Jim forced himself to his feet before he noticed something. Was he actually speaking to Bon Bon? A smile quirked on his lips. There was at least one silver lining on an otherwise trashed day. "Bon Bon?"

Sweetie jerked and looked at Jim as if he were a monster a moment before she blinked. "Is that a human talent? You're the second one to know my... Don't call me that, please. It's... private." She stood up with him. "Feeling better?"

Jim nodded. "Not really, but sitting here isn't gonna solve a damn thing. What do you prefer--" He paused a moment before it clicked. "Sweetie Drops?"

Sweetie inclined an ear back. "That remains an uncanny thing... Yes, Sweetie is fine. You're Jim, right?"

Jim pat himself down, brushing off some of the dust from the destruction. "That's right. Thanks, by the way. I appreciate it. You don't owe me anything, and I know that, so, really, thanks."

Sweetie smiled gently. "That's quite alright. What are friends for?"

"We're friends?" He raised a brow. "Not that I'm complaining."

Sweetie offered a hoof. "We are if you want to be. Let's get to cleaning this up."

He accepted the hoof with a balled fist, bumping them together gently before he turned towards the wreckage. "Right, good idea. Come on. I'm thirsty as hell. Want a drink?" He led the way into his apartment over the debris. "Mind your step." He'd hate to have his new pony friend hurt a hoof.

Soon they were both inside as Jim poured two shot glasses of liquor for the two of them. "Do, uh, no offense or anything, but do ponies handle alcohol?"

She shook her head. "Don't be absurd. Of course we do, and that little shot isn't going to knock an earth pony mare off her hooves or she's already in a sad state. Now give it up." She rolled a hoof as she grinned, giving the impression she took no real offense to the question.

A loud thump came from the door that wasn't there, as if someone was pounding on it, despite it not existing. A muffled voice came as if through the same door. "Open up, police!"

Jim dropped the glass he was about to give to Sweetie. It hadn't even made it an inch up, and just fell with a clunk, still upright. "Shit, uh. Coming!"

Sweetie looked around the room with a sudden awareness, taking in the details. "How?" Questions or not, she moved swiftly to stand behind the counter, putting herself out of sight.

Jim glanced towards where she was hiding before approaching the door that wasn't there, but then it was. It was battered like someone had taken a ram to it, but it still stood, barely. He reached for the handle and gave it a turn and it fell to pieces from the pull he gave.

Visible behind the falling lumber was a lone police officer who looked quite surprised indeed. "Everything alright?" he asked with a suspicious tone. "Are you Jim?"

Well, he could start rambling about the pony world and angry letters and how his friend had become a powerful pony wizard... That seemed ill-advised. He shrugged instead. "Yep, that's me. What's up?"

"Not your door," pointed out the officer in a lame bit of comedy. "A friend of yours said he heard strange things coming from your apartment, then I arrive to find a door that looks ready to fall over, then it does. Can you explain that?" He took a cautious step forward. "Mind if I look around?"

Jim would have much rather he didn't, but saw saying no as a red flag to draw more suspicion. "Uh, yeah, sure. I don't really know why the door fell apart like that." He didn't know why either version of his door fell apart. "I wa--"

"Who is this?" The officer was looking right at a human woman that was standing behind a counter. Thankfully, to his eyes, she was dressed properly and looked more like a misplaced housewife than anything else. "Sorry, ma'am?"

Sweetie blinked. How had she been seen through wood?! "H-hi!" She moved around the corner, figuring the jig was up and offering a little wave. "How can I help, officer?"

The police man frowned a little. "I hate to be prying, but what is your relation?"

Sweetie blinked. "Marefriend."

"Mar-what?"

Jim stepped into things quickly. "Just a cutesy pet name we use. I'm a bit of a brony, so she's my marefriend, and I'm her coltfriend."

The officer nodded faintly at that. "Huh..." He didn't seem to be the brony type. "Just for the record, can I have your name, Miss?"

"Sweetie Drops," provided Sweetie with a little nod. She was looking up at the man, but he was looking above her. What was he seeing? "Is everything alright?"

"I should say not." He gestured back at the ruined door. "Can you tell me what happened here this evening?"

She had no idea, and certainly not one she could report. She did have a lie. "It's all my fault, really. I... was enjoying myself a little too much. She reared up and tapped a glass, though he just saw her reach over and do so. "We started playing truth or dare and I let things get more and more out of control and..."

The officer looked the woman up and down. She didn't look like trouble. She also didn't look terribly drunk. "You stopped?"

Sweetie nodded. "After I smashed the door, we decided to cool off." She wiped her brow. "I've been coming down since then. I think I'm alright now. Really, I'm very sorry if it bothered anypony."

That wasn't a terribly unlikely story, and he saw no bodies or blood... He pressed on and peeked in the bathroom, bedroom, and the balcony, just to be sure. The place seemed fine, outside the destroyed door. "Well, looks alright now. You really should try to keep your games under control. Your landlord's going to be furious." That wasn't his job to handle, however. "I'll be moving along now."

As he walked down the hallway towards the stairs, he muttered a bit to himself, "Anypony?" Bronies had too many made up words. What kind of adult watches cartoons for little girls anyway? At least one of them was a woman. He smirked a bit as he went. Maybe the guy was watching it to get the girl? He could understand that at least.

Left in their room, Jim let out a loud sigh of relief. "Oh my freaking god, thank you."

Sweetie nodded. "That's what friends are for, right?"

Jim coughed at that. "Spinning yarns for the police is not in the standard list of expectations from a friend. Still, thanks, really."

Sweetie looked past him to the hallway. That was not the same hallway. She trotted over to it and peeked her head out, looking left and right. "Why... are we in a different building?" That couldn't be good.

Jim hurried over and looked outside. It was his old hallway, in his old building. "Shit!" They weren't in Equestria. He looked down at Sweetie. She was still a pony, to him, but not to that cop... "Welcome to Earth?" He sank against the door frame. "Fuck..."

Sweetie frowned. "Look, we have to keep our heads. Don't panic. I assume you know where we are?"

Jim was a bit surprised. Sweetie was handling the situation quite well. "You're not worried?"

Sweetie rolled a hoof. "Of course I am, but freaking out isn't going to get us answers, or solve a thing. Is this your old home?"

"Yep." He stood up tall and went back to his counter. "I think now's a fine time for those drinks."

"I'll drink to that." She hopped up neatly onto the counter and sat there. She accepted the glass, holding it at the end of a hoof without difficulty and slugging it down when Jim did. "Now, that officer didn't see me, not as a pony. That seemed obvious. What did he see?"

That seemed a fine question. "If it worked like I've seen it work before, he saw a human. He didn't freak out, so I'm guessing you're dressed, as a human. I can't see it though. Once I signed the contract, I don't see 'disguises'. That's what they're called, I think."

Sweetie leveled a hoof at him. "Well, we'd better keep up the act we've started. We're a couple now."

Jim blinked at that. "What?"

Sweetie shrugged. "Unless you have a better reason for a lady human appearing and moving in with you suddenly. I do need to stay here, at least until it goes back into the right house."

That made a certain amount of sense... "Alright..." It was a good thing he didn't have a girlfriend, or that would just be too awkward. "Look, sorry. I didn't mean to suck you into this."

Sweetie rolled her eyes. "You didn't force me to do anything. I'm old enough to take responsibility for my own actions. So, we're a couple, congratulations." She fluttered her lashes. "Don't think that gets you the right for anything past a hug or a kiss. I expect you to be a gentlepony."

Jim pinkened just faintly. "I'm not going to do... that." He was a guy. At least the thought of such a thing had occurred at least once during his many viewings of the show and plethora of clean and otherwise art on the internet, but he wasn't rushing to avail himself of a pony. Especially not one he helped get stuck on a hostile alien world. Sheesh, he had some dignity! "So... Alright, we're not freaking out, but what can we do about this?"

Sweetie lifted her shoulders a little. "There's not a lot to do right this moment. Step one, you have to report that busted door to your landlord and be ready to catch hell for it. Is that going to set you back?"

Jim sighed at that. "Yeah..." How much did doors go for? He'd get to find out. "I shouldn't go broke from it at least. Let's get that out of the way." He set down the empty glass. "Will you be alright here?" She waved him off and he strode off towards the manager's office.

He'd rather be dealing with Tabitha. She seemed like a nice sort, and understood the madness that Equestria could bring.

Instead, he'd be dealing with a man quite mired in the troubles of Earth, as varied as they could be, though significantly less 'magical'.

He rapped on the door with the back of his fist. Time to pay the piper.

Author's Notes:

Welcome home, Jim!

Well, this got a little complicated...

I could be wrong, but I think a typo was involved.