1: Monday

Though his face was completely obscured by his pillow, James could tell that it was morning. He hadn’t opened his eyes to look at his clock on his nightstand and he couldn’t see any sunlight bathing his room in its luminescent glow but he just… knew. It was a talent that he had developed at a young age, when the fear of waking up for school was a very real and very foreboding thing. And, while it had been a rather long time since he had stepped foot in a school of any kind— because school was for baby nerds— that feeling, that sixth sense, was just as strong and just as sharp as it had ever been.

With a grumble he nuzzled his face deeper into his pillow, still intent on getting more sleep. While he didn’t notice, as dead to the world as he was, his pillow let out a gasp, squirming at his touch. There was something off about this pillow, something that his barely conscious self couldn’t quite put his finger on.

“Oh goodness… James? What on ear—James, James, wake up.”

With a yawn, he cracked one of his eyes open ever so slightly as he felt someone gently, but firmly, tapping the top of his head.

The light grey Roborovski hamster housed in his skull yawned hugely as it stepped into the wheel that powered the young man’s mind. It wasn’t a very nice wheel. There were bits of it that were rusted and the wheel would make the most annoying squeaking sound in the world whenever the hamster would start moving, but even still the hamster readied itself for another long, arduous day.

Giving its little legs a stretch, and wishing for whoever was knocking on his home to cut that nonsense out (it couldn’t even open the door to see what they wanted for goodness sake!), it began to turn the wheel.

James, still just lying there half dead to the world, jolted as his mind fired up like an old, yet remarkably reliable weed whacker.

“James. For Celestia’s sake, JAMES, open your eyes!”

Blinking owlishly, he slowly pulled his face away from his unnaturally warm, furry pillow, to look up at his tormentor, only to be booped rather viciously on the nose for his troubles.

“Ow,” he tiredly grumbled, scrunching up his face as his eyes crossed on their own accord.

His booper let out a worried gasp. “Oh my goodness! Are you alright, James?”

Rolling his jaw and wiggling his nose, the tired young man slowly nodded. “Yeah, you didn’t hit me that ha—”

Rarity, element of generosity, fashionista extraordinaire and Ponyville’s premier town gossip was staring down at him, her big blue eyes filled with concern.

James jolted once more as the little hamster in his head increased its pace from a trot to a canter. He quickly looked away from the concerned unicorn. His bedroom wasn’t nearly this big and the color of the walls were wrong. The carpet covering the floor was too clean and white to be his. The purple silk sheets draped over him weren’t his. The cloud-like bed he was lying on wasn’t his either, and Mrs. Rarity, who’s tummy he appeared to have been using as a pillow, most certainly wasn’t owned by him.

…Probably.

He looked away from all of the new visual stimuli that he was presented with to look back at Rarity. There were a million questions running through his mind, concerns and fears that he would very much like settled, but, as he looked up at the unicorn, he found himself drawing a blank.

“…Good morning, Rarity.”

Rarity, though her usually elegant mane was in disarray and she was missing her usual eyeshadow and foundation, smiled at him. “And a good morning to you too, James,” she answered politely.

“Yeah…”

His hamster, with an irritated scowl, increased its pace to a light jog, making a face as squeaks filled the air.

“…Rarity?”

“Yes dear?”

“Why am I in your bed?”

Rarity opened her mouth to answer when a look of confusion came to her face. “Well… I don’t rightly know,” she admitted. “I was wondering if you’d be able to shed some light on that.”

James tried to move his arm but found it pinned to the bed under her body. “…Are you sure you didn’t bring me here?” he asked, concern splashing into his tone.

The unicorn’s brow furrowed. “Whyever would I do something like that?” she rather indignantly demanded.

“Well, I was thinking that maybe you brought me here to eat me—”

“Why I’d never—!”

“—But then I wondered how you’d be able to do something like that since I’m so much bigger than you and you don’t have teeth for the job.” A hum escaped James’s lips as he stared off into nothing in thought. “You could maybe unhinge your jaw, or maybe you’re just hiding your real teeth with a really realistic retainer, but why would you wake me up before you ate me? And why would you eat me in your bed?”

“Unhinge my jaw?! Here you are in my bed making such wild—”

“Did you carry me here to have your way with me, Rarity?” James asked, not a hint of malice in his voice. “Or did you—thmp!”

Rarity, her white coat now flush, clamped a hoof over his mouth. “I believe that I shall be asking the questions from now on, James dear, since you seem so out of your wits,” she said, shaking her head. “Making such accusations. About a lady no less!”

“Well… you do know how you get some—thmp!” He managed to say, before Rarity’s hoof once again silenced him.

“Détends toi , mon cher,” the fashionista commanded, rolling him onto his back. With a huff, she climbed on top of him so that she was straddling his chest. “Now, you have invaded my place of residency and crawled into my bed uninvited like some harlot!”

Rarity’s nose scrunched up as she glared down at him with all of the intensity she could muster. Unfortunately for her it was early in the morning, and just like James, her hamster, a mixture Dwarf Campbells Russian and a Syrian(who had better working conditions and a better wheel since she was in the Union), was only at a canter, so her glare fell just a hair sort. Instead of giving off an aura of intimidation she just looked like she needed a hug. Nevertheless she persevered, staring down at the young man even as he looked up at her.

“Now, you shall tell me why you are in my home and you shall do it right this minute!” she demanded, leaning down so that their noses were touching. “And you shall be doing so without making your silly accusations. Do you understand?” She then retracted her hoof from James’s mouth, giving him the chance to say his peace.

“…Would it be alright if I made some silly accusations first? Please?” he asked, staring up at her with puppy dog eyes.

Rarity’s eyes narrowed as she blew a bit of mane out of her face. “Must you?”

“I have quite a few of them,” James answered honestly.

“…Then you may,” Rarity answered, adopting a bit more hesitant expression. “Though I must insist that you say nothing too outrageous. Celestia knows how much nonsense I can take this early in the morning…”

With a not-at-all reassuring nod, James began his questioning. Since he didn’t want to overwhelm the fashionista right away he decided to start out easy:

“Are you sure that you’re not going to eat me?”

“No, I am not going to eat you.”

“Okay, good. If you were a group of squirrels in a pony costume pretending to Rarity would you tell me?”

Rarity’s eyes widened slightly. Her tail slapped against his legs as her body twitched under the verbal assault that was his question. For a moment she looked like she was about to stuff her hoof back into his mouth but, with a herculean amount of restraint, she stopped herself.

“…Yes, I do believe I would tell you if… such a thing was a reality, James.”

James nodded, seemingly satisfied with her answers. “Alright. What about your doors?”

The unicorn sighed, shifting her weight slightly. “What about them?”

“Do you lock your doors at night or do you keep them open?”

Since she was starting to get a little uncomfortable with where she was lying, Rarity, scooched down James’s body just a hair. James, ever the gentlemen, helped her by gently picking her up and putting her so that she was sitting on his stomach and not in his hard, bony sternum.

“Thank you, dear.”

“You’re very welcome.”

“Yes well,” Rarity said, clearing her throat. “I have never felt the need to lock my doors. Ponyville is a very safe town after all.”

James took a deep breath, looking up at the ceiling. “Well, I make sure to lock both my doors and my windows when I go to bed,”

The fashionista’s nose scrunched up cutely before she sighed, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. “I must admit, when I first opened my eyes I very nearly jumped out of my fur when I saw that I had my hooves wrapped around your head and your face was pressed up against my stomach—”

“Tummy.”

“Stomach. Rarity immediately replied.

James’s eyes narrowed. “Tummy.”

“Oh sweet harmony, you are an adult, James, as am I. And the term that adults use is stomach.”

James coolly regarded Rarity’s frown. “No, in this situation tummy is more appropriate,” he said, reaching up to poke her side. “Stomach is a cold, clinical term that you’re supposed to use when you’re at meetings with strangers or writing letters.”

A small blush came to Rarity’s cheeks as he gave her stomach a few more pokes.

“You use tummy when you’re with someone that you’re familiar with and they have a soft, furry little tum-tum that you just want to press your face against,” James continued, with all of the confidence of an Oxford professor.

Rarity leaned back, as if she was afraid to catch his nonsense.“…I do not very much like the term “tum-tum”, James dear.”

“Which is why I used the term tummy. It’s much more politically correct. Rolls off the tongue a little bit better too I find. Actually—”

“AS I WAS SAYING,” Rarity snapped, lightly tapping him on the forehead. “I was, at first, concerned as to why were you sleeping in my bed and why you were using my stomach as a pillow. But now… well to be frank, now I am just wondering why you are here…”

Rarity bit her lip, her ears pinning themselves against her head. “I can tell that you are just as confused as I to how you wound up here, James dear, and I know you aren’t devious enough to try anything ungentlemanly with this lady.”

“You’re right,” James interrupted with a nod. “Which means that you’re the culpr—ow!”

“Which means that somepony must have crept into your home last night and carried you into my bedroom.

“Really?” James muttered, an eyebrow raised. “Why the heck would anyone do something weird like that?”

Rarity’s eyes narrowed as she peered off into the distance, deep in thought. Her tail flicked side-to-side, tickling his legs. “That is a very good question… A question that I intend to find out…”

“…Rarity? Could you please get off of me?”

“Not now dear, I’m thinking. In the zone as it were.”

With a hum, Rarity laid herself back on top of him, resting her chin on top of his chest. James looked up at the mare for a moment before he let his head fall back onto the pillow. His hands, the devious devils, reached up and began to scratch her sides. A coo escaped Rarity’s throat as, with a happy wiggle, she made herself comfortable.

That warmth, that comfort that James had felt when he had first woken up came back in full force. He found himself taking a deep breath as he closed it eyes.

“Take your time,” he muttered, yawning hugely. “I don’t have nothing to do today.”

“You don’t have anything to do today.”

“That too.”

2: Tuesday

Birds could be heard conducting their dawn chorus as James shifted in his bed. The sun had just peeked over the horizon and all was still. Ponies were still asleep in their beds, waiting for their alarms to go off or their parent/significant other to wake them so that they could start their day. Even the early risers, business ponies and farmers and the like, were just opening their eyes.

The bed squeaked as he shifted his weight in an attempt to get himself comfortable so that he could sleep for a few minutes more. There was a delightful softness and warmth against his chest, and the smell of vanilla and myrrh filled his nostrils with every breath he took. He smiled, holding the warmth against his chest as he slowly began to drift off once more.

“Oh horse feathers. It happened again.”

James’s eyes snapped open as his little hamster started its day off at a sprint.

He could see a white horn invading his field of vision. The white, bony appendage was lightly pressed against his jaw. It was short but surprisingly thick, with a swirl that tapered off at the top. Though, at first glance it looked sharp, he knew better. Most unicorns went to great lengths to keep their horns in prime condition, and one aspect of that was dulling the edge so that no one would be accidentally impaled, and as close as he was to this particular horn he could see that it was very well taken care of.

He took a deep breath as the warmth shifted slightly against his bare chest. In between his legs he could feel a silky smooth tail sliding along one of his calves. “Rarity?”

Rarity, squirming slightly as James ran his fingers through her chest tuft, looked up at him. “Yes, James?”

“It looks like we’re in the same bed together again.”

“It does indeed appear that way doesn’t it?”

“Did you lock your doors this time?”

“I locked my doors and set up those surveillance crystals just as I said I would.”

“Well, I made sure to triple-check—”

“James? Would you be a dear a scratch a little higher?” Rarity asked, staring up at him with those big blue eyes of hers. “You see, I have an itch just below my jaw, and while I’m more than capable of seeing to it myself…”

“Oh, yeah, sure,” the young man muttered with a yawn.

The unicorn let out a happy coo as one of his hands traveled up to her neck and began to scratch. Her eyes closed and her back arched slightly. James could see the slightly coarse, boney texture of her horn as she pressed it against his cheek a little more firmly. “Oh you are treasure, James my dear,” she groaned.

James smiled, resting his chin on top of the fashionista’s head. The scent of vanilla and myrrh once again invaded his senses as he took a deep breath, marveling at how warm and soft the little pony in his arms was. “Thank you. Now, where was I?”

“You were triple-checking—”

“I triple-checked my locks last night, right, right.”

Still humming, Rarity grabbed the hand scratching her neck and guided it up toward her chin. “Then I suppose it wasn’t some sort of fluke,” she mused, her back leg kicking slightly from all of the stimulation that she was receiving. “Somepony, for some reason or another, has once again forced you into my bed!”

She wiggled some more. James could feel one of her back legs slide against his thing as an excited giggle escaped her lips. “Oh, this is just like my mystery novels!”

James’s brow furrowed. “You have novels about guys getting kidnapped and being forced into mare’s beds?”

Rarity stiffened against him. Though he couldn’t see it, the fashionista’s eyes were wide and there was a blush on her face that was so fierce that it was working its way down to her chest.

“...No,” she said, her voice small. “I most certainly do not have novels of such a subject. Not a single one.”

“Alright,” James muttered, looking down at the mare. “Are you okay Rare? You feel warm all of the sud—”

“I can assure you that I am alright. Thank you for asking!” she replied just a little too loudly.

“…Well, since you have those surveillance crystals we should be able to see who’s doing this right?” James questioned, deciding to just ignore that little outburst.

“Yes, of course we can, James, my good stallion,” Rarity said quickly, quietly praying to whoever would listen that her blush would be gone when she had to get up. “But first I do believe that I shall freshen myself up.”

James’s stomach growled. “We should also probably get something to eat,” he advised. “We wouldn’t want to solve this mystery on an empty stomach.”

“Yes, of course, darling. Now if you would be so kind as so cease your scratching…”

Though it was with some regret, the two crawled out of bed, Rarity quickly making her way toward her bathroom before James could see her so flustered, and the young man himself making his way toward the kitchen so that he could wait until she had “freshened up”. Twenty minutes later the two of them found themselves sitting at the kitchen table with a small projection crystal sitting in front of them.

The fashionista was squirming excitedly in his lap as she looked at the little crystal. Why she had decided to sit in his lap was beyond him, but, since she had promised to feed him after this was all over and she was adorable wiggling around like an excited puppy, he saw no reason to complain about being used as a cushion.

“Now… Let us see if the crystals picked up anything unusual shall we?” Rarity chirped, her horn glowing.

For a moment, reflective surface of the crystal was dim , but with a bit more magic, courtesy of Miss. Rarity, the crystal sparked to life. They could see Rarity’s living room, where she entertained both friends and customers alike.

“…Huh, I didn’t think that thing was going to do anything,” James muttered, scratching his chin.

“Of course I’m sure, dear. These are the best surveillance crystals that bits can buy.”

“I’m not doubting that your crystals weren’t expensive, Rarity,” James said, looking at the little hunk of rock with a critical eye. “I’m just wondering why a crystal would record and store information.”

Rarity looked up at him, her brow furrowing slightly. “Well, I must admit that I’m not completely familiar with the process, but what I’m lead to believe is that a rather complex spell is cast on the crystals…”

James grunted, looking down at the little mare in his lap. “That reminds me; I should probably get to letting Rockington back into the wild.”

Rarity blinked slowly. “…Pardon?”

“I have a pet rock named Rockington that I keep in my kitchen.”

“Why in Equestria would you have a pet rock?”

James shrugged. “Well, I normally don’t like animal’s all that much but I saw Rockington just sitting out in the middle of the road all by herself—”

“Herself?”

“Yeah, Rockington is a gender neutral name, Anyway, I saw—thmp!”

“Shush!” Rarity said, keeping her hoof firmly pressed against his mouth to stem his nonsense. “There’s something on the screen!” Her horn glowed, slowing down the recording to normal time.

Both the human and unicorn leaned forward to get a slower look. On the screen the two could see what looked remarkably like Rarity, complete with a frilly sleep mask and slippers, making her way through the living room toward the front door.

“…Is that you, Rarity?”

“…I believe so.”

“Are those cat slippers? Those are really—”

“Shush!”

Rarity walked through her living room almost zombie-like. Though the resolution on the crystal wasn’t all that good it almost looked like the mare’s eyes were closed.

“Am I sleeping?”

“I think so…”

Shuffling toward the door, Rarity about a foot away from it. Her horn glowed, and the two watched as the door slowly opened, revealing another figure that was standing just outside.

“Is that… me?” James muttered, looking on with wide eyes.

“That’s you my dear. I’d know that pajama bottoms anywhere,” Rarity replied.

James looked down at said pajama bottoms. “Well, you were the one that made them.”

“Indeed I did, and I think—”

“Shush!”

“…A gentle stallion does not shush a lady, James.”

“Hey, you’ve been shushing me all morning. I think I get to have at least one.”

Both Rarity and James watched as their recordings just stood there for about a minute, both of them swaying back and forth like leaves in a breeze. Suddenly, Rarity turned around and began to make her way back into her living room and toward her stairs. James immediately followed, closing the door behind him as the two of them disappeared up the stairs.

Rarity’s horn glowed, and with a spell the crystal was turned off. There was an awkward, confused tension in the air as both her and James milled over what they had just seen. The fashionista, with a lady-like click of the tongue, leaned back against James.

“Well… that was…”

James scratched his chin as he looked down at the crystal in front of him. “Can we talk about those cat slippers? Because I still want to talk about them.”

With a guffaw, Rarity looked up at the young man. “James! I believe that there are more important things than slippers.”

“They’re really cute slippers!”

With a groan of disgust, Rarity hopped out of James’s lap. “So it appears that my initial assumption was incorrect,” she muttered as she began to pace the kitchen. “No one has been putting us in the same bed as a form of elaborate prank.”

“And you didn’t kidnap me from my house to have your way with me either,” James helpfully added, only to be ignored.

“…Unless some sort of magic has been casted on the two of us, one that forces our bodies to be close to one another when we sleep? Or perhaps it is some other sort of magical anomaly? Could some unknown fiend be doing this to us for some diabolical purpose?”

Rarity swooned, a hoof going to her forehead. “Oh this is simply a conundrum!

James smacked his lips together as he leaned back into his chair. “We could always go to Twilight to see if she could help us out,” he said. “That mare loves conundrums, and any other words with more than three syllables. I’m sure she could help us in a jiffy.”

Rarity bit her lip. “Perhaps… though I’d much prefer it if we waited another day or two so that I can acquire more data.”

“Alright, if you want,” James chirped. “Maybe the last two nights were just a fluke.”

“Exactly. The last two nights could be nothing more than serendipitous happenstance,” the unicorn agreed, walking back over and hopping back into James’s lap. “Now with that bothersome business is out of the way, what would you like for breakfast, James dear?”

Once again James quietly wondered why Rarity was sitting in his lap but nevertheless found himself wrapping his arms around her barrel. Rarity let out a hum, pressing herself against his chest.

“I can make pancakes like I did last time,” he offered.

Rarity looked up at him with a smile. “That sounds wonderful, darling. Though give it a moment would you? I’m sure you’re as exhausted as I after watching that recording.”

He looked down at her for a few moments, as if pondering something. “…Yeah, I do think I need to sit a little longer to catch my breath. Watching something as shocking as this really takes it out of you”

Rarity’s smile widened just a hair. “There’s a good stallion,” she murmured.

"A Gooder stallion."

"...Hush, dear. You nearly ruined the moment."

3: Wednesday

There was an odd sort of silence in the Sparkle household. It wasn’t tense, or fearful, or even excited. It was a confused sort of silence, as if the residents didn’t know quite what they were looking at. And that was saying something when said residents lived in a castle that was made entirely out of friendship and crystals.

“…Huh, so you weren’t just messing with me…” Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship herself, looked up from the surveillance crystal with a flabbergasted expression. “And you’re saying that this has been happening for the last couple of days?”

Rarity and James, both of whom were sitting on a pair of very tasteful beanbag chairs with coffee mugs in hand/hoof, nodded.

“Yep. It started on Monday,” James said, taking a sip of his coffee. “I just woke up and found myself lying in Rare-bear’s bed.”

“…Rare-bear?”

“It sounds better than Rare-robin or Rare-armadillo, and Rare won’t let me call her Snuggleity.”

As she took a sip of her coffee, the fashionista’s cheeks colored. “I thought that we agreed that you’d never say that word again, darling.”

“Well…” Scratching her head, Twilight looked back at the crystal. “That’s… peculiar.”

Rarity, with a ladylike hump, set her coffee mug down on the counter in front of her. “Twilight, darling, James and I have done everything in our power to discover what on earth’s going on—”

“Eh,” James grunted with a shrug.

“—But I fear our investigation as to what is happening isn’t getting us anywhere!” Pressing a hoof against her temple, she looked at her friend. “Though we loathe to do so—”

“Eh.”

“—Shush James. I’m afraid that we have to ask you for your assistance.”

Twilight’s brow furrowed slightly. “So... you want me to help you figure out why you—” She pointed at James. “—Are sleepwalking to Rarity’s house and why you—” She pointed at the fashionista. “—Are not only opening the door for him but leading him to your bedroom.”

Rarity’s blush darkened. “I wouldn’t have… phrased it in such a way, my dear Twilight, but I’m afraid that you are correct.”

Twilight hummed thoughtfully as she leaned back into the royal beanbag chair. Scratching her chin, she looked at the two with a critical eye. Her horn glowed, and with a spell her magic encased both the human and the unicorn.

“Hmmm. As far as I can tell there’s no magical residue on either of you,” she muttered after a moment or two, nose scrunching up slightly. “Which means that nopony has cast any spells on you recently” Tapping her chin with a hoof she stood up. “Tell me, did the two of you wake up in the same bed this morning?”

“Yeah, just like the last two days. Why?”

A smile came to Twilight’s face. It was an eager, overly excited, beaming smile. The kind of smile that one wore if they enjoyed mundane tasked far more than the average person, such as organizing books and collecting stamps.

“Well, since this isn’t the result of magic, at least as far as I can see, there’s only one way that we can solve this mystery!” the alicorn said with a flap of her wings.

“And how do we solve this mystery Velma?”

“James…”

“What? You’re already the Daphne and Twilight can’t be Shaggy or Fred. You might be able to make a case of her being Scooby Dooby Do but I figured—”

“Shush. Before your nonsense infects the rest of us.”

With a giggle, Twilight’s horn glowed, and with a pop a notepad and a quill appeared beside her. “We’re going to solve this mystery with science.” the princess chirped, looking at both the human and unicorn with barely contained excitement. “Oh, this is just like back when we were on the train going to the National Dessert Competition!”

Though she could feel a slightly headache coming on, Rarity smiled gently at her friend. “Now, Twilight dear, I believe that inductive reasoning might have been more at play in that little adventure than any science.”

“Forensic science is a very respected scientific field, Rarity,” the princess told the fashionista as she yanked both her and James to their feet/hooves. “And just like every other science I’m very well versed in it. Now, if the two of you could follow me we can begin.”

“So we’re not splitting up?” James asked, rubbing his hands together. “Fantastic. I’m getting sick of being chased by a guy in a goofy outfit.”

Rarity rolled her eyes. Though she tried her hardest to frown, a smile still wormed its way onto her face. “Whatever am I going to do with you, James my dear?” she asked, playfully bumping him with her rump.

James’s brow furrowed. “Well, if you need to you can make me sit in the back of the van with Scooby and Shaggy, but if you do that then who’s going to drive the van? I guess I could be—”

“Ah, ah, ah. What did I say about your nonsense, James?”

If Rarity had thought herself quite the private dick she looked positively amateurish compared to Twilight. While hers was a more laissez faire approach to this whole investigation business—if you could call doing nothing about the whole business but eating pancakes and laying on her diva laissez faire— Twilight wanted results immediately and without delay. She wanted questions answered, tests conducted and observations observed.

What have you been eating the last few days? Have you been feeling under the weather? Have you met anypony new that seemed just a bit suspicious? Were you wearing a new set of socks and underwear? Do you snore? Have either of you booped the other in the last one hundred and twenty hours? Do you have any knowledge of either of your homes being built on ancient deer burial grounds? These and many, many, many more questions bombarded James and Rarity as they followed Twilight to their doom wherever she was taking them.

The barrage of questions and magical poking made what would have been a relatively short walk a much longer one. But both James and Rarity eventually found themselves in one of Twilight’s guest rooms, standing in front of a bed.

“Alright, I’m going to need you two to get into that bed and cuddle,” Twilight said as she quickly scribbled something down onto her notepad.

Rarity blinked. “…Pardon?”

“I need you and James to get in that bed and cuddle, Rarity.”

A hint of pink could be seen on Rarity’s cheeks as she coughed into a hoof. “And why would you need us to do that, Twilight dear?”

“The two of you have been waking up in each other’s hooves every morning. Since we don’t know why you do this I wanted to see if I’d find anything interesting if the two of you were in the same bed,” Twilight immediately responded, looking up from her notes to flash her friend a smile. “Even though we might not get anything out of it I’d still like to explore every avenue.”

“I-If you must,” Rarity hesitantly said, looking over at James, who was already kicking his shoes off. The young man, feeling her gaze on him, looked up and smiled. Rarity, with a slightly nervous giggle, smiled back.

“Great! Now if the two of you can get into the bed I can start to observe and ask questions,” the princess said, prompting them forward with a wing.

Without saying a word, James walked over to the bed, pulling down the blue covers before he sat down. Rarity, her heart thumping just a little more wildly than it had been a moment before, trotted over and hopped right next to him.

“It’s not as nice as your bed, Rare,” James said, rubbing the cover in his hand with his thumb and pointer finger. “And these covers aren’t all that great either…”

Rarity giggled, leaning against him. “Well, I suppose we shall have to make the most of what we are provided with,” she said, giving his shoulder a nuzzle.

Twilight, looking up from her notes, watched as the fashionista crawled into the bed and under the covers. James, bouncing on the bed once or twice, quickly joined her. “The subjects still seem to be tense. Their movements are cautious and jerky. Suspect that this is not even close to how they interact while they’re asleep. Observing them in their preferred environment without their knowledge might have been a wiser option…”

“Twilight, if we are to do this I’d prefer it if you weren’t so vocal,” Rarity panned, her blush darkening. “And I’d very much appreciate it if you did not call us subjects. Please.”

“Oh, right… hehe,” Twilight muttered as she hid behind her notepad, a sheepish smile coming to her face. “Sorry.”

With a sigh, the fashionista rolled over as James laid down, scooching closer as he rolled onto his side. Arms and hooves found themselves wrapping around bodies as the two pressed their bodies against each other. Rarity’s muzzle found itself nestled in the crook of James’s neck, her horn lightly pressed against his cheek, while one of James’s hands found its way to her mane, scratching the unicorn’s scalp. A pair of sighs could be heard as they settled down, their bodies adjusting themselves slightly to find the cuddle sweet spot.

After getting himself comfortable, James blindly reached around for the cover, grabbing it and tossing over the two of them. Rarity, with a lazy smile on her face, began to nuzzle his throat.

As the two were doing this, Twilight was frantically writing, peeking over her notepad to stare at the two. “Though at first shy due to the fact that they have somepony watching them both of the subjects seem to have settled quite nicely,” she muttered under her breath. “Subject 1, being the bigger out of the two, has settled into the role of big spoon. He also appears to be using his hands to comfort and sooth Subject 2, something which she appears to very much enjoy. And on the topic of Subject 2—”

“You know we can still hear you, right Twilight?” James called, even as Rarity nuzzled deeper into the nape of his neck to hide her embarrassment. “You’re like five feet away from us.”

“Sorry, sorry!” the princess said as she began to blush. “I just like to think out loud when I’m doing an experiment and—”

“We are not an experiment!” Rarity protested, her voice muffled. “For goodness sake, Twilight!”

James couldn’t help but smile as Rarity squirmed against him. One of his hands reached up to scratch her ear. A coo escaped the unicorn’s throat. Her body, which had been tense just a moment ago, went limp as she nuzzled deeper into his neck.

“Don’t worry, Twi, we know how you get. Don’t worry about it.”

That seemed to snap Rarity out of it, because, with another huff, she lifted her head up. “I’d very much like to worry about it thank you! I am a lady; not some sort of lab—tgonfdnvlkdfndl…”

Whatever else she was about to say turned to babbling as James reached up with his other hand and started to scratch both of her ears. She let out a happy groan, rubbing her face against his neck like an affectionate cat, as his fingers did their magic. “Easy there, Rare, easy…”

Feeling her face heat up just a little bit more, Twilight looked back down at her notes. “N-Now that the two of you seem nice and settled I think I’d like to ask you a few questions if that’s alright.”

Remembering that she wasn’t in the privacy of her own home, Rarity quickly regained her senses. She grabbed James’s hands with her magic, pulling them away from her head. She gave him a very stern look, which he answered to with a smile, before she picked her head back up to look over at her purple friend.

“Very well, but first I’m going to have to insist that you don’t tell anypony what transpires in this bedroom,” she said with a huff. “I have a reputation to uphold.”

Twilight couldn’t help but smirk. “Now there’s nothing wrong with being a little overly affectionate, Rar—”

“Hush!” Rarity commanded. “And you hush as well, James.”

“…I didn’t even say anything.”

James’s perfectly reasonable response was countered with a boop to the nose. “You always have something ridiculous to say,” the unicorn said with a huff. “Now Twilight, if you would be so kind…”

There was a small smile on the alicorn’s face as she looked at her friend. “Alright, alright, I promise not to say anything to anypony,” she promised with a shake of her head. “Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye—Ow!”

It wasn’t until Twilight finished the Pinkie Promise by accidentally jabbing herself in the eye did Rarity relax. “Very well then,” she said, letting go of James’s hands. “You may begin with your questioning if you so desire, darling.” Almost instantly, James’s hands found their way to her neck and head, scratching and stroking. She smiled as she let her head rest against his shoulder. “But I might recommend that the questions be asked quickly.” She yawned. “Whenever this ruffian has his hands on me I can never seem to stay awake.”

James found himself also yawning as he hugged Rarity closer to him. “Yeah, Twilight. If you’d hurry up and ask your questions that’d be great.”

“Hurry it up?!” Twilight squawked. “You can’t just hurry something like this up! There’s no many factors to consider, so many variables as to why the hay this is even happening! I could ask questions until I was blue in the face and I might not even—”

Despite her best efforts, Rarity found that her eyelids were slowly closing. She just couldn’t help it; something just happened when she was with her human friend. Never in her life had she felt so safe, so… loved as she did now.

“Are you sure you’re not using some sort of special product for your mane or skin, James darling? Because if you are you simply must tell me so that I can acquire some for myself.”

James, his eyes already closed, laid an arm over her, causing her to smile. “Nope, I use the same soap that I always use,” he answered, yawning hugely once more. “And you smell gooderer too.”

“When we wake up remind me to help you brush up on your grammar, dear,” Rarity said with a giggle.

James’s grip tightened around her ever so slightly. “No thank you, I’ve had enough schooling to know that the practice is a load of nonsense.

“You’re a bunch of nonsense.”

“At least I’m not a gaggle of nonsense. You gotta watch out for those kind of people. They’re the troublemakers and scoundrels of the world.”

4: Thursday

“Mwah. Mwah.”

The first thing that James noticed, as he clawed his way out of the sweet, comforting black embrace that was sleep, was a particular sensation around his mouth. It was a tingly, welling sensation, as if someone was running a gentle electrical current throughout his body.

“Mwah. Mwah.”

As the sleep was driven back the sensation sharpened. Instead of a jolt he could feel something soft being pressed against his lips. He could also feel something tickling his face and his nose, something not quite nearly as soft as what was repeatedly brushing against his mouth but still remarkable soft.

“Mwah.”

Now he could feel a weight on his chest. The weight wasn’t a heavy one; probably not more than sixty pounds he guessed. Inhaling, his senses were overrun with the smell of vanilla and something else that he couldn’t quite place. He could feel something tickling his legs, something with the same softness of what was tickling his face.

Though his eyes didn’t open, his mouth became a thin line. “Rarity? What are you doing?”

The soft, tingly sensation on his lips vanished. A rather unladylike “Eep!” broke the silence of the room as the weight on his chest shifted. Before the weight left him, one of his eyes opened just a crack.

He could see that Rarity was lying on top of him. Her head was resting on his chest, her face turned away from him. Though a blanket covered the two of them he could see the gentle rise and fall of her chest. If one didn’t know any better, they’d have said that she was asleep. James would have thought that as well, if not for the fact that the blush on Rarity’s face was so aggressive that it had worked its way throughout her upper body.

The sight instantly brought a smile to his face. “Rarity,” he cooed, reaching up to tickle the mare’s sides. “Rarity~”

Though he continued poking her sides, Rarity didn’t move an inch from her position. One of her hooves “discreetly” swiped at his hands, but other than that her sleeping façade was kept intact.

“Rarity. Rarrrrrrity. Come on. I know that you’re awake.”

One of James’s hands left her side and tried for her tummy but the fashionista was quick to nip that in the bud, quickly grabbing his hand and hugging it against her chest. His smile widened when he heard a very quiet whine escape the mare’s mouth.

Sensing victory, he doubled his assault with his other hand. “Were you stealing smooches, Rarity? Do I need to contact the kissing police? Are you a kiss burglar?”

Another whine escaped Rarity’s mouth. She began squirming, trying to wiggle away from his devious fingers. When she could go no more, precariously perched on top of him as she was, she slowly lifted her head to look at him.

“Oh! Good morning, James dear,” she said, making a show of rubbing her eye and yawning. “Thank you ever so much for waking me up.”

“Good morning?”

“Yes, good morning.”

James’s smile widened. “Well good morning to you too, Kissy McKisserson,”

Rarity’s blush brightened, but she tried to draw attention away from it by fussing with her mane. “Yes, well.” Coughing into her hoof, she looked down at him with a nervous smile. “Why don’t the two of us—”

“Subject 2 appears to be quite flustered, though she hasn’t moved from Subject 1’s side. Observations suggest that she may try to goat Subject 1 into kiss her so that the two are equally flustered.”

Both Rarity and James slowly looked over to the corner of the room, where the telltale sounds of a quill scratching against paper could be heard. There, sitting amidst a dozen purple throw pillows, was Twilight Sparkle.

“Huh… It looks like one of your stuffed animals came to life, Rare,” James said, giving Rarity’s side a parting poke. “Quick, go over there and poke its belly before it starts singing songs and trying to be like the peoples.”

“Twilight?!” Rarity screeched, her eyes bugging out of her head. “What in Equestria are you doing here?!”

Twilight’s eyes snapped up from her clipboard. “Oh horse feathers,” she muttered, sinking deeper into her camouflage. “I’ve been spotted…”

“I can see you, Twilight,” Rarity snapped. “Your coat is a shade darker than those pillows!”

“Is that purple stuffed animal sitting in Applejack’s box?” James asked, craning his neck to get a better look.

Such a sentence was just enough to make Rarity look away from her royal house invader and back toward her bed buddy. “Applejack’s box? What in Luna’s name are you talking about, dear?”

“Underneath all of those pillows. You can very clearly see that your stuffed animal is sitting in a box.”

“Twilight is not—urgh!” Making a face, the fashionista followed James’s gaze. To her surprise he was right. Twilight, partially covered in pillows, was also sitting in a box. “Does… James?”

“Yes?”

“May I ask you a question?”

“Sure, fire away.”

“That is your box correct?”

Humming, James gave the box a once over. “Yep, as far as I can tell that’s my box. Well, it’s Applejack’s box but I have it in my house so she can have somewhere to sit whenever she’s over.”

Rarity nodded slowly, looking for all the world like she was in the middle of diffusing a bomb. She wracked her brain, trying to think of a way to elegantly phrase the question that she so desperately wanted to ask. James, being the kind soul that he was, lent his support in her harrowing venture by giving her back a scratch.

“…Now, James dear, could you please read to me what you have… written on that box?”

“What? The letters a bit too small for you to read them right?”

Not looking away from the box, an almost mystified expression on her face, Rarity shook her head. “I simply wish to confirm that I have not, excuse me for saying this, lost my marbles.”

“Oh, in that case it says only silly ponies can sit in that box,” James told her with a smile.

Rarity said nothing, letting the statement hang in the air as she just stared down at him. She waited for him to start laughing, to tell her that he was just kidding, but James just continued to stare at her with an honest, heartfelt smile. The seconds crawled by, still no laughter, still no sign of a joke.

…Perhaps this was the joke? Not the string of sounds that James had just uttered, but life in general. Perhaps she, James and everypony and everything that she knew and loved was simply the build up to the punchline of some cosmic being.

She could be very well naught but a walking shadow; a poor player that strutted and fretted her hour upon the stage, and is was no more. Hers might simply be a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, but ultimately signifying nothing. She might just be, even though she had done and achieved so much in her young life, nothing more than a part of a greater whole that was the buildup and the punchline.

For a moment the bedroom seemed just a bit bigger than it had been a moment ago as Rarity let herself flop back onto her living mattress, taking a deep breath to soothe herself.

“…I was afraid that you’d say that,” she said with a sigh.

Sinking into her pillow cover a bit more, Twilight’s eyes drifted back down to her notes. “Both Subjects appear easily distracted, might—”

Before she could finish her sentence, Rarity’s horn glowed. Her magical aura enveloped one of the pillows that laid forgotten on her bed. With a flick of her horn she sent it hurtling toward Twilight. The princess’s mountain of pillows did nothing to protect her as the projectile connected against her muzzle with an unmerciful amount of force.

“OW! Rarity! What are you throwing pillows for?”

“Twilight, darling, can’t you see that I’m having an episode here?” Rarity whined, rubbing her cheek against James’s chest.

“Well, I hope you have a thirty-minute time slot and the commercials aren’t that long,” James said, wrapping his arms around the little unicorn.

“…Thank you dear. I think.”

Giving her a little squeeze, James looked back over at Twilight. “So what brings you to this neck of the woods, Twi?” His gaze drifted back down toward the box. “And where the heck did you get that thing? Last time I saw it it was collecting dust in my closet.”

Rubbing her nose, which had been so viciously attacked just a few moments ago, Twilight perked up. “Well, actually, it’s a pretty interesting story.”

“More interesting than the fact that you broke into my home?” Rarity questioned, only to be shushed by her bed buddy.

“Since my findings while you were knowingly under observation were… lackluster I decided to see how you reacted around each other when you didn’t know I was around,” the princess said, her mountain of pillows shaking as she gave a happy wiggle.

“Alright, so you decided to try the stalking option,” James said with a nod of the head. “That still doesn’t explain why you’re sitting in my box.”

“Applejack’s box, dear,” Rarity corrected, finally letting her head submerge into the kiddie pool of madness that she found herself floating in.

“Yeah, Applejack’s box, my mistake,” James said, apologetically scratching the fashionista’s ear. “I know you’re a pretty silly pony yourself, Twi, but I don’t think that Applejack would want you sitting in her box like you owned the thing.”

“If you give me just a second I’ll get to that,” Twilight said matter-of-factly, as if what James had just said was perfectly sane and normal. “Now, since I couldn’t be in two places at once for the first night of my observations—”

Rarity’s ears perked up. “The first and only night.”

“But—”

“While I appreciate your willingness to help James and I with our… admittedly unusual problem, that does not mean that I want you to watch me whilst I sleep!”

Twilight just stared at Rarity for a moment with a neutral expression on her face. Slowly, she began to write something on her notepad. “Subject 2 seems to resent me observing her. Must take greater lengths to better conceal myself in the future.”

“What did you—efgndfkjd!”

“Keep going, Twi,” James encouraged as Rarity squirmed on top of him. “I’ll keep the snuggle-bug here occupied.”

Rarity’s eyes were hazy as she looked up at him. Though she was trying her hardest to glare she couldn’t quite get herself to properly focus on him. “I am—oh~! I am not a—a-ah~! I am a lady! Not—ohmygoodness~.

“Aw, that’s really cute,” Twilight said, covering her mouth with a giggle. “Now, where was I?”

“Something about your first night of stalking,” James helpfully supplied.

“Aw yes, thank you. Since I couldn’t be in two places at once I decided to set up at Rarity’s house since this was the optimal location to see how the two of you would interact with each other while you were sleepwalking.”

Still, squirming, Rarity wiggled up James’s body. “You ruffian,” she huffed, pressing her chest against his face as she wrapped her hooves around his head. “Laying hands on a lady so nonchalantly.” James, with a muffled chuckle, continued scratching his bed buddy as she ran a hoof through his hair.

A blush came to Twilight’s face. “And, um, well.” She coughed into a hoof as Rarity stared at her with a raised eyebrow.

“Come on now, dear. Let’s hear whatever silliness that you got yourself into.”

Twilight coughed again, finally getting a grip on herself. “I had observed you opening the door for James and leading him to your bedroom. For about an hour or two after that I just sat back and recorded everything that you two did, your movements, your breathing, how you held each other, along with a dozen other things.”

“Oh, and did you find anything interesting?”

“That’s just it, Rarity,” the princess said, looking down at her notes. “As far as I can tell there isn’t anything unusual. Neither of you have any signs of an outside force using magic on you, there’s no special magical signatures in your house. There’s nothing forcing James to walk halfway across town to your house and there’s nothing making you open the door for him.”

“Could someone maybe be messing with us through our dreams?” James asked through a mouthful of fur.

Twilight shook her head. “I would have caught something like that when I checked for foreign magic on the both of you.” Ears pinning against her head, she huffed, looking a bit frustrated. “I had thought that maybe the two of you were just subconsciously seeking companionship, and it was just luck that the two of you came together like you are, but when I tried to test that out by switching Rarity with myself you… reacted, James.”

James poked his head out from Rarity’s chest tuft. “I didn’t do anything… lewd to you did I?”

“No, no. When I tried to cuddle you you got up out of the bed and left the room,” Twilight told him. “A few minutes later you came back with this box and, before I could do anything, you picked me up and put me in it. After that you put Rarity back into the bed and continued to cuddle her like nothing was out of the ordinary.”

A small, pleased smile came to Rarity’s face. “Well, James’s excellent taste aside, why didn’t you simply get out of the box after the two of us were back in the bed, dear?”

Twilight opened her mouth but quickly closed it. “I… I don’t know,” she muttered, looking down at the box. “I was meaning to but…”

“Silly ponies can’t resist the silly pony box,” James said, his voice a whisper as he picked up and placed the fashionista lower down on his body. “They’re drawn to it, seeking it for their silly orange master.”

Rarity couldn’t help but snort when she saw the look that he was giving her. “You simply are too much, darling,” she said, playfully batting his shoulder.

“The legends are true, Rare-bear,” James insisted, lifting up his head so that he could get a better look at the unicorn. “It’s the box of power. One box to rule them—”

Before he could react his lips came into contact with something soft and furry. Upon closer inspection he realized that it was Rarity’s cheek. As he jerked his head back, his eyes wide, the fashionista let out a giggle.

“Oh, how simply daring, kissing a mare without warning!” she teased, her blue eyes shining as she looked down at him. “And there you were teasing me for kissing you.”

“I, um, I didn’t—” James sputtered, a blush coming to his face. “You, I didn’t, why—”

Grinning like a mad mare, Rarity leaned down and nuzzled his cheek. He could feel her lips brushing against his slightly scruffy cheek, which only caused him to blush harder. In the corner he could hear Twilight giggling to herself as she scribbled on her notepad.

It appears that my theory was correct. Subject 2 has indeed decided to trick Subject 1 into kissing her with the intention of leaving him flustered.

“Oh, there’s absolutely no reason to get so flustered, dear. I can understand why you would be so bold when a lady such as myself if just lying there unsuspecting as I am.”

“I, you, I didn’t—”

“Though that doesn’t mean I am at all displeased. You seemed to be an excellent kisser.”

“I JUST KISSED YOU ON THE CHEEK! AND I DIDN’T EVEN DO IT ON PURPOSE! YOU WERE THE ONE THAT HAD YOUR CHEEK RIGHT THERE!”

“Oh, you silly, silly, man.”

“I’M NOT SILLY! YOU’RE SILLY! AND SO IS TWILIGHT!!”

Though Subject 1 appears distressed, there is a smile on his face. Data suggests that both subjects enjoyed the intimacy. Is it the kissing itself or is it because they kissed each other?

Twilight looked up from her notes. James had his hands on Rarity’s face, trying to push the mare away as she tried to lean down and nuzzle him. Both the human and the unicorn were blushing, both of them were smiling and there was a sparkle in their eyes as they playfully pushed,shoved, and teased each other. Twilight couldn’t help but beam, warmth filling her chest at the sight of her two friends so happy and gay.

Further tests and observations could be conducted but I have a feeling that it is not needed Twilight wrote, sinking into her box. While what the two are experiencing is an unexplained anomaly it is in no way harmful to either of them.

“You do turn such an excellent shade of red, darling.”

“Hey, get away! Stranger danger! I don’t know you! The moon landing was a myth! Peanuts are just—”

“Mwah.”

“Stoooooooooooopppppppppp!”

Though I believe that I shall commandeer this box. For science of course.

5: Friday

There was a shift in the cosmos. The moon, which had stood as a sentinel against the all-consuming darkness, had begun its slow descent from the sky. It’s brother, the luminescent sun, took its place. The darkness, which had so viciously fought against the moon for supremacy, fled as the sun peeked over the mountaintops. Light, warm and golden, bathed everything that the sun surveyed.

A band of this light found its way through a window and toward a bed, where James found himself sleeping. The young man’s face scrunched up as the sunlight replaced the comforting, quiet darkness. He tried to cover his face to block out the light with a hand but the sun, gentle yet powerful, would not be denied. The light flowed through his fingers and onto his face.

With a sleepy grumble, James tried to cover his face with his covers, but just like his hand the silk covers were a poor barrier. It was time to rise, the sun quietly said, in a language known to only a few. It was time to start the day, to be a creature of life and motion, to seize the day and make it his own. But still he resisted the call, rolling onto his other side with a grumble.

With that moment he found himself once again in the motherly embrace of darkness. Along with that sweet jubilation he also found himself pressing up against something soft, warm, and furry. He took a deep breath, humming in delight as vanilla filled his nostrils. Fur, unspeakably soft, was tickling his cheeks and his nose but he ignored the sensation, burrowing his face deeper to hide away from the almighty sun. In the silence of the room he could hear the steady yet powerful beat of a heart. He pressed his ear against the softness, moving with it as it gently rose and fell, listening to the steady thumping.

He tensed as he felt something lightly gliding up his back. As with the fur against his face it was soft, yet it had this firmness to it that warned of a hidden strength. The something leisurely made its way up his back, up his neck and toward his head, where it stopped right at the top of his head. For a moment it simply lingered, not moving, not applying pressure, but then he could feel it run lengthwise down his head. Though he could feel no protrusions to speak of, the familiar sensation of fingers running through his hair could be felt. He sighed under the gentle ministration, nuzzling his face deeper into the softness and the beating heart.

“James dear,” A voice, as soft and light as a spring wind, wafted through the air. “James, darling, it’s time to rise and shine.”

James’s eyes slowly fluttered open. Blinking blearily, and wondering who would wake him at this ungodly hour, he looked up to see a pair of blue eyes staring down at him.

The owner of said eyes looked tired. Her mane and fur, usually perfectly maintained, was sticking out everywhere. Her eyes, usually so lively and bright, were half-lidded and hazy. On her chin was a line of drool that lead up to her mouth. Rarity, though she looked even more tired than he felt, smiled down at him as she rubbed one of her big, blue beautiful eyes. “Good morning, darling,” she said, yawning.

Exhaling explosively through his nose, James rested his cheek against her chest. “There’s nothing good about this morning,” He grumbled quietly.

The unicorn giggled as he tried to throw the covers over his head. Her horn glowed, and with a flick of her horn it was back down on his lower back. “Now, now, none of that,” she chastised, giving his head a pat. “It’s time to greet the day, dear.”

With another grumble, James reached up and began tugging at the fashionista’s shoulders. He didn’t know what all of this waking up nonsense was about but it was going to be nipped in the bud before anything crazy in mind happened. So, still grumbling, he began to drag the unicorn down his body so that she wouldn’t get any more crazy ideas. Rarity, of course, simply giggled as she found herself as the smaller spoon, leaning up to give him a sweet nuzzle on the cheek.

“I don’t wanna greet the day,” James groaned, pulling Rarity against him and resting his chin on the top of her head. “The day wants to beat me up and steal my lunch money.”

“Oh? Well hiding from it isn’t going help things,” Rarity said teasingly, nuzzling his neck as his arms wrapped around her. “You need to go out and face that mean old day, dear.”

“Well you’ve never gotten a swirly by the day. If you had you wouldn’t want to get out of this bed until noon either.”

A sleepy, amused hum escaped the fashionista’s throat. She rested her horn against his cheek as she laid there, just listening to his quiet breathing. One of her hooves hooked around his middle and began to trace his spine. James sighed as one of his hands reached up and dug his fingers into her mane, gently scratching her scalp.

In the background, the chirping of birds could be heard as the two just took a moment of this brand new morning to lay together. In those few, wonderful seconds everything else went away. There was just silence and warmth and comfort.

“You know, I have been thinking, James dear,” Rarity said, shattering the perfect silence.

“You better watch that, I heard if you think too hard steam starts to come out of your ears.”

Snorting, Rarity playfully shoved him. “James, come on now.”

“I swear that I watched it happen to Bonbon at the market the other day,” James said, complete sincerity in his eyes. “It was crazy. Everyone stopped what they were doing to watch. I’m pretty sure that someone even took pictures.”

With another giggle and a shake of her head, the fashionista continued her train of thought. “Now, as I was saying, I have been wondering whether this is out of our control.”

James’s brow furrowed. “What? The steam coming out of our ears when we think too much?”

“No! I was talking about this,” she said, reaching up to boop his nose. “The two of us have been trying so hard to discover why we wake up like this every morning—”

“Not really.”

“—But what if this is just meant to be?” Rarity’s back arched as she sighed dramatically. “What if it is fate that brought us together? What if we are destined to wake up in each other’s arms until the end of our days?” She sighed again as she covered her face. “Just think of it, darling!”

James did as she asked, his nose scrunching up. He wondered if such a thing was feasible and what it could mean. If this was predetermined than did that mean that everything else was preordained in his life? Did he have free will, a say in what he did in the mere moments that spent amongst the living? Or was he just the toy of some higher being, doomed to carry out their whims like he was some sort of puppet on invisible strings?

What even was free will? Were their gods? What purpose did he have in the universe? Was there even such a thing as purpose? Did it matter what he, a tiny insect in the universe, did? Was Nietzsche right in saying that nothing mattered and nothing would ever matter? Was god dead? Did he kill him? Or her? Or it?

His hamster, smelling smoke, shook its head as it broke into a dead sprint.

“Well… I guess it’d be… something,” he lamely uttered.

Rarity tittered softly as she looked down at him. “Well, I suppose it cannot be helped,” she lamented. “I just hope that I can find room in my abode for all of your belongings…”

“…What about my belongings?” James asked.

“A bigger bed might also not be out of the question,” Rarity muttered, scratching her chin. “If we need to I could certainly have somepony come in and add an extension on the boutique. Thank Celestia that my ceilings are high enough so that you don’t have to crouch down. Otherwise harmony only knows how much that’d cost to rectify that...”

James’s brow furrowed in concern. “Um, Rarity? What’s this about extensions and ceilings? Rarity?”

“And of course we’re going to have to come out and tell ponies that we’re together. We wouldn’t want anypony to think that we’re a pair of harlots.” Rarity stared down at him with an appraising eye before she grinned. “Ohhh! I know just the place where we can have our date! It might not be extrémité supérieure but I don’t think we need to flaunt ourselves too extravagantly.”

“A date?” James hesitantly said. “You’re talking about a date, right?”

“Of course, darling,” Rarity said with a nod. “After the two of us go to your house and take stock in everything that we shall need to move then we can—”

“Move? Why the heck are we moving anything out of my house?”

“Because you are moving into my home, dear,” the fashionista said with a playful roll of the eyes. “Weren’t you listening to a thing that I said?”

“…Yes?”

“Excellent!” Leaning down, Rarity touched her nose with his, her big, blue eyes staring expectantly. There was warmth in those eyes; an affection that made his heart flutter in his chest. “Then the two of us shall be together forever more?”

Her tone was soft, hopeful, not at all confident like it had a moment ago. The smile on her face was a nervous, small thing, like a flickering candle that could go out at any moment. For a minute the two just found themselves staring at each other. The only sounds that could be heard in the room were their breathing and the creaking of the bed as Rarity nervously squirmed waiting for an answer.

James found himself smiling at the sight. “If it’s fate then who am I to go against it?” he asked, reaching up to scratch the fashionista’s chest.

The sigh that Rarity let out was a shaky one, relief instantly washing away her anxiety and fear. “I always knew that you were a reasonable stallion, James darling,” she said, trying and failing to keep her voice even. “Tis no longer in our hooves, if it ever was, I’m afraid.”

“I guess we’ll have to just sleep in this bed together until the rest of time huh?”

“I suppose so.”

“We’re going to have to start dating. You’re going to have to tell your parents and I’m going to have to lease an ad in the paper that I’m selling my house.”

“Mother and father are sure to love you, dear, and I’m positive that we can find somepony to buy your house with little effort.”

“After that, if everything goes well, I suppose you’ll be wanting a wedding ring?”

“Not for a few years,” Rarity insisted, though her eyes were shining at the very idea. “But in the future yes.”

“And a few little monsters running around the house?”

“It’s only proper that after you marry a lady you have a family with her, James.”

“And then grandchildren?”

“If our children are lucky enough for find that special somepony yes.”

Sighing dramatically, James threw his hands up. “Well, like you already said, it’s probably out of hands. What with the fates and swimming against the current of destiny and all that.”

Rarity nodded in agreement, rubbing her nose against his before she rested her head on his shoulder. The fashionista felt happy, exceedingly so, she was so happy that she didn’t know what to do with herself. She wanted to run outside and shout to the heavens, she wanted to wrap her hooves around the stallion holding her in those big arms of his and pepper his face with kisses until the sunset, she wanted to do a million different things and she wanted to do it all at once. But a lady controlled herself, no matter how happy or excited or ecstatic she was, so she just found herself smiling softly as she nuzzled James’s shoulder.

“We shall just have to suffer through it, darling,” she told her brand new coltfriend. “Pawns in fate's design as we are…”

6: Saturday

“Oh my stars what a day!”

The front door to the Carousel Boutique was thrown open. In the dark, empty, silent house the telltale sounds of magic could be heard. There was a click, and the once dark room lit up.

The living room was a good deal more crowded than it had been the day before. Boxes were littered everywhere, each of them filled to the brim with everything from clothes to books to action figures. Some items didn’t even have the luxury of being placed in boxes, instead being housed in thick brown paper bags. In a few days all of it would to sorted and put away, but for now it just sat there, a testament to all of the hard work that had happened that day.

Rarity, with a slow meandering pace, made her way into her home. Her eyes were half-lidded and there were a few hairs out of place in her mane. The unicorn had been running around since early morning getting James moved in. Boxes had been moved, a new bed had been ordered, ponies had been made aware as to what was going on, and all of this showed with each slow, tired step that she took.

James, with both arms laden with bags and knickknacks, was next to enter the house. His shirt was soaked in sweat, his back hurt as did his arms and his dogs were barking up a storm. His eyes, partially covered by sweat soaked hair, held the gaze of a man that had walked through the Underworld and back.

If Rarity had had a long day his was an even longer one. Most of the heavy lifting in his move had been done by him and he could feel the price of refusing his marefriend’s help. He was tired, incredibly so, but, oddly enough, though he was aching in places that he didn’t even know could ache, he was still smiling.

“It’s going to be a long couple of days,” he told Rarity as he walked into the living room and set the bags down. Grunting, he stretched, wincing as his spine popped, before sitting down on unicorn’s diva. “We still gotta get all of this stuff put away.”

Blowing a bit of her mane out of her face, the fashionista walked over and hopped onto the diva with him. With a tired whine she put her head in his lap. “And not only that but we must find somepony to purchase your house.”

Her whine turned into a happy groan as James began running his fingers through her mane. While any other time she might have chastised him for ruining the hours of work that it took to get her mane in presentable condition with those fingers of his if she wasn’t tired. And besides, feeling his digits scratching her scalp was just what she needed after a long, hard day like today.

“Well, at least Rockington likes her new digs,” James casually remarked as she nuzzled her cheek against his thigh.

Opening an eye, she looked over to her coffee table. There, sitting on a small royal purple pillow, was a rock about the size of James’s fist. Opal was pawing at the thing with a flabbergasted look, as if she didn’t know what to make of it.

“It seems like Opal is taking a liking to her,” Rarity mused, taking a moment to appreciate just how ludicrous her statement was.

Humming, James let his hands wander from her scalp to her neck. The tips of his fingers began digging into the stiff muscles there, making her groan aloud. “Holy cow are you tense,” he muttered as she wiggled into his lap.

The unicorn’s groan turned into a mewl as he applied a little more pressure, kneading the tense flesh like a baker kneading dough. Rarity’s eyelids fluttered as he reached a particularly stiff spot. “Oh that is indeed wonderful~” she muttered, her tail flicking back and forth happily. “You are indeed a treasure, my dear.”

“Well, hopefully I’m the cool kind of treasure like a magic sword or doubloons,” James told his marefriend, kneading her withers.

Rarity bite her lip as she felt his thumbs rubbing circles along her back. His touch was firm, loving, and with each poke and knead she found it harder and harder to keep her eyes open. Though she would have liked nothing more than to just lie here in her coltfriend’s lap until she fell asleep under his tender care she nevertheless reached up and grabbed his hands.

“While I know that you cannot keep your hands of me you ruffian I must insist that you contain yourself,” she teased with a smile, giving the back of his hand a kiss. “It has gotten late and as you said we have another big day ahead of ourselves.” Not wanting his other hand to feel left out, she leaned over and planted a sweet kiss on that hand as well. “So I think it is time for the two of us to make our way to the bedroom to get our rest.”

As the fashionista pressed her lips against his other hand with a loud “mwah”, James’s turned an interesting shade of red. He could feel a tingle in his hands from where the unicorn had put her lips. That tingle worked its way up to his chest, making his heart beat a little faster as Rarity let out a sleepy hum. He could feel his marefriend’s warmth as she laid on top of him, he could smell that scent of vanilla that he had become so fond of.

His fingers twitched as he imagined grabbing her and gently setting her in his lap. He’d wrap his arms around her as she giggled, pressing her back against his chest. Though the diva wasn’t especially large the two of them would manage to fit on it together as they laid down. Rarity would roll over, a blush on her snow white cheeks, and she’d press her forehead against his. He could feel a yearning the likes of which he had never felt before as he imagined himself looking into her eyes as the two of them drifted off to sleep. But even with that image in his mind, and even with the realization that he had it in his power to make such a thing come true, he gave his head a light shake, pulling his hands away from her hooves.

“Alright then, if my lady wishest to slumber in the comfort of her own chambers then I shall see to it that she does.” Wrapping his arm around her, he picked up her. “Come, let us be off to dreamland.”

A delighted giggle escaped Rarity’s lips as he pressed her body against him. “As you wish, my prince,” she said, wrapping her hooves around his neck and placing her head on his shoulder.

It was a quick trip up the stairs and into the bedroom. Not bothering to turn on the lights, James walked over and set Rarity onto the bed. The unicorn, with another pleased giggle, wiggled under the covers as he kicked his shoes off. His shirt was next to go, then his socks. Yawning, he lifted his arms up high, grunting as he felt more bones popping.

“Whoo, what a day,” he muttered as the day’s activities finally began to finally take their toll. “What a day.”

He turned around to look at his marefriend. The unicorn had just her head poking out from the covers expectantly. “Come along dear,” she said, patting the space beside her.

For a moment James was speechless. The pale light of the moon shined through the window, illuminating everything in the room. Rarity, his marefriend, the pony with whom the fates seemed to have dropped into his lap, seemed to be glowing in this soft, gentle light. In it he could see her perfect smile, he could see the warmth in her eyes and the way that she oh so delicately held onto the edges of the covers. He could see the outlines of her body underneath the thin covers as well as the way that her mane, now messy and out of place because of him, hid part of her face.

He opened his mouth to say something, maybe make her giggle with a joke or a quip, but his mouth wouldn’t work. She was beautiful; stunningly, jaw-droppingly beautiful. And she was all his.

A tint of pink flashed across the fashionista’s features as he stood there dumbstruck. “Come along, darling,” she cooed, pulling down the covers a bit. “It’s rude to keep a lady waiting.”

Her horn glowed, and with a gentle tug of her magic she began to pull James toward her. She sat up as he got closer, wrapping her hooves around his neck. With her blue eyes shining, she tugged him toward the nape of her neck. James let out a sigh as his face was buried into her soft, supple fur. In the quiet stillness of the room he could hear her heartbeat. From above he could hear her breathlessly giggling.

With another firm tug, and a smile on her face, Rarity pulled him onto the bed with her. James, not removing his face from its coveted spot, wrapped his arms around her barrel as, with another spell, the covers were thrown on top of him.

“There we go,” the fashionista murmured, rubbing the top of his head with her cheek. “Right where you belong.”

She could feel James’s hot breath wash over her neck as he sighed. She could feel the tips of his fingers grazing the small of his back. No doubt soon they’d make their way upward toward her withers and her neck. When that happened Rarity was sure she’d find herself in her favorite position: with her chin resting on his shoulder and her horn pressed against his cheek, safe and warm and enveloped by her big teddy bear of a coltfriend. But before that happened, before they fell asleep in each other’s arms, she needed to do something.

“James? Could you be a dear and look up at me for a moment?” she asked, running a hoof through his hair. “Please?”

Her smile widened when he looked up at her. “Whatcha need, Rar—”

The fashionista leaned down. “Mwah.”

James twitched as her lips came in contact with his cheek. As she pulled away her smile turned mischievous. She could already see him reddening. If she played her cards right she make could him so flustered he’d be a blushing, shimmering mess.

“Good night, my dear,” she cooed, leaning down to nuzzle his nose.

As she did that though something flashed across James’s face. The yearning that he had felt sitting on that diva twisted in his stomach. His eyes were drawn to Rarity’s slightly parted lips. He found himself leaning up, driven by some otherworldly force. His lips puckered and, placing a hand on the back of her head, he pressed his lips against hers. His eyes closed as their lips connected, shivering in delight as sparks shot up and down his body.

Rarity let out a girlish squeak into his mouth, her eyes wide in surprise. For a second he thought that she was going to pull again, but to his surprise, she didn’t budge. Taking that as a sign to continue he deepened the kiss, relishing his marefriend’s softness, her warmth, her smell, the way that her lips tasted as she began to kiss him back.

While he was no stranger to kissing, this kiss felt different. It was like he was a little kid again and the girl he liked had agreed to give him a smooch for his grape Jolly Ranchers. His thoughts were running a mile a minute, he felt himself getting sweatier by the second, he felt so anxious that he wanted to crawl under the bed but he also felt so excited and happy that he wanted the kiss to last forever. He felt like a piece of him that he hadn’t known was missing just settled into place and there were no words to describe how happy that that made him.

When he could take no more he pulled away with a gasp. Lightheaded and so red in the face that he could probably been seen from space, he looked up at Rarity.

The unicorn was just as red as he was and was breathing like she had just ran a marathon. “Oh… oh you rapscallion. Having your way with a lady like that!” she said, touching a hoof to her heaving chest as she tried to catch her breath. “The audacity! The impertinence! The… the…”

Before he could open his mouth to say anything she darted down, pressing her lips against his with a vigor that he had never before seen in the elegant unicorn.

James’s eyes fluttered closed as the sensations came rushing back in full force. In the back of his mind he was desperately trying to think of a joke but soon all thought was turned into mush with each ecstatic, joyful, hungry kiss.

He didn’t know how long the two of them laid there, nuzzling and kissing and holding each other, but when he finally came to all he could see was his marefriend’s eyes. Rarity had her forehead pressed up against his, and she was giving him a look that made his heart ache in the best way possible. Looking down he noticed that one of his hands was wrapped around her hoof. He had it pressed up against his chest, his thumb tracing the delicate frog.

“If our fates were not intertwined I would be very sore with you,” the fashionista said, looking down at him with mock indignation. “The two of us have not even begun to date and you’re stealing kisses as if you were entitled to them!”

James chuckled, nuzzling closer to her. “Better to be entitled than untitled, Rare-bear.”

Rarity’s mouth twitched, and a smile once again came to her face unabated. The two just looked at each other for a long moment, their eyes shining.

“Good night, darling.”

James could feel her free hoof wrapping around his shoulder, the fur on her leg tickling his bare back.

“Good night, Rarity.”

Rarity hummed as she felt his arm wrap around her barrel, making sure that she wouldn’t get away from him. James gave her hoof a squeeze and, without a second thought, she squeezed back.

“I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Promise?”

For a moment, Rarity seemed to glow as she stared at him hopefully, wistfully. Their lips connected as the two shared one last kiss.

“Promise. Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.”

7: Sunday

James smiled as Rarity sighed softly in his ear. The fashionista was still asleep, nestled comfortably against him.

A sleepy murmur escaped Rarity’s throat. Her body twitched and her tail slapped against his legs. James could feel her grip around him tighten ever so slightly as she wiggled closer. Without a second thought his grip tightened around her, and with a murmur of his own he nuzzled the top of her head. That seemed to calm the unicorn down as she once again went still, her chest gently rising and falling.

Though he didn’t look at the clock James guessed that it had to be around three or four in the morning. The night, though nearing the end of the tunnel, still held its grip on the land. The bedroom, the house and the area surrounding it were completely silent. There wasn’t a creature stirring, not Opal, not Rockington, not the beautiful unicorn in his arms. The only one in the house that didn’t have the common sense to be asleep was himself.

He had been finding himself like this a lot lately; just holding onto Rarity as he waited for the sun to rise. As he had grown older he had found himself needing less and less sleep, though it wasn’t for lack of trying to get his eight hours. He didn’t know what was the problem. His bed was as comfortable as could be, Rarity didn’t snort or snore or kick him and it wasn’t like he slept all through the day.

Perhaps it was just something that came with getting old? Maybe his restless mind was trying to tell him something? The house might have been built on ancient deer burial grounds and the angry spirits could have been keeping him up.

He didn't know, though he secretly hoped it was the third option.

A yawn escaped his throat as he began to run his fingers through his bed buddy’s hair. In a few hours the sun would rise and its light would come through the window behind him. Its golden rays would wash over the two of them. Rarity’s nose would scrunch up as the light would hit her face and she’d wiggle closer against him to get away from the light. Eventually the rays would bath the whole room in such a way that she wouldn’t be able to sleep anymore. After that her eyes would open and she’d get up and rush to the bathroom so that she could get ready and start her day.

A ghost of a smile came to James’s face. Her eyes would be half-lidded and unfocused, her mane would be all over the place, she’d have patch of drool on her chin and cheek and the fur on her face would be so messy that he couldn’t understand just how she managed to come out of the bathroom an hour later looking like a million bits.

Truly, at the moment that she opened his eyes to look at him, though frazzled and exposed, she was the most beautiful creature in the world.

James perked up as a noise shattered the silence of the house. Two sets of hooves could be heard charging down the hallway toward their bedroom. These weren’t the footfalls of an adult pony however, but the steps of two young, excitable children.

“Mommy, mommy! Daddy, daddy!”

Before he could lift his head from his pillow the bedroom door was thrown open. With a bang the edge of the door slammed against the wall. A moment later the sounds of glass breaking filled the air as one of the pictures hanging on the wall plummeted to the ground.

Rarity tensed against him as she went from fast asleep to wide awake. “James? James! We are being robbed, dear!” she cried, her head swiveling as she held onto him. “Call the authorities! Call Twilight! Call—”

James watched with bemusement as two shapes darted into the room and toward the end of the bed. He had time to raise an eyebrow as two pairs of eyes poked over the covers to stare at them. They were pretty little blue eyes. Filled with excitement, happiness and awake even at this hour. They were the eyes of children; children that he knew very well.

“Exclusive, Bernina, what did I tell you two about trying to scare your mother half to death?” he asked as he held a shaking Rarity close.

The eyes looked at each other before they looked back at him. “Only do it on Nightmare Night,” two shrill, adolescent voices answered in unison.

Rarity’s ears perked up. “Exclusive? Bernina?” she said, exhaustion thick in her voice. “Oh my goodness you nearly gave me a heart attack!”

Regret could be seen in the two pairs of eyes. “Sorry mommy,” one of the eyes said.

“Yeah, sorry mommy. We didn’t mean to scare you,” the other added.

James yawned into a hand as he looked over at the clock that he had sitting on the nightstand by the bed. It was four in the morning on the dot. Even though his beautiful little girls were early risers, just like their mother, not even they usually got up this early in the morning. Nuzzling Rarity’s cheek, he racked his brain, trying to think of a reason why the two would have gotten up at this ungodly hour.

Both of his daughters, two pure white little unicorns, both of which had his jet black hair and sense of humor, slowly climbed up onto the bed. Little Exclusive, her mane unruly like it always was, though his wife did everything in her power to tame it, let her horn spark to life. Her little sister, Bernina, who still hadn’t gotten her cutie mark, though he expected to hear the good news any day now, scrunched up her little face in concentration as her horn also sparked to life. There was a pop, and with a burst of magic two plates of food appeared in front of both him and Rarity.

“Happy parent’s day, mommy and daddy!” Bernina chirped, dragging a hoof across her snotty nose.

“Yeah, happy parent’s day!” Exclusive cried with a smile.

There were two pancakes, misshapen and burnt black, on both plates along with some fruit that looked like it had been hacked to pieces and some yellow, flaky mess that might have been hash browns. It wasn’t the most appetizing breakfast that he had ever seen, and he couldn’t help but noticed that both of his daughters were covered in black soot and batter, but James couldn’t help but smile all the same.

“Parents day?” Rarity muttered quietly, her hamster still half asleep. “What on earth are the two of you talking—”

“It’s our anniversary today,” James helpfully supplied, kissing his wife’s brow.

Rarity's mouth became an O shape as a look of realization flashed across her face. "Oh my goodness," she muttered. "Is it that time already? I had nearly forgotten..."

“Yeah! It’s your annie-ver-serie!” Bernina said, looking so happy that she might burst. “Me an’ sis remembered aunt Twily talkin’ about it the other day so we made you two breakfast in bed!”

“I made the pancakes!” Exclusive said with a wiggle. “Bernina made the other stuff!”

Rarity, though her eye twitching at the mess that both of her daughters were making of her bed sheets, smiled. “Aw, well thank you ever so much, my dears,” she said as she touched a hoof to her chest.

“It looks… delicious,” James added.

Both of the girls’ chests puffed out at the praise.

“We worked real hard on it, daddy!”

“Yeah! We got up extra early an’ everything!”

Still smiling, James planted a kiss on the top of Rarity’s head. No doubt the kitchen looked like a tornado had gone through it. There were probably plates stacked up high in the sink, batter and lord knows what would be all over the floors, the walls and the ceiling and, if they were particularly unlucky something might have even been on fire. He also wouldn’t be surprised if his daughters tried to get out of school today to help the two of them “celebrate” but even still, with all of that in mind, he couldn’t help but grin as he held his disheveled, tired, beautiful wife against his side.

Rarity, though she no doubt had the same thoughts about a messy kitchen as he was, looked up at him with a smile. It was a smile that not very many saw, a smile that she first shared with him when the two had decided to move into together. James had also seen that smile when he had gotten down on his knee and pulled out the ring that she now wore on her horn. It was a loving smile; the kind of smile that you only gave someone that you loved more than anything. It was the kind of smile only known to those who were lucky enough to have the fate intertwined with someone else.

A warmth filled his chest as he leaned down and gave Rarity, his friend, his bed buddy, his wife, his love, the mare who’s plate that he ate off of when she wasn’t looking, a kiss. Rarity, with a giggle, closed her eyes and kissed back.

Just like the first time he kissed her a jolt raced throughout his body. He could feel his heart beating in his chest. He could feel his wife’s mane, still shockingly soft even after all of these years together, tickle his face as she leaned up. It was wonderful, it was perfect, it made him feel like a little kid with a crush and a bag of Jolly Ranchers in his pocket. In the background he could hear his daughters gagging and making other disgusted noises but he ignored it, simply deepening the kiss.

Rarity, her eyes still closed, wrapped her hooves around his neck. Not breaking the kiss, she laid the two of them back into the bed and under the covers.

In a few moments the two would have to get up. They’d have to choke down what their daughters had made for them, they’d have to race downstairs and clean up the kitchen and get both of the girls ready and out the door for school before the first morning bell rang and after that they’d have to go out and start their days. But, under those soft silk covers, for those few moments, the husband and wife just simply laid together and loved.

Breaking the kiss, Rarity pressed her forehead against his. One of her eyes opened, filled with warmth and love and joy “Happy anniversary, you old ruffian.”

James cupped his wife’s cheek. Not able to help himself, he leaned down and snuck another kiss. “Happy anniversary, you old lady you.”

Author's Notes:

Just a little something that I thought up a few weeks ago. This was the only chapter that I was kinda iffy about but I think it's fine regardless.

Tell me what you guys thought about this little story of mine.