Compartmentalization is a joke. At first, it seems like an ideal solution: lock all of your problems away in separate color coded psychological containers, keeping them from accumulating and overwhelming you all at once. Organizationally speaking it’s rather brilliant, as trying to deal with every single issue simultaneously just isn’t feasible for the human psyche. The problem comes after, when those mental containers become a little too convenient and the temporary storage becomes permanent displacement. What’s worse is that the more you hide the problem away, the harder it becomes to recall the details of exactly why it was important to deal with in the first place. At some point, you lose track of the problem completely, a small, nagging whisper in the depths of your psyche the only indicator that at one point, you pushed aside something you probably should have dealt with.

Why isn’t that ideal? To just let things that seem impossible to handle fade away, declining into the nothingness of ignorance? Well, perhaps in the short-term it’s an excellent coping mechanism. But nothing truly fades away into nothingness. The things you compartmentalize and forget about don’t miraculously dissipate. They are compressed, into a focused consolidation of all the things that haunt you, smashing the literal sum of your fears into a single, spring-loaded container, one which will be unceremoniously shoved in your face at the worst possible time. In my case, this was almost literal as the Pink Demon had seemed to have taken up residence in my head since our bonding experience, personifying my fears even in her absence.

‘What’s in the box?!’ My subconscious snapped, pacing back and forth on the desolate fields of reflection as the pink demon watched with eerie glee.

‘The real you.’ Imaginary Pinky answered cheerful as usual, fondling the box’s bright red bow. Well I won’t be opening THAT any time soon. My mind drifted back to the time she’d approached me on the balcony. She had warned me, and ever since ignoring that warning I’d started to fall apart. I still wouldn’t say that I regretted that decision. It was more my original belief that her words amounted to nothing more than some sort of self-fulfilling prophecy that was becoming increasingly suspect

The current state of things was a bit of a mess. I cared about Fluttershy; it was an uncomfortable fact, even if I wasn’t ready to face the specifics of how much I cared. But the simple reality was that she had left too many things left unsaid, too much vital information conspicuously absent from our previous interactions. I needed to know why, and it was high time for some answers.

Focus on the task at hand, Kate. It was the third day that Twilight had come to visit at the hospital to discuss my condition as she’d spent a significant amount of time researching on my account, yet I couldn’t concentrate; I’d been lost in thoughts of how to best approach the problematic Pegasus. As the memory of her improvised interrogation was still fresh in my mind, I found myself leaning towards a semi-public meeting place for our discussion, to reduce to possibility of… complications. Oh look Kate: you managed to jump straight from the engagement stage of your ‘fake relationship’ straight to the ‘messy divorce’ stage. Lovely.

“-And that’s why you’ll probably be sent to the royal dungeons.” My head whipped around, receiving a rather amused expression in return from Twilight. “Oh, so you were listening.”

“You now have my complete undivided attention. But Twi, could you possibly break this theory down to laypony terms? You kind of lost me when we ventured into the complex equation territory.” While I can appreciate a theory, I’m a philosophy major for a reason. Nodding in a somewhat pretentious manner, she telekinetically seized a leftover piece of paper, along with a silver crayon Sweetie Belle had left behind. Explanatory tools in horn and hoof, she drew a rather basic picture of a pudgy looking broom… with a tail.

“So here we have you.” she indicated the sketch with her hoof.

“That’s meant to be me?”

“Yes.”

“You realize that looks nothing-“

“-Did you want me to go back to the equations?” Her voice wasn’t necessarily mean, more the tone of a chiding teacher who’s already going far out of her way to help in the explanation process. I wisely sat back, zipping my lip as I prepared myself for the crayon illustrated edition of ‘advanced metaphysics for dummies.’ Adding squiggles to the drawing, she extended it to me. “This is you when you first came to Equestria-“

“Right, when I transformed into a giant squid-“ the withering glare at my wisecrack cut me off rather quickly. “Sorry. Shutting up.” I wasn’t intentionally taking it lightly. It was the nerves talking more than anything. Obviously, even if she was completely right I wouldn’t get all the answers, but this was my first step to getting any answers whatsoever. Really though, she makes Sweetie Belle look like Da Vinci.

“These squiggles” she emphasized, looking me straight in the face as if daring me to contradict her, “represent a leyline aura, possibly obtained by passing through a sort of magical singularity between dimensions. Now, it is true that despite my research, most of this is conjecture. Had we not…” Clearing her throat, she looked away from me awkwardly. “…established that unicorns are most strongly affected by this aura of yours, it’s doubtful I’d even be tentatively confident in this theory. You remember what I told you about earth ponies not being able to discharge mana gathered from leylines?” I nodded, not particularly inclined dwell on the memory of how that particular discussion had ended. “Well, it’s my theory that your magical ‘receptors,’ as it were, are functioning abnormally. You’re somehow gathering massive amounts of mana, and as you have no way to ‘harness’ it, your body is emitting it the only way it can: The unfocused aura I mentioned.” I leaned forward while still maintaining a cautious distance, my lesson learned from our previous academic conversation

“Assuming that’s accurate, I don’t get why that would make- why it would, um-“

“Trigger arousal?” Ding ding ding, give the mare a prize. Now it was my turn to look away awkwardly.

“Right.” I muttered. Twilight sighed in the resigned manner of an astronomy teacher about to lecture on the seventh planet from the sun.

“Mana’s integration with the body in many ways mimics the pony nervous system. You’ve probably noticed by now that pegasi have a certain… obvious reaction that indicates interest.” Professional as she was attempting to be, the subject in question was undoubtedly uncomfortable for both of us.

“You’re referring to the… um… wing thing?” It wasn’t the best choice of words, but what the heck was I supposed to call it? Twilight winced.

“Quite. When a Pegasus is in their neutral psychological state, they retain control over the flow of mana to their wings. Without that control, flight would be impossible. For obvious reasons, when the wing flaring reaction does occur, it’s because mana is involuntarily being flushed to the wings as well as… other areas.” Twilight augmented her drawing of a pegasus with a pair of diagonal strands that were possibly meant to represent the erected wings.

“ I follow you so far.” Looking at Twilight’s drawings was like cloud watching, or taking the Rorschach test; Disturbing things appeared in the aimless void if one looked for too long. A pony with curly hair was standing in front of an open door in the ink, facing away. I blinked several times, trying to clear my vision before looking again. CRAP- The curly haired pony in the ink was now facing towards me, forelegs outstretched, a wide smile etched across her smudged face, half a dozen strings attached to floating spheres tied to her hoof. ‘Don’t you want a balloon?!’ I tore my eyes away from the drawing. I was finally getting some answers, the last thing I needed was Pinkie on the brain. “So why do I only elicit… em…that kind of reaction.”

“Well, as I’ve said, it’s entirely conjecture at this point, but my theory is that it’s actually not the only reaction. It’s just the most noticeable one. Assuming you do, in some way, ‘overcharge’ mana production, arousal is just the most significant side-effect; a natural byproduct of the increase in mana having nowhere else to go. If I’m right, it essentially floods the external leylines. In my example, for instance, the natural stiffening of the wing leylines in pegasi.”

I was torn between groaning and laughing, not particularly thrilled with the revelation. “If I’m understanding correctly, you’re saying it’s not just simple bad luck; I might be scientifically qualified as a walking aphrodisiac”

“Exactly!” Twilight exclaimed, too preoccupied with her theory to notice my state of gloom. “It really is too bad you don’t have a horn or wings; if you were able to focus the mana somehow at a particular point, the possibilities would be boundless, an entirely new use of magic.” She frowned. “As it is, your condition is sort of like a leaking energy cell with no real practical use.” Well, at least she’s honest. We should throw a ‘hurray for missed potential’ party to celebrate. And there was much rejoicing…

“…Yay…”

“Oh, well I don’t mean that in an unkind way, I’m just giving you the facts. As I’ve said, it’s just a theory until we experiment.” The last part was so nonchalant it took me a few seconds to catch it.

“Right… wait, experiment?” She responded to my uncertainty by rubbing her hooves together in a somewhat disconcerting glee.

“What is science without testing?”

Note to self: The above sentence should be translated as follows: RUN.

The experiment had begun far earlier than I realized, branching all the way back to her first hospital visit. Twilight’s response to my condition over the last few days had been significantly reduced by her own theoretical solution put into practice. The key was right in front of my face the whole time, almost literally. Casting a spell on the dark rimmed glasses, she expanded the nose before extended the frames to me

“Try these.” Still a bit lost, I put the still warm frames on my nose, noting the oddity that there was no discernible prescription in the lenses.

“Still twenty-twenty.” I tittered nervously. Twilight jotted a note down studiously as I fidgeted, not particularly enjoying the analysis. She spoke without looking up, lost in the process of logging every detail of the exercise.

“I’ve been working on a mana warding spell, one meant to block full body reception of mana leylines. Once that was perfected, I tried it for myself. I chose the glasses because I needed something that would rest close to the center of the brain. So far, it’s worked perfectly on my end…”

“Oh! So that explains why you weren’t-um.”

“Right.” She looked up, as if pleading for me to not continue that line of thought. “The base concept seems to have worked. But as it’s not exactly realistic for me to commission a ward to every pony in Ponyville, I’ve reversed the spell so it holds mana in instead of keeping it out.” She looked at me expectantly, waiting to hear my thoughts. Now that she mentioned it, there was a strange humming in the back of my head that wasn’t usually present.

“Is it working?” Pushing the glasses up on my nose, I tried my best to ignore the incessant hum.

“Not sure, try to provoke a response.”

Wait, as in you want me to be… alluring? Clearing my throat, I found myself stumped. My focus had always been to avoid romantic attention, not to seek it out. Frankly, I had absolutely no idea what I was doing.

“Er- What’s a mare like you doing in a place like this?”

Smooth one Don Juan-ette.

“Research.” She said reflexively, before looking up at me with a bemused face. “Wait, was that supposed to be a pick up line?” I glared, rising to the challenge.

“You know, the nurses probably won’t check on us again for at least half an hour. That gives us enough time to do… all sorts of things.” Puffing my chest out, I tried to look sultry while attempting to hide the fact I’d just thrown up in my mouth a little. My cheeks burned as Twilight’s shoulders shook with silent laughter.

“Not too bad, -snicker- maybe try letting your mane down.” I complied, ears still burning in embarrassment. After taking a thoughtful look, Twilight began to write rapidly, giving back to back commands to test out different variants of appearance. “Glasses off. Mane up. Glasses on. Mane down. Let’s just push that mane right back up. Now glasses off-“

“-I’m beginning to think your just toying with me, Twi…” My head was starting to hurt. Fake pouting, I cocked my head at her pleadingly, biting on the left arm of the glasses in faux angst. Twilight stared at me for a second, eye twitching, before covering her face dramatically with both hoofs.

“AUGH! GLASSES ON GLASSES ON GLASSES ON!”

Fumbling for the frames, I frantically jammed them back on my nose while the unicorn continued to hold her hoofs over her eyes. Peeking through her forelegs apprehensively, she resumed her writing once she was certain my momentary ‘assault’ had ended, mumbling the notes aloud as she jotted them down. “Subject… still emitting strong aura without ward… ward seems to be holding when equipped. Proximity testing complete… now commencing testing of ward’s efficiency in regards to direct physical contact.

Uh oh.

“You want me to do WHAT?”

“It’s better this way, so we can see the results in a controlled environment.”

“Na-uh. Nope. Not going to happen. “

“I’ve taken all the necessary precautions, just get it over with-“

“Argh! My unicorn wound, it burns! NURSE! MORE MORPHINE STAT!”

“A little maturity wouldn’t hurt, Kate.”

“Maturity? Maturity? I’m not the one who just asked for me to put my you-know-what on her you-know-where.”

“For science… And of course it sounds bad when you say it like that.”

“Twi... I know I may be heavily medicated and all, but I can’t possibly be the only one who sees something wrong with playing doctor in the middle of a damn hospital.”

Twilight blew her bangs out of her face with a fussy huff, looking thoroughly displeased with me.

“I wasn’t suggesting that at all! I’m not really even asking you to do anything obscene.”

“Oh! Alright then. So when Celestia inevitably investigates and asks you to point out on Mr. Smartypants where exactly the bad human touched you, is she going to share your definition of obscene?”

“Er- Well, that’s a matter of context.”

“See, I’m pretty sure I’ll already be halfway to the moon at the moment you tell her I intentionally touched your horn, and any sort of context will be a little too late.”

“But on the other hoof,” she interjected heatedly, “An ‘accident’ with Fluttershy may happen if your aura goes unchecked; the right amount of cuddling at the wrong time and you’ll spend the rest of the month worrying about a different kind of ‘late.’“

Ouch

Note to self: Twilight is not afraid to go for the jugular in an argument.

Having completely decimated my defenses with a solid point, Twilight covered a smile as I sputtered awkwardly, completely unable to form a retort. Her eventual laughter was infectious, and I found myself laughing along with her regardless of the fact that the joke was on me. I wiped my eyes gently, still giggling intermittently. It was different: being able to disagree with someone so fervently one moment and laugh with them the next. It was something I didn’t want to lose.

“Twilight, you get why I’m… apprehensive…?” To my surprise, her ears drooped at the memory, and her lower lip quivered uncertainly.

“Your first night here. I- I didn’t understand what was happening, but that’s no excuse for losing control-“ my hand shot out to her hoof instinctively, stopping her in mid-sentence.

“No!” The word was spoken almost vehemently. She glanced back up at me, confused. “I mean, having that happen- Well in the moment it was weird, sure. Honestly though, in the long run, it might as well have been sneeze for all I cared.” Pausing, I looked down at my extended hand, still resting on her hoof. “What bothers me is what happened after that.. incident.”

“After?”

You’re setting yourself up, Kate. History is just going to repeat itself, and telling her, just in time for you to both watch it happen again is only going to make it worse.

Silencing my inner doubt, I took the plunge.

“Things changed.” I cursed the tell-tale waver in my voice. “It got…worse over time. Eventually you could barely even stand to be in the same room as me. That… hit me harder than I would have thought. You’ve been a really good friend Twilight-“ crap, why does it sound like I’m saying goodbye- “And I don’t have enough good friends to take it lightly when it comes to the possibility of losing them.

Slowly she covered my hand with other her hoof. “I get it… and I’m sorry. We’ll figure out some other way to test it.

“Thanks for understanding. Really." Can I keep these?” I indicated the glasses, reluctant with the idea of parting with them, though more than ready for that strange humming in the back of my head to stop.

“Sure, I rather the librarian look,” she teased, “be careful though, that enchantment took ages to cast, and I was rather lucky it took on the first try. You may as well give them a trial run, though from what I’ve heard you don’t have much to worry about from Nurse Redheart as it is. Want to meet around the same time tomorrow?”

At first I was excited. I’d never worn any eyewear other than sunglasses, so I immediately went to the bathroom to check on my new and improved librarian appearance. What I found was… harrowing, to put it lightly

That’s no librarian.

I groaned. The girl in the mirror seemed to look back at me with pretentious dislike, a strange sensation as I felt my face was completely neutral. She smirked at me, seeming to wordlessly laugh at my inferiority. Twilight was very wrong. These weren’t the glasses of an innocent yet secretly sexy librarian. Oh no: The lenses were too wide, too counter-culture. These were the glasses of a girl who was above sex appeal, one who begrudgingly shopped at urban outfitters when the thrift store was lacking in vintage ironic, a girl who refused to buy music in any form other than vinyl.

Equestria had forced me into the role of a walking paradox. Kate Winsor: The hipster with a butterfly tramp stamp.

Why. Dear god why.

The humming in the back of my head was turning into a dull throb, picking up more volume over time.

AN: I’ve been itching to start writing this new arc I thought up over the three or four days I’ve not had access to a computer. Unfortunately, I didn’t manage to get more than half what I had planned for this chapter done before my vocabulary started eating itself, as I’ve not slept much for those few days. Move out deadlines and whatnot. Thus the “part one”’ If you’ve not already guessed, the glasses aren’t going to be a be all end all problem solver, if anything they just... reframe... the conflict. I’m so sorry. I get punny when I’m tired. Part 2 of the chapter will be up sometime tomorrow, and ideally shed some clarifying light on Flutters. (It's also more relevant to the title)
Two big shoutouts real quick,
Firstly to Barbetos for some awesome art of last chapter that I will probably post along with a few other things in a blog tomorrow,
Secondly to Lithl, for guessing the (general) idea behind Kate's condition WAAAAY back in chapter 2.

P.S. Again, I’m sorry if there are any obvious grammar mistakes. Not only did I want to get started on the new arc, but I really wanted to get something out for you all since it’s been a few days. Will be fixed the next time I’m conscious.