Doctor Remedy was friendly and diligent. It felt strange to have him poking and prodding, and it was a firm reminder that she wasn't a human anymore.

Tabitha tried her best to keep her eyes forward and muscles relaxed despite the urge to flee or swat at him to leave her be. "I'm wearing something to block the stink I put off."

"Stink?" He leaned in a little and she could hear him sniffing. "You smell like a healthy mare to me, Tabitha. You shouldn't be so hard on yourself." His tone was gentle and scolding, like a well-meaning parent. "From what you've told me, you are a sexually active adult, and there's no shame in that, though I would recommend finding a partner you trust and adore above the rest to remain with. It's healthier, physically and emotionally."

Tabitha rolled her eyes at that. "I think I blew that option."

"Oh?" Things became quiet a moment. "I won't pry if you'd rather I didn't. You came to me looking for a doctor, not a professional friend."

Professional friend? "Do you mean psychologist?"

"Oh, Celestia no! Those are saved for truly broken ponies, and you aren't that. Even taking your, um, unique origin into account, you're quite successful, reasonable, and empathetic. You're a perfectly functional adult, with just a few problems, like the rest of us."

"So more of a therapist?"

He tilted his head. "Do you need a physical therapist, Tabitha?"

"No..." She was hitting a dead end and she knew it. The idea of a psychologist for anything but severe mental breaks was just outside the norm, and therapists were just good friends you happened to pay. Huh... "So... you're also a professional friend?"

"The way you say it." He let her close up back there and circled around towards her front. "Your ponies don't have professional friends? Who would you see?"

"Most of us, nobody," she admitted with a shrug. "But we do have therapists, mental kind. Psychologists above them. Both are considered flavors of doctors."

The doctor looked baffled at the idea. "A doctor, of the heart? I could never claim such a title. The idea that somepony could is a little frightening, but we're not here for that." He reached out and up, poking Tabitha in her equine chest. "If you're alright with it, let's talk."

Tabitha considered that a moment as she sat up and put her rump down, glad to no longer be waving in the breeze. "Alright." It couldn't hurt, right? "So, let's get the situation laid out. I have a marefriend that loves me to pieces and I like quite a bit."

"But not love?"

To the quick! Tabitha drew in a soft breath as she forced herself to face that issue. "I... I... Look, I wasn't born a pony, even the conglomeration you see now. I think I might like her, a lot. Like... a lot lot. Is it love? That's harder to say. When I look at her, I see a darling friend, but also an alien talking horse. I remind myself I'm also half alien talking horse, but that thought's there, nagging at me. I practically want to love her, and that terrifies me, and then I feel awful for feeling bad about it."

Remedy sank to his own haunches. "And around and around you go, feeling bad for feeling bad for feeling bad." He rolled a hoof along with the words. "I think I understand though. If I were alone with nothing but your curious people--" He gestured at Tabitha's human half. "--I'm not sure how I'd feel if I started to have feelings towards any one of them. We're taught, biologically, to seek out what we've seen. A spouse that reminds us of the best of our parents, that's the unspoken goal."

Tabitha felt a little lighter, smiling. "You understand." She was relieved those feelings weren't just hers to have.

He held up a hoof. "But nature only goes so far. Are you happy around this pony?"

Tabitha frowned a little as she mused over it. Rare was the time Coco was butting into her life and she didn't enjoy the presence. "Yes."

"Are you repelled by her, hm, equinity?"

Tabitha didn't answer that as quickly.

Remedy noticed and smiled. "The best cure may just be to be truthful with this mare and be close. Learn her goodness, and her cracks. What makes her appealing and what imperfections she may worry about that just makes her a living pony. Learn to truly see her as a person, with all the ups and downs that entails. When you're seeing past the pony or human to the person beneath, you will know if you love that person or not." There was a pause before he put a hoof to his chest. "I have nothing against fillyfoolers, as an aside, and you only barely qualify. I can speak with medical certainty that you're no filly."

Tabitha snorted softly, a sound that came naturally to her since she became half horse. She crossed her arms under her chest. "Thank you for that at least." A question tickled at her. "What about..." What was that word? She couldn't remember it. "Two stallions?"

His ears went up. "Coltcuddlers? More medically worrisome. Many of their, um, preferred activities carry greater risk for physical injury." He coughed softly into a hoof. "But, um..." He glanced left and right. "Strictly between you and I, telling a pony who to love or not to love is quite a daunting task. Better a sincere homosexual arrangement than any amount of insincere heterosexual ones." He sat up straight. "But that's just my opinion. You, Tabitha, don't really qualify either way. You're an edge case, but don't feel bad about that." He offered out a hoof. "You certainly don't seem to lack for friends, myself perhaps among them?"

Tabitha's inner cynic was pinging. Of course anyone who was being paid to be her friend would say exactly that. He seemed nice enough, but a true friend? She couldn't put him in that list just yet. Besides, they had just met. "So, if I don't want a little foal?"

Remedy seemed shocked at the sudden change of topic. "O-oh! Well, I don't even know if you're compatible or not. Being, hm, a mythical creature, forged of magic, you may be perfectly fertile, or entirely sterile. Chances seem good it's either one or the other, without a middle-ground to be seen. Do you know if the spellcaster involved had... um, designs? Yes, designs either way?"

Tabitha thought back to Spring and the act that had brought her there. "She seemed to think I was already in love with two ponies. I wasn't. She also thought I was attracted to her... I was." She tinted faintly at the admission. "She said I gave... She said she's pregnant, but I have no proof."

"I would like to meet this spellcaster, if I may?" A floating quill made some quick notes before floating off to the side. "You've certainly given me plenty to think about. Tabitha, you have your own thoughts to get in order. Go ahead. I'll have a letter sent with your results, conclusive or not. We'll make sure you're a healthy pony, half of one or not." He rose to his hooves. "Any last questions?"

Well, there was one... "How much?"

He blinked. "I was going to send that in the letter too, so you didn't have to worry about it now, but, um, thirty bits should cover the visit. The bill for the bloodwork will be in the letter."

Tabitha fished out the bits from her purse and the unicorn's magic took them from her offered hand. "Thanks, Doc."

"Remedy," he reminded. "I hope you don't take offense, but that wall..."

Tabitha waved a hand. "We just met, Remedy. I'm not going to trust you like that right away."

He smiled gently. "Thank you for the honesty. I can respect that. I'll head out and let you get dressed." He trotted right out of the office and the door swung shut with his magic behind him.

Dark patrolled. She was walking along the curious ley lines of the building, trying to get a feel for them. She paused as she saw Bubbles, the other guardian. The other unicorn. The other mare. Bubbles was a lot of 'other' parts of Dark.

As Bubbles drew close, Dark nodded. "Have you detected any signs I should be wary of?"

Bubbles came to a stop. "What?"

"Signs?" Dark gestured at the doors. "Strained doors, odd noises, curious smells?"

"Besides Queen McHorndog?" Bubbles rolled her eyes. "Hey, has she--"

"Stop." Dark shook her head a little. "I only love one mare, and she is forever barred from me. I obey her will, and it is that this place be protected and monitored, and I will see that done."

"A 'no' would have been enough." Bubbled huffed even as the lights dimmed around them. "What the?"

Dark held up a hoof for quiet and slowly circled as the darkness spread. "We are not alone."

"I should say you are not," whispered a dark voice, as sinister as the darkness that preceded it. "You are not the Caretaker."

Dark's keen senses gave her a place to face, even if there was nothing to face there. "I am her guardian, at the command of Pri--"

"I care little for your Princess. Where is the Caretaker?"

Bubbles suddenly charged the place Dark was staring at. Her horn glowed brightly as she wove a spell as much intuitive magic as any proper spell.

The Presence was struck by the arcane power, but shrugged it off with a mighty shake. As Bubbles came in close, it grabbed her with hands that weren't there before and hurled her to the ground. "You would dare?!"

Dark's own horn lit up, but she had no reason to approach the presence. She wove magic skillfully and precisely, weaving a cage of force around the dark presence. "You're not welcome here."

"It is not your decision." It pressed against the bars and Dark's sinuses became full as a headache exploded into being. The pressure became worse and worse as it pressed until the cage exploded in a shower of sparks, and Dark was sent to the ground, panting for breath.

Bubbles had scrambled to her hooves in the meanwhile and wove a new spell quickly, fashioning a rather intricate javelin that floated beside her head, glowing with power. "Shoot! You ain't the first thing I ever tangled with. Ya wanna play? Fine!" The javelin hurled itself with a powerful heave of magic, slicing through the air.

The thing grabbed for it but its unseen hand smoldered at the point of contact as it trembled and shook with an almost conscious desire to continue forward and impale it.

Even while the thing struggled to deal with the spear, a contest of wills between it and Bubbles, Dark rose to her haunches and quickly tore off her necklace. "By the moon's power, I banish you!" She held it up with all the power of any cleric brandishing a holy symbol at undead. Silver light exploded powerfully, and the darkness was gone.

Bubbles nodded at the spot. "Serves ya right." She turned towards Dark. "Ya al--" Her words were cut off as she saw Dark collapse to the ground, fading from wakefulness and bleeding around the snout. "Shoot..."

Author's Notes:

Hey, remember that house of horrors? It remembers you. You and your filthy typos.