Veil of Thoughts
By Starwin

Chapter 14

Due to many comments, many of which I agree with, this chapter has been significantly reworked, twice... So, uh, third time’s the charm? Apologies to everyone, minor stress breakdown. Hopefully this should be just a bit more fulfilling.

Applejack felt the world flicker into existence around her as the darkness of Death receded. For a brief moment everything was slightly fuzzy and out of focus. Bright, rainbow colored light filled the room. Applejack could see outlines of objects, but they had no color.

All at once, the roar — that Applejack hadn’t even realized was there — ended abruptly. Absolute silence pressed against her ears and the multi colored light left her vision. After a few blinks her eyes adjusted back to the flickering candle light.

Applejack found herself standing in the center of the library. She was in the exact same spot she had departed from. In fact — she glanced around the room — everything seemed to be exactly as it had been when they had left.

“Whoa!” said Spike, breaking the silence. Applejack found the baby dragon standing in the exact same spot he had been too, like he hadn’t moved for hours. “What was that supposed to do?”

“It let us travel into Death,” answered Rarity. She looked a little unnerved at her own words.

“Are y’all okay, sugarcube?” whispered Applejack to the lavender mare with the rainbow hair. The mare had her eyes closed and didn’t speak, but nodded very slightly.

“Into… into Death!?” cried Spike. “Good thing it didn’t work!”

“Didn’t work?” asked Fluttershy softly in mild disbelief. She peaked out from around the mare to look at Spike. “Oh no, that can’t be right, we’ve been gone for hours.”

“Uh, no,” said Spike, “You’ve just been standing right there. There was all this light and noise and stuff. I watched the whole time, you guys didn’t go anywhere!”

“But I felt it!” cried Pinkie, flinging her forelegs into the air and spinning around dramatically. “I was there, on the other side, flying through a field of the most amazing balloons I’ve ever seen! And there were streamers racing across the sky! It was like the biggest, bestest party ever!”

“Say what now?” asked Applejack. Pinkie had drawn her attention away from the unresponsive mare at the group’s center. “I didn’t see no balloons, just green fields of apple trees.”

“And I saw beautiful butterflies!” added Fluttershy, moving out to join Pinkie and Applejack. “More butterflies than I’ve ever seen before! Except…” Her voice trailed off uncertainly. “I got the feeling that they didn’t want to be my friends. Almost like they didn’t want me there.”

“Wow! Really? Because that’s exactly how I felt!” exclaimed Pinkie. “It was like I wasn’t invited to the party!”

“I can’t believe we just did that,” muttered Rarity, taking a few steps away from the group. “We shouldn’t have been able to do that… you can’t bring the dead back…”

“Rarity, are you alright?” asked Applejack, taking a hesitant step towards her. “Ya don’t look so good.”

“No, I am most certainly not ‘alright’!” snapped Rarity. “Do you have any idea what we’ve done?”

“Calm down,” said a voice that froze everypony in place. “It’s not what you think.” For a long moment there was silence. Slowly, all eyes turned to the mismatched mare standing at the center of the room.

“Twilight?” asked Spike, a note of uncertainty in his small voice.

“Not what I think?” shouted Rarity indignantly, before anypony else could speak. “Not what I think! We went into Death and we brought back the dead! How, exactly, is that not what I think?”

“Because we didn’t bring back the dead,” said the mare, her voice was different this time.

“Dash?” asked Fluttershy.

“I was wrong,” continued the voice that sounded so much like Dash. “I thought Twilight had given her life for me. But that’s not how it is, she hadn’t given her life for me, she had given it to me. So she was still alive inside me, more than just a memory or a thought. But some part of her was still missing. Something that we found in Death…”

“My soul,” said the voice of Twilight. “I thought that both of us couldn’t exist like this. It wasn’t just a conflict of minds but of our very souls. I thought that if I left, everything would fix itself for Dash. But I was wrong too. Dash helped me see the truth. Instead of accepting this body, this intertwined fate, we’ve been trying to find a way to fix it and that’s been pulling us apart.”

“Some things you just can’t fix,” said Dash a little sadly. “Some things, you just have to accept.”

“And you’ve, what, accepted this?” asked Applejack. Twilight Dash nodded hesitantly. “So what are you now, who are you now?”

“If I had to describe it,” said Twilight. “It’s not quite like how I used to be, before this whole mess happened. I’m still me in here but I’m also Dash. It’s like we share the same memories, like we’re one pony, but there are two of us.”

“It’s like we’re two ponies working together to make one,” said Dash.

“So who’s in control?” asked Pinkie. “Does like Twilight get that leg,” she pointed to their right hoof, “and Dash gets this wing over here?” In a flash she moved around Dash to tug at her wing. “And does Twilight only see out of this eye?” She looked into the purple eye, searching it closely as if she was trying to see Twilight inside it.

“No,” said Twilight. “And stop that!” They took a step away from Pinkie.

“It isn’t like either one of us is in control,” said Dash. “It’s like we both are.” She took a step forward. “Me and Twilight did that together. It’s like… like…” She struggled for a comparison.

“Like peanut butter and bananas?” suggested Pinkie Pie.

“What? No!” said Dash in confusion.

“Also, yuck,” said Twilight, sticking out their tongue. “No, it’s like we are one body, one mind, but two souls.”

“What have you done,” said a voice that made everypony jump. Applejack spun on the spot to find princesses Celestia and Luna landing just outside the library door. They did not wait to be invited in. Neither smiled as they entered and Celestia looked very displeased.

“We went into Death to get Twilight, and we flew through all this darkness, then this field of balloons, or apple trees, or butterflies, or whatever else Rarity and Dash saw, then we found Twilight and she was like, no I don’t want to go back, and Dash was like, we’re totally taking you back, and Twilight was like, okay, and I was like PULL, but it was too soon, so I was like PULL again, and now were all back and Dash and Twilight have finally worked out their problem!” said Pinkie helpfully at nearly in comprehensible speed.

“Did she even take a breath?” whispered Applejack.

“You went into the realm of Death?” asked Celestia, her face emotionless, but her glare fixed on Twilight Dash.

“Yep!” said Pinkie simply.

“So the fusion spell,” asked Celestia, “it worked? You are truly two ponies merged into one?” Twilight Dash nodded.

“I guess we are,” said Dash. “We’re both here, existing together.”

“I see,” said Celestia. “That is… unfortunate.”

“What… what do you mean?” stammered Twilight, their expression suddenly becoming upset.

“I was hoping it would not come to this,” said Celestia. “I did not want to have to go through this a second time.”

“What are y’all talking about,” asked Applejack, moving forward slightly. “Go through what?”

“The Elements of Harmony are balance,” explained Celestia. “They strengthen and complement each other. When they work together, they can accomplish great things. But they exist in balance, and Twilight Dash has changed that balance.

“You have no doubt noticed that your traits pertaining to your elements have faltered recently,” said Celestia. Applejack felt a flicker of surprise, how could Celestia possibly know that?

“Woah!” said Pinkie. “Do you have pinkie sense too?”

“No,” said Celestia. “I know, because this has happened before, twice in fact. The first time was with the first bearers of Harmony and the second time was to my sister.”

“What exactly happened?” asked Rarity slightly confused.

“Aurora Winds happened,” said Celestia. “She was the first bearer of Magic. But she used her gift for personal gain, to merge with another pony… to fuse with Silver Stars, the bearer of kindness. The disharmony created from her horrific act disrupted the balance between the elements.

“The powers became twisted as the struggle of two souls strained the bond between the bearers. Balance was replaced with chaos and harmony with discord. The internal turmoil manifested itself into the world as a physical being, as…”

“Discord…” whispered Twilight with a sudden realization. “They made Discord…” Celestia nodded slightly.

“My sister and I had no choice but to seize control of the elements ourselves,” continued Celestia. “We had to restore balance, to bring the world back into harmony. We were able to contain Discord but our actions had unforeseen consequences.”

“The elements must exist in harmony,” explained Luna. “No one pony may bear more than a single element. To hold more than one is to tip the scales of balance. For us, that imbalance brought forth a monster from within…”

“Nightmare Moon,” said Dash.

“So wait, are y’all sayin’ that because Twilight and Dash are joined together, they’re going to turn into some kind of monster?” asked Applejack.

“Perhaps,” said Celestia, “perhaps not. In both previous cases there were extenuating circumstances. With Aurora Wind, she brought disharmony through force. With Nightmare Moon, she manifested from my sisters own internal turmoil. But with each, did the elements play a part.”

“So… so what are you going to do to us?” asked Twilight. Celestia did not answer right away. The room was filled with an almost unbearable pause.

“I know what I must do,” said Celestia, her eyes fixed on Twilight. “But I would hear your answer first, Twilight Sparkle. Why did you do this?”

“I did this to save Rainbow Dash’s life,” said Twilight seriously, her own eyes locked with the princesses. “I gave up myself so that she could live.”

“I see,” said Celestia softly. “So if we were to separate you,” Twilight’s face paled, “Dash would not survive the process.” Twilight shook her head slightly. “I would also hear from Miss Rainbow Dash then, what do you want?”

“I want…” said Dash, they looked away.

“Dash no!” shouted Twilight, her eyes panicked for a moment. “She’s fine, we’re both fine with this! We’ve accepted this!” Celestia seemed to grow slightly larger, her towering form causing Twilight to shrink away, looking a little afraid.

“Speak Dash,” urged Celestia seriously. “I would hear your thoughts.”

“I want… I want to give Twilight her life back,” said Dash. “I know what she gave up for me, what she’s done for me… and I don’t want to throw that away. But… this doesn’t feel fair to her. It doesn’t feel fair to anypony. No matter how you look at it we are still two ponies trapped in a single body…”

“Then there is still uncertainty within you,” said Celestia. “You place a difficult decision before me. My sister and I cannot put you back as you were, not now that I know the truth of why you came to be. But I cannot leave you as you are, with your heart filled with uncertainty. In such a state the deterioration of your elements will only become worse.”

“Our elements are fine!” lied Applejack, then closed her mouth quickly.

“Exactly my point,” said Celestia with a sigh. “It is only a matter of time before your harmony collapses and a new blight is unleashed upon the world. I am afraid there are few choices left to us…”

“What… what are you planning to do?” asked Rarity. Celestia looked away, but did not answer.

“Thee can relinquish thy elements,” said Luna when her sister did not speak. “And balance can be restored.”

The four friends gasped in horror. But Twilight Dash did not react.

“The only other option…” said Celestia. “I do not wish to consider.”

“Twilight… you can’t,” pleaded Applejack.

“It’s the only way,” said Twilight. “Because the other option is banishment… isn’t it?” She looked pointedly at Celestia and saw the momentary flicker in her mentor’s eyes.

“What?” asked Pinkie slightly confused.

“You are correct, Twilight Sparkle,” said Celestia. “That is the only other option.”

“Then I will give up my element,” said Twilight. “All throughout this mess, Dash and I have been loyal to each other and magic has only made things worse.”

“Dash, what say you?” asked Celestia. Twilight Dash nodded, but there was a frown on their face.

“Dash agrees with me,” said Twilight. “But she doesn’t want to admit I’m right.”

“Very well,” said Celestia. She looked to her sister, who nodded.

Together the princesses’ horns began to glow, white magic mixing with black energy. The strands of magic swirled through the air, wrapping around Twilight Dash. The other four ponies backed away. The light raced faster and faster, spinning like a whirlwind. The strands passed around their body and through it and then there was a brilliant flash and the room went dark as the candles flickered out.

The shadows remained for only a moment before a pulse of light briefly illuminated the room. The light had come from a glowing gem that hung in the air, spinning slowly. It was shaped like Twilight’s cutie mark, the large purple star that adorned her left flank. All eyes were on the newly formed gem that glinted and twinkled, just like a real star.

“Is that what the elements look like?” asked Fluttershy. “It’s beautiful.”

“What, what will happen to it?” asked Twilight, finally able to pull their eyes away from the gem.

“It will be kept safe,” said Celestia. Her horn glowed and a protective bubble wrapped around the gem. “Until the two of you have found true harmony within yourself.”

“So… you’ll let us stay like this?” asked Dash.

“Well that is up to you,” said Celestia. “You may have finally accepted how you are, but it may be some time before you can accept who you are.”

“The hour grows late,” said Luna. “Sister you should return to rest, or you will miss the sunrise.”

“Yes, you are right sister,” said Celestia, for the first time looking a little worn out. “When you are ready Twilight Dash, when you have balanced yourself, your element will be waiting for you.” Twilight Dash nodded.

Celestia and Luna departed back to Canterlot, carrying with them the Element of Magic, held protectively between them. Twilight watched it with sad eyes. It felt like she had lost a bigger part of herself than when she had merged with Dash.

Twilight had wanted to start working to put the library back in order, but Dash had suggested it could wait for tomorrow. The princesses had been right, there was still turmoil within them. Their problems might have been sorted out for their body and mind, but they were still having problems being a single pony, no matter how much Twilight didn’t want to admit it.

Their friends had insisted on staying the night. Dash had wanted to refuse but Twilight welcomed the company. In the end they had compromised with themself, if somewhat reluctantly. Their friends could stay, but there would be none of that girly sleep over stuff, just sleep.

With a cheer, Pinkie Pie produced several sleeping bags for them, seemingly out of nowhere. The friends laid the roll out sleeping mats on the floor in a circle so that they could all see one another.

“I always keep some sleeping bags stashed nearby, just incase there is an emergency sleepover party, which there is!” cried Pinkie, blowing on the paper trumpet she had gotten from some place. “So what game should we play first!”

“I said none of that girly stuff!” insisted Dash.

“Yeah, I don’t think we are gona play any games tonight,” said Applejack wearily. Pinkie’s ears drooped a little. “There will be time later, once we’ve recovered from all this excitement.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” said Pinkie a little sadly. Then her face perked up. “But there is time for cake right? There is always time for cake!”

“Sure,” said Twilight. “I guess we could do cake before we go to sleep.” She could feel Dash’s reluctant thoughts give a little to the idea of cake.

“Alright!” cheered Pinkie. “I’ll be right back!” With a whoosh, she vanished in a pink blur.

“Where is she going to get a cake at this hour?” asked Dash, settling down into their sleeping bag.

“Oh, you know Pinkie Pie,” said Rarity, “I’m sure she has an emergency party cake some place.” The room went quiet, while they waited for Pinkie to return. No pony seemed to know what to say, or what to ask. Finally, it was Fluttershy, of all ponies, who broke the silence.

“Dash, are you really unhappy fused with Twilight,” asked Fluttershy.

“No… not unhappy,” said Dash after a moment. “Uncomfortable maybe? It’s really kind of strange, not in a bad way, just, strange. It’s like having somepony else in here with me. I don’t know… it’s like Celestia said, we might have accepted how we are… but I think it’s going to take more time for us to accept who we’ve become.”

“I promise I’ll do everything I can to make this better for you,” whispered Twilight to herself.

“We’ll do everything we can,” corrected Dash. “We have to do this together.” Twilight Dash smiled.

“So what’s it like in there?” asked Applejack. “Can you hear each others thoughts?”

“Sometimes,” said Dash. “Sometimes its just murmurs, but when Twilight is really thinking hard about something, its like she’s whispering in my ear.”

“I keep remembering things,” said Twilight. “It’s hard to tell if they were things I did, or things Dash did. Like there is this one memory, where I was trying to show off to this colt I had a crush on. I was trying to get as close to the ground as I could before pulling up.” Twilight smiled and Dash frowned.

“Wait!” cried Dash. “That’s my memory!”

“So what happened?” asked Applejack slyly.

“Nothing happened!” said Dash defensively.

“I ended up crashing into him!” said Twilight with a giggle and a blush. All of the girls couldn’t help but laugh.

“Oh yeah! Well I can find embarrassing memories in here too!” said Dash. They were quiet for a long moment, their face strained as they searched. “Wow Twilight, your childhood was really boring! It’s all just studying and more studying! Didn’t you have any fun before you came to Ponyville?”

“Of… of course I did!” stammered Twilight. “Reading is lots of fun!”

“Who wants cake!” cried Pinkie Pie. The party pony had reappeared with a six layered cake that wobbled slightly as she held it. The frosting was colored to each of the ponies, although two of the layers were still blue and lavender. “It’s actually six different cakes that I combined into one! It’s no cake-pie, but it’s still super awesome! Do… do you guys like it?”

“It’s perfect,” said Twilight Dash together.

END

Author's Notes:

Thank you everyone who took the time to read and/or comment on my work. It really means a lot to me! I do read every comment (even if I don't respond), so just because this story has been posted for a while don't feel discouraged from telling me what you thought.