It was friday morning, and I was chilling in the office with the newspaper before any of my employees showed up. The front page of the had a piece on the official introduction of the 5 bit coin, and to my great pleasure, it didn't mention me at all, instead saying that the citizen who proposed the idea wished to remain anonymous. The second page wasn't quite as pleasing to my tastes, as it had a big article about me and my date with Shamrock at Grill 32. I skipped over that article and one about unusual weather that was happening near a place called Ghastly Gorge and browsed other titles. "Another mysterious arson. That's what, at least the fifth one? I hope they catch the little firebug soon."

After grabbing and going through the mail, the bulk of which was from fans, it was time to start getting fired up for another day at the grill.

The grill was busy as usual. In the days since Shamrock's sudden departure, I'd managed to sort myself out, moved on, and had a plan for when he came back. He still held a place in my heart, but I was planning on going forward as I always had: business first, followed by dealing with whatever the nobles threw at me.

As always, Spike was helping out with the drinks, and doing a spectacular job of it. Asada decided to be lazy and just lay around on the patio which was apparently enough for her to earn free ear scratches and morsels from the guests. “The Lazy Life of Asada. That sounds like a good sitcom title. It would probably only last one season, though. Not much spice or variety there. Maybe a newspaper comic?”

Being the one and only grillmaster had some unique perks, though the pay wasn’t one of them. Fresh air and sunlight aside, it let me listen in on what my guests were talking about. The trinity known in town as the Flower Trio caught my attention. “So Flitter was out near the gorge yesterday and she saw this purple stuff oozing out of the bottom of it. Even from her cloud, she could smell it,” Roseluck said.

“Smelly ooze?” Daisy asked.

“Shmooze?” Lily drunkenly asked. For whatever reason, she had decided to hit the hard stuff and was halfway through her second shot glass. It was also a safe bet to say she wasn’t so much a lightweight with her liquor as she was a paperweight.

“Yeah, it was just bubbling up from the ground,” Roseluck continued. “And the whole area was really quiet. Cloudkicker dropped her pencil and they heard it hit the ground.”

“From their cloud?” Daisy skeptically asked. “I don’t believe it.”

“She did!” Roseluck insisted. “Flitter went down to get it and got a better look and smelled the ooze. It glows in the daylight and smells worse than a week old pile of our expired flowers.”

I flipped a burger. “That doesn’t sound so bad.”

Lily downed the last half of her second shot glass. “Where’sh shlee?”

“Sick in the hospital,” Roseluck solemnly responded. “Like, really sick. And Lily, I’m cutting you off.”

“Nuuu~” Lily moaned before her eyes closed and she fell asleep right there.

“That sounds bad. I hope I don’t have to help with it.” I went back to the grill, praying I wouldn’t be needed.

Twilight barged into the kitchen. “Yang, we have a problem and could really use your help with it!”

I sighed and set the knife I was cutting vegetables with down. “Why is it always when I’m cutting veggies?” I muttered before turning to the local princess with a sigh. “So, how can I help you?” I asked with all the faux cheer I could muster.

“I’ll explain outside, just hurry!” She rushed out of the kitchen and went towards the main doors.

I turned to the kitchen staff and shrugged. “Well, it sounds like an emergency. Dunno when I’ll be back.”

“We got this,” Gavan reported.

“Thanks.” With no further words, I left the kitchen, went up to my room, used the buckle to change to the combat outfit, then jumped out the window and went around to the front, where Twilight was standing. “Before you tell me anything, do I need Bumblebee?”

“Your bike? It would help a lot.” Twilight followed me back to the shed. “So there’s been this purple sludge leaking from the ground near ghastly gorge recently, and it’s very dangerous stuff. Ten ponies who smelled it from the edge of the gorge are now in the hospital, and they are very sick. The royal guard is patrolling the area and keeping anyone unauthorized away.”

The talk from the trio came back to my mind. “How sick?”

“Flitter’s been dry heaving nearly to the point of asphyxiation today. She was the first exposed to it at that level. The rest aren’t much better, and none of them can keep any food down.”

I opened the shed and wheeled Bumblebee out. “And we’re going to get that close?”

“Well, yes. But we will have masks. I was hoping for hazmat suits, but there aren’t any available, which I find really odd. So, the masks are the best I could get on such short notice.”

“I don’t think there are any in my size, anyways,” I remarked as I closed the doors and got on the bike, Twilight quick to join me. Normally, I would have objected, but at that moment, I didn’t care, instead just revving up and taking off towards the castle.

A whole squad of pegasus guards with a large, six wheeled carriage were waiting for us at the entrance to the castle. At Twilight’s direction, given to me by magical purple arrows on the ground, I slowed down and eased Bumblebee into the open rear of the huge carriage. After turning the bike off, Twilight and I got off. As she closed the rear ramp/door, I looked at the other cargo in the back. “What’s all this for?”

“I’m hoping to secure a set of samples of sludge to study. If I can figure out what it’s made of, I might be able to come up with a treatment for those affected by it.”

“Ah, that’s nice.” The carriage bumped a bit as it took off, and we were soon on our way. “Is there anything else I need to know?”

Twilight went to a box of notebooks in the middle of the carriage and pulled one out, flipping some folded pages open to reveal zigzag lines on a chart. “There’s been reports of seismic activity in the area. Nothing big, barely enough to rattle a stack of plates a mile away, but it’s been constant for nearly a week. Whatever’s happening there, it’s really big, really dangerous, and has never been seen before.” A thought seemed to cross her mind as she looked off into the short distance between her and the wall. “Or it could be one of Those things that Celestia and Luna had to seal away, it’s waking up, and is making its way to the surface.”

“I hope it isn’t.”

“Same here.” Twilight put the book away and opened up another box, pulling out two gas masks with large visors. “While we’re on the way, let me get a mask into shape for you. It won’t be as good as Rarity’s work, but it will do.”

I went towards one of the benches at the front and lay down. “No sense in wasting time, then.”

After landing, Twilight got out first, immediately talking with someone. While she was talking, I rolled Bumblebee out. I could feel a slight vibration in the ground, but it didn't seem to actually do anything to me.

"-and we haven't had anyone try to get past us," a unicorn guard said. "The worst we've had so far was a group of rambunctious foals, but a few barriers and a stern lecture on what was going on was enough to send them off."

"Thank you, Captain," Twilight said. "Yang and I will be getting samples of the sludge so I can figure out an antidote. We have masks, so we should be fine."

"Just masks?"

"I couldn't find any hazmat suits."

"And they don't make any in my size," I added.

"That too, I suppose." Twilight floated our masks out, along with a set of saddlebags. I caught my mask as it went by and the bags went around Twilight's body.

“I’ll get three pegasi to watch you from the sky.”

“I don’t think that’s necessary,” Twilight said as I started putting my mask on. “I think one pegasus watching will be enough. Keep the others on their lookout. The last thing we need is an innocent getting too close.”

“Of course, Princess.” The captain’s horn flashed a couple times, likely sending out a message to a pegasus. “Good luck."

"Thank you, Captain." Twilight quickly secured her mask and joined me as I got back on Bumblebee. In short order, we passed the guard and were on our way to the ghastly gorge.

The mile long trip took only a couple minutes. I could have gone faster, but the shaking ground deterred that notion pretty easily. After parking near the edge, leaving Bumblebee running, I went with Twilight over to the edge of the gorge and looked down. The whole bottom was covered in a purple sludge that seemed to ebb and flow almost as if it were alive. Parts of it seemed to glow as well, the light moving around randomly. "That looks really nasty," I casually remarked.

Twilight opened her saddlebags and levitated out at least a dozen test tubes from each one, along with corks. "It is nasty." The vials flew down, scooped up some of the sludge, came back up, and were quickly secured with the corks. "That should be enough samples. Oh, before we go back, there's an experiment you can help me with right now."

"Yeah?" I gently picked one of the vials out of Twilight's magic with no resistance while the others went in her bags.

"I need to know how it reacts to heat." The cork on the vial was pulled out, and the stuff inside was exposed.

"Just say when." I adjusted my grip so my hand was around the bottom half of the tube.

A flash of purple later, and Twilight's eyes had a glow to them. "Gently increase the heat."

I did as Twilight asked, putting some heat through my hand to warm up the sludge. We both watched it as it did nothing for a while. Eventually, it started to bubble, slowly and with a gross sound. "Talk about a hands on chemistry experiment." As it got warmer and warmer, purple steam started coming off of it, and the sludge started becoming silvery. After some time, it stopped releasing the steam, and was just a bubbling silvery liquid.

"Alright, ease the heat off."

I started pulling the magic back, the stuff quickly coming down to a simmer before solidifying, becoming a solid hunk of silver stuff in the tube. "So, is this a silver based liquid?"

"It's not silver, I can tell you that." The vial in my hand was gently taken out, corked, and set in the saddlebags before a fresh one was opened and levitated in front of me. "See if you can set fire to this one."

"Okay." I conjured a small fireball and dropped it into the tube. The stuff caught fire very quickly, and soon burned out, leaving only foul purple ashes in a matter of seconds. "That's flammable."

"Extremely. Hmm. . ."

"Twilight, please tell me you're not thinking of-"

"Setting fire to the whole thing would probably clean it all up really quickly, and even get rid of the source of it."

"-that." I would have pinched the bridge of my nose, were it not for the mask. "You want me to throw a fireball down there, then?”

“In a moment.” While Twilight likely was telepathically talking with the captain, I moved Bumblebee around so she was parallel to and near the edge, got on, and started waiting. “Once all the guards are accounted for, you can throw the fireball in.”

“Twilight, I really don’t think this is a good idea,” I protested as she got back on.

“Yang, even if there’s a huge reservoir of the stuff down there, the worst that would most likely happen is a small earthquake, and, while it’s true nobody’s really ever ready for one, recovery and rebuilding isn’t much of a problem here. The chances that it’s something bigger, while possible, are very slim.”

“Yeah, but-”

“I wouldn’t ask you to do something like this if I wouldn’t do it myself.”

A small smirk crossed my masked face. “Then why don’t you do it yourself?”

“Well. . . I. . . You can do it better?”

“Twilight, I am not throwing that fireball in there,” I firmly stated. “Even if you offer to take responsibility for what happens, I’m. Not. Doing it.”

“And yet, you haven’t left.” I acted on Twilight’s words, and we were soon on our way away from the gorge. Moments later, I felt her get off Bumblebee, and in the mirrors, I saw her slowly flying towards the edge of the chasm.

The fireball she cast was small. No bigger than a baseball. I felt the heat that the towering wall of flames created, along with the ground shaking just a bit more. Twilight flew overhead, blackened and thrown by the blast, a smoking trail showing her path.

I followed her to a group of guards near the carriage, the unicorns catching her with their magic. The princess was covered in ash, and most of her fur was gone. I took a moment to be smug. “So, about that fireball you wanted me to throw?”

“Shut up, Yang,” Twilight groaned out.

“Nope.” I got off Bumblebee, made my way through the guards, and took Twilight’s saddlebags off of her as some medics showed up. As they treated her, I opened the lightly damaged saddlebags and checked the vials. None of them were cracked, broken, or leaking, and I let out a sigh of relief before putting them safely in the carriage. When I stepped out, I looked back towards the chasm and saw that the high wall of flames was now more like a tall fence fence of fire, stretching a long way across the horizon.

One of the guards came up to me. “Miss Xiao Long, can you cure burns?”

I blinked at the guard for a moment as I processed his question. “Like, with my fire magic? I don’t think I can, and I’m not about to try. With the right stuff and some instructions, I could. I guess Twilight has some nasty burns?”

“Very.”

“Then take her to get some proper treatment.” If I was going to say anything else, it would have been cut off by the sudden, powerful tremor that happened. “Now!”

As Twilight was put in the carriage, I made my way over to Bumblebee and picked her up. Another tremor, stronger than the one before, shook the ground, and if I wansn’t leaning on Bumblebee, I’d have fallen over, likely face first.

I looked back towards the gorge and saw the flames dying off, even as the shaking continued. As I watched, the burned and smoking metal edge of something started rising from the opening, rocks falling off as it rose. A hum filled the air as more and more of it became visible.

A guard tapped my shoulder. “Miss Xiao Long, it’s too dangerous here. We have to get going.”

“Right, right.” Even as I started loading Bumblebee into the carriage and took my mask off, I couldn’t help but keep watching the rising object. Whatever it was, it was huge. Even as we took off, I couldn’t tear my gaze away from it. “Hey, Twilight?”

“Yeah, Yang?” she asked with a bit of pain in her voice.

“Do you have any idea how big that thing is if it’s a circle?”

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw some guards help Twilight to a window. “Let’s see, that’s about 2% of a circumference, that part of the gorge is. . .” For a bit, she was muttering the calculations to herself, something I just let go over my head. “. . . so about 15 minutes.”

“What?”

“It’s about 3.2 miles across, and if it keeps going up at the rate it is, it’ll be out of the ground in about 15 minutes.” A look of dawning horror came across her face. “Sweet Celestia, what in Tartarus is that thing!? How is it even intact???”

I kept watching for a few moments before I came to a decision. “Land the carriage. I’m going to go wreck that thing.”

“Yang!”

“It’s either wreck it now or wreck it later!” I nearly shouted. “I don’t know about you, Twilight, but I’d rather try to wreck it here, away from, oh, name a place on the map.”

Twilight stared at me before sighing. "Go ahead and open the door for her."

As one guard opened the rear door and the carriage descended, I quickly put my mask back on and got on Bumblebee. Before the carriage hit the ground, I put my bike in reverse, fell a few feet to the ground, turned around, shifted into drive, and went full speed towards the rising machine, not worrying about the shaking ground that much.

While I approached the rising disc, I realized something. "How am I going to get in there?" I didn't see any openings or hatches I could use. There was only dirty metal with thin smoking sludge trails. "I guess I could just ram through. Why not?"

When I was just seconds away from hitting the object, I put an intense fiery drill in front of Bumblebee, accelerated as much as possible, and rammed right into it.

Author's Notes:

Surprise! The stuff is very toxic, highly flammable, and not even actual smooze!