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Sugarcatharsis

by FanOfMostEverything

Chapter 1: Sweet Sentiments

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At first, the addition of magic to the world didn't change much at Crystal Prep High School beyond extending the "no running in the hallways" rule to include flying. Then Twilight Sparkle transferred to Canterlot High, and she seemed to take most of Principal Cinch's patience with her. Officially, there were no other policy changes. Unofficially, Cinch cracked down on any overt magical displays or other acknowledgements of the changed world with enough menacing disapproval to cow the entire student body.

Fortunately, Cinch's own transformation made it easy to hear her coming, which meant that Sugarcoat felt entirely safe as she approached the school's materials lab. No telltale fingertip-on-wineglass sound that came with the principal gritting her teeth, nor the deep temple-bell resonance of her stomping footsteps. No, the only risk here was social.

Sugarcoat took a deep breath and opened the door, revealing half a dozen students grouped around four 3D printers. The fabrication club had been rather low in Crystal Prep's savage social hierarchy before the change. They were on the rise now, but judging by their wide eyes and dropped jaws, they'd never had a client as high-profile as her, one of the school's top students.

Now one step closer to the top...

She channeled the stray thought into her scowl. "You know why I'm here."

The ringleader, a senior boy with a forehead gem and a sad attempt at a beard, recovered first. "Cheapest ones are ten bucks."

"I'll give you three."

He tried to match her scowl. "This is non-negotiable."

Sugarcoat crossed her arms and took a deep breath. "Given how much of your merchandise Cinch has confiscated over the past few weeks, I'm amazed she hasn't already found the source. We all know it's only a matter of time. We also all know the cost of the materials. If I were you, I'd accept any price offered, because when Cinch finds out you've made a black market using school equipment and selling those, you'll definitely never make another sale." She drew out the silence just long enough before adding, "Of course, that will be the least of your worries."

The lackeys glanced among themselves, shuffling uncertainly. One of them said, "She has a point, Demand Curve."

Demand Curve gritted his teeth. "Fine. Seven dollars."

"Three."

"Six."

"Three."

Demand Curve screwed up his face and clenched his fists, but sagged. "Fine."

Money and merchandise changed hands. As Sugarcoat left the lab, she said, "It was an unnecessary hassle doing business with you."


Sugarcoat sat on her bed and frowned at the pendant in her hand. It was pretty crude, a quick-and-dirty job that had a rather pixelated look along the design's curves. Still, it was what she expected for what she paid.

She took a deep breath, shut her eyes, bowed her head, and gripped the thing tightly, enlarged fingernails clicking together in a way she still wasn't wholly used to. "I don't know if you want some nicer representation of your icon or if I need to be sincere about this. But I don't do reverence, and I don't think you want any. Besides, if this doesn't work, I'll just talk to you in person. You're not hard to find. The point is that we need to talk about Twilight."

"I'm listening."

Sugarcoat's eyes snapped open. She managed to keep herself from flinching away from the other girl suddenly standing before her, but she couldn't restrain her tongue. "You really need to work on your entrances."

Sunset Shimmer smirked. "Don't worry, I am." She looked at Sugarcoat's hands and the two-toned sun pendant within, her expression falling to a frown. "You were right, by the way. I'm not really comfortable with the whole 'divinity' thing."

"Answering prayers doesn't help."

"I don't plan on making a habit out of it." Sunset's smirk returned. "Still, based on my experience, that makes me stand out from most of this world's gods."

Sugarcoat nodded. "Valid point."

"So, what's this about Twilight?"

"I…" Sugarcoat's eyes widened. For the first time in her life, she found she couldn't say what she felt. "Is she happy?"

Sunset stared at her for a moment, her expression unreadable. "She is. Would you like to see her sometime?"

"That wouldn't be a good idea." The words came flooding back before Sugarcoat realized. She certainly couldn't stop them. "Crystal Prep is a toxic cesspool for her and anyone else who isn't an a hypercompetitive social barracuda. I was the closest thing she had to a friend there, or maybe the furthest. At least most people just treated her like she wasn't there out of jealous resentment. Lemon Zest even tried to be nice whenever she remembered there was a world outside of her headphones. But I just blasted Twilight with the same unvarnished truth I do everyone else. I'd hoped it... That she..." Words failed Sugarcoat again. She bowed her head, wrapping her arms wrapped around herself. "Long story short, I suck and she's better off at CHS."

A hand on her shoulder made her look up into Sunset's sympathetic smile. "Don't you think you're giving yourself too little credit?"

Sugarcoat shrugged off both the gesture and the supposition. "I don't pull any more punches with myself than I do with anyone else. Besides, after hearing that, do you really think I'm being uncharitable? Imagine running into that wall of text every day for the past few years. If Twilight's happy now, that means she has new friends. Better friends. Actual friends."

"You care about her happiness enough that you prayed to a god you don't believe in. I'd say that's a good sign."

Sugarcoat scowled. "What happened to not being comfortable with divinity?"

Sunset shrugged. "I'm not, but that is what you did from your own perspective."

After a moment, Sugarcoat gave a shallow nod. "Point made."

"I do think it would be good for you to see Twilight again. Get some closure, if nothing else."

Sugarcoat looked everywhere but into Sunset's eyes. Finally, she said, "I'll think about it."

"That's all I ask." With that, Sunset vanished, leaving Sugarcoat alone with her thoughts, looking at the phone on her nightstand. After what felt like an eternity, she picked it up.

After a few seconds of a far too loud ringback tone, a raspy voice answered her at the volume that had put the rasp in it. "What's up, Sugarbomb?"

Sugarcoat rolled her eyes, already holding her phone a few inches from her ear. "I've decided to go visit Twilight Sparkle at Canterlot High. I'd like some moral support, for lack of a better phrase."

"Cool. I'll see if the rest of the Ef-Gee team's interested."

Sugarcoat took a moment to translate Lemon Zest to Wranglish. "We don't even know if there's even going to be a Friendship Games this year, much less whether or not we're on the team."

Lemon made a flatulent noise. "Dude, have you even seen Cinch lately? Far as she's concerned, it's the only way to even start making up for a CHS student becoming God. There's so going to be a Friendship Games."

"Our school is messed up in too many ways to count."

"Plus, all the academic and athletic stats are publicly viewable. Y'know, so we all know who to resent most and stuff."

Sugarcoat shook her head. "It just keeps piling on, doesn't it?"

"The batshit pile does indeed not stop from getting taller," Lemon Zest said solemnly. "Point is, you, me, and three other girls—woulda been four with Twilight, woo double X—have all pretty much clinched positions on the team. I know all three of 'em, so I can ask without it being all weird and blathery-offensive like if you did."

"That was pretty 'blathery-offensive' in and of itself."

"This is true. You wanna try?"

Sugarcoat sighed. "No, you're completely right about my lack of anything resembling diplomatic skills. And I would appreciate you seeing if any of them are interested. Does Twilight know any of them?"

"Eh, kinda? Thing about a girl with her own freakin' lab to herself is she don't socialize much with anyone who doesn't come to her first, and that's pretty much just you, me, and Dean Cadence. So, when we doin' this?"

"I..." Sugarcoat's fingers drummed against her phone for a moment. "I haven't actually called Twilight yet."

"Well, get on it. No one likes the whole blushy, fidgety, 'notice me senpai' thing."

"There are times when I just have to pretend I understand you."

"Qarfleblurn!"

"Precisely. Talk to you tomorrow, Lemon Zest." Sugarcoat hung up, then stared at her phone and thought for a long stretch. Finally, she started composing a text message.


The next day, few students trickled out of Crystal Prep when the final bell rang. Most had transcript-padding extracurricular activities of one form or another. Sugarcoat was content to wait by her motorcycle until Lemon Zest walked up to it.

Sugarcoat raised an eyebrow. "You didn't bring anyone."

"Well..."

—————

Indigo Zap looked down upon her subjects from on high, the whistle in her mouth like the trumpet of a vengeful angel. This soccer team would be victorious, especially against Canterlot High.

"Yo, Zip Zap Zoodlebap! You wanna go see Twilight Sparkle?"

Indigo glanced at the side of the field and saw Lemon Zest waving up at her. She allowed herself to descend, though she touched not the base earth. "Let me get this straight," she said. "The Friendship Games are in a few weeks, and you want me to go to the enemy school to see the traitor."

Lemon beamed. "Yup."

"Not happening." Indigo's attention snapped to the field. The whistle rang out as she surged towards the offending defender. "I saw that, Frosty Orange! Branches of the Tree, are you even trying?"

—————

Sunny Flare hummed to herself as she considered the set design for the upcoming spring musical, walking from one side of the main auditorium to the other. She tsked to herself. "No, no, the blocking will never work that way." Her spellgem lit up, and with it a few select pieces of scenery, guided by her sweeping motions.

"So do you have to do the gestures or what?" a voice said from behind her.

"It helps my concentration, much like you aren't." Sunny released the spell and turned to face her unwelcome guest. "What do you want, Lemon Zest?"

"Well, Flare Bear, me and Sugarcoat are gonna go see how Twilight's doin'." Lemon grinned and leaned in close. "You in?"

"Are you going to her house?"

Lemon Zest shook her head. "CHS. We're meetin' her friends there, and since they're her friends, I figure they probably won't throw eggs at us."

Sunny blinked. "Why would they throw eggs at you?"

Lemon shrugged. "If I went to Canterlot High and I saw Crystal Prep kids, I know I'd throw eggs at 'em."

"Where would you even—" Sunny shook her head. "This entire conversation is moronic." She made a shooing motion. "Go slumming all you like. I have a lot of work to do for this performance."

"Cool." Lemon gave a thumbs up as she moved towards the main doors. "Break them legs!"

—————

Sour Sweet walked out of the girls' locker room, refreshed from archery practice and in a relatively good mood.

Said mood was sent crashing down by a hard slap on the back and a cry of "What it is, my citric sister from another mister?"

Sour squeaked, her wings flaring out for a moment before she turned to the annoyance. "Lemon Zest, please do us all a favor AND NEVER SAY THAT AGAIN."

Lemon shrugged. "No promises. Wanna go visit Twilight?"

"Oh sure, I'd absolutely love to!" Sour followed the saccharine proclamation with a flat look.

"Uh, I dunno if we actually have mind readers at this school now, but I ain't one of 'em."

Sour sighed and facepalmed, letting her hand drag over her face before saying in a measured tone, "I'd literally rather drink bleach."

Lemon nodded. "Got it."

—————

"Yeah, coulda gone better. Kinda forgot that Twilight was like the one student here who wasn't a raging bitch."

Sugarcoat considered this for a moment. "How?"

Lemon shrugged. "Wishful thinking, mostly. So, we goin' or what?"

"Yes." Sugarcoat got on her bike and offered Lemon a spare helmet. "I'm actually kind of glad none of them said yes; we'd have had to take the bus. This will be easier. Hop on."

"Aw yeah, this is gonna be awesome." Lemon sat behind Sugarcoat and gave an appreciative coo. "Oh, this baby likes you."

Sugarcoat nodded. Since the change, her bike's gas mileage had gone up, the mysterious rattle had gone away, and when the engine purred under her, it seemed like more than a figure of speech. She'd never had to charge her phone since, either. "Hold on tight. It hasn't gotten to know you yet."

Lemon wrapped her arms around Sugarcoat's waist. "Lead on, captain."

Sugarcoat revved the engine, unable to keep a small smile off her lips.


Even knowing that it was where the universe changed forever, Canterlot High still looked unimpressive to Sugarcoat, little more than a pale reflection of Crystal Prep. Given what had happened here, she wondered how much of that impression was ingrained propaganda.

She shuddered as she came to a conclusion.

"Everything okay?"

"Just took a look at myself. Too long. Not nearly long enough."

"Yeah, well save the quest of self-discovery for after we see Twilight. Oh! I see her!" Lemon Zest jumped up and down, shouting "YO! SPARKLEBUTT! OVER HERE!"

Even from the parking lot, Sugarcoat could see Twilight cringe by the school statue. She just rolled her eyes and walked towards her.

Lemon fell into step beside her. "Gotta ruin all my fun, don't you?" she said with a smirk.

"The way you define it? Yes."

Twilight was wearing a rather nice lavender-on-purple outfit and fidgeting with her hair. The girl beside her took a step forward as the Crystal Prep students approached. Twilight held out a hand in front of her, saying, "It's okay, Rainbow Dash."

Rainbow, suitably named, went back to Twilight's side. "If you say so."

"Sugarcoat, Lemon Zest, this is Rainbow Dash."

Sugarcoat nodded. "I gathered as much."

"Nice to meet ya!" Lemon held out her fist.

Rainbow looked at it like it was dipped in sewage before giving a reluctant bump. "I guess."

"Still, I thought Twilight had made a whole bunch of friends." Lemon looked around. "Where are the others?"

"Most of them are in their clubs," said Twilight, "and Pinkie Pie is—"

"SURPRISE!"

"AHH!" Lemon reflexively rammed her elbow into the shouter behind her.

Sugarcoat turned to follow the pink body spin and skid across Canterlot High's front lawn. Finally, it slid to a halt belly-up, gave a woozy thumbs-up, and called out, "I'm okay!"

"Rainbow, please!" Sugarcoat turned back to see Twilight holding back Rainbow Dash both physically and magically, the other girl's light wings spread and struggling along with the rest of her as Lemon Zest backed away. "She didn't mean it! PE at Crystal Prep is basically combat training!"

Rainbow blinked, no longer struggling. "It is?"

Sugarcoat, Lemon, and Twilight all nodded.

Rainbow squirmed. "You're putting me in an uncomfortable place, Twi. I kinda want to say something nice about Crystal Prep."

Lemon burst out laughing and clapped Sugarcoat on the shoulder. "It's fantastic! She's like if you and Indigo had some weird magic lesbian baby." She turned to Twilight. "Hey, are magic lesbian babies a thing now?"

"I... what?"

"I'll take that as a 'maybe.'"

"I like her," Pinkie Pie said from Twilight's other side.

Sugarcoat looked around the lawn, then back to Pinkie. "When did you get there?"

"You learn not to ask that kind of thing about Pinkie." Twilight shuddered. "At least, not without proper safety gear."

"So," said Rainbow, wings still spread, the better to loom over the Crystal Prep students from midair, "why did you guys come, anyway?"

Sugarcoat met her gaze evenly. "I—"

"Isn't it obvious, Dashie?" said Pinkie. "They're here to see how their friend's doing."

"Sort of." All eyes turned to the front doors, where Sunset Shimmer had spoken.

Lemon Zest waved. "Hi, God."

Sunset scowled. "I'm not a god."

"Please, you are totes a god. You are so totes a god, you're, like, duffel bags a god. Your godhood isn't even a carry-on; you've got to leave that shit when you check in and wait an hour at baggage claim to pick it up again, praying to your own luggage that it didn't end up in anomph mphmph. Mph mphph..."

Sugarcoat sighed, her hand covering Lemon Zest's mouth. "This is why it's a bad idea to let her go without headphones for more than ten minutes. She starts trying to think."

Lemon leaned her head back. "Love ya, Sugar."

"We barely tolerate each other."

"Nuh uh. You barely tolerate me. I think you're hilarious."

Sugarcoat rolled her eyes. "Why did I even bring you along?"

"Aside from needing someone with a filter? 'Cause you'd feel kinda pathetic if you went all the way out here alone just to talk to your girlcrush." Lemon gasped. "Oh snap! Did I just steal your brutal hones— Oof!" She crumpled around Sugarcoat's fist.

The Canterlot girls all gasped. "Sugarcoat!" cried Twilight.

"Nah," wheezed Lemon Zest, staggering backwards. "It's cool. I deserved that."

Sugarcoat helped support her as she got her breath back. "No. You didn't. I overreacted and—"

"Sugar. Seriously. It's cool." Lemon nodded towards the others. "Besides, cat's outta the bag."

"I... I suppose it is." Sugarcoat turned to a slack-jawed Twilight and took a deep breath. "I..." She shut her eyes for a moment. I love you. I care for you. I want you to be happy. Pretty words, yes, but they jammed in her throat every time she tried to force them out. If she was going to do this, she had to do it her way. "Despite my near-constant verbal abuse, I really do admire you."

"I— You—" Twilight's mouth worked silently for a few moments before she said, "How so?"

"It comes down to your staggering intellect. Smart as you are, you could have, should have taken the Macavallan meritocracy of Crystal Prep by storm. But you took one look at all of the politicking, the posturing, the pettiness, and you decided none of it was worth the struggle. You just kept out of it. You even became the protege of the one notable faculty member of what was until recently our most laughable rival."

"Hey!" cried Rainbow.

Sugarcoat raised an eyebrow. "I did say 'until recently.'"

"Roll with it," said Lemon. "That's the closest thing you'll get to an apology."

Dash glowered, but Twilight's hand on her shoulder made her expression soften. "Please, Sugarcoat," said Twilight, "go on."

"That's what impressed me the most about you. You could've practically ruled Crystal Prep, and you decided you didn't want it. You even left the school entirely. I can't think of anyone else with that kind of strength of character. Not even myself."

"Wow. I... Uh..." Twilight bit her lip. "Well—"

Sugarcoat held out a hand. "Don't. I know you're not attracted to me. How could you be? I was probably one of the primary motivations for distancing yourself from the rest of the student body. I just wanted to get this off my chest." She hazarded a thin smile. "I actually do feel better. Sunset was right. Besides, we all know she's a better match for you."

Everyone turned to Sunset, who was quickly reddening. "Uh... Hey! I think I hear someone invoking my name to do something terrible. I should go check on that." Her body sublimated into orange smoke, which quickly vanished in an unfelt breeze.

Twilight ran after the dust, scowling. "Oh no, you're not just—" She vanished in a burst of light.

The other girls shifted awkwardly. Lemon Zest coughed.

"So," said Pinkie, "wanna hang out?"

Dash gaped at her. "Pinkie!"

"Come on, Dashie. Don't think of them as Shadowbolts. Think of them as people!"

"Well..." Dash shrugged. "Eh, sure, I guess."

"I'd love to," said Lemon. "You guys haven't thrown one egg at me yet. Sugar, you in?"

"I just poured my heart out to my crush, who then folded space to get away from me." Sugarcoat took a deep breath. "We are getting ice cream."

Lemon Zest put an arm around her shoulders. "Fuck yes, we are getting ice cream."

Author's Notes:

The Machiavelli pun comes from Daedalus Aegle's fantastic Discourse on Fillies. Sunny Flare being a drama kid comes from Bookish Delight's Better Late than Never, which provides the best characterization I've seen for Sunny (which is to say, any.) It also likely provided inspiration for this entire idea, though I didn't realize that until I reread it.

I don't know what it is about human Twilight that gets me shipping when so few other characters in this franchise do. There's just something eminently pairable about her.

Next Chapter: Epilogue: How Not to Make Skooma Estimated time remaining: 2 Minutes
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