*They need a tag for 'divine comedies' lulz. Okay, ima shut up now.*

"Well now what are we gonna do?"

"Everything that we used to do, but with a hint of brony in it."

"What did we do before this show?"

"I don't know, I can't remember. Has this show really impacted our lives this much?"

"Yeah, remember how I told you I got like 40 books at a thrift store after Christmas?"

"Yeah, what about them?"

"Haven't read a single one."

It was one of those days. You know which ones I'm talking about. It's a slow day, but not in a grinding fashion, more in a sliding fashion, like surfing on honey. You were supposed to mow the lawn, go on a walk, clean around the house and do all those things you said you would get done later before noon. Yet here you are, 7:30 in the afternoon and not a single thing done. The burnt orange sun looks down dissaprovingly from the sky, and you notice it looks kind of like the yolk of an egg. Then again, this isn't a story about you, this story is about this chump...

"The sun kind of looks like a yolk doesn't it? The way that the white clouds are crowded around it."

His name is Dante. And of course he's one of those bronies.

"Yeah I guess."

This other kid is named Greg, but he plays a very minor role in this story, so don't really pay attention to anything he has to say. Well, he does play some sort of role.

You see Greg here first introduced Dante to the slice of heaven that is My Little Pony Friendship is Magic. Dante, despite his previous assumptions, became enthralled with the show and joined the following, like 99% of people who come across the show. It was now the Sunday after the Season 2 finale, which gave them the ultimate 40 minute ecstacy swiftly followed by a 24 hour depression, at the temporary loss of their weekly fix of friendship.

"And now we have all summer to wait for the next 26 episodes. And the entire time the only thing we have to hold us over is fan made material and some memes." Greg said with a solemn tone in his voice.

"It won't be that bad, I hear that they are going to release some new pony toys. And we can always work on that fanfic we were going to do." Dante said trying to reassure his friend.

"Oh yeah! We should work on that now! "

I seem to have forgotten to mention the setting, they are currently at Greg's apartment, about fifteen minutes away from Mr. Dante's house. They are sitting on a stained tan carpet searching for a remedy to their boredom. Greg and Dante weren't boring people, they were just proffesional procrastinators. If they weren't they would be in a band, have organized rooms, and be 10 chapters into that fanfiction they were talking about. Well, better late than never.

"I already know what I'm going to do when I get their." Dante said leaning against Greg's bed.

"Oh really? What are you going to do?"

"Well first, I would travel to Ponyville of course, and once I was their I would probably move into Twilight's library. That way I could get close to her and stuff."

"I'm worried about the 'and stuff' part, and do you really believe it would be that easy?"

"Of course it would be! They accepted a minotaur into their town right? And a zebra."

"After years of ostricizing her like a plauge victim."

"Yeah, but still, they'll like me. How could they not with my irresistible charm and dashing good looks?"

"Ha! Your funny. What else would you do?"

"I might join the royal guard. I'm pretty sure they would want a big strong biped with fingers."

"Well then you better start working out, because your not stopping shit."

"Hey! "

"I'm just saying, they have to deal with crazy ass monsters from all corners of the world that are constantly trying to enslave them, steal their shadows, their youth, their love. Literally all hate is directed towards the ponies."

"Whatever."

" I'm just wondering if you would be able to protect Twi."

"Well if not, she is one of the most powerful unicorns that has ever lived. She lifted a bear the size of a three story building. Anyway back to the fic, you should probably be writing this down."

Greg stood up and grabbed a notebook from his desk and a pen. He scratched it on the paper to get the ink to appear and then started writing down Dante's fantasy.
Dante went on rambling about how he would entice Twilight into a romantic relationship, and become all of the mane six's best friend. He talked about how he would gain the trust of Princess Celestia and appeal to the bourgeoisie of Canterlot. How he would be the first non-pony to join and win the Iron Pony competition. How he would impress all the stallions with his strength during Winter Wrap-up, drink the most during cider season, and ask Twilight to be his special somepony on Hearts and Hooves Day. Greg wrote it all down, shaking his head most of the time. Dante didn't notice, he was too encapsulated in his equine Utopia. Dante rambled on for so long that he lost track of time. The hours had melted away and it was already nearing midnight. Dante said his goodbyes and headed out the door.

"Man, this story is going to be great! I can't wait to write..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"...and it was here, late last night around midnight that a young man, now identified as Dante Morrison, was shot and killed by a man who police are still identifying. The alleged killer was believed to be high on crack cocaine at the time of the shooting. The police have stated that there was no struggle between the victim and the shooter, and it seems that the shooter came from behind and shot the Morrison in the back of the head without Mr. Morrison even realizing he was there.Mr. Morrison was visiting Greg Myers, a close friend of his, who pursued the shooter until he shot him in the arm. A neighbor heard the gunshots and called the police and attended to Myers' wound.Myers had this to say: "
"He was my best friend in the whole world and now hes gone! I loved him like a brother. I swear, I'm gonna find that son of a bitch and throw him in jail if its the last thing I do! I'm gonna miss that guy, but I know he's in a better place now."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"...it. WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!"
Dante was shocked beyond description. One moment he was walking to his car, and the next he was in a giant long boat. It looked like something you would picture vikings riding in. He was in a singular seat almost to the back of the boat. There were at least 40 other people on board, and a man of giant proportions in a long white robe with light illuminating from his head was rowing the entire boat by himself. Dante looked across the deep dark blue water and saw dozens of other longboats all coming into the same port. When Dante saw the port he looked up to where it led to. He saw the tallest mountain he had ever seen, so tall that he couldn't even see the top of it, it was shrouded by a thick layer of clouds. Spiraling up the mountain was a smooth path that flattened out at intervals up the mountain. The mountain wasn't rough, jagged and crumbly like most mountains. It's structure looked resembled a wedding cake, with repeating flat layers getting smaller as they ascend.

"Hey! Boy, how did you get here?"

Dante turned to his left to see a shaggy looking man in a brown overcoat and trousers and balding hair.

"Um... I don't know, I was walking towards my car and next thing I know, I'm here. Do you know where we are anyway?"

"Oh, I see, You were murdered. Pity, you look like such a young fellow."

Dante felt like he had just got the wind knocked out of him. He turned pale and slumped back in his seat and stared straight forward at nothing in particular and let the thought sink in.

"I...I...I was.... murdered?"

"Yeah probably. You weren't doing drugs or playing with guns were you?" the shaggy man said obviously unaffected by the thought of being murdered.

"No, no! I was just walking like I said!"

"Yep, you were probably shot dead. Me, I drowned. It was the darndest thing too. I was on a cruise by myself having the time of my life. The wife didn't come because she watched a lot of news all the time and heard about cruise liners always sinking and losing power at sea. Boy do I wish I listened to her now. Oh well, she won't feel so bad once she finds out about all I've left her. That reminds of a story, this one time me and my wife..."

Dante didn't hear a single word of the story, he was just wrapping his head around his situation. He was dead, he was in a strange boat with a strange man, and he was fucking dead.

Dante awoke from his trance when he was jolted from his seat, sending his face smashing into the one in front of him. Luckily the man in front of him was asleep.

"Ow! Damn it!"

"Whoa, hey there son, better watch your language in a place like this. Well nice talking to you Mr...?"

"Oh sorry. It's Dante, Dante Morrison."

"Ha! What a coincidence!" The shaggy man said as started walking towards the front of the boat where all the passengers were exiting.

"What coincidence?" Dante thought to himself as he got of the boat.

Dante started walking towards the base of the mountain. He had a hard time seeing anything, with all the people getting of the boats and crowding around him, but he saw walked looked like an airport security line. Another thing he noticed, the rowers, the security guards, and all the workers and equipment on the island were colored white, and the entire area where they were in seemed a little brighter than normal. After shoving through all the people on the beach, he somehow ended up in a line, where he waited for what seemed like days, but the sun never shifted and his legs didn't get tired. When he finally reached the security gate, he was greeted by another tall man, who looked like he could be the brother of the man rowing his boat. He picked up a clipboard and dipped a quill in ink.

"State your name." The man said.

Dante jumped at the sound of the man's deep austere voice. "Um... I...I..." Dante cleared his throat and continued.
"My name is Dante sir."

The man looked up from his clipboard with a suprised expression. "Your not THE Dante are you?"

Dante was confused for a moment but then his eyes widened and circled around and looked at his surroundings. Dante then remembered a book he read in his 10th grade english class. A divine comedy. And then it hit him. His hand... because he face palmed.

"OH MY GOD! I'm in Purgatory!!!!!"

"Oh no, I'm not God, I'm just one of his servants, but yes, you are in Purgatory. Back to my question, you wouldn't happen to be the Dante who has visited here before would you? Are you hear naturally this time? You look like you've gotten younger."

"No, I'm a different Dante, but... did I really die?"

"Of course you did, the other Dante was the only one aloud access to Purgatory without dying. In fact it says here that you were shot in the back of the head by a drug addict and you died instantly before you could even realize what had happened."

Dante went pale again and fell to his knees. He thought he would start crying, but instead he felt peaceful. The more he accepted his situation the more calm he felt. The man pulled him to his feet and said,

"Now I know this must feel scary to you, but you really need to answer these questions. If I let everyone who broke down have a nice long cry, you'd be in that line for weeks. "

Dante stood up and waited for the man to continue.

"Okay, Dante ...?"

"Morrison."

"Alright, Dante Morrison, 5'10, 167 lbs, 17 years of age, brown hair and eyes, detached earlobs, white, stage fright, fear of heights, darkness..."

Dante could hear laughing behind him. "Hey Mister, do you have to read everything about me?"

"Yes I do, There are a lot of people that come here, so we have to as specific as possible. I apologize if your embarrased."

The man went on for another minute or so, and ended with, ".... and an avid fan of My Little Pony Friendship is Magic."

At this last statement, everyone within earshot burst out laughing. Dante's face turned a deep red, as the man looked up to see why the people were laughing.

"Was it something I said?"

"Yeah but lets just get this over with." Dante said hunching with his hands in his pockets.

"Very well then, I need you to come over here with me." Dante walked with the man over to the base of the mountain. The man led him down a path leading into the mountain, and out of the view of the people in line.

"I don't remember this in the book."

"Oh! so old Dante did write that book after all! Well yes, this wasn't in the book because this is a new renovation. This was made specifically for people of your calibur." Dante gave the man a puzzled look as the man continued.

"With the recent creation of the group of people known as bronies, I think, we have created this cave in the mountain as a special section of Purgatory for them. Why do they recieve special treatment you ask? They are favored for their acceptance and friendliness to all people. I think the motto goes 'tolerate and love'? Something like that. And for their humanitarian activism. Selflessness like that is uncommon in your world, at least currently. Anyway, as a token of our appreciation we send these bronies to the land of the ponies that is shown in the show. After they've died, they return hear to Purgatory and are put into their respective areas of the mountain."

"...You've got to be kidding me."

"No, but I do know a good joke."

"I don't want to hear..."

"Knock, knock!"

Dante gave a frustrated sigh. "Who's there." he said sounding annoyed.

"Your rich uncle!"

"My rich uncle who?"

"You won't be saying that when I'm dead!"

"...Okay I guess that joke wasn't that bad."

"You got it? Yes! None of the other guys get it. Okay, well we can't hold up the line forever, in you go!"

"Wait! Will there be other bronies there?"

"I don't know, this is my first time using this thing, I don't know if there are other bronies in there or if your in your own personal Ponyland, but there is 100,000 people out their waiting for eternity to start, so good luck!"

With that the large man struck a rock with his foot and a vibrant rainbow portal opened up in a depression in the wall, just large enough for a person to fit through. Then the man picked Dante up and threw him through the portal. Dante went hurtling down, he was mesmerized by the shfting colors around him, he fell and he fell and then he hit his head and his world turned silent and dark and motionless.
~
"Knock, knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Daniel Baldwin."
"Daniel Baldwin who?"
"Figures."
"See that's where you lose me. I just don't get it."
"Nevermind, I'm just not going to tell you guys jokes anymore."
~

First he heard sounds. The sound of the wind in the trees, the sound of a city of in the distance. He could hear the faint sounds of wheels on gravel, and clanking steel, and he even thought he heard a train whistle. Then, he slowly he opened his eyes. He saw grass blades flowing past his face, and he saw insects in the ground crawling and eating. Unfortunately, Mr. Morrison isn't a fan of bugs.

"AH! GET OFF GET OFF GET OFF!" Dante shouted as he stood up and slapped and swiped and shook any bugs off.
It was then that all the memories of the events in Purgatory came rushing back into his mind like a river, and he started smiling ,and then he started laughing hysterically. He jumped up and down and started dancing and then he turned around to identify his location. His smile dropped and he stopped dancing.

"Aw fuck. It's Canterlot."

Dante assumed he was about a mile and a half away from Canterlot, and the journey to Ponyville which he had intended would be too far, and it was already getting dark. So, without any money or clothes, or any plan of what he was going to do when he got there, he started walking towards Canterlot. The sky was turning a mixture of purple and orange and the sun looked like it would be completely out of view in a few hours. While Dante was walking he reached in his pockets to see if there was anything the man had put into them. All he found was a note written in cursive. The note said:

Dear Dante,
I am sorry to rush you into Ponytopia so fast, but I had to attend to the other souls. I would have given you some supplies but I was short on time, and I thought since you were a young man back into the land of the living, you would do fine on your own! You don't have any physical advantages, and your body is in the same shape as it was on Earth before you were killed. So try not to get killed again any time soon! I'll have plenty more jokes for you when you get back!
Sincerely,

Where the man's name was supposed to be there was a large ink blotch. Dante, feeling uneasy about the man's lighthearted statement about his death, sighed and kept on walking. He began talking to himself about his master plan to take Canterlot by storm.

"Okay, so what I should do first is find a way to sneak around the businesses and make my way to the palace. and from there I can... no that won't work. Chances are, there are guards surrounding the castle. I don't really know any ponies in Canterlot who would take in a strange homeless human. Well, I can't make it to Ponyville before nightfall, and I don't know how dangerous it is here at night..."

"THINK FAST CHUMP!"

Before Dante could find the source of the voice he was knocked into the ground and had a mouthfull of dirt. He felt sharp stinging pains in his side, and then a heavy weight on him. He looked up and saw two stallion pegasi kicking him in his sides and one one his back holding him down.

"Hey freak! You wouldn't mind helping out some poor pegasi get some cider tonight would you?" said the dark green pegasi on top of him. Dante pushed him off, spat out the dirt in his mouth and looked at him and his two comrades. He made sure to memorize their appearances in detail so he could report them to the police. The one on top of him had a lighter green mane and two snake eyes for a cutie mark. The one to the left of him had a burgandury coat with a purple mane and a silver shield on his flank, and the one on his right had a light grey coat with a black mane and a typewriter cutie mark. To their suprise Dante started laughing.

"Hey! What are you laughing at!"

Dante caught his breath, wiped a tear from his eye and answered them. " You really think those bandanas are going to help conceal who you guys are?"

The three muggers looked at each other, the two ones the side of the green pony started panicking.

"Oh man! I didn't think about that! Man I don't want to go to Celestia's dungeon!" The red pony said.

"What if all the stories are right? What if she does... Bad Luck you said this would be an easy job!" The gray pony said.

"Don't give away my name! Aw, now we've got to kill him!" said the green pony, who is apparently named Bad Luck.

Dante started backing away from the ponies, his heart started beating faster and he felt sweat building up on his brow.He looked up at the ponies with a look of agression and clenched fists.

"I'm not going down without a fight."

All of the sudden they all looked towards the right, away from Canterlot. Dante could hear what sounded like fast galloping coming his way, and the turning wheels of a cart.

"Bad luck, come on! Let's get out of here!" The burgandury pony said.
The green pony stamped a hoof and frustration and gave a Dante a vicious look.

"You better not tell anyone about this! Or you'll... you'll be sorry you did!" Bad Luck shouted as he and his partners were flying away.

Dante watched them fly off for a moment, and then he got on his feet and turned to see who, or what was headed his way. He saw a tall muscular stallion with a chocolate coat and a short periwinkle mane. pulling a carriage resembling a taxi cab, and kicking up a lot of dust. The stallion came to a halt in front of Dante, blowing all the dust in his face. Dante coughed and wheezed and covered his eyes. When the dust had cleared, he noticed the stallion had been staring at him for a while. The two of them stood their for a moment in silence.
"Need a lift kid?"

~Well.
I got that off of my chest. Now I can work on the Derpy story. I'm still going to work on this, but at least now I can shift back in forth between the two, and not get bored of one, and end up getting writers block. I've read a handful of HIE fics recently and I wanted to do a story that was a might different than the others, and you'll find out why soon. Now about the other story, I'll work on that now, and then whenever I'm done with that I will do a chapter for this story. And we shall go back in forth until something crazy happens and then Stephen King will write a MLP fanfic and it will be so epic that it will be a book in stores and we shall all read it. Eh, this could be better.~