Before we start any sort of talk, I need to ask you: Are you a missionary, a megachurch leader or a politician here to talk to me about religion? Because if you are, I respectfully ask that you turn around and leave. And if you want to know why, then listen up.

For the past few months, ever since one of your Texas megachurches rallied their congregation against the “evils of Equestrian heathenism,” we have been dealing with an influx of religious people trying to convert our citizens to your belief systems. Besides the fact that this is EXTREMELY rude, several of these humans have taking to “laying their hands” on ponies and screaming at them while speaking in utter gibberish. I don’t know what kind of mental health practices you have over there, but over here, when we start touching others without their consent, yelling in their faces and speaking nonsense words, we call that crazy.

I cannot, for the life of me, figure out why you have so many people that think all of the ponies are evil because we use “magic.” I did some research on this and found out that some of the same people who believe that, also believe that medical vaccines for your children are evil too. And medicine. And technological advancements. And science of any kind. Basically, your human kingdoms have a serious problem of ignorance over there and now it’s trying to spread over here. We’re aren’t having it. And before you scream “civil rights violation,” remember that your rights don’t exist over here. Our royal leadership has given you the privilege of visiting, which is a privilege which can revoked at any time.

Not a single one of your number who have tried to actively convert us has taken any time to ask what our magic or belief systems are all about. You scream at us and tell us that Celestia and Luna are not gods. You’re right. They’re goddesses. And they care very much about us and have been ruling over us for over a thousand years. If you talked to them, if you got to know them, you’d see that they are some of the sweetest ponies around.

Okay, so Luna did once try to send the world into an eternal darkness. She got better, all right? Who doesn’t have bad days?

All I’m saying is that if you just listened to us, you’d see that we have a wonderful society with a lot to teach you about love, kindness and respect. But I can’t teach you anything if you’re constantly treating me like I’M the ignorant one. At least I know that I don’t know. What about humans?

We’ve been standing in my personal library this entire time. Books upon books of Equestrian lore are here, ready for you to read them. We have histories of magical study, tales about conflict between ponies who put their differences aside for a greater good and entire floor-to-ceiling sections about the values of friendship and learning to care about one another. We’ve so much to teach each other.

So now that you know what we’ve been dealing with, and I can see that you’re willing to stay, and listen, can we start over? I want to get to know you. The real side of humanity. The side we never get to hear about because every time I view your news recordings all I hear about are the bad things and the impending social disasters. Tell me what is beautiful about your world. I have a whole blank section of the library ready to fill up with what makes you wonderful. Give me a reason to put something there. I want to.