When they’d returned back to the castle, Gregory retired to his room as he usually did before dinner, no doubt enjoying the quiet with a good book. However, other parts of the castle were not so quiet.

“And you should have seen the way he was looking at her,” Luna gushed at Celestia in their private study. “I swear I was tempted to flick him and see if he’d fall over.”

“And you didn’t?” Celestia asked mischievously. “Lulu. I’m impressed.”

“Give us some credit, dear sister,” Luna huffed. “We do have some self control.”

“Tell that to the maid who walked in on you after the Nightmare Night festivities,” Celestia chortled. “She’s still in therapy.”

Luna frowned as she recalled the incident. The maid had come in just as Luna was really getting her candy on. Being that she still hadn’t removed her Nightmare Moon costume and had a muzzle dripping with melted sugar in the dim light of her room, the maid could possibly be forgiven for thinking that Nightmare Moon had returned for real and was eating a disemboweled pony. “Art thou making some remark on our eating habits?”

“You mean besides the fact that diamond dogs eat with less splatter than you?” Blueblood retorted. “I’m more interested in this Maud character, as well as her intentions for my Gregory.”

“Your Gregory?” Luna asked teasingly.

“Yes. My Gregory,” Blueblood emphasized. “He is my ward and thus I am responsible for his wellbeing.” He paid no mind to the way his aunts hummed in disbelief.

“In any case, I think it’s a bit too soon to be discussing such matters,” Celestia asserted as she levitated her tea for a sip. “One look is hardly grounds to start planning a wedding ceremony. This isn’t one of Lulu’s fanfictions.”

“Hey,” Luna whined.

“In any case,” Celestia strained. “For the time being, I say we wait and see what comes of this. And Blueblood.”

“Yes.”

“I know how you feel about this colt.” She paused as his ears drooped. “But try not to let that interfere in helping in his assimilation. Protect him from those of ill intent, but step aside and allow him to form his own friendships. Understand?”

Blueblood sighed. “Yes, Aunty.”

***

The eve of the party had come all too soon for Gregory, but at the same time it hadn’t come soon enough. He’d been anxiously stressing over the morrow’s events that it had cost him more than a bit of sleep. In fact, when Luna came by to ask why he was so late for breakfast, the mare had summoned a small squad of maids to draw a cold bath and toss him in. When one of the maids pointed out that the same result could have been achieved with Luna’s own magic, the queen ordered them all to toilet duty for the rest of the day.

Thankfully, Luna had generously offered to help take his mind off his troubles with a few hours in the game room. After granting permission to enter his mind, Luna had extracted memories of his world’s video games, along with a few other things she probably should have cared more about. Mixing that knowledge with the expertise of Equestrian game makers, they’d quickly produced the first prototypes of many of Gregory’s favorites that could easily be played with hooves. The greatest challenge for Gregory was to go easy on Luna, for despite her love of games, she was still a novice of the things he’d committed to memory.

Blueblood quizzed Gregory over rules of etiquette, the names of ponies of interest, and other things he’d need to know over the short carriage ride to the party. They arrived outside an impressive looking mansion of white and blue marble with seemingly a hundred fancy ponies strutting their way inside. It wasn’t long before the human pony noticed the other guests staring his way. Most of the murmurs regarded the prince, but he also caught the ‘H’ word more than once. At Blueblood’s cough, Gregory found the stallion with his head held high in pride, motioning for his companion to do the same.

“Ah. Your highness!” Greeted a white stallion with a blue mane and moustache. “So glad you could make it.” He and the prince shared a soft bow.

“So glad to be here. Fancy Pants.” Blueblood motioned to his companion. “This is my friend Gregory Grimory, Equestria’s one and only resident human pony.”

“Good to meet you old chap.” Fancy reached out and shook Gregory’s hoof generously.

“Good to be here, Mr. Pants.” Gregory smiled back.

“Please. Call me Fancy.”

“Alright,” Gregory chuckled as he glanced around the stallion towards the mansion. “I was told this was a charity banquet. Might I ask what the charity is for?”

“But of course,” Fancy beamed. “This function is for Canterlot’s rather disgraceful unemployment rates. There was a bit of a slump in the stock market recently and many ponies lost their jobs. That’s when I got the idea for this beauty.” He waved back at the mansion. “Besides the banquet, I’ve also set up the parlor as something of a casino. Rich ponies play, have a good time, and all the proceeds go to housing the homeless, feeding the hungry, and training the jobless.”

“Sounds like a nice all around charity,” Gregory beamed back, impressed by the stallions altruism. “Wish more of the rich back home were like you.”

“Flatterer.” Fancy tittered, fluttering his eyelids at the new stallion as he motioned for them to follow him inside. “But on that note, you wouldn’t happen to have any thoughts on how this issue might be fixed, would you?”

“Why ask me?” Gregory frowned, fearing he knew the answer as he noticed many of the surrounding ponies were now eavesdropping.

“Because you’re human,” Fancy said flatly. “Not to seem rude, but ponies here have certain expectations for your kind. I understand how rumors can leave the truth in the dust, but ponies will still look to the legends and see the human pony as a beacon for all the answers.”

Gregory grimaced. Blueblood had warned him as much, that ponies would look to him as a savant of the world, possibly even treating him as the second coming of Starswirl the Bearded. The legends of human contribution were that potent. However, thanks to the prince’s warning over this very thing, Gregory had given this particular answer some thought.

“State sanctioned bailouts are a mixed bag and can usually lead to issues in the long run. Work programs might be better, but I think the best thing to do is charities like these.” Gregory waved his hoof around as they entered the parlor. As Fancy said, there were slot machines, tables, spinners, and other such things all around with several circular tables of food in the middle. “Charity from the people, or ponies, is really the best thing. Get everyone to come together for mutual support and all that stuff.” He grimaced again. “Sorry.”

“For what?” Fancy asked. “That sounds like a fine idea.”

“Agreed,” Blueblood added.

“It’s not even mine, though.” Gregory shrugged meekly. “At best it’s a shoddy parroting of someone who said it a lot better.”

“Be that as it may, I still like it. And here.” Fancy reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a roll of gambling chips. “On the house, and do have fun. As for me, I need to go make sure my wife is behaving herself.” He departed into the crowd, casually greeting guests as he went.

“That went well,” Blueblood congratulated.

“It definitely could have gone worse,” Gregory agreed.

The party went on for the longest time with little of interest happening. Having no love of gambling, Gregory stuck by Blueblood’s side where he did his best to keep his smile as countless ponies approached. At first all was well as most of the ponies, caked in far too much perfume and makeup for the human’s liking, were mostly interested in Blueblood. However, as the evening went on, more and more began to recognize Gregory for what he was, not who he was, and the questions he’d been dreaded were fired at him like so many rockets.

Ponies asked for advice regarding economic issues of which Gregory had to confess his ignorance. He was fairly certain their praises of wisdom were accompanied by unspoken accusations of a less friendly sort. There were questions about personal issues, political issues, requests for elaborations on what he’d said to Fancy about charities and mutual support, and many more things the poor fellow had to insist he was unqualified to answer. Worst of all were the stud requests.

Ponies Gregory had never even met, and likely wouldn’t recognize under all that makeup, came up offering their daughters and even wives on a silver platter. Some were the relatively simple requests for him to stud a mare and then leave after he’d knocked her up. Others were requests for him to join established herds, even ones that already had stallions. It was the stallions that especially frightened the lad as their makeup and obvious wigs made them look like the sort of modern art exhibits that museums would mistake for garbage. Such requests were always accompanied with bribes of some form, which they called stud fees. These ranged from straightforward down payments, property deeds, stock in businesses, political favors, and a few things that barely sounded legal.

Thankfully Blueblood rendered them all silent with a bellowing declaration that Gregory was his and that all such requests had to go through him. Somehow this rendered the human pony virtually invisible as ponies shoved past him to get to the prince with their propositions. When he was finally free, after savoring a breath of semi-fresh air that was only mildly tainted with offensive perfume, Gregory turned back to his savior who winked at him through the mass of ponies. While initially worried, Gregory was relieved to see the prince with a genuine looking smile, confirming what he’d heard about Blueblood loving to be the center of attention.

Overcoming his apprehension at being alone, Gregory began exploring the party on his own. Amidst the bells and whistles of the machines, bright lights, the cheers and moans of gamblers, and the idle chatter, rich ponies barely gave him a second look. Apparently Blueblood’s declaration had carried far, confirming another of the human’s suspicions.

They don’t care. It had been a fear weighing heavily on his spirit since he’d been told. Human ponies were valued for their bodies and their knowledge. The foals of human ponies were said to be even more brilliant, daring, and innovative than their parents, and that these traits held strong for many generations down the line. Many humans of the past had laid the foundation for noble houses that remained strong even to this day. As he looked about, Gregory confirmed that many of the nobility had slightly smaller eyes than the others, especially compared to the servants running about for their various duties.

Not about me. Gregory was an asset, not a person, at least in present company. He was a means to an end, a tool for the nobility to elevate their respective houses. That’s why they’re ignoring me now, he concluded. Blueblood basically declared himself my owner, so now these pampered prats, who probably got their perfume from the drains at a deli, end up focusing on him to get what they want. But he knew better than to begrudge his friend for such a thing. Blueblood did what he had to in order to free him from an entitled mob.

Gregory punched his hoof against his chin to snap himself out of his funk. Screw those guys! He declared to himself. I might be an asset, but I’m my own asset. I can do whatever the hell I like. I’m a god damn human pony! These emboldening thoughts were quickly tempered by Gregory’s down-to-earth nature. He decided to just keep exploring the party until he found something or someone of interest.

Then he saw her, the gray mare from yesterday. She was sitting alone at a bench on the far wall a fair ways from any gambling stands. She had the same dispassionate look from before as her eyes swept across the room, at least until they landed on him. She looked roughly the same as yesterday, with an even cut mane, no makeup save for the eyeshadow, and a black shiny dress that was better suited for this kind of event. They stared at each other a moment before Gregory found his hooves moving of their own accord, carrying him forward. He tried asking an approaching drink serving waitress for help, fearful that he’d been possessed, but instead snatched up one of the red drinks and downed it in an instant before giving her back the glass. And in the very next second, the possibly possessed stallion found himself standing before the stone faced mare.

“I, um, hey,” Gregory greeted meekly, forgetting his anxieties from earlier in favor of whole new ones. “I, uh, saw you over here by yourself and, uh, just thought you might like some company.”

Maud stared ambivalently at the stallion. “That would be nice,” she said, motioning for him to sit on the bench beside her.

Steeling his nerves, Gregory took the seat as he fretted over a way to break the ice. Thankfully, that something came in the form of the living cotton candy swinging from the ceiling and firing a confetti cannon off in the distance. “Your, uh, sister seems to be enjoying herself.”

“She loves parties,” Maud said flatly. “It’s her cutie mark, after all.”

“What about you? I mean, do you like parties?” Gregory immediately cursed himself for asking such a stupid question.

“Not especially,” Maud said.

“Then, um, if it’s not rude of me to ask…”

“Why am I here?” Maud asked for him. “Considering how much Pie Industries donates to various charities, we get invited to these sorts of things all the time, but there’s usually just so much to do on the farm that we rarely get to go. Mother and father encouraged me to give it a shot as a way of meeting new ponies.”

Gregory chuckled. “Funny. That’s actually why I’m here too.” He felt his breath catch in his throat as Maud turned to face him. “I’m not all that outgoing, so Celestia thought this’d be a good way to get to meet ponies.”

“Is it working?”

“Well,” Gregory trailed off. “I did meet this one mare. She’s kinda quiet, like me, so I guess that made her pretty approachable.” Stupid-stupid-stupid-stupid, he cursed himself.

“She sounds nice,” Maud said evenly. Though her face remained still as stone, she did appreciate the way this stallion was stumbling over himself to talk to her. “Is she pretty?”

Gregory gulped as his eyes went wide. I’m pretty sure that’s entrapment, he thought nervously. “I don’t suppose you’d let me get away with saying she’s as pretty as you?”

“No,” Maud answered after an agonizingly long second of pause.

“No?”

“No,” Maud said again as she scooted closer to him until they were hip to hip on the bench. “I don’t think I would let you get away.”

Gregory swallowed the frog in his throat as he felt his pits stain from sweat. “So, um, w-what would you l-like to t-talk about?”

“I like rocks.”

“Rocks?”

“Rocks,” Maud repeated. “Right now I’m managing the Canterlot division of Pie Industries, but I’m trying to moonlight as a professor of geology at Canterlot U.”

“Oh yeah. Your sister said something about that,” Gregory said, feeling a rise of anger at his inability to read this mare. “What’s Pie Industries?”

“Ever notice how common marble and other stones are in Canterlot’s architecture?” she asked, but didn’t wait for an answer. “Pie Industries owns many of the largest mines in the empire that acquire, refine, distribute, and all around produce most of the empire’s rock needs.”

“Wow.” Gregory blinked. “And since you have the same name as the company…” He left the question implied.

“I’m an heiress to a multi-million bit corporation,” Maud said as plainly as one might describe their eye color. “I also like rocks. That’s… not a problem, is it?”

Gregory blinked at hearing Maud hesitate for the first time. Is… she worried what I think? Best not leave her waiting. “I don’t see why it would be,” he chuckled nervously. “You seem like a pretty down-to-earth sort.”

“Well I am an earth pony.”

“Considering you like rocks, profit from rocks, and, uh, some third thing…” he trailed off.

“I have a rock for a cutie mark,” she offered.

“That,” he added hurriedly. “I’d say you’re more like the earth pony.”

Maud blinked and stared at him for another agonizingly long second. “That may be the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.” With near lightning speed, Maud lunged forward and planted a kiss just below Gregory’s jaw.

Stricken stiff and rigid, in more ways than he’d care to admit, Gregory was granted a moment of peace as he and Maud sat silently together, watching the other guests mill about.

A pony waiter who had spied the entire thing ducked into the crowd and maneuvered his way through the guests until he found Blueblood and gave his report. Blueblood smiled in satisfaction before ordering the waiter back to his post.

“By the way,” Maud said, breaking the silence. “You don’t look like an ordinary unicorn. What tribe are you, anyway?”

“Me?” Gregory asked, pointing at himself. He hadn’t actually expected to meet someone here who didn’t know what he was. It was encouraging. “I’m, well, a human pony. That’s what everyone keeps telling me, anyway.”

“Human?” Maud’s half lidded eyes opened a bit wider. “As in those biped creatures from another world?”

“Thems the ones,” he said with a shrug.

“Funny. I thought you’d be taller.”

“I was,” Gregory sighed despondently. “But apparently there’s so much magic in the air that it was basically hazardous to my health. So, after ponies stopped screaming long enough for someone to identify what I was, I was sent off to the queens, with a guard escort no less, and told I’d have to either be transformed into a pony or wait for the magic to kill me.”

“That’s awful,” Maud said sympathetically.

“Could have been worse.” Gregory shrugged as he held his hoof in front of his face. A waitress came by and handed them both drinks, which Gregory downed quickly. “Apparently the spell turns you into whatever kind of pony best fits who you are, or something.” He reached his hoof up and tapped his horn. “Now I’m a human pony who looks like a beady-eyed unicorn,” he laughed glumly as he stared at the floor.

“I… happen to like unicorns,” Maud admitted.

Gregory’s ears perked in interest.

“All ponies have preferences,” Maud began. “Mostly for their own kind. But then there are those who take a liking to something different. Some like pegasi wings. Others like earth pony muscle. And then there are those of us with a thing for…” she paused, glancing up at Gregory’s forehead, “horns.”

I really wish that I knew if this chick was moving fast or slow, Gregory thought. Announcing her appreciation for a part of his anatomy did seem a little on the rushed side. Maybe this is just how ponies act nice? Maybe I’m overthinking and there isn’t actually anything untoward being suggested at all?

Maud lifted her hoof and pointed at Gregory’s horn. “Do you think I could touch it?”

Blast that theory out of the water. “I, um, I’m not really sure that’d be okay.”

“Alright,” Maud said acceptingly and set her hoof back down. She turned away to face the party once more, but then glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. “Just so we’re clear, I want to touch your horn. While I’m willing to be patient, I’m also used to getting what I want.”

Gregory felt his body shiver as his pulse accelerated. There was something about the way she’d spoken. It was still dry, but he could swear there was a hint of aggression under the surface that was threatening to come out. And with her greater size, which he’d come to expect as the norm of earth ponies, it probably wouldn’t have been hard for her to overpower him if she wanted. It was terrifying, but also exhilarating. High on magical equine hormones, Gregory decided to give in to the stupidity and explore this situation a bit further.

“Hypothetically speaking, if you were to touch my h-horn,” he gulped. “W-what exactly would you do?”

Maud unceremoniously let herself fall onto Gregory’s side, surprising him with her weight as she made herself comfortable. “I’d use my hoof to start.” She held her hoof in front of her face, stroking it up and down the imagined appendage.

Gregory shuddered. He hadn’t thought about it much, but after being told that unicorn horns were sensitive, he’d gone back to his room for a little experimentation. Suffice to say he’d cut the experiments short on the grounds that he didn’t want whoever washed his sheets to report their findings to the queens or prince. But now, seeing Maud’s gentle and methodic movements, he was beginning to second guess his initial refusal.

“But that’d only be the start,” Maud continued. “All the magazines say that if you really want to please a unicorn, you have to use your…” she paused for dramatic effect, “mouth.” Maud was pleased by the way the stallion gulped as she popped her lips. She extended her tongue and folded it for him, earning a whimper. Teasing colts had always been fun, but never this much. “I’d move my mouth, up and down, up and down,” she bobbed her head back and forth, “and up and down and then I’d stop.”

“W-why would you stop?”

Maud leaned in close until their noses were nearly touching. “So you would beg me to keep going.”

It’s always the quiet ones, Gregory told himself resolutely as he inhaled, finding her distinct scent among they myriad of other aromas. “You, um, smell nice.”

Maud’s face remained unmoved, save for the sudden coloring of her cheeks.

Gregory pulled away, laughing nervously as he denied the mare her cushion. “That is, um, you smell a lot better than anyone else here.”

Not missing a beat, Maud replied as she continued to stare. “That’s not much of a compliment. The place where the dragon migration stops to relieve themselves would smell better than this place.”

“Never been there, but I’ll take your word for it.” Gregory laughed. “But seriously, what’s with these ponies? It’s like this room is one step away from being declared a biological weapon.”

“Really? What’s the last step?” Maud asked.

“Got a match?”

“No, but we can get one after the party.”

It was faint, but Gregory could have sworn he saw the corner of the mare’s mouth creep upwards just a bit. Emboldened to see it again, he pressed on. “But seriously, have these guys never heard of simple bathing? Because if not, that’s definitely a thing I need to teach you guys about.”

“Now that’s something I’d like to see,” Maud admitted as she leaned in closer. “Do you plan on opening a bath house as a means to properly teach ponies to scrub themselves? Will it be an altruistic means of teaching ponies proper hygiene, or will it all be a cover for you to feel up on unsuspecting ponies to your heart’s content?”

Gregory was breathing heavily as he listened to the mare’s honeyed words.

“Because if it’s the latter, I think you might need to get in some…” she paused again. “Practice.”

Gregory narrowed an accusing glare on the mare. “You’re doing this on purpose, aren’t you?”

“And if I am?” Maud scooted closer, once more pressing her side against his. “How do you intend to stop me?”

Feeling bold, and possibly inebriated, Gregory declared “Like this,” and nipped at the mare’s ear.

Maud squeaked softly in her throat. Nips were a pretty routine part of pony body language, each conveying a different means of expressing affection. She reminded herself that this stallion was new to Equestria and likely didn’t understand exactly what he’d just said with that action. However, that brand of reasoning did little to stop her hind legs from grinding together as she sat.

Gregory was frozen stiff, terrified of what he’d done. He’d seen ponies nip each other plenty of times. He’d even done it with Blueblood after being assured that it was a perfectly acceptable means of showing platonic friendship. He recalled a time when he’d tried it with Luna, only for her to start tittering uncontrollably before running away. He’d tried asking about it from Celestia or Blueblood, but the two had been aggravatingly evasive. Now he feared he’d done something similar, perhaps even worse, thus ruining his first real friendship outside the castle.

“Did you do that on purpose?” Maud asked.

“Sorry,” Gregory pleaded. “I, um, I’m new to this. I know that’s no excuse, but I’m still learning these things. It was dumb and I-”

“It’s alright,” Maud cut him off, resisting the urge to continue grinding. “You’re still learning, and we all make mistakes. It’s nothing to apologize about.”

Gregory gave a loud sigh of relief.

“You’re still learning, so allow me to give you a lesson.” Maud seized one of Gregory’s forelegs and held it against her chest. “When you do something like that to a mare, don’t be surprised if she’s cross with you when you stop,” Maud said, her voice sounding deeper and more sultry.

Gregory gulped. “Stop? Stop what?”

Maud’s answer was a firm nuzzle into his neck as she pressed herself harder against him. There wasn’t much more talking after that, save for a few sounds of contentment from either pony as they watched the party. Every so often some pony would glance their way with a look Gregory couldn’t quite place, but they were few and far between. Pinkie, demonstrating a remarkable level of self-control, managed to spot the two without running up and pulling them into a bone crushing hug, for which she earned a subtle nod from her sister.

In time the party died down and the guests departed. Blueblood had to personally fetch his ward, lest the mare take advantage of his naïveté and convince him to spend the night at her place. They said their goodbyes and the stallions eventually boarded their luxury carriage back to the castle. The prince bragged about how he’d managed to outmaneuver the other nobility with half-truths, misdirection, and many other things that clearly did not impress his companion.

“You meet any interesting mares?” Blueblood asked with a cheeky grin.

“One.” Gregory gave a noncommittal shrug as he stared dreamily out the window as the buildings went by. “She was… nice, I guess.”

Blueblood, a professional socialite, had learned quickly of Gregory’s reservations and general noncommittal nature. It reminded him a lot of Luna in the time immediately following her return. As such, he felt confident that his aunts would be most pleased when they learned their little human had found himself a crush.

Author's Notes:

And yet another attempt at first time romances. Hopefully I’ve learned from past efforts and made this look sufficiently cute and believable. I really like the idea of a lusty Maud, so cool and quiet on the outside, but inside is a fiery passion ready to burn. She’s not a robot, but just picky about who she shares her feelings with. With Maud-sense in mind, not to mention the retcon of making the Pies actually rich, I imagine the faintest sense of entitlement. When there’s a thing she wants, she’ll never stop until she gets it.