"No...no....no..." I frown, tossing a few weapons out of a chest. "Jeez is there any weapon I want to train with?" I frown, tossing away a hula hoop, then a katana, then a club, and I just gave up and got my head out of the chest and scratching my head. "Damn it..." I mutter, brushing a strand of black hair out of my face as I look behind me to the room now littered with weapons and other assorted items that could be used as weapons.

The room that I was in was what could be called a 'stereotypical dojo' room, with windows on all sides of the room, the wooden floor having marks on them and even having weapons embedded in them from me haphazardly tossing swords, axes, shurikens, and other assortment of sharp and blunt weapons. The wooden pillars keeping the place up looked worn but still standing strong, the wracks for specific weapons were still hanging, just freshly cleaned and having some posters hanging around of 'hang in there' with a cute kitten hanging from a tree, a picture of a lime green stick figure giving a thumbs up while his sword was sticking out of the ground and his other hand was holding the handle like a cane while it said 'Be the best you can be', and finally a 'Rock Hard Gladiator' poster that had all the stick figures that I looked up to from Yoyo to Zetabrand, to Jade and Gildedguy. "If only I could be like them..." I sigh out, looking at my own solid blue hand.

"What if I told you you could be like them?" A voice asks, while I grabbed a dagger and got up swiftly, looking around with a fierce glare.

"Who's there?" I demand, looking around the entire dojo room and seeing nothing but the simple room and a shit ton of weapons on the floor.

"Just a friend." The clearer, more feminine, voice says while a white stick figure woman walked out from behind a pillar, her long red hair going half way half way down her back and her bright blue eyes and warm smile showing a more motherly kindness to her. She didn't look any different to stick figures, even the angel like wings she had behind her back wasn't exactly unheard of in the world. "What's a young man like you doing with so many weapons? Don't you think it's unbecoming of such a bright mind?" She asks while I continue to glare at her.

"How about you tell me how you got in here lady." I frown, not wanting to hear some motherly crap here.

"So many choices..." She mutters kicking up a katana and grabbing it in a fluid motions and checking the blade. "Good condition." She smiles at that and putting it down on the ground before picking up the hula hoop. "Why do you have a hula hoop?" She asks honestly. "Are you gonna use it as a weapon?"

"Why does someone use a big purple dildo as a weapon?" I counter, shivering at why the hell that person even though that was a bright idea.

"I see your point." She says, frowning knowingly. "But my names Faust, what's your name?" She asks, getting the hula hoop around her waist and starting to play around with the children's toy.

"Simon." I say, not budging an inch from where I was standing and keeping my grip on the knife. "Again why are you here?"

"Why? Can't a woman see a friend once in awhile?" She asks with a little laugh, and I continue to glare at her before throwing my knife at her. Now it shouldn't surprise me that the winged woman dodged it, but what did was the sheer amount of ease she dodged the knife flying at her as she let the hula hoop drop and bent backwards as the blade missed her, and she want to a hand stand and started spinning the hula hoop with one of her legs. "Sheesh, I know Stick figures can be naturally violent but that's just rude." She huffs, sounding offended before laughing it off.

"H-how did you..." I mutter before kneeling down quickly and grabbing a metal baseball bat and got into a ready stance in case she decided to attack me.

"Please Simon no need to be so tense, besides if I wanted to attack you-" She starts before flinging the hula hoop at me with blinding speed, which I knocked away quickly before she appeared next to me with a long sword gently pressed into my cheek. "I would have already attacked you. You train all day and night to see what your a master at, whether it be magic, weapons, or something else." She says while gesturing to the cluster of weapons, showing that there was an odd book or two that had radiated magical energy. "And yet you don't seem satisfied with just mastering one, you're missing something very important here Simon." She says before vanishing and appearing right back where she was before.

"You know instead of sounding cryptic and weird how about you tell me." I frown, before seeing the sword in Faust's hand glow and she swung down, leaving a massive cut in the air before she dropped the blade and grabbed the cut and tore open what I can only guess as a fabric of reality.

"You'll find out soon enough Simon, but not here." She says with a little grin while suddenly I felt a force try to shove me into the portal, all my weapons already being flung into the thing.

"W-what did you do lady!?!" I demand, feeling the force trying to pull me into whatever place it's wanting to go.

"Just giving you an opportunity to be like your idols." The winged woman says before vanishing, but before I could try to run away I felt something hit the back of my neck and then everything went dark.

After what felt like forever I finally got some feeling back and tried to grab something, but the only thing I could feel was...grass? I groan a little before trying to open my eyes, but was assaulted by the bright sun. "Of course..." I mumble, hating the sun sometimes as I slowly put a hand over my eyes to shade them as I opened my eyes a bit more, thankfully getting a better look at my blue hand and the blue sky, but besides that nothing much else. "Where the hell am I?" I mutter while starting to get up, before hearing the grass crunching underneath something.

“What in the world is that thing?” A female voice asks.

“I have no idea Twilight.” A young boy’s voice said to ‘Twilight’. “But...shouldn’t that be...flat?”

“Now that’s racist.” I joke, before I hear the two yelp in surprise. “Don’t worry, I’m just joking.” I say while getting up and rubbing my eyes. “So, who are-” I start before looking at the two...and seeing a unicorn and baby dragon is not what I was wanting to see. “Uh…” I mutter, starting to slowly get up.

“Hello?” The lavender colored unicorn asks nervously.

“What’s going on here?” A strong male voice says, before a...pegasus in golden armor? “What are you?” The guard asks, readying himself in case I was hostile.

“I’m...just gonna...go…” I muttered, getting to my feet and gently stepping away. “So...it was nice meeting you weird hallucinations, and I hope you...bye!” I say before vanishing.

“Hey!” The guard barks, flying up into the air and looking around, seeing a blue blur head towards town. “There you are.” He growls, flying off towards where I was running.

“NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE!!!” I shout repeatedly, not liking this at all. ”Okay...just...calm down…” I think to myself, before seeing a very homey looking town filled with even more candy colored horses. “Oh for christ sakes…” I mutter, seeing ponies look my way as I kept on running.

“HI!” A female says before a pink pony immediately appeared in front of me...only for me to tackle into her at barely having enough time to react.

“Shit!” I yelp, me and the pony rolling on the ground in a sudden dust cloud.

“Hi! My names Pinkie Pie, what’s your name?” ‘Pinkie’ asks, and I was assaulted by bright blue eyes on a way too pink pony.

“Fuck you!” I shout, grabbing the pony and throwing her off me, jumping up to my feet and bolting again.

“Bye Fuck you, See you later!”

”Is that pony fucking brain dead!?!” I mentally shout, not believing she actually called me ‘fuck you’.

“Hey!” I heard another feminine voice call out, a rainbow blur rushing towards me.

“Nope!” I shout, grabbing the random pegasus by the head, much to her shock, and hopped above her, causing her to ram herself into the ground with her own speed. “Nope!”

“Get back here!” A pony barks.

“You’ll never take me alive copper!” I shout, skidding to a halt before vanishing again to the guard as I rushed into an alleyway.

“How the hell can that thing move that fast!?” The guard shouts.

”I am so going to kick Faust’s ass when I find her...“ I mentally grumble, hiding behind a building and taking a deep breath. ”Okay calm down, assess the situation. I’m in some strange candy colored pony dimension and I have people chasing me for no fucking reason...good first start...“ I think to myself bitterly.

“There’s my newest star!” A white coated pony with a weird pink poof for a mane comes out into my sight. His eyes are glued on me. A female pony that looks like a bargain bin ‘Madonna’ is next to him.

“Nope…” I start, shaking my head. “I can already tell you’re some massive dick monger who’s greedy as piss and hates everyone, including your own ‘star’.” I start, looking at the ‘Madonna’. “Who are you? And why do you look like you just got out of a shitty halloween party?”

“Halloween?” She looks at your confusedly.

“Halloween, a time where kids dress up in costumes and go around asking for free candy?” I ask.

“Oh Nightmare Night. I’m Rara.” She answers only for dickwad to speak up.

“She is Countess Coloratura and she will be your co star. Especially since you need to lay low from the guards.” He weasley points out.

“I don’t care about the guards, but Rara, how much do you hate this guy?” I ask. “Given that he basically called you ‘colar’?”

“That’s Coloratura you philistine!” He snapped out.

“I mean…he is my manager…he’s the one who gets me my gigs…” She muttered out.

“Do you have a close friend nearby?” I ask. “Cause if you have a friend they might be able to let you show your ‘true’ talent shine without this bastard getting in the way. Make up and shitty backup dancers don’t make a performer.” I explain.

“GUARDS!!” The dickwad yells out as twenty guards ponies appear. Half are flying above my head. Before she could answer they all see me.

“Just remember my advice Rara.” I say before vanishing again, before stepping down on the roof. “See ya fuckers!” I laugh, bolting away from all the guards at a much faster pace than before. ”Hopefully she does what I said...she seems like a nice person with a shitty manager.” I think to myself.

“The nerve of some things that are so rude on your hospitality. Come along Countess we must prepare for your next show.” He muttered.

“No.” Rara states.

“What do you mean ‘No’? We have to continue your world tour or have you forgotten how much debt you’ve incurred during all these shows we’ve placed. I’ve barely gotten you to stay above the poverty line and we have to keep going just to get out of the red.” He answers.

“That’s because you keep spending all the money I make on booze and mares you selfish prick!” Rara shouts angrily.

“I have done no such thing you worthless floozy! I made you what you are today! Without me you would be nothing!” He yelled out.

“I HAVE A LIST OF ALL THE MARES YOU’VE SLEPT WITH ASSHOLE!” Rara shouts at him. “You think you’re ‘sneaky’ about it but you are about as obvious to spot doing shit like a dragon trying to impersonate a pony for Celestia’s sake!” She shouts at him, while grabbing her headdress and throwing it to the ground. “I’m bucking done! You have done nothing but drag me down into your own personal cycle of wasting away all my money just to feed your bucking habits!”

“Without me you would still be wasting away on that street corner singing your little songs and getting nothing for it. No one even gave you the chance until I came around. Without my name you would have turned into another mare of the night trying to figure out how to make their lives better.” He hissed out.

“That’s because I was trying to show people at Canterlot! But here, I have a friend that can help show this entire town how great I am at singing, and I don’t need you holding me back anymore!” She shouted, before turning around and bucking the bastard in the face hard enough to send him back a few feet, before seeing him fall to the ground unconscious. “Bucking prick.” She growled before heading off to Sweet Apple Acres.

“Get back here!” A guard barks, flying after me.

“Nope!” I shouted, rushing through the town again as magic spells were fired at me. Most likely stunning ones. “Well at least they’re trying something different…” I mutter, putting more spring into my step and going faster. ”If only I had my weapons, this would make me feel a lot safer.” I think to myself worriedly.

Try your belly button.

”Uh… I think, wondering if I heard that right. ”Well...wouldn’t hurt…” I mutter before thinking of a pair of deflection fans and shoved my hand near my belly button. Now here’s the thing about listening to weird voices, half of the time they're just fucking with you, and other times they actually give good advice, and thankfully I got good advice as a strange gate appeared where my belly button was and I pulled out two fans. “Huh...awesome.” I smile before grabbing the two and unfurling them, seeing the intricate design on the fans before turning around and readying myself. “Let’s hope this works.” I mutter, sensing the magical energy the fans held, seeing a bolt heading towards me and I swiftly and accurately deflected it to the sky. “Yay!” I cheer.

“H-how the!?!” A unicorn guard shouted incredulously.

“They’re fans! How the buck did that deflect magic!?” Another guard shouted, just as flabbergasted as his fellow guards.

“They block magic through the power of awesomeness!” I laugh, then they summoned a lightning storm. “Oh...that’s something.” I deadpan, not believing that just happened before I ran again. “Nope!”

“Get the buck back here!” A guard barks, chasing after me again.

Good start to a good day if I do say so myself.

Author's Notes:

Thank you so so much for my Co-Writer QuartzScale! This would basically be none existent without him!