Rainbow Dash rubbed her head. It hurt, to say the least. Of course, that was both a good thing and a bad thing. It was bad because it hurt, but good because after over a decade of heavy drinking Rainbow Dash had finally found a type of alcohol potent enough to give her a hangover.

She had, of course, spent most of the night drinking while overseeing search parameters and reviewing reports. Then, of course, she had been unceremoniously awakened extra early, to the point where she had actually punched the assistant who had woken her up. Twilight was requesting her presence, and as far as Rainbow Dash knew, Twilight never slept.

Rainbow Dash looked back at the group of assistants following behind her. Two were male, and one was a slightly bruised female. They were different from the ones she had brought with her before, but they were all functionally the same so it did not matter terribly much. Their only job was to get Rainbow Dash what she needed, and to relay the information she gave them to the rest of the fleet, coordinating its effort and taking information from Rainbow Dash only when it was critical.

“You,” said Rainbow Dash to the female. “Do you know where Captain Scootaloo is today?”

“Checking,” she said, opening an interface to the Harmony. The violet text scrolled past in front of her as she walked. “Yes. Captain Scootaloo is currently in the deck six temporary commissary.”

“Commissary? Why isn’t she eating in the private quarters I gave her?”

“I am not aware if she is eating. I would posit that she may be speaking to a member of her crew, or waiting for the RENS Rainbow Dash to be repaired.”

Rainbow Dash groaned. She hated that name for that particular ship. It was not fast, and it was terribly ugly. She would have preferred her name given to a galactic cutter, or maybe a long-range destroyer. Instead she got an old freighter. It was unpleasant, but Rainbow Dash was on some level flattered that Scootaloo would name the ship after her and had as such granted her that right.

Hoofsteps rapidly approached, and a pair of violet mechanical alicorns fell in line with Rainbow Dash’s breeders. Rainbow Dash had never really been clear on what the alicorns were made of, just that it was something like ceramic and both hard and shiny. In all honesty, she found their pupilles, blank eyes somewhat disturbing. They were a critical part of the Harmony, though, and Twilight seemed to prefer them.

The air next to Rainbow Dash flickered and resolved into a violet, translucent hologram of a pony that pretended to walk beside Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash could not help but sigh. Twilight almost always preferred to have her “self” appear as that hologram, but it was actually redundant. Every one of her hundreds of alicorn drones were directly connected to her mind; she could have spoken through any of those just as well. Instead, she preferred to retain a useless vestige of her long-lost ponyhood.

“This had better be good, Twilight,” said Rainbow Dash. “I was having the best dream…there were marshmallows, and- -”

“And Rarity?”

Rainbow Dash’s eyes widened. “How did you- -”

“You talk in your sleep. That, and marshmallows and Rarity are mutually inclusive. On account of her color and comparatively high body fat percentage.”

“I get the joke. You don’t have to make it all science-y.”

“‘Scienc-y’ is not a word. You mean ‘scientific’. And you would not have understood the joke if I had not explained it.”

“I have things to do, Twilight.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Yeah, I do. I’ve got to track down where that Core went.”

“I already did.”

“You what- -I mean, where?”

“Here. It is in my care now.”

“But- -how- -”

“While you were sleeping, I was contacted by the local population. They offered to return the Core to me.”

“You WHAT? Twilight, have you cracked a fuse?”

“I do not have fuses. But if I did, they would be quite functional.”

“You know we can’t trust ALIENS!”

“Can’t we? They performed your job far faster and with far less expense of resource than it would have been if, well, it had been done by you.”

“Twilight, you’re being naïve! What did they ask for in return?”

“Nothing, yet. Which is why we are going to speak with them.”

“You mean right now? As in now now?”

“Yes.”

“As in they are currently on the ship?!”

“Yes.”

“And you just let them here?!”

“This ship is my body,” said Twilight, somewhat firmly. “I will allow landing as I see fit.”

“I get that, but…aside from that sounding dirty- -that’s a terrible idea!”

“I am tracking their positions right now. They cannot escape me. That, and Fluttershy has been kind enough to give me more than enough information on their biology and culture. I do not view them as a threat, not to me.”

“Yeah, and I once thought the same thing about the Crystals. And do you know what they did? They pulled off my wing!”

“I highly doubt these aliens will pull off your wing.”

“I know,” said Rainbow Dash, on the verge of reluctant aquiescence. “But I just don’t like the idea of dirty aliens walking around, getting alien skin cells and alien germs all over the- -”

Rainbow Dash rounded the corner, and promptly ran nose-first into the nose of a gray-skinned, foul smelling alien.

“Pone,” said the alien, her blue eyes narrowing on Rainbow Dash.

“Alien!” cried Rainbow Dash, jumping into the air and clinging to one the Twilight robots.

“Bob!” cried a male voice from behind the female. She looked around, somewhat confused, and then slowly rose, standing on two legs until she towered over the ponies, a biped clad in white armor. To Rainbow Dash, she was a terrifying and hideous giant, a true monster.

The owner of the second voice came jogging over. He was not nearly as bad looking, with pale white skin and a pleasant yellow mane. His eyes were blue, but not as nocturnal as those of the other- -but somehow as unpleasant and dead as those of the alicorn automatons.

“I so want to taste that rainbow,” said the female, looking wide-eyed at her associate.

“My apologies,” said the male. “She tends to get antsy waiting.”

Twilight stepped forward. “I am Twilight Sparkle, Fourth Goddess of Equestria and Princess of Friendship. The rainbow you seem to wish to taste is Fleet Commander Rainbow Dash. The others are- -”

“Not of consequence,” said Rainbow Dash, dropping down from the glassy model of Twilight. She looked up at the pair of aliens. “I’m actually surprised you can talk.”

“You’re not the one talking to a pone right now.”

“Please excuse her course, banal, idiotic, insensitive behavior,” snapped the male. “My name is Marc Antony, and this is my associate- -”

“Boss!”

“- -Bob. We are humans of the planet Earth, and we humbly greet you, your highness.”

“You say you are both human,” said Twilight. “But the female is made mostly of organic material save for her right arm, while your body consists entirely of metal, plastic, and ceramic. You are not the same species.”

“Oh, no,” said Marc Antony. “I was not expecting you to notice. No, I’m not actually human, but I like to consider myself one in an honorary sense.”

“A fully automated machine?” Twilight’s eyes widened and she stepped forward, admiring the creature like some kind of specimen. “Fascinating. We have remote operated clockwork mechanisms on Equestria, but nothing like you. I’d love to see how you work.”

“Oh, my. Princess, I’m flattered, but I think our relationship is a little too young for that right now.”

Rainbow Dash had not realized that alicorn holograms could blush. She put her hoof against her forehead, feeling her migraine only increasing. “Look,” she said, pushing past Twilight. “Can you just show me the Core? The one you supposedly brought us?”

“Yes,” said Twilight. “She’s over here.”

Twilight walked several yards down the hallway that Marc Antony and Bob had been waiting in, and turned her attention toward an otherwise blank and white wall. Her magic reconfigured the molecular nature of the wall, causing it to become transparent.

Rainbow Dash walked up to the newly formed window and looked through. The Core was, indeed, there, held vertically in the center of a large white room in a construct made from plates of violet magic that held all four of her legs. The Core looked up, and for a moment Rainbow Dash felt sorry for a pony with such a defeated gaze- -until she remembered that it was just a Core. It was not even a pony at all.

“We are at present building her a temporary housing for transport back to Equestria,” explained Twilight. “Once she is returned, she will be moved to a permanent housing in a new vessel.”

“I’ve read her specifications. Is there any chance she could get out of there?”

“No. I am currently suppressing all magic and ‘mass-effect’ fields within the Harmony. Which, of course, means that your weapons will not work here.”

“Of course. I would only expect as much.”

“Wait, I wouldn’t expect as much,” protested Bob. “I like shooting things. Ideally using guns.”

“But not here,” hissed Marc Antony. “Isn’t that right, Bob?”

Twilight looked into the room at the suspended pony, and then returned the opacity of the wall. She began walking, and Marc Antony fell in step with her. Bob stayed in the back, looking around at nothing in particular.

“I don’t like this,” said Rainbow Dash. She looked up at the blond man. “You’re just giving her to us? Why?”

“I represent a private entity called Cerberus,” explained Marc Antony. “We are primarily a research institution devoted toward practical scientific advancement with the hope of creating a better, safer galaxy for our home system and the human race as a whole.”

“A research institute, you say?” said Twilight, leaning closer to him, intrigued. “What type of research, exactly?”

“Well, much of it is classified, but much of it involves medical interventions and defensive solutions.”

“Weapons, you mean,” said Rainbow Dash.

“Sometimes, yes, I admit,” said Marc Antony. “But only with the goal of protecting ourselves. This galaxy, you will find, is a hostile place with numerous warring species. Humanity is a comparative newcomer to the often treacherous galactic community and has generally been at a tactical disadvantage for some time.”

“Eyes brown yet, Marc?” asked Bob.

Marc Antony turned to glare at Bob. As he did, a small toothy creature ran past the group.

“Puppy!” cried Bob, following the tiny varren toward the shadows of a narrow alley. Marc Antony thought he saw a figure standing in the shadows, and he paused, peering into the darkness.
Inside was a yellow winged pony with pink hair, just staring at them with enormous blue eyes- -or, more specifically, staring at Bob. She did not speak, nor did she move. She just watched, not even taking her eyes away as the varren stepped beneath her, nuzzling her ankels

“Aliens…” whispered the pony at last.

Marc Antony felt a bump on his side. One of the nameless white ponies was pushing him. “It is best not to look her in the eyes,” he suggested.

“Right. Come on, Bob.”

“But I want to pet the puppy! I love puppies!”

“If you touch it, you might get scale-itch.”

“Come on, Marc, I already have scale-itch and you know it.”

“What is ‘scale-itch’?” asked Twilight.

“You want to find out?”

“No, she doesn’t,” said Marc Antony, pulling Bob away from the unblinking stare of that oddly terrifying creature lurking in the darkness. As they left, he looked back to see her still watching them from behind- -and he momentarily thought that her eyes looked a slightly different color than they had been before.
“I’m still having trouble understanding why you helped us,” said Rainbow Dash, still suspicious of the aliens.

“Simple, really. Earth, unfortunately, has comparatively few allies and a great many enemies. You are new to our community, so Cerberus sent us to extend a metaphorical olive branch. It is the illusive man’s hope- -and mine, if I may say so- -that with this gesture, our races might become friends.”

“Friendship,” said Twilight. “I do like the sound of that.”

“I suspected you might.” Marc Antony looked around the ship. “In all honesty, your spacecraft is truly amazing. Our words’ technology appears to have progressed in completely different directions.”

“Thank you,” said Twilight. “I am the most advanced ship in all of Equestria.”

“Indeed. As a machine myself, I really can appreciate quality construction. I would be remiss if I didn’t ask for a tour.”

“No way,” said Rainbow Dash. “This stuff is classified. You brought us the Core, and now you’re going to leave.”

“I have to agree,” said Twilight. “I truly am grateful for your help. All of Equestria is. But until we’ve established more formal relations with your people- -”

“I understand. It is Cerberus’s hope that we can one day facilitate a technology exchange, but we understand that it will take time for you to trust us. Friendships do not always proceed quickly.”

“No,” said Twilight. “No they don’t.”

Bob moved up from the rear, sniffing the air. She eventually settled on Rainbow Dash as the source of whatever it was that she was smelling.

“Why do you smell like a bucket of ryncol?”

“Why do you smell like 5-fluorouracil?” retorted Twilight.

“Touche,” said Bob, falling back behind the breeder ponies. “Personally, I prefer the ryncol thought. Ideally by IV. I was just hoping you had some extra.” She looked bored for a moment, and then reached out and grabbed the tail of one of the males. He yelped in surprise as he was exposed.

“Hey, Rainbow,” she said. “I have a question for you. Are these things…you know…fully operational?”

Rainbow Dash smiled. “Oh yes,” she said, finally finding something that she and one of the aliens had in common. “I know some mares like their breeders gelded on purchase, but I like them with all the parts. Keeps them spunky. I still have the females neutered, of course.”

“Might seem like weird thing, but…do you mind if I…you know…”

“Bob!”

“Oh come on, Marc, it’s not like I haven’t done it with a horse before!”

“Knock yourself out,” said Rainbow Dash, waving them away. “Those ones are a little old anyway. I was meaning to get a new set next time we go over to the farm.”

“Great,” said Bob. She put her hands on the male white Pegasi’s heads and led them toward a perpendicular hallway. The female attempted to follow, but Bob pushed her back. “Not you. You’re not what I’m feeling right now.” She led the Pegasi away, and one of them looked back at the female. She looked back, concern crossing her face.

“Come on, you two,” said Bob. “You’re going to be my new meat bicycles.”

The white female watched her associates go, and her expression fell. She took a momentary step in their direction before Rainbow Dash stopped her.

“Something wrong, breeder?” she said.

“No, Fleet Commander,” said the female, turning back toward Rainbow Dash. “Nothing is wrong.”

“I’m really sorry,” said Marc Antony, not to the white pony but to Twilight.

“Don’t be. However, I would like to remind the Fleet Commander that attempting to breed with a farm-produced Pegasus is ordinarily a crime punishable by death. For a pony, of course.”

“Come on, Twi, I’m not that desperate!”

“I’m just stating the regulations. That’s all. Not accusing you at all.”

“I would think it would be the Fleet Commander’s right to use her property as she sees fit,” suggested Marc Antony.

“See! He gets it. Not that I- -oh, you know what I mean.”

“I don’t make the laws,” said Twilight, shrugging.

“Yes you do!”

“Oh,” said Twilight, pausing. “I guess I do. What with being an immortal princess and all.”

“I really would be more interested in understanding more about your government structure.”

“No,” said Rainbow Dash. “You’re going to get on your tiny little ship, and GO. And your friend, too. She can even take those two if she wants.”

“I can give you a book on the subject, if you like.”

“Thank you,” said Marc Antony. “I would like that.”

Twilight smiled up at him, and Marc Antony returned her smile. He then let her lead him back to the bay where Bob’s vessel was parked. As he did, he checked his watch. None of the ponies seemed to notice that instead of telling the time, it was counting down.