WARNING: CONTAINS BONDAGE

Gai grabbed my hand, yanking me forcefully down towards the entrance of the throne room, Celestia’s guards at our heels.

“Halt! Halt in the name of the Solar Diarch!” The one at the head of the group commanded.

“Nope, don’t wanna,” Gai replied nonchalantly as the guards by the door began to tighten their formation.

“Wow, these guys actually think they have a chance in hell of stopping me,” Gai remarked as his free hand began to crackle with electricity, “Gokai Mjolnir!” he cried, smashing his fist into the ground and throwing up a plume of dust as the floor shattered.

“Do we really have to harm them? I kinda pity them, I feel like I am kicking a puppy, the princesses expect so much of them when they, themselves, are so much more capable.” I asked

“Please, if they couldn’t handle us serving their flanks to them on a silver platter, then they’ve got no business being in this profession.” Gai said as he grabbed me bridal style and leaped over a guard, using the top of his head as a stepping stone.

“Whoa, b-baka, what are you doing!? I can jump just fine!” I exclaimed

“Don’t tell me you’re not enjoying this just a little, hime-sama,” Gai teased, grinning.

“Perhaps if Luna took your place, I might like it!” I complained.

“So cold hime-sama, you remind me of my little sister back home!” Gai said, a look of mock despair on his face.

“Is your sister a pony or a human or somewhere in between?” I asked genuinely curious.

“I was referring -whoops! To my sister back on earth, I called her ‘Ice Queen’ for a reason,” Gai said, ducking through a series of spear swings as more guards appeared.

“Perhaps you can warm her cold heart with a warm island song!” I respond snickering.

“Heh, not likely. How are you with heights?”

“Please, I wouldn’t be much of an archer or a sniper if- Ahh! What are you doing, Baka!?” I screamed as I was suddenly hurled into the air at near terminal velocity, unable to gain control of my flight, Gai fighting his way through a group of guards below me, snapping spears and slamming his fists into muzzles. I would have fallen, if I hadn’t started floating in mid air, well this is new. I felt a tug on my belt and saw a silvery wire attached to a weight wrapped around my belt. I followed the line to see Gai holding the other end.

“Nice weather for flying a kite, eh kouhai?” He remarked as he planted another kick into a guard’s chest plate.

“Oh you motherfucker, you did not just turn me into a kite!” I growled at the smirking pirate, the royal guards froze in awe and confusion.

“What? You mooks never seen a wingless, flying girl before? Pay attention!” Gai said as he proceeded to bitch slap his way through the stunned guards.

I sat down in mid air, grumbling something about a certain silver pirate, things which shouldn’t be repeated in polite company.

“Ooooh, you should really get into a fight with Navi, you’ll pick up some new vocabulary that way!” Gai said in a patronizing tone.

“As if I’d waste precious thought processes on insulting a pirate.”

“You just did though ...” Gai muttered.

“So are we actually going to do something productive or are we just going to be bitch slapping the hired help?” I asked changing the subject.

“Tired of kite-flying? So impatient, kouhai!” Gai said smugly, yanking the wire and pulling me down as fast as I had gone up, landing bridal style again.

“Well when you’re the kite, it’s not really fun. And do you mind putting me down? I don’t want Luna getting the wrong idea.” I deadpanned.

“Boo, fine,” Gai said, setting me down in the middle of the crowd of guards, “gentlemen, it’s been fun.”

“Now let’s do some flipping!” I exclaimed as I repeatedly did backflips away from the guards.

“I think I’ll use my apprentice’s special suit this time!” Gai said as he pulled out the box-like object and a purple figurine, “Gokai Change!”

Deka Zero!

In a flash of purple light, Gai was standing in a violet suit, a purple breastplate with multiple vents emitting super hot, hissing steam. Similarly colored braces and shin guards were on his arms and legs, a large, black zero on his torso. His helmet was designed so that it looked like upswept bat wings were on either side, flashing red lights in either side. His helmet had a bronze police badge sitting on the crown of his head, a black visor underneath.

“Echoing light and darkness, judgement has come! SPD’s hell bat! Deka Zero!” The sirens on both sides of his head flashed twice, a police siren emitting from them. With a flick of his wrists, a set of curved claws unfolded from his bracers, “let’s make this showy!”

Gai charged into the crowd of guards, floating on a cushion of steam, slashing with his claws, neatly severing swords and spears alike.

“If we end up having to defend equestria because you disarmed all the guards, I am not going to be happy.” I said,

“It’s either that or I start severing heads! Besides magic is a thing here, so I’m sure repairs won’t be much of a problem.”

“You ever here of a retreat before Gai?” I asked crossing my arms

“You’re the one who said ‘let’s do some flipping’!” Gai retorted, flipping a guard like a pancake.

“Yes, flipping away! You know, a backflipping retreat? I wish I had my phone with me I could show you.”

“Fine!” Gai groused as he snapped his fingers and a portal opened up under us, Gai detransformed and waved at the stunned guards, “well gentlecolts, it’s been a real slice!” He said, pointing to their neatly cut weapons, “do try and repair them quickly, my kouhai really doesn’t want to do your jobs for you.”

To punctuate Gai’s words row of swords stabbed into the ground blocking the guards’ route. “That should hold them a while, while they play ‘the sword in the stone’” I said, smirking at the guards who were now nervously pulling at their collars.

“I would say you’re running out of sharp, pointy objects, but you have swords for days, don’t you?” Gai deadpanned as we fell through the portal.

“Try eons!” I exclaimed, all too cheerfully tilting my head to the side and letting out a little giggle.

“Kowaii desu ne ...” Gai mumbled as we landed in Starswirl’s lab.

“I am known as the Blacksmith heroine after all!” I replied.

“Right, help me look through here. I have a theory, but I need some evidence to back it up.” Gai said, sifting through the deceased wizard’s belongings.

I looked over the room analysing everything in my sight, I spotted a book lodged under some rubble and went to pick it up, lifting the ruined stone off it, I picked the book up and dusted the cover with my right hand. The book looked like Starswirl’s diary.

“What do you have there?” Gai asked, taking the book and speed reading through it’s contents, stopping at a certain page.

“It’s Starswirl’s Diary, I remember it from the show, it contains the spell that Twilight must complete to become an alicorn, barring other methods. If I’m here I wouldn’t be surprised if Seihai-kun is here too.” I explained giving a shrug.

“Well, I guess we know why the spell was incomplete now … and the reason why things played out this way.” Gai muttered, turning a few more pages.

“Except that also means discord isn’t dead, well that’s just great I am not looking forward to that asshole returning.”

“Not necessarily, people like us are pretty big butterflies, if you catch my meaning.”

“Yes, because minor reality warping and continental destruction is on my to-do list.” I responded sarcastically.

“What I mean is that our influence has already altered this world’s future. For all we know, Starswirl could’ve become Discord or King Sombra, and we just removed him from the timeline.” Gai said, his face grim.

“Well I gathered I would have some kind of effect but I honestly doubted it’d be as big as you say it is. Although deicide is kinda big.” I said as I paced, “Hmmm I wonder if I’ll end up as Twilight’s ancestor or any of the mane six?”

Gai remained silent, staring intently at the contents of Starswirl’s journal.

“I know for a fact Starswirl was meddling with time travel in the og timeline.”

“That’s not it, you don’t want to know why he was so dead set on vivisecting you?”

“Consider my curiosity piqued Gai, so spill what’s so horrible about that book, is it the pony necronomicon or something?” I asked him.

Gai rubbed the bridge of his nose, “I only wish this was that harmless, but for you to fully grasp the implications of this, you need to know what exactly we are.”

He looked up at me, “what do you remember right before you awoke in this world?”

“A reject from Resident Evil’s gallery of creepy merchants sold me Kanshou and Bakuya and the pendant that belonged to Tohsaka Rin, the master of the character I was cosplaying as, and now Luna holds it. I then blacked out and found myself in this body, the wrong gender.” I explained.

“Seems pretty standard, was there anyone with you at the time aside from the Merchant?” Gai asked, rubbing his chin.

“A couple of friends came with me, one cosplayed as Shiroe, the Villain in Glasses, another cosplayed as Kirito(I just know he’s gonna get a harem of ponies if he ends up in Equestria) and my childhood friend who came as Madoka” I smirked, “if she became Madoka I feel sorry for anyone who is her enemy. Friggin overly cute magical girl with god like power.”

“Well, if they weren’t with you when you bought your stuff, it’s not likely you’ll see them anytime soon. Sorry,” Gai said, pulling out his gun/trident, “this is what I ‘bought’, the Gokai Spear.”

“Meh they were far behind me, I’ll probably find them eventually. But we have bigger problems on our hands than being misplaced.”

“What are the odds ...” Gai muttered, “what you said was half-right, we’re what’s known as ‘Displaced’, short for ‘Dimensionally Misplaced’. The Merchant you met was a Displacer, a void dweller who rips beings from their world and transplants them in another one.”

“When you say void do you mean like Artorias the void walker or do you mean the stuff from the cthulhu mythos?”

“I mean the space between dimensions in the multiverse. Welcome to the club, kouhai. You get all the power you could ever dream of, at the cost of never going home again, as well as whatever else you got gypped for when you made a deal with the Merchant.” Gai said, a sad smile on his face.

“Heh I think he got gypped then I only gave him fifty bucks.”

“You got lucky, mine didn’t take something as trivial as money. He took my ability to cook food that tastes good.”

“Oh well, at least others can cook for you.” I tried to sound conciliatory.

Gai shot me a deadpan look, “don’t patronize me, kouhai. Point is, there’s no guarantee your friends got Displaced as well, or if they’re even in the same world as you. But the one constant is that the old you, is dead. You can never go home. They won’t let you.”

“To be honest my home wasn’t all that great, and being an orphan I don’t particularly have family to return to, the thing about my friends is sad, but ultimately a fact of life, I hope one day we can meet again. But right now I am living the brony dream, if only a few thousand years too early.”

“Heh, there’s that optimism again, I guess it’s not bad, especially now. Anyways, I should probably explain about one of the few abilities all Displaced have in common: tokens.” Gai said, slipping into college professor mode, “do you still have that key you used to summon me here?”

I open my inventory and retrieve the token, and held it up to show Gai, “You mean this?” I asked.

“Yep, that there’s my token. Displaced contain huge amounts of dimensional energy, part of the reason why multiverse travel is relatively harmless to us, a token is an object that’s filled with a small piece of that energy that the Displaced infuses into it.” He snapped his fingers and a portal to the void appeared.

“Hmmn, Trace on!” I called out projecting my bow, “Let me see if I got this right!” I said concentrating on my bow reinforcing it with a strange energy I found within myself.

“I am Archer. Servant of Princess Luna and Hero of Justice, for all the downtrodden and those without hope, grasp my bow, draw the string and let fly your call for help. I’ll defend you. However if you, who call upon me, have malicious intent, then know that I will slay you!” I finished speaking and bent down and threw my bow up, it scattered and disappeared into the void I could feel it divide into countless copies.

“Probably should’ve added some safeguards against the Displaced with malicious intent, there are bad ones out there you know, and now any one of them can summon you.” Gai said as the portal snapped shut, “I have one word of advice for you as your senpai: if you run into a Displaced calling himself Basco ta Jolokia, do yourself a favor and run. Take Luna with you and run as far and as fast as you can before calling me.”

“And who is that?” I asked.

“Someone who will only appear after he’s found a surefire strategy to kill you, then he’ll absorb your energy and grow stronger. He’s already done it five times.” Gai growled, ungodly rage in his eyes.

“Well I guess I know who Black Fog is, for now,” I said.

“Exactly, now on to Mister Hannibal Lecter pony ...” Gai muttered, turning to the book again, “it seems he somehow found out about the Displaced and wanted to artificially become one in order to achieve immortality.” He said, handing the book to me.

Inside were the ravings of a stallion who had gone well and truly mad, ranting on and on about “these beings of immense power who lord themselves over us as they watch our struggles from on high.” And, “I will become their equal in order to rip them from their thrones, to make the world safe for my students again.”

“Well if he thinks the Displaced are some sort of lords, he is well and truly small minded. I mean, look at me! I may be immortal, able to make reality my bitch to an extent, and able to do things he could only dream of, but that doesn’t make me a goddess, though I can’t blame him for thinking so,” I replied flipping my hair and laughing haughtily. I froze “Oh my goddess, did I get a bit of Tohsaka Rin as part of the deal or something!?”

“The operative word here is, yet. You haven’t decided to become a goddess, yet. After all, what doesn’t kill you just makes you stranger.” Gai said, watching me, “I had a friend once. We were Displaced together, you see. And one day he developed a God complex and stabbed me in the back.” Gai took the book from me, tearing out the pages pertaining to the Displaced, “there has been enough death due to our influence, I won’t allow any more.” And with that, he tossed the book aside, flames roaring to life in his free hand and burned the torn pages in the flames.

“Well if the guards didn’t know where we were before, they do now.”

“It does sound like there’s a few platoons on their way here, doesn’t it?” Gai said casually.

I groaned, “Can’t we get a break? I really want to go and find a place to make my super secret villain lair so I can hide from ‘Tia, no doubt after me for defiling her sister or some such nonsense,” I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Please, a life of conflict comes with the territory of being a Displaced.” He raised his gun, “cutlass mode,” he said, the voice command causing the barrel of the gun to extend, a blade of blue energy in the shape of a cutlass blade appearing.

I heard a shifting of rubble as I turned my head and my eyes fell on a horrified Clover’s face, “Something tell’s me Clover doesn’t understand sarcasm,” I deadpanned as I pointed my index finger at the wall.

“Oh, this isn’t gonna be fun ...” Gai muttered as Clover’s shocked expression turned into one of rage.

“Why …” Clover said, deathly quiet, “What grievance didst thou have with my master that you killed him!?”

“We had no choice, he was a threat to ponies everywhere! He was insane,” I declared, And Gai just destroyed the evidence. Fuck my life!

“Insane! How dare thou call my master a mad stallion!” Clover cried out, her horn flaring as she blasted a beam of violet light at us.

I dodged her beam and got behind the mare and whacked her on the back of the neck knocking her out. “Well that could have gone better, I hope you have a horn inhibitor or something in that fancy belt of yours.”

“Sorry, no such luck. And I don’t think outright severing her horn would win us any points either.” Gai said, picking up the unconscious mare.

“Damn, do think you can find one on the guards? Maybe if I see one, I could reproduce it?”

“I doubt it, the stallions coming don’t seem to be the kind that take prisoners, we’re probably going to be dealing with the proper military at this rate.”

“Do you know any memory erasing spells, and we can leave her here and plant evidence to trick her into thinking she hit her head?”

“Nah, I’ll just take her with us, getting away won’t be too hard,” he snapped his fingers, opening another portal, “especially when I can do that.”

“That isn’t what I am worried about. I am more worried that the first friend I made here thinks I am an evil mustache twirling villain.” I grimaced.

“You don’t have a mustache, and she won’t blame you for a thing. Not if I play my cards right.” Gai said, an evil grin on his face.

I sighed in exasperation, “I hope ponies invent aspirin soon ‘cause I can just tell this place is going to keep giving me headaches.”

“Oh, don’t be such a baby, you’re not the one ‘kidnapping’ a fully grown mare.”

Clover groaned as she awoke, her eyes cracking open slowly as she took in her surroundings.

She was in a cave somewhere, she realized as her eyes adjusted to the darker lighting, she tried to move, only to find her arms restrained by clawed arms fashioned from black crystal, two of them restraining each of her limbs, one of them holding her tail, and another holding her head firmly in place. She could feel a cold energy emanating from them.

“Wakey, wakey, poppet.” A sinister voice said from behind her, “it’s time to play.”

“Who goes there!” Clover cried, trying to turn her head, only to find it impossible to do so.

“Oh, thee doth not recall? Allow me to refresh thine memory, poppet.” The voice’s owner said as he stepped out from behind her.

Clover’s eyes widened in recognition, it was that other human! The one she saw in the lab along with Archer!

“You bastard!” she snarled, reaching for her magic, only to find none of it within her grasp.

The human chuckled, “apologies, poppet. But thee shalt find thine magic is quite useless whilst in my grasp. Tell me, what do you think thine master’s words were when he took his final breath?”

Clover strained against her bonds, gritting her teeth at the foul demon who dared even mention her master.

“Shall I tell thee?” He asked in a mocking tone, “they were pleas of mercy, I made him cry and beg for reprieve before I finally ended his suffering. The fool thou calleth ‘Archer’ couldst only watch as I tortured him endlessly, cowering behind her shield to protect Luna from my wrath.”

Tears streamed down Clover’s face as she heard the savage glee in her captor’s voice.

“Why…? What is the reason for this madness? My master was nothing but kind, only working for the betterment of Equestria!” She cried, her eyes filled with impotent rage.

“Why…?” The human said, as if truly shocked she would ask such a foolish question, “I did slay thine master to satisfy mine own boredom, poppet!” He drew close, whispering into her ear, “his screams of agony were delicious, as will yours, poppet.”

He drew back, a mad, sadistic smile slicing its way across his face, “but they shall not be simple screams of agony, oh no, I shall drag thou to the deepest pits of Tartarus and then to the heights of Heaven, repeating the process over and over until thou art nothing more than my slave, poppet.”

“No!” Clover cried as the human drew a dagger and used it to slowly cut open her blouse and bodice all in one fell swoop, her skirt falling soon after until she was completely bare.

“Ah, I had heard tales of thine beauty, but to see it with mine own eyes...” The human breathed, “I am glad to be the first to pluck such a delicate flower.”

Clover looked at him with a defiant glare, “you may take mine virtue, callus beast, but thou shalt never hath me!”

The sound of whistling wind was the only warning Clover got before blinding pain lanced through her side, “did I say thou couldst speak, slave?” The human said calmly tapping the riding crop he had just struck her with, “thine will is no longer yours, poppet.”

He bought the crop to her chin, using it to force her to meet his gaze, “thou art mine plaything, I shalt toy and play with thou until I see fit to consign thou to the rubbish heap!”

“This countenance,” he traced the end of the crop around her face, “these breasts,” the dug the crop into her nipple, drawing forth an involuntary moan from the lavender mare, “and finally...” he said, the relish clear in his voice as he traced a burning line with the end of the crop down her belly, ending right above her most private area.

“This hole is also mine!” He cried triumphantly, rubbing the end of the crop into Clover’s snatch, sending a wave of involuntary pleasure up her spine, “Oh? What’s this? For all thine prattle and defiance, this part of thou seems to be the most honest!” He withdrew the crop from her loins, bringing the now glistening end up to her muzzle, her scent permeating the air, “See?”

“Halt! Vile fiend, we hath finally found thee! Thine reign of terror ends here!” I called pointing Kanshou at Gai and then twisting and spinning Kanshou and Bakuya in a flourish, showing an impressive feat of skill, while internally cringing at the ham.

“Oh? If it isn’t the cowardly archer who could only watch as I tortured this slave’s former master!” Gai said, turning around and tossing the riding crop aside, “hast thou come to seek an end to your life as well?”

“As If thou couldst best me! Fiend, hath I not been protecting Luna from thy foul magics I couldst hath ended thine tyranny before Starswirl's untimely death!”

“Is that so?” Gai said, drawing his Gokai Spear in cutlass mode, “if that be sooth, then cometh at me and prove thine worth!”

I readied Kanshou and Bakuya, launching myself at Gai the dust kicking up from my leap. I brought Kanshou and Bakuya down on him,

“Ossoi! Gokai Mjolnir!” Gai cried as he parried my blades, slamming his fist into my stomach , sending me flying out of the cave.

Glad I reinforced my body at the last second before I took his hit, I used the momentum and flipped to face him landing on my feet, Gai charged outside to continue attacking me, I threw Kanshou and Bakuya and Traced another pair and threw them at him as well finally I traced another pair of the twin swords and then crossed them behind my back, they grew in length and size straightening as the back edges grew crystal like spikes as several lances of blue light streaked out of the cave, striking the blades out of the air as I slashed down with Kanshou and Bakuya overedge. Slicing down his sides.

“Sorry to disappoint, kouhai.” Gai said, electricity crackling around him as I noticed the blades were being held back by magnetic force, “but you’re gonna need to try harder than that.”

I released my swords letting them fade and aimed my index fingers at him and shouted “Gandr,” red balls of dark energy built up at the tips and hit him in the chest knocking him back.

“Omoshire….” He muttered, raising his left arm and revealing the bronze shackle I had seen earlier, “guess I better start taking you a bit more seriously, huh?” With a twist, the shackle fell off his wrist, landing on the ground with a heavy thunking noise.

I crouched tracing Kanshou and Bakuya again “I am the bone of my sword!” I started the chant od flooded my magic circuits,

“Mou ossoi!” He cried as he suddenly appeared in front of me, driving his free fist into my face.

I dodged out of the way continuing my chant “Steel is my body and fire is my blood.”

“Gokai Revenant!” He cried, a field of dark energy expanding around him and reaching me, holding me in place. I shouted “Rho Aias! I have created over a thousand blades,”

“Ossoi, ossoi, ossoi!” Gai said as he flash stepped in, slashing through the barrier and landing a clean cut on my stomach.

I grinned, and slashed at Gai “Not know to life, nor known to death, Have withstood pain to create many weapons!”

Gai’s blade became a blur as he slashed at me faster than my eyes could track.

I parried each strike before taking a kick to the stomach sending me back into the cave, I recovered my footing though I faltered.

“Ah, I believed thou wouldst at least entertain me, if even for a short while little archer,” Gai said, strutting back into the cave and snapping the shackle back onto his wrist, “perhaps I shall make thou mine concubine as well?”

I stood up revealing the gash in my chest healed, filled with interlinked swords, “ And yet these hands will never hold anything, and so as I pray, Unlimited blade works, Fire burst out around me taking myself, Clover and Gai into my world. I chuckled “I think you remember the rules of this place,” I asked as blades rose into the sky.

“This again? Thou must obtain some new parlor tricks, little archer.” Gai said as he pulled out a green figure and the black box, “Gokai Change!”

SHUUUUUUUURIKENGER!!!!

After a flash of green light, Gai stood in a green suit with a gold breastplate, as star-shaped visor on his helmet.

“Oh trust me I do have new tricks, Trace on!” I projected a copy of his suit onto myself, I walked over to a trident that was stabbed into the ground. “So boya, art thou ready to face yourself?”

“Thou may have copied mine armor, but thou doth not know it’s secrets.” Gai said smugly.

I made a buzzer noise “Wrong boya unlimited blade works lets me copy and store any melee weapon it’s history and it’s uses meaning I have their secrets and your moves.”

“‘Tis a fortune that I am not using mine own moves then, chou ninpo! Bunshin no Jutsu!” Gai said as he folded his hands into a handsign, numerous copies of him appearing all over the landscape.

A hail of blades rained on his clones, “forgetting something?” I asked sweetly as I twirled his trident in my hands.

Suddenly, the Gai in front of me erupted into a cloud of smoke, revealing a straw dummy with a piece of paper over it’s head with the kanji for ‘too bad!’ written on it.

“Chou ninpo! Kage no mai!” Gai’s voice cried as numerous shadows appeared around me, each of them laying into me with a flurry of kicks and sword slashes.

Using past experience I predict his moves and dodge them, though it is difficult with this many, some hits land, “Gokai shooting star Mark tsu!” I shout as I place Gai’s token into the spear And multiple copies of the spear appear around me in a ring and fire outwards hitting every clone and I throw the main spear at Gai, who erupted from the ground behind me, barely managing to block the final spear with his blade.

“‘Tis not very kind of thou to turn one’s own weapon against them, little archer.” He teased.

“It can’t be helped, the moment I see a weapon I automatically record it. The only exceptions are guns and more modern mobile weapons.

“Well then… Gokai Change!”

TIIIIIIIIIME RANGER!!!

A flash of red light and now Gai stood in a red and black suit with a scarlet arrow as a visor.

“DV Defender!” He cried, pulling the gun out of his belt and firing several scarlet laser bolts at me.

I tried deflecting them with Kanshou and Bakuya hoping their anti magic resistance would aid me against the blasts, two blasts were stopped but at the cost of the swords breaking.

“Oh, did I break thine toys? My deepest apologies little archer.” Gai said, sarcasm dripping from his voice.

I smirked as I retraced Kanshou and Bakuya, “That’s okay I can just make more!”

“Enough of this, I have played with thou long enough! Gokai Gaia Hand!” At his command, several arms made of stone grabbing at my limbs, attempting to restrain my movement.

I sent blades through the hands, destroying them “Rho Aias!” I put up one last defense.

“Ossoi, kouhai.” Gai said, suddenly behind me as his elbow slammed into the back of my head, sending me hurtling several yards.

“I am getting real tired of this shit!”

“Now, now, such language is quite unbecoming of a lady, especially one who shall soon become my concubine along with this other delicate flower.” Gai said as he detransformed and caressed Clover’s cheek, drawing a shudder from her.

“I’d sooner kill myself than let you touch me!”

“Oh? But thou art immortal, are you not? As long as your ‘master’ lives, so shall thou. Do not worry, she’s next.”

I took up a red gem and muttered a few words under my breath for theatrics sake and I crush it causing a portal to open up behind Gai, causing him to stagger backwards towards the portal as winds began to whip up and he flailed helplessly.

“What is this!?” He roared, “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?”

“I seal thee now down to the depths of Tartarus (or Celestia’s closet)” I muttered, “there thou shalt forever lay! Luna gave me that in order to trap you when you let thine guard down!”

“ONORE! I SHALL RETURN, MARK MY WORDS FOR I SHALL RETURN, ARRRCHEEERR!!!” Gai roared, a look of livid fury on his face as he was slowly dragged bodily into the portal, the gateway snapping shut behind him.

“So let me see if I got this straight, you pretend to kidnap Clover and pretend to be an evil villain and I come and save her, is that about right? I suppose it might work, it never works in the anime series, then again, nobody's dumb enough to fall for this! If this works I’ll kiss Luna right in front of Celestia, a deep kiss, with lots of slurping noises.” I declared.

“I’m holding you to that.” Gai deadpanned.

“However if you do succeed you’ll have my gratitude, so appreciate it!” I added cheerfully, kuso! Why did I have to get infected by the original tsundere! This cannot be doing my image any good!

“Oh ye of little faith,” Gai chuckled, “when I’m done, she’ll think I’m the devil incarnate! That being said, there are a few things I need to teach you for your part in this little stage play.”

“And what is my part, then.”

Gai clapped his hands together, “why, you’re the exorcist that purges the horrible devil from this world of course!” He said all too cheerily.

“Oh goody I get to be the Hercule Satan of this little escapade I have no doubt it will be as cringeworthy as it is in that show.” I responded sarcastically.

“Please, the only one we have to convince is the unconscious - and admittedly hot - mare over there, piece of cake.”

“Her full name and title is Clover the Clever, not Clover the Stupid” I retorted.

“Exactly why this will be as realistic as possible,” Gai said, holding up a riding crop.

“Really?” I deadpanned

“Really,” Gai replied, “although I’m probably gonna feel really dirty after this...”

“You better not have a bridle in that void of yours” I eyed Gai suspiciously.

“Actually, I stole this crop from the guard barracks. Among… other things...” Gai said, shuddering slightly.

“You know what? I don't even want to know, why that was there in the first place, let's just carry on.” I responded, clearly unnerved about finding out about the kinks of the royal guard.

“Probably a good idea. Now, the first step to creating a working portal is...”

Gusts of wind erupted from Celestia’s closet, forcing the door open and startling Celestia and Luna, right before a silver-coated human came tumbling out, one of Celestia’s spare bodices clinging to his face.

“Ugh, that is the last time I play the sealed villain role!” He pulled the bodice off his face, marvelling at the cup size, “holy crap, they’re huge!”

“Ahem.”

“Shit...”

Gai looked behind him, still clutching the bodice, at the two alicorns glaring intensely at him, clad only in their nightgowns.

“What a time to not have a camera...” He muttered before the two sisters fell upon him.

The reality marble faded as I fell to my knees That bastard never said it would escalates so much, I ran out of abilities far too early, well at least ubw is good for learning new skills attached to weapons, otherwise we wouldn’t have pulled that off. Note to self, as I seem to be able to use other magic due to the Tohsaka Rin part of me, I can at least supplement my main skills. I just hope Celestia or more likely Luna don’t mind teaching me magic.

I got to my feet and made to limp over to Clover, Goddesses I feel numb all over. Why couldn’t I get the immunity to aches and pains?

“Clover art thou unharmed?” I asked as I limped over to her.

“Archer! Thank ye for saving me, I was afraid of what he might doeth to me hast thou came but a minute later!” Clover dove into my chest before yelping in pain.

“What is wrong thy chest ‘tis so hard, liketh metal!” Clover asked, concern coloring her voice.

I smiled “This is why Clover, I removed the suit, letting it fade, Clover gasped at the wound on my chest right down to my stomach, “My body is made out of swords it seems.” I chuckled and coughed, the swords moved with my breath at once looking like metal muscles and swords. “Though I’ll still need proper healing. If only I could see Avalon, then perhaps I could heal myself properly instead of the blade works protecting me like this.”

“Why wouldst thou wish to see The scabbard of Celestia’s mother!” Clover asked confused,
I looked at her, “What didst thou just say? Celestia’s mother had Excalibur!?”

Clover nodded, “Then surely you should know of it’s other name then, the sword of promised victory and it’s sheath the holy land of Avalon. Land of the fairies?” Another nod confirmed it.

“My old body. I had Avalon imbedded inside my body, to save my life, but it was removed and returned to its true owner. Artoria Pendragon after a war between magi.” I explained

“But, what would cause a war between mages.” Clover asked, scared of the answer I snorted “The Holy Grail, an impossible artifact that will grant the winner of the war a single wish using the heroic spirits of the defeated masters to fuel it. Both servants and masters have a wish which is granted. In Artoria’s case she wanted a do-over on her life to reset it so she could correct her past mistakes.”

“Wait thou knowst Celestia’s mother!?” Clover exclaimed My mind slipped a gear and I recoiled.

“Wait Artoria is Celestia’s mother!? Oh my goddesses this is going to so awkward.”

“Why?” Clover asked innocently.

“Because as a mortal human I dated Artoria, during that war.”

“WHAT!?” Clover exclaimed, deafening me in the process, She really needs to stop doing that, my poor sensitive ears can’t take it!

“Come on Clover let’s get back to the castle before Luna starts to worry that I’ve left her or Celestia goes nuts trying to hunt for us.” I said picking her up bridal style and grunting under the weight. “Perhaps having a few less cakes Clover, Celestia is bad enough!”

Clover’s face went so red I swear her coat color changed to crimson red.

After taking Clover to the infirmary and getting some quick dirty healing for myself I strolled around the castle, the royal guards shaking in their tin cans as I walked past them, tch Seems like word got around fast. I thought ruefully. I heard an explosion and darted off to where I found a suncrest on the doors, without ceremony I opened them to come upon a comical scene, Gai covered in lumps and bruises with Celestia and Luna standing over him in their nightgowns, a spare bodice clutched firmly in his grasp, hmph, now is as good a time as any.

I walked over to Luna wrapped my left arm around her waist and leant her back. As I kissed Luna, her pupils shrunk and a blush covered her face as a moan of pleasure escaped her throat, Luna’s mouth opened and I slipped my tongue inside caressing her’s as she returned the favor, we kept at it, making slurping noises as we swallowed each other’s excess saliva

“Sweet Celestia, I wish I had recorded that,” Gai groaned, pulling himself up into a sitting position, “I assume our plan worked and now Clover despises me?”

As the slurping noises finished and a red faced Luna was returned to her hooves, I responded “Yes it worked.”

“WHAT IN TARTARUS ART THOU DOING TO MINE SISTER!?” Celestia thundered, her mane igniting and smacking Gai into a wall as she stormed towards me.

“Why me…?” Gai groaned as he slowly pulled himself out of the wall.

“I kissed her, obviously. Didst thou not just see it? Thou wert close to it.” I responded in a deadpan, sarcastic tone.

“I can explain,” Gai said moaning as a white light from his palm was pressed against his bruises, healing them instantly.

“Then please enlighten us,” Celestia said testily, barely contained wrath in her voice.

“The short version Sunbutt,” this caused Celestia to inhale sharply, “is that we were attempting to salvage Archer’s friendship with Clover. She incorrectly associated her with Starswirl’s death when I am the one who did the deed.”

“To that end,” he continued, pacing around the room, “I posed as a villain who foalnapped Clover and held her captive. Archer,” he pointed at me, “came in to ‘rescue’ her and in doing so, sealed the malevolent being in Tartarus, or in other words, your private chambers.”

He stopped his pacing, “any questions?”

“Thou hast yet to answer mine inquiry, human.” Celestia drew closer, “why didst Archer commit such a lecherous act against mine sister’s virtue!?”

“Easily explained, lady Archer did not believe our deception would successfully shift Clover’s ire onto my shoulders, therefore we made a wager: if the plan succeeds, she would kiss your sister as deeply as a lover would, all in your presence.” Gai said, remaining calm as the now stunned solar diarch stood before him.

“I trust you won’t breathe a word of our deception to anypony, doing so will only bring about the worst case scenario.” Gai said, his gaze piercing into the souls of everyone in the room.

I know I am going to pay for this, but…

“Luna you are certainly a beautiful mare, I can see that Artoria’s daughter has inherited her good looks. And might I add a few other things I noticed.” I complimented Luna and licked my lips and then all tartarus broke loose.

“WHAT!? HOW DIDST THOU KNOW OUR MOTHER!?” Celestia screeched.

“Lessee here time works differently in other worlds, at least in theory, but I was a mortal a long time ago and summoned your mother during the fifth holy grail war. We worked together and eventually we fell in love, but it wasn’t meant to be. We parted, never to see each other again, but it seems she got her wish in the end. And started a new life that didn’t contain her previous mistakes.”

“Wait but how did you even find out about her being our mother?” Luna asked, curiosity winning over confusion.

“Well, Clover told me when I lamented that I no longer had Avalon implanted in my body to heal me.”

“WHAT!? Mother put Avalon inside your body.”

“Sunbutt, if you don’t stop yelling, I’ll show you exactly why I’m called the Silver Scourge!” Gai groaned, covering his ears, drawing a glare from the solar diarch.

“Oh no that was my adoptive father, he was Artoria’s master before I was, he used it to saved me from a great conflagration caused by the fourth holy grail war. What was left was a child that was empty, broken. Didn’t even know how to feel. But had extraordinary regeneration. Eventually I was dragged into the fifth war and by sheer coincidence accidently summoned her. I returned Avalon when we discovered it was inside me. Heh, she even called me her scabbard.” I explained wistfully.

“It was sad that she had to leave once the war was over. An unspecified time passed afterwards and I became a counter guardian, a being whose sole purpose was to kill threats to the survival of my species, whether or not they knew they caused it or not, I had no control, no freedom, no emotion and all I could do is watch as I became a weapon slaughtered thousands of people. ”I finished sitting on Celestia’s bed. Luna knocked me off my feet in a tackle hug, and I could hear her whimpering sobs.

Another set of tears falling caught my attention. Seeing Celestia cry was odd, Not once in the show save for when she had to banish Luna and when Luna returned did she cry.

“Well, this has gotten suitably awkward. Nice to see you, quite literally, kiss and make up.” Gai said, standing awkwardly with his arms crossed on the other side of the room.

“What do I have to do to send you home kaizoku no boya?” I asked Gai,

“Home?” two princesses asked in confusion.

“Suffice it to say, I’m from someplace even further than Archer.” He said, “but first...” He pulled a small, white, featureless figure from his coat and held it out to me, “can you put a sample of your DNA on this, kouhai?”

“If I must.” I sigh, cutting my finger with a small unnamed dagger and rubbed it on the figure.

“Care to explain what that was for, Gai?”

“It’ll be easier just to show you,” Gai said as he closed his eyes, the figure shining like a miniature sun, when the light faded, he was holding a miniature figure of me, “what I’ve essentially done is turn some of your essence into a Ranger Key. One I can use to manifest your own powers. Thanks for the donation.”

“Get ready to grow some tits and lose your dick then.”

“Nah, Ranger Keys take gender into account. Sorry, but no rule 63 for me!” He said cheerfully, tucking the key into his coat.

I put my hands on my hips “Turnabout is fair play, that portal spell and the items I copied don’t count.” I declared

“Wait copied items?” Luna asked tilting her head.

“Oh, I can copy and project any close range melee or defensive armament and reproduce it and the skills attached to them based on the history of the weapon. Through the law of contagion.”

“Basically, she made a copy of my Gokai Spear and Gokai Silver’s suit,” Gai explained, pulling the aforementioned spear and unfolding it to it’s full length.

I projected a copy of the same spear. “Only problem is they take Od to maintain as the world constantly fights the existence of items created like I just did, they also tend to be temporary.”

“You’ve literally got a whole world of blades to choose from, and now you have my Sentai Suit, why are you complaining again kouhai?”

“Because you saw how lacking it is and it reduces my tactical options, anyone would want to get any edge they can. On that note, Luna can you teach me magic from this world?” I asked, startling the mare in question.

“Oh um I guess,” Luna replied a finger stroking her lips, I grinned wide

“Thinking about our kiss, Master?” Luna blushed crimson as she stuttered trying to deny my accusation.

“If you’re so worried about armaments, then take this.” Gai said, pulling a scarlet flintlock out of his coat, tossing it to me.

“I was actually interested in the music box, but that works too.” I said taking the gun

“They can be fired continuously at one second intervals and don’t need to be reloaded, you can also insert my token into it to let loose a more powerful shot, about as strong as a tank’s main cannon by pressing the button under the barrel.”

“Good cause flintlocks are a pain in the ass to reload.”

“There’s also little to no shot deviation, so you won’t miss unless you’re a horrible shot.” Gai said, shrugging.

“Pft I can hit two people with one arrow from four kilometers away and see that far in perfect clarity.” I said puffing out my chest.

“Good, then you can teach your master how to shoot,” Gai said, tossing another flintlock to Celestia and Luna along with two blank keys, “I highly recommend you learn sooner rather than later Luna, you are your servant’s greatest weakness, after all.”

“Why are you giving us these ranger keys? I think you called them that, but again why?” Luna asked.

“Several reasons: one, if you die, so does Archer. Two: those keys are copies of my token, you can’t transform with them, but you can summon me by inserting them into any lock. And finally, you’ll be able to use the tank shot with those. You’ll find them more effective than magic and swords in most cases.” Gai explained.

“Hang on, can you pass me another blank key and show me your morpher, I want to try something it maybe awesome it make fail spectacularly, but it’s worth a try.” I asked

Gai handed the two items over, “what do you have planned?”

“Something crazy, that it’ll make Doc proud.” I said as I began to analyse the morpher it’s every component, it’s smallest attribute, “I am the bone of my sword, Trace on!” I created an projection of the morpher and I gave Gai his back, I used the remaining blood on my finger to morph the key into another Archer key.

“Now you might want to step back you guys, this could be explosive!” I said cheerfully.

I insert the new key into the traced Cellular and cross my arms, “Trace Change!” I shout, thrusting the Cellular up and out in front of me.

“GOOOOOOKAIGER!” a male voice shouted in my head “What the fuck!?” I said as I was surrounded by a red X as I felt a suit wrap around my body, “Gokai Archer!” I shouted against my will. Posing, an explosion of red appeared behind me.

When I came to I was wearing a gokaiger suit, I walked over to a full length mirror in a corner of the room, my helmet visor was a silver silhouette of Kanshou and Bakuya crossed over each other, bordered by white, the rest of the helmet was red with black hexagons on it, the main body was similar to Gai’s, however the jacket was black and under the jacket was red with a skull and crossbones executed in white the belt was silver instead of gold, “HA! in your face logic, and rules!”

Celestia grumbled something about “Rules are there for a reason.”

Gai scratched his chin, walking around me, “Huh, not bad. I wouldn’t be surprised if the suit granted you your own signature weapon as part of its equipment.”

“By the way does that japanese guy always screech ‘Gokaiger’ in your head?”

Gai nodded, “yep, don’t know how to get him to stop, but it really helps set the mood, doesn’t it?”

“I suppose, but I can also see it getting old really quickly.” I said holding my chin thoughtfully I wonder what my signature weapon would be,

I attempted to call my weapon and was surprised to find it was a short bow made of out Kanshou and Bakuya, the swords themselves retained their bladed edge so it’d be useful and the lack of a string makes it useful as a dual bladed sword. “Hang on there’s a rotor and hinge between the two swords, I twisted the two swords almost making me jump out of my skin as another two kanshou and bakuya emerged to form a large shuriken, twisting it back the extra blades withdrew and I tried folding the bow, and a pole shot out of the handles as the blade lengthened into a scythe.

“Okay rule of cool is in effect fillies and gentlecolts!” I squeed.

Gai whistled, “damn girl, you’re gonna make a pirate jealous!”

“Well you got a piece of my essence, doesn’t that mean you can use these anyway?” I asked

“Nope, that form is completely unique to you, hope you enjoy your new arsenal.”

“I wonder if I get a mecha? Oooh that’d be so awesome!”

“Doubt it, the Gokai Galleon is the Gokaiger’s main mecha, and that’s my ship. I do have the GoZyu Drill, but that’s my personal mecha, sorry kouhai.” Gai said, patting me on the head.

I swatted at his hand while I ducked away, “Ah stop it!” I whined.

“Ara, doshta no, hime-sama?” Gai teased, laughing like a maniac.

“Baka! Don’t you have a crew to be harassing?”

“I’ve only got a First Mate and a few passengers, I’d hardly call that a crew.” Gai said, shrugging.

“So how do I send you back before Clover walks through that door and spills her guts like her life is on the line?”

“Just hold up my token and say my name and: ‘our contract is complete’. That’ll open a gateway back home.”

I hold out my own token and give it to Gai, “Use this to call me if you need back up, and to surprise the other rangers,”

“Somehow, I feel as though you’ll be the one calling for my help, kouhai. As far as people like us go, you’re still a rookie.” Gai said.

“Just accept the gesture, baka.” I said shoving the token into his hand, “Gai, our contract is complete. I am sure you have a few comely wenches waiting fer yer scurvy ass.”

Gai chuckled as a portal opened next to us, “I wish! Not many brothels where I’m from, what with the alien occupation going on.” He leaned in to stage whisper into my ear, “but between you and me… I hear the area around the wings are a very sensitive spot for winged ponies, might wanna try it out sometime.”

“Thanks for the tip, now get going.” I whispered back.

“Ja na!” Gai said, waving as he dove into the portal.

“Dewa mata ne!” I responded.

Gokaiger verse

“Ahhh, skare ta...” Gai sighed as he collapsed into his usual chair aboard the Gokai Galleon, tossing Archer’s key into the small chest next to him and propping the token against his armrest.

“So? What happened?” Asked his First Mate, taking a seat on the couch to his right.

“It’s a really long story...” Gai moaned, “and I need a nap.”

“Oi! Don’t fall asleep now! CAPTAIN!!!”

And with that, Gai Ikari fell into a deep slumber.

Author's Notes:

Aaaannnd that is the end of the cross over with Gokai....Ponies by The Villain in glasses.
Next chapter we will explore what happens next to Archer.