Oh boy, here we go! This is it, lads!

I would just like to go on the record and say that first chapters are usually the hardest for me, as it was in this case. After this, with intros out of the way, things should be much smoother.

So, without further ado, strap in! Cuz it's about to get weird!

The door to one of Canterlot’s most well-known taverns, The Stalactite, swung outward, and a gentle gust from the night air whooshed in as a lone figure entered into the establishment.

The stairway leading downward into the main drinking and dining hall was pitch black, but that was no cause for concern. Batponies had a knack for seeing particularly well in the darkness… and the mare’s golden eyes becoming that much more radiant further corroborated this.

A small trek downward and said mare’s form was bathed in a gentle, violet light that seemed to emanate from strategically-placed light fixtures within the rock walls themselves. Light and shadow was left in a perfect equilibrium throughout the main room.

Taking a deep breath and sighing out blissfully, the thestral mare took in her ‘kingdom.’ This was her favorite place to meet with friends, pass the time before guard shifts, and ultimately get pissed-drunk at her leisure. She let her eyes roam briefly over the scene. To her all was as it should have been: massive, long bar on the far right, tables of variable size in the center, and booths on the far left for those who would prefer a little bit more intimate setting. All filled to capacity. The air was crisp and dry, yet heavy, reminiscent of the Northern Mountains that she hailed from and serving to add to her already nostalgic, confident, and pristine-white grin.

As the light shone over more and more of her body, her coat was a discernable gray… but at just the right angles, a trick of the eye revealed the slightest reflection of blue. A perfect complement to her navy-blue mane and tail. Her physique projected an air of pique physical shape, sculpted and honed within the crucible of intense military training and further adding to her innate beauty and intimidation factor.

After flaring out and stretching her wingspan once, she folded said appendages neatly behind her back. She adjusted her indigo v-neck t-shirt, and set off with a purpose into the crowded, exuberant dining area.

She fumbled with her Lunar Guard badge, one which read ‘Stella Sabre’ as her name and ‘Corporal’ as her rank emblazoned on a small silver plate. It stayed in her left pocket of her black denim pants where it belonged; she had little intention of getting a stern rollicking from her Commanding Officer for losing her badge tonight.

Her brisk walk slowed to a gentle stroll, one hoof in front of the other, as she passed between crowded tables full of drink and vigor. She would set her hands stealthily on others’ chairs as she navigated the sea of ponies, patrons not caring in the slightest of their surroundings. She fixed her ponytail and ensured all hair of her mane was well behaved. She then clicked her tongue three times in a very specific manner.

Not a few moments later, three identical ‘clicks’ sounded, and her ears twitched in the offending direction. Her echolocation successful, Stella smirked and set off to a table almost directly in the center, where another batpony was already comfortably situated. This one, however, was dressed stark-differently by virtue of the Canterlot Police Department uniform she wore.

A thestral from Hollow Shades, the mare in question sported a short, crimson, forward-swept mane that was neatly combed, meshed well with her naturally resting-stoicism. She held an air of authority. Being half again Stella’s age placed her at the butt of many of the former’s jokes about ‘age before beauty.’ Golden eyes, similar to Stella’s, complemented her gray coat.

“Hey, poof!” Stella greeted in her iconic Northern Equestrian Mountain accent.

She unceremoniously pulled back her seat and plopped her butt down. Scooting herself in, she locked eyes with one of her best friends, Moral Highground.

Highground shot her younger best friend a half-smirk at her arrival.

“How’s it goin’, Stella?” Highground replied.

She took a quick swig of her water and leaned forward, placing her arms on the table.

“Pretty good, actually!” the accented mare answered.

She crossed her legs and reclined back in her chair. Stella took another breath to follow up, but a waitress was immediately upon them.

“Can I get you a refill, officer?” the waitress asked.

The batpony smiled as she offered the water pitcher in her grasp. She then glanced over at Stella with polite obligation.

“And hi there! Can I get you anything too?”

Highground, however, intercepted the question.

“Thank you, and to your second question, get her whatever she wants; tab’s on me tonight,” she answered on both of their behalfs.

At her last assertion, Stella shot her best friend an irritated glare.

“Eat my fuckin’ minge, ya uniformed tosser! You paid last week!” she protested with extra emphasis on the more colorful words.

The waitress blinked hard and recoiled. Highground, however, was unfazed. Without changing her stoic look, she shifted her glance from her friend back to the waitress.

“Yeah, tab’s on me. Whatever she wants.”

Stella threw her hands into the air exasperatedly before huffing once through pursed lips, finally acquiescing. All the while, she mentally went through a list of ways to possibly kill her friend without being framed for homicide. Unfortunately, none of her options ended without at least getting dishonorably discharged from the Guard, so Highground’s demise would have to be put on hold indefinitely.

“Northern Cream,” she grumbled. “And a side of the wild-berry mix, please.”

“You got it, hun,” replied the waitress with a smile and a tilt of her head.

And with that, she was off.

Stella draped her right arm over the back of her chair, further relaxing into her position. Even so, her irritated glare remained, and she gestured appropriately to Highground.

“What the fuck, HG? We agreed on a back-and-forth,” she pointed out.

Highground attempted to stifle an impending giggle but to only some avail.

“We did,” she admitted plainly, taking a sip of her refilled water. She set it back on the table and leaned back in her chair, the pure definition of ‘stoic smugness’ etching itself into her features.

“I’m just choosing to ignore it.”

Stella nodded, her face bearing the look of somepony clearly unconvinced by the argument presented.

“Oh this is just you pullin’ some hyped-up, fuckin’ copper power trip government bullshit… just to annoy me because I can’t punch you in the face!” she surmised so succinctly, spitting out any word that might’ve come to her head to adequately describe her friend.

Highground suddenly leaned forward.

“Hey!” she said curtly, pointing straight at Stella’s face. “Respect your elders, you disgraceful, mouthy skank.”

Stella rolled her eyes, blowing an errant strand of hair out of her face. She refocused back on her friend with a cocked eyebrow.

“Oh please, my eld—you’re not my fuckin’ elder! You’re a pair of saggy flaps with a gun, and a tight uniform that makes ya look like a fuckin’ ponce,” Stella shot back without much thought.

She smiled cheekily at her words, and Highground chuckled and returned the gesture in earnest while nodding approvingly.

Such was quintessential banter between the two.

“That was actually pretty good,” Highground admitted, scooting her chair in.

The waitress returned with Stella’s drink and snack, setting them down in front of her. The guardsmare shot her a sideways smirk.

“Cheers, love,” she said. The waitress smiled back, nodded, and mosied off deeper into the sea of ponies.

“So, how’ve you been these past two weeks?” Highground asked, reigniting conversation as she, too, reclined in her chair.

Stella only shrugged indifferently.

“Nothin’ out of the ordinary with me. But…” she then leaned in, shifting her eyes twice before focusing back on her friend. Her voice dropped to just above a whisper to ask a question that she already knew the answer to.

“Want a wee bit of confidential gossip?”

Highground huffed, jokingly bobbing her head and mulling it over before replying.

“Sure! Whaddya got for me?” she asked, placing her forearms back on the table and leaning forward in kind.

Stella immediately initiated storytelling mode with a bright smile.

“Okay, so. A week and a half ago, the entire guard unit was quietly mobilized, and we locked down the whole fuckin’ castle. We needed everypony on station just in case, so, yours truly was given the honor of waking up the Sols…”

“Oh?” Highground asked, then continued knowingly. “Bet you enjoyed that.”

Stella smiled her trademark, toothy, tell-all smile… the physical manifestation of her unique personality summed up by one facial expression.

“You know me too well, HG,” Stella confirmed, giggling as she recalled the next memory. “I used six blank rounds. That woke ‘em up pretty fuckin’ good, mate.”

Highground also took part in the merriment, genuinely laughing at the thought of something Stella would actually do.

Having known her for as long as she did, she knew full-well just how eccentric and downright insane her friend could get. While Stella’s personality had gotten the two of them into more shenanigans than Highground would care to admit as a peace officer, she would concede fully that Stella was truly a mare of merit and mettle… one whom they could trust with their life.

“Have you ever wondered why nopony likes you?” the CPD officer asked, leaning her cheek against her fist.

Stella popped a couple strawberries in her mouth, and quickly washed them down with her beer.

“The fuck’re you talkin’ about? Ponies love me!” she countered unconvincingly, gesturing grandly to herself. “Think of me as an onion…”

“An… onion?” Highground questioned, curious as to where this was possibly gonna go.

“Aye! A really fuckin’ hot and sexy onion, mind you… but an onion! Personality-wise I don’t seem all that appealing at first. But, as you peel back layer after layer of me… nah mate, actually you’ll find the same exact shite and you’ll start crying,” the guardsmare jested.

Highground’s expression never changed.

“Uh huh. Well, that was a total waste of fifteen seconds of my life… but okay. Go on,” she bade Stella to continue.

“Right! So…” the guardsmare began anew. “We get to our positions and stand guard like we’re supposed to. This went on for two hours before we knew anything. According to my CO, however, it turns out the Princesses cocked up.”

Highground blinked once.

“They ‘cocked up?’” she asked, curious at Stella’s word usage.

“Aye, they cocked up.”

It was moments like this that Highground lived for… the opportunity to fuck with Stella and just generally annoy her. Like any close friends, the two would dump on each other on for multitude of things. One such thing was Stella’s speech, and general way of talking.

This was her time to shine, and as such, she raised a lone eyebrow.

“They… got erections?”

“Aye! Wait… fuckin’ what?!” Stella suddenly changed tune when Highground’s words finally processed.

It was only too late that the uppity guardsmare realized what her friend was up to for the… and Highground promptly continued.

“I mean, if they’re popping stiffies in the middle of the throne room, yeah, I could probably see why this is all confidential now,” she mused.

The right side of Stella’s lips curled up devilishly.

“Oh ho ho, you’re so very fuckin’ witty, mate. It’s a mite shame you don’t have a coltfriend to appreciate yer wonderful sense of humor,” she shot back, emphasizing her second sentence with a faux-innocence only one with a Master’s degree in Banter could muster.

Highground loosed another chuckle, calling it a success that she managed to get a rise out of her friend. Still, she had no counter-rebuttal to offer in return, so she opted to let her continue.

And continue Stella did…

…after chugging the rest of her drink.

“Ahh…” she cooed, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. “Anyway, it turns out, in whatever magical orgy voodoo fuckery the princesses were trying to do… they summoned something! Another being!” she exclaimed.

The officer recoiled lightly, and her jaw slackened as her right eyebrow remained prominently cocked.

“…They what?”

“I know right?”

“So… what did they ‘summon’ exactly?” the cop asked, feeling that was the most appropriate question to follow up with.

Unfortunately for her, Stella only shrugged.

“Shit if I know. I didn’t get to see a damn thing. None of us did… all we heard was that it walked on two legs like us,” she recollected. “After two hours of standing around—armed to the teeth—with our thumbs up our cunts, the princesses and our commanders told the Sols to fuck off back to their barracks, and for us Lunars to resume our standard patrols.”

Stella went to take another sip of her beer, but she pouted upon seeing (and subsequently remembering) that she had shotgunned the rest of it not even a minute ago. She set her glass aside and looked back to Highground, gesturing indifferently.

“Like it never even happened. Things’ve been pretty normal since then, but I think things may get a bit more interesting in the near future, considering it’s healthy enough and safe to stay in the castle as pretty much a guest. Tonight.”

“Yeah?” Highground asked. A stoic, yet subtly impish grin of her own signaled even more of the impending cheek about to exit her maw.

“Excited about your prospects with this new creature to end your dry spell?”

“Oh yes, of course. That’s exactly right,” Stella replied, sarcasm dripping from her every word.

“Well, you might have to try a bit harder,” Highground continued, her expression changing little. “I mean… have you heard yourself? I don’t even think an otherworldly creature’s gonna wanna hear that raspy accent moaning.”

Stella huffed, rolling her eyes and reclining back in her chair. Her smile quickly morphed from unimpressed to smug, and she pointed emphatically at her friend.

“That’s some pretty weak banter coming from somepony whose mane’s stained the color of her own period blood,” she riposted.

“Hey, when I said my mane was ‘all natural,’ I really meant it,” Highground counter-quipped with a rather contained smile of her own, running her fingers through her mane and waggling her eyebrows.

Even for the mighty Lunar guardsmare, the implication was too much for her to not cringe and shudder.

“Uchh! You probably do do that ya old, right scabby fuckin’ cunt, you,” Stella said, shuddering one last time for good measure. “Why all the younger colts an’ mares wanna saddle up on you is beyond my comprehension. Fuckin’ bollocks, mate.”

The gentlest breeze graced both friends’ faces, imparting a soft reprieve of cool air and signaling the entrance of somepony else into the establishment. At that moment, a group of three, exuberant batpony colts seemingly no older than twenty or twenty-one made their entrance. The sounds of their excited, over-the-top mannerisms and less-than-appropriate volume levels fit right into the general atmosphere of the tavern.

As fortune would have it, the three noisily brushed by Stella’s and Highground’s table… with one of the colts shooting the latter a wandering gaze up her form while he passed. He smirked coyly as he continued on toward the end of the bar proper with his friends.

All of this transpired much to Stella’s chagrin, and Highground made well to rub it in, sporting a cocked eyebrow and quite the smug expression.

“You were saying?”

Stella popped the last few bits of fruit into her mouth with a deadpan, shoving the tray away from her.

“Fuck off.”

After a comfortable silence, the two shared in some mutual chuckling and moved onto more conventional topics among close friends, such as work, family, and love life. Neither were particularly interesting for either party, for reasons both known and kept to oneself, but such was life for two pretty ponies who were committed to their jobs… though surprisingly, Stella was quite the workaholic despite the image she would routinely project.

Stella, despite her headstrong, outgoing, and borderline abrasive personality, was still a mare of order and discipline. This was especially true when it came to her job as a guard… a job that some might say she took a little too seriously in most respects. Matters military were of utmost importance and priority for her, all thanks to her upbringing and eventual career choice.

This topic would inevitably come up in conversation the moment someone asked her what her life prospects were. She wished to go to college and study political science, but at the same time, she wished for no financial burden on her family.

So, Stella enlisted in the Equestrian Army the minute she turned eighteen, following a small family ‘lineage’ of sorts among the Sabre batpony name. She served first in an infantry division as a recruit and eventually worked her way up the lower peon ranks. By the time she transferred to a more elite ground unit as a recognized soldier, she would see some rotation in and out of the badlands for border patrols.

Eventually, she would work her way up to a Corporal, with more than a few weapon mastery commendations under her belt. All of this was enough to apply and get immediately accepted into a prestigious and coveted Lunar Guard position, and she ended up staying there.

The rest was history.

“…and if he’s gonna be a fuckin’ dickhead about it, then he can piss off,” Stella finished her two cents on one of Highground’s potential future problems.

The CPD officer seemed inclined to agree with her best friend’s rather simple, if effective advice.

“Yeah, I guess so. I’ll update you as shit progresses. Either way, we should probably head out,” Highground said, stretching her arms out and adjusting the lapels of her uniform before glancing over at the bill. She left more than enough bits to cover their tiny outing.

Stella reached for her left pocket.

“Look, can I just leave the—”

“No.”

And the guardsmare retracted her hand, laying it back on the table while pouting.

“Fiiiiiine.”

Before either of them could stand up to leave, however, a third presence was sensed to the right of their table. Both mares turned and looked up to find the same, young colt from earlier, though having separated from his group. His face played host to the confidence of a thousand stallions greater than he.

Through the sudden, pregnant silence that was upon them, Stella was able to process his basic appearance: dark-gray to the coat, unkempt but stylish orange mane, fairly typical t-shirt and shorts, and identically orange eyes. His features were quite soft, indicating readily apparent youth.

And if Stella was being honest with herself, after that brief look-over, she concluded that he was decent looking… just certainly younger than her by at least four years.

Both mares raised an expectant eyebrow at his presence.

“Hi officer, umm…” the stallion glanced back toward his friends, who were animatedly urging him onward. He continued, but suddenly decided the back of his neck needed to be scratched at that very moment.

“I know this is random but, uhhh… I thought you were really pretty, and I-I was wondering if…” he uttered, but his confidence waned and dropped precipitously under Highground’s stoic gaze.

He was doing so well, too. His friends all collectively facepalmed.

Highground, however, only shot a look towards Stella, who gestured back to her in such a way that said ‘go right ahead, this is your problem.’

“Gotta hand it to you,” the officer finally spoke, giving the formerly brash stallion’s body a single once-over. “You’ve got balls coming up to a cop and hitting on them… but sorry to say, it ain’t gonna happen. I’m flattered, but like twice your age, kid.”

Stella bobbed her head thoughtfully at her friend’s words, averting her gaze as she zoned out momentarily.

Hm. At least she let him down softly.

Understandably, the newcomer’s features sank slightly, but he immediately bounced back to cover that up.

“Ah… okay then. Well, how about you?” he suddenly asked Stella, harshly drawing her out of her pensive stupor.

She returned unto him a look of pure incredulity.

“Wait… wah?” she dared to ask. Her entire thought process came to a momentary, if screeching halt. Even Highground counted herself surprised at the sudden about-face.

“Yeah, could I buy you a drink?” he asked nonchalantly with oodles more confidence this time… apparently the uniform made all the difference in his eyes.

Stella, however, was less than amused.

“Ummm… I don’t think it works that way when you’re stuttering to ask a mare’s friend out, and then you, immediately after, ask her,” she pointed out, cocking her trademark right eyebrow.

The nameless stallion’s gaze never faltered from hers, and in fact, began to mimic her own.

“So… the answer’s no?”

The guardsmare’s look immediately soured, and she stared him down as if she was offered the shittiest alcohol possible. In her opinion, that was probably the worst comment of them all.

“…the fuck are you on about??” she raised her voice.

“Oh… I umm I-I didn’t…” the stallion stuttered even worse than before. His sudden burst of confidence was skillfully murdered under Stella’s moderate ire.

Highground only watched the situation unfold with mild, visible amusement. On the inside, however, she enjoyed seeing Stella’s impending wrath expand exponentially in proportion with the stupidity of outside actors.

As for the mare in question, Stella planted her left hand on the tabletop and leaned forward, threatening to rise out of her seat. She had no intention to cause a scene (yet) over some stupid pony, so she opted to keep her tone at current level.

“Fuck right off back to the bar, or I’ll stuff your tail up yer ass,” she stated with a tilt of her head towards his friends.

The offending stallion’s hooves could not carry him faster.

Stella looked back to Highground, who had yet another smug look on her face… or smug relative to her normal expressions, which often ranged from angry, to stoic, to more stoic.

“Whaaat?” Stella asked, confounded.

Highground only shook her head, chuckling.

“Nothing at all.”

“Alright then. Let’s get out of here, yeah?” Stella suggested, though said suggestion had already been mutually agreed upon.

“Yep.”

Highground stood up along with Stella, and the two wormed their way through all the patrons and out the door. There, both mares were graced with the cooler night air once again, a pleasant feeling after being down in the increasingly stuffy tavern for a little while.

Both police officer and royal guard took simultaneous deep breaths and exhaled, facing each other. They immediately threw themselves into a hard embrace, chuckles all around as they held each other for a few moments.

“Toss me a note in the post when you’re free next,” Stella said, to which Highground responded with a single nod.

The guardsmare, however, had a few extra parting words for her good friend.

“Oh, and as always, be safe and try not to die, you fuckin’ slag,” Stella added with a chuckle, playfully punching Highground in the shoulder. “Otherwise, I won’t be able to pay for you next time… I’ll buy you a nice pineapple drink!”

Highground scowled and had to stifle a retch at the mention of the fruit. Stella busted out in gut-grabbing guffaw.

“Ughhh jeez, I might as well just kill myself right now,” the cop said. “But yeah, if I don’t run into you, I’ll let you know when I’m free. Good luck tonight.”

“Sounds like a plan!” Stella agreed, and the two of them moved to part ways, but not without the Lunar guard swatting Highground on the ass as they passed by each other to leave. That garnered a shrill yelp out of her.

“See ya later, masturbator!”

All he remembered before he woke up the first time, was pain… a piercing, pulsing, profound pain that felt like his entire body was being roasted alive. Surprisingly, it didn’t break the record for ‘worst thing felt in his life.’

And it apparently took a while for the extreme redness on his skin to finally dissipate.

To say that the events leading up to where he was now being ‘interesting’ would be one of the greatest understatements in history. Fredrick, however, would be more inclined to append the word ‘embarrassing’ somewhere in his analysis of the more recent past. So much so, that he was only marginally less surprised to see where he ended up, as opposed to how he felt he arrived there in the first place.

This was all relatively speaking, of course, for the current moment.

Laying in the large, bland hospital bed in a cozy room of the Canterlot Castle’s infirmary, the green-eyed human stared straight at the ceiling. He visually traced the unimpressive patterns of gray on white, letting his eyes note the orthogonality of the gray lines which spanned the entire ceiling and faded into the walls… all this as he contemplated his existence.

However, he felt that this was admittedly a smidge different than the times he’d do the same contemplating in the confines of his own shower back home…

…mainly because he had no desire to whack off once he’d had his fill this time around.

Great. Just great.

Fredrick was instantly brought back to what he felt was the reason for his current predicament. In his opinion, he would not be recovering from weird burns in a hospital on a completely different planet, in a completely different universe… all populated with anthropomorphic ‘ponies or whatever this furry’s wet dream was,’ had he not been waxing the pink porpoise to some online video featuring a couple of respectable women.

Though he had to admit… that must’ve been some nut and some video if such an explosive orgasm took him physically to another goddamn plane of reality!

The thought was of little consolation, though. He sighed out painfully, running his left hand through his unkempt, amber-brown hair.

Fred was quickly reminded that that was the least of his worries at this point. As he had come to rationalize, he was somewhere that was definitely not Earth, surrounded by aliens that had oddly human-esque figure, despite obvious differences. By direct implication, he had no access to anyone whom he knew… and none of the native hospital staff, as nice and gentle (if a bit skittish at his appearance) as they were, offered any answers to his glaringly obvious questions. The one thing he knew for sure was that these sapients were called ‘ponies.’ At least, he vaguely recalled this when he awoke for the first time a few days ago.

To him, it was at least one saving grace that said ponies spoke the same language.

Speaking of hospital staff…

Fredrick’s eyes caught movement towards the doorway and found the same nurse that had tended to him when he woke up the first time. He believed he caught her name as ‘Nurse Nightcross’ or something weird yet definitely memorable.

“Uhhh, hi there!” he greeted suddenly, finally glad to have someone there to possibly tell him anything useful.

The nurse noticeably recoiled at seeing the odd, coat-less creature fully awake and alert again.

“Oh! You’re awake!” the older mare said before immediately tearing out of the room, leaving Fred with an extended arm and an open mouth.

“Well… fucking okay then,” he mumbled.

Exasperated, he let his arms fall to his sides, and he gazed through the lone window afforded to his room. Clearly it was night time, and the twinkling stars as well as the sheer luminosity of the moon took him by surprise. Just this little snapshot of the world outside sent Fred’s mind reeling with questions… namely, what lay out there, and more importantly, would he be able to see a more familiar night sky? One filled with light pollution, perhaps?

“Ahem...”

Fredrick instantly turned back toward the doorway, finding yet another one of these ponies, but this one was quite different… especially so since he first noticed the horn jutting from her head, and the wings folded against her back.

He assumed she was female, given by the tone she emitted when clearing her throat. As she advanced forward, Fredrick, shocked at just how tall she was, eyed her up beyond a bit more than what was appropriate. The golden tiara and peytral played host to a regal aura, combined with her porcelain-white coat and multicolored mane that appeared to flutter and flow with a nonexistent breeze. Further lending weight to his first assumption, Fredrick’s eyes took an extra second once they fell over her chest and hips.

The feminine figure was strong with this one.

The regal newcomer stood by Fred’s bedside, and the two said nothing as they merely held eye-contact.

“Hmmm… green eyes,” she mused just above a whisper, leaning a bit lower to get a better look.

Now, Fredrick knew he was in a completely different place than home, with an anthropomorphic figure looming over him with those piercing lavender eyes of hers. Even so, Fred had to control the descent of his gaze, considering that the beautiful white dress this mysterious pony was wearing was form-fitting.

Mysteriously in a new world with completely different creatures… and one still happens to have nice tits.

Dude, you’re ogling an alien. Stop.

“Uhhh…” Fred voiced confusedly with a matching expression. He wasn’t quite sure what he could say to that. Where could he possibly start?

“But where are my manners?” the regal one continued. “My name is Celestia, and I’m the co-leader of the nation of Equestria, where you currently are. I’m certain nothing make sense right now, but I assure you, I’m here to answer any and all of your questions.”

Something about that voice of hers… every time she uttered a single syllable or so much as breathed in his direction, she exuded an overwhelming sense of tranquility. By all means, Fredrick should’ve felt horrified at his situation, and in all honesty, his stomach was still doing flips on itself just based on the current implications alone.

Even so, Fred’s heart rate relaxed around this mare, and his breathing normalized. The sense of impending doom that was lingering in the back of his mind was cast aside just by her presence, even though his sarcasm defense mechanism was monolithic.

“I…” Fredrick began to speak, but his thoughts still continued to be muddled. It was as if at this very moment, the weight of everything was beginning to close in on him. The tranquility that Celestia had brought with her was forcing him to think logically…

…and consequently, face reality.

“Perhaps start with your name, since you know mine?” Celestia politely suggested, smirking down at him in such a motherly manner.

“Oh, right… heh. Ummm, I’m Fredrick. Fredrick Himmelreich.”

Celestia nodded pensively, mulling over his name in her head for a few moments. Still, she wished to tread carefully with her words.

“That’s an interesting name, but a nice one nonetheless.”

“I could say the same thing about yours,” Fredrick immediately replied, relishing in the metaphysical comfort that Celestia provided him by just being there. All the while, he wondered if she happened to have any relation to a unicorn based on the horn.

Celestia giggled, smoothing out her dress out of habit.

“True, but you’re the one in my world… not the other way around,” she astutely noted with another chuckle, one which Fredrick felt compelled to share in.

His first real question, however, was immediately intercepted by the mare.

“You’re wondering why you’re here, and when you may return home, surely?” Celestia guessed, though the heaviness of her words called the answer to his concerns into question.

Fredrick, however, decided to remain optimistic.

“Y-Yes,” Fred admitted, sitting up. Feeling reassured by her presence and spurred on by the almost painful need to know, he continued uneasily. “Ma’am, I… I have no idea where I am, or why.

“From the looks of it, I really don’t belong here, so I’d like to go home, like, now-ish, please,” he said.

Celestia let her eyes fall shut for but a second, taking in a deep breath and sighing out, her posture sagging in kind. Wordlessly, she took a seat next to Fredrick… and the once reassuring smile on her muzzle had sullied to one of pity. Her eyes shone of the absolute last emotion the human ever wanted to see at this particular time: regret.

She lay a tender hand atop his, and he noted how soft and velvety her skin felt, despite being covered in the thinnest layer of coat possible. It had only been about ten seconds of silence, but they told Fredrick everything.

Celestia took another stabilizing, crestfallen breath, and chose her next words very carefully. She could already feel her heart dropping into her stomach.

“I-I don’t know exactly how I can possibly say this to lessen the impact… but there’s something you should know, and that I’d like to explain to you,” she said softly.

Fredrick processed her words, and he assumed he knew what was to be said next, or at least the gist of it. Nevertheless, he remained silent, stoic, and he wordlessly communicated Celestia’s cue to continue.

“In our world, an ethereal, omnipotent force exists for us passively, and to actively harness at our will,” she explained, gesturing her left hand limply towards the clipboard on the nightstand.

On cue, her horn began to charge and glow with a comfortable light as she cast a small levitation spell. To Fredrick’s absolute disbelief, he witnessed the aforementioned clipboard become enveloped in the same, benevolent layer of light, and float into Celestia’s hand.

Her horn dimmed out completely.

“Magic.”

Fredrick, however, was sent reeling on all mental fronts. Eyes widened almost comically, he reflexively scooted a few inches away from Celestia. His pupils remained dutifully affixed to the clipboard that he could have sworn he saw floating through the air.

“You’ve got to be kidding me…” he breathed out, but disbelief immediately morphed into denial.

“No. What the fuck was that?! What. Was. That?!” he just about yelled, but Celestia was quick to act. Calling upon her magic yet again, she channeled it into her hand and lay it on Fredrick’s shoulder, helping him to regain control of his breathing and calm him down.

She never lost her soft, comforting demeanor.

“Easy, Fredrick,” Celestia cautioned. “I know this will take enormous getting used to… and I only say that, and demonstrated, because it leads to the answer of your initial question.”

Fredrick did calm down. Whatever Celestia did to him worked marvelously, and he instantly felt he could think more clearly. This entire night, his state of mind had bounced around from sarcastic indifference, to straight-up fear, and back to ambivalence.

But now, being in the calmest and most coherent state since he woke up, he was able to fully process the reality of it all. He faced forward, and glanced down at his hands as if they would offer him any respite.

“I’m stuck here, aren’t I?” he said flatly.

This was someone Celestia just met, not even of this earth, and the sympathy she held at Fred’s quite true revelation almost physically pained her. Her ears flattened against her head and she, too, had to avert her gaze for a few moments before continuing.

Fredrick was right, though. The pregnant and poignant silences had told all, and probably in a much better way than mere words out of Celestia’s mouth would be able.

What he deserved to know, however, was that this was she and her sister’s error. Celestia knew deep down that there would be absolutely no appropriate way to divulge that they were the ones responsible for (accidentally) violently ripping him from his home, and would, with the highest probability, not be able to return him. She contemplated distorting some information to lessen the blow, but immediately dismissed that as a contradiction of her core tenants of friendship that she held near and dear.

And through this continuing, loaded silence, Celestia only had to take one look at Fredrick to know immediately what she wished to do, without question. Talking to him for these few moments, Celestia was able to reassure herself that Fredrick was no threat to her subjects, nor himself.

Seeing him, admirably, keeping himself together was one thing. Witnessing Fred’s face just sink, his features telling of abyssal hopelessness was another… and all reaffirming to say what she wished to do.

Stella stood by the edge of her bed, laying out all the pieces of her armor atop her sheets and ensuring utmost cleanliness for her shift this evening. She usually preferred suiting up in the privacy of her own room in the barracks rather than the armory, though by ‘her own’ she meant ‘room shared with one other pony.’

The Lunar Guard barracks were nothing to write home about, but in comparison to the Solar Guard ones, neither were they anything to balk at. Less overall manpower meant less space to take up, which meant more room to separate bunk beds into individual beds, with the blessing of Princess Luna and High Command. Each room, instead of housing four personnel like the Sols, only housed two soldiers per. Each room was afforded a single pony-sized mirror at the front wall, and both beds rested parallel to each other with their own headboards and nightstands. A lone window rested on the rear wall, equipped with thin but unbendable steel bars which let in plenty of fresh air and sun/moonlight.

Stella would always joke with her comrades about the unmovable bars, saying that everypony was locked in with her.

After cleaning some general grime off of her chest plate, Stella righted her posture and looked down upon her disassembled uniform with more than a modicum of pride. Smirking, she set about preparing to strap the pieces to her body, all while running over a little ‘incident’ with a Solar trooper that went down earlier…

It was little secret that Stella had a thinly veiled disdain for a fair portion of the Solar Guard Force, one which went well-beyond the scope of a general rivalry.

Though in the end, that wasn’t saying much. By self-proclamation, she did not get on with about half of the Lunar Guard, either. She felt them all too undisciplined.

Stella secured the first pieces of her armor to her body with the poise one would come to expect from a professional soldier. Her hands moved almost autonomously from her conscious thought, a side effect of having suited up more times than she could possibly count.

With a resting stoic face, she strapped her chest plate to her torso and ensured a form fit over the under-layer. She stood up and contorted herself in odd directions to doubly ensure that movement around her stomach would not be restricted in any manner. Next were her shoulder plates, which were easily done, and she patted both of them out of habit.

Finally, her armor skirt remained. That was a simple act of tying the restraints and she was suited up for the evening. Then, she turned to the mirror and gave herself a general lookover. A true suit of armor would include a more plating on the legs, but this was not entirely practical for battle. If real shit went down at the castle, all guards would acquire true soldier’s wear, including rifles.

Satisfied with what she saw, Stella smirked her usual smirk and strapped her sword to her left hip. Topping it all off, she adjusted her ponytail in such a way that allowed her to slip on her helmet with ease and no discomfort.

“Sexy and fierce as always,” she joked, cocking her hip out and winking at her reflection.

Fully suited up, she dusted herself off and promptly exited her room, striding down the main corridor and out of the barracks. It was a short flight over a courtyard and a brisk walk through a central castle artery, but eventually, Stella made her way to her post for the evening.

It was in no way any place preferential, though she did try to pull some strings with her CO to be stationed near the infirmary. There was scheduling conflict, so that didn’t work out in the end. She wanted to be one of the first to lay eyes on this mysterious bipedal creature that had been conjured into existence, especially since the Princesses personally sent out a notice to the guards. It was rather simple: apparently this ‘human’ would be residing in the castle indefinitely.

No matter. She could see for herself later.

“Righto…” she said to herself, arriving at a very particular pillar overlooking an auxiliary entrance to the main castle courtyard. “Another easy night.”

After a few adjustments, Stella stood ramrod, falling almost perfectly statuesque. Scrutinizing her posture would only reveal movement when she blinked her eyes. Otherwise, she went as silent and as still as a grave.

At this time of night, nopony was around, so Stella effectively had the entire area to herself. Still, she refused to give herself leeway; her CO could easily walk by on a routine check to see if she was slacking off. In fact, many were surprised to learn that Stella had nary a single infraction on her record; it was as sterling as a royal tea set.

Movement caught Stella’s eye to her left.

She didn’t dare move, however, so she only flicked her eyes in the general direction. She immediately knew that who she was looking at was the exact individual she wished to see from the very beginning.

Hmph. Expected somepony taller.

With a lone eye on the meandering human, Stella spied him in a simple t-shirt and some baggy sweatpants. Her sneaky gaze was drawn down toward his hooves… or where his hooves would be in place of those weird five-digit feet, like apes. His clothes were too baggy to discern any major physical shape, though he did not seem overweight nor skinny in any sense of the word. His jaw was angular, but his facial features were still soft, perhaps from some baby-fat that never left. Green eyes wandered over the halls and occasionally fell upon her. His mane was wholly unkempt and quite short by her standards. She was not all that surprised; the infirmary was not conducive to keeping up with personal style.

Stella had enough experience with that.

However, as she continued to stealthily observe him, she was mostly struck with how he had absolutely no coat on him; it was all bare skin as far as she could tell from the small distance.

In the end, she had to concede that he looked a lot better than she expected… then again, she wasn’t sure exactly what she was expecting. Something hideous most likely. Either way, it took all the discipline her military career had to offer to prevent herself from breaking her guard stance, running up to him, and bombarding him with questions.

“Bah, where the hell is… oh! Excuse me?” the human in question called out to Stella, jogging up to her.

There, she couldn’t help but beam with barely bridled excitement. Regulation expressly required (within security parameters) guard troops to answer and assist castle staff and civilians with whatever questions they had.

Fredrick had had enough of this. He had tried to follow Princess Celestia’s directions to his room, but he decided on the bright idea of meandering through the halls for some ‘fresh air.’ What he should have done was take Her Majesty’s offer of escorting him to what would be his sanctuary for the foreseeable future… but nope.

He had to be an idiot.

Still, it was better to deal with that now than bottled up hopelessness and sadness that would break again in the next couple of hours.

“Bah, where the hell is… oh! Excuse me?” Fred called out once he realized that the thing standing by a pillar was actually a guard and not a statue. From the looks of it, they seemed to be a couple inches shorter than him.

All he needed was some proper directions from this point and he’d be on his way. Considering Princess Celestia offered him full residency here in this castle for his troubles, he’d rather begin sulking in the comfort of a bed rather than on stone floor like a true degenerate. He considered stepping out into the main courtyard to check out that night sky he was so fascinated with earlier, but ultimately decided against that as well.

“Awrite there, mate!” the guard suddenly greeted, instantly turning her head to face him.

As for Fredrick, he recoiled at the deathly-still guardpony suddenly turning to him like some doll-centric horror movie. Further, he did not expect someone so oddly happy to see him, nor did he think a Scottish accent would be in order.

“Well… hi there!” he responded, though with understandably less enthusiasm for reasons obvious to himself and a select few others.

“Evenin’! Can I help you?”

“Yeah, actually umm… I’m trying to find the ‘Lunar Residence Hall?’” he asked, figuring his actual question of ‘where the fuck is this goddamn place, Jesus Christ’ was pretty implicit.

His new acquaintance brightened up at his request, and she disengaged her stance to stretch.

“Aye, a bit tint, are ye? No worries, it’s about a seven-minute walk this way,” she gestured down the hall with her thumb, then beckoned him after her. “I’ll show you the way, come on!”

Yet again, this added to his surprise.

“Oh! Well, okay!” Fredrick responded, quickly catching up falling into step with the nice Lunar guard. “B-But that’s really not necessary, you can just point me in the right direction.”

She was having none of it, though. With a quick motion, she lifted her helmet off and held it under her right arm, shaking her ponytail free and letting her mane bounce back to its natural form. Right there, Fred was introduced to the concept of a ‘batpony.’

“Fuck off, I’ll give ye a full tour if ya want,” she said, complemented with an energetic, toothy grin… one which Fredrick had no chance of saying no to. If he had to be completely honest with himself, the way her lips created that slight dimple in her cheek made her seem kinda cute.

Okay, a little more than cute. Her wordage was also a plus.

While he couldn’t see through her armor, it was fitting enough where he could easily infer that she was in incredible shape. The breast plate conformed to her chest, and he would be lying if he said he wasn’t curious about what was underneath.

For purely scientific reasons, of course.

Stop perving. Dem fangs, though. And dem eyes…

“If you insist!” he shrugged, returning her grin with a smirk of his own. Oddly, he wasn’t as tired anymore. This mare radiated energy. “Thank you… very much!”

She nodded emphatically in return.

“Bah, it’s the least I could do to give you a proper welcome. I’m Stella, by the way. Stella Sabre,” she formally introduced herself, stopping the both of them so she could offer her hand to him.

“Fredrick. Fredrick Himmelreich,” he parroted her.

Right in the middle of an unknown corridor, Fred happily planted his hand in hers. He had to quickly compensate as he did not expect such an aggressive, firm deathgrip of a handshake from this mare. Nevertheless, he considered it a success.

“A pleasure to meet you! Now, how about that tour?” Stella teased, not dropping his hand but actually dragging him harshly down the hall.

“WHOA! Okay!” Fredrick quickly caught himself before faceplanting into the stone floor, but kept pace with Stella nonetheless.

This is a really nice woman… or mare. Fuck, that’s gonna take getting used to.

That began the nearly one and a half hour-long tour of the main parts of the castle.

“Alright, so. We just passed the main courtyard. Moving this way, the path we’re on is called ‘Artery 3’ or simply ‘The Lunar Path.’ Now, if you knock about down that way…”

For even a small amount of time, Fredrick had forgotten mostly about why he was even here in the first place, why he would never be able to return to whence he came. Coming here necessarily hurt due to magical burns, but having the truth of the matter laid out to him was probably the greatest wound he had received to date in his life… and he had little idea if that would ever heal. However, Stella was helping him do wonders to stave off the inevitable when he would be alone.

However, this was what life and fate dealt him. While these weren’t the greatest cards in the universe, it could probably be worse; he could be dead right now. In an odd sense, it was helping Fred to think of this as a new start, a chance to potentially make a life for himself in a place where no one knew his name, nor even looked like him. What choice did he have?

Perhaps that would be reasonably challenging, but either way, if there was something his parents would want him to do, it would be just like they’ve always said: ‘There’s no use in complaining when life pegs you with a foot-long dildo. Play with the cards you’re dealt and make a winning hand out of them.’

Okay maybe they didn’t say it exactly like that but close enough. Besides, that’s what it felt like.

Still, Fredrick was certain there was room for a small grieving period. After all, he was just told with near one hundred percent probability that he would never see his home nor his family and friends ever again. He could probably mull over and soak that in over some tears and alone-time with his thoughts.

But now wasn’t this time.

After what seemed like an hour of straight walking and hearing Stella talk animatedly about the castle, he could not help but just marvel at this place’s complexity.

“Wow… this place is huge!” Fred expressed, drawing his eyes all around the dining room. “And again, seriously, this was really nice of you but you didn’t have to do this, honestly.”

Stella glanced over to him, but swiftly dismissed his concerns.

“It was no problem, Fredrick. I should be thanking you, though… never thought meeting a genuine alien would go over as well as it did,” she said. “Heh, I thought you’d be a right fuckin’ cunt, actually.”

Fred laughed for the umpteenth time tonight with Stella alone. Her vernacular was one of the greatest things he had ever heard, and by god he needed these laughs.

“Oh god…” he wiped his eyes. “I’ve just met you Stella, but you kill me already. But yeah, you’re right. You are surprisingly calm right now.”

The two slowed their brisk walk to a gentle stroll for the final leg of the trek to Fred’s room.

“Well, it’s because we have so many different species here in Equestria,” she explained, her hands gesturing emphatically with her speech. “In all honesty, if I didn’t know you you’d been squeezed out of a trans-dimensional vagina, I’d’ve assumed you were just some exotic species from—”

“Luna’s Moon, is that, you know, the thing?” a new, male voice cut off Stella’s musings as the two of them crossed into an intersection.

Fred looked to his left and spied another Lunar guard, and clearly he was talking about him. The human rolled his eyes, but didn’t really fault the dude for placing his rather candid thoughts on the table.

It begins.

The biggest surprise of the whole situation, however, came from Stella. The batpony mare shot her comrade a special look of contempt.

“Shut the fuck up, knobhead!” she roared, causing Fred to nearly leave the floor.

She had his full attention though, and it did not look like the offending guard was in any better shape, especially when Stella elected to continue her tirade.

“Is that how you treat a fuckin’ guest in your house?? Well, you’re from the eastern mountain range so I’m actually not surprised… right twats, the lot of you!”

Stella left Fred’s side and got right in the other guard’s face. Even though she actually had to physically look up to him, he still recoiled.

Fred only watched in fearful awe as a proud guard was instantly turned into a nervous wreck.

“No, we don’t! S-Sorry! I’m sorry, Stella!” he stuttered out.

“And that’s your headline response, aye?!” Stella continued, gesturing aggressively with her hands. “‘Oh I’m sorry’ says the fuckhead, dull-fanged vat of aged smegma!

“Mind yer fuckin’ post, Private Arseclown. And show some respect to our guests, ya fuckin’ savage, or I’ll shit inside your heart! Now!” she threatened.

“Yes, Corporal! O-Okay! Okay!” the guard cowered, but did his best to snap back to his still stance.

Satisfied with her work, Stella huffed and returned to a wide-eyed Fredrick.

Jesus H. Christ, don’t EVER get her angry…

“So, as I was saying,” she resumed speaking and leading the two of them onward. Fred quietly noted how her accent immediately flipped from terrifying back to adorable. “You’ll fit right in with us.”

“Fair enough, but am I safe around you?” Fredrick quipped, earning a sensible chuckle out of the batpony.

“Ahh a cheeky one, eh?” Stella asked rhetorically. “I like you. You’ll definitely fit in here. And hell, if you ever need company and wanna catch a drink from time to time, come find me in the castle’s pub. I’m usually there,” she offered toothily.

That smile was already growing on Fredrick. Perhaps (and a big ‘perhaps’ at that), this would not be so terrible. He mulled over her offer for a second or two.

“Y’know, I’ll probably take you up on that offer really soon.”

He sighed, running his palm over his head and stretching his back before continuing.

“Fuck knows I’m gonna need a few stiff drinks in me for a while.”

“Well, I can definitely help you with that, mate,” Stella said, brightening at the prospects of the near future.

In her mind, she found somepony certainly different, but didn’t annoy the piss out of her. In fact, this otherworldly human actually agreed with her sense of humor and hadn’t gotten scared off just yet. This was all a very good sign, and Stella would make sure that Fredrick could assimilate as easy as possible, on top of what the Princesses would certainly do to help him.

Despite what she’d often say out loud, she always welcomed new friends.

“And let me tell ya,” she voiced, nudged Fred’s shoulder with her own. “Stick with me, and things’ll be alright. I think you an’ I will get on very well.”

A/N: If you recognize Highground, you should. Thanks to Enigmatic Otaku for helping me create a joint canon that spans both our universes.