It never ceased to amaze Fredrick how both Celestia and Luna dropped all pretense of manners and ‘royal’ façade when they weren’t in the public eye.

Hell, even though Fredrick had known them for over two years by this point, he still had a hard time divesting the royal image from the pony. Granted, they were still demi-goddesses… but he was always reminded that they were still ponies. This was usually reinforced by how they dressed out of the public eye, much like tonight.

It was a quiet dinner with his two closest friends—the Royal Sisters—this evening, and he felt overdressed, which was unheard of for him in a daily setting. While, in his opinion, a Friday evening called for short sleeves and some jeans, the immortal Princesses of this great nation felt otherwise.

All tucked away in Luna’s room, both alicorns had nearly undressed fully before him after a hard week’s work. Both of them had stripped down to their panties, threw on a thick, baggy long-sleeve, and discarded bras before dinner was served on the bed.

Immortal or not, he guessed mares were still mares, after all.

Hell, he had seen them both naked by this point and this still found a way to amuse him.

Celestia stuffed her mouth with a wad of greens, and then found it appropriate to gesture towards Fredrick and speak while chewing:

“So… mmm… Not that we aren’t glad to spend time with you, but you’re usually with Stella on Friday night. Everything okay?” she inquired.

Fredrick chuckled internally at Celestia’s complete flouting of ‘table’ manners. But he didn’t have time to put forth an answer before Luna cut in:

“She’s away on leave starting today,” she answered, and tilted her fork toward her sister as she continued:

“Her family wished to celebrate her promotion to Captain of the Lunar Guard, so she ventured back to the Northern Rage.”

Celestia cocked a curious eyebrow at Fredrick, which he returned back at her full force.

“Oh? And she didn’t want to take you? I find that almost too hard to believe,” she said.

Fredrick smirked and shook his head all the while.

“Oh no, she definitely wanted me to come with her. Hell, she was bringing out the threats, but I urged her to spend some alone time with her family.”

Having had his fill of their dinner for the evening, he set the plates carefully to the side and leaned back onto his forearms to get extra comfortable.

“Occasionally have to remind her that I don’t need to be apart of everything in her life, and that she’s free to do whatever the shit she wants without me always being there. Besides, it’ll do her good to get away from me for a smidge, methinks.”

Luna—to his left—laughed heartily before throwing some usual sarcasm his way.

“Well… aren’t you such the perfect gentlecolt and expert in well-oiled relations,” she said. Celestia giggled.

Fredrick smirked, and drew his open hand from one princess to the other.

“Well, I do have two amazing friends who keep me grounded and call me out on my bullshit when I need it most,” he reminded.

Celestia winked and leveled an index finger at him.

“Right you are, Freddie. But I truly am happy everything is going so well for the two of you after all this time!”

“Heh, you’re telling me!” Fred replied. “And the best part is: I don’t feel like anything’s gone stale or ‘routine-y,’ if that makes sense?”

Luna nodded once, a wide, prideful smirk on her face.

“I understand completely. And I, likewise, am most pleased to see one of my Guard’s finest with somepony who truly helps bring out the best in her,” she said.

Celestia had one more thing to add with a knowing wink:

“Only the most becoming behavior of our newest up and coming Junior Shadow Minister of Economic Development!”

Fredrick could already feel his cheeks coloring at the praise, and it seemed that he wasn’t the only one who noticed. Celestia started giggling in earnest when he tried to save some face.

“Jeez gals… getting me all red in the face with y’all’s praise. Thank you though… really. I’ve said it before but it’s always nice being reassured from a third party, heh,” he said, and ran a hand over the back of his head and neck.

“And for… well, the promotion of sorts. Not gonna lie, it’s kinda cool to get back into my field from back on Earth. Can’t thank you enough for the opportunity!”

“You deserve it!” Luna called out.

Celestia shrugged.

“It’s true, though! You do deserve every bit of it.

“And in regards to Stella, you two really are perfect for each other. As eccentric as the two of you are together, I feel you two are quite… pure.”

“PFFT!” Fredrick nearly lost it. “Stella’s the last mare from pure, I’ll tell you that right now,” he chuckled.

“Oh shut the hell up, you know exactly what I meant,” Celestia joked right back.

“I sure do. Hell the way I see it… she still makes my heart flutter, my stomach light, and my dick hard. So I think everything’s pretty damn good…”

Fredrick was night-completely interrupted when both mares erupted in a cackling fit at his latter words.

“See?!” Luna cut in once she (barely) composed herself.

“That’s exactly something that Stella would say, tailored to her own pony, of course. You two have absorbed some of the best parts of each other’s personality… for better or worse.”

Fredrick chuckled exaggeratedly.

“‘For better or worse.’ Again, that seems to be the running theme of our unholy union. Wouldn’t change it for the friggin’ world, lemme tell ya,” he said.

Luna stuffed her face with some spinach and pointed her fork at him, mimicking her sister in a lack of ‘table’ manners.

“You better not, Fredrick!” she decreed. “Because the wedding needs to be even more glorious. I can’t wait! We can hold it here at the castle!”

Fredrick scraped the ceiling with how hard and high he rolled his eyes whilst looking at Luna again. His façade was broken when she giggled at the face he knew he was making.

“Yes… you two,” he said, and addressed both his friends who hadn’t stopped ribbing him since they got word of some ‘stuff’ that was said on the eve of Stella’s birthday.

“We’ve talked at length about this…”

Celestia cut in with a less-than-dignified chortle.

“PFFT. ‘Length.’”

“Wow… verily, sister?”

“You’re so mature, Celly.”

“No you.”

Fredrick ran both his hands down his face, much to the audible, throaty amusement of Celestia. Looks like Stella wasn’t the only one that was absorbing parts of his personality.

“Right… well as I was saying, Stella and I have talked about this a lot. While we joke about it to no end, it’s most likely gonna happen. Probably just not anytime soon.”

That’s when a question from his immediate right pecker-slapped him in the back of the head:

“Why not?” Luna asked.

Even more than that, she seemed completely serious. Fredrick felt the answer was pretty obvious, and he delivered it with a single shrug of his shoulder.

“Well… I don’t think we’re ready for that step, yet.”

Celestia broadsided him with another bout of infernal wisdom:

“Will you two ever be? I think it’s almost like becoming a parent… you can put it off until you’re ‘ready,’ but I don’t think any of us ever truly will be, no? And even then would you know when you are?”

Fredrick let those words marinate a bit in his mind, and get pan seared just a smidge in what he would consider some decent food for thought. The more brain power he committed though, the more he realized that these thousands of years-old demigoddesses were pretty spot on with that assessment.

Luna cut in with a rather haughty, jokingly protective tone:

“Heh, Stella’s really the only pony I’d let tie the knot with Fredrick. She’s the only mare I feel is good enough for him, in my objective opinion.”

Fredrick regarded her with an exaggeratedly tilted head and pure, amused sarcasm dripping from his mouth:

“Gee thanks, Lu. I’m so glad I have your blessing.”

She scoffed.

“Do not give me that tone, colt! Back in my day, we had to bless all betrothals. In fact…”

She brought a finger to her cheek, and flicked her eyes up questioningly.

“…I believe that law is still on the books! We just do not enforce it anymore and it was forgotten over time.”

Fredrick saw Celestia’s eyes light up in familiarity.

“That’s riiiiight!” she said, perhaps a little too giddily for Fredrick’s liking.

He blinked, then asked emotionlessly:

“So… you’re invoking a millennia’s-old law that requires you to… bless a hypothetical marriage between Stella and I?”

They both nodded once, and simultaneously.

“That is correct! Therefore, by all the power vested in myself and our glorious Moon, I bless your marriage!” Luna affirmed.

“Yup! And by my command over our everlasting Sun, consider your marriage blessed, Freddie,” Celestia added.

Fredrick shrugged.

“Umm… okay then? Not sure what that changes but… thank you?”

Luna cheekily pointed at him, as if balancing a caveat at the tip of her finger.

“You’re lucky we don’t enforce the statute of taking the betrothed’s maidenhead,” she said.

Fredrick nearly lost it at that.

“PFFFT! Fucking… WHAT?!” he exclaimed. “What, you’re saying you’d fuck Stella on the wedding night instead of me?”

“Who said anything about Stella?” Celestia asked suddenly.

Luna threw her entire body back and into her bed, laughing shrilly. As for Fredrick, he pursed his lips and nodded, having been had.

“Not bad, Celly. Not bad… but don’t threaten me with a good time, girl…”

Celestia chortled into her hand, and Luna took her place rather pointedly:

“And who said she would be enforcing the statute?” she asked.

Fredrick was having as much trouble keeping a straight face as she was.

“Honestly, if you made serious moves on me, Stella would probably, actually kill me if I refused you…

…but maybe in another universe…?”

Celestia careened back in with what clearly seemed like a fantastic idea while Luna giggled her heart out:

“OH! Who wants dessert?! Let’s get dessert! I want cake!”

He smiled widely at the thought, among other things. A good-natured ribbing from your closest friends was par for the course and still made him feel like he mattered. More than that, the warmness that coddled his chest like a freshly-washed velvet blanket of good feelings further proved to him that he had carved a place in this world.

He could only hope Stella was having as much fun as he was, with her family right now.

“Oi cunts!” Stella announced as she gently let herself into the front door of her childhood home.

“I’m home!”

Sveta’s head popped out from the kitchen doorway—a bright, fangy smile was plastered on her face.

“Oi Stel’! Right on fuckin’ time, lass!” she replied, and stepped out fully into the living room.

She pointed out towards the ‘outside’ in general.

“I don’t have tae fuckin’ drink alone now. Wanna head out fer a few rounds an’ help waterboard me fuckin’ stresses away now that finals are done? I’m buyin’!”

Having known her sister quite literally her entire life, Stella knew for a fact that the underlying tone of Sveta’s request was nonnegotiable. And she knew herself well enough where she’d never say no to free alcohol… but she couldn’t go anywhere without the ritualistic shitting on her sister.

Stella cocked her hip to the right and crossed her arms under her chest. She raised an eyebrow.

“Yer buyin’? With what fuckin’ money, mate?”

Sveta’s bright and shining face instantly furrowed.

“Fuckin’… bitch I have cash! Did ya forget I’m a talented musician? Piss off, slag— Don’t look a fuckin’ gift whore in the minge.”

Stella was not exactly impressed.

“‘Talented musician’… filly, that’s fuckin’ debatable. And you and I both know sixty percent of yer audience is only there tae watch yer tits bounce on stage when ye—as you say—get lost in the rhythm.”

Sveta held her palms out towards her.

“Okay look I’d put that at most forty percent, at least give me voice and the girls some fuckin’ credit!”

Stella gestured directly towards Sveta’s boobs, smirking devilishly.

“I am givin’ yer girls a fuckload of credit, what the hell did ya think I was saying? Give ‘em a push-up bra and I’ll give ‘em more credit!”

“UGH. I meant the fuckin’ band, ya goddamn weapon.”

Stella got the topic back on track, though. Whetting her whistle seemed like a fine way to break in her leave:

“But aye, sounds good, lass! By the way, where’re mum and dad?”

“I’m here.”

Stella shrieked, having felt her entire body fall into fight-or-flight response at just realizing that Vampir was in the room with them. He was sitting on the couch casually reading a local newspaper with a bottle of beer on the coffee table.

“Fer FUCK’S sake, dad... I still don’t fuckin’ know how ye can sneak up on me like that!”

Vampir lowed his newspaper, and it seemed to be his turn to look unimpressed.

“I was in Special Forces, Stella. I could be lurkin’ around you all the time while you’re back at the castle... or gettin’ railed by Fredrick. None of ye would know.”

Stella felt her entire body cringe at the thought while Sveta gladly laughed at her expense. What made it worse for her was that—even though Vampir was being completely hyperbolic—it was entirely plausible, with his skill in his trade.

“Thanks fer searin’ the image into my head, dad. Fuck’s sake...”

Vampir chuckled, then looked up at her.

“Where is he, anyway? Figured you’d’ve tried tae smuggle him over here.”

The slightest pang of longing echoed in her core, but left as quickly as it came when she brought forth the explanation… and still managed a fair amount of pride:

“Oh believe me, I tried. But he also just got promoted, so he’s in the middle of some training and stuff that he can’t miss,” she said, smiling.

“That… and he said that I’m ‘totally okay to have a life outside of him,’… like he’s tryin’ tae be a good coltfriend or something.”

Sveta seemed to ‘wholeheartedly agree.’

“Oh aye, how fuckin’ dare he… letting you live yer fuckin’ life or some shit?”

Stella smiled… but she cocked a curious eyebrow when she realized that somepony hadn’t come out to greet her by this point. Nor bludgeoned her on the back of the head for not doing something she asked:

“Oi… is mum home?”

Not looking up from his newspaper, Vampir responded:

“Nope. She’s…”

Stella noticed the extra half-second pause from him… one that didn’t exactly sit well with her intuition.

“…away on business fer tonight an’ tomorrow. She’ll be back tomorrow night.”

She flicked her eyes up to Sveta, and—through a sisterly communication network they had set up since toddlers—her less-than-knowing expression didn’t reveal much. She seemed in just as much of the dark.

In the end though, it could’ve been one-hundred-percent the truth. Vona still worked as a weapons’ designer and forger. Contracts requiring travel were fairly common. Hell, that’s how she met Vampir, after all.

Still, it didn’t shake the slightest twinge in the back of her head that somepony was punking her… somehow. Whatever the case, it wasn’t like she could really do anything at this point, apart from enjoy the next week with her family.

Stella shrugged.

“Fair ‘nuff,” she said, then gestured out the door while glancing over at Sveta.

“Ready tae go, lass?”

Sveta beamed right back at her.

“Aye! We ride!”

“Ya want anythin’, dad?”

“I’m good with me beer, thanks! You have fun, loves!”

“That…” Fredrick spoke to himself as he swung open the door into his room “…was just what the doctor ordered.”

Mentally and physically fatigued after a long week of rewarding work, on top of being pleasantly full from a fantastically-cooked meal was a perfect recipe to just crash. Hell, he didn’t even feel like taking off all his clothes once he shut the door behind him.

And it was one of the few times he listened one-hundred percent to his body. He undid his belt and tossed it haphazardly to the side before bounding—sprawled—onto his giant bed. Face-down in one of his pillows, he let out all the breath he had been holding since the beginning of the week in one long, controlled sigh of relief.

He made it through the first week of his new esteem… with only a little wear to show for it.

Fredrick was proud of himself—one of the few times he could ever say that with full confidence. And he figured he could ruminate on everything that had happened this past week in the morning… for it was time to join Luna’s dreamscape once more.

He let his eyes fall shut, and his body just exist while being embraced by his mattress. The cool night air wafted in from the outside, and served to chill his already excitably warm body. There would not be a need for covers tonight… that he was sure of.

Right on the cusp of letting sleep overtake him completely, Fredrick stirred lightly—he could have sworn he heard something at the front door. It was like, the faintest scratching at the wood, reminiscent of a pet wanting to come back into the abode.

Fred tiredly devoted some brain power to listening out—just to be sure. He didn’t move from his spot all the while… and whatever he supposedly heard at his front door was just as fleeting as it was in his mind. Perhaps his pre-sleep mind was starting his dreams a little too early. He had to question reality once or twice when he was on the cusp of passing out.

He shrugged and put the rest of the world out of his mind, and a smile creased over his face when an image of Stella’s smile passed on by.

The scratching was back.

Fredrick opened his eyes, instinctively raising his right eyebrow towards the door. He knew for a fact he didn’t imagine this instance… and the more he listened to it as it repeated itself, the more it sounded like someone—or something—trying to fumble with the locked doorknob.

“What the fuck…?” he groaned.

He sat himself upright and eyed his door, annoyed. A rush of different ideas as to who he would find upon opening up said door entered into his mind. A robber was out of the question, as they’d probably be dead the moment the batpony Lunar Guard caught any wind of something wrong in Fredrick’s general direction. Luna and Celestia—while known for their jokes—would usually violate his privacy anyway, or actually knock like a normal pony.

And Stella—the likeliest of culprits to screw with him—was away on leave. He walked her to the damn train station, himself.

The desire to know more intensifies.

Groaning once again, Fred hoisted himself of his bed and onto the ground. He stretched his arms over his head unceremoniously, then trudged over to his bedroom door.

Being as tired as he was meant there was a special condition regarding his normal ‘bucket of fucks to give.’ Having been ripped from the glorious flux that existed between the aching world and the twilight, he was scraping the bottom of the barrel in terms of quality fucks to produce.

So, he just pulled back the right side of the double door and found…

…no one.

Fredrick—stoic—blinked once. Then blinked again as he stared at where the culprit would’ve been in front of his door… but finding nopony but the wind and echoes.

He even poked his head out and gazed down both sides of the corridor. Nothing of interest could be seen but the darkness, the two guards that stood as idle as death himself on either end, and the occasional footfall of other patrolling guards. And seeing those two Lunar Soldiers there told Fredrick that, had anypony been at his door that shouldn’t have been there—or wasn’t expected, there would be a lot more commotion going on right now.

Did he just imagine everything?

Fredrick hummed, unamused. He narrowed his eyes and slinked back into his room, quietly shutting and locking the door behind him.

His door secured, Fredrick took a deep breath and exhaled tiredly. His right hand flat against the entrance, he pressed his forehead against the cool wood.

“Jesus, man… don’t go losing your mind so soon.”

“Fuck me, ye talk to yerself, too?”

Fredrick’s eyes shot open so fast, he could’ve sworn he heard glass breaking. His heart-rate shot up like a heroine addict. He spun around and spied a smol… yet simultaneously, massively imposing, batpony mare with the backdrop of the night via his open balcony window.

While—quite obviously—surprised, his nerves calmed just the tiniest smidge when he saw who it was.

“Fucking… Schiavona?! What the hell are you doing here?!”

The Sabre matriarch—clad in seemingly standard, black, form-fitting long-sleeve and pants—clearly wasn’t all that impressed by Fredrick’s welcome.

Because why would she be in the slightest?

“Okay, firstly… how dare ye use me full name. Secondly, how dare ye not invite me in…”

She stepped forward, and she sported that cheeky, fangy smile that Stella always did.

“…and thirdly, why the fuck haven’t ye married my fuckin’ daughter yet, Fredrick?”

Fredrick felt the emotion draining out of his face as he stared blankly at Vona.

“Is… is this what this is all about? Really?”

Vona stared back at him—seemingly unfazed in the slightest—with an identically stoic gaze.

“Yes.”

“Y…You’re serious, aren’t you?”

“I just said ‘yes,’ mate! Do ya need tae clean the fuckin’ cum outta yer ears, lad?”

Fredrick was at a loss for words… and apparently—having needed to take away brain power from his awareness to process everything—he let the silence linger a little too long.

“Well are ya gonna invite me in, Fredrick?” Vona asked oh-so politely.

Fredrick gestured open-handedly to her.

“I mean… you’re kinda already here. Fuckin’…”

Fredrick ran both his hands down his face. All he wanted to do was sleep, tonight. He would’ve been much more comfortably burying his head in Stella’s lap or between her boobs to fall asleep, rather than his pillow… but the circumstances decreed that this wasn’t in the cards tonight.

He’d have to relish in the next best thing—literally her mom.

Not like THAT, you pervert.

He sighed and looked back at her.

“Want a drink?”

And that’s how he found himself, having poured two glasses of wine out while sitting on the bed next to the literal older version of Stella. Because of course he would be.

Well, at the very least… wine.

Right?

After taking a couple sips of the red wine he poured, an uneasy silence wafted over him as he watched Schiavona take her own first, tentative sips…

…and then continue to sip…

…and continue to sip…

She downed three-fourths of the glass on the first ‘sip.’ Fredrick wasn’t sure why he was surprised at this accomplishment.

“Ahhh…” Vona sighed out blissfully.

He watched her gingerly swirl what was left in the glass, observing intently the little vortex she created.

“This was pretty good! Never been much of a wine pony… more of a scotch mare, m’self,” she said, smiling.

There was still something that Fredrick was just dying to get closure on, even if it didn’t really fit with the non-existent conversation:

“How did you even get up here in one piece?”

Vona deadpanned.

“Ummm… I fuckin’ flew? The hell do ya think these’re for, mate?” she said, extending her right wing out.

“Shagging? Well… they are but you know what I fuckin’ mean, lad.”

Fredrick rolled his eyes.

“Fucking… duh you used your wings! But how’d you get past the guard hoof and flight patrols?”

Vona smiled evilly.

“Vampir’s taught me a few things over the years…” she alluded cryptically.

Fredrick wordlessly blinked. Did he want to know? Nope. Not in the slightest. So, as he was interested in since the start of this incident, he wanted to to get down to brass tacks of it all.

“Right. So… Vona…” he began anew.

Legs elegantly folded together, the batpony mare threw a hand back through her own ponytail for a quick adjustment, faced Fredrick on his bed, and placed both her hands on her lap while looking up at him eagerly. The amount of sudden ‘propriety’ coming out of the Sabre matriarch was almost infuriating as it was… oddly pretty.

“Aye?” she asked, flashing her pearly whites.

“Why the hell are you here—trying to talk to me about getting hitched to your daughter—instead of enjoying the week with Stella, who is probably up there right now wondering where you are?”

Schiavona put her fingertips together in a most analytical look.

“This was—obviously—by design. You could say I’m here tae… ‘plead the case,’ in a sense.”

“Wait… you want to try and ‘convince’ me to marry Stella. Am I getting that right?”

She nodded once.

“Good lookin’ and smart! Goddamn, how many advantages can Stella fuckin’ have fer a colt?”

“I’m serious, though…” Fredrick pulled the conversation back on track. He swirled the wine idly in his glass before continuing.

“Why would I need convincing to go further with her? I’d like to think it’s pretty obvious where we stand.”

Schiavona was as serious as ever despite the surrounding context and word choice:

“Oh it’s bloody obvious. You two are just takin’ yer sweet, goddamn time… like old ponies fuckin’ after a ten-year cool-streak.”

Fredrick swirled his glass and took another sip.

“I fail to see how this matters, really,” he said. “How would getting hitched change anything in the grand scheme of things?”

Vona shrugged.

“Prolly not much tae fuck-all, mate. I’m well aware ya don’t necessarily need some fuckin’ government paper tae put in writin’ what ye have.”

“Then what do you get out of this? Seems like a bit of a long trip to just tell me something I already know…”

Schiavona smiled evilly as she held up two fingers… in the exact same way Stella would.

“Two reasons. One… both of you wanna tie it so fuckin’ obviously that I’m gettin’ fuckin’ arthritis from clenchin’ me queef chapel in frustration wonderin’ why you two don’t do a goddamn thing about it…

“…and two, I wan’t fuckin’ grandchildren,” she said, then shrugged.

“Ahhh… so that’s the real reason, huh?” Fredrick replied, but then threw forth a rather pertinent piece of information:

“But you are aware that Stella doesn’t like kids, right?”

Schiavona took another sip… but then annihilated the rest of the wine by dropping it down her gullet with all the elegance Fred would expect from Stella.

“She’s fulla shite, lad,” she said with a conviction and nonchalance that impressed him.

“And you’re so sure of this?”

“I would know—I felt the exact same way as her. When Vampir and I had a serious chat about this, we both agreed that we’d live our lives dedicated to each other—our careers, second.”

Fredrick finished off his wine and turned towards her more. Despite everything that happened earlier, he had to admit this conversation and its surrounding context was getting interesting.

“Really? What the hell happened, then?”

Schiavona looked—dare Fredrick say—nostalgia-stricken.

“After we got married—and even a couple years before, actually—things were fuckin’ fantastic.

“Worked the day, spent the evenings and nights together… when he didn’t get deployed, of course. Spent the weekends together. Ate, drank, fucked constantly. Just wonderful.”

She showed few qualms in leaning back into Fredrick’s bed and making herself more than comfortable.

“Then, one day… I dunno. We had another talk and decided that we were stable enough that we wanted tae start tryin’. We couldn’t tell ye exactly what it was, but somethin’ inside of us said that—despite what we thought before—it was… right.”

Schiavona lay back fully onto Fredrick’s bed and let loose some genuine laughter, which was just as contagious as her daughter’s.

Fredrick also got more comfortable and supported his head with the help of his elbow and hand as she continued:

“Welp, turns out that without fuckin’ protection, Vampir had no fuckin’ virility problems in the slightest. I conceived the fuckin’ night my next heat came around—he goddamn fired out a nine month-old Stella.”

Fredrick couldn’t hold his cackling in on that one.

“Niceee… and so Stella was born.”

“That she was,” Vona said, nodding. “She was a right fucker growin’ up, too. She still is, but she was, too. Remember lad—there’s nothin’ illegal about callin’ yer kid a cunt. I encourage it, actually! Builds character.

“But, if I could go back? I’d’nt change anythin’, mate,” she said, looking over at him.

“Vampir may be me greatest prize… but Stella and Sveta will always be my greatest accomplishments.

“Take all that fer what you will… I guess…”

Fredrick breathed—amused—through his nose, and nodded back at her.

Her little tale did make sense to him. Maybe him not liking kids stemmed from seeing how children affected his parents’ relationship. Also, perhaps it stemmed from him personally feeling that he’d be a terrible father for a variety of reasons… that until he resolved those ‘reasons,’ like with the marriage prospect, he’d never be ready.

But, much like the marriage prospect… would he ever be ready? Even so, he wouldn’t go seeking specialized magic from the royal sisters to knock up Stella tomorrow, that’s for sure. But he could say that this was really helping him to talk through it.

In the midst of this, Fredrick did have one question:

“Hey Vona?”

“Hmmm?”

“What was the moment you realized you were gonna be with Vampir for the rest of your life?”

Fred saw that hard blink—she clearly didn’t expect such a simple, but profound question from him right off the bat. But, it didn’t seem to faze her in any bad way, especially when she gazed back up at the ceiling, closed her eyes, and took an almost lovingly deep breath.

“We were dating fer… three years by this point. He was still active in the Special Forces, and he had been spending the past week with me on leave.

“It was pretty common—we’d see each other usually when he’d get leave, and then we’d be apart for a little bit when he had tae return tae Canterlot. Or, one of me contracts would take me to Canterlot, and we’d meet up there fer a while—it’s how we met, after all.

“This time though… I don’t know what came over me. The night before I was gonna walk him to the train station. I just… I completely broke down.”

She giggled, as if she was chastising her younger self.

“I didn’t want him to go. I wanted him to stay with me. Forever. I sobbed like a fuckin’ little girl… like I was gonna lose a fuckin’ limb or a part of me if he left.

“Sorry if I’m bein’ graphic, mate… but that night we had the best sex we had ever had up to that point. And how he just looked at me before and during sealed it fer me. I knew I was gonna marry him.”

Vona glanced over at Fredrick again.

“It’s a look I know well, to this day… because he still looks at me like that. Interestingly, it’s also the look I see in your eyes whenever I catch ye looking at Stella. Same when she looks at you.”

Fredrick saw her reach out to him and place her hand pridefully atop of his. She patted him a couple times.

“And that’s how I know she—and you—made the right choice. I saw it from the day I met you.”

The warmth in Fredrick’s core and chest returned full force at hearing that. His bashful side took over as he smiled.

“Heh… thanks, Vona.”

“Now…” she then followed up allusively right after, and earned Fredrick’s attention. “In regards tae you two sealin’ the deal and you joining the Sabre clan officially…”

Fredrick shuddered internally at that last part, not that he felt it was a bad thing in the slightest. He worried for his physical self as to what it would mean being officially ‘related’ to these mad lads.

“…you’re right. You and Stella should absolutely only make the jump when yer ready,” she declared.

…which was what Fredrick had been hoping to get across this entire time. If that was the case, what the hell was the whole point of his conversation… not that he didn’t enjoy quality time with Schiavona.

He cautiously tread forward with their chat.

“Right…” he said.

“But me part on ‘pleadin’ the case’ boils down tae this: Stella… has a bad habit.”

Well, now Fredrick was certainly curious.

“Oh? One could say she has a lot of ‘bad’ habits, but which one are you getting at?”

“Her problem—that I’ve seen in her since she was a wee lass—is that she has a bad habit of lettin’ a good thing sit fer too goddamn long by virtue of pride.”

Fredrick nodded, understanding immediately,

“Definitely. Heh, seen her pride cause a few… issues with her over the course of our relationship, that’s for sure.”

“Put it this way—you two takin’ that last, final step together? Stella wants it so badly tae be on her terms… and she knows you’ll most likely let her do that. She doesn’t know when she’ll be ready. But she wants to propose tae you, mate,” Vona informed.

A surprise for sure… but a welcome one. And really, not all that much of a surprise in a few aspects.

“She’s told you she wants to do that?” he asked.

“Nae.”

“Then… how’re you so sure?”

She deadpanned.

“I’m her mother. I know more about her than she knows about her fuckin’ self.”

“Touché. So… you’re saying that she’s completely gung-ho about all of this… but on her timetable and her terms?”

His summary seemed sufficient to her.

“Pretty much, mate,” Vona said. “And she’s countin’ on you—her lovely, caring, understanding, and sympathetic coltfriend—tae move at her pace. But more than that, despite what she thinks, she’s absolute shite at this sorta stuff. She second-guesses herself the longer she dwells.

“She’s got Vampir’s militaristic mind and can find a dominating strategy in an instant… but it don’t translate tae dick with relationships… as I’m sure you’ve found out.” she implied.

Fredrick’s eyes went wide in familiarity, and he nodded in full agreement.

“Oh yes. Absolutely witnessed.”

Schiavona sat up and leaned back against both of her arms.

“Pride and inaction don’t make good fuck buddies. Which is why—if you’re oh-so willing—I would like you tae take the initiative.

“Yer more easy-goin’ and observant. Nothin’ bad about that, mate. Stella needs a fuckin’ counterbalance in her life. A ‘cunt whisperer,’ if ya will.

“But tae give her what she really wants, she also needs that leading side of yers that you’re more than capable of.”

Spacing out and flicking his eyes elsewhere, Fred dwelled on those words for a moment. Because of more human customs from whence he came, he figured he would’ve been the one to pop the question at some point in the future. But in hearing what Vona had to say just now made him really want to be the first to do this… maybe not tomorrow or the next month… but goddamn did he want to see the look on her face when he beat her to the punch.

Schiavona’s voice cut into his thoughts before a full response could be formulated:

“But just tae make sure I’m not talkin’ out me arse… do ya want tae marry Stella?”

Fredrick looked at her and didn’t even need to deliberate on the answer.

“Of course! I wanna spend the rest of my life with her.”

“And with what I sorta said before… are you okay with joining our family?”

“I’d be honored.”

Schiavona beamed, clapped her hands together, and shimmied her butt in place on the bed. Batpony mares were too goddamn cute—this would probably be a short marriage to Stella if they kept up this strain on his heart.

“Awrite, mate!” she exclaimed. “Then—of course—take yer time. But don’t fuckin’ dilly nor dally, ya pale wank. The clan’s gettin’ impatient.”

Fredrick cocked an eyebrow, wholly unconvinced.

“You mean you’re getting impatient, right Vona? And this is just a means to an end for grandchildren… riiiiiight?”

Even the way she glowered at him for that comment was identical to Stella. The whiplash this evening was intense.

“You shut yer whore mouth, ya human twat. You an’ Stella are gonna produce strong offspring worthy of the clan’s name! And you two’re gonna be fuckin’ pleased about it!”

Just like with Stella, he knew there were multiple layers of jokes and sarcasm on top of the foundation of seriousness. He giggled.

“Yes, Vona. It will eventually be done. But in the meantime, the focus should likely be tying the knot, first, methinks,” Fred said, smirking.

Thankfully, she seemed to agree.

“Good idea! It’ll take as long as it needs to—within reason. But now that ya mention it, I don’t think it hurts tae… lay the foundation…” she then added.

Fredrick did not exactly welcome nor expect the crypticness. In hindsight, from who he was talking to, he probably should have.

“Ummm… what?”

Schiavona sat up completely, then eagerly got her hooves back onto the ground.

“Let’s go fer a little… night adventure through Canterlot.”

Fredrick blinked hard.

“Ummm… what?”

Vona pat his legs encouragingly.

“You heard me, lad! Get up!” she said, then pointed to his belt on the ground.

“And put yer fuckin’ belt on, ya fuckin’ slob. Let’s go fer a walk, get a spot of tea and sweet, and let’s… continue our little chat while we’re at it. Because I think we need tae brainstorm a little bit…” she added.

“Uhh, right now right now?” he asked. He needed to make sure that he was in the same plane of reality at the moment.

In complete disbelief, Fredrick watched her sashay back towards the balcony and out into the moonlight. She then took a comfortable seat on the balcony guard and gazed back at him with those familiar golden eyes that glowed extra bright in the moonlight.

Like the absolute chad that he expected her to be, she completely ignored answering his direct question, and ended with a simple:

“Don’t keep me waiting, Fredrick~!”

She spread her wings and let herself fall back over the railing and ‘plummet’ towards the earth and castle moat, disappearing from direct sight.

Fredrick stared for a few seconds at the exact place Schiavona was sitting. He pursed his lips in disbelief.

“Dude… I just wanted to go to sleep early, tonight!”

Next Chapter: 28. Logistics Estimated time remaining: 7 Hours, 9 Minutes