The Steel Talon was certainly a happening place on a Friday night… something that Fredrick had fully expected from a restaurant that distinctly reminded him of a BJ’s Restaurant and Brewery from Earth.

Thankfully the concept of table reservations had carried over from one planet and dimension to another.

Fredrick was in fantastic spirits as he and his pseudo-entourage were sat at their massive, circular table in the back that reminded him of the Legend of King Arthur. However instead of noble knights being sat at the Round Table, it was a giggling gaggle of gorgeous girls that were collectively getting jaw-dropped stares from surrounding stallions and mares alike.

Fred even had a moment with another stallion, who silently fist bumped him as he passed on his way in and mouthed ‘nice work, dude!’ to him. A mare even gave him a ‘knowing’ pat on his back… but what kinda disturbed him was that all these ponies were just assuming he was banging all the mares here.

Pony minds were in the goddamn gutter.

But then that meant he was assuming that they were assuming that he wanted to bang all these mares… which was totally unfair to impute upon everypony else.

Hypothetically, if his imputing were one-hundred percent true, would he bang all these mares if the stars all aligned properly and all physical and emotional conundrums could somehow be hurdled?

Oh, totally. One hundred percent. Without question.

Could I get a HELL FUCKING YES, SON?

Fredrick shook his head free of his male fantasies and hypotheticals—now was not the time for them at all. He sat himself at the arbitrary ‘head’ of the circular table, with Highground and Stella on either side of him. Next to Stella sat Sveta, and then Midnight and Schnee completed the circle.

A fine arrangement as any, he figured… and it was an easy matter of getting drinks of choice ordered and served.

That’s when Fredrick decided to make his first major move of the night. After he rolled up his sleeves, he stood up and quickly garnered the entire group’s attention by obnoxiously clearing his throat.

“Hey y’all! Sorry to intrude on all the riveting conversation, but I just wanna add a couple of things before we really kick everything off tonight,” he began.

Taking quick stock of the table, Fredrick commanded the attention of all five other pairs of eyes… though Stella was eyeing him both the most lovingly (with a healthy mix of sexual thoughts drawn on her pupils in highlighter), and yet with the greatest suspicion.

She knew well that Fredrick wouldn’t resist any opportunity to shitpost at her expense, on her night of all nights.

She would be one-hundred percent right.

Nevertheless, Fred did have some rather important, logistical stuff to get out into the open:

“Since we’ve got all our poisons of choice, I figured this would be a good time as any to let you know that everything is covered tonight… no matter where we are. You want it? Order it. It’s a special night and it’s all on me.”

Fredrick quickly learned that the easiest way to turn admiring, endearing faces of gorgeous mares aimed directly at him… into sudden scowls and frowns was to say that he was paying for all expenses.

He relished in it. The smugness he felt was too much to not enjoy it… even when Stella aggressively stood up—she was always really cute when she was ‘angry’ at him.

“You fuckin’ wot, mate?!” she bellowed, then thrust a single index finger in his general direction. “Ya better fuckin’ un-say that shit right fuckin’ now before I staple the tab to yer prostate!”

The urge to cackle like a madman welled up within Fredrick like a boiling steam engine. This would never get old…

…not even when Sveta joined her sister in standing. Their expressions were identical.

But more than that, there was just something… Something about having both stunningly hot Sabre sisters in gorgeous attire, looking like they wanted to homicide the shit outta him, that just made him wanna make Italian hand gestures from how deliciously spicy this was.

Fuck-a me that’s a spicy face-a.

It’s-a so spicy!

Sveta spoke:

“I don’t give a right fuck if yer Stella’s coltfriend. I’ll fuckin’ kill ya if ya take the whole tab, knobhead.”

Fredrick threw both his arms out confidently and challengingly, effectively t-posing.

“Do what you must, for I’ve already won! The tab’s already been set in my name—this is your night, Stella… so you better believe I’m willing to actually throw down over this, woman,” he said.

He then aimed his faux ire toward Sveta. He said quite knowingly with just the right amount of veil to his words for the general public to not understand:

“I’ve taken both of you together once—I’ll fuckin’ do it again! Context be damned!” he challenged, and garnered the exact reaction he was looking for…

…namely, Sveta blushed furiously. Fredrick thought she might’ve been bleeding from her teal face from how hard her cheeks colored. Nopony else was the wiser, just as planned.

Regardless, that only appeared to strengthen her resolve, and Sveta tapped her sister on the shoulder.

“Mate, don’t worry ‘bout killin’ him. I don’t want ye tae have the guilt of puttin’ yer colt underground… so I’ll kill ‘im for ye,” she so volunteered for the task, hand over her heart.

Things got more interesting for Fredrick right away.

He cocked an eyebrow towards Midnight when she stood up. Even from across the table, her stature was more than a bit intimidating, feminine figure notwithstanding.

She joined the chorus of genuinely serious-seeming—if token—resistance:

“Freddie~… as much as I’d love to come over there for a variety of reasons… you’re really not gonna want me to come over there right now,” she asserted.

Fredrick stood his ground, and the reaction he was getting was only fueling his smugness… a smugness that rivalled only the most powerful anime girls that he would jack himself to back on Earth, on a regular basis. Despite any and all resistance, Fredrick would have the honor of taking care of all expenses on this night.

None would deny him!

Errrrybody’s gettin’ mad!

Though, Fredrick did waver a bit when Schnee stood up in all her small, flowery summer dress glory.

Okay, he wavered a lot under the first time he experienced the distinctly icy stare of Schneeblume herself. She did not say a single word, but Fredrick could certainly infer the thoughts swimming around in her head.

Even then, the human stood firm.

Fredrick noticed that Highground wasn’t standing up to oppose his bill-paying hegemony… he shared a knowing smirk with her.

All according to keikaku…

Stella also seemed to notice this. Through her directed scowl that seemed to be genuine this time around, she didn’t look particularly pleased with this fact.

“Oi! Fuckin’ Highground! Yer okay with this shit?!” came her implicit exhortation.

“And meanwhile—every fuckin’ time I try tae pay fer dinner between you an’ me… ye fuckin’ shed yer entire fuckin’ uterine lining… whingein’ about like a bitch who hasn’t gone menopausal!” she ranted.

Highground coolly crossed her arms over her chest and only offered up a lopsided shrug. Fredrick had to stop himself from losing his shit at the sheer nonchalance.

She motioned to him with a tilt of her head whilst staring directly into Stella’s eyes.

“Fredrick and I came to… an agreement. He was pretty adamant about it, too. Regardless, he’ll be taking care of everything tonight. It’s already been decided and arranged,” Highground re-broke the news to everypony.

Fredrick’s smugness was approaching levels that should not have been scientifically possible… likely not even legal by whatever was the equivalent of the Geneva Convention of this world.

“You bet all y’all’s individual sweet asses!” Fredrick affirmed victoriously.

He then pointed to each and every standing mare one after the other:

“So… sit down, sit down, sit down, and sit down!”

Defeated, all silently obeyed one after the other.

Stella raised a finger, and her challenging gaze returned. Fredrick shut that down at an instant with a jokingly exaggerated, wide-eyed gaze of derision.

“Shut it!” he commanded, pointing directly at her.

Stella’s hand lowered… then she made the slightest move to stand back up in further defiance.

“SHUT!” Fred added, finger still in her face.

His combative marefriend ceased all resistance. He noticed the slightest inkling of desire to continue fighting from Sveta, and he shifted his attention silently to her. No resistance reared its gorgeous head.

All attention remained on him, even as a silence wreathed their roundtable. Despite the controlled, raucous nature of the restaurant itself, Fredrick had drawn a small audience from the surrounding tables. He had not noticed… particularly because of said scene that just unfolded between his marefriend and his friends over the simple act of bill paying.

It was ridiculous. It was downright comical. It brought back so many amazing memories both from this world and his past one. But more than that, the sheer absurdity of the exchanged words was enough to crack Fredrick’s jokingly serious exterior.

He couldn’t stifle one of the feminine, undignified giggles that managed to worm its way from his core.

That’s when the dam broke fully. The entire table collectively lost their entire shit. The senseless cackling to the moon silenced the rest of their dining area for the briefest of moments… not that Fredrick—nor anypony else at the table—cared in the slightest.

While Fredrick himself was damn-near wheezing, Stella and Sveta were howling like hyenas. Midnight had buried her face in her hands as she cackled. Schnee had thrown her head back and was just reclining in her chair, clutching her tummy and giggling to her little heart’s content. Even Highground was snickering whilst shaking her head.

Well… that was a thing.

Fredrick’s bright smile couldn’t quit at this time, and once everypony calmed down and looked to him with easy, level eyes, he decided to do what he had set out to do in the first place.

He raised his glass of gin and ginger whilst looking directly at Stella.

“To the birthday mare—and my gorgeous marefriend—Stella,” he toasted. “May tonight be eventful, may the drinks be strong, and may the events be memorable. May the hangovers be few and the fun be plenty.”

With a loving wink, he finished off with:

“Happy birthday, babe. I love you so much!”

Stella seemed to have sparkling stars in her eyes at his little ‘speech,’ as it were. Her cheeks were flushed somewhat, and she lowered her head just a smidge sheepishly before replying.

“I love you too, ya lovable twatweasel.”

Fredrick beamed, then addressed the rest of the ponies at the table…

…who were looking at him with various degrees of heart warmth at his little display of affection towards Stella.

He raised his glass higher.

“To Stella!”

All raised their diverse drinks to the sky in unison.

“To Stella!”

All leaned in to clink their drinks together before motioning to sip… though as Fredrick assumed correctly, a ‘sip’ constituted to something quite different depending on the pony at the table.

Fredrick preferred the sipping drinks to start off, so he did just that… what he considered a ‘normal’ sip. Stella ordered her signature Northern Sapphire Cream Cutie in a scotch glass much like Fredrick’s… though she treated the thing like an oversized shot glass. There was no more cream cutie to be seen, which was par for the course with her.

Sveta didn’t fully take after her sister and had opted for a rum and cola—efficient, reliable, and tasty, in Fredrick’s eyes. Just like Sveta herself.

About half of it remained after the toast.

Midnight had taken a decent-sized gulp of her coffee liqueur. She had completely horked down all the whipped cream that came with it, too… Fredrick wasn’t exactly sure how, but he knew that was an omen to some aspect of her life.

He figured it had something to do with that longer, seemingly dexterous tongue of hers.

Schneeblume—to Fredrick’s both absolute respect and horror—had annihilated an entire stein of Alemaneian imported beer with a cute ‘ahhh’ and a beaming smirk. Said stein was about the size of her head.

Then again, Fredrick figured that from the shit she’d seen and been through in the more recent years, alcohol was probably her solace. Again, he had eternal respect for this mare… but goddamn she was smol. He literally couldn’t get over this dichotomy between her appearance and her background.

In a way, it was unsettling for his Neanderthal-ass brain.

Highground shotgunned her glass of water. Because of course she would stick to her word in being the only responsible one tonight.

Fredrick knew he owed her dinner and alcohol of her choice at a later date.

“Alright!” Fredrick announced as he sat back down in his chair.

He confidently reclined back as he picked up a menu.

“Now… whose trouser snake do ya have to charm to get some damn appetizers around here. What do y’all want?” he kicked off the search for nourishment.

Really though, it was mainly an excuse so he personally could get food into his gob—he really was starving. It was also an excuse to say that he cared about everyone in attendance enough to make sure they had sated stomachs as the drinks continued to roll in at a steady pace.

Time passed at a smooth, yet easy pace for Fredrick. With his sleeves rolled up and having reclined in his chair after two more gin and gingers as well as about seven fully loaded Equestrian potato skins… life was just fantastic in this moment.

Much like on the trek over to the Steel Talon, Fredrick was more than content to say little and just live within the massive, animated conversation amidst all five mares.

Of course, this first stop wasn’t going to be the highlight of the night—not by a long shot. Other than responding when asked and occasionally offering his input, Fredrick opted to let the food and drink ferment within his gut, and calm the hunger jitters before the alcohol kicked in. That’s when all the extra fun would begin for him.

Besides, the real gift for him was seeing Stella at the center of attention amongst her closest friends.

Perhaps it was also the alcohol involved, but Stella was just much more gorgeous tonight than she normally was… which was impressive by Fredrick’s standards. Maybe it was the fact that she never frequented midriff tops, like, at all. Maybe it was the fact that through her raucous laughter and typical antics amongst her peers, a couple locks of her mane dislodged themselves from her usual kempt manestyle… which in turn helped frame her face.

Or maybe it was when Stella would catch him silently staring—admiring her. She would reciprocate with a wink and a smile of her own that told him everything he needed to know.

Or some combination of all the above, Fredrick ultimately figured.

During a conversation in which Fredrick was more of a passive listener, he felt somepony tap and hold his right shoulder. Angling his head over, he found Highground reclining comfortably in her chair, seemingly also taking a break from the massive amount of energy at the table.

“How’re you doing, kid?” she asked plainly whilst she continued to sip on her water.

Fredrick smirked at her, then reclined back in his own seat so he could talk to her properly. He stretched out and sighed, satisfied.

“Fuckin’ fantastic, lemme tell ya. It’s already a awesome night—Echo’s is gonna be even better probably… and Stella’s having a blast so far. Can’t ask for much more,” he said.

Highground reflected his gentle, prideful smile with her own batpony, fangy flair.

“Nah, you did good, Fred. And you’ve been doing good this entire time—fantastic, even,” she replied.

Fred cocked an eyebrow.

“Whadd’ya mean?” he asked. “As in… us?”

Highground nodded once.

“Duh! I’m actually pretty impressed after all this time. You’ve managed to keep Stella wrangled for however long you’ve been together… almost a year, maybe? You haven’t died of a catastrophic stroke, and she hasn’t killed herself yet. I consider that a win!”

She tossed back the rest of her water and sat the empty glass on the table. A waitress promptly came by and refilled it nigh-instantaneously.

Highground then added a little something extra with a certain bit of crypticism mixed with a healthy amount of coyness:

“It may be a bit early for this, and I’m totally pushing boundaries here… but all of this success for you two makes me wonder…~”

Fredrick adjusted his legs and lay his right arm over the back of his chair. He curled the right side of his mouth upward and stared into those conniving, golden eyes of the older batpony. She was unreadable to him, unfortunately.

He cocked an eyebrow.

“Wonder what, Highground?” he dared ask, taking the lure out of sheer curiosity.

She rolled her eyes.

“What, do I really gotta be more obvious than that? Okay fine—when’re you gonna marry the bitch?”

Fredrick felt like he was gonna send the chair sailing backwards from how hard he recoiled at her words. Said words felt like they actually had weight to them, and he got dickslapped by the ethereal truth of Canterlot’s Finest.

Was this ethereal, police brutality?

Apparently sompony else noticed his sudden reflexes:

“Oi, love! You alright over there? You looked like ya shit out yer own fuckin’ spinal column,” Stella called from across the table.

Fredrick glanced over to his marefriend, who was eyeing him curiously while surrounded by the rest of the group… whose eyes were also on him. He felt like a deer in the headlights of Thomas the Dank Engine about to force his way up his starfish.

“Oh yeAH!” Fredrick called back… perhaps a little too eagerly.

He thumbed towards the stoic cop who had a barely visible, shit-eating up-curl of her lips.

“All good over here, just having a lovely bit of catching up with Highground. She asks some tough questions, Stel’!”

Stella chuckled.

“Aye… that she does! Lemme know if ye need some backup,” she said, then winked, much to the giggling delight of the rest of the group.

Fred shot her a lone finger-gun.

“You got it, toots.”

He figuratively wiped a bucket of sweat off his forehead and urgently turned back to Highground.

“Are you insane?!” he asked, quieting his words down to just below the ambient volume.

“You’re really gonna blurt out a question like that when she and everypony else are here? We’re just barely coming up on a year together, anyway! What’s the matter with you??”

Highground offered a halfhearted shrug and gestured open-palmed:

“Did I say anything wrong, Fredrick?” she asked.

Fredrick opened his mouth and gestured appropriately as if the answer was so obvious.

“Yeah, well—I mean it’s a bit… We’re not read… In that sense… hmph,” he struggled.

It was Highground’s turn to give off a smugness that only the finest anime girls could muster… and then put forth a knowing, but rhetorical question.

“Seems like things aren’t so obvious to you as you thought, huh?”

“What I’m really curious about…” Fredrick said. “…is why this of all questions is coming up now of all times? Seems a bit early to be thinking about something like that, don’t you think?”

Highground leaned forward and smirked.

“Maybe just a little bit… but if I’m being completely honest, you two act just like a newly-married couple already. It’s cute as hell. Surprising, but cute as hell.”

Fredrick shrugged.

“I’m… not really sure what to do with that information, though. T-Thank you? Heh,” he replied awkwardly.

“What I’m really trying to say, Fredrick… is that I don’t really see Stella with anypony else but you. And I think that’s vomit-inducing but it’s still cute as hell,” she added.

Fredrick smiled at her, then nodded. A familiar, most-welcome warmness returned to his cheeks when he glanced at Stella once again.

How happy she looks…

“Fair,” he said. “I can’t imagine myself with someone else either. But again—be things as they may—we’re still a good way off from tying the knot, methinks.”

Highground again shrugged with a shit-eating coyness that only served to make him internally roll his eyes.

“I dunno, man… anything’s possible around these parts,” she teased.

Fredrick was not convinced in the slightest.

“Really, HG? Think of how you know me. Even if I love her to death and beyond—which I do—do you think I’d just jump into fuckin’ marriage before even a year has passed?” he asked.

“Well… you did manage to find yourself here in the first place through essentially impossible means. Based on that, I’d wager the impossible is possible with you, Fredrick,” she said.

Fred went completely stoic—that had been one of the most paradoxically true things that he had ever heard about himself. It made zero sense yet all the sense at the same time.

He couldn’t help but place his forehead in his hand, wide-eyed.

“Jesus Christ you’re right… holy fuck I can’t believe I just lost that argument. I should just kill myself right now,” he said.

Stella’s voice entered the conversation, and Fredrick felt both her arms draped over his chest and wrap themselves comfortably around him. She shimmied her chest happily against the back of his head.

“Kill yerself over what, love? Ye fuckin’ better not. I’ll fuckin’ kill ya.”

Fredrick smiled and once again let any of his worries melt away at his marefriend’s touch… especially when she kissed the top of his head. He angled his head up to her and shared an unexpected yet no-way unwelcome ‘inverted kiss.’

Firm tits against the back of his head weren’t nothin’ to balk at, either.

“Bah, nothin’. You know me, just playing at topping myself off at the slightest inconvenience. You know, normal human things. Again, Highground just asks some thought-provoking questions, is all,” he said.

“Pfft, of course she does!” she said, then addressed the mare in question.

“Oi, cunt! Don’t go makin’ him consider ‘ye olde fast drop and a hard stop,’ aye? That’s my fuckin’ job!”

Fredrick could only assume from under Stella’s chin that she leveled some kind of ‘face’ at Highground… since Highground in front of him stuck her tongue out at her. He chuckled at the display and lovingly tapped Stella’s forearms as he looked back up at her.

“You look like you’re having a good time, babe! Well at least I hope you are, heh…” he said.

Again, any of Fredrick’s residual concerns were put to bed when Stella exaggeratedly smooched his lips… which sent a euphoric rush to his cheeks and a wide smile to his face once she pulled back.

“Oh fuck yes, love! I’d’ve loved it even if this was the end of the night, right here! It’s only been like, an hour and a half… but I didn’t realize how ehm… absorbed I’d been the last few months,” she said…

…then lamented for a few seconds.

“I fell outta touch with some good ponies so it’s been really good tae catch up… give the old cunts a stroke,” she said.

Fredrick snickered and cocked an eyebrow. The inverse orientation of their faces didn’t bother him none.

“Is that one of your famous Northern sayings? That sounds completely fuckin’ made up.”

Stella shrugged knowingly.

“Oh yeah I made that shit up—I was lazy! I have some good food in me and some booze. I’m sure ye can excuse me~,” she said, then teasingly nipped at his nose.

Fredrick lowered his eyelids and smiled lustfully up at his marefriend… who returned the look in earnest.

“Maybe just this one time,” he faux threatened, then nuzzled his nose against hers.

He took her hand in his.

“Y’all ready to head out?” he asked and turned around normally in his chair since his neck had started to bitch at him.

Stella nodded excitedly.

“Aye, I think it’s about that time—ready tae really get fuckin’ proper gashed,” she said.

Sveta figuratively strutted into the conversation, having scooted her chair closer to them.

“Saaaaaame, lass,” she added. “Besides, I’m nowhere near drunk enough tae get entertainment from watchin’ ye two eye-fuck each other.”

Fredrick wasn’t convinced at all.

“Oh don’t fuckin lie, Sveta… you enjoy every friggin’ minute of it. Maybe too much, sometimes,” he added allusively, then winked—open mouthed—at Stella.

Stella in turn winked—open mouthed—at Fredrick.

Sveta was straight-lipped and clearly unamused.

“Yer a fuckin’ dick, you know that?”

“I catch myself once in a while. It’s still funny, though.”

Sveta’s smile returned.

“Eh. Besides, if I wanted tae watch somepony eye-fuck somepony else, I’d watch fuckin’ Midnight,” she joked.

“Oh?” Fredrick dared asked, his impishness returning full force and barely able to hide itself under his shit-eating smirk. “Her downshirting you not scratch your itch?”

He gestured unabashedly towards her boobs.

“I’m sure if you just give ‘em a jiggle in that top, she wouldn’t just eye-fuck you. She’d eye ‘bend-you-over-this-goddamn-table.’”

Sveta giggled and simultaneously slapped his shoulder.

“Not me, retard!” She pointed back towards the table and lowered her voice. “Look!”

Fredrick followed Sveta’s finger and found Midnight and Schneeblume in absurdly animated conversation. Perhaps more than that though, Midnight’s chair was just a bit too close to Schnee’s.

“I can’t really read Schnee… but Middy ain’t givin’ her an eye-fuckin’. She’s fuckin’ eye-cave-explorin’ her, lads.”

Stella seemed to agree wholeheartedly—Fredrick could even detect a hint of surprise in her voice:

“Aye… I’d fuckin’ believe it. She eye-fuck’s everypony but damn she’s really givin’ her ye olde eye-dickening, methinks. Well I ain’t gonna fuckin’ break that shit up. Schnee can take care of herself… and I kinda wanna see where this goes tonight, aye?”

“Aye.”

“Same.”

Highground silently weighed in:

“Eh… fuck it. Yeah, same.”

He also noticed one other rather prominent detail when he tried listening in on said conversation.

“Huh, no shit… they’re speaking German,” he remarked.

Stella looked confused.

“Ummm… you mean Alemaneian?” she asked.

“Oh, right. Yeah. I obviously knew Schnee was Germ—Alemaneian. Fuck man, old habits are still dying hard… But I didn’t know Midnight spoke! Damn, I thought she was like, ‘Romaneian’ or some shit, right?”

Amused, he smirked and huffed at their little display.

“Her accent’s definitely different though.”

Sveta nodded to all of his observations and questions, but she gestured towards Stella to answer that question.

“Aye,” Stella said. “Her mum’s Alemaneian, so she can speak it fluently… but with a weird accent. Still better than me, though.”

Fredrick sniggered evilly.

“Stella… baby… you can barely speak Equestrian,” he quipped.

“Oh fuuuck you, twatboy!”

She squeezed his head in response as Sveta took no qualm with laughing at her sister’s expense. Considering they spoke incredibly similar—if not identically save for some more sophisticated lexicon on Sveta’s side—Fredrick wasn’t so sure why she was laughing at that.

He sure as hell wasn’t going to remind her.

“Alrighty then, fuckers…” he said just a little bit louder to get everypony else’s attention at the table.

“Feel free to start heading out. I’ll get us squared away here.” He then politely motioned towards their waitress behind him.

“Just the check, please.”

Fredrick also mentioned to Highground:

“Also, please escort everypony outside while I settle us up… and make sure they don’t get any funny ideas trying to wrest control of the bill.”

She nodded and stood up out of her chair.

“You got it Fred.

“Alright everypony, let’s go. We’ll meet him outside. Come on! Move! Let’s go!” she ordered, and expertly herded all the cats away from the table.

While Fredrick’s smugness returned at the display, it wasn’t without any verbal cues as to what the other four thought of the situation:

“Fucker!”

“Fucker!”

“Fucker!”

“Fucker!”

Fredrick waved everypony off with a cheek-to-cheek smile as they filed away from the table and out of sight. Once he found himself alone and the final bill was dropped in front of him, he couldn’t help the wave of ridiculous emotions that were welling up within him… the sheer absurdity of this night—even though everything was quite tame by this point by anyone’s standards—was already well-documented.

He scanned the check once-over while he ruminated.

These mares are cheap dates.

Fredrick wasn’t sure what it was… but tonight seemed vaguely, quantifiably extra special than what he already knew it would be. Part of him felt it was the simple act of indirectly taking Stella out to eat, even if she was surrounded by all her friends, which was kinda the plan.

But the more he thought about it, after all this time, Fredrick sort of missed that simplicity. For as long as he and Stella had been together, the two of them had a many variety of dates… of which bringing food to one of their rooms or going to some form of a dive bar with other shenanigans were the preferred choices.

The simple act of just sitting down and eating with each other wasn’t really emphasized all that much—just simply taking her out to dinner, that was. That wasn’t necessarily a bad thing in Fred’s mind, but he did miss it a bit. He also knew that if he asked Stella to have dinner with him at a nice restaurant, she’d be totally up for it!

He also wasn’t sure why he was devoting so much thought to something so simple and essentially a guaranteed outcome.

But that was life for him.

Fred left the appropriate amount to cover everything… as well as a phat tip for the waitress before he left to join everypony outside.

Upon confidently strolling outside the restaurant with an excited swagger in his step, he found the rest of the group mingling with one another at the street side… but once he was in view of everyone, Fredrick couldn’t help but feel like a tiny deer in the headlights of a semi when four pairs of eyes all honed in on him.

None of their owners seemed able to particularly get over him squaring away the entire bill.

Nevertheless though, Fredrick was prepared to stay on this hill and die on it if anyone tried to intervene or do something as heinous as ‘pay him back’ for the trouble. The man wouldn’t stand for it one bit.

“I’m not accepting repayment from any one of you. In Stella’s most intellectual words, y’all can fuck right off with that,” he preempted.

All grumbled and moaned, as expected. But what Fredrick didn’t expect was Midnight stepping forward.

“Well… if you’re going to be stubborn about this—I’d like to at least thank you properly for feeding us, at least on my behalf,” she said, and added an extra coy, upward curl of her lips.

Fredrick blinked a couple of times before sharing a look at Stella… who in turn rolled her eyes.

“No, Midnight. You can’t suck him off—especially not in the middle of the sidewalk at this hour. Fuck’s the matter with you, lass?” Stella jokingly, yet somewhat seriously reprimanded.

Fredrick whipped his head toward her.

“Excuse me… what? WHAT?” he demanded to know.

It was Midnight’s turn to exaggeratedly shrug off Stella’s words, and seeing her reaction cooled Fredrick’s nerves a tad. Not that the thought of Midnight getting on her knees in front of him wasn’t a pleasant thought to swim around in his head…

He wouldn’t put anything past this unit of a batpony.

Midnight sighed—perhaps a bit too dreamily.

“While that thought is certainly delectable…” she began with a bit too much of a sexually desirous tone. “I meant something a little tamer than that, Stella. Have you no faith in me?” she quipped.

Stella looked like someone told her a historical fact.

“Nae. I don’t.”

Sveta did a poor job of hiding her snort. Schneeblume looked oblivious to it all, as she was just staring up and around at Canterlot’s buildings with a sparkle in her eye.

Midnight, to her credit, smirked genuinely.

“Perhaps you’re right. But in all seriousness…” she turned back to Fredrick and addressed him directly…

...but then glanced over toward Stella—an implicit question was written all over her face. Fredrick watched as Stella smirked more coyly, and then genuinely before rolling her eyes once more.

Stella gestured back towards him.

“Fiiiiiiine. As long as he’s okay with it, though.”

A confused Fredrick looked back to Midnight, who smiled warmly down at him.

“May I?” she asked with no small hint of impishness at the implicit vagueness of her request.

Fredrick didn’t know what to expect from such a cryptic question from Midnight—anything was possible with her, he learned. But a quick look back at Stella reaffirmed that whatever this amazoness had in mind, Stella was more than okay with and was more than likely in the realm of propriety.

He had been right about one thing, though—tonight was already getting weird.

Nevertheless, he eyed Midnight with suspicion.

“Ummm… sure?” he said, not at all convinced that he made the right choice in the figurative RPG that was his life.

Having said that, Midnight appeared to glow even brighter in the moonlight of the partly cloudy evening. That’s when Fredrick witnessed her—heart racing due to uncertainty in the face of that predatorial smile—bend at the waist.

The downshirt was, of course, legendary.

But what overshadowed that was the wet, single-second kiss she planted right on his cheek with an exaggerated smack. He could feel the blood rushing to his cheeks at the admittedly lovely gesture, though Fredrick was just happy that said blood wasn’t turning south to his Baku Oil Fields if he caught his own drift.

She pulled back and grinned evilly—accomplished.

“Thank you for dinner, Freddie… and tonight~,” she simply said, then punctuated with a cute giggle.

Fred gulped… and apparently Stella noticed that because she made no attempt to hide her snickering.

“Y-You too,” he said absentmindedly, but then smiled back up at her.

Before Fred could even reply with some genuine pleasantries such as “you’re welcome” or “it was my privilege” or “bring that ass back anytime, toots,” it seemed that the figurative dams had broken.

And said figurative dams were holding back a tidal wave of gratitude in the form of the mares lining up to ‘thank’ him, as it were. It appeared that he was literally about to drown in mares, as platonic as it all was.

In the briefest moments before any dialogue was exchanged, Fredrick wanted to feel that he was a bit nervous about this, much like the feeling of getting sized up by Midnight. But he knew deep down, that would be a goddamn lie.

This was a very benign fantasy of his, and he was going to enjoy every minute of it in all it’s platonic goodness.

The cherry on top was this entire slug of events taking place literally right outside the Steel Talon… where the sidewalk was still crowded with to-be patrons and ponies going about their evening.

Stella swaggered herself on into Fredrick’s willing hold with the usual smile and visage of hers.

“Ya know… where the fuck’re me manners?” she asked rhetorically before nuzzling Fredrick’s nose, much to his enjoyment and blushed face.

Fredrick smiled brightly as Stella hooked her right hand around the nape of his neck and roped him into dipping her low… something he rather enjoyed, especially since it was the herald of some brilliant kissing.

“Thanks fer dinner, love,” she added, then pressed her lips nice and firmly against his.

Fredrick gladly shared a ‘classical’ kiss with the mare of his dreams and affections, and relished in the feeling of her wet lips on his. This—in conjunction with the smell of her coat and the firmness of the small of her back by which he eagerly supported her—was a delicacy that he would always entertain.

Goddamn I love this mare…

Fredrick righted Stella properly on her hooves after a few seconds and separated from her fully. He paid little mind to the teeny, nigh-invisible strand of saliva that connected their lips for an extra second longer.

He lidded his eyes confidently at her.

“Always.”

Sveta was hot on Stella’s heels with her own iconic sashay. Her face—here entire aura in the moment—played host to the confidence of a mare who knew too much, had participated in too much, and knew she had a certain few—if minor—unspoken ‘liberties’ that nopony else was afforded.

Fredrick observed as she and Stella shared a single, sisterly ‘look’ that spanned all but a few fractions of a second. In that small bout of eye-contact, he could only figure that a wealth of information, bureaucracy, and approvals were gone through…

…all which culminated in Sveta unabashedly pecking his lips.

Fredrick was more than happy to reciprocate the gesture—she had been vetted, after all. Plus, it was always something to have any gorgeous mare that shared the love of his life’s genetic smile beam up at him.

“Cheers for dinner, mate. Yer a great lad, even though yer a fuckin’ ass pipe sometimes, aye?” she added her own flair to make up for Stella’s sappier performance.

Fredrick shrugged and gestured gently, yet intelligibly with his hands. There was really nothing with which he could come back to that.

“Sure thing, Sveta… and yeah, let’s go with that,” he said, smirking at the imagery of her choice of insult.

And then, there was Schneeblume.

Fredrick could already feel the heart palpitations coming on the moment those lavender eyes on that pristine face of hers beamed right up at him. What became even worse for his cardiovascular health was when Schnee got onto the tips of her hooves to plant one on his left cheek.

“Thank you very much for our dinner, Fredrick! Stella is a very lucky mare,” she added.

Fredrick felt like squee-ing like a little girl, but only by the sheer force of his will did he refrain from doing so. He also figured this was probably why most younger men died of heart attacks—preventing their internal cuteness overload from having an outlet, or manifesting itself.

“You are so welcome, Schnee! And sometimes she’s lucky…” he said, then shot Stella an impish glare.

“...the rest of the time she’s probably just trying not to hang me. Or at least make it look like a somewhat convincing accident,” he said, tossing a wink over in her direction.

...much to her apparent, playful chagrin.

“Oi, fuck you, cunt! I love you, bitchboy!”

Fredrick made a kissy-face at her.

“Love you too, my little cockgoblin.”

She winked right back at him.

At this point, that’s when Fredrick noticed that Highground was standing off to the side and observing their bout of shenanigans from a ‘safe’ distance. He chuckled at her expressionless face—with maybe the slightest tug at the right side of her lips.

She shook her head.

“I’m not kissing you on the cheek.”

Fredrick echoed the exact same sentiment.

“Yeah… that would’ve been way outta character for you. Though to be fair, didn’t expect that even from anyone else here.”

He shrugged and turned back to everypony else, before pointing directly down the sidewalk and getting a head start in the herding process. Highground seemed to read his mind and already began walking with him.

“Righto! I say we get to Echo’s and pickle our livers with shots of hard alcohol—how copy?”

Like a mystical spell, apparently Fredrick only had to say the right combination of words for everypony to immediately fall into step with him—much more easily than he had expected, given the alcohol and good times already introduced thus far.

Stella dutifully took her place on his right side, and linked her arm with his.

“Solid copy!” she said.

Sveta eagerly sauntered into step on his left side.

“My body is solid!”

Midnight was not far behind, and neither was Schneeblume.

“Hmmm I like things… solid~,” the former said, finger suggestively on her lips.

“Sehr solide~.”

“Goddamnit, Schnee! Don’t encourage her!”

Fredrick remembered one time when Stella took him to the Stalactite, and he was in awe at the design aesthetic of it all… what with the ‘rock lights’ and the fact that it was a place that essentially was tailored specifically to batponies.

He also remembered his time up in the Northern Mountains—his first night there when he, Stella, and Sveta made their way over to Crescent’s. Same exact idea with the lighting and the tailoring to batponies… though arguably much more aggressive given the area and what went down without seemingly a shred of extra thought by the general patronage.

Fred was getting somewhat similar vibes from Echo’s, but in a more ‘refined’ way… at least that was the word he would use to describe it in his head, appropriateness be damned. That was likely because there was a distinct lack of at least two fights at any given time, unlike up north.

Simple stuff, really.

It was even simpler to just waltz right in with five gorgeous mares in tow… and also garner the exact same reactions as he did back at the Steel Talon. There was, however, a notable addition of drunk thoughts and occasional whistles (from mares and stallions) that the group ate up with varying degrees of nonchalant-ness.

Fredrick also never got over batpony eyes seemingly glowing in the dark when there was a lack of abundant light.

He quickly noted the modest dance floor straight ahead with some lovely music playing overhead, as well as the dive bar-esque watering hole that lined the entire right. Tables and other more intimate seating areas took up the remaining space in between. He figured all of these places would be getting ample use during their time here, tonight.

This place is awesome!

Fred pivoted and led the group to an open section of the bar. While he opted to stand, Stella and Schnee climbed up on the high stools while everypony else joined him on their hooves.

As for Stella, her bright, wide eyes were scanning the entire architecture of the interior, drinking up everything she could and actively burning the pictures into her brain.

“Alriiiight! Let’s get the real party started!” Fred announced, then pointed at everyone questioningly.

“Vodka good for everyone to start off with? After that, just get whatever the hell y’all want.”

Like the true chad he aspired to be, he didn’t even give anypony else a chance to answer before turning towards the bartender—a turquoise-coated unicorn mare in a uniformed tank top who eyed him questioningly.

Thankfully for Fred, everypony behind his back seemed to agree with his decision:

“Aye! A fine start!”

“Good for me!”

“Water for me, of course.”

“Ja!”

“Mmmm, quite~.”

Fredrick cleared his throat when he locked eyes with the bartender.

“Hi there! A flight of five shots of your finest vodka—and one of water, for our designated responsibility holder, please,” he said, smiling.

Said tall, slender unicorn mare—whom Fredrick could barely make out her name as ‘Vel’ via her nametag—continued to eye him up curiously. Fredrick paid it no mind and waited patiently for her to have her fill. He wasn’t exactly known to everypony in Canterlot, so a few wayward looks from anypony who hadn’t seen the one-and-only human in existence was to be expected.

After a few seconds, she smiled back at him.

“Well alright then, good lookin’! We closing out now? Or do you wanna run a tab?” she asked.

Fred nodded at the mention of the last part of her sentence.

“Tab, please,” he said.

Vel smiled back at him.

“You got it!” she said, then immediately got to work.

Everypony got extra comfortable with one another when they all crowded in, enraptured by the sudden show that Vel the bartender was putting on in just pouring simple shots of vodka.

First, she levitated six shot glasses, encasing them in a cyan sheen of magic whilst holding out her hands for added effect—Fredrick thought it made her look sort of like a Jedi with her hand motions.

Then, as the color of the lighting in the room changed to reflect the musical ambiance for the adjacent dance floor, she willed a brand new bottle of mysterious vodka from underneath the table, and opened it up. In a feat that nearly threw Fredrick (and everypony else) for a loop, Vel then hung the open bottle upside down—with no spillage in the slightest, since she plugged the hole with her magic.

Fredrick heard both Sabre sisters scream in fright, and he felt Stella grip his right arm with iron fists, as did Sveta on his left. Sparing a milisecond’s glance at both of them nearly made him lose his shit—neither could bear the thought of perfectly pristine alcohol going to waste on the ground, it seemed.

Vel then had all six shot glasses ‘randomly’ orbit the upside down vodka bottle, as if they were electrons orbiting the nucleus of an atom… which made Fredrick’s jaw hit the counter and then tumble to the floor. Combined with the ambient lighting and the natural light emitted from magic, the scene served to cast a gentle glow over the attractive bartender, who clearly enjoyed what she was doing.

Fredrick could also have sworn that he heard Midnight give out the tiniest groan of pleasure. He had no desire to find out for sure, but he would take his peripheral observations for what they were, because it seemed plausible enough.

Finally, each time one of the orbiting shot glasses passed under the top of the bottle, Vel would let just enough of the elixir dispense into said glass… before then lining up the full glasses on the counter in front of them.

After five glasses were filled, Vel placed the bottle back under the counter and simply filled up the last glass with water. She placed it right next to the other five in line and beamed.

“All yours, guys!” she said with a bright smile.

Fredrick just had to slow-clap at the display.

“Good fuckin’ show, lass!” Stella exclaimed.

“Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful! Thank you so much!” Fredrick added on top of his marefriend’s words.

Vel took a curtsy.

“Thank you kindly! Let me know when you’re ready for another round!” she said.

Fredrick was the first to grab his shot, and everypony else followed suit. He then turned around to face all of them with his glass raised.

“Now whaddya y’all say we really get Stella’s birthday turned up a few levels?” he asked rhetorically.

All raised their glasses and smirked.

“Aye!”

“Aye indeed!”

“I’ll turn up in spirit.”

“Oh yes… This one will probably get me very tipsy. I love being a lightweight~.”

“We drink!”

Getting the all clear, Fredrick raised his glass into the middle of their group.

“To Stella!”

All seemed to get the message right away, and clinked their own shot glasses against his.

“To Stella!” they all said in unison.

And down all six hatches, it all went. The first thing he noticed once said alcoholic liquid slid down his gullet, was that it was indeed unmistakably vodka.

At least in regards to taste—battery acid mixed with some other profane materials that had no business being together. It tasted awful, and he had no idea how people could drink this and claim to his face that they liked the taste of vodka. However, what Fredrick figured separated regular vodka from this ‘finest’ vodka of the establishment, was its smoothness.

True, it tasted like over-fermented shit, but when it slid down his throat like the semen of the devil that vodka was, it didn’t peel his throat skin like wallpaper as normal vodka was oft to do.

In fact, he felt he might as well have been drinking shittily filtered water that would start him well on the path to drunkenness. And that in and of itself was a substantial improvement!

Fredrick slammed the shot glass back down on the counter as the familiar alcoholic warmth diffused through his core and up to his face.

“Wow! That was… actually pretty damn awesome!”

“Fuck me… that tasted like shit but I didn’t hate that!” Sveta noted.

Stella seemed to agree, and regarded the empty glass impressed.

“I’ll say! Fuck I could go fer a few more of those before the shit taste gets tae me…” she mused.

Schneeblume seemed to be in similar straits, but rather than let everypony know right off the back, she had already opted to turn back to Vel.

“Can… can I have another one of those, please?” she asked timidly, which earned straight-up laughter from both Stella and Midnight.

“Absolutely!” the bartender eagerly agreed.

Fredrick watched silently as he found himself a passive listener in the middle of a small conversation with Stella, Sveta, and Highground…

Midnight’s laugh was too contagious sometimes.

“Hah! I never took you for a vodka mare, Schnee,” the larger batpony mare said.

With topped off shot glass in hand, Schneeblume threw her head back and dropped her second serving down into her stomach… and still didn’t miss a beat:

“Ja… helps me forget,” she rebutted so nonchalantly.

Fredrick flinched at that one.

With how wide Midnight’s eyes went… and how awkwardly her posture had sullen, Fred nearly felt second-hand embarassment and cringe on her behalf. What made it even funnier was that the solar guard didn’t notice that slight twinkle and unobvious, impish curl of Schnee’s lips.

But she found out quickly enough.

Schneeblume playfully slapped Midnight on the shoulder with the palm of her prosthetic, which elicited a rather loud yelp from her… as well as Midnight needing to massage her deltoid.

“I’m just messing with you, dear. You need to lighten up!” she said in her native language.

Fredrick saw Midnight’s face elastically bounce back from light wincing to flirtatious.

“Heh, well weirdly enough, I’m a massive lightweight so… how about another drink?” Midnight asked. The tone in her voice for Fredrick seemed almost oddly meek.

Schneeblume beamed.

“Now you’re talking!” she said, and Midnight huddled with her at the bar.

Fredrick shook his head at the display, not bothering to hide his chuckling anymore… though he did want to see where the two of them ‘ended up’—so to speak—by the end of the night. Whatever they were saying to each other in Alemaneian, Fred could only pick out bits and pieces of it. It had to be somewhat nice, based on their facial expressions.

His attention was drawn back to the rest of his group when Stella kissed him on his cheek, and then slunk herself under his arm. He looked down at her and met her glowing gaze with his own.

“Hey there, hotstuff.”

She batted her eyelashes at him and smiled devilishly at the same time.

“Let’s do another shot together! Then, I wanna do something… special…~” she said, and put forth no attempt at hiding something that would certainly test his comfort zone around alcohol, but that he would have fun with nonetheless.

Just a hunch.

But like with most things relating to Stella, Fred was more than eager to dive in headfirst—especially on her birthday of all nights.

“Fuck yeah!” he said, much to her immediate delight.

He turned back to their noble bartender, who had just finished serving Midnight and Schnee their second and third round, respectively. She lit up right away when she saw him looking for her.

“Hey, Vel! Got any flavored vodka?” he asked.

Heralded by the lighting up of her horn, four different colored bottles were magically raised into the air.

“You know it! Got blueberry, strawberry, pineapple, and mango!”

Fredrick glanced knowingly at Stella… who glanced knowingly right back up at him.

“Pineapple. Definitely pineapple for the two of us,” he said, then looked over and back towards Sveta and Highground.

“You want in on this, Sveta? And want anymore water… or food, Highground?” he asked.

Sveta stepped up to the plate right away.

“Aye, count me in fer strawberry!” she said.

Highground lifted a single palm to Fredrick and shook her head.

“I’m good. Thanks, though!” she said with a thankful smile.

Fred shot her a thumbs up. But, before he could confirm the order, there was a sudden, distinctly batpony ‘EEEE’ just to his right. Midnight forcefully inserted herself into the conversation with an almost crackhead-esque glowing radiance about her.

“I HEARD ‘MANGO!’ CAN I HAVE MANGO VODKA? PLEASE, FRED. PLEEEAAASE I NEED IT!” she nearly begged him, gripping him by the shoulders and peering directly into his soul with the force of someone that had an addiction.

Of course, he didn’t need any convincing.

“You got it, Midnight! The more the merrier!” he said, then nodded toward Vel.

She smiled and nodded back, then began preparing their next flight.

But, like the great friend she was, Fredrick heard Stella put forth her concerns.

“Uhhh, mate? Ya sure about three shots in like, six minutes, love? Yer the lightest weight out of fuckin’ all of us…”

But Midnight definitely wasn’t going to say no to mango, it seemed.

“Pshhhh! I’m fiiiine. Besides, it’s a party tonight! We’re supposed to get smashed… what’s the worst that could happen?” she asked.

Fredrick lightly flinched at hearing the last part of her sentence. It didn’t matter who it came from, but from his experience in Equestria and on this world, anypony saying that exact string of words was the harbinger of some… interesting times to come. Still fun and memorable, but perhaps not in the moment.

He already began the mental process of resetting the ‘No irl shitposting accidents in ___ days’ counter in his head. But, as he had said before, the more the merrier.

Right then, Vel had finished pouring their new round of shots and placed them in a line on the counter. Fredrick and company claimed their own.

Fredrick began the next toast, and Stella, Midnight, and Sveta raised their shot glasses in unison.

“Number two for us, and number three for Midnight… but who’s counting, right?” he quipped. “Cheers, gals!”

“Cheers!”

“Cheers!”

“Cheers!”

All four clinked their glasses together, and down the hatch it all went.

Everyone’s eyes went wide in pleasure… and then everyone winced in revulsion. It seemed par for the course when it came to vodka—flavored vodka no less.

Midnight was the first to break the silence after clicking her lips a couple times.

“Fuck me~, that tasted amaaazing for about two seconds... and then like shit all the way down,” she noted.

With residual disgust still written all over his face (despite the already warm feeling beginning to diffuse all over his body), Fredrick was more than inclined to agree with that assessment:

“I’ll say… that was the equivalent of putting ranch dressing on a dog turd.”

Stella piped up with her own observation—she didn’t appear to harbor any differing sentiment:

“Mate, no one actually likes vodka. People pretend tae like it so they don’t have tae feel bad fer drinkin’ just tae get drunk,” she said.

Sveta dared to be a contrarian with a lone finger raised:

“Oi! I actually kinda enjoyed that!”

Stella wasn’t convinced at all.

“Nae ya didn’t, cunt… quit tryin’ tae be different fer the sake of it. Suck me asspipe.”

“Fiiiine, it was shite.”

“That’s what I fuckin’ thought. But goddamn if it doesn’t get the fuckin’ job done, aye?” she asked slyly, rhetorically.

But then she eyed Fredrick with the face that knew fun times were coming.

“Now… we’re gonna do somethin’ special,” she alluded.

Everyone’s interest was peaked at that mention—even Midnight and Schnee, who were getting more visibly on the tipsier side.

Fredrick, however, felt the most interested with how Stella was practically undressing him with her eyes.

“Count me in! What do we need?” he asked.

Stella turned to Vel, who was likely listening in but was casually going about her business… so it seemed.

“Oi love, cold we get a double shot of Sapphire Cream Cutie, please?” she politely asked before turning to Fredrick with a glowing smile.

“We’re gonna do ‘The Tumbler,’” she announced.

Sveta giggled evilly… then went into a full-on laughing fit. Midnight squee’d with anticipation. Everyone else—including Fredrick—regarded one another with both confusion and intrigue.

Vel smirked… perhaps a bit too knowingly.

“Sure thing! Coming right up!”

Fredrick glanced back at Stella and locked eyes with her. With their gazes honed in on one another, he cocked his head, and there began another one of their instantaneous, yet wordless conversations. There was no magic involved… but they could just read each other like a book, despite Stella’s best efforts to retreat behind a facade once in a while.

What are you planning?

She lowered her eyelids.

Something you’ll love…~ Trust me.

Don’t I always?

Vel placed a double-shot of Northern Sap right on the counter, earning everypony’s attention.

“Go crazy, you two!”

Fredrick took a quick look around at everyone before inquiring further.

“Alright, I’ll bite… what the fuck’s ‘The Tumbler?’”

Stella was more than happy to explain:

“To put it simply…” she began. “I drop the entire shot in me mouth. Then, we make out. All the while, we shift the drink back and forth between each other’s mouths like a tumbler until we decide to split it and swallow… however long that takes.”

Fredrick was so down for this! Anything that let him attach his lips to hers was merely a means to an end, and he was one-hundred percent approving…

...unless he had to start kissing dudes for the privilege for some reason. Then he’d start asking some rather pertinent questions.

“Lets. Do. This,” he said excitedly.

All systems were a go, but Stella did have one more point to make:

“Oh, and as I’m sure you’re aware, don’t spit it out. As always, spitters are quitters.”

Sveta, Highground, and Midnight all nodded in unison.

“Aye.”

“Yup.”

“Such a waste…~”

Schneeblume also nodded.

“Natürlich,” she said with the slightest, tipsy edge to her voice.

Everyone almost decapitated themselves from how hard they turned towards the much smaller, adorable Flower Mare.

The former elite soldier shrugged and stared back at everyone in the group like they were the weird ones.

“What?” she asked. “You really expected me to slug it out in the trenches for four goddamn years and not get me a helping of some nice, ha—”

“OKAAAAY! Time for the Tumbler!” Fredrick interjected.

Everypony was a more-than-willing audience when Fredrick and Stella stood in front of one another. The batpony held the holy shot in her right hand, and carefully brought it to her mouth whilst never breaking eye contact with him.

To be fair, that was also because Fredrick got lost in her eyes, and for the briefest of moments forgot that they were gonna do something weird with alcohol.

Sveta’s voice brought them back to reality:

“Fuckin’ get on with it, lads! I wanna see this shit!” she said.

Much unlike Stella, she didn’t even rise to that, and instead Fredrick watched her dumped the contents of the shot glass into her mouth. He then watched as—with her mouth full—she reached forward, hooked her arm around his neck, and then brought his lips down to meet hers.

Fredrick heard the cheers of encouragement from all around the two of them. Hell, he could’ve also sworn that friggin’ Vel was in on this. It all became background noise as he let his eyes fall shut. He pressed his tongue forward as he had been instructed to do just a minute earlier—making out, after all. Their mouths opened internally to one another.

He felt a sudden rush of a familiar, if slightly warmer Northern Sap begin to drain into his mouth… especially as Stella placed her other hand onto his shoulder and gently willed him lower. Fredrick got the message, as in order for this to be a ‘tumbling’ motion, they had to exchange via gravity. The two of them were a few inches difference in size, so it made complete sense to his quickly inebriating mind.

Fredrick ran his palms over Stella’s exposed stomach… and then over her lower back, where his fingers found the rather unconventional prize that he loved so much: her back dimples. He ran the tips of his middle fingers over the prominent divots while he swirled the alcoholic liquid around in his mouth.

The familiar ‘oomph’ of said alcohol did well to warm his mouth, and the taste, though slightly diluted, was nonetheless as exquisite as he had come to expect from Stella’s drink of choice.

Fredrick slowly stood tall again, and the alcohol ‘tumbled’ back into Stella’s mouth, and the process began anew. What made this ‘round’ a little more sensuous was when Fredrick heard and felt Stella softly moaning as the alcohol made its way back into her mouth.

And that’s sort of when he lost himself in the moment. Fredrick felt that he was now just sharing a lovely moment with Stella… just with some extra steps. He wrapped his arms completely around her midsection and pulled her flush against him, which earned him a surprised but wholly welcoming squeak from his mare.

But as the challenge had dictated, both he and Stella kept the two shots of Northern Sap completely suspended and distributed between their mouths. Fredrick had pushed his tongue forward again, and Stella met him halfway with her own. There, their tongues soaked together in alcoholic bath as the two fell into a comfortable cadence… one that ensured that they didn’t drown themselves.

And as they fell deeper into the embrace of their emotions, they began to care less and less about their audience—completely forgot about it, even.

Fredrick only realized that they existed when he heard Sveta’s voice after an unknown amount of time:

“...fuck me, I think they’re actually just makin’ out now. Did they even swallow the goddamn alcohol?”

He also heard Midnight giggling furiously.

“Mmm… I call the next turn~!”

And then he heard a germanic voice say:

“Maybe we should give them some space…”

Highground seemed to agree with that sentiment.

“Yeah, good call. Let’s move down a smidge and give ‘em a minute…”

“Aye… or fuckin’ fifty.”

“Oh shush, you.”

That was totally fine by Fredrick. He and Stella really hadn’t had a proper moment with each other this evening. This would provide him a quick recharge to his social batteries so the night could continue as smoothly as possible.

Thankfully, Stella appeared to be on the same wavelength as him… if she gripping his neck harder and trying to fuse his face to hers was any indication at all.

And finally after what seemed like a few minutes of relative alone time, the two divvied up the alcohol and swallowed their share before separating fully. Fredrick didn’t open his eyes just yet… especially as he could still feel Stella’s heavy breathing breaking upon his face.

As did the pungent, yet in no way unpleasant smell of Northern Sap on her breath. He figured this development was no different for her.

Noses a fraction of an inch apart from one another, Fredrick opened his eyes and found those golden pools he loved to dive into for a swim, staring right back at him.

Stella was positively radiating.

“Heh… that was fuckin’ somethin’, love…~” she remarked dreamily.

Oh yes. It definitely was. Fredrick wasn’t so sure that those words were really powerful enough to convey a sudden upswell of a torrent of emotions within him. As had always transpired when he would just happen to even merely glance in Stella’s direction, the heart palpitations would return with a vengeance.

But good lord did his core feel light… that tickling sensation right behind his diaphragm of those ethereal butterflies were the most severe that he had in a very, very long time.

Perhaps it was the alcohol finally starting to get to him, and lowering his inhibitions while amplifying his emotions. Maybe it was this, combined with some extra thoughts given to Highground’s words back at the Steel Talon, as well...

And really, there was only a specific set of words that came to mind as a proper response:

“I love you, Stella…” he whispered.

He could survive alone on just seeing her light up while looking so innocently struck at whenever he put all of his feelings into words like that.

Stella softly pecked his lips… and then once more for good measure.

“I love you too, Fredrick… more than ye know… cunt,” she added with what Fredrick would consider equal sincerity.

He couldn’t ask for more from this mare in front of him.

Fred smirked.

“I hope you got everything you’ve wanted for your birthday so far, tonight,” he said, but suddenly had to belch into his hand when gas snuck up on him.

Oh yeah… those shots were starting to work their magic slowly but surely.

He then continued:

“And if we missed something… let me know and I’ll see what I can do.”

Stella smiled right back up at him, cutely cocked her head, and shook it gently. She also ran her hand through Fred’s hair… a feeling that he would be legitimately willing to kill for every time.

“I have you, mate. All of this is fuckin’ awesome, and I couldn’t ask fer anythin’ more… but I really only needed you in me life tonight,” she said.

Fredrick tactically kissed the top of her head to stave off the sudden urge to shed exactly three tears at those words. Before he could add to that, though, Stella continued:

“Oh, and I kinda lied. I could ask fer one more thing. Can we shag later?” she asked so hintingly, yet so matter-of-factly that Fredrick had to quell the urge to giggle.

“I’ll never say no to that,” he said.

Stella was quick to point out:

“Ya said no tae me tonight back in yer room. Ya fuckin’ swerved me!” she jokingly prodded, poking him in the side.

“Dude, we had guests coming over,” Fred so matter-of-factly pointed out.

“And…?” Stella replied, gazing up at him as if he was the weird one.

A familiar voice cut in from their immediate left:

“Oi, love-cunts!” Sveta called out, and earned both of their attentions, which reminded them that they still had somewhat of an audience that was enjoying the show… perhaps a little too much to be appropriate, but who was keeping score?

“If you two retards ‘re done gargling each other’s tonsils, I think we’d all like tae start dancing right about now before we get fuckin’ sober again!”

“Alright, alright. Calm yer fuckin’ tits, we’re finished now,” Stella replied.

“Oh there’ll probably be some fuckin’ tits, I’m sure…” her sister threw one last bit of allusion at her.

Stella, however, did not hide behind such allusions:

“Aye… and they won’t be yours.”

She turned back to Fredrick.

“Let’s continue this later, aye? Oh, and let’s take one more shot and get down with it!” she said to him.

And he was more than okay with both of those plans… and apparently Vel heard that loud and clear, since she dropped off two shots of pineapple vodka as she passed by on her merry way.

Fredrick smiled lustfully, then picked up one of the glasses while Stella did the same for hers. They clinked them together.

“You got it, toots. Now let’s go dance… because I know you want to. Or you’re friends are gonna leave us behind,” he said.

Stella nearly spilled the contents of her glass trying to stop herself from throwing her head back in laughter. He was glad she got the first-date reference.

“Aye, well this time me friends do dance… because if they didn’t dance well… they’re no fuckin’ friends of mine, laddie,” she said.

They tossed their shots back together and slammed them both empty glasses back on the countertop.

Fredrick clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth again… his opinion hadn’t changed in the slightest.

“Yep. That still tastes like pineapple coated shit.”

Though Stella seemed to be of the same opinion, she was much less concerned about the semantics of the drink as opposed to ushering the both of them onto the dance floor.

“Aye, but as I said, it gets the fuckin’ job done right, innit?” she said, then nearly yanked him off of his stool.

Fredrick barely had time to recover from his tipsy stumble before Stella had already grabbed his hand and was tugging him towards the music… as well as trying to catch up with the rest of their group who had already begun sauntering towards said dance floor.

“Jesus Christ, Stella, I’m coming right behind you, holy shit… slow down,” he remarked.

In hindsight, he should’ve expected the return quip from her, filled to the brim with sexual impropriety:

“Well don’t fuckin’ tell me exactly what you’ll be sayin’ later tonight… right when ya fuckin’ blast rope over me arse, love! At least put some effort in the surprise!”

Fredrick added with no shortage of sarcasm dripping from his face hole:

“Oh, har-dee fucking har har. I totally didn’t see that one coming.”

Stella’s white teeth gleamed back at him over her shoulder.

“I’ll see you coming tonight,” she said.

Fredrick deadpanned. He figured it was best to leave it at that.

And after nearly tripping on the edge of the slightly-raised hardwood, the entire group finally made it with no no problems up to this point…

...other than the gradual drunkenness that beset them collectively. But that was the whole point anyway, so it wasn’t really a problem, per se. No one was gonna die of alcohol poisoning tonight—not on Highground’s watch.

Speaking of which…

Fredrick spared a look around his immediate personal space, and other than Stella still guiding him through the small lake of ponies trying to boogie it on, the scarlet-maned, off-duty police officer was indeed nowhere in sight. A quick glance back towards the bar solved that Hardy Boys-grade mystery—Miss Moral Highground was keeping her ever watchful eye on the group from the bar.

Fredrick smirked knowingly when she locked onto his questioning gaze. Snacking on what seemed like a small bowl of assorted fruit from a distance in the relative darkness, she pointed directly at him, smirked back, and nodded.

She was fine where she was. He just wanted to make sure that she didn’t feel excluded at all.

Per that single look she gave him from across the floor, all he had to do was enjoy himself with the birthday mare and the rest of the group… something he had already been—and was keen on continuing—doing.

Fredrick then felt a soft, warm, familiar hand on his cheek… a hand which physically turned his face to look upon its owner. That’s when he found Stella grinning—flashing her fangs at him as she took both his hands and placed them on the sides of her midriff.

“Can we fuckin’ dance, now, cunt?” she so ‘cutely’ asked, her hips already starting to bounce and sway to… whatever song was currently playing. She also sealed the deal when she put both of her hands on Fred’s shoulders, effectively sealing off any exit, should he have tried to find a way out.

But that would’ve never happened. If there was one thing early on that Fredrick unexpectedly enjoyed, it was dancing with this mare…

...even more so now that the two were together after all this time.

He beamed right back at her.

“Well I guess you better start leading us… or I will. And we both know how that’s gonna end,” he playfully warned.

To which Stella exaggeratedly shuddered.

“Fair point lad… Fair point. Now, where were we?” she asked impishly.

And so, Fredrick was whisked away on another dancing experience with Stella. Though, this time was distinctly different with the addition of three other mares joining the fray. With his hands already having a head start on Stella’s body, it didn’t take much work for the couple—face to face—to get themselves into a rhythm that worked for both of them, and for the music in question…

...though really, the music was an afterthought. White noise.

And as he held Stella’s toned stomach in his hands and let his eyes not only lock onto hers, but occasionally roam over her swaying form, the rest of their group also became somewhat of an afterthought. What helped this along—usually when Stella and Fredrick would separate from their little dance and circle one another—were the servers making their rounds with platters of drinks.

Each one of them had various shots of alcohol. Fredrick would grab one for him and Stella every time one of them made their way past, and the two would have a shot together before getting right back to boogying it up.

“Ahhh…” Stella exhaled after slamming back another pineapple vodka shot with him. Fredrick had lost count of which number she was on.

“That flavor never gets old… or changes. But lemme tell ye something else that never changes…!” she shouted over the music.

Fredrick smiled all-bubbly back at her, especially when he could hear the telltale, slightest slurring around the edges of her still-coherent words. She was past the point of tipsy for sure.

But to be completely fair, so was he. A quick glance around the room before he delivered his response showed him that his connection to life certainly had a little extra ping to it. And goddamn, everything just seemed so awesome… so much so it actually hurt to smile.

“Tell me, babe… what never gets old?” he dared to ask. He knew whatever Stella was going to say was gonna be fantastic. It had always been that way, and would always be that way. It was just the nature of the universe with her.

“Ya still dance like a fuckin’ queer!” she said, which immediately made herself laugh… which then morphed into an even harder laugh because alcohol.

But just as Fredrick had expected, her words were gold. As well, and perhaps thanks also to alcohol, he had somewhat of a moderately unfunny quip to that:

“Hey, I’m just imitating that one song, though…” he said.

Stella took the bait.

“Wh—what fuckin’ song?” she asked.

“The one that has those very lyrics: ‘You are the dancing queeeeer…’”

It was dumb enough to be effective while essentially drunk, because Stella ate it up completely.

“FUCKIN’... PFFT!” and then she launched into straight-up Joker-level cackling.

He sure as shit didn’t think it was that funny, but he’d never say no to genuine gut-busting laughter from his marefriend… a mare that made him nearly piss himself laughing every day that he had known her.

Stella took a minute to recover from that, but quickly opened her arms and gestured into her embrace.

“God fuckin’ damnit, Fred I love you so goddamn fuckin’ much! Come back here!” she said with an extra slurring of her expletives.

Fredrick giggled all high-pitched at that, but totally cool by him. Whatever got Stella’s gorgeous body back in his arms.

Time was meaningless now. All that really mattered to Fredrick was seeing Stella smiling as powerfully as she was at him right now. Seeing those eyes glow at him with a sparkling, glinting love that had never diminished since they first became an item—rather, it became more powerful… more profound with every little loving gesture that they had bestowed upon one another.

As for the rest of the group, they popped right back into existence when Sveta playfully danced her way in and ‘bumped’ Stella out of the way with her butt.

“Mind if I squeeze in with you turds?” she asked, the new trio quickly began dancing around one another.

Stella feigned annoyance, but was clearly happy to have her sister around.

“Fuck’s sake, lass… I let you fuck him once and suddenly yer all inserting yerself everywhere! Pun completely intended, by the way,” she said.

Fredrick, of course, didn’t mind Sveta joining in the slightest. In fact, it allowed him to catch his breath as the two Sabre sisters passively linked arms and circled one another. Like with Stella, he was also able to detect the slightest bit of slurring her words. Also much like her sister, whenever alcohol entered her system en masse, she appeared to really accentuate the “r’s” in her vocabulary.

“Well, firstly, it was four times in one night. At least let me have that fer the record, twat.

“Secondly, I would just give ye some space after yer matin’ display back at the bar… but I’d much rather not cuntstunt those two over there…” she said, motioning towards whence she came.

Fredrick and Stella both followed Sveta’s hand and found Midnight and Schneeblume putting the three of them to absolute shame.

From the display in front of him, he might as well have been watching one of those old movies where everyone was dressed all dapper and dancing like absolute mad cunts. Because that’s exactly what he was seeing in front of him—indescribable, yet perfectly coordinated swinging.

In conjunction with the over one-foot height disparity between these mares, and just how (being completely honest with himself) hot these two gals looked, they had already drawn a small crowd. Fredrick was also kind of a fan of how the edges of Schnee’s summer dress floated whenever she made any sharp movement, or twirled.

Oh, and they were beaming at each other, and laughing all the while. Fred was stunned silly.

“Dude…” he voiced. “...they’re perfectly matching each other. Fuck’s sake are they even drunk?!”

Stella pointed casually at Midnight… right as the mare in question dipped the former soldier down low to obnoxious giggling.

“Nae, mate. Midnight’s fuckin’ gone. She’s deceptively lightweight, but still somehow coherent in some manner. Schnee doesn’t look tae be any better, though… what do ya think, Svet’?”

Sveta seemed more than happy to point out what was obvious to her.

“Schnee’s gashed tae hell, mate. Don’t ask me how they’re that goddamn coordinated—that’s fuckin’ magic if I’ve ever seen any. And there’s actual fuckin’ unicorns here.”

While the music still blared and others around them continued to dance, Fredrick stood there with his right arm around Stella’s waist and Sveta on his left. They had no shortage of entertainment from the duo before them… and they just wouldn’t quit despite how tired and sweaty they looked under the technicolor lighting.

Fredrick decided to ask what, deep down, he felt might’ve been an obvious question:

“They’re gonna bone, aren’t they?”

“Oh fuckin’ totally, love. They’re goin’ spelunkin’.”

“Mate, I’d be surprised if they don’t end up with their legs wrapped around each other’s faces. Shit, I’d actually be mad if they don’t.”

“Jesus Christ, you two…” Fred wheezed.

“Hey twat, you’re the one who was thinkin’ it… though I don’t really blame ye. It is kind of a nice thought~,” Stella so graciously reminded, and teased.

Fredrick tilted his head down towards Stella, not sure what he expected out of her.

“Fantasizing about two friends getting it on? Really?”

“Oh fuck right off—don’t fuckin’ tell me you wouldn’t want a front-row seat tae that main attraction, ya poof!”

Fred couldn’t really argue with that.

“Meh, fair point. As long as you’re there with popcorn,” he said.

“You know I would be~.”

Sveta’s voice cut in from Fredrick’s immediate left… and it certainly didn’t sound like she was talking to either him or Stella.

“Mate, can ya please fuck off before I slap yer shit! Somehow you didn’t get the message the first goddamn time—I’m not fuckin’ interested!”

Fredrick spared a questioning look at Stella, who seemed to harbor the exact same thoughts as him. They both turned around and saw Sveta stepping away—annoyed—from another (likely similarly inebriated) batpony stallion who was trying to dance rather intimately with her.

From his point of view, the offending stallion—orange-maned and a coat color grayer than Stella’s—had finally gotten the message. He stopped trying to intrude on Sveta’s personal space and had backed off, hands slightly in the air.

“Alright, alright… easy there, sheila, that’s all ya had to say,” he said, clearly from wherever this world’s version of Australia was.

“I didn’t fuckin’ think me movin’ away from you every goddamn time you tried was that complicated tae understand?”

Fredrick didn’t know the full context of the situation… but in contrast to him, Stella apparently didn’t need to. All she saw was her sister annoyed with someone who was trying (and failing) to hit on her, and not respecting her personal space. The latter part was kind of a big deal regardless, but even so, he knew his mare well—Stella cared little in the way of fact finding when it came to those close to her.

That’s all she needed to see. And Fredrick knew exactly what was coming… especially when he glanced at Stella and saw her features darken immediately.

Oh fuck…

She pointed right at the offending batpony and then pointed in some random direction. From Fred’s point of view, the poor sod looked like a small animal in a searchlight. Even more so when she began stomping towards him.

“You. Fuck right off, right now… or I’ll actually gouge yer fuckin’ eyes out, cut yer nuts out, and put yer fuckin’ balls in yer eye holes and yer eyes in yer fuckin’ bawbag… you fuckin’ dribble of stagnant yak piss!” she threatened.

That stopped a lot of ponies from dancing, and shifted the audience attention elsewhere. It even got Midnight’s and Schnee’s attention.

Another batpony mare—crimson coat, navy-blue mane, golden eyes—slid in from the crowd and made quickly to intervene by placing herself between the two. The moment she opened her mouth, Fredrick could discern that the identical accents meant she and the nameless, previously-offending stallion knew each other. Alcohol also seemed to be an edge on everypony’s words, which explained a lot to him.

“Whoa whoa… what the hell’s going on here, mate?”

Stella answered on behalf of everypony else and made exactly zero attempt to hide her mirth:

“Not much, lass—just lettin’ yer arse-rammer here know that if he even looks at me sister again, I’m gonna demonstrate how his kneecaps are a privilege and not a right. Would you kindly spread the message tae all of Thestralia?”

To say that the newcomers looked personally attacked would be an understatement—probably because they were being personally attacked. Stella tended to have that ability nailed down to a T.

“Okay, okay… we fuckin’ get it. I’d stop spoutin’ off if you know what’s good for you,” the nameless batpony mare threatened, and through the ever present darkness, her eyes seemed to flare right at Stella.

Again, Fredrick knew his mare well. He knew that she was more than capable of handling herself in any potential fight… especially against normal civvies, who likely didn’t even know that she was a soldier (among other soldiers in her group). Even so, he never really found appealing the idea of Stella actually—potentially—getting seriously hurt.

Especially after she became his marefriend. But more than that even, this was her birthday night. Why throw it all away for a pointless kerfuffle?

So even through the drunken veil, he decided to voice his concern:

“Alright babe, I think you made your point crystal clear. Let’s get some more drinks, okay?” he ventured to offer, placing his hand around her waist to attempt to lure her (and Sveta) away from conflict.

To Stella’s credit, she physically seemed receptive to that, and willing to back off with her sister in tow so they could resupply.

However, Fredrick wasn’t exactly caught on guard with the newcomer thestral mare’s off-handed comment:

“Damn mate, you’re with her? Poor bastard—I actually feel bad for you.”

Fredrick couldn’t remember the last time that his amygdala was tickled in such a way where it made him irrationally angry.

Oh FUCK no.

Running on alcohol, adrenaline, and reflex, Fredrick uncharacteristically took a page out of Stella’s playbook and pointed straight at the snide mare:

“Hey! You shut your goddamn, whore mouth... you dumb fucking cunt!” he yelled.

He didn’t even notice Stella, nor Sveta’s faces jerk towards him in complete astonishment after he uttered those words… so much so that they briefly forgot the situation at hand.

The crimson batpony of Fredrick’s mirth appeared to not expect that reaction out of him:

“Excuse me?” she dared ask.

Yet another batpony stallion—incredibly blue to the coat—made himself known from the ambient darkness. His mauve-colored eyes locked death onto Fredrick.

“Oi mate, what the fuck did you just say, you little shitbucket?” the slightly taller, but somewhat more built newcomer threatened with a rhetorical question.

Not that Fredrick cared, and he was happy to return the look… and the words.

“Maybe your thot’s hard of hearing and needs to clean the cum out of her ears, so I’ll tell you instead!” he began anew, assuming the quick defense was because these two were together.

He also didn’t even realize that he took on a Stella insult out of pure reflex.

“Shut your goddamn, whore mouth… you dumb fucking cunt. You wanna fuckin’ do something about it?”

Three things happened simultaneously that Fredrick became aware of. Firstly, he noticed Highground out of the corner of his eye immediately setting course for them. Secondly, the group of three Thestralians looked collectively taken aback by Fredrick’s outburst. And thirdly, and he wasn’t sure about this… but he could’ve sworn that he heard Stella moan almost sexually once the words left his mouth.

The really blue batpony regained his bearings, and cracked the knuckles on his right hand. Fredrick knew a determined look when he saw one… one itching for a fight.

And at that moment, he didn’t particularly care if they were. From that off-handed comment about Stella, and despite his lack of experience in—and natural fear of—getting into many fist-fights, he was completely ready to accept a potential ass-kicking for Stella.

The blue batpony advanced on him while quite plainly threatening him:

“I’m gonna knock out every fuckin’ one of yer teeth, you snivelling little cunt,”.

Fredrick balled his fists in preparation for anything… but Stella instead pushed him behind her and stared down the newcomer, who stopped dead in his tracks.

She gestured very animatedly with her hands:

“Mate… it makes me sad the Anglomanes didn’t crush yer little rebellion all those years ago. Because maybe… just maybe if they squashed you lot of inbred chicken fuckers under their boots, they’d’ve taught you some fuckin’ manners, you cunts!”

Highground entered the scene with both her hands out and extended, then carefully interjected:

“Okaaaaaay okay, that’s enough out of both of you. Lock it goddamn down. Stella, Fred, Sveta, let’s get back to the bar…” she offered a way out.

Unfortunately, Stella’s words seemed to had already pressed the right sequence of buttons. The Thestralian mare and the original offending stallion quickly joined their friend… who was inches from Stella’s face.

“Oh yeah?” the nameless, crimson mare began anew. “How ‘bout we show you just how we won?”

A new voice entered the pseudo arena over Fredrick and Stella’s shoulder… one that belonged to a much more imposing creature.

“Hehe… you three Thestralians are so cute when you try to sound threatening,” she said, giggling evilly.

Fredrick glanced over his shoulder and found a stoic, furrowed Midnight glaring down their opposition.

And she added invitingly, yet gleefully threatened:

“Go ahead! Swing! First one gets a grand prize of getting put through one of those big tables over there…”

She pointed towards the seating area.

“Don’t threaten me with a good time!” the larger of the Thestralian stallions replied… which seemed a bit odd, even to Fredrick’s drunk mind.

Highground again pleaded for reason.

“Guys! Please… you drunk assholes, don’t rise to this shit. Come on!”

Stella turned to Fredrick as she continued pushing him back, and also gestured open-palmed to Sveta.

“Fred… take Sveta and stay back. I don’t want you two getting hurt.”

Fredrick almost felt offended at that.

“Fucking… what?! Fuck that shit, not after what that snide bitch said!” he protested.

“PLEASE!” Stella implored, then gestured backward. “Keep me sister safe. Go.”

“And?? You’re friggin’ outnumbered now if they start shit!” he again attempted to reason with her. Plus, he could see other batponies that looked itching to get in on this—likely friends of the current three in front of them.

A Germanic voice cut in:

“No. They’re not.”

A smol Schneeblume took Fredrick’s place and stepped up to the plate. Despite her being the shortest one of everypony (potentially) involved, she took no issue in glaring daggers at the Thestralian mare.

And the dark tone of her words betrayed the Alemaneian mare’s unassuming presence.

“I’d advise you get a leash on both of your lap-hounds right now,” she said.

“Yeah? Or what, little mare? You gonna do something about it?”

Schneeblume took a fearless step forward, and barely left a single inch between her and the offending mare… even if she had to look up at her.

“Ja… or I’ll take that leash and wring your scrawny fucking necks with it, Fotze.”

Highround tried a third time to weasel in words without provoking anyone. Fredrick figured that she didn’t physically try to restrain anyone, lest the other party attempt to strike first:

“Girls! Please! Dont’!”

But that was all she was able to get out in time. The nameless mare shoved Schnee backwards.

“Then fuckin’ do something, cunt!”

Fredrick watched as Schnee wordlessly responded by stepping back forward… and then slamming her balled up, ceramic fist into this poor mare’s face. He heard the impact—two, actually:

The impact to her face… and then the impact of her being unceremoniously flattened onto her back with the sheer power of Schnee’s punch.

“JESUS CHRIST!” erupted from his mouth from just the shock value of what he just witnessed.

He straight up watched a cute, petite mare in a summer dress obliterate someone’s nose into the shadow realm. What was reality anymore?

Chaos ensued.

Remembering what Stella entrusted him with, he grabbed Sveta’s hand and wrapped his other arm protectively around her shoulders. Even the crowd had the right idea, and uneasily began giving the now-belligerents some space.

“Fucking hell… Sveta, let’s get back!”

“Aye… righteo!”

And while he brought Stella’s sister and good friend of his back from the splash zone, he took every liberty to see how this would all play out.

After Schnee had gracefully incapacitated the offending mare, the left-most stallion (the super-blue one) swooped in to try and land a hit on her… and it looked like he was about to, even though she was ready and waiting to defend herself. Nevertheless, Fredrick winced in anticipation.

Midnight, however, clotheslined him by the neck just in time with her entire arm, stopping him in his tracks. What made Fred wince a second time was when this unit of a mare drove her right fist into his stomach once…

...twice…

...thrice…

...four goddamn times.

All the while, Fredrick caught sight of Stella having set her sights on the offending stallion who started this with her sister. She straight up planted her hoof in his dick with deadly results… evident by the sudden, comically wide-eyed face as he was about to double over.

Didn’t even try to kick him in the balls—literally just kicked the dude straight in the tubesteak.

Fredrick’s eyes flicked back to Midnight at that moment, and he saw her get behind her unfortunate target and restrain him by his arms. His entire front was now completely exposed… and the human again questioned reality as Schneeblume took this opening to drive an elbow into the sod’s already-destroyed abdomen, ejecting dribble and spittle from his mouth as a result.

Only then did Midnight make good on her previous threat by dragging him away to his fate, hoisting him up like a giant pillow, and then launching him onto a designated table… which snapped under the force.

He then witnessed Stella perform some Lunar Guard special forces wizardry by flipping her victim over her shoulder and hard onto his back… and then promptly stomped his nuts again.

Fred also found Highround looking to be at her wits end, and her eyes darted back and forth as she seemed to desperately look for an opening. Though, interestingly, her concern seemed to be placed on the fates of the mere mortals who dare challenged their squad. That’s when Fredrick had a revelation:

Highground wasn’t trying to stop a fight in the hopes of avoiding injury to her friends. She was trying to stop a one-way massacre by three actual soldiers.

“Oh my fucking god!” he exclaimed at the slaughter.

“Yeah! Fuckin’ show those cunts!” Sveta cheered from the sidelines.

Three more batponies entered the bout. Fredrick could immediately tell they weren’t friendly!

“Guys!” he called out, but his gals had already seen them.

Schneeblume was the first to greet them, and though he couldn’t hear any dialogue over the commotion, he could hear her gesticulations: her double ‘come hither’ motions with both of her hands was palatable.

They took the bait, and—after expertly dodging a roundhouse kick—she delivered the most perfect uppercut he had ever seen, video or otherwise, that sent the dude’s chin into the stratosphere. Damn-near kickstarted the Equestrian space program.

Fredrick reached out in reflex, mouth open to scream a warning as the other two newcomers descended upon Schnee’s turned-back.

There was no need—Stella and Midnight arrived to the rescue simultaneously.

Stella came up behind the shorter one and engaged him in a sleeper hold whilst dragged him to the ground. Midnight brought an actual chair with her from the table she destroyed. She then promptly destroyed said chair on the third lad’s upper back, flattening him onto his front.

These girls had laid out six ponies in the span of about forty seconds.

Absolute mad lasses.

Things took an immediate turn from the hilariously awe-inspiring, to the actual worst.

The crimson Thestralian mare who Schnee had flattened with a haymaker was back on her shaky hooves, blood streaming down the lower half of her face. With a teeth-baring glare that could kill, she upped the ante when she found an empty beer bottle, broke the end off, and pointed it directly at Schneeblume.

That’s when Fredrick actually felt his breath hitch in his throat, and his stomach drop.

Schnee, to her credit, looked completely unconcerned… though her own death-glare intensified. If Fredrick didn’t know any better, the tiny mare would actually kill this pony.

Highground—having found her opening—intervened out of nowhere, and completely knocked the revived mare to the ground with a powerful stomping kick to her shoulder. The broken bottle was still in her hand.

“Alright that’s ENOUGH!” Highground shouted with such intensity and furor that the melee train was stopped in its tracks.

She pointed three fingers at Stella, Midnight, and Schneeblume.

“You three idiots. Let’s go. We’re leaving,” she decreed.

And then she pointed at the recovering batpony mare with the broken bottle in her hand. The dancing had all but stopped by this point, as well as the music.

“And you. Drop it. Now.”

The nameless mare showed no signs of doing so. With blood still dribbling out of her mangled nose and mouth, she aimed the jagged bottle bottom at Highground.

“Yeah? How ‘bout I carve yer fuckin’ face up before I gut that bitch in the dress over there?” she threatened.

Schnee had to be physically restrained by Midnight.

Fredrick watched in disbelief as Highground just ignored her and—like the absolute chad that she was—turned back towards the group.

“Fred,” she addressed him. “Get us squared away with the bill and let’s get the fuck outta here.”

“Yes Ma’am,” he replied, and he moved to head back towards the bar.

“OI, CUNT!” he then heard over his shoulder... he just had to look back.

The same batpony mare was stomping toward Highround, broken bottle raised.

“I’m fuckin’ talking to ya!”

Highground rolled her eyes and with one smooth motion, reached into her jacket, retrieved her pistol, cocked the hammer, and leveled it right at her would-be assailant’s bloody head.

To say everyone gave her a wide breadth of room would be an understatement. Again, Fredrick had to collect his jaw from the floor… all while curiously wondering why nopony was running at the sight of a firearm. The rest of the girls were varying degrees of fazed by their ‘responsible adult’ for the night.

“You don’t fuckin’ listen, do ya?” Highground asked rhetorically. “Canterlot Police. Drop it, or I’ll blow your goddamn head off.”

The jagged bottle was dropped quite promptly.

Highground gazed back at Fredrick and gestured towards the bar with a tilt of her muzzle.

Fred didn’t need to be told again. He sailed towards the bar, and towards a waiting Vel, who seemed quite wide-eyed at the situation… though perhaps not as much as Fredrick would’ve figured.

“Well… this has been an interesting night…” she said.

He wasn’t even gonna ask questions.

“Yeah… I’ll say. What do I owe you?”

“Two twenty-six, thirty five.”

Fredrick counted the bills in his wallet… then happened to glance at the table and the chair… on top of the mess that was left as collateral damage from the one-minute scuffle.

He handed four-hundred bits to the lovely bartender.

“Keep the change. Thanks for your patience tonight, Vel,” he said.

“W-Wow! And eh, happens all the time. Thank you for the ehm… entertainment.”

He was drunk enough to laugh at that.

“Hah! Don’t mention it… and fuck, happens all the time? Shit I have some questions now.”

Vel batted her eyelashes at him.

“Well, how ‘bout you bring yourself and your mare back sometime and I’ll do a nice Q&A with you?” she asked.

Highground, imperious and with pistol still in her right hand, did well to herd all her cats out of the establishment.

“Let’s go, gals… and Fredrick!” she said, gesturing towards the door.

He was already in motion, and let his feet carry him away.

“See ya! Thanks again! And sorry… again!” he called back on his way out.

Stella and Sveta filed out first, then Midnight and Schneeblume. Fredrick gave HG a nice tap on the shoulder right before he stepped back out into the night air to rejoin his evening crew.

And that’s when Highground shut the door behind her. Fredrick watched her eyes shift around their immediate area whilst sheathing her pistol stealthily back into her jacket.

She then turned to everyone:

“Let’s start power-walking. Now.”

All obeyed—silence all the while.

With Fredrick and Highground having led the way, the group put some distance between themselves and Echo’s so they could re-establish their anonymity within the Canterlot nightlife. This was easily done after only just a few blocks. The only sound being the heavy breathing coming from everypony from the still-present drunken adrenaline boost that could fuel a nuclear reactor… and the ambient noise of the city life.

That’s when they stopped to catch their breaths… and Fredrick took quick stock of everypony around him for good measure. No one seemed to be injured in the slightest from the rumble, apart from the smallest scrapes or bruises (he inferred)… or just drunken shenanigans in general.

All were in one piece.

And that’s when everyone started sharing tentative looks with one another. While no words were exchanged over the last few seconds of standing around, the silent conversations were still plenty loud.

The ridiculousness of it all began to well up within Fredrick. With his still impaired mind, this was even further amplified. All these feelings of ‘what the fuck’ began to build in his core to the point where his stomach tickled…

...and then he emitted a high-pitched giggle.

It was a sentiment echoed by Stella, who gladly shared in the little giggle… and then Sveta.

And then Midnight.

And Schnee.

And even Highground.

All the sniggering eventually broke the communal dam. Feeding off of each other’s emotions, they all collectively lost the entirety of what remained their shit.

Fredrick could barely stand—he had to put his hands on his knees for support as he howled with unbridled, drunken laughter. His chest physically hurt. His lungs burned, and his eyes overflowed with tears down his cheeks. That urge to laugh refused to abate, and it was made even worse by the contagious cadre of cackling cunts that nearly fell upon him, all trying to support themselves lest they fall to the streets.

“What the FUCK just happened?!” Fredrick squeaked out.

Stella was in the exact same straits as him.

“I DON’T FUCKIN’ KNOW, MATE! THAT WAS AMAZING!”

“Schee… SCHNEE!” Sveta was able to huff out, barely. “You fuckin’ ANNIHILATED that cunt! PFFFT I’ve never seen… HAH!... Anythin’ more beautiful in me life!”

Midnight could barely talk.

“HAAHAHAHA! THE BEST… HAH… NIGHT. EVER PFFTT!” she was able to eke out before losing her valiant battle to her own laughter.

Schnee was just as worse for wear as everpony else:

“Mein GOTT! That’s the most… PFFT HAH!... Most fun in a fiGHT I’ve HAD!”

She promptly fell into another giggling fit, one in which Midnight was more than happy to share in. They fell into each other’s embrace.

Fredrick shakily stood back up while he clutched his aching chest, doing his damned best to force air into his dry lungs.

“Wheeeeew… fuck! Holy shit I think… heh… I think that’s the hardest I’ve laughed in my entire life…”

He glanced up at a recovering Highground.

“You… actually pulled heat on somepony!” he noted.

She attempted to be serious… but failed miserably at it. Just by her eyes though, Fredrick knew to interpret her next words with at least a modicum of attention.

“Just… had to make sure that Schnee over here didn’t legit kill someone in self defense. You’re all goddamn idiots, by the way.

“But apart from that. I kindly ask that you lot please keep what you saw... to yourself?”

The nod was instantaneous and simultaneous. Everypony took a moment to address her seriously, without a fraction of hilarity on their features (as best as they could while all calmed down).

Stella answered on behalf of everypony:

“Oh yer no fuckin’ fun… but fiiiine. Secret’s safe with us, mate. But now…”

She turned to Fredrick.

“Can we go tae The Library now?”

Fredrick beamed.

“I’m totally good with that…” he said, before turning to the rest of their group. “As long as y’all haven’t had enough excitement for one night?”

Again, the response was instantaneous, simultaneous… and unanimous:

“Fuck that, mate. Let’s head on over! I’m thirstier than a fuckin’ mare in heat in the desert,” Sveta said.

“I’m always up for more adventure…~” Midnight added.

“Yeahhhh sure. Gotta get some hydration into you tards anyways,” Highground noted.

Schnee voiced with the cutest squee that nearly made Fred go into a seizure.

“Ja! Water, definitely! And karaoke!”

Fredrick pointed straight down the sidewalk.

“Then, this way, my good mares! Let’s go!”

And as the group of them fell into a natural step and began their comfortable trek towards The Library, Stella decided to ask Fredrick something very important:

“Hey love? What’s a ‘thot?’”

Next Chapter: 26. Bar Crawl | Part 3 | Drunk Words, Sober Thoughts Estimated time remaining: 8 Hours, 36 Minutes