Splitting this off on it's own from the rest of the 'original chapter'--RADICALLY different themes

The sex was spectacular.

Not that it had never been spectacular at any point during their relationship… but as Fredrick lay in bed, eyelids heavy and laden with fatigue at the ceiling for the second time today, he felt it was worth mentally noting this time around for a number of reasons.

Namely, his mind was awash in the sheer volume of passion that they—more so Stella—had bestowed upon one another. Fredrick couldn’t remember a time other than their absolute first time together that such raw, unbridled feeling for one another had come out full force.

It was like the two of them had been away for a long while. In some sense, perhaps that was the case.

Just thinking about it was making him smile… but even more than that, even after all the ball-busting intercourse the two had just had, these thoughts were stirring his loins again. Fredrick was internally floored at the very concept that his dick had any life in it by this point… drained of all essence by the vampire that was Stella’s vagina…

…and face.

…and tits.

…and stomach.

…and asscheeks.

But most importantly—for Fredrick at least—was that these thoughts of passion for the mare lying next to him not only made his actual peepee hard. It also made the peepee of his heart throb like a broken arm after a long night of Olympic-grade anal fisting and sphincter curling.

And he felt that heart throbbing become so much more pronounced when he realized that he was still holding Stella’s right hand in his left. That’s when he had lost all control of the smile that broke out on his face, and through the windows of his tired eyes, he knew that all was right with the world.

Perhaps Stella’s literal hour-long stint as a stallion made him—on some odd level—appreciate more of what he had?

Fredrick then let his head fall limply, where his left cheek lay on his pillow so he could have a look at his beauty of a marefriend.

He felt his stomach drop slightly when he realized that Stella not only wasn’t looking back at him but did not seem to harbor nearly the same sentiment that he did. In fact, she was just… staring—staring straight at the ceiling with a seemingly blank expression. It was a stoicism that he had rarely seen from her… only during formal Guard events.

Uh oh…

Fredrick felt it was high-time to break the now-unnatural silence. He was well-aware it would be some bad juju to know something was up with the mare that he loved and not act on it.

“Hey… you okay, Stella?”

Stella angled her head toward him after half a second and locked her eyes with his. She managed a half-smile before turning back towards the ceiling and nestling her naked body further in her sanctuary of bedsheets. Part of her golden gaze was masked by her now-unkempt mane.

“I’m fine, mate. Cheers fer askin’.”

Fredrick deadpanned. That sentence right there—more ‘formal’ than she had ever been since they first met—was a second red flag.

He propped his head up with his elbow and figuratively nudged his way into her line of sight. He knew that simply inquiring on her thoughts when she would retreat behind her mental defenses would get him nowhere. He had to rap repeatedly on the door to her mind.

“We were doing so well… and after all this time you’re gonna start going soft and not tell me the truth straight-up, babe?”

Fredrick knew that distinctive eye-roll from her. The sudden appearance of her snaggle-fang and the prominence of her literal tongue-in-cheek—she had just been called out and did not like it one bit. What he didn’t anticipate, however, was Stella untangling her hand from his—having suddenly severed their silent little connection.

“Could ya not do this, love? I don’t fuckin’ appreciate it right now,” Stella said.

Fredrick recoiled slightly—that certainly wasn’t the string of words he was expecting from her… especially with the sheer force of annoyance behind them.

“Well then…” he prefaced, making no effort to veil his sarcastic front to his offense.

“I don’t particularly appreciate the sudden attitude when I’m trying to just see why you’re obviously upset… but that’s okay,” he said, then shrugged as he lay back down fully.

“UGH!” Stella exclaimed, to which she promptly followed up with:

“Fuck. OFF. Mate!”

Fredrick watched with absolutely no amusement as Stella let her balled-up fists fall limply on either side of her.

He cocked an eyebrow.

“Ummm… what?”

Stella then raised her voice.

“Just!” Stella said with a pointed finger straight at the ceiling before staying her temper just a bit.

“…let it go, love…” she finished through clenched teeth.

Fredrick was completely flabbergasted, now. For a good long while today, the two were in the throes of passion—eyes never leaving their locks on one another as they put every ounce of love that they had into the act.

Though completely in the dark and wholly blindsided by Stella’s emotional about-face, he had enough sense about him to approach this with caution:

“Stella… where the hell is this coming from?” he dared to ask.

He watched and waited for some type of answer… but again, Stella retreated into her form and went uncharacteristically silent. He did notice one extra detail this time around, though—he started seeing those wide eyes of hers misting over.

And from what he could read of her this far into their relationship, all Fredrick could see (and sense) was indecisiveness.

No anger.

No malice.

No sadness, even.

Just pure frustration. Confusion… a rare instance of her seemingly not knowing what to do with herself.

Fredrick had been waiting for an answer with bated breath for several seconds by this point… again, another red flag considering Stella was right on point—tip of the spear—with a witty insult. Hell, she always had to have the first foray into conversation.

Now, Fredrick may not have been a wise man. But he now had some inclination that something was bothering Stella on a deeper level than he had thought previously.

Well… no fucking shit.

Stella locked eyes with him again, and she suddenly adopted a deer-in-the-headlights complexion. To Fredrick, it seemed that he maybe was not supposed to see that from that ever prideful marefriend of his.

Before he could go into full protective boyfriend mode, Stella swung her legs from under the covers and sat on the edge of the bed.

Away from him.

Instantly, he was reminded of the ‘incident’ that they had a few months prior—when they had been visiting her family that week. He was reminded of that ‘look’ she had the moment she came out of that vivid nightmare of… whatever she was having.

Things suddenly seemed very… related.

He crossed his legs lotus-style on the bed and faced Stella, even if she wouldn’t face him.

“You know I’m not gonna let this go, right?” he asked rhetorically, then shook his head.

“Not this time.”

Fred saw Stella visibly tense up at that, especially as he saw her naked, powerful back muscles contract.

But finally, she spoke over her shoulder, and the seething venom she spewed could probably kill half of Equestria.

“Fredrick… I’m warning you… It’s not yer fuckin’ business,” she said, balling her fists white.

He nearly doubled over laughing at Stella’s ‘threat.’

She may have been extremely aggressive—and had many a time where her hair-trigger temper got her into serious trouble. But even with her penchant for threats of physical violence, he knew better than to fear her in that way.

Stella would never touch him in a manner to harm him in malice. This he would willingly bet every facet of his life on…

…and which made it even funnier to him. It further confirmed in the back of his mind that this was more of a defense mechanism and reflex rather than an actual threat she intended to act upon.

So, he giggled. And stood up off the bed in all his naked glory.

“Oh piss… OFF, Stella!” he said, rather amused, yet unamused at the exact same time.

And it was clear to him, by her sudden jerking around to face him, that was not the answer she expected.

Fred lent false consideration to her words, and let the liquid sarcasm just pool on the floor under his mouth:

“Yeah… we could go that route. And what? I can fuckin’… go to back to work and when Celestia asks about a bruise on my face, I friggin’ tell her I fell down the stairs or some shit? That I ran into a doorframe?”

Stella flinched, recoiled as if Fredrick actually struck her on the face.

She then looked down to her still-balled up fists and regarded them with the same confusion Fredrick witnessed earlier.

He continued to press her:

“Then what? Because you know full well that Celestia will act and tell Luna immediately. Then knowing her, she’ll level a demerit on your record so large—and subsequently beat the ever-loving shit out of you so efficiently—you’ll shit pancakes for the rest of your life,” he said.

He knew she was listening, but Stella continued to regard herself… not with confusion anymore, but with a profound sullenness that was written all over her face:

Shame.

“Is that what you want, Stella? Is that what you’re envisioning in that beautiful—rational—head of yours right now? Because I know… as retarded as you can be, you’re one of the smartest ponies I know!” Fredrick asked seriously, not expecting to garner any response.

He didn’t get any.

Stella was holding her responses in and attempting to bury them down in her own disgust of herself… at least, that’s what Fred thought he was seeing.

He leveled his hands at her in truce:

“Or… OR…” he began anew. “We could come together like functioning adults—like marefriend and boyfriend—and you can tell me what’s really bothering you, so I can help you get through it.”

Stella didn’t seem to care that he was seeing her this way anymore, as she snapped her gaze directly onto him—her eyes were bloodshot and were tearing heavily.

Fred nearly lost his cool at how much she was hurting right now. The sudden onset of this… episode was the last thing on his mind suddenly.

Stella fought back tears and a storm of rage within her as she cautiously stayed her tone in her response:

“I don’t need yer help, Fredrick… what don’t you understand about that?” she said through gritted teeth.

Fred crossed his arms.

“Oh, I understand you one-hundred percent. We speak the same language after all. I’m just electing to ignore your bullshit,” he said.

Stella’s mouth opened several times, but no response was forthcoming.

In fact, she was stunned silly.

Again, Fredrick offered her a way out:

“And fuck’s sake, babe… you don’t have to do this alone… I’m here for you. For anything you could ever need! Hell, if you don’t want to talk to me, please just talk to someone,” he said, pleading.

Stella’s hostile response was immediate… and expected:

“I don’t need anypony’s FUCKIN’ help! I can handle this on me own!” she said.

Fredrick had an immediate counter for that, and he pointed directly at her:

“Yeah, and? How’s that been working out for you after all this time, Stella?”

Her words stopped on a dime, and she averted her gaze completely.

Fredrick nodded knowingly.

“Yeah, that’s what I fuckin’ thought. More like ‘it hasn’t.’”

Silence reclaimed the domain once more. The cool wind blowing in from outside also served to cool the general atmosphere. Fredrick could feel the tension slowly die down as they took a breather from talking.

Stella angled her head back up to meet Fredrick’s face. He could feel every ounce of emotion within her, as those golden pools told him just how much she was aching. At the same time, he did well to silently try and convey that everything was going to be alright…

…that he was here for her.

…that he loved her.

And deep down, he could only hope he was doing this daily… or whenever he got the chance to see her. Uncertainty began to bubble up deep within his core as the silence dragged on, which quickly fermented into anxiety.

Am I doing something wrong?

Am I to blame for this?

What would make her not want to talk to me about something, when she’s open about the most salacious details of her life?

Did… Did I fuck up somehow?

He cleared his throat and took a couple steps forward towards his marefriend.

“Now… I’m not trying to pry. You’re hurting. And as your boyfriend all I want to do is help you overc—”

Stella exploded.

“ALRIGHT!

“IT’S FRAGILE! IT’S FUCKIN’ FRAGILE’ FER FUCKS SAKE, FRED!” she roared.

Fredrick nearly fell back onto his ass at the sudden tsunami of a cocktail of emotion that blasted outward from Stella like a bomb.

She stood up, began pacing, and began loudly ranting her heart out:

“WHEN I TOOK THE GODDAMN POTION… I TRIED TAE KISS YOU OUT OF REFLEX AND YOU SWERVED ME. YOU FUCKIN’ SWERVED ME FRED…

“I DON’T BLAME YOU THOUGH! BUT IT JUST SHOWED ME THAT ONE CHANGE WAS FUCKIN’ CATASTROPHIC FER US! IF THAT WAS PERMANENT…”

Stella stopped in her tracks. The tears suddenly flowed freely—unabashedly.

Visibly quivering in her own hooves, she shut her eyes tightly, spilling all her pent-up feelings down her cheeks. She then buried her face into her palms.

She sobbed.

And seeing that so plainly in front of him put Fredrick’s heart in an industrial shredder. This was one of the only times where he felt physically sick to his stomach.

His hand went to his core as he felt the pain… and seeing Stella—the crossest mare in the Guard… his indomitable spirit of a marefriend—completely reduced to genuine tears had taken a sledgehammer his morale and shattered it into a million pieces.

He reached forward as he moved to close the distance between them:

“S-Stella?” he tentatively called.

She didn’t move, but her crying never ceased, even through her strained words.

“I-I-I D-DON’T WANT YOU TO L-LEAVE ME…!”

Fredrick was stopped stupid for a moment, then shook his head free of any attempts to rationalize that. Again, things were coming at him from left, right, center… and other fields that went straight up his ass and took a left a shithole creek.

“Wha—Why the hell would I leave you?” he asked.

Fredrick stood right in front of his admittedly quite broken-seeming mare and held her gently by the shoulders. She still refused to pull her palms away from her face as her confusing whirlwind of emotions continued to waterfall down her cheeks.

She only shook her head as she cried.

Fredrick instinctively opened his arms and pulled Stella into him, embracing her fully. She didn’t resist, and in fact, Fredrick was able to cradle her properly as she actively leaned into him.

Stella still refused to pull her hands away from her face, however. Whether that was to catch her tears, or to save face… or some combination of the two, Fredrick wasn’t concerned on her methods so long as she let him hold her.

Their positioning put her ears right in range of his mouth, and in a gesture that he knew she loved, he gently kissed her there.

As well as whispering his encouragement.

“It’s okay, babe… let it all out. You need this,” he said, and led the both of them back to the bed so they could sit down together.

Stella did let it all out… and in a sign of progress for Fredrick, Stella threw her arms tightly around his waist, holding herself as flush as she could without the two fusing at a molecular level.

He didn’t care in the slightest that her tears were literally running down his chest.

Hell, he didn’t care anymore at her rather horrific attitude towards him a mere two minutes earlier.

All he cared about was her health. All of her health. Whatever this business was about him ‘leaving her,’ he wagered that it didn’t just all start with the Great Genderbend of ‘69 a mere few hours earlier.

Fredrick shook his head.

Hell no… this manifested. And it’s probably manifested for some time.

In the end, she had opened up to him somewhat… albeit explosively. Whatever it took to get more out of her and get to the root of this sudden problem was alright with him—in this case, Stella could take as much time as she pleased.

Besides, it seemed like she really needed a good cry. Fredrick was almost impressed with how long she had been sobbing into him.

That didn’t make it any less difficult and heart-wrenching to watch, hear, or feel, though.

“I love you so much, Stella…” Fredrick cooed into her ear, which flicked lightly in response.

Stella sniffled whilst nodding.

Fred continued:

“…I just want you to remember that. Always. Maybe I haven’t been doing as good of a job over the last few months at reminding you. I promise I’ll get better at it,” he then added.

Stella immediately shook her head, looking up at him.

“No love… Nononononono it’s not you, mate! I love you too...” she said softly, hugging him around his torso.

If she was trying to dispel any and all fear within Fredrick, she was doing one hell of a job in his totally unbiased opinion. Nevertheless, he couldn’t help but wonder… should he have pressed the signs earlier? Like with her dream that she would always get uncharacteristically defensive over?

“I just… Hmph,” Stella sighed out, pouting through her face that was still stained with fresh tear stains.

Thankfully, the flow had stopped, but seeing the love of his life like this was still bringing an aching pain to his chest that he knew he could only alleviate by making her smile.

Before he had the chance to crack something wise or sarcastic to finally lighten the mood, Stella decided to finish her thought.

“Alright…” she began anew with a rather acquiescing tone of voice, then sniffled.

Just before she did, however, she swung herself off of his lap and took a seat nice and flush right against him—hip to hip.

That look of shame never left her face as she stared down to the floor.

“So. You wanna know about me dream? You know… the one?” she dared to ask.

And like hell Fredrick was going to turn down that opportunity. He placed his hand on her thigh and nodded vehemently.

“Yeah! Of course…” he said.

Stella took another deep breath, but in another gesture that re-ignited Fredrick’s heart, she reached for his hand and interlaced her fingers with his.

“This is just… ugh…” she rolled her eyes. “So fuckin’ stupid… yer gonna laugh at this.”

Fredrick shook his head and patted the top of her hand for support. He smiled warmly at her when she turned to face him again—he could slowly but surely see the fear inside her being chipped away.

“Not at all, Stella. Take as long as you need. Whatever you need to get off your chest… whatever it takes,” he said.

Fredrick kept his eyes glued to Stella’s face as she grappled with all the confusing emotions within her. But after what seemed like a small lifetime, she sighed out and began to speak:

“Remember when I let you in on it a little back in Thestralshire? How it’s been an ongoing nightmare since me army days?”

Fredrick nodded, having recalled that immediately.

“Definitely… something about a really bad experience in the Badlands, right? Something happened there. What was it?” he asked, moving the conversation right along.

Stella pursed her lips and averted her gaze elsewhere.

“Aye… ummm… about that…”

Fredrick cocked his head, and silently bade her onward.

“Sooo… that was a fuckin’ lie,” she said.

Fred blinked, legitimately shocked.

“Wait… really??”

“There was no bad experience in the Badlands. Fuck me, we enjoyed our time there. Even had dinner with Changeling troops once in a while—not bad lads, by the way…” she admitted, sniffling and wiping her nose.

Apparently, Fredrick still had plenty of opportunity to be surprised.

“Well shit. Okay then…” he said.

Stella continued cautiously:

“Goddamn this is so fucking…” she collected herself, running her hands down her face. “…the dream started sometime after you and I met.”

“Go on…”

“It’s the same every time,” Stella said, her words notably more subdued.

“The Princesses announce to us all that you no longer need special privileges and protection in the castle… because they found a way to send you home.”

Fredrick blinked hard, and a dozen synapses clicked in his brain at once… suddenly, everything made so much more sense.

Oh…

“You were already preparing to leave. Somehow I manage to catch you before you go into this fuckin’… portal thing. I called out to you. I cried. I begged you to stay. You just looked back and… turned away as you walked into the portal. Not a word… not even a goodbye.

“Then it shut. I was left alone after that.”

Fredrick watched as another two tears were squeezed out from her eyes, and she shook her head. All the while she gripped his hand harder, which he gladly reciprocated.

Stella continued before he could say anything:

“It’s the same sequence of events exactly. Not every night but… once every week and a half I’d say… I watch you just walk out of me life without word.”

The mere thought of that scrunched up Fred’s stomach… there was just so much wrong with the very concept to him, that he couldn’t bear to wonder how Stella was going through this on a regular basis. But more than that, it highlighted something extremely important to him… despite the less-than ideal manner of the revelation:

Stella cared about him. She loved him. She loved him hard. Everyone he had ever met from Highground to friggin’ Vampir—her goddamn dad—had told him as such. He knew it to be true… he thought he had truly seen it in the past.

This was something different altogether. Maybe he was finally beginning to understand the weight of it all.

“Babe…” he spoke up again, which earned her attention.

“I think it goes without saying that I would never. Ever. Do anything like that. After everything we’ve been through…” he said.

Stella pursed her lips and nodded—shame still scrawled all over her matted face.

“Aye… I know it’s fuckin’ retarded but—”

Fredrick stopped her there, much to her apparent surprise:

“No. It’s not retarded. It’s clearly a real fear you have,” he said.

He held her hand between both of his hands.

“Look… I’ve gone back and forth with Luna and Celly for the first six months or so of my time here. Despite all their research and their experimentation… the spell that brought me here had a fluke in it. A ‘one in quadrillion’ chance of said fluke being replicable.”

Fredrick shrugged, and shook his head while keeping eye contact with Stella, smiling all the while.

“I’m stuck here. The Princesses could literally focus their entire lives on that same spell, and still not be able to recreate the unique conditions that brought me here.

"And you know what? That’s okay by me!”

He watched as Stella nodded at him, the slightest bit of a smirk returning to her face as she listened to him raptly.

However, he felt he needed to add one last thing:

“Even if they somehow—despite the literal impossibility—were able to recreate those precise conditions? Those conditions would not be guaranteed to last for more than fractions of a second.

“And even if they did…” he punctuated, hanging on his words as he felt Stella’s hopeful gaze peering into him.

“I’d be staying right where I am,” he said, smiling.

Stella sniffled and gazed up to him through some of her matted bangs—the lack of a ponytail in her mane for the last several hours had made it that much more unkempt.

“A-Aye? Ya mean that?” she asked with the purest hope welling up in her eyes.

Fred nodded twice.

“You know it! Yeah… it was terrible how essentially my previous life ended, really. I mean… my family and friends—despite how much I love them—probably think I’m dead by this point. Harsh and well… sad, really,” he said.

A familiar pang hit him in the stomach… one that he was well-acquainted with since the first day he arrived in Equestria and was forced to face the music. Over time though, that pang of recollecting his family and old life had slowly ebbed away.

Perhaps… a little too quickly for his liking. But like the whole incident, there was no point in dwelling on it.

Especially since he had a more important point to make to the mare right in front of him.

“But, it’s the truth. And no amount of moping or crying about it was ever going to change that reality. One life ended… and yet, I was given another chance in another world—debatably more gorgeous than the one I left…

“And I get to be with you, Stella.”

Fredrick might as well have melted at the cutest face Stella had ever made. Combined with her eyes spilling over again, his heart was sent into a flutter—his core was light on air…

…even more so when Stella threw her arms around his neck, pulling him tightly against her.

Of course he would hold her… for as long as she liked.

He imparted little kisses onto her cheek and her neck as she buried her face into his… he could feel some more of her tears moistening his skin while she sniffled out what remained of her internal conflict. Even so, he could already feel the change in her mood—her aura had improved substantially.

Fredrick smiled warmly as he began to run his fingers down her back, tracing a line up and down between her folded wings.

“There… feeling a little better, babe?” Fredrick dared to ask.

Fredrick watched as Stella pulled back, briefly held his gaze, then softly pressed her lips against his own. By way of reflex, he let his eyes fall shut and their arms wrap around her as he always had.

A soft kiss… a kiss that elicited the tiniest whispers of moans from him, and identical ones from Stella. He was content in being held right where he was, especially when he felt Stella’s left hand rest firmly on the nape of his neck. As he moved his mouth in tandem with hers, and felt her soft lips moving reservedly yet longingly against his, he knew well that this kiss was not of wanton desire.

But rather, a kiss of love. If beautiful fields of blooming flowers swaying in a gentle breeze with rolling spring showers could be somehow described as an emotion… that’s exactly how Fredrick felt right now.

And he felt that Stella was feeling the same way… though perhaps her emotions were much less ‘flowers and rain on a spring day’ and more of ‘limitless alcohol and drunken shenanigans without any consequences.’

This was love.

Hell, this was their love.

Fredrick hummed approvingly when he felt Stella press herself deeper into their kiss… but she then pulled away gently. Their lips separated with a barely audible ‘smack,’ but to Fred, it might as well have echoed throughout his room.

His eyes lit up when Stella smiled… that familiar, perky, cocky smile of hers that he loved, though this time it was laced with an extra dash of sentimentality.

Yet through it all, she still managed to cock a coy eyebrow.

“You think I’m strapped intae this relationship… fer my safety? Laddie…” she said.

Fredrick couldn’t help but laugh at that, but before he could offer a riposte, Stella was quick to add something with a return to her more affectionate tone:

“I love you, Fred… so goddamn fuckin’ much…”

Fredrick kissed her once more and held her tightly in another hug.

“I love you too, Stella. To Luna’s Moon and back…” he replied.

A few seconds of comfortable silence ensued before he felt Stella twitch in his arms… and then he heard her snort.

“Fuck that’s gay…” she muttered.

“No you, you cheeky dickwaffle.”

She giggled heartily, and Fredrick was not far behind.

“Fuck, you better not leave me… aye, laddie?!”

“Not sure you’d be capable of loosening the leash that much, hon’…”

“Oh ho ho! Aren’t ye so fuckin’ funny? Don’t make me physically keep ya ‘tied down~!’”

“Don’t you threaten me with a good time, girl!”

Fredrick had enough of roller-coasters for one day, though. That was for sure.