"Ivan?" Someone was shaking me hard. I would almost assume the person was desperate for whatever reason. "Are you ok?"

"Ehhhhh.?" I grumbled out, still confused. I cracked open my eyes. "Boss?" A pair of expressive eyes rested on mine.

Her face was inches from mine. I turned an odd shade of red. "Ivan?"

"She's your dog, right? Does she come when you call?"

Malice's voice echoed through my head and I could almost see the smirk on his face. I tried not to gag at the implication.

She shook me again, her eyes narrowing. "Good. You're awake. I was getting worried for a second."

"She totally likes you. Dude. You gonna tap that?"

I closed my eyes. "Uh... what happened?" I scuffed the ground with a hoof.

Malice continued to be obnoxious. "You are in a dungeon. There are chains on the wall. Anybody else thinking bondage?"

"You opened the door and a piece of the ceiling fell off and knocked you out cold. Oh, and don't worry. I heard you moaning in your sleep and I won't tell anyone about your little crush." She was smirking when I reopened my eyes to look at her.

She dropped me against the ground and I gagged in the dust cloud it kicked up into the air. "Crush?" I winced a hair.

"Oh, and about being faster and harder to kill? I lied. I do now own your soul though. It tastes kinda... appley. Like, you ever had a really good apple that just stuck in your mouth for a LONG time? It's like an apple lollipop. Except, made of souls. A soulipop."

"-eard my name." She looked at me. "Are you even listening?"

"Sorry, what?"

She rolled her eyes. "Never mind. Just. Never mind. It doesn't matter anymore."

I blinked. "Ok then."

-----------

"Ivan! You won't believe what the Flock found!" Canary looked far too excited for it to be anything but a bad idea.

"What?" I half asked, half hid.

"We found booze! It would do you no harm to get drunk and let loose for awhile. Might help with those wrinkles on your brow."

I instinctively felt my forehead for wrinkles. "How much booze?"

"Enough to make up for the fact that the Magickers are dead and we attacked them while you were sleeping and didn't tell you?" He said in a single breath, his smile wavering.

"W-what?" I half slurred, biting my tongue in surprise. "You... defeated them?"

"AND FOUND BOOZE! And we only kinda defeated 'em. They were already dead when w' got there." He cheered.

"Are you drunk?"

"Just a hair. Come on! We've got to celebrate. Most of the Flock is waiting on you and they are getting antsy and I think there was a bar fight..." He looked a little nervous.

"Fine..."

The magickers were dead. And my men were all drunk. This seems like a good idea! Sarcasm.

----

Which is how I found myself forced to drink beer so that the rest of my troops didn't riot and force me to step down from my post an owner of the island. The room I stepped into looked like some odd entertainment stage, tables scattered about and drinks on all of them. A rickety wooden stage sat at the back of the room.

"Ish good Boosh. Try it!" Canary forced a cup next to me.

I detested the smell and taste of alcohol. It smells like paint thinner and honestly I thought that most alcohol tasted the same.

Canary smashed his face into his glass on the wooden table they had presented me with and started lapping up his poison of choice.

I cautiously lapped at the drink in front of me and tried not to let on how my eyes were watering from it. And then my eyes shot open as a sensation far surpassing any previous experience swept across my mind like a mint explosion. I shoved my muzzle down into it and drank the rest as quick as I could.

Canary looked at me expectantly and I smiled at him. "It's good."

He slammed another glass towards me. "Come on! Looshen up!"

I lifted up with a bit of magic and chugged it down. "Yeah! Let there be fun!" I shouted.

Suddenly, the room erupted into cheers as the rest of my troops poured into the room and almost began dancing. And they were dancing! The room was swaying and stuff and it all felt really good.

Canary put a hoof on my shoulder. "Ivan! Thish ish the besht idea eversh."

Boss was next to me, her light tan fur swirling around my eyes in a whirlwind of color. "You guys are Canaries, right? Go sing!"

Canary pushed and tugged me on what little of a stage there was in the odd club setting we were in.

"OOOHHH! I HAVE AN IDEA."

And then the room filled with the sound of trumpets and smooth swing jazz and an unexpected clarity swept through my addled mind.

Canary tapped his hoof against the ground. His eyes widened, and he nodded. "Nice beat. Time to swing?"

"Yeah. Can'."

And the song started. "Like the wall paper sticks to the wall!" Canary called out. Someone tossed a gem on the stage and it glowed and amplified his voice.

"Like the sea shore clings to the sea!" The air rang like a bell tolling out it's destined tune.

"Like you'll never get a rid of your shadow..." He paused for only a second. "Ivan you'll never get rid of me!

The crowd was piqued in their curiosity, though really they were far too drunk to care.

"Let all the others, fight and fuss. Whatever happens..." I followed, my lips moving without command.

"We've got us!" We both chorused.

"Me..." I started, the atmosphere happy and cheery and bright.

"We're closer than pages that stick in a book." Canary was lying, but it didn't matter.

"And my shadoooooooooowwwww..." I made the last note last long after it was due.

"We're closer than ripples that play in a brook." He twirled around and my eyes followed him in reflex.

"Strolling down the avenue." There was another long pause. "Wherever you find him, you'll find me, just look."

"Closer than a cave in or the dead is to ravens. Me..." Canary took his turn with the lead line.

"We're closer than dogs when it comes to their gems." I had to ad lib like mad. The words flowed smoothly, their liquid gold feel still intruding upon my mind.

"And my shadow..." The crowd looked like they were enjoying it, the few that weren't passed out.

"We're closer than Skinner was, to his brims." I threw out a reference to him just to make sure that I wasn't coming off as an insensitive bastard.

"Not a soul can bust this team in two. We stick together like glue" A nice unison part only accentuated when Canary broke down into a bit of coughing at the end.

"And when it's sleeping time." I tapped my left front hoof against the stage. My eyes slid over the disorderly rabble that was an insult to anything resembling hardened warriors.

"That's when we rise..." Canary's voice was starting to waver a bit. It unnerved me.

"We start to swing!" Floyd looked to have a small group following him as he heavily exaggerated some tale from the mines.

"Swing to the skies..." I couldn't find Terror anywhere in the crowd.

"Our clocks don't chime..." I couldn't stop singing.

"What a surprise..." Canary rasped.

"They ring-a-ding-ding! Happy New Year!" And then previously unseen fire crackers detonated at the foot of the stage, obscuring my view of the crowd in a smoke cloud.

"Me..." We both had a massive smile on our faces and I was the most relaxed I had been since I had been on the island.

"And now to repeat what I said at the start." Canary swayed on his hooves. I walked over to him and propped him up against me. The smoke cleared.

"And my shadoooow." The crowd was in a drunken state of happiness. The trumpets blared louder still, echoing across the stage like some far away memory of golden times ages past.

"They'll need a large crowbar to break us apart!" Disconsolate was happy and he was echoing us with a metallic hum.

"We're alone but far from blue." Our voices almost sounded as one.

"Before we get finished, we'll make the world roar." I accentuated it by throwing my head back.

"We'll kill all the slavers, and then a few more." He was visibly wheezing.

"We'll wind up right back here once we even the score."

"Life is gonna be we-wow-whee!"

"For my shadow and me!"

The last notes trickled off stage and we stood there for an awkward moment until Canary slumped against me in a faint. I let him hit the ground beside me as there was not a soul in the crowd that wasn't completely wasted.

I followed Canary's idea and slumped to the floor, all of my clarity leaving me in a single whoosh of alcohol induced silliness.

"Messing with you is such fun."

Prepare for wtf moments.