Author's Notes:

Fair warning: there are some political analogues in here. Not many. You have been warned.

“Do I really have to wear it?” I asked Celestia. It was 5 pm and the financial meeting with the nobles was in half an hour.

“It would certainly have an impact” Celestia said. “Besides, Luna and I haven’t seen it when it was clean.”

“But the combat outfit isn’t the kind of thing to wear to a meeting like this. What I have on now is much better, though not necessarily ideal.”

“Is it because of how things were done where you’re from or because the nobles have better looking clothes on?”

I gave the question some thought. “Eh, mostly the former, some of the latter.”

“I’m sure Rarity could make something for you for occasions like this. Unfortunately, there’s not enough time. It would add shock value.”

“Maybe that would work if these were other humans we were talking about, but they’re not. I think there’s enough shock value in the plan as is anyways. Maybe I’ll let you see it on me after it’s over, but I’m not wearing it to the meeting.

“Say, can you give me a quick rundown of how these financial meetings work?”

“The nobles prepare spending bills and propose them for approval by the head of the meeting. In this case, at the national level, they need a princess or someone appointed by a princess. These same nobles are also the ones who create and change laws through the same processes. The two often happen at the same time, but they’re all called financial meetings.”

Sounded like politics as usual. “And if the head says no to one of their bills?”

“For this group, that’s the final word. With the exception of Fancy and Fleur, I doubt any of them know that the city level meetings outside of Canterlot can have the head overruled. If we keep it that way, they’re easier to keep in check.”

“I think I get it. Are any of them there yet?”

Celestia’s horn briefly glowed. “Luna tells me six of them are present already. We’ll get you in there ten minutes before the meeting starts.”

“You’re sure this will work, Twilight?” I asked. She had cast an illusion spell on me to make me look like Luna. I couldn’t tell if it was there or not. At least I had managed to talk Celestia out of me wearing the combat outfit.

“Yes, it will work” Twilight assured. “Just follow your lines and I’ll make the magic do its thing. When you sit down, it will look like Luna sitting down. Everything you do, it will look and sound like Luna’s doing it.”

“At least until the big reveal.”

“At which point, they’ll be stuck with you. You’ll be on your own, but we have faith in you.”

I took a deep breath. “Alright. Let me in.”

“Of course, Luna.” Twilight opened the door for me and I walked into the chamber.

When I entered, I got a few glances my way, followed by respectful greetings addressed to Princess Luna, which I returned with only a polite nod, as Luna herself did. She never actually greeted them by name at these meetings for some reason.

I took my spot at the head of the table and sat down on the ornate chair. This one was actually comfortable for me to sit in, and not just because of the heavy cushioning. It was made for a Princess to sit in, and was larger than the average pony seat. I liked it.

Eventually, the last of the thirty nobles came in and took their seat. The pony I had learned to be Blueblood was on my left while Fancy and Fleur were on my right. Those two did not look enthused to be here.

“It appears everypony is present” I said.

“Yes, Princess” Blueblood said. “We’re all here.”

“Excellent. I have been informed of the urgency of this financial meeting, so I shall make sure nothing disturbs us until we are finished here and all the bills have been looked over.” As soon as I said that, the doors were enveloped in Luna’s magic and audibly locked. “I presume everypony has their bills ready?”

“Yes, Princess Luna” Blueblood reported. At his cue, thirty bills were placed on the table. Some were pretty thick.

“Excellent. I would like to try something new tonight for this meeting. If you could all send your bills down to Sir Fancy Pants” -I successfully suppressed a snicker at his name- “I would appreciate that.” The nobles all looked at each other and shrugged before complying, almost entirely concealing him from my view. “Thank you everyone. Ah, excuse me for a moment. My nose is itching.” I lifted my forearm to where Luna’s muzzle would be and “pulled” the illusion away like a curtain, where it dissolved in the air. “Ah, that’s better” I said in my regular voice. “Let’s get started, shall we?”

I looked at the shocked expressions on everyone’s faces. The first ones to recover were Fancy and Fleur, who smiled at me. I think I caught the motions of a quiet giggle from both of them.

The next one to recover was Blueblood, unfortunately. He did not sound or look pleased. “You!”

“Me!” I responded with what was probably undue cheer. “Now then, let’s get this funancial meeting underway.”

“Was that a pun?”

“Yes. I have been placed as the head of this meeting by Princesses Celestia, Luna, and Twilight. If you have any issues with this arrangement, take it to them after we’re done here.”

“I’m leaving” Blueblood said. I did nothing as he and a few of the other nobles tried to leave the room. Keyword: tried. “Why won’t these doors open?”

“I did say nothing will disturb us until all the bills have been looked over, and that includes anyone leaving the room. Fortunately, there is a restroom available for this room, so we can take all the time we need. Now then, come back here and we’ll get this all sorted out so we can leave.”

“Fine then.” Blueblood and those who aimed to leave with him returned to the table and took their spots.

“Thank you. Fancy, could you give me one of the bills? And tell me who’s it is? I only know three of the ponies in here.”

“Of course, Yang” Fancy said before floating what looked more like a thick magazine than a bill off the top of the stack and towards me. “This is the Kingdom-wide Garden Tending bill by Lady Primrose.”

Huh. “Alright.” I opened the bill and began reading it. “Lady Primrose, would you tell us a bit about this bill?”

A mare on the left side of the table, all the way at the end stood up. Her dress was covered in floral patterns, but was tastefully done. At least she looked nice. “Of course. I have put my heart and soul into this bill, which will ensure that every hospital in Equestria has a well maintained garden for patients to rest and recover in, regardless of what their problem is. And they’ll also be available for those who aren’t patients either.”

As I read the bill, I began to have questions. “So, where is the funding for this coming from?”

“It will come out of the profits of hospitals and from the crown. The crown will also increase taxes to help cover this expense. Patients who rest and recover in the garden will heal more quickly and save money that way. In addition to that-”

I didn’t stop reading the bill as I spoke up over her. “Okay, I’m just going to nip this prime rose of yours in the bud and stop you right there.” Lady Primrose winced, probably from the fact that I cut her off. Or maybe it was the pun. “After the gardens are in place, are you going to use the same reasoning to get more flowers into the hospitals themselves? And where will you find space for these gardens? And how will the hospitals save money when they have to spend money on making sure their gardens are up to snuff? The extra staff and labor to make sure that’s all there would take a number of bits that I’m sure is in the thousands, per hospital, at the least.

“And once this little seed of yours is planted, where will its vines stop? In fact, I’m seeing something in here that says every desk will need its own pot of healthy flowers three years down the line.”

“They make good snacks for the staff and patients!”

“I will not debate that point, even though I myself don’t eat flowers. But now I’m seeing something about wall mounted vases every ten feet and on every side of every column another three years after the desk ones.”

“To provide a more pleasant atmosphere.”

I looked at the bill a bit longer before slamming it shut. “No.”

“What? But just think of all the good that bill could do!”

“Think of all the expenses.”

“It will be worth it.”

“No, it won’t. Fleur, please mark this one with a ‘B’ on the cover.”

“Of course, Yang” Fleur said before she put a red B on it. Of course, it was the Equestrian version of the letter, but it still worked.

“What’s next, Fancy?”

“A train travel security bill by Sir Teller. And I must say, you made excellent time with Lady Primrose’s bill.”

That sounded kind of familiar. “Thank you, Fancy. Tell us more, Sir Teller.” I got the bill and began reading it. It had pictures too, and the things looked kind of familiar.

There was a brief wince amongst the crowd before Sir Teller spoke. “Trains are generally pretty safe to ride on, but they can also be prime targets for beings with ill intent to attack and sabotage. This will put screening measures in every station and enclose them to minimize aerial problems, as well as places to put runes to prevent the use of teleportation and speed increasing spells.”

“Certainly an admirable intent, Sir Teller. Tell me, what prompted you to come up with such drastic measures?”

“There’s been a rash of attacks on trains in the minotaur lands in the past year, and I want to prevent that from happening here.”

“And the nature of these attacks?”

“Knives, swords, and clubs.”

That actually sounded pretty bad, but it wasn’t here. “Take this idea to the minotaurs and see what they think of it then. For the convenience of everyone in Equestria, I can’t approve this bill. I have experience with these kinds of measures back where I’m from, and they are a hassle. No liquids, shoes, belts and jewelry off, all your things put through one scanner while you go through another scanner yourself, and then collecting all those things. They haven’t even stopped 100 attacks in the, I believe ten years they’ve been in place. And the tickets to ride from those places are hundreds of dollars each. I can only imagine how much of that money goes to a security net that often catches nothing.

“So no, I’m not passing this. Fleur, give it a B, please. Next, Fancy?”

“Regulations on carts, chariots, wagons, and carriages used by their owners to provide rides for money, by Sir Blueblood.” He said.

“I give it a B.”

“How could you?” Blueblood said. He seemed to be a bit angry. “You didn’t even read it!”

“Once again, prior experience with similar things. Also, that bill looks more like a thick book than anything else. I can only imagine the number of regulations for everything in there. Nobody has time to read them. Infact, Fleur, could you give it a second B please?”

“Of course.” Fleur put a second B on it.

The rest of the meeting went by in a blur, not because everything was boring, but because I was going through everything so quickly.

Eventually, the end was approaching. “Just two more to go everyone.” Of the 28 bills I had gone through, none of them got an A of approval from me. It basically boiled down to either more rules and regulations funded by small tax increases or more spending in places that seemed both ludicrous and plaid. I don’t know how something can seem plaid, but it did, and rather quickly at that. “What’s next?”
1
“A bill to cut harvest quotas on all farmers, by Lady Fleur Dee Lis” Fancy said.

That was different. “Let me see that.” I got the bill from him. It was simply one piece of parchment with a few sentences on it to explain the quota cuts. Fruits, grains, vegetables, eggs, milk, feathers, all of it proposed to be cut in half. “Give it an A, Fleur.”

“Actually Yang, you have to sign it” Fleur said. “As the head of this meeting, you have to do approve and sign it.”

“Oh, right.” I had some practice writing with a quill before the meeting started, so I didn’t have too much trouble signing it. It was only after I wrote my full name out that I realized I’d used my script instead of the Equestrian one. Oops. I’m sure it can be figured out later. “What’s the last thing?”

“Lastly is my bill, which I’ve had ready to go for a few years now, but never was gotten to, that would require all bills approved at all meetings like this, both with us and those on the city level, to sign every page of a bill over five normal sized pages long.”

“Even if it’s only one sentence over?” I got the bill from Fancy.

“Yes.”

I looked at the B pile Fleur had moved to the floor. There were some pretty thick bills in there. “Does that include front and back as two pages?”

“Of course. I spent over a month figuring out and closing all the loopholes I could find in this bill. That’s pretty much all of pages two through seven.”

Lady Primrose spoke up. “But if all the pages have to be signed, then that means the heads of the meetings could dismiss something good just because it’s thick!”

She said it, not me. Still, I responded. “Then if it is thick, it had better be good enough to warrant every page being signed. Or you could try to simplify your bills to five pages or fewer. Nobody wants a bill longer than a Daring Do novel. I am willing to sign all seven pages of this bill because I think what it presents is good enough to warrant it. This bill will itself be an example of how to follow its contents.” I signed every page of the bill, still with my native script. I’d have to work on my Equestrian scripture at some point. Twilight would probably be willing to help with that. “And we’re done here. You’re free to go now.”

“Not yet!” Celestia’s voice rang out from above, and in a bright flash of light and heat, which did feel nice, Celestia teleported in. She stood next to Blueblood and directed a serious look at me. “Yang Xiao Long, I am very disappointed.” Blueblood and all the other nobles, except the best two, suddenly perked up.

“I’m sorry, Princess Celestia” I said. “What did I do?” I was kind of scared.

“You did what I only wish I had been doing for all these years I’ve been dealing with nobles.” Every face that was not Celestia’s turned to one of confusion, mine included.

“What?”

“I’ve always listened to the full explanations and read the whole of every bill, even when I see one that I’d read in a similar form before, and I’ve rarely deconstructed, or dismissed, the bills like you have.”

“But Princess, we were trying to help the citizens” Blueblood whined.

“And did you ever stop to think about how it would be implemented? In fact, I’m curious. Yang, how were you able to think through all these bills so quickly?”

“Where I’m from, the political system is fairly jacked up, very technical term there, and my family often listened to talk radio, where they discuss politics, politicians, and current events of the world. It was a mess back there, always changing, often accelerating. And some of the proposals here sounded pretty close to things back home that I’d heard about.”

“And the ones that didn’t?”

“Same line of thought: where will it all come from?”

“And Fancy and Fleur’s bills?”

“Short, simple, to the point, and requires nothing from the citizens. In fact, those bills help the citizens more than the others would have. With Fleur’s, I had no idea farmers had a crop quota, which makes no sense to me, but I suppose weather control helps with that. As for Fancy’s, it helps the citizens by basically requiring bills to be simple enough that the head of the meeting, or anyone in general, can understand them. So, are we done here?”

“Not quite yet. Everyone, please raise your hoof if you heard of miss Yang Xiao Long before last night’s meeting.” Only two hooves went up. I would have been surprised if more nobles raised a hoof than the two best ones. “Then allow me to introduce you to her. Everyone, this is Yang Xiao Long. She’s only been in Equestria for a month, and she’s already put a permanent stop to Tirek already after he escaped again and drained even my magic.”

“Who’s Tirek?” Blueblood asked.

“He was a centaur who drained magic to add to his own strength. He escaped a couple years back before being resealed. When Yang defeated him, he was over 200 feet tall, or eight times as tall as this room. She is a national hero, and she alone defeated him. For you to not know of him at all is very depressing. Everyone, I expect you to know more about Yang before the next meeting. Dismissed.” Most of the nobles left the chamber at that moment, just as Luna, Twilight, and Spike came in.

“I never thought one of these meetings could last for only 90 minutes” Twilight said. “I also didn’t think those puns would ever end.”

“Neither did they” I said.

“I, for one, enjoyed them” Fancy said. “I also must admit that I enjoyed watching everyone else’s reactions.”

“Yang, would you be willing to be the head for more of these meetings?” Fleur asked. “Also, why did you have me put a B on all these bills you didn’t like?”

“B is for Burn. And how often are these meetings?”

“About eight times per year” Twilight answered.

Hmm. “Alright, but only use me as the emergency measure, and a bit of notice ahead of time would be nice too. As much fun as this was, I don’t think I can do it on a regular basis.”

“I understand” Celestia said. “It’s why we take turns as the heads of the meeting.”

“Shall the seven of us have supper together before my night court starts?” Luna suggested. “We have enough time.”

With no disagreements voiced, we left for supper. Overall, today was an exciting day. In fact, there was so much excitement today, I decided I’d spend tomorrow only on the castle grounds until it was time to go back to Ponyville.