It was evening. Tabitha leaned back in her chair with a weary sigh. She'd had to hire on a few other ponies to keep the mess down, and since they would be poking around the building, she'd had them sign papers, and they had ranged from curious to one being terrified. When that one left, she tore his contract apart.

In the end, she had her crew, which happened to include Razz.

"The con-goers seem happy," reported Razz as he stepped in. "Most are just going out for food." He glanced at the paper and the ticket that still laid on the table. "You know... They're my friends. If this is my payment for my work, I want it. Asking me to... leave them isn't what a boss should do."

Tabitha sat up at that. She felt angry, very angry, but he wasn't... entirely wrong. "No... As someone who is getting to know you, I can tell you I think they're bad news."

"Noted and received." He sat up tall. "Now I will accept my payment and see you in the morning." He reached a wing for the paper and the ticket.

She caught his wingtip, which made him blush intensely. "Before you go, there is one thing I can insist on, as your boss and your landlady. They are not allowed here, in this building. I don't want or need outright criminals here."

He squirmed faintly. "I-I suppose you can do that." He got the paper away and started giggling as he read it. "Sponsor level..." His thoughts took a sudden jump from track to track. "Why aren't you going?"

"Be a human at Biped con? Look, I don't really suggest being a pony at pony con."

"There's a pony con?"

She smiled a little. "Never been myself, but I've heard about it. Thousands on thousands of people, all eager about magical ponies that can talk."

He shook his head firmly. "I'm sure it wouldn't be so bad. We have some minotaurs and young dragons there, and they're bipeds."

"And I assume they're 'normal'."

"Sort of...?" Razz perked an ear. "I mean, everyone knows they exist, but you can go your life without actually seeing one." He waved the ticket in a wing. "Here's my chance to see one! Maybe both?"

Tabitha put a hand on her chest. "I don't know about them, but being gawked at like a rare animal is not what makes me happy. I guess they like it enough, or they wouldn't be there. That's why I'm not going."

Razz reared up, his hooves resting on the edge of the desk. "That's a bad reason! You can tell me things as a friend, fine, that goes two ways. Come on and let's have some fun."

She reached and gently tapped his nose, enough to make him withdraw. "It's been a long day. Even if I thought it was a great idea, I'm exhausted. I'm going to go straight to bed-con. You have fun if you're up for it, alright?" She pushed to her feet and began closing up the office.

Razz let her go, standing in the lobby as she retreated. He tucked the ticket away. "Suit yourself, miss having no fun." Snubbing the Grateful Mares and letting the convention go? He didn't understand mares. Or, uh, whatever. She was a mare on two legs. A... pretty mare, in her bizarre way. Mares didn't have... She had...

She wasn't really a mare at all.

He didn't care. He almost wanted to care, but he didn't. He grunted softly as he shook himself out. She was like a bad habit he couldn't quit.

He trotted out of the building.

"Yo, Razzy." A unicorn approached with a big bandage right around her barrel. "When are you going to move out of that loser pad?"

Why did both sides of his friends want him to leave the other? "Can we not talk about that right now?" His eyes were drawn to that bandage. "What happened to you?"

"Your new marefriend happened to me." She wrinkled her snout.

Razz tried to imagine Tabitha getting violent. She wouldn't do that, right? "How'd it happen?"

"I wandered up to her place to, you know, talk with her, see what's up with my boy Razzy and she just snaps." The unicorn blew a big bubble of gum in emphasis. "Never got thrown so far in my life. Doc says I broke a rib doing it, all thanks to your, uh, whatever she is."

He blinked softly, but went quiet. There wasn't much he could say, other than, "I hope it gets better soon."

"That's all you're gonna say?" She huffed and partially turned from him. "I got this for you, moron. Shoot, I haven't even got a thank you for those tickets I went and got for you. Some friend you are. I bet she didn't even like them."

"S-she liked it just fine." He glanced away from her. "Look, I gotta go."

"Go where?" She circled around in front of Razz. "You look ready to run."

"I am, but not away. I'm going to a fun place, by myself."

"You're not taking me?" She frowned a little. "And after I got you those tickets? I thought favors ran both ways, Razzy boy."

Razz considered getting the other ticket for his friend, but... it would be a betrayal. As much as his friends hated each other, he wouldn't be their weapon. "I only have the one."

"Let me have it then. Where's it to?"

"Biped Con, you wouldn't want to go anyway," he assured. He felt safe in that guess, and he wanted to keep that ticket!

She didn't, but watching him squirm was fun, still... "I would, but I'm still healing up. You go have fun." He looked quite relieved. "Don't get too happy about me getting my flank kicked." She spat out her gum and trotted off, lost to the crowd quickly.

He watched her go before he let out a breath. He tried to put the whole troubling thing out of his head and rushed to the convention. He showed his ticket and was given a badge, then reared up onto his hind legs to awkwardly advance into the hall as others were trying, though many more had grown tired of trying that and were walking around normally.

He stopped in on some later panels, said hello to people, and talked about things. If he didn't have work the next day, he'd chalk it up to a well-spent evening.

"Hey," said one of his new friends. "Are you going to be there for the Humanway demo?"

"I don't usually play... what is that?"

"You don't know? It doesn't matter, there'll be a real human there! He may be some kind of stunt for Humanway, but he looks real. He has a tag on that says Ponyfinder, get it? He's like the opposite of a Humanway player."

"He?" Razz lifted a brow and the fellow nerd nodded. Razz made up his mind quickly. He didn't want 'his' Tabitha to meet a male human. He couldn't be sure they wouldn't hit it right off or some kind of pheromones would have them going at it. Did humans have those? That would explain why being around Tabitha made him feel so dreamy...

"You alright? You look distracted."

"Oh! Sorry." He smiled at his new friend. "Afraid I have to work tomorrow, so I won't be there." He turned for the exit. "Speaking of which, I should get some sleep in. I'll be collecting my swag and heading home."

"Aw, have fun!" The geeky pony waved emphatically as Razz trotted away.

Razz returned home with a bag of goodies, including a plush figure of an upright pony, one of the con's mascots. He didn't want to go, but he didn't want to stay, or go back, at least not if Tabitha might come looking for him. Keeping her away from the male human felt too important. If he lost her that way...

He shook his head violently. "We aren't colt and marefriend. I don't 'own' her." His words sounded empty to himself even as he reminded himself of the bitter fight going on between his friends. He wanted her... "I'm not a pervert." He wouldn't ever hurt her! He would go just as fast as she wanted to go. He would even... leave, if she asked.

Stepping into his room, he kicked the door shut and stopped in front of the tall mirror, gazing at the reflection of himself. He was a strange pegasus... Even those at the con wanted to see, but what he was doing... "She doesn't even like me that way," he muttered to himself as he set the bag aside and sighed loudly. "I'm thinking impossible things like marriage, and all she sees is a tenant that needs help. How can she be attracted to a loser?" He grunted before he suddenly swung his hoof forward, smashing the mirror in the violent blow.

Just as soon as he had done it, he regretted it. If she saw it... He had lashed out for no good reason. With a soft grunt, he gathered up the bits of glass and hurried it out of the building into the nearest dumpster.

"You look troubled."

He spun in place to see the monster of the second floor.

"Your eyes shine with an anger only a male could know."

"How would you know?" Sure, it seemed to speak with a male voice, but deciding the rest matched...

"Astute," spoke the monster. "You're the first to question that. I am untroubled, however. Did the caretaker evict you?"

"W-what? No! Did she say she was going to?" His sweat ran cold at the thought.

"No. It was merely conjecture. Equine male, you pursue a female, but she is not equine."

"I know that..." How could he not? She was no pony.

"Her ways are not your ways. Will you ask her to come to your side of things, or will you join her?"

"She's bossing me around!" Being lectured by the creature, monster or not, was grating.

"She is a female. In you she sees a wounded young, lost but savable, so she acts. Others would have evicted you before now. More the fool is she for trying to fix problems that are not hers." The monster started to walk right past Razz.

He wouldn't accept that and quickly scurried in the way. "Wait! Please."

"You are in the way."

The words sent a dread chill through Razz's body. That monster was, well, a monster. He shouldn't challenge it, but... "Please..."

The beast let out a slow sigh. "As a favor to the caretaker, we will speak briefly longer. Ask."

"I don't want to be her foal... I want to be her equal, and..."

"You wish to woo her despite your incredibly poor position. You have some bravery, or is that desperation?"

"Whatever it is, what do I have to do?"

He raised a long finger. "First, you should make your own decisions." They stared at one another for a quiet moment. "I thought you would ignore that. Very well, fix yourself. Mend the breaks in you so she doesn't have to. Become that peer you wish to be. You should not need her." It moved past Razz. He made a feeble attempt to stop him, but the beast shoved him back firmly, though gently. "We will meet again." Then it, or he, or maybe even she? The monster left.

Razz crashed to his haunches, head full of the ideas given to him by the full day and the conversation he had just ended. "Be what I want to be..."

Author's Notes:

Razz faces himself. He sees a typo.