Everypony Dates Everypony Else

by Jay David

Chapter 1: The Premise

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The Premise

Slowly, Twilight opened her eyes, a look of grogginess upon her face. As she lifted herself up as best she could, she raised one hoof to her head, nursing herself there.

"Ugh...that's the last time I go through any late-night study sessions."

A moment or two passed as she let those words sink in, after which, she snorted and rolled her eyes.

"Yeah...it's not."

But, it was here that she actually managed to take stock of her situation. For the place she now found herself was not her chambers in the Friendship Palace, nor was it anywhere she even remotely recognised. From the most she could tell, she was sitting at a table surrounded by an empty expanse of darkness. Naturally, such surroundings would be disturbing for anypony to find themselves in, and as Twilight looked around, she did so with a look of concern.


No voice answered her, so, she did the next best thing, and simply started to move away from her table. She leapt out of her chair and started flying off as fast as her wings could carry her, straight into the shadows around her. She flew on and on, never stopping, until, finally, she managed to spot something in the distance. She smiled to herself and upped her pace, only to bring herself to a screeching halt. For the place she now saw before her was that same table she'd left not so long ago. She looked over her shoulder, and again, saw nothing but darkness, before once more looking to the table and chair.

"This...this doesn't make any sense!"

"Well, not before it's explained anyway."

Twilight froze at the arrival of the second voice, and she looked all around her. But, as per usual, it was in vain, given that the table and chair was all she could see.

"Who...who are you?"

A deep laughter followed.

"I am the one in charge, that's who. I have brought you here, Princess Twilight, to this domain of my choosing, and here things will go according to my design!"

Gradually, Twilight narrowed her eyes.


Again, a hearty chuckle followed that.

"Hardly! But trust me, he'll get his chance in this place sooner or later."

Twilight gulped, realising that, whoever this was, they were indeed the one in control of the situation. So, for the moment, she played the part of the diplomat.

"Look, Mister...whoever you are. I don't know what it is you want, but I promise you, I mean you no harm."

Silence followed for a few minutes, and when it ended, the voice spoke in a more jovial tone than before.

"Oh, I'm well aware of that, Miss Sparkle. And I assure you, I mean you no harm either. I simply brought you here for a task of great importance."

Twilight raised an eyebrow.


The mysterious voice drew a breath, a sure sign that something grand and epic was about to be said.

"I am going...to set you up on a date!"

The silence that followed was so great that you could hear a pin drop, as Twilight simply stared into the shadows around her. The look on her face made it obvious to anypony that she didn't quite believe what she'd just heard, which was further reinforced when she finally spoke up.

"Um...I don't think I quite understood that."

Another laugh followed.

"It's quite simple, my dear. I am going to use my grand and limitless powers to set you up on a date. Then, when it's done, I'm going to do the same to somepony else, and then another and another and so on."

Twilight blinked slowly.


"Well...you know those kids who hold little toys of their favourite characters together and tell them to kiss because they think it's cute?"

Twilight nodded, prompting the voice to continue.

"Well, think of it like that, but with real people."

As one would expect, this led to Twilight slapping her forehead in frustration.

"Ugh! That...that is...the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard anypony using their overwhelming power for!"

The voice above gave a snort to that.

"What, stranger than re-writing history or making it rain chocolate? Or, perhaps, using magic to make everyone obsessed with a doll?"

That last one caused Twilight to open her mouth and point up in an accusing manner, ready to denounce those claims. But, as she let the words sink in, she lowered her hoof, turning away from the voice in a huff, much to the latter's satisfaction.

"Yeah, thought so."

Looking back up, Twilight frowned.

"So...I'm going to be stuck here to go on a bunch of dates with complete strangers for your amusement?"

"Oh no! It won't just be you! And I can promise you right here that there'll be plenty you know and like that you'll be having dates with."

Twilight raised another eyebrow.


After a moment, the voice laughed.

"Well, I'm glad you asked."

Twilight hung her head low.

"Which means I'm not going to be."

Slowly, she started to slink off in the direction of the table, and soon, she was once more seated next to it. After tapping her hoof on it in an impatient manner, she let out a long sigh.

"Okay...let's get this over with."

The unseen voice, after hearing that, let out a noise that could only be described as a "squee", much to Twilight's irritation.

"Alrighty, Princess! Your first date of our little adventure is...!"

Next Chapter: Twilight and Mayor Mare Estimated time remaining: 15 Minutes
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