Pinkie Pie stood at the counter of Sugarcube Corner, whistling to herself as she wiped down its surface with a wet rag. Every so often, she’d stop and wipe the crumbs off into her outstretched hoof, walking carefully over to the trash can and letting them fall before returning to her work.

It was when she was nearly done that she heard the door creak open, and she realised that she’d forgotten to lock it. Without looking up, she said, “I’m super-duper sorry, but Sugarcube Corner closed about an hour ago. You can come back tomorrow morning, though, and I’ll have plenty of scrumptious—” Pinkie looked up, and her eyes widened. “Oh! Rarity!”

“Good evening, Pinkie,” Rarity said, smiling as she shut the door behind her. “I trust that I am not unwelcome?”

“No, not at all—come right in!” Pinkie exclaimed, grinning. “You’re one of my bestest pals in the whole wide world, so of course you're always welcome in my house!” She blinked. “Or, uh, my employers’ house!”

“You’re sure they won’t mind?” Rarity asked, looking concerned as her head darted from side to side.

“Not at all!” Pinkie replied enthusiastically. “Mr. and Mrs. Cake aren’t even here, ’cause they had a biiiig catering job in Vanhoover and you know how long it takes to get there so they decided to stay overnight! And now I’m in charge of the bakery all through tomorrow until they get back, and also I was supposed to put the twins to bed—which I already did, like, twenty minutes ago, so now I’m doing all the cleaning just so everything’s spick-and-span and I don’t have to deal with that tomorrow morning before opening and I don’t have to get up so ridiiiiculously early!” Pinkie stopped to breathe for air. “As you can see, I'm super on top of things.”

“That’s wonderful, darling,” Rarity said. She had taken a seat at one of the tables next to the front window, though the curtains were closed. “Though if I’m being honest, I lost track of the day and thought it was Friday night, when you’re open later. Are you sure I’m not intruding?”

“Nopey-dopey, it’s totally fine!” came Pinkie’s reply as the mare finished wiping down the last section of the counter. On her way over to the table where Rarity sat, she tossed the balled-up rag through the air and it ricocheted off the wall, dropping neatly into a bin in the back of the store. “Ooh, three points!” Pinkie turned back to Rarity as she pulled out the chair opposite the mare and sat down. “Sooo, what can I do you for?”

Rarity looked at the excited face of the pink party pony in front of her. She marvelled at just how much energy Pinkie had even though it was so late in the day, while she herself felt nearly on the verge of collapse. “I’ve just been thinking a lot, darling, and I was hoping we could have a conversation about something.”

"Ooh, sure," Pinkie replied. “What about?”

“Sex,” Rarity said curtly. “I want to ask you about sex.”

Rarity wasn't sure what she thought was going to happen, but it certainly wasn’t that Pinkie’s eyes would light up as much as they did. “Oh my goodness! I love to talk about sex! What part do you wanna talk about? We could talk about ponies we’ve sexed, or what kinds of techniques work the best, or... or... all sorts of things!”

“That sounds wonderful, darling, though I was hoping we could do it somewhere a little more private,” Rarity said carefully.

“What do you mean?” Pinkie asked, raising an eyebrow. She looked around the room and then back at Rarity. “There's nopony here besides you and me, silly.”

“Yes, that is true, but somepony could just waltz in off the street like I did,” Rarity countered.

Pinkie merely giggled and stood up from her seat, sauntering over to the door and sliding the metal lock across with a click. “There, now nopony can interrupt us. Not that they were gonna, anyway.”

“That’s good, darling, but I still think this conversation might be better for somewhere private, like your bedroom. What if the Cakes come home early?”

Pinkie gave Rarity an odd look, somewhere between a suspicious squint and suggestive eyebrow-waggle. “You really wanna go to the bedroom, huh? To talk about sex?” Pinkie asked rhetorically, leaning in and twisting her neck with a sly grin across her face.

“Uh... yes?” Rarity replied, expression uncertain. “That’s not a problem, is it?”

“Oh, no, not at all!” Pinkie said as she bounced away from the table, moving across the room towards the stairs. Rarity got up to follow her. “It’s just been so long since, well, you know, and I never thought you'd ask again, and now I’m super-duper excited ’cause it was so much fun last time and you were super good and—”

“Pinkie!” Rarity exclaimed in a scolding tone as she stood at the foot of the stairs. “What in Celestia’s great green Equestria are you going on about?”

Pinkie stopped about halfway up the stairs, turning to look at Rarity. “You know, last time?”

Rarity raised an eyebrow. “Let’s just get to your room and we can talk about this without any chance of waking up Pound or Pumpkin Cake.”

“Okie dokie lokie!” Pinkie replied, continuing to bound up the stairs—somehow soundlessly, without the expected thumps—and then through the darkened hallway above.

Cautiously, Rarity followed; she wouldn’t have admitted it to anypony, but she was mildly afraid of the dark and as such the hallway put her on edge. She didn’t quite let go of a breath she didn’t even realise she was holding until she reached Pinkie’s bedroom and shut the door tight behind her. Once she had shaken the nervousness from her system with a shiver, Rarity turned to face the centre of the room, where Pinkie Pie lay outstretched across the patchwork blue bedspread.

Exposed.

Rarity sighed and raised a hoof to cover her eyes. “Pinkie…”

“Yes, Rarity?” the pink pony replied, tilting her head. “What's up? How come you put a hoof over your eyes? Ooooh, did you wanna put a cute outfit on me so I can dance around and strip it off super sexily? Lemme check in the wardrobe to see if I have something... I know I used to have these really sexy spandex leggings, but you can never really be sure about what Gummy's gonna eat or not…” Pinkie paused as she hopped up from the bed, and Rarity was able to safely lower her hoof.

“No, Pinkie, I don't think that will be necessary,” the unicorn said flatly.

Pinkie turned, raising an eyebrow. “Huh? What do you wanna do, then?”

Rarity sighed. “When I asked you if we could come up here and talk about sex in your bedroom, what I meant was that I literally wanted to talk about sex in your bedroom. Not a euphemism for the act itself.”

She had expected Pinkie to deflate; on the contrary, the pink mare merely gasped, her eyes wide. “You made that good of an innuendo accidentally?”

Rarity smiled wryly. “I suppose I did, darling. I had no intention of leading you on, so for that I apologise.”

Pinkie giggled and hopped back onto her bed, this time sitting perched on the edge, balancing herself with her forelegs. “It’s no problem, silly! If you didn’t want to have sex, you should’ve just said so in the first place.” The pink mare paused, leaning forward and squinting to eye Rarity suspiciously. “But you wanna talk about sex still?”

“Oh, of course,” Rarity replied with a nod. She turned her head to look near the door, where a small wooden chair sat adjacent to the frame. “Is it alright if I take a seat?”

“Sure!” Pinkie nodded emphatically. “Most ponies who come here to talk about sex sit on the bed, but, uh... this isn't exactly like it is with most ponies.” She paused to stick out her tongue and then adjusted herself so that she lay on her stomach across the bed, head raised to look across the room at where Rarity sat near the door. “So, what specifically do you want to talk about?”

“Hmm... that is a good question, darling,” Rarity said, a thoughtful look across her face. “Where shall we start?”

“Probably at the beginning,” Pinkie replied with a giggle. “Or if you really want, the prologue, but I don't think this story has one. Unless you count that one story, but that’s more of a side-prequel or something.”

Rarity waved a hoof. “No, no, scratch all that. I suppose it’s fair to say that I come to you with some questions. Now, I think it’s safe to say that I know some about your... proclivities when it comes to sex."

“Oh, that I have a lot of it with a lot of different ponies?” Pinkie replied. “’Cause if so, then yeah, that’s totally true. Just like you, right?”

Rarity nodded. “Almost exactly like me, I should think. Why, if it weren’t for my rule to not have sex with my closest friends, I’m sure we would have already.”

Pinkie cocked her head. “Huh? What do you mean?”

It was Rarity's turn to be confused. “You and me, having sex. What is there not to get?”

“No, not that—what’s that about a rule against having sex with your bestest besties?”

Rarity again was confused. “Why, it's exactly how it sounds, darling! Do you need further explanation?”

Pinkie's expression was difficult to read. “But what about last time?”

“I still don’t know what this ‘last time’ is, darling.” Rarity frowned. “Was there another time I came to you to talk about sex?”

Pinkie blinked. “You really don’t remember? I mean, I guess that would make sense since we really did have a lot to drink but I remember it perfectly like it was yesterday when we went down to the bar for my birthday and the rest of the girls went home pretty early but you wanted to stay longer and we got suuuuper plastered and one thing let to another and—”

“Oh my,” Rarity interrupted, blinking with surprise. “You don't mean to suggest...?”

Pinkie’s face slowly transformed into the widest, most devious smirk that Rarity had ever seen. “It was back at the boutique, actually! You brought me there ’cause you were afraid of making noise, and then we went up to your room and—”

“That’s quite enough, darling,” Rarity interrupted, frowning. “I think I’ve gotten the gist of it.”

“Aw, but Rarity!” Pinkie pouted. “If you don’t remember, I wanna tell you all about it to help you remember because it was so, so, so good!”

Rarity pursed her lips. “A lady does not kiss and tell.”

Pinkie giggled. “But aren’t you always telling me that I don’t act like a lady, anyway? C’mon, Rares, it’s only about you, anyway. Plus I know you tell Fluttershy all about everything, so don’t act like you aren’t a kiss ’n’ teller yourself.”

Rarity sighed. “Whatever do you want from me, darling? I’ve told you, I do not wish to know the details, so please, refrain from telling me.”

Pinkie nodded. “I’m sorry, Rares! If you really don’t wanna hear, then of course I won’t tell ya. Even if it was really good…”

“How do you know I tell Fluttershy, anyway?” Rarity asked, shifting gears. She squinted. “Does Fluttershy… tell you?”

Pinkie quickly shook her head, her pink mane flouncing about. “Nope, Flutters would never do such a thing! She really cares about ponies and their secrets, especially when it comes to you, her bestest bestie of all.”

“How, then?”

Pinkie smirked. “Let’s just say that you girls aren’t all that quiet when you talk about it at the spa, and sometimes I can hear you when I go in to get my mane cut.”

Rarity wore a look of surprise. “What?”

Pinkie had a sheepish look. “I’m sorry, I just couldn’t help but listen and—”

“No,” Rarity interrupted. “What I mean to say is… you get your mane cut?”

At that, Pinkie giggled. “I know, it surprised me too!” She reached up and patted her mane, letting it bounce against her hoof a few times. “Crazy stuff.”

Rarity sighed. “Crazy stuff indeed…”

Pinkie rolled over onto her back, leaning her head over the edge so that she was still looking at Rarity. “Hey, you’re upside down!” she exclaimed, watching as Rarity rolled her eyes. “So, what’dja wanna talk about specifically?”

“Well, Fluttershy suggested that you might have ‘insights’ into a... situation I’m in, because you’ve been in a similar situation yourself,” Rarity said, eyeing the pink pony lying before her. “You see, my problem is that I have… a crush.”

Pinkie blinked. “Rarity, you’re silly! Having a crush isn’t a problem at all, no siree. In fact, it’s the opposite!”

Rarity pursed her lips. “You’d think so, wouldn’t you? And yet… I don’t quite know what to do about it.”

“Why don’t you just tell the pony you have a crush on?” Pinkie asked. “I mean, I know it’s different than asking a pony if they want to have sex, but it’s still not really that big a deal. All they can do is say yes or no, right?”

“Well, that’s true…” Rarity replied, nodding slowly, “but I’m also worried that… I don’t know. That she and I will have incompatible sexual habits, or something like that.”

“Oh, that she won’t be okay with casual sexy stuff?”

“Exactly, darling,” Rarity replied. “What if she prefers a monogamous relationship? I’ve been… restraining myself from having sex for the past few months, I suppose to see what that lifestyle is like. And, while it’s not what I prefer, it seems livable.”

“Ooh, now I see why Fluttershy said you should talk to me,” Pinkie said, her expression uncharacteristically concerned. “You know, you shouldn’t have to change yourself like that for anypony, even if you have a crush on them.”

“Right… but I really want it to work between us,” Rarity replied.

“I know what you mean, but you kinda have to realise that sometimes it won’t.” She flashed Rarity a sympathetic smile. “I know I had to date a lot of different ponies before I found my current girlfriend. But it’s all been worth it.” Pinkie flipped back right side up, just to swoon.

“You have a girlfriend?” Rarity asked, raising an eyebrow. “How come you’ve never introduced her to the girls?”

“Oh, I will! We’ve just been waiting for the right time, and she lives out of town so she’s usually really busy with work,” Pinkie replied, grinning. “I think all you girls already know her, anyway.”

“Oh? Who’s the lucky mare?”

Pinkie’s grin widened. “Minuette. You might remember her from Shining and Cadance’s wedding—she’s a friend of Twilight’s. We’ve been dating for… almost six months now, actually! Wow! Time really does like a banana.”

Rarity leapt forward from her seat to pull Pinkie into a hug. “My goodness, darling, I’m so happy for you!”

“Thanks, Rarity!” Pinkie replied, reaching out from the squeeze to give the white mare a little pat on the head. “She’s living in Canterlot right now, but she’s hoping to find a job in Ponyville sometime in the next few months.” Pinkie paused. “But I think what Fluttershy wanted me to tell you about is how we were able to have a talk when we first started dating, and we worked out a way both of us could attend to our own needs and wants, and nopony’s feelings would get hurt! And we still talk about it every so often too, make sure everything’s still going okay.”

“That sounds… really nice,” Rarity replied, looking up at the pink mare whose arms she was now lying in. “I’m glad you were able to work something out, darling.”

“Me too,” Pinkie said, “and I think you’ll be able to do that, too. Maybe not with this mare that you have a crush on right now—though, maybe you can—but there will always be other ponies even if it doesn’t work out.”

“...You’re right,” Rarity said, nodding. “I am being rather silly about this, aren’t I?”

“Only a little,” Pinkie said, stroking Rarity’s mane. “But feelings are usually worth being at least a little silly about. I mean, so are most things—’cause there’s nothing wrong with silly!—but feelings especially. When you get down to it, feelings just kind of are silly to begin with, but that’s part of why they’re so important.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t even tell her at all,” Rarity murmured to herself. “There will be other ponies out there, and… maybe it’s just not worth risking our friendship over.”

“I dunno about that,” Pinkie replied. “Even if you’re worried about what she’s going to say, I still think you should go for it. There’s no way for you to find out unless you ask, right?”

“But what if she rejects me?” Rarity whimpered. “Our friendship is really important to me, and I shudder at the thought that I would cause our friend group to fall apart, especially with actions whose consequences I can foresee.”

“Hmm, that is a toughie,” Pinkie said, nodding knowingly. “But I don’t think you’re really going to be happy until you find out for sure. And I think what we and the rest of the girls have is stronger than something like that—we’ve been through a lot! Plus, even if you think it’s a sure thing, who knows? I just really don’t want you to end up like Applejack...”

Rarity blinked. “Huh? Whatever do you mean about Applejack, darling?”

Pinkie twitched. “Oh no, I didn’t—wait, I didn’t tell you any of the deets, so I’m still keeping my Pinkie Promise. Whew.” She wiped her brow. “That was a close one. Anyway… I’m super-duper sorry, but I can’t tell you. However…”

Rarity looked up at the pink mare’s sly grin. “...I could go ask Applejack herself?”

“Bingo,” Pinkie said with a nod. “Though you were already gonna go do that, weren’t you?”

“Mhmm,” Rarity hummed, nodding. “I’ve been talking to all our friends, and… she’s next on the list.”

“That’s good. I’m sure she’ll be able to show you why you must must must tell this pony.” Pinkie took a deep breath. “Like, for realsies.”

“Er… alright,” Rarity replied with a slight shrug. She shifted forward on the bed a little, pulling herself from Pinkie’s forelegs. “Well, I thank you dearly for all of your advice, darling. Really, it means the world to me that we could have this talk.”

“No problem!” Pinkie exclaimed with a grin, standing up tall on the bed. “That’s what friends are for, right? Talking about sex ’n’ stuff?”

“I suppose that’s one way to look at it,” Rarity said with a wry smile as she pulled herself forward, eventually sliding down so that her hooves softly clicked onto the floor. “Nevertheless… I must now be going. I have a lot to think about, and a farmpony to talk to on the morrow. It has been a pleasure, darling, but I fear I must now retire for the night, until next time.”

“Sure thing!” Pinkie replied, trotting off the bed to stand next to Rarity. “Here, I’ll walk with you to the door.” The pink mare walked past Rarity to open the bedroom door, and then held it open to let her through. Both mares trotted quietly through the dark hallway and down the stairs until they once again had reached the front area of Sugarcube Corner.

“Again, thank you for everything,” Rarity said to Pinkie as they neared the front door.

“Of course,” Pinkie mumbled through her teeth as she pulled the door lock to the side. “Ick, metal doesn’t taste very good.” She turned back to Rarity, and pulled the mare into a hug. “Come back anytime, m’kay? And… after you find out whether you and this other pony will work…” Pinkie cleared her throat, looking shiftily to the side. “...Well, my bedroom door is always open to a friend. Just sayin’.”

Rarity blinked as she pulled away from the hug, stepping towards the door. “You know, I may very well take you up on that sometime. Thank you, darling.”

And, just like that, Rarity trotted out the door, disappearing into the cool night. Pinkie watched as she rounded a corner, heading in the general direction of her boutique, until she was unable to be seen in the light of the streetlamps. With a sigh, Pinkie gingerly shut the door, locked it again, and trotted off back towards the stairs in an almost uncharacteristic silence.

Next Chapter: IV Estimated time remaining: 13 Minutes