“Okay, I think I’m ready for round 13 of Anti-dominance training.” I said as I came home for the night. It had been a crazy day. Thankfully without any signs of Nightmares on the rise for the past four days. Dragonshy happened today as well, though I didn’t go… especially after I’d heard that dragons make frequent meals out of changelings. I’d just finished up checking with the girls after they got back, and decided I needed to get some more mental training.

I soon felt shins mind pressing against my own as she tried to will me into submission. I stood strong against it, even pushing back with my mental defenses, pressing a few memes against her mind, particularly the Nyan Cat. She was caught off guard by my sudden increase in ability to resist, let alone fight back, and actually succumbed to my will. I was actually surprised when I succeeded, and I didn’t know what to make her do, really… It was kinda creepy having her stare at me, unmoving though.

“...Uh, act like a cute kitty.” I said, drawing inspiration from the thought that had downed her. She promptly started nuzzling and brushing against me, demanding affection. I giggled, petting her with hands. It was nice, despite what I was petting being nearly twice my size. Especially when she started purring. After a few minutes of thinking, I sighed. “I’m kinda stuck on ideas… ugh, even Writer’s block isn’t this bad. Can you help, please?”

“Perhaps have me please you? Or just snuggle with you?” She suggested eagerly.

“I think I’ll pass on the Pleasing for now. Maybe snuggles… Unless you can get me bloated like the other two did.” I suggested, mentally giving a free speech command.

“I wish I could, but I don't have any eggs currently.” She replied in a much more monotone voice, before holding me in a hug. “You did well overpowering my mental defences.”

“I’m actually surprised I held out at all without Eclipse backing me this time.” I said with a proud smile. “Hehe… Welp, I’m gonna go take a shower.” I said, though hesitantly. I cut the mental link before Shin could pick up on it and find out how I’d treated my old human body. Absently, lost in thought, I got into the tub without looking, and stopped to look at what I felt around my hoof. Then I stared with wide eyes at what I saw.

Heheh… Now you fucked up. Eclipse said with a chuckle. I soon felt her presence leave me, meaning she was leaving me to suffer this one alone.

“I thought I told you to not wake me up! I literally fell asleep like, fifteen minutes ago!” Ocean hissed as she looked at me, and promptly dragged the rest of my body into the tub until her slimy body was occasionally lapping at my chin, aside from what was covering my horn. I panicked and tried to teleport out, but my magic didn’t move an inch. That fueled my panic further and I flailed as best I could, but my limbs kept getting pulled back into their original position like a rubber band was attached to them. “Did you not realize slimes are null-magical creatures? We don’t have magic, and aren’t affected by it.”

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention!” I pleaded.

“Too bad!”

I woke up, surrounded by goo. At first I wondered how the hell I’d gotten into the bathroom, but then I remembered last night. God, I must have kept the neighbors up last night with how much I was moaning. She must have exhausted herself keeping me on edge with her teasing for so long, and passed out… and I probably slept in her shortly after. At that, I held still, not risking waking her up again. As fun as it was, I didn’t want it to occupy my morning.

“Oh, finally awake? You looked so comfy…” she murmured. I chuckled.

“You make a good bed... And an excellent dominatrix.” I commented.

“I-i do?” Holy crap, I didn’t know a slime could blush. I chuckled and nodded.

“Yeah. Though if you react like that every time I piss you off, I might go waking you up more often.” I warned. “Any sexual contact is like a reward for me.”

“Meep!” Ocean squeaked. I could feel her blushing around me. I chuckled as I moved to get up.

“Welp. I’m headed to RED’s. I got work to do, we’re having our first match since Switch died.” I said, stretching happily.

Dustbowl, first stage, RED spawn

I smirked as I checked my gear. Today was going to be a fun day, for me at least. I’d just learned that the rules of this match were nothing like the game. The only thing that mattered was that you stuck to your weapons for kills, because killing any other way was a permanent death. The whole system was linked heavily to Mann Co’s weapons. Though I did learn the hard way earlier this week that dying was still a painful experience. Playing around with Degroot’s Loose Cannon is not something I recommend.

Of course, even touching the Eternal reward forced me back into my changeling base form, but once I get a stab, I should be golden.

Bang B-b-b-ba-bang The sounds of pan spamming filtered into my room and I facehoofed. Of course they would be idiots before the round started.

“Need a dispenser here!”

“Pootispencer here!”

“Gottamove that gear up!”

“Pootis-POW!”

“Huddu huddu huddu!”

“MEEEEEDIIIIC!”

I groaned, covering my ears and opening the Dead Ringer. Maybe it would save me from any ear damage.

“Mission begins in 60 seconds”

Everyone promptly grabbed the melee weapons they were actually planning on using as the RED teams gates opened, giving us a minute to set up defenses and get into position I headed out, using my wings to stay above and out of sight until I could get to my spot, sticking to the wall above their spawn doors like a creepy alien predator. Our scout saw this and flashed me a quick wing up.

“Mission begins in 10 seconds. 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…” The Blue spawn doors opened,and the enemy team rolled out. I quickly noticed the circle of fire surrounding the enemy Heavy. I quickly messaged our Sniper using the temporary hive mind links I’d set up for us, asking him to deal with the heavy after I take out the Medic. Sniper agreed, though he messaged Soldier that he was gonna soak the Heavy. Soldier took aim, and waited for the cue. Degroot was already hiding between the wall and the shack by their spawn, getting ready to taunt kill with his Zatoichi. Engineer and Heavy were set up in the building the first point was on, Heavy already wound up and parked by the dispenser, just waiting for an attack, with Pyro keeping an eye on his back.

Then, chaos. Sniper took the shot, and the dart exploded into a color of piss, soaking the enemy team, before Soilder got lucky and exploded them with a crocket, leaving Degroot giving him the stink eye. The Medic was still alive though, having hung far enough back to avoid most of the splash damage, but I took care of him quickly with a drop stab, landing in front of him and sinking my knife between his eyes. The knife worked its magic, evaporating him and allowing me to take his form.

Absolutely beautiful… Hey, where’s their Engineer? I blinked as I noticed said unicorn hadn’t showed up in the killfeed.

*Thwip* The sound of a flying piss filled dart sounded, followed by the dying scream of the Engie told me our sniper had the same thought, yet got the answer.

Behind you. Eclipse warned.

“Think fast chucklenuts!” was what i heard before a jar of… ‘non milk substance’ flew at my face. I ducked, but it still covered me as it shattered on the ground behind me. I shook a bit as I felt the air clearly against my wet back, glaring at the blu scout.

“I am going to enjoy sinking my knife into your skull.”

“You’ll have to catch me first! Woosh!” He snarked as he sped off. I smirked however, tapping into my own abilities Eclipse granted me. Remember scout form? That’s still there, and with it, my speed and reflexes were as well. I heard the sound of the enemy heavy’s gun revving up behind me, distracting me from the scout.

<Someone else take out that Scout. I’ve got a heavy to deal with.> I announced. I whipped out my L’etranger and shot at the Heavy’s trigger finger in one fluid motion. It worked for a moment, but his medic was pocketing him, and I had to act fast. I took a swipe at him with my knife, nicking his cheek a bit, but then I felt a giant nail spike drive through my skull and the Match Ui I was provided with was counting off seconds till respawn.

I sighed to myself in the semi-void as I watched the rest of the team hold A for a bit. However, the Pyro got backstabbed,and the spy got the engineer killed by his own sentry fire, before sapping and running from the Heavy, who was quickly chipped away at by splash damage. Our scout managed to suicide rush the enemy medic and take him out with a mini-crit F-A-N shot at point blank before getting punched across the area.

I respawned before anyone else could die though, but they had already capped A by the time I got back. I walked into them and let them trigger my Dead ringer, to which their pyro was smart enough to guess was fake, despite it being more well timed. I decloaked above him, in the A building, and fired a round into his energy pack, causing it to malfunction and discharge.

“Mmmph? MMMPH!” He screamed before his pack exploded, killing him. The killfeed registered it as just a Critical Death, and that I caused it.

‘Random crits are fair and balanced’ Eclipse snarked. I chuckled.

Yeah. Too bad it wasn’t random. I just aimed at a critical spot. I shot back casually. Like I said earlier, this world does not operate on the same rules the game does.

You should get that Teleporter. Eclipse advised. Turning to them, I nodded. Maybe I could get in a good Telefrag. I made my way to them, dodging the sight of the respawned Heavy using it, before snapping it. I stood on top of it, and waited for the sapper to break, with another sapper ready to throw, taking direct inspiration from the Meet the Spy video. The second the sapper was destroyed, I was briefly stunned by the sensation of every cell in my body tearing at and bullying the cells of someone else, effectively telefragging the engineer. I looked around for the sentry and threw the sapper at it before it could target me though, running on autopilot mostly as I processed how it felt to telefrag.

Enemy Spy behind you! Eclipse warned. I turned just in time to block a stab from him. We held there for a moment, staring each other down.

“Nice to see you again, Swap.” I casually greeted in a western accent as I broke off and gained some distance.

“Likewise.” He replied simply.

“I suppose now is the moment we have an epic battle… but I would win, simply because of Eclipse.” I said with confidence.

“Indeed… what exactly do you propose then?” He asked. I chuckled as I looked up at the sky. The sun was at it’s peak.

“A classic western duel. Like they say when it’s appropriate…” I paused for dramatic effect. “It’s High Noon.”

Weapon Analyzed: Unusual Neighponium Ambassador copied. Now wielding.

My L’Etranger faded away, replaced by the enemy spy’s Ambassador, which was wrapped in Shadows. As if the world had decided to make it convenient for me, a tumbleweed rolled past me, and Tinker sat to the side, strumming his guitar.. He was actually doing a taunt kill on the Blu team’s unaware sniper, but it was still rather convenient. Swap tensed, ready to draw, but I used my magic to mark the tumbleweed, and the point for it to reach before either of us could fire. Seeing the enemy Pyro come around the corner just as the tumbleweed actually made it to the mark, I couldn’t resist, and fired twice in the same second, blasting open the heads of both the Pyro and Swap. Both of them screamed as they died, shocked that I’d just taken out both of them.

“Nice shot, mate.” Sniper called out, impressed. However, the loud sound of a Machina firing rang out, and his head was suddenly gone. Out of fear, I opened the Dead Ringer, looking for the other sniper. I spotted him just as he fired, sending the tracer round straight through my skull, but at least the DR saved me from dying that time. I quickly made my way to the sniper, intent on stabbing him to get revenge for the death of ours. I had to dodge past their heavy when doing so, but I was in position when the Ringer ran out of cloak. I chuckled as I came up behind him, noting that he was wearing earphones. He probably couldn’t hear a damn thing. Without further hesitation, I stabbed him.

“Alert, the final control point is being captured!” The announcer shouted. In alarm, I turned to find the enemy medic and heavy Übercharged on the point, and mowing down my team. I rushed to get to them, triggering my dead ringer again as I ran, with Swap’s Ambassador in hoof. I managed to make it behind the medic without being seen, and aimed at the pack on the Medic’s back. The second his charge wore off, I unloaded all six bullets into it, completely destroying it, as well as denying the Heavy any further healing for the rest of the medics current life. The Medic backed away in fear, screaming as he noticed me. The heavy turned in anger, revving up his gun to protect his medic against me, but I shoved my knife up the barrel, preventing any bullets from tearing out of it.

“Agh! Oh, you are going to pay for that… IN BLOOD!” The Heavy lunged at me, but he was far too large and slow to catch me. But then he took his gun and swung it at me, catching me off guard. I’d been thinking these guys stuck purely to the game… Guess I was wrong, and me getting my breath knocked out of me was a sharp reminder about how wrong I was.

Your team’s back. But so is their sniper. Try not to get shot and keep stalling for just a moment longer. Eclipse advised. I rolled to the side to avoid the heavy’s minigun smashing into me. Getting back up, I reloaded my gun before getting back into a fight with the big guy. He’d discarded his big gun, now wielding a standard shotgun and already aiming at me. Expecting a random crit, I readied my Dead Ringer while defiantly glaring at him, standing in a pose that hid the ringer from sight as I aimed my ambassador at his face.

I was distracted momentarily as the BLU Soldier came in rocket jumping, holding one of the enemy engineer’s toolboxes with his Jag strapped to his belt. The distraction cost me my Ringer triggering. Though the sound of the Heavy by me getting a sniper bullet to the head assured me I didn’t need to worry about him anymore. I decloaked and kicked the Medic bodily off the point, before retrieving my knife from the dead heavy’s gun. I had brought multiple knives out with me, but I hardly needed them all. I just liked to keep numbers in my favor.

The soldier turned toward me as the teleporter began building itself, and fired his rocket, but I caught it in my horn’s grip and turned it right back on him. Due to the system actually taking magic deflection into account, the rocket actually gained mini crit, and took out half the soldier’s health. He frowned as he stepped back, whipping out his shotgun. I fired at him, forcing him to dodge though, which threw off his aim.

“Die, Schweinhund!” The medic shouted as he jabbed me with his Ubersaw. It distracted me enough for Soldier to take aim with his shotgun again. Rather than continue to face them though, I had them trigger my Dead Ringer. I smirked as my team finally came in, Degroot dive bombing in the air with Scout, both using Eyelanders. Degroot cleaved through the Soldier’s head while Scout impaled the medic.

“Hey, this thing’s actually pretty good!” Scout said as he checked out the blade he wielded. Then he screamed and threw it to the ground.

“Ay, did it talk to ye? Don’t worry, it won’t hurt ya.” Degroot assured.

“No. Way. That things way too creepy, I ain’t touchin it again.” He said backing away from it. Degroot rolled his eyes and picked it up himself, now dual wielding the swords. I chuckled as I sapped the teleporter.

“Please, I’ve got a voice in my head 24/7. There’s nothing creepy about it at all.” I claimed.

“Easy for you to say, bug face. Your kind are born with that.” Fleet shot back. I rolled my eyes.

“You forget, I used to be just like you, before I got my soul shot across space and time.” I said laughing. I picked up some health as I waited for the BLU team to respawn.

“Hehe, yeah.. OH MY GOD, THAT HEAVY HAS A SENTRY!” Fleet was instantly taken out of his calm moment as the enemy heavy ran in wielding the Headless Horse’s Axe, and a level three sentry on his back.

“I got it.” I said as I flipped open my Dead Ringer and rushed in. I put the Eternal Reward away for now, switching up for the Kunai. However, the Heavy didn’t let me go, striking out at me the second I decloaked and taking my head.

I watched from the death cams (No idea how those work, but I’m not questioning it) to find our pyro doing flybys to try and take out the Heavy, raining fire on him as he flew. However, it soon got even more chaotic as the enemy Soldier rode on a flying Demo doing rocket runs as well, and the scouts were having an aerial dogfight. The enemy spy was sighing, pretty much giving up at this point. The second I respawned though, a familiar voice called out over the coms.

“Hey boys, as much fun as you’re having, you should probably call off the match. We’ve got a lead on Grey.” My sister said. All fighting stopped that instant. I shared a look with the BLU Demo while he was landing next to me.

“Looks like fun time's over. Let’s grab some custom weapons and haul it to base.” I said. He nodded and took off for BLU Spawn, taking the soldier, Direct Charge with him. All of us dispersed, heading to our respective spawns to get out of the map. We had another mission to complete.