She had risked her life and trusted the snake to take her where she wanted, and they were only a few hundred feet above the city. She felt cheated, and deeply wronged.

In answer to her unasked question regarding why the hell they hadn't actually gone any where important, his emotional tone dropped back in."I only made the gateway to go up. If I had been trying to make one to go anywhere else, we would’ve been waiting for forty minutes or more instead of two.” She still wanted to cut him.

“What now? We wait until we hear the screams, or we wait until the giant monster shows up, or what?” She sighed, tucking her wings in to dive a bit before rising back up to Marty’s level. “You know, he could’ve gotten his fur dyed. I never thought of that.” A few possibilities burbled out and trickled by her concentration.

“Anything can go wrong, but we search. As for a giant monster, well, you’ll learn why I call myself Marty Stu if we need to deal with one.” He looked at the ground in one of the least helpful ways she could imagine.

She looks along the ground, her eyes zooming in below, almost in an effort to out do his pathetic attempts. “This is kinda pointless.” She noted. “How does this help me anymore than if I did this without you? In fact, I would’ve made more progress if I HADN’T MET YOU.” She knew she shouldn’t take it out on the guy who could tear holes in space, but it was just too good of an opportunity high in the sky.

“Perhaps, but at least this way you have a direction, a companion, and a quick means of escape.” He closed his mouth, thankfully, but seemed to relax.

Her mind pricked with more of a headache and she felt her stomach rebel lightly. She was flying, separate from her pain killers. Her wing felt like it was slowly tearing off and her heart beat faster everytime she thought about her actual goal.

She growled quietly. “Can you please get angry or something? Give me something to do BESIDES BROOD IN MY FAILURE?” She screeched loudly, closing her eyes. “I wanted you to find him, not be there when I did.” She stopped and forced her beak shut, tightening down in an excellent imitation of a nut cracker.

“Your failure? What failure? I’m fairly certain you’re the one who didn’t leave their friends behind.. without.. telling... them.” He had the nerve to facepalm at her, like she had done something wrong or stupid. “I don’t think you left a message as to where you went, did you?”

“Yeah? Fuck them. They can look up if they want to see me.” She rolled her eyes. Gee, you think it would occur that she had thought about that? “Look, I...” She shook her head again, fairly certain that she was going to make herself dizzy. “I owe him my life. AGAIN. I’m not the sort that takes that lightly.” She rationalizes, throwing her gaze back to the ground.

“Life debts are fun in that sort of way. I don’t take mine lightly either. I owe six mares my life and my sanity, and I still watch out for them when I can.” He cracked his neck, making her cringe as it reminded her of her desire to snap his. “But that’s neither here nor there.”

“You sound like an old bastard, about to moan about how unsatisfying life is and how I should enjoy it while I’m young.” She groaned. “Can you add something that would actually help me to the conversation?”

“Nothing that wouldn’t sound trite. And I think both of us have heard enough hollow platitudes.” He seemed to chuckled internally.

She sighed. Might as well try and get some information. Something clicked from throwing together words in her head. “So... Soul bonds. What do you know about that sort of thing?” Her voice felt softer, less harsh, more polite.

“Depends on what you mean by a soul bond. My equipment has small pieces of my soul in it, and it’s bound to me that way, but I get the feeling that’s not what you mean.”

“Apparent-” She paused, a flash of black and white below her. She felt her face brighten up. She swooped down at a nightmarish speed, ignoring her body screaming at her that she was going too fast for her wings.

"What are you doing?” Ha. He looked a little unnerved. It almost made up for the fact that she had been mistaken.

She rose back up quickly, her face torn in anger. “Fucking zebras.” She snarled, knowing she looked half rabid and delighting in it. “Why the hell do they all look the same?”

“To confuse predators.” Marty said, clearly without considering her thoughts on the matter.

Her glare could easily kill those with with less bravery. “Does your stupidity ever end? Damn. I thoug-” She shook her head. “Think happy thoughts, keep concentrated.” She looked down once more, scanning the crowd.

Very quietly, he replied “No. I wish it would.” She was torn between laughing at him and listening closely. “Surely he’s outside the city by now.”

“Can’t you use some kinda magic thing to track him? You can tear gaping holes in time in space but you can’t find a zebra?” She tried to goad him into action. Do something. Damn you.

“If I thought I was going to need to find him, I would’ve woven something over him earlier, or given him a good luck charm made out of metal or something. I’m powerful, but useless for some things. This is is one of those things.” Of course he was useless. Why would fate ever give her anything she can work with?

“So... useless. Just what I thought.” She huffed again, turning away, her face twisted in worry. “Damn it all.” She needed to find him.

“Could be worse, I could be a groundpounder, but have the only hope of finding him in time, rather than flying and have an idea of what direction he is.” Marty said nonchalantly, as if he wasn't aware of just how bad the situation was.

She looked blankly at him, her mind abuzz with everything. “I hate you. Just. So much fucking hate. If I had magic I’d cast whatever and you’d die.”

“I’m sorry I’m not better company, but I figured you’d prefer me acting like this than my other alternative of brooding, angst-ridden depressed idiot.” Marty sighed “And I don’t want to inflict that on anyone.”

She looked around at the clear blue skies, trying to ignore her growing anxiety. “Would you be more helpful?” She bit her tongue lightly and flew off farther ahead of him.

“Probably not, plus I’d probably make you either more angry, or more angsty yourself.” He shut up, then, against all logic or air flow, ascended 100 feet into the air as simply as she could.

“Look, I think we should make slow spiral around, looking for him. Maybe see if you can taste his insanity or something.” She groaned. “I need to find him.” She didn't mean to say that out loud.

“Doubtful I’ll be able to do that, but I’ve heard worse ideas.” He soared around in a circle, looking all the while like an idiot, before he pointed off in a random direction. “This way.”

She followed doubtfully, but didn’t voice her complaints. “Say. How good is your fighting?”

“Depends on what I’m using and if I’m allowed to channel or not. Why do you ask?” He looked back at her, almost clueless. She decided to give him a fair warning, at least.

“It’s Ivan. After a while, you stop questioning if you’ll have to fight something. You just assume you’ll be fighting something and leave it at that.” She shrugged, correcting her flight path to stay level with the snake.

“That sounds like me in a lot of ways. It’s not an if so much as a when for fighting something around me. Though a long time can and has passed between such shenanigans.” He went silent, as if he noticed that she didn't really care about his life story. “Assuming I’m not taken out immediately by an ambush, I should be able to handle most problems.”

“How well will you do with fighting someone without killing them?” She asked curiously, aware of the forshadowing in her tone. “It fits the next cliche.”

“Assuming I don’t have to do that to something like ten people at once, I can just bind them up in flows of air. That also makes for great practical jokes.”

“If you touch me I will kill you. There is nothing on this planet that will stop me.” She threatened. The mere thought of his scales next to her skin made her want to jump into lava.

“I kid, I kid. I wouldn’t do anything like that to someone I didn’t consider a friend, and was sure they considered me one as well.” Damn right she wasn't his friend. “But yeah, I have some really funny practical jokes I can pull.”

She nodded like she was listening, or even cared. “Yeah yeah. I’ll invite you to entertain for my kids. Bobo the clown.”

“You would use someone who looks like me to entertain children? That drops you from the potential babysitter list.” He spun her statement around as easily as she didn't want him to, startling her from her thoughts.

She glared and sputtered. “Do yo- What i- Wh- I HATE YOU.”

He took off in a slightly different direction, and she followed.

She lets out a strangled scream of frustration. “Dick.” She finally said.

They flew along in silence.

She cleared her throat, a thought occurring to her. “How the fuck did he get this far? It’s only been a day.”

“Blind panic? Galloped till he passed out from exhaustion? We’re searching the wrong area? It could be any number of things. I don’t know.” She didn't voice her doubts on his sanity, or the doubts on everything else he had done so far. “Catastrophe, help me find water.”

She sighed. “Can’t you cast waterfall or something?” She descended closer to the ground. “I still hate you by the way.”

“It doesn’t work like that. I can’t create something out of nothing, and for finding material, I can only find metal. Which makes it really easy for me to get the raw materials for my job, but makes finding actually useful things difficult. Now then, let’s find water so we can set up camp.”

She nodded. “Mind that you keep your guard up.” She mumbled, turning away. Even from where she was, she could hear the sound of water slipping through the landscape. Even an idiot could've heard it. “I just might slit your little throat and watch the blood run down your scales.” She flew up higher. “Water.”

“As in you found some, or as in you want some?” He once again defied all explanation and flew up into the air.

She pointed down with a talon. “There’s a stream, dumbass. I can hear it from here.”

“Thank you.” He flew down and she felt herself smile, waiting for him to crash. Unfortunately, this didn't happen, and instead, his wings pulled back and formed a sort of air brake, slowing his speed. And then his wings disappeared.

“So, not that I really care, but for the sake of you actually telling me something vaguely important, What. The. Fuck. Are. You. Doing.” She dove from the sky and landed gracefully, her wings puffing out at the last second and slowing her down dramatically. Ha. Suck it, she was still the master of the skies around here.

He turned to watch her, his impassionate eyes trailing across her. “I give that landing a nine out of ten, ten being perfect. As for what I’m doing, I’m warding the perimeter of the camp. I don’t exactly like the idea of waking up in someone else’s stomach, in chains, or robbed.”

She blinked, a bit of pain clouding her thoughts and making her wish it upon everyone else. “They better explode. Can you make them explode?” She looked down. “Nononon. You should make them bleed out from their pores.” She smiled sickeningly, licking her beak. “Or or...” She trailed off, looking off into the distance.

“While I can do that... A ward that makes an alarm is a better idea. If I did what you’re asking, we’d have everything from snakes to dragons dying if they even brushed the edge of the ward, and I do not want the death of some traveler or kid on my conscience.”

“Yeesh, what are you, some kinda good guy? Who cares about a kid? Or some traveler. It would be their own damn fault for trying to sneak up on us.” She sighed. “Hey, you getting hungry, I’ll go hunt.”

Ignoring her attempts to get him to react in a way she could take advantage of, the snake replied. “Yes I am, but you don’t have to go hunting if you don’t want to, I have more than enough food for the both of us.”

She blinked. “Ever kill a dog or something? Oh, you probably have some sort of deep dark inner hatred for slavers. Or some other random things to do with children?” She sighed. “And don’t bull shit me about the food. I’ll go hunt, you survive on whatever things you brought.” She turned away.

He called out to her. “Hold off for a moment. You won’t want to miss this.” He reached into his pack and pulled out a rather large horn. She stared at it for a long moment, wondering what the hell was wrong with the world.

“Ewe’ve got to be kidding me.” She turned back around. “Have fun with your... horn.”

He raised the horn up to his mouth and decided to taunt her. “Behold!” And then he blew into the horn. The noise made her want to bury her talons into her ears. A table appeared in front of him when she turned back around, a chain beside her with all the things she could ever want to eat in a meal, meat, a few random fruits, that sort of thing. On his side, meat of all sorts appeared.

She stopped cold. She sputtered for something to say for a long moment and then relaxed, almost melting into the chair. What was the point in resisting? He could summon food and who knew what else.“So. Wards. They work?” She said feeling far more relaxed than earlier.

“Yes. And to your earlier question, I don’t have an inner hatred for slavers, it’s entirely visible for the brief seconds I’m around them. As for children, I’m a parent. You don’t want someone else to hurt your kids, so you don’t potentially hurt theirs.” He sat down in a chair obviously designed for his long tail.

She nodded. She had to try and get something useful out of this. “So. Any chance that you could make alarm wards last forever?”

“Sure, but if I’m only going to be staying in place for one evening, and plan on crossing them myself eventually, why do so?”

“Could you say, key them to a certain location? Like, make it tell whoever is inside of the ward when someone crosses it?”

“I see what you’re getting at, but at best I could make it tell me what type of creature crossed the ward. Which, trust me, can be very useful. Knowing whether it’s a small critter or a monster is knowledge you definitely want.”

She held out a talon without looking at him, her face a perfect picture of distaste. “Tents.”

“I only brought mine with me.” Looking about for a moment, Marty looked back at her. “I’ll let you use it for the evening.”

She felt a seething layer of disgust pop up at the suggestion and she crushed it under her proverbial foot.

She sank a daring death glare on him, wishing him to catch on fire or show some reaction to her rising ire. “Like hell. I’ll sleep outside of the tent, I’m not going to find myself in your ‘debt’ or whatever you could use as an excuse to see me again after this.”

“Suit yourself. I was only being the gentleman, err, snake.” Marty resumed eating.

“So. Human, right?” She asked curiously, smirking. She knew something he didn't.

“I think that word still applies to me. Why do you ask?” Marty looked at her, and she could practically hear and see the gears in his head click in thought.

“No reason. None at all.” She remained smirking, delighting in actually knowing something the snake didn’t. She looked away. “You can’t read minds, right?”

“No, but I could force you to tell me. And if we’re talking about humans, yes, I do know that Ivan is one. He told me himself.”

She smiled even wider. “Oh? But you wouldn’t force me to tell you. That would go against your... ‘morals’. I figured Ivan told you.” She stretched out, cracking her back, relieving the tension bound up in there.

“Less morals so much as I’m terrified of what someone else would use my abilities for if they controlled my mind, so I refrain to avoid karmic retribution. There are of course exceptions that I will use the full power of my compulsion on others.”

She shrugged. “Whatever. I just know stuff you don’t and that makes me happy.” She blinked. “Wow. That kinda sounds petty, but you are a bastard so I don’t care.”

“Eh, everybody knows something someone else doesn’t. I’d rather not know everyone else’s secrets.”

She sighed. “Damn it. You are both the most infuriating and the most boring person I have ever met. Geez, at least give me a hint of what to say to piss you off? Give me a little something to work with? It’s not like you are going to start a conversation I can relate to easily, and fuck it if you expect me to start something about what I think.” She looked at him. “Also, you creep me out.”

“I could give you something to annoy me with, I could even give you something that would likely anger me. I don’t want to kill you, so I’m not going to give you something that pisses me off.” Marty cocked his head to the side. “Boring is good, boring is in fact really nice. I’ve had way too much excitement in my life. And no, I’m not talking about rescuing a runaway zebra.” He sighed “I really hope you never see what I consider excitement.”

She winced. “Probably involves trying to be in multiple places at once trying to fix things and then something exploding.” She thought back to a few airship disasters and almost felt bad.“At any rate, what should I avoid? Not mention I eat animals or something else?”

Marty started to laugh. “Have you noticed what I’m eating? Bloody and cooked meat? Catastrophe, I’m a freaking carnivore, and I’ve hunted and butchered my own meat before.” Marty chuckled some more. She was tempted to see how well a dart could pierce his throat. “So no, it’s not eating animals.”

“So? Just because you are a carnivore now doesn’t mean that you weren’t a vegetarian before. It would just be delicious irony if the sight of blood shed turned your stomach and you were a carnivore. And fate is a fucking bitch.” Her talons dig into the earth as she choked back her rage at being laughed at. “Fuck you, by the way.”

“I’ve only been a vegetarian when it was forced upon me. Not to say that I didn’t enjoy a nice salad every now and again, or a good piece of broccoli, but I prefer to be omnivorous.” He had the nerve to smile, AND continue talking. “Fate is the largest bitch ever. What I wouldn’t do to find that cunt and gut her.” He looked at her with a maddening smile on his serpentine face. “No thanks, but thank you for the offer anyways.”

She stopped moving for a long second. “You know, I’ve always wondered what snake tasted like. Do you think poison would spoil the flavor?” She spoke in a straight voice, though it seemed laced with death. She let out a tiny warning tell on purpose to inform him that pushing it further would probably end badly.

“Chicken. Snake tastes real similar to chicken. And you have to be careful to avoid the glands, but other than that no worries about the poison.” Marty looked over at her and smiled.

She smiled back just as sweetly, maybe sickly sweet. “Not the kind of poison I had in mind.” She smirked and turns away. “You value friends, right?”

Marty nodded his head. “My memories of my friends, lovers, and children are the only things I get to keep. So value is a rather weak word for them.”

“Hmph. Found a weakness.” She mused, but shook her head. “Not going to push that one, family is something people shouldn’t joke about.” She shrugged. “Was fairly easy to get that from you though. Are you normally that easy to get information from?” Why did he give up information? SHE CLEARLY HATED HIM.

“Depends on the information, and how much I care about keeping it a secret. Most normal, rational beings value friends and family. I like to think that I’m rational.” He looked slightly confused.

“Rational. Tell me, do you know enough to keep your fucking mouth shut for a change about something?” She looked away and curled up against the ground, her wings falling to her side.

“Good night, Catastrophe.”

“One thing. Do you think it will work out?” She didn’t even mean to say it, put it felt good to actually confront the issue. “You know what I’m talking about, right?” She let out a frustrated growl. “All I need is a yes or a no.”

“Yes Catastrophe. Everything will work out.” She felt an enormous amount of hope flare up.

“You sound like a teacher. Good night, you fucking dick snake.”

She closed her eyes and drifted off to a better place, one where snakes didn't haunt her.