It was a regular Friday night at the Carne Den. I was at the grill, Brew was helping with the drinks and desserts, and the stage was being used by a few brave souls willing to put on a performance. It was rather like a musicless karaoke performance.

Tonight, there was a unique guest: Pinkie Pie and her three sisters. She delivered our regular order of goods from Sugarcube Corner and brought them along. They took a seat at a table outside and had only small grilled vegetable items.

The night really got interesting while I was brushing some sauce on a few sticks of chicken and grilling some bacon wrapped veggie patties. Pinkie and her sisters put on some small red and purple vests with gold trim and a small gold chain, then went onstage. The stage was out of my sight, so I couldn’t see what was going on, but based on the way everyone was looking at the stage and what I could hear, I could only presume Pinkie was pulling musical instruments out of her mane.

Then, the show started. “Are you, ah, a real villain?” Pinkie asked.

“No” one of her sisters replied with such a deadpan voice, the pans in the kitchen looked like they were dancing a lively jig.

“Have you ever caught a good guy, like, like a real superhero?”

“Non” one of her other sisters said with a french accent.

“Have you ever tried a disguise?”

“Sorry, Pinks” the last other sister said with a normal voice.

“Alright. I can see that I will have to teach you how to be villains!” After a comically large breath, Pinkie began playing a few notes on what sounded like a saxophone.

“Hey!” Pinkie’s sisters shouted as they started playing their own instruments. I could feel the music magic starting up, and I didn’t fight it. “We are number one!”

“Hey!” Pinkie snapped back before clearing her throat and singing “we are number one!” with her sisters before taking over the singing job. “Now listen closely: Here’s a little lesson in trickery, this is going down in history. If you want to be a villain number one, you have to chase a superhero on the run.” Pinkie changed her voice to a stage whisper. “Just follow my moves, and sneak around. Be careful not to make a sound.”

Something that sounded like a rock being crushed and chewed on broke out.

“No Maud, don’t eat that now!”

“We are number one, hey!” all four sang at once, repeating it a couple times. I looked back at the chicken sticks and saw that they were done. I put them on a plate, and since Brew wasn’t out here for some reason, I had to take them to the pegasus who ordered them. I saw him sitting on the opposite side of the stage and headed that way.

“Now look at this net, that I just found.” Pinkie gave her sisters a net she pulled out of her mane. Somehow. I gave the chicken sticks to the pegasus. “When I say ‘go’, be ready to throw.” I dashed back towards the grill. “Go!” A comical sound effect followed as I got the bacon/veggie patty off the grill and onto a bottom bun. “Throw it at her, not me! Ugh, let’s try something else.”

I quickly topped the burger with a slice of cheese, put the top bun on, and took it to Scootaloo as Pinkie continued. “Now watch, and learn. Here’s the deal: she’ll slip and slide on this banana peel!” Pinkie threw a banana peel out in my path, and I stepped on it. Instead of slipping and falling, I used it to skate along the ground, deliver Scootaloo’s burger, turn around, and head back to the grill. “What is she doing?”

Pinkie and her sisters finished off the song with a series of ba’s, diddly’s, da’s, and the occasional “we are number one”. Finally, they ended the song with a “hey hey!” After some mild applause, they left the stage, took the vests off, and came over to the grill.

“Thanks for helping me with the skit, gals” Pinkie said as they approached. “Let me buy you something. How do some grilled cheese sandwiches sound?”

“Good” the deadpan one said.

“No objection” the French accented one said.

“Sure thing” the normal voice one said.

“Eight plain grilled cheese sandwiches for us, please” Pinkie said.

“24 bits, please” I said as I began buttering up some bread. While I did that, Pinkie made stacks of bits on the counter. When she reached seven stacks of four, she scooped them all up and dumped them into the jar. Hooray for the extra bits.

With so many sandwiches ordered at once, I didn’t have any downtime during the order. As I was buttering up some bread for one side of a sandwich, I also had to flip another one and put yet another on the plate for the order. It took about ten minutes to finish all the sandwiches. After taking a moment to breathe after finishing them, I took the plate over to Pinkie and her sisters, then returned to the grill. The hype over the Carne Den was pretty much gone, but it had made such a splash that it was still pretty busy.

“You wanted to talk with me, Yang?” Applejack asked.

“In the office.” I lead the way in and we both sat down. We weren’t open yet, so it was a good time to talk.“How’s life been for you since I opened the Carne Den?”

“We’ve had to hire some help to keep up with the dessert orders. Granny isn’t what she was even five years ago, and Apple Bloom still has school, so she can’t help as much as we’d like her to.”

“I see. Speaking of business, it’s almost time for a new month and a new dessert. I’m thinking about apple fritters.”

“Ah can send a letter to Apple Fritter so she can come over and teach the hires how to make the fritters.”

“Good thing we’ve got plenty of time to get the letter out. What if you write it here and use the any time delivery at the post office to give her time to prepare?”

“Ah’ll do that. Let’s talk bits though. How does 50 bits for 200 fritters sound?”

Four fritters per bit. I could charge two bits for six of them and come out ahead. I wrote that down so it was there for later. “Sounds good to me. How are they going to be delivered?”

“Ah’ll see about getting some delivery trays from Fritter. She doesn’t sell them from her home, so she’ll be able to help there.”

“That sounds good. You know, I like it when business is simple. It makes things quicker and easier.”

“Are things not so simple where you’re from?”

“As far as I’ve known, no. Everyone spoke of making things more streamlined and quicker, but everyone tried to get their hands in on those things as well, which slowed it down. Here, it’s simpler. We buy our ingredients from everyone we buy ingredients from, we cook them, make a profit, and use that money to keep the cycle going.”

“Ah won’t pretend I understood that. If Ah may ask, what do you plan to do with any leftover pies?”

“If there’s enough, I’ll split them up among my employees. If not, I’ll put the leftovers in my mini fridge upstairs.” That fridge was very nice.

“Mini fridge?”

“It’s like a normal refrigerator, but smaller. I keep a few things in there for the occasional snack or quick breakfast without having to go downstairs.”

“Well, it sounds like you’ve got it all planned out. So, 50 bits for 200 fritters?”

“Of course.” I shook Applejack’s forehoof to seal the deal. “Here’s to our prosperity.”

“Oh, hi Yang” Fluttershy said. “Do you need more eggs already?”

“No, we’re still good there” I reported. “I just thought I’d take a break from my run and come visit you. So, what’s new?”

“Well, nothing really. The animals are generally behaving well, Discord is being Discord, and Angel Bunny is coming up behind you with a pair of scissors.”

I looked behind me and saw a white rabbit there holding a pair of scissors. “Why does he have a pair of scissors?”

Angel let out a series of sounds I couldn’t understand, but Fluttershy apparently could. “He wants to cut off a lock of your hair.”

I turned my attention to the rabbit. “Trust me Angel, you do not want to cut my hair. If you do, there won’t be enough left of you to eat, even with lettuce and berries.”

“Angel, please give me the scissors.” Angel made some sounds and foot stomps in response. “I’m serious, Angel. Yang, can you tell Angel what happens when your hair gets cut?”

I decided to get a little dangerous and knelt down to be closer to the armed white rabbit’s level. “When someone damages my hair, they get punched until they’re no longer a threat.” I held a fist in front of Angel’s face. “In your case, I’d just punch you once and that would be the end of you.” Angel lifted the scissors towards my hair, which lit up. He immediately backed off, hopped away, and gave Fluttershy the scissors.

“Thank you, Angel. So, is there anything I can do for you, Yang?”

“No, you’re fine. I’ll get back to my run. See ya!”

“Hey, Yang, mind if I ask you a question or two?” Rainbow asked.

“You already did, but go ahead” I responded. It was another off day, I was chilling in the sun, and Rainbow was visiting me. With pastries.

“The weather team wants to make a hole around the Carne Den in the Friday evening storm so they can come down to the grill for their breaks. Is there any way you could set aside a table for them?”

“How many?”

“No more than two at a time.”

“Any particular seating preferences?”

“Closer to the grill would be better so they can get their food faster. And before you ask, they will have to pay out of their own bit pouches. Normally, I’d just have their totals tallied up and paid for by the weather factory itself, but I’ve told them otherwise.”

“They get their hole to come down here and have a reserved table, and they pay for the food themselves. That sounds like a good deal. Now, if you don’t mind, I have a question for you.”

“Go on.”

“Are you going to finish that donut half?”

When I entered the Carousel Boutique door, a little bell went off. “Hello?” I called out.

Rarity rushed out from somewhere in the back. “Yang! It’s been so long since you visited. Need something?”

“I was in the area and decided to stop by. How’s business?”

“A bit better than last year. I can still keep up on the orders by myself though.”

That was good. I was about to say something when I felt Opal rub against my leg. “Looks like she missed me.” I picked Opal up and cradled her. “So, aside from just saying Hi, could you make some more underwear for me? The ones you made before are still good, but they’re starting to show some damage.”

“Well, those were my first attempt at something meant for daily wearing like that. How many sets do you need?”

I scratched Opal’s ears as I thought. “Five of each piece should be fine.”

“Any variations?”

“No, I’m good with yellow.”

“I’ll get on it then. They should be ready tomorrow, and it’ll cost you 70 bits for all of them.”

It would be nice if debit cards were a thing here. Or five bit pieces. “I’ll come by for them tomorrow.”

“Also, I was talking with the girls recently, and we were thinking about going to the lake to spend a lazy day there with you. Do you know what that means?”

I didn’t like the direction Rarity was going. “I don’t know.”

“I can make a swimsuit for you. I’ve been going through some of the magazines Twilight gave me and there are some amazing designs in there. Maybe I could dabble in swimwear a bit next year?”

My drive to set Opal down and get out was overriden by a question. I still set Opal down, even though she didn’t want to leave me. “Why would ponies wear swimwear?”

“The fur on the body is more absorbent than anywhere else, especially on mares. Swimsuits, in addition to looking good, also serve to pull that water away from the body and make drying off faster and easier. Amazingly, mare and stallion swimwear resembles human swimwear to an almost uncanny degree, based on the pictures I’ve seen.”

“That’s. . . nice. Anyways, I’ll just get going and come back tomorrow for the clothes.”

“But Yang, I have so many ideas for you!” I was out the door before Rarity could continue. I was not about to talk swimwear. Not yet.

“You need to talk with me, Twilight?” I got a letter from her requesting my presence. At least I was able to make it a few hours before opening.

“Yes. I’ve gotten some anonymous letters stating that there are sanitation issues in the Carne Den. Specifically the kitchen and bar. They claim to have been customers.”

Something was a bit odd. “Question: how would a guest know about the state of the kitchen? We don’t allow guests back there without good reason. Nobody’s asked if they could see the kitchen either.”

“A claim was also made that you’re using foal labor for profit.”

“Ají is a small mare, not a foal.”

“Honestly, I’m willing to dismiss this letter entirely. It’s probably from one of the nobles that hate you.”

I wouldn’t be surprised. “What if I let you do an inspection of the kitchen, then send a response letter stating that the kitchen has been inspected and that I’m taking appropriate action?”

“What would the appropriate action be?”

“Business as usual.”

“Well, I have no reason to doubt you have a well maintained kitchen, so let’s get this over with. I happen to have all the credentials to do this as well.”

Twilight and I made our way to the Carne Den with no issue, except the weather was so nice, it was kind of hard not to simply stop and enjoy it. It was like a minor case of THE TRANQUILITY had washed over all of Ponyville.

Finally, we arrived at the kitchen. I had the cooks that had shown up to do their prep work leave for a bit so Twilight could do her inspection. “So, how does it look, inspector Sparkle?”

“Everything checks out. There’s no bugs, no rodents, no leaks, no broken seals, all the sanitation materials and areas are functional, and food storage is secure. You passed the inspection with flying colors.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Trust me, you did.”

“Then where’s Rainbow Dash?”

An unamused look came across Twilight’s face before she facehooved. “I’ll get that letter written out and sent for you. Have a good day, Yang.”

“You too.”

Author's Notes:

Six short stories of things. Is it filler? Sure, but I think it's good filler.

I'm thinking of skipping ahead a bit. In fact, that's exactly what's going to happen. Onward to autumn! Thereabouts.