Veil of Thoughts
By Starwin

Chapter 10

It might have been days later, or only minutes — how did you tell time in a place where the sun never moved — when Twilight finally stopped crying. At last, Applejack let her friend go. Twilight, still sitting on the ground, smiled thankfully up at Applejack.

“So, I can put us back the way we were,” said Twilight. “But I won’t.”

“But we could get y’all to the hospital,” said Applejack. “Have the doctors standing by, have Celestia there ready to help.”{1}

Twilight shook her head and looked down at the ground so that she wouldn’t have to meet Applejack’s gaze.

“No, you don’t understand,” said Twilight. “If… If Dash and I separate… what you get back… it won’t be…” She looked up at Applejack, trying to make her understand without words. “There won’t be anything anypony can do for her.” {2}

“So if we can’t get you back the way you were, what are you gona do about this?” asked Applejack, waving a hoof at the world around them. As if on cue, everything shook again. “Do you have some kinda plan to get out of this mess?” {3}

“I don’t,” said Twilight softly. “I expected that once we were fused together, things would just sort of work themselves out. But… but they haven’t… ”

“An there’s no going back I suppose,” said Applejack, her ears drooping a little. Twilight shook her head.

“I could go back to being just me,” said Twilight, wiping away some of the tears that had returned to her eyes. “But Dash…” she shook her head. “This is the only way she can... stay.”

“So what’ca all gona do now?” asked Applejack.

“I need to get Dash to understand,” said Twilight. “As long as she keeps fighting against me, things will just keep getting worse. She has to see that this is the only way. She has to know that I did this for her, that I didn’t have any other choice.”

“And how do we get her to understand?” asked Applejack. {4}

“I don’t know,” said Twilight. She pawed at the ground with a nervous hoof. “I told her what happened but I think it just made things worse. How do you make somepony understand something that they can’t understand?”

“Twilight,” said Applejack with a smile, “I don’t understand half the things you say most of the time. But that doesn’t mean I ain’t listening. If we can find Dash an talk to her, maybe we can help her. Maybe we can help you both sort out this mess.

“I think what we have’ta do now is find her,” said Applejack confidently.

Taking a glance around, Applejack really looked at Ponyville for the first time since she had arrived. The buildings were familiar, although she couldn’t put names to them. She recognized the street, but didn’t know where it was. This place was like the best parts of Ponyville taken and all mashed up together.

“Uh, how exactly do we find Dash?” asked Applejack. “Ya think she’s up in the sky some place?”

Shading her eyes, Applejack glanced skyward. The bright sun hung at its pinnacle. It hadn’t moved since Applejack had arrived. Large concentric rings of clouds encircled the sun so that there was very little sky to be seen. She searched the clouds and what little sky there was, but if Dash was somewhere up there, Applejack couldn’t spot her.

“I’m not sure where she is,” said Twilight with a shake of her head. “I’ve never been able to find her, no matter how much I look. I think she has to be the one to come to me.”

Applejack turned her gaze down to Rainbow. The little filly was watching them with impassive eyes. She seemed to be listening to the conversation but whether or not she was paying attention, Applejack didn’t know.

“So you ain’t Dash than?” asked Applejack. The filly shook her head. “And you’re not Twilight either?” Again, the filly shook her head. “If you’re in Twilights mind why don’t you look like her? Why ain’t you a little Twilight?” {5}

“Why aren’t you?” replied the filly.

“Cause, I ain’t her?” said Applejack confused.

“And neither am I,” answered the filly.

“That didn’t explain anything!” said Applejack with a shake of her head.

“Yeah, she does that,” said Twilight, slowly working her way back to her feet.

“So if you ain’t Dash and you ain’t Twilight…” asked Applejack.

“I’m Rainbow,” said the filly with a smile.

“Uh-huh…” said Applejack. “Look, can you take us to Dash? I might be able to get her to listen but you have to show me where she is.”

“Yeah, no problem!” said Rainbow excitedly. “But I don’t think you’ll be able to get through to her.” Applejack nodded. If nothing else she had to try.

The filly galloped off ahead of them, leading the way. Applejack’s eyes followed the little Rainbow before turning back to Twilight..

“What is that thing?” asked Applejack when the filly had run out of hearing range. {6}

“I think she’s Dash’s memories,” answered Twilight. The lavender mare began to trot slowly after the little filly.

“She’s what?” exclaimed Applejack, stunned by Twilight’s answer. Applejack galloped a little to catch up to her friend before falling in along side her at a trot.

“She’s the memories of the things that are most important to Dash,” continued Twilight. “I think she gave them to me, to protect and to remember for her. Dash has a part of me too. Something that I wanted her to have. Something I wanted her to keep safe.”

“And what’s that?” asked Applejack. Twilight looked away and whispered something. “Sorry, what was that sugarcube.”

“My life,” said Twilight. Applejack stopped walking and stared at Twilight.

“You… you don’t mean to sacrifice yourself, do you?” asked Applejack. {7}

“I would give anything for my friends,” said Twilight. “I would do anything to keep them safe. If I have to go away so that Dash can stay, then I will.” Applejack was surprised by the determination in Twilight’s voice.

“Twilight…” said Applejack sadly. Twilight shook her head.

“We should keep moving, that little filly has a way of running off,” said Twilight, quickly ending the discussion on the subject. She looked away from Applejack and trotted on ahead.

Several minutes passed in silence as they followed the filly through not-Ponyville. Applejack wasn’t sure, but she thought that they should have easily reached their destination by now. After all, Ponyville wasn’t that big. Yet it seemed to stretch on forever. And was that the third time they had passed Sugarcube Corner?

“Twilight,” said Applejack, breaking the silence. “What happens if you stay like this?” Twilight glanced back at Applejack, but looked away before answering.

“I can only guess, since nopony has ever come this far before. I can think of several possible outcomes. Firstly, we stay just like we are, semi-separate while we’re asleep, combined while we’re awake. Not Twilight and not Dash but some amalgamation of the two, a new pony with our thoughts and memories, but not us, not really.

“That’s what the spell should have done, how it’s supposed to work but I guess I did something wrong, because that’s not how it is. In any case, that seems very unlikely given the current state of things.” The ground trembled slightly under hoof as if to emphasize her point.

“Secondly, one of us goes away, either becoming so quiet in the other’s mind that it’s like we aren’t even there… or that we really aren’t there at all.” Twilight shivered at this thought. “We just fade away like we never were. Whoever is left would exist in our fused body… I’m not sure what that would be like, but I don’t want to find out…

“Thirdly, our mind is unable to cope with the stress of having two ponies inside it, thinking different thoughts at the same time, and we descend into madness.” The world shook again and the clouds overhead wrapped tighter around the sun. “Which is what I think is happening right now.” Twilight added as she looked up.

“Our body will be unable to sustain us, unable to function properly and we’ll…” Twilight couldn’t finish her thought, but she didn’t need to. Applejack had already seen what was happening to them outside of this place.

“There is one more option in there, isn’t there?” asked Applejack, picking up that Twilight had used the word ‘thirdly’ instead of ‘lastly.’

“There could be a lot more options I haven’t considered,” answered Twilight evasively. “But the spell has never worked before, so I just don’t know.”

“Where did you learn this spell anyhow?” asked Applejack. The question had been nagging at the back of her mind since Celestia had told them about it. {8}

“From Celestia of course,” said Twilight.

“An, did she tell you what happened to the two ponies who tried before? Stars something and Wind?” asked Applejack.

“Aurora Wind and Silver Stars?” said Twilight. “Yes, of course. Celestia told me what happened to them when she taught me the spell. She warned me never, ever, to use it on another pony… but I didn’t have another choice…

“Applejack,” Twilight asked after a moment of silence. “Did I… did I do the right thing? Is any of this worth the pain its caused everypony?”

“I don’t know sugarcube,” said Applejack, her eyes a little sad. Twilight’s ears drooped. “I can’t say what I would’ve done in your situation. But I don’t got no magic. So I can’t rightly say.”

“Is… is Celestia mad at me?” asked Twilight. She had stopped walking.

“I don’t think so,” said Applejack. “Concerned for sure, but I don’t think she’s mad.”

“Are you… do you hate me?” asked Twilight, her big round eyes looking pleadingly at Applejack. {9}

“Oh sugarcube,” said Applejack with a smile. She moved to her friend and gave her an affectionate nuzzle. “No, no I don’t hate you at all! Why would you think that?”

“Because,” said Twilight, she looked away. “Because in the hospital, when Celestia asked you to choose, you picked Rainbow…” Applejack pulled back with a start of surprise. “So did Rarity…”

“Twilight…” said Applejack.

“Why?” said Twilight, tears rolling down her face. “Why didn’t you pick me? Don’t you like me?”

“That was a awful thing the princess asked of us,” said Applejack looking away and shivering. “It was the worst thing I’ve ever had to do in my whole life. How could I pick, how could I choose? They left it all up to me! How is that fair?” shouted Applejack. Streaks of tears ran down Applejacks face.

Twilight waited expectantly.

“I didn’t know then what I know now,” said Applejack softly. “I thought… I thought you had done this for selfish reasons. I thought you had forced this on Dash without considering how she would feel.” Twilight opened her mouth to protest but Applejack kept going, not giving her the chance. “I thought a lot of things, things I didn’t want to believe, but they were the only things I knew.

“But they were wrong. You’ve done the bravest thing I’ve ever seen. Twilight, can you ever forgive me?”

Twilight looked at Applejack, her expression unreadable for a long moment. Then she rushed to her friend and hugged her tightly.

“Yes,” whispered Twilight. “Yes I can.”

“Hey! Are you two going to hug all-day-long or what?” shouted the filly standing ahead of them. Twilight and Applejack pulled apart slowly, both smiling just a little at the other.

The horns below were still moving and churning. For the moment the two ponies high above seemed safe and out of reach. Fluttershy was still holding Dash in her forelegs and the sky-blue mare was still holding her back, crying softly against her chest.

Fluttershy couldn’t believe what her friend had just told her. The words echoed in her thoughts. Dash was… she had… no. It was too horrible even to contemplate.

“But… you’re here,” said Fluttershy to the top of Dash’s head. “You can’t be… you aren’t… not if you’re here. Because if you were… you know… then where are we? I’m not, um… d-dead too… am I?” {10}

“I don’t know,” said Dash. “I remember it happening but... but then there was a lot of nothing. I don’t know if you’re dead but I don’t think it felt like this… because this feels like something and that felt like nothing.” {11}

There was a long moment of silence while the two ponies hovered in the air. Well, in truth, Fluttershy was hovering and holding Dash, who wouldn’t flap her wings.

Dash kept looking down at the grinding horns below and Fluttershy kept trying to look anywhere else. She didn’t like the way Dash was staring at the horns. It gave her the same strange feeling she’d had right before Dash had tried to go into the library, right before the spikes had first appeared.

“Dash?” asked Fluttershy softly. Her words pulled Dash’s pink eyes away from the horns below. “Why are you afraid of me?” {12}

Dash looked away.

“It hurts to remember you,” said Dash. “Whenever I look at you, whenever I try to put a name to your face,” Dash looked Fluttershy in the eyes and winced, then looked away, “it hurts. It hurts like there’s a hole in my heart. And I don’t want to keep feeling that.”

“Is it because… Do you… do you hate me…?” asked Fluttershy, her eyes starting to well-up with tears.

“No… no, I don’t hate you…” said Dash, stressing the last word.

“Do you hate Twilight?” asked Fluttershy. The yellow pegasus was not prepared for Dash’s reaction. {13}

“Yes!” screamed Dash, her face contorted in anger. “I know what Twilight did! And I hate her for it!”

“Is she the reason you’re d…” asked Fluttershy, unable to finish her sentence, her eyes widening in horror. “She didn’t… kill you, did she?” {14}

“What?” asked Dash, taken aback by the question. “No! She gave herself up for me! She sacrificed herself so that I could stay! I didn’t ask her to do that! I didn’t want her to do that!

“I shouldn’t be here,” said Dash. “Twilight never should have done this.” Dash began to struggle against Fluttershy, trying to get loose.

“Dash! Stop!” pleaded Fluttershy, trying to hold onto her.

“I don’t want Twilight to have to live this way because of me!” {15}

A final flail and Dash slipped free of Fluttershy’s grasp. She began to plummet, racing down towards her waiting doom below.

Fluttershy didn’t think, she didn’t consider, she acted. Her whole body turned in the air and she dived, racing down through the night. Dash was ahead of her, falling impossibly fast. The horns gnashed below, awaiting their willing victim.

Fluttershy wasn’t going to make it, she simply wasn’t fast enough. She was reaching out her foreleg to Dash, stretching as far as the limb would go, but the other pony just wouldn’t take it.

“Please!” Fluttershy pleaded, reaching even further, trying to grab Dash.

“I’m sorry,” whispered Dash, her words clearly audible as if she were whispering them in Fluttershy’s ear. “Don’t hate me Fluttershy.”

The horns opened in a gaping maw. Dash fell right through the center, swallowed up by the darkness inside. Just as quickly as it had opened, the horns began to close. Fluttershy didn’t stop. She raced through, barely squeezing between the points as they closed behind her.

Their destination, as it turned out, was Twilight’s tree house library. Applejack stared at it uncertainly. This was not the first time she had been to this building today, both in this dream-place and in the real world. Why did it keep popping up? She voiced the question to Twilight.

“You know what, I’ve noticed that too,” said Twilight thoughtfully. Her eyes swept across the house as if looking for the answer to be written on the outside. “I’ve now encountered this building no less then fifty times while I’ve been here.”

“What?” exclaimed Applejack in surprise. Twilight nodded.

“It likes to hide from me but, eventually, every building I approach in Ponyville turns into this building when I get close enough. It must mean something, it must have some significance…” said Twilight aloud.

“Nah, it’s not important,” said Rainbow.

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” said Twilight.

“Now wait just a gosh darn minute!” shouted Applejack. Both Twilight and the filly-Rainbow looked at her in surprise. “Y’all just goin’ to give up like that? The Twilight I know would get to the bottom of this! Of course this is important! Why else would you keep coming across it?”

“She does have a point,” said Twilight to the little filly. Rainbow shrugged. Twilight’s attention focused on the library. She looked like she was really struggling to think, her eyes narrowed in concentration.

“Well…” said Twilight slowly. “I do have a theory…”

“A theory is good,” encouraged Applejack. Twilight’s theories were usually better than most ponies’ facts.

“I think this house is following me,” said Twilight with a nod. “There must be a book I haven’t returned.” Applejack let her head drop into her hoof. Then again, sometimes Twilight was just as wrong as everypony else. “Either that or it’s possibly a subconscious manifestation of the bridge between my mind and Dash’s. The locked door, that I’m continually unable to get through, might signify some sort of desire of Dash to keep me out or keep us separate.” she added after a moment. “But I think the overdue book is much more likely.”

“You mean this house leads to Dash?” asked Applejack.

“Or a very overdue book,” Twilight reminded her.

“I’ll take my chances,” said Applejack. Moving forward, Applejack pressed a hoof against the door. It didn’t move. She pushed harder but for all the good it did, the door might have just as well been a solid wall.

“Did you try turning the knob?” added Twilight helpfully.

“Yes,” said Applejack with a grunt as she rammed her shoulder against the door. It wasn’t just locked. It was sealed shut. Whatever was on the other side, overdue book or not, it didn’t seem like she would be able to get through this way.

“Maybe it’s locked. Did you check to see if it’s locked?”

“Yes!” said Applejack more harshly than she had meant. Leaving the door alone for a moment, Applejack trotted along the side of the building to where there was a window. Holding up a hoof to her eyes to shade out the sun, she looked in through the glass.

She was not prepared for what she saw on the other side. It was not Twilight’s house beyond the glass, it was a whole world! Applejack couldn’t take all of it in. She didn’t understand what she was seeing.

The ground was made of moving spikes that rose and fell in waves. The sky was dark, as if it were night time. The giant moon seemed to confirm that assumption. And falling down out of the dark sky, moonlight streaming around them and making them glow like tiny stars, were two ponies. Two ponies that she knew. Two ponies that looked like they were in trouble.

Applejack charged back to the door, slamming into it again with renewed urgency.

“What’s wrong?” asked Twilight, seeing Applejack’s sudden panic.

“Its Dash and Fluttershy!” shouted Applejack. “Something’s wrong! You gotta help me!”

“Did you try pulling it? I can’t remember if you push or pull that door. That’s always really confusing!”

“I didn’t mean give me more dumb suggestions!” shouted Applejack. “I meant use your magic… Wait…” Applejack suddenly paused in her efforts to get through the door and looked at Twilight in confusion. “What did you just say?”

“What? Did pulling work?” asked Twilight, looking slightly pleased. “I really should get a sign that says pull.”

“Twilight… what’s wrong with you?” asked Applejack.

“What? Do I have something on my face?” Twilight asked in a panic. The world shuttered again. Suddenly the sun high above blinked out of existence, leaving a huge circle of empty blue sky. However, even with the sun gone, it still appeared to be day time. The clouds closed into the gap left by the sun, sealing off the pale blue sky completely.

“What’s happening?” cried Applejack, her eyes getting wide. “Twilight what’s going on!” Twilight looked at Applejack with sad eyes.

“The end,” whispered Twilight. “I think… this is the end…”

“Dang it!” Applejack shouted. She charged back to the door, ramming it hard with her shoulder. In the distance they could hear buildings collapsing. The world was rolling in on itself. In a moment this place would be no more and Twilight would go with it.

Turning desperately, Applejack bucked hard at the door. The wood groaned under the force, but held. Applejack kicked again, putting all she had into the kick. If the door had been a tree, it would have splintered apart.

“Applejack,” whispered Twilight. The lavender mare was looking away from Applejack as she spoke, watching the rolling darkness approach along the horizon. Applejack kicked again and again, but the door wouldn’t give. “I just want you to know how happy you made me. How happy all my friends made me.”

Twilight turned to look at Applejack, smiling sadly. Then the darkness swallowed her up and the world crumbled away.

In the moonlit Ponyville, the horns continued to turn and undulate against each other. The world shuttered and high above the moon flickered in the sky. The stars spoke in an echoing voice but their words were impossible to make out. Then the sound was gone and the moon returned. Only the low groan of the horns grinding against each other filled the air.

With an ear piercing whine the horns ground to a halt, frozen like a sea of stalagmites. Their sharp points gleamed under the glow of the moon.

Then suddenly, they shuttered as a massive explosion of the colors red and yellow and orange and green and blue, erupted outwards in a massive shockwave. A rainbow fire shot out of the center, soaring high up into the night. At the leading end of the rainbow, racing into the sky, were two ponies.

“Fluttershy,” said Dash, her face wet with tears. “You… you pulled me back… why?”

Behind Fluttershy was the wake of a sonic rainboom. Her sonic rainboom, not Dash's. It blazed in the sky, spilling colors in every direction.

“I don’t hate you,” said Fluttershy as they soared ever higher. “And you shouldn’t hate anypony either, especially not yourself.” Dash smiled sadly.

Above them, the moon winked out of existence. The world faded away into blackness. There was no ground below, no stars above, it was just the two of them in infinite darkness. The only light came from the colors of the glowing rainbow that streaked out behind Fluttershy, although it was now only a few hooves long.

“I don’t want to fade away,” said Dash as she cuddled against her friend. “But I don’t want Twilight to have to do this for me.”

“Maybe you should ask what she wants,” said Fluttershy, “before you decide to give up on yourself.” Dash didn’t answer.

Then the light of the rainbow faded and night full and truly came.

Character Questions provided by:

{1} Arcane Howitzer
{2} JustPassingBy
{3} {6} EchoWolf31
{4} LulaMoonSparkle
{5} Someguy987
{7} Lemonpop
{8} Tchernobog
{9}{13} Hyperion
{10} Dusk Apollo
{11} The ghost
{12} Arikele
{14} Csquared08
{15} Tagan