“Oh joyous occasion!!” Luna bellowed, followed up by a squee as she wrapped Fredrick up tightly in her embrace with an accompanying yelp from him.

He had to viciously tap out on her shoulder as she was squeezing his chest cavity into his intestines with her alicorn strength… all which came to pass after he told her the news of the following night’s plans. Like Luna had predicted (though he did not divulge exactly how much of his hand was forced by Stella), the mare had said yes to his proposal.

And it was time to prepare for the first date night.

Luna finally released the hyperventilating human from the tight confines of her chest.

Oh the agony.

“So,” Luna began, clapping her hands together all giddy like. “I trust when you retrieve her in the morrow, that you shall go looking handsome and bearing a little something for her, yes?”

Hands behind his back, Fredrick, in casual clothes, nodded deeply to his demi-goddess of a friend with all the confidence he could muster.

“Wouldn’t dream of not doing it! It’s also how we did it back on Earth, so I was happy to hear that the practice was little different here,” he confirmed.

He then sat on the foot of her bed, gesturing with his hands as he revealed his further plans, and Luna joined him in kind.

“I figured my work clothes would be fine, so I’ll wear a set of those. Flowers are very much in style here, so in speaking with Celestia, she and I felt that the safest bet would be just that. The only issue with that is me not knowing what the hell her favorite flowers are.”

Luna adopted a much more condescending look, though Fred knew well that she meant nothing malicious by it… and in the end, he knew well that he was about to be told how wrong he was.

She chuckled audibly.

“Oh my sweet, coatless daywalker,” Luna said, cupping the right side of Fredrick’s face and stroking his cheek with her thumb as she got back to her hooves.

Smoothing out her less-formal, sleeveless dress, she sauntered straight towards her desk with a purpose.

And of course, Fredrick had to respond to that. Rolling his eyes, he fell back onto the bed, splaying his arms as he took the bait:

“Alright, I’ll bite. What am I doing wrong?”

Her back still turned to him, Luna’s silhouette was outlined pristinely by the bright moonlight from outside, showcasing her willing a bit of her magic into existence. Her ethereal touch grasped ahold of a spare piece of parchment paper and a quill.

Demonstrating her ability to multitask brilliantly, Luna called back over her shoulder whilsts scribbling:

“I am merely wondering whether or not you know your greatest friend… suddenly turned marefriend, as well as you should. I mean, flowers? Stella? Verily?” she questioned.

Fredrick snickered.

“Flowers for Stella. That’d be a best-selling book…”

“Hmmm?”

“N-Nothing, just talking to myself,” Fred quickly dismissed. “But okay fine, so maybe flowers are a bit… inappropriate for a mare like her. Okay.”

He then added with a sarcastic huff:

“What do you suggest for a first date presentation? Alcohol?”

Luna only glanced over her shoulder, eyebrow raised, and nodded very slowly.

“Ummm, yes? What else does she love to do… aside from threatening to rip your genitals off?”

Fred had to concede that point, at the very least.

“Fair. But I've gotten her alcohol all the time in the past, and she gets me the same. How would this be any different? I wanted it to be just a little more special this time around, ya know.”

Luna chuckled as she punctuated her markings on that slip of paper, turning to Fredrick and retaking her seat back on the bed.

“Oft giving of alcohol and giving alcohol as a pre-date offering are not mutually exclusive. And in this department, I truly wonder what you would do without me,” she said, jokingly chiding him whilst handing him that mysterious piece of paper with only four words on it.

“Here.”

Fredrick took the note between his fingers and reread those fateful words several times over, not finding them familiar in the slightest.

“‘Northern Sapphire Cream Cutie.’ Huh, never heard of it.”

Luna pursed her lips, not particularly surprised at Fred’s selective obliviousness.

“And that is why you’re a terrible friend,” she teased before elaborating.

“This is Stella’s absolute favorite alcohol, produced only in her home of the Northern Mountain Range. You shall find a sufficient-sized bottle at the alcohol shoppe next to the theater on Chrysanthemum Way.”

Fredrick struggled to contain a hearty giggle at his out-of-touch friend’s expense.

“‘Ye olde alcohol shoppe?’ Jesus, Luna we really gotta bring you up to speed on the modern concept of a fucking liquor store,” he declared, turning loose his laughter once he witnessed Luna widen her eyes and roll them comically.

Then, she tilted her head towards him, laying her cheek on her shoulder. Fred could sense the impending cheek about to ooze from her mouth.

“It would be wise not to play the condescending age card with me, my love,” she began, crossing her legs and facing him in full with a cocky smirk.

“I have had sex which lasted longer than your entire expected lifespan, while you would be so lucky to get your dick swallowed at a house of ill repute on a Friday evening,” the Lunar Princess painfully shot back, emphasizing more modern wordage she had picked up.

Fred had absolutely nothing to come back to that with, if his recoiled head was anything to go by. He just got dunked on by a mare who had been absent for a thousand years. He deserved whatever fate brought him at this point.

He held both of his hands up with a traumatized look.

“Okay, I’ll admit defeat there but fuck me you went straight for the jugular.”

Luna shrugged with that impish smile that betrayed her princessly image.

“I must keep you grounded somehow! Nevermind that, however. You just focus on purchasing the largest bottle of this that you may find. It is somewhat pricy, but since I know for a fact that my sister pays you well for your skills… and further, I never see you spend money on quite literally anything, I’m most certain you can manage.

“And trust me, Fredrick. You will receive unfathomable amounts of favor with her for such a simple gesture that you take for granted,” she said, gesticulating marvelously.

Fredrick, in jest, looked from the note, back to Luna… then back to the note, and back to Luna.

“Alright… I’m trusting you here…”

“Oh stow your tongue, you. When have I ever steered you wrong?”

One instance came to his mind.

“When you helped Stella prank me two months ago, actually,” Fred noted casually.

He reminisced about that very time when he came back from Celestia’s office after a long day… only to find his entire room and belongings coated in an invisible, magical field that would deliver a nasty static shock when he touched it, as well as massive, randomly exploding party poppers at odd hours of the day and night.

Fred dealt with that for the greater part of the next week until the effects wore off entirely.

Luna blew him a raspberry as she flopped back on her bed, arms stretched overhead. Fred quickly joined her in similar flair and fashion.

“You really are no fun sometimes, you know that? If it would make you feel better, I could possibly help you in a counter-prank against her in say, two weeks?” Luna offered.

At first, Luna had Fredrick’s curiosity. Now she had his attention.

“A counter-prank?” Fred asked, his voice a couple octaves higher.

Luna nodded once, and Fred turned to face her completely on his side, more than curious about Luna’s little offer.

“Do tell~... and preferably not something that would get me broken up with immediately.”

The Lunar Princess giggled maniacally and mirrored Fredrick’s body position. She blinked once and Fred was instantly lost in those deep, reflective pools of teal that were her gorgeous eyes… eyes framed by immaculately curled lashes that only masked the faux sense of immaturity she was putting forth with sophisticated, radiant beauty.

“Tell me, are you familiar with a certain flower known as ‘Poison Joke?’”

It was little secret that Stella was head over heels, balls deep in her job.

Soldiering was the life for her, and she did not think her duties as a royal lunar guard could have become any more involved or intriguing… Until she got a promotion to lieutenant. Then things became just so. Gone were the days of being a grunt, and in place, she received more than just a modicum of power; she was in charge of an entire platoon now. Of course, this came with all the flair of some upgraded armor, more badges and stripes on her soldier’s uniform, and a requisite (and nice) pay raise. But even more than that, it came with another sense of enormous pride for her, as well as leadership that she so craved.

Contrary to what one might think of her leadership abilities solely based on her attitude, she had developed a generally love/hate rapport with her subordinates overall. Despite it having been barely a month of leading, it had become somewhat of a rite of passage amongst the enlisted troops to get their asses chewed out by her at least once.

Asking any of them would reveal that Stella’s sterling record spoke for itself. Stella herself, in response, would openly claim this was because nopony had the balls to take her to a superior for being ‘too harsh.’

Regardless, she made sure her unit was taken care of and that she showed them just how much pride she had in them.

“You. Fucking. Cockwomble.”

Well… most of the time.

Stella, in standard lunar armor sans helmet, had her platoon lined up in the rally hall in the heart of the barracks. It was exactly that: a place to organize the troops and deploy out from within the lunar barracks, so it was inherently a spartan, flat room of nothingness.

As of right now, the foul-mouthed mare’s sights were locked straight onto her taller, lead Sergeant’s face… laced with indignation that could write novels.

“What did I ask you to do for me, Sergeant Nova?” she asked pointedly.

The armored-up stallion went completely red in the face as he attempted to give his explanation.

“Y-You asked for a list of, ummmm… A list of underperforming guards from my squad, Ma’am.”

Stella nodded once, her eyes playing host to a mare who would tolerate nothing today.

“Aye. I wanted a simple report of ‘who’ and ‘why.’ Well? Where’s my fuckin’ report?”

“I… M-Ma’am… I d-don’t have it.”

Stella groaned, digging her fingers into her temples.

“I swear to Luna’s luscious tits… Nightshade let you get away with a lot of fuckassery when he was in command, but you fuckin’ bet yer bollocks that if you fuck me on this again,” she growled, baring her teeth.

The sergeant sunk lower in his posture in the wake of her growing irritation. She got right in his face.

“...you better drop yer pink frilly fuckin’ knickers ‘cause my fist’ll be going in so dry I’ll start a fuckin’ fire. I will do things to yer asshole that that’re banned under international treaties. Is that clear?!”

The sergeant nodded weakly, gulping nice and hard.

“Y-Yes Lieutenant Sabre.”

“I ASKED ‘IS IT CLEAR,’ FUCKWIT?!” Stella roared.

Even her other troops flinched harshly. And quite the lot of them wore expressions of the deepest pity imaginable for one of their noncoms. It was also neither confirmed nor denied that two stallions and a mare actually shit themselves at Stella’s imperious bellowing.

“Y-YES IT’S CLEAR, MA’AM!” the offending stallion sternly replied, immediately snapping back to attention as well.

Stella righted her own posture and folded her arms behind her back, huffing. That snagglefang that Fredrick always found so cute this time emphasized her signature ‘bollocking face.’

After acknowledgment, she had one last polite ‘suggestion.’

“Good. And for that, you can take yer squad down the mountain and back up here before they’re dismissed. Sound good?”

“Yes, Lieutenant…”

She nodded once.

“Aye.”

She then addressed her less-than thrilled subordinates under Nova’s direct command, though with an odd, prideful smirk and her head held high:

“Unfortunate, laddies an’ lassies, but that’s how ya know it works in the military: yer cockup is everypony else’s cockup. I won’t have insubordination in me ranks, but feel free to give Nova dirty looks and sarcasm whilst you follow his commands. If he gives you shit for it, lemme know in confidence.”

Then came the immediate, coed, uniform and unison reply:

“Ma’am, yes Ma’am!”

“Very well. Nova, it’s your lucky day! I’ve got a hot date tonight so I expect that report dropped through my personal mail flap by midnight tonight!” Stella ordered.

Then, she narrowed her eyes.

“And if you keep this shit up, you can piss off back to the Border Guard and go back to getting spitroasted by Zebra’s an’ Changeling agents.”

Stella thumbed towards the exit.

“Now fuck off, the lot of you.”

From all her order concerned, a unified salute was returned before they all filed out of the rally hall, ready to get a head start on their early-dusk, unprecedented exercise.

Stella watched her ten soldiers file out in two straight lines, and once the sound of their boots droned out of earshot, she faced the rest of her platoon with a much softer, gentler expression.

She began pacing up the line, left arm folded behind her back and gesturing with her right as she spoke:

“As the rest of you lot know, after the initial warm-up exercises and rally, tonight is not our night to either be on station, on patrol, nor to drill.

“SO!” Stella grinned giddily, turning on her left hoof to face her troops, doing her best to make eye contact with all of them as she continued to speak.

“I’d just like to say that in spite of what you all just witnessed, you all are progressing marvelously. Platoon performance is up considerably since last month, and rest assured… those of you who do need that extra wee bit o’ help will get it. You’re fuckups, but you’re my fuckups. That’s an important distinction, mind you.

“That being said, you’re all dismissed!”

Again, she thumbed towards the exit.

“Now you lot fuck off,” Stella gave her last command of the night to a round of chuckling and some hearty claps.

She filed out with the rest of her platoon, exchanging a few handshakes and high-fives (and a couple of ass slaps for the willing mares) but ultimately separated from them to slink into her room. She had planned her regimen today to coincide its ending with twenty-minutes after sunset, which would be exactly when Fred would arrive to fetch her for their little evening together.

Stella reflected on this as she shut herself in her room and, with one fluid motion, shed her entire armor set. She specifically made sure to take part in as little physical exercise as possible today (deciding to be more authoritarian with her commanding this time) so she would not break much a sweat, and consequently, would not have to shower.

She was pretty much as clean as she was after she bathed upon waking, and Stella confirmed this for herself whilst standing in front of her bed in a rather bland black bra and panties.

No really, she smelt fine.

Seriously.

“More than passable,” she declared with a shrug, staring herself down in the mirror and posing in odd positions to determine presentability. That did not take long, and after splashing some water on her face and ensuring coat and mane (in its usual, perfect ponytail form courtesy of going helmetless this evening) were in order, Stella was ready to throw some clothes on.

Now this was the hard part. She normally did not care what she wore, or only cared because she would get a rise out of Fredrick. Now, she actually had a desire to look nice by hers and his standards.

Stella had a little bit of time left, so she stood with her hip cocked, chin resting in the crook of her thumb and index finger as she stared into her small, meticulously organized closet.

Short sleeve?

Blouse?

Tank top?

Midriff? Nah THAT can fuck right off.

She waved her hand around indecisively, furrowing her brow before said hand just happened to fall on one of her tank tops. With her decision made, she snatched out the soft-teal (Fred’s favorite color) garment and wasted little time in pulling it over her upper half. Unlike her loose, sleeping one that she used to draw the human’s attention last week, this one was much more form-fitting and appropriate for an outing. There were thin vertical ribs that ran from collar to hem… which widened tantalizingly when the fabric stretched in kind over the peaks of her chest.

A simple pair of short shorts would go with this, and that was easily accomplished with a few shameless shimmies as she pulled them up over her butt. Doing up the button and zipper and feeding her tail through the rear, Stella placed her left hand on her hip and had herself another look upon the mare in the mirror…

...after adding just a touch of eyeliner.

That mare who stared back was identical… yet maybe just a smidge more reserved than normal. Her eyes drew across her own form with an extra scrutiny that she only afforded to herself when armored or suited up. She paid careful attention to just how well her body played with her current clothes, tracing her noticeable yet in no way overbearing curves through the snug fit of her tank and shorts. Her tail swayed gently with the cadence of her natural breathing, in tandem with her subtly heaving chest as she quite literally stared herself down… searching for even the most minute of imperfections.

Her arms sported that sexy muscle tone that she knew many fawned over, and knowing that Fredrick had a bit of a thing for ‘fit girls,’ as he said, Stella was more than eager to capitalize on that.

She stuck her butt out and flexed her arms in a strongmare fashion with one of those cheeky smiles of hers… then quickly devolved into raucous laughter at the ridiculousness of her antics.

Shaking her head after recomposing, she whispered to herself:

“Fuck’s gotten into ya? You’re hot and he’s always found you hot.”

*KNOCK* *KNOCK* *KNOCK*

Eh?

Stella glanced at the room’s clock, reading the time exactly eight-o’clock, as had been agreed upon.

She glanced back at herself in the mirror.

“Guess you lost track o’ time being a vain cunt… though you’re lookin’ awesome,” she softly spoke to herself, winking at her reflection and then gliding towards her door.

Taking a single moment, Stella smoothed out her tank and pulled it taut against her body before beaming her usual smile and throwing open the door with great flair.

Fredrick took one last, deep breath, steeling himself for the excitement of the moment.

Those butterflies in his stomach did well to act appropriately for the situation; that tingling sensation within him refused to quit. It did not deter him in the slightest, however, and Fred was as resolved as ever to make sure tonight went well. This was his best friend, after all. In his experience, he felt there was more at risk than if this was just with some random mare he met a week ago… he and Stella had a short but admittedly already accumulated history thus far.

Dressed in black slacks, an emerald dress shirt and coordinating tie, Fred ran a single hand through his dutifully parted brown hair and made sure that there was nothing out of place for tonight. He knew Stella would not mind; this was essentially just two best friends heading out for dinner… but still, there was just a little more meaning behind this evening, and as such, Fredrick would like to look and play the part.

He held Stella’s little gift behind his back securely with both of his hands… along with some extra ‘Fredrick’ presentation.

Relax.

You’re calm.

It’s just Stella.

You’re fucking ZEN right now.

Let’s go.

So, he delivered three firm knocks unto the door and waited patiently, shifting back and forth on his heels and toes as he waited for a response. His eyes glanced around, and two guards happened to pass him by, one mare and one stallion. Though not in uniform, both certainly-in-military-grade-shape gave him odd looks based on his attire as well as what he had behind him… and whose room he was standing in front of.

Fredrick was polite enough to return the patented ‘white man smile.’

His attention was instantly forced back towards Stella’s room when the door was flung open, revealing the mare in question dressed up and ready to go.

Her arms were flung outwards and that smile of hers promised good times ahead.

“Awrite there, handsome! Right on fuckin’ time, you predictable twat you!” she greeted.

“Hey! Definitely not looking bad, yourself… you, ummm, unpredictable slag, you,” Fred replied in kind, his eyes instantly drawn to her choice of attire for the evening.

He also could not help but notice that the vertically ribbed tank top she was sporting was exactly his favorite color. Fred had to wonder if she went out and bought it just for him, or if she just happened to have one lying around. The world may never know, and he felt safe in assuming she just had one to spare.

Combined with her ever meticulously maintained ponytail, Stella looked undeniably beautiful and, well, Stella-esque. Yet, the less-casual tank top added a sense of extra sophistication to her visage.

And that was a word he never thought he’d use to describe her.

Stella’s face lit up brightly with a jovial giggle.

“Hey! You’re broadening yer vocabulary… this pleases me!” she said.

She was about to bound forward and throw her arms around Fredrick but she saw the subtle shift of his right arm behind his back and stopped in her tracks. Further, her ear flicked when she heard the gentle sound of crinkling plastic…

...thin plastic that often came with the wrappings of a bouquet of flowers.

She shot him a wide-eyed, disbelieving look, and Fred stared back with a high-lipped smug face.

“Did… did you fuckin’ get me something?”

Fred didn’t answer, but kept that same, infuriating face which told Stella everything she needed to possibly know.

“You actually fuckin’ did. And you bought me, flowers, didn’t ye?” Stella nearly demanded.

Same response from Fred.

The thestral chuckled, and then giggled… and then legitimately laughed out loud, placing her right hand on Fred’s shoulder for support.

His look never wavered in the slightest.

She recomposed herself and locked her eyes with his, donning a much softer, warmer expression.

“Heh, the sentiment is appreciated but seriously mate, you didn’t have to get me anything fer tonight. And I hate to say it, but I’m not really a whole ‘flowers’ kinda ma—”

Fredrick dutifully kept his expression fixed, but with some sleight of hand that neither of them knew he was capable of, he revealed his present to her: a massive bouquet wrapping, but instead of flowers holstered inside, there was an equally gargantuan, familiar bottle of alcohol resting on tissue paper at its center.

Stella’s eyes went comically wide and her jaw dropped immediately. Her final word from her sentence droned on as her mind became muddled at an instant.

“—aaaaaare…”

Stella, dumbstruck and on the verge of salivating at the mere sight of the label, flicked her eyes between the bottle and Fredrick.

The human presented it forward, and having gotten the reaction from Stella that he was hoping for, his expression morphed into a much warmer one… one much more fitting for a beautiful mare.

“Just a little something for you.”

Then, the unsuspecting human witnessed something that he had never once seen in the entire tenure of their friendship.

She blushed. And Fredrick had to cough into his hand to mask laughter when Stella tried to cover it up.

She glanced everywhere but at him, and her cute gratitude turned into light protest:

“Umm… Yeah, uh. Thanks love. You eh, heh you really didn't have to. I mean, haha whod’ve thought you'd bring me my favorite fuckin’ alcohol in the world you bastard this shit’s expensive!”

Fred rolled his eyes, huffing out with a gentle snicker.

“Oh don’t change the goddamn subject. That doesn’t matter in the slightest. It’s for you,” Fred insisted, handing Stella the ‘bouquet bottle’ completely.

The mare took the giant alcohol container and held it close to her chest for a moment… then locked eyes with her best friend.

“This… erm,” she began, scratching the back of her neck awkwardly. “This is one of the nicest fuckin’ things anyone’s ever fuckin’ gotten for me.”

The two shared a small ‘moment’ before Stella set the bottle down on the inside of the door and closed it behind her.

“Tell me, love. You fuck on the first date?”

“Wait… what?”

“Nothing, nothing. Just talking to myself,” Stella covered her previous words, finally throwing her arms around the human and planting a peck on his cheek.

The odd duo pressed their cheeks together and just held each other for a small while. Little moments like these were cherished by both of them equally as much; a sense of ‘calm before and after the banter,’ as it were. With Stella’s arms wrapped around Fred’s back and his around her waist, the two relished in the unspoken comfort that the other brought them, and though moments like these were commonplace, this time was different. This time there was some extra emotion and feeling packaged with the general shipment of friendship.

“Alright,” Stella said, breaking off and gesturing towards the exit.

“Let’s go.”

“Got somewhere in mind?” Fred asked, quickly falling into step with her on her left.

Much to his surprise, Stella slinked right up next to him and, ever so nonchalantly, linked her left hand with his right. Now it was his turn to blush, though thankfully the batpony mare wasn’t paying much attention.

“Oh you fuckin’ know it! Come on!”

“WHOA!”

Fredrick was promptly yanked out of the barrack’s entrance by an exuberant Stella, dragging him off into the early evening.

“So, lemme get this straight,” Fred began with an incredulous tone over the hustle and bustle of the restaurant.

The two sat side by side at the expansive bar in the center.

“You hype up the night, our first date, mind you… and it’s quite literally the same place that we went to last time. You wanted to come back here? Really??”

Indeed, it was the exact same restaurant. Nothing had changed much in the span of about two weeks, and that was to be expected. Their circular bar sat right at the center of the establishment, while booths lined the perimeter. The rest of the floor was used for dancing to the surprisingly not-annoying music, along with the dim ambient lighting. One advantage of the latter was that Stella’s eyes were magnificently brought out by the darkness.

Stella set her drink down after downing half of it in one gulp, and she replied simply and with an accompanying nod.

“Aye.”

Fred pondered this for a few moments, facing forward and taking a couple of sips from his glass all the while.

“Fair enough I guess.”

Stella fluttered her eyelashes back at him and scooted her chair closer so their arms could brush up against one another. The silence was comfortable, though both parties could sense a slight awkwardness in the air. Neither were here for just a friendly dinner, after all.

“So… ummm,” Fred spoke up again, drawing Stella’s attention. “Lovely weather we’re having.”

Stella had to stifle her laughter right on the spot.

“PFFT fuck you,” she riposted.

Fredrick joined in on the mutual snickering as well, but ran his hand over her forearm before continuing.

“Nah I’m just fucking with you… but we’re on our, well, first date I guess. What’s interesting is that the purpose of these is to usually get to know one another. But I think we know each other pretty well,” Fred voiced.

Stella tilted her head to him, a lone eyebrow raised.

“I let you know what I want you to know about me. Mate.”

Fredrick returned the facial expression, nodding yet quite visibly unconvinced.

“Right. Considering you never shut up when we’re together, talking about anything that runs through that mind of yours. I’d say I’ve got a pretty good working knowledge about you.”

Stella slowly shook her head, that same confident look never abating.

“Heh, right. Whatever helps you wank off at night,” she added.

“Besides, I have something much better in mind for tonight,” she declared.

She brought the rim of her glass to her mouth and shotgunned the rest of her drink but suddenly went wide-eyed. Her attempts to look ‘in control’ died spectacularly when she launched into a coughing fit, the remnants of her drink having gone down the wrong pipe in her carefree act.

Of course, Fredrick would be a terrible friend if he didn’t find the ordeal hysterical... and so he began laughing at her expense. Stella, in response while still in the midst of hacking up her lungs, returned the middle finger to him. This gesture was not native to Equestria, but it was one of the first things that Fred had taught her in their little ‘cultural exchange.’

Cheekily alluding back to the implicit question, he asked:

“So. You were saying?”

Stella took a few deep breaths.

“I’m okay… I’m okay.

“And, as I was saying, we know enough about each other. Fuck small talk. Let’s go dance!”

Fredrick stared at her, blinking, whilst Stella had already dismounted her stool and dramatically offered her hand.

“Wait… Really? Since when can you dance??”

Stella cocked her head, sighing out before delivering her response, her voice gradually raising a few octaves:

“Since the last seven fuckin’ times I've told you that me parents forced me through dance classes fer eleven years and didn't I tell you tae clean out the fuckin’ cum from yer ears?” she asked.

The memories of her telling him those details came back to him, but Fredrick was still a bit uneasy. Dancing was not really high on his ‘particular set of skills’ list.

Still, what was a little spontaneity in his life? That's one of the reasons he wanted to date Stella so badly, right?

Fredrick returned a half-smirk, getting off his stool and grasping Stella’s hand. Responding with some friendly snark, he said:

“Guess I don't have much choice, huh?”

Stella blinked, then smiled warmly as she closed the distance between the two of them. Looking up at Fredrick, she ran her fingers tenderly through his hair.

“My dear Fredrick, you always have a choice. You get to choose how ye say ‘yes.’ Say it in a different language, an accent. Go crazy with it,” she said, lidding her eyes and flashing her teeth.

Fredrick pressed his tongue into his cheek, chuckling at his arms being tied, though it wasn’t really a burden on him. Of course he’d dance with this mare if she asked… or implicitly ordered him to.

He finally grasped her hand.

“So, you’re saying I can dance if I want to. But you’re not gonna leave me behind.”

Stella rolled her eyes, leading him away from the bar.

“Aye, but if I let you choose, you’ll say ye don’t dance. And if ye don’t dance, you’re no fuckin’ coltfriend of mine, mate.”

“Alright~... but just as a forewarning, I actually can’t dance worth a goddamn,” Fred pointed out.

Stella continued dragging Fred into some free space on the dance floor, undeterred.

“You can learn by doing. Just follow me lead and don’t step on me fuckin’ hooves, ya feet-havin’ cunt.”

Fredrick sighed exaggeratedly once they found a suitable spot, surrounded by other fun-loving ponies.

“Ehhh, yeah~ I get that alot.”

Stella released his hand and kept those bright eyes of hers trained squarely on Fredrick, the latter who beared witness to the mare getting right down to it once the new song started up.

He was already engrossed by her opening movements. Stella placed all emphasis of her fluid, experienced dancing in slow, dynamic moves through her legs, arms, and hips. While Fred tried to get his two left feet going to the admittedly catchy beat, he was having a hell of a time with this gorgeous creature in front of him opting for more sensual, sexy technique just for him.

He and Stella both knew that.

And Fredrick was taken completely when Stella ended her little set with running a single hand up her leg, over her butt, and over her chest, ending at her chin.

Just for him.

Fuck. Me.

The worst part was: she probably wasn’t even trying. Stella always had a subtle gracefulness about her. He had seen her perform in sparring matches and hand-to-hand combat and noted how in-control she was at all times. Perhaps dancing from a young age as a forced hobby helped hone this skill of hers… and the more Fred lent credence to this, the more it seemed to make sense.

She sashayed to the beat closer to him, leaving barely two inches between the two of them.

“You alright, mate? Lookin’ a bit red over here,” she so cheekily noted, continuing to sway to the rhythm.

“W-Well yeah. Look at you. Show-off.”

“Not even!” Stella replied running her fingers from face to hips.

“So! You’re a soldier, you can dance, and I know you enjoy karaoke though I’ve never heard you sing… I’m sure you can. What else can you do that you haven’t fuggin’ told me??” Fred wondered.

The two took each other’s hands for a few moments, circling one another before separating again.

“I told you, mate! You know only what I let you know,” she said, winking. “I’m a mare o’ many talents!”

That smug smile of hers never seemed to dissipate; perhaps this was Fred’s punishment for similar treatment when he gifted her her favorite alcohol. Regardless, he certainly wasn’t complaining.

Stella had some words of encouragement for him, and she leaned her mouth close to his ear.

“Just get the figurative buttplug outta yer arse and find a rhythm. Don’t have to look professional so long as yer havin’ fun! Now actually dance with me, twatboy!”

Apparently that’s all it took. Shrugging, Fred decided to, as Stella suggested, have fun with it. He poorly copied moves and technique that he had seen in the past, as well as things meant to invoke laughter… which they did from the mare. It was an odd sight to see for any who might’ve been watching at the moment.

Nopony was.

Fredrick had absolutely no technique to his name, while Stella was as fluid and graceful as ever; a true natural and a seductress at that. He had already dwelled upon it previously, but the way her body moved in that fitted tank top and those shorts…

Just… MMPH!

As the songs went by, and little breaks came and went, the two managed to work up a tiny sweat from not only the physical exertion, but the blush that accumulated in both of their cheeks as well as the overall stuffy environment, since more ponies had filtered in.

Not that they cared.

“You’re right!” Stella shouted out in the middle of the third song, drawing herself in close again.

“Hmm?” Fred asked, in the midst of a terrible interpretation of the robot.

“You can’t fuckin’ dance!”

Fred broke out into brief guffaw, throwing his head back.

“Told you! But you’re also right… I’m having a lot of fun here with you!”

Stella performed a cute little twirl with the aid of her tail for some extra flair, then quickly stole a peck on Fred’s cheeks.

“Likewise!” she said in return, trotting tantalizingly away to the drum beat, just out of Fred’s reach.

This did not help the fact that Fred had to call upon enormous control to keep his boner at a reasonable level. Seeing a mare whom he was close with emotionally, and one who harbored all the physical traits he adored dancing so sultrily was not an easy feat to overcome in this regard.

“You’re being a real tease right now, you know!” Fred noted.

Stella fluttered her lashes, again twirling into Fredrick and planting her ass right onto his crotch, which forced his breath to catch in his throat. The batpony angled her face properly so that she could glance up at him, her lips grazing the front of his cheeks with one hand on the nape of his neck.

“Am I?” she asked oh-so innocently, adding a pointed wiggle to her backside.

Fred’s hands fell naturally to the front of her hips and held her there, though that confidence was merely a reflection of reflex, rather than him taking extreme initiative. He was doing all he could to make sure he did not sperg out at the moment. Again, it wasn’t that he had not been with women in the past in an intimate manner, but goddamn none of them were as overt or forward as Stella was… not by a long shot.

An incredible blessing, and often a hilarious curse all the same.

“Y-You’re not helping your case here,” Fred replied.

He masked his little word-slip and stutter quite well, but of course, Stella always had to have the last word.

She angled her head back and made a little chomping motion right next to his ear.

“Be a good human and keep having fun with me tonight, an’ I’ll show ya real teasing.”

She pressed her butt much more firmly into him, and made sure that she could feel what lay underneath those trousers right where she wanted it. That’s when she pushed off of him and returned to her initial position just in front of him.

As for Fred, he was about to add some witty reply to that when he witnessed Stella accidentally bump into a mauve-coated pegasus mare who was dancing behind her.

“Whoa! Whoops! Sorry ‘bout that, mate!” Stella apologized over her shoulder.

“S’all good, girl!” the mare replied with a smile.

It should’ve ended there. But both Fred and Stella heard her add a few more words:

“Just watch where you’re dancing, next time!”

Fred pursed his lips and looked away the moment those words left the unfortunate mare’s mouth.

Oh hell…

Stella turned a confused face back toward the mare, and delivered her counter in an ever nonrelenting string of profanity quintessential of the thestral:

“I said I was sorry. My bad. Don’t get yer panties in a fuckin’ tussle over it, aye? Now shut your fuckin’ gob an' fuck off before I staple yer tits to the fuckin’ counter with yer own fuckin’ teeth you cunt!”

The mare’s face went absolutely blank at those words, and quickly turned around back towards her onlooking group.

Mercy… What a woman!

About-facing in a way Stella always knew how, her bright, giddy smile instantly bounded back from an expression that threatened hellfire.

“Now…” she began, gripping the human’s hands and pressing herself flush against him. Their mouths were an inch apart and the two could practically feel the heat radiating off of each other.

“Where were we?”

Thankfully, no more incidents happened that evening, which allowed Fredrick and Stella to dance the night away with one another… or, at least a fair portion of the night. An early start meant that the two of them were done by half-past one in the morning. Any drinks that either of them had seemed to have no effect on one another, but that was not an issue at all.

They kept each other warm on the small journey home.

The giddy—dare they both say, stricken—couple, glided back through the main castle entrance with nary a single care to their collective names.

Engulfed in rapturous laughter from a story from Earth that Fred had concluded, he and Stella leaned into each other with a vague sense of coherence and understanding of the world around them. To say that the night had gone well would be a gross miscarriage of the Equestrian language… and to both the human and the thestral’s great surprise, they felt even closer than they originally were!

And all things considered, that was pretty close.

Stella still dutifully cuddled Fred’s right hand in her left, their shoulders supporting one another as they strode mindlessly towards their destination.

A textbook case of ‘high on life.’

“So yeah. That was the second time I almost got killed because of my dipshit best friend,” Fred recalled the conclusion to his ‘stunning story,’ much to Stella’s contagious amusement.

Which, by that token, did not help her giggling fit at all. The mare snickered heartily to the heavens with a shamelessly open mouth, allowing Fredrick to guide her uncharacteristically sober body back towards her barracks. She had always found Fred funny; their senses of humor meshed quite well, after all, which aided in no small part to their titanium-grade bond.

But tonight, he seemed extra funny. She had a small idea as to why that was.

She wiped under her eyes.

“Hehe, never knew you of all ponies were such a risk taker! Did yer appetite fer adventure as well as yer ballsack evaporate on the trip over?”

Fred huffed, leaning in a bit more and fielding his sarcasm with a smirk that just wouldn’t quit on account of the night’s events:

“That joke gets funnier when you repeat it three times a day, you know.”

“Mhmm!” Stella nodded cutely. “Didn’t I tell you not tae question my methods of endearment, you fuck?”

“Right. I totally forgot about that,” Fred added, sarcasm dripping from his mouth.

This allowed for an easy change of subject.

“Had an awesome time tonight, by the way. Hope you did too…” he voiced.

His company nuzzled her cheek into his, wrapping her arms around his midsection with what sounded strikingly like a coo.

“Oh believe me,” Stella replied. “I had a wonderful evening with you.”

Fred was not able to come back to that, though. Stella, right then, stood ramrod.

“Oh!” Stella chimed in. “That reminds me, come here, I need to show you something,” she said, dragging him by the hand yet again to wherever they were going. They deviated from the path to the Lunar Barracks slightly, and oddly enough, the batpony led the two of them to an abandoned capillary archway.

By nature, there was absolutely nothing… and the time of night ensured that nopony was around at all.

“Umm, so what’s over here?” Fred asked, turning to his mare.

The latter, however, only donned a much sultrier gaze, those golden eyes being veiled by her eyelids as well as those perfect bangs of hers. Her bright smile disappeared behind her lips of that lascivious grin, and she advanced upon him.

Sexy? Oh hell yes.

Somehow terrifying? One can imagine.

“Uhhh, Stella?”

No answer from her. Instead, she spoke with actions, placing her hands on his shoulders and pressing him into the stony wall with that same lustful look. Further adding to it, she pressed herself up against him, making sure her chest was nicely wedged into his, whilst never breaking eye contact up at him.

She bit her lower lip with that little tooth of hers, and Fredrick was made aware of their mouths being less than an inch apart. Their hot breathing broke upon each other’s faces like steam in a shower, raising their internal temperatures into the heavens.

Fred’s hands fell onto her lower back.

Both knew what was happening at the moment… what they both wanted, courtesy of Stella’s foray into the field of initial intimacy. Hell, even so, Fred had been simultaneously craving yet dreading this moment. First kisses were still a sort of ‘first impression,’ as it were. And from this gut feeling he was getting, and that subtle message of ‘lust’ being conveyed through those large, golden orbs of hers, this was no trick. This was no prank, and this was no tease.

This was the real thing, one which he didn’t want to screw up.

And in following Luna’s advice, as well as the advice he gave to himself which worked with other (few) women in his life, it was the perfect time to take initiative.

Alright, you’ve done this many times before.

This is Stella… you’ve been wanting this for a good while now.

Do it. Kiss her. Just fucking do it.

JUST.

DO IT.

Fredrick cupped Stella’s cheeks in his hands and pulled her face to his, pressing his lips to hers firmly, yet delicately. That warmness that both of them had felt the entire evening was, at an instant, multiplied by unquantifiable factors.

Stella’s eyes went from wide to shut in mere milliseconds as she took over, deepening the kiss that Fredrick had been so brave to initiate first. The human switched their positioning, pressing Stella up against the wall whilst their lips did all the glorious work. They did not separate their craving mouths after the first fifteen seconds… instead, they merely opened them to inhale the air they both so desperately needed, affording them less distance to smash their lips together anew. Blushes returned full force, and upon recharging their lung reserves for the fourth time in about a minute and a half, they were back at it, this time with a much more aggressive thestral.

Months of straight-up denial and teasing were brought to the forefront. From every smack of their gentle separations, to their coos of delight and gentle moans of pleasure from whenever they would reconnect to each other’s warmth… the fledgeling couple was every-bit as consummated in their friendship and new relationship as they had hoped to be.

Fredrick’s hands roamed back down to her lower back and evoked a little shiver from the mare. In response, Stella raised her right knee and wrapped her leg around the human’s waist, keeping him right where he was. By the same function, her arms were wrapped right around his neck, with her fingers pressing into his nape, and alternating with playing with his hair.

Stella wished to press her tongue forward and taste him completely. Hell, she had to resist the urge to shove herself down his throat the moment he made first contact. That could come later though.

This was more than satisfying at the moment, especially when Fredrick’s hands dipped lower onto her butt, giving her cheeks a firm squeeze.

That forced her to separate immediately for air.

“Hah! Heh…” Stella chuckled, and Fred was in similar straits.

Their cheeks were flushed furiously, eyes lidded and maintaining perfect contact with their counterparts. Stella’s bangs continued to give her that almost primal look, carnal pleasure building up within her and appearing to demand release through those bright, golden eyes of hers.

“Looks like you grew a fuckin’ pair, eh?” she fielded the rhetorical question, licking her lips and running her tongue emphatically over her top fangs.

“Heh… Was tired of you taking all the glory,” Fredrick responded, pressing his nose into hers, a gesture both of them appreciated in the moment.

“So,” Stella began anew, lowering her leg yet retaining a single arm’s hold on Fred. “Wanna come back tae my room?”

Fredrick gulped, but still loosed a post-kiss-fueled laugh.

“You’re not tired yet???”

Stella cocked that silly eyebrow of hers, flashing him a knowing smile.

“Whaddya think this is? Some children’s movie where we kiss and fuck off on our separate ways? Fuck that. The night’s still young. Again, wanna come back to my room, have something to drink, and make out some more?” she proposed a counter offer.

Fredrick couldn’t and wouldn’t argue with that option, and his eyes seemed to gleam at her words.

“Well, hot diggity hell yes!”

HE DID IT. HE FUKKIN' DID IT.

THE ABSOLUTE MADMAN.