Twilight cursed her own foalishness. Why?! Why had she run?! Why was she still running?! Only spies caught red-hoofed run!

Oh, right.

At least she hadn't been caught. Not yet, anyway.

She had to keep it that way.

Twilight charged her hooves with a water-walking spell, using it to race across the plaza's fountain. Golden splashes of steamy water fountained in her wake. She glanced over her withers. The guards were forced to split around the fountain, taking the long way around. She would have smiled in triumph if her hooves weren't starting to roast with walking on the steamy hot spring water. "Ooh! Ah! Argh!" She hopped, skipped and jumped the rest of the way, wincing as she landed on the cobblestone on her burnt hoofsies.

She had gained some distance, but the guards were fitter athletes than she. They were gaining. Two pegasi had split off to fly over the fountain, flanking her from either side for a pincer-grab. She lit up her horn, stealing a page out of Starlight's book and supercharging her levitation spell to lift herself. She only managed to keep it up for a second, but it was the second she needed to launch herself into the air as the two pegasi slammed into one another beneath her. The pegasi ball rolled across the cobblestones before slamming into a stone ledge beneath her.

"Gotcha~" She trilled as she sailed off ahead of them. 'Wait, what was that ledge they ran into?' Panic suddenly struck as she realized it was the plaza's railing, and she had sailed clear past it.

She looked down.

She quickly regretted it.

Below was the deep chasm beyond the plaza's edge. Golden hot spring river poured down from the plaza's rim towards the glimmering lights in the depths below.

She treaded air as she tried to spread her wings. Her wing muscles struck resistance. She looked around and cursed herself, realizing she was still wearing the saddlebags she had strapped around her wings as part of her disguise. Twilight's horn sparked as she tried to get enough of a bearing to attempt a teleport. She squeaked as she realized she was falling too fast in unknown territory for an effective teleportation spell. She desperately tugged at the saddlebag straps with her hooves and magic. She groaned as she realized she had strapped them on all too tightly in her earlier zeal.

She gasped tearfully as the hopelessness of her situation struck her. This was how she was going to die - falling in an alien realm, never truly fulfilling her mission.

She felt something flap in the rushing air against her tearful cheeks. She raised a tremulous forehoof up to clutch it. She gazed down at it through teary eyes. It was the collar tag, shaped in the form of an electrocardiogram pattern.

She hadn't even thought about it when she chose it. She felt a sob well up as she clutched the padlock in both hoofsies, pulling it tight against her heart.

How she wished it was him she could clutch.

A sudden bark of thunder.

Twilight clutched the nearest available thing in fright. Unfortunately, it was the pony she was drawing the hospital carriage with. "Wh-whoah!" The stallion gasped as he fell over sideways under her weight, pulling the carriage off the road with them.

"Meeep!" Twilight squeaked loudly. The last thing she felt was a set of hooves curling tightly around her before her entire world went tumbling. There was a loud thump, a crash, then silence.

The alicorn groaned where she lay in the dirt. She screwed her eyes as she felt the first telltale raindrop flake across her muzzle. "Ugh," she opened her eyes blearily, as she tried to feel the ground beneath her. Then the pain struck her. Her rearhoof seared with agony. She cried out into the dirt as tears blotted out her vision once more. "M-my hoof!" She groaned, "I-I c-can't move," she looked about in panic as she realized she was out in the middle of nowhere somewhere between Fluttershy's cottage and Ponyville. She was too far from Fluttershy's cottage to hobble there, she didn't know the forest well enough to attempt a teleport, and there was no way her sick and bedbound pegasus friend could come help her.

She was well and truly in trouble.

"N-no..." she began to sniffle as the rain and despair slowly but surely began to overwhelm her. It never got to take over, however, as it was suddenly overthrown by another thought. She gave a sudden gasp, slapping herself mentally for almost forgetting her companion who for all she knew could be even worse off. "D-Doctor Horse! A-are you okay?" She cried, looking about for the stallion she had dragged out to see her sick friend. "D-doctor Horse? Are you hurt?" She bit down a wince as she reached out and pulled herself across the grass towards where the cart had struck a tree further up the little hillock. "Doctor Horse! I-I'll help you! Just..."

"Leave worrying about others to the professional, Twilight. I've got a license." Twilight's ears perked up at the forced chuckle. "Now, clench your teeth. This might sting." She winced as a ticklish magical field took hold of her injured hoof. She sighed in relief as the pain slowly melted away in the magical spell. The numbness made it impossible to move, but at least it was no longer as maddeningly painful. "You're going to be alright." She felt something lever her off the ground before raising her into the air. A little squeak escaped her lips as she realized it was her stallion companion, lifting her up onto his back with his neck. "Hold on. I want to get us out from the rain at least," the chestnut brown stallion grunted, wincing visibly as he took the first step up the hillock towards the crashed cart.

"D-Doctor Horse, your hoof!" Twilight gasped, noticing the limp in the stallion's rear hoof, "You're hurt!"

"I used the same spell on myself. The oath said nothing about self-medicating," he grimaced as he carried her through the rain.

"The oath also says no lying. You wouldn't be able to move that hoof with that spell on!" Twilight pointed out.

"Do you want a second opinion? You're also loud," Doctor Horse chuckled lightly, crawling on his belly to fit them both beneath the cart's shelter.

"D-Doctor! The mud!" Twilight gasped, noticing him press himself into the rainwater puddling in the dirt to fit them both beneath the cart. "L-let me climb off at least!"

"And ruin my grand scheme to wear you as a blanket?" Doctor Horse chuckled. "You make a bad patient, Twilight. Bad blanket too. At least you're warm."

Twilight felt her face glow red hot in the darkness beneath the cart. "I-I can see why p-ponies would rather have apples than doctors." She huffed under her breath.

"Such a blanket statement," Doctor Horse laughed at her blush, "Well, I can tell you now, they're missing out. Apples can't perform surgery, play golf or tell bad jokes."

Twilight was barely able to suppress a giggle-snort at that. "It's Monday, I'm stuck under a broken cart in the rain, and it's still Monday down here. How are you still able to make me laugh?" Twilight chuckled, helplessly.

"My job is to entertain my patients while they get better. I am pretty good at my job, if I do say so myself." He chuckled along with her. "Keep'em positive, hope they test negative." He paused as if noticing something. "Twilight, you have something you want to tell me?"

"O-oh, uh, h-how did you know?" Twilight gave sheepish little pony-squee. "Is it another doctor skill?"

"No, I just felt you fidget against my back," he replied, simply, "And now I can feel you blushing against my back."

"S-s-stop that!" Twilight laughed helplessly, "Y-you're doing it again!"

"What again?" Doctor Horse grinned.

"M-making me forget that it's Monday and we're stuck under a broken cart in the rain." Twilight barely managed to wheeze in between chuckles. "Thank you, Doc." She said, her giggles finally settling into a grateful smile. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Get away without having to pay a bill, mostly." Doc shrugged to more laughter. "This one time, I was just about to pay off my own hospital bill at Manehattan General Hospital when they told me they weren't even expecting me to pay because somepony had declared me dead. Apparently they couldn't hear me telling bad jokes anymore and assumed the worst, and..."

Twilight would forever remember that as entry no. 11, variant 1, in her comprehensive catalogue of Doctor Horse jokes. It would still be 221 entries until she realized she was in love, 461 entries until they became coltfriend and fillyfriend. But no.11 was where it all began.

....And catalogue entry no. 4999 would be the last.

If only she had stayed at that cafe just a minute, a second longer, just to be with him for even one more moment, she could have ended on entry no. 5000. Perhaps she could have hugged him for the 132nd time. Or perhaps she could have told him she loved him a 2nd time. Perhaps she could have kissed him for the first time. Perhaps she would never have left. And perhaps he wouldn't remain the last regret in her life.

If only...

"TwiiiiiiLLLLIIIIGGHHHT I'M COMIIIIII...!"

Twilight's heart leaped. That voice! Dare she hope?!

"....IIIIIIiiiiiiiiiiiiing...." Something wrapped in a light blue magical glow zoomed past her, free-falling like a brick if bricks were regularly shot out of cannons. "But I missed!" He notified her, just in case.

"I noticed!" Twilight watched as the stallion spread his hooves like a sail, slowing his descent to match hers. "What are you doing here?!" She demanded as she drew level with him.

"Oh, just dropping in. What?" The chestnut brown stallion frowned at her tearful glare, "It wasn't a medical pun!" Doctor Horse chuckled, his usual bright emerald eyes and foalish grin no different even at terminal velocity.

"No, it wasn't medical, it was terrible!" Twilight wailed, "I'm falling to death and you join me just to make terrible puns while we fall to death together!"

"Twilight," he sighed, clasping his hooves about her withers tightly, "It's not the pun's fault. Puns don't kill."

Twilight gaped at him. "Wh-why are you so always so calm?!"

"Because regardless of whether or not I die, Rarity is going to kill me. That wasn't even a paradox," he said, simply, pulling Twilight tightly against himself, curling one forehoof around her collar. "Now, hold on tight, please, like my life depends on it. Because it does and I'm certain Rarity would prefer killing me firsthoof." Twilight did as she was told, clutching him tightly. "Here goes everything!" He pushed a catch on the side of her collar. Twilight felt the band around her neck suddenly loosen with a loud click. "Three....two....two and a half..." He continued holding onto the catch. A second later her padlock snapped. Twilight felt a telltale ripple of a magical spell burst forth from it. The magic wrapped about her body, unbuckling her hoof straps, bell, even the saddle. But most of all, she felt the saddlebag strap snap open and release her poor wings. Her wings instinctively fanned open, throwing the two ponies into a high-speed glide.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Twilight shrieked as she fought to pull up against the momentum propelling them downwards.

"Calm down, Twilight. I can panic enough for two," Doctor Horse mumbled weakly, clutching Twilight around her neck tightly.

"W-we..." Twilight felt a squee of hope rise as they began to soar upwards. "We're alive!"

"Ulp, perhaps living's not such a good idea after all," the poor doctor groaned as the g-forces disagreed with his dinner.

"Doctor Horse, we're alive!" Twilight squeed, squeezing her stallion tightly as they flew up alongside the golden waterfalls.

"I know!" Doctor Horse wailed, losing the struggle against his dinner, "P-please, I-I'll be a good pony. J-just put me down," he pleaded as they finally reached the plaza's edge.

"T-Twilight! Horseykins!" The familiar face of a certain alabaster unicorn peered down at them over the plaza's railing, her tearful eyes a picture of fear and relief.

"R-Rarity?" Twilight gasped on seeing her other special somepony waiting for them. As happy as she was to see her fillyfriend, she couldn't help but wonder why she was there. Come to think of it, she hadn't even questioned why Doctor Horse was there to save her to begin with. Or how he knew how her collar operated.

Before Twilight could dwell upon it any further, her thoughts were interrupted by a wail of desperation. "Y-you two are aliiiivee!" Rarity sobbed with relief. "I'M. GOING. TO. END. YOU TWO!" Rarity, Element of Rational Thought, shrieked.

"Actually, no, don't put me down," Doctor Horse squeaked at the sight of her fillyfriend's vengeful wrath, "Please! Please, I'll be a good pony, just don't put me down! NO! NOOOO!"

Author's Notes:

Sorry there wasn't any clop this time, but I felt it was important to give the romantic love interest a little more character than a cardboard cutout.

I totally didn't skip a lot of that just to get to all the clocktower clop. Nope. Not at all.