“You see ‘em, Jim?”
“Yeah, I can see ‘em, Dave.” The militants laid low in Arizona’s limited shrubbery.
“Ya think them’s is ISIS with the nigger colors?”

“Might be. Think we can take ‘em?”

“Just us two? Wouldn’t count on it. Looks like they’re headed to Phoenix. We should warn the others.”

“Good idea.” The pair stood up and made a run back to HQ, which was really just a small, raggedy house in the middle of friggin' nowhere with old communications stuff. Jim told the other beer-drinkers inside the house about the situation and broadcasted the news over the radio “This is patrol squad 5 to any available minutemen, we have spotted possible IS fighters making their way south to Phoenix along 85. They’ll hit Why (Yes, there is actually a town southwest of Phoenix called fucking Why.) soon.”

A group of militants about one-hundred strong arrived at the northeast outskirts of Oracle and set up crude fighting positions by digging holes and trenches, throwing some sandbags in front of them, and setting up the few class 3 .50 caliber machine guns they had. Self-proclaimed sappers planted bags of ammonium nitrate on the sides of the highways, praying the explosions wouldn’t make potholes that they would have to explain to insurance companies. Everyone got in position and settled in. With time to spare, a militant leader donning a distinctive Multicam® cowboy hat began a patriotic speech.
“Alright, we got some Da’esh, ISIS, ISIL, whatever coming up that highway and they want to take yer freedom as Americans! Now normally we are the US’ backup plan and we would call the police for a situation like this but the nearest station is like 30 minutes away and the National Guard doesn’t exactly have an instant-service phone number. So we’re gonna have to take care of this on our own. It is our chance to prove ourselves! Do not retreat! Do not falter! THIS IS WHAT THE FATHER, THE SON, THE HOLY SPIRIT, AND ALL THE OTHER DIVINE MOTHERFUCKERS ASK OF YOU! FIGHT FOR LIFE, LIBERTY, AND THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS! HOORAH!” There was cheering and plenty of ‘amen’s.’

Nightmare Moon noticed the vegetation up ahead. “Finally, some greenery. All this sand was becoming an eyesore.” And then the greenery started fucking shooting at her. Three of fifteen of her guards went down. Nightmare summoned a force field and quickly flew upwards, but not before her whole front was turned into swiss cheese by at least twenty different caliber bullets. Her guards tried to follow suit but one of the rounds struck the ammonium nitrate sack at the side of the road, killing eight more. She ordered the remaining four to follow her and evacuate.

Nightmare Moon returned to Equestria to pick up a fresh supply of 66 more guards for a total of 70 and military camp supplies. Teleporting such a distance drained magic so she wanted to set up an impromptu base. The building started and they were preparing for a second attack but none of them knew the rednecks were also planning a counter-attack.