It's funny how really big changes can mean so little in the grand scheme of things, what can start out as probably the worst day in your life could lead to the fallout being the most normal thing ever.

These were not the thoughts swirling around in the hooded stranger's head as he made his way down the side streets of Manehattan, or rather, what was left of it. Not many ponies bothered with rebuilding when the tyrannical eyes of the Zangyack Empire's Grand Conquest fleet are constantly watching for large gatherings of the locals.

None of this, however was on the mind of said hooded figure either, his thoughts dwelled on much more important matters as he pulled his light grey cloak closer to himself to stave off the early morning chill.

Wander through the ruined city of liberty, and meet with your next step. That's what Navi had said anyway, which is why he was here in the first place. Still though...

"Where the hell is a guy supposed to get some food around here?" He all but yelled out into the empty side street.

No reply.

Grumbling, he continued on his way down the deserted street.

Pipsqueak peeked out from his hiding spot on the second floor of a blown-out building, watching the Zangyack supply transport as it approached, "almost there, just a little closer..." he muttered to himself, gripping the length of pipe in his right hand, eyeing the transport's escort of robotic Gormin foot soldiers and their Sugormin commander warily. If any of them spotted him before the transport was right below him, the punishment wouldn't be light.

"Just a bit longer Pip," his voice barely a whisper. Three... two... one...

And with that, he leaped out of his cover, landing silently on top of the transport's cargo hold.

Just you wait Zangyack, I'll be the one to bring you down once and for all!

The stranger knelt in front of his apparent salvation, arms raised in the air in a salute to his victory. "YES! I HAVE ARRIVED AT VALHALLA!" He screamed at the heavens, tears streaming down his face. Truly, the gods of victory had smiled upon his poor, hapless soul.

For never before had he been so happy to see the advertising sign for a restaurant.

Suddenly, his head was impacted from the side by a flying serving tray, causing him to fall over sideways. "Stop making such a damn ruckus out there! You'll scare away all the customers!" A middle-aged brown earth pony stallion said from the doorway of his restaurant, waving a ladle towards the empty street.

"I'M SO VERY SORRY!" shouted the hooded stranger, bowing on his hands and knees until his forehead scraped against the pavement.

"I told you not to make such a ruckus, damn it!" The restaurant owner said, brandishing his ladle as if to strike the stranger.

A loud, wet gurgle erupted from the hooded stranger's stomach, silencing both of them.

The restaurant owner sighed and lowered his ladle, "Ya' might as well come in, doesn't look like anypony's gonna show up right now."

The stranger glanced around, as if noticing for the first time that the street was deserted, "Huh, looks like-"

Another loud gurgle interrupted him.

"So hungryyyyyy~" said the stranger, visually deflating before the restaurant owner.

"When was the last time you ate, kid?" Asked the owner, picking up the now limp form of the stranger.

"T-three days ago, when the canned peaches ran out..." the stranger muttered, his voice little more than a whisper.

"Seriously!?" The owner exclaimed, "Okay that's it, get in here, we gotta get some food in you, kid!" he said carrying his guest over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

"You sir, are a saint. An honest to god saint..." the stranger muttered as he was plopped down into a bar stool, slumping forward onto the table.

"Is that right?" Said the owner, heading behind the counter, "Got a name, kid?"

"It's Gai." the stranger said, lazily raising his hand in the air, "yours?"

"Name's Black Kettle, it's nice to meet you Gai."

"Likewise."

"So, where you from? You said you've been living off canned peaches, so you're probably not from around here." Kettle said, stirring something in a large pot.

"Suffice it to say that I'm from somewhere very, very far away."

"Well, wherever you're from, it's probably way better than Equestria, that's for damn sure." Kettle replied, spooning some rice onto a plate.

"Why do you say that?" Gai asked.

"I don't know if you've noticed kid, but we kind of have a bit of an alien invasion on our hands, any customers I do get almost always have a terrified look about them, as if just coming here will get them into trouble. Not to mention we have absolutely no way of fighting back."

"The Great Legend War, right?"

Kettle snorted, "Good to see you're not completely out of the loop, kid. We threw everything we had at those Zangyack bastards and they still came out on top. They even publicly executed three out of the five remaining element bearers right in front of everypony." Kettle said, gritting his teeth.

"What about the military? From what I heard, only the Princesses, Element Bearers, and the thirty-four Super Sentai teams went up against them." Gai said, picking himself up from his slumped position at the delicious smell in the air.

"Princess Celestia disbanded and dismantled all of Equestria's military assets and burned all personnel records, said she didn't want any of her little ponies getting hurt and forbade us from volunteering. Almost everyone who ignored her orders ended up dying alongside her during the war." Kettle continued, pouring a white, soupy substance over the rice and setting the plate and a spoon in front of Gai.

"You sound like you're talking from experience." Gai said, taking the spoon in his left hand.

"Meh, maybe. Who can say? Now eat up, curry's getting cold."

Gai eyed his benefactor with a searching look before scooping some of the curry into his mouth, his eyes widening as flavor exploded across his tongue. "This is amazing!" He exclaimed.

"Right?" said a grinning Kettle, taking a sip from a flask he had hidden under the counter, "It's a new recipe I've been developing, I don't have a name for it though-" He said looking to his guest who was shoveling the food into his mouth with reckless abandon, "H-hey! Slow down! You'll choke!"

"But it's so good!" Gai managed to gasp out in between bites.

"Why were you living off only canned peaches anyway?" Kettle asked, taking another pull from his flask.

"Anything I cook might as well be classified as a chemical weapon," Gai said, swallowing a particularly large bite of curry.

That's when the storefront for the restaurant was blown inwards by a massive explosion, scattering everything that wasn't bolted down.

Gai looked down at what remained of his plate, large pieces of metal and wood impaling the ceramic and, more importantly, his curry lunch.

"My curry..." Gai said softly, gazing at his ruined lunch in horror before banging his fist on the ruined remains of the counter.

Oh yeah, heads were gonna roll.

"Gou gou!" The cries of the Gormin were getting closer as Pipsqueak's lungs burned, his desperate struggle to escape proving fruitless against the robotic Gormin foot soldiers that were tracking him down. What happened? I thought they didn't notice me!

Pipsqueak rounded a corner, crashing into a Gormin, causing them to fall into a tangle of limbs.

"Get off me!" Pipsqueak cried, bashing his pipe bludgeon against the Gormin's head until it and the pipe were bent inwards. Clambering to his feet and running off in the opposite direction of his pursuers.

He didn't make it far before a metallic hand clamped down on his shoulder, throwing him off balance and causing him to fall on his back, dropping his bent pipe weapon.

"Let go!" Pipsqueak yelled, only to be silenced when one of the Gormin slammed the flat end of their cudgel into his stomach.

"Thought you could steal from the Zangyack Empire, did you?" The Sugormin commander gloated, bending over to stare into Pipsqueak's terrified eyes, "don't you know that's the leading cause of death in every Zangyack colony?" He said, tapping one of his claws against Pipsqueak's forehead, chortling at the disgusted expression on his captive's face.

Pipsqueak spat in it's face, silencing it immediately, "bugger off, Zangyack scum!" Pipsqueak said glaring at his captor.

"A little eager to proceed to the execution, aren't you?" The Sugormin chuckled, wiping the spit off his face, "hold him down."

Pipsqueak felt the Gormin's grip tighten around his arms as he was bought down to his knees.

"You have been charged with the greatest sin anyone in the universe could possibly be charged with: defying the Zangyack Empire!" The Sugormin stated as he towered over Pipsqueak, "the only punishment suitable for this crime is execution, to be carried out immediately!" The Sugormin raised his claws, ready to bring them down on the helpless Pipsqueak when he was tackled from behind.

"Sugou!?" The Sugormin commander squawked as it was pushed forwards stumbling into his subordinates that were holding Pipsqueak captive, dragging them to the ground with his oversized arms, revealing the pony who had intervened, her arms still outstretched from shoving the much larger Sugormin.

She was a unicorn mare, not much younger than the teenaged Pipsqueak, with a pale pink coat, and purple mane that was mixed with a stripe of electric blue. A fuzzy pink jacket covering the white sundress she wore underneath.

"Come on!" She said urgently, taking his hand in her own, "we have to run!"

Pipsqueak nodded, allowing himself to be pulled along by the surprisingly strong mare into the nearest back alley.

"After them you idiots!" The Sugormin commanded, smacking the downed Gormin soldiers over their metallic heads.

"This way!" Pipsqueak said, pulling his unnamed benefactor to the left up a side street only to dig their heels in when they saw a line of Gormin on the other side, their cudgels mounted on their shoulders with the head facing the hapless duo.

Pipsqueak's eyes widened as he realized what was coming, "GET DOWN!" He yelled, tackling the purple-maned mare to the ground as a simultaneous hissing noise filed the street before the heads of all the cudgels rocketed off their handles, crashing into the storefronts on the other side of the Gormin firing squad, and exploding upon impact, showering both the streets and the insides of the stores with shrapnel, be it glass, wood, mortar, or metal.

"Did you really think you could get away?" A mocking voice said from behind the firing line of Gormin troopers. The Sugormin commander said, strutting up to the two fallen teenagers, easily picking them up by their throats and throwing them down the street.

"Honestly, I wish more idiots like you would show up, gives us a source of entertainment." He continued, his Gormin subordinates moving in to secure the two. "Your punishment can wait until we're good and ready, girl. We have business with this one." This was followed by a menacing chuckle, causing Pipsqueak's skin to crawl.

The unicorn mare stood up, throwing off her jacket, and unfurled her wings, "STAY BACK!" she shouted her voice magnified many times over, the sudden outburst giving the Gormin pause. No. Pipsqueak thought, Not a unicorn. An alicorn.

"I am Princess Flurry Heart Amore, princess of Equestria, and you will not lay a hand on my subject!" She turned her head towards Pipsqueak, a sad look in her eye, "I will hold them here for as long as I can, please use that time to get away."

Pipsqueak shook his head, "I'm not about to throw you to the wolves princess," he said, picking himself up and raising his fists towards the approaching Gormin, "what kind of pony would that make me?"

"A dead one." Said the Sugormin, drawing the pair's attention back to the very obvious threat of the Zangyack troops, "we could just gun you down, you know." The Gormin troops had reattached new cudgel heads to their weapons and were now pointing the narrow end at the two ponies, their commander standing behind them with his clawed arm raised. "All troops, ready weapons." There was a simultaneous clicking noise as the safeties on the weapons were released.

"Aim..."

"Gokai Spear, gun mode!"

A series of gunshots rang out into the empty street, causing Flurry Heart and Pipsqueak to flinch, followed by silence.

When the two finally looked up again, an unbelievable sight caught their eyes.

All of the Gormin troops that had previously been pointing their rifles at them were now laying face down, neat three-inch holes bored into the backs of their heads, exposing the smoking electronics within. The Sugormin was on his knees, picking himself up from the obvious sneak attack.

"Six for seven, huh? Not bad, you're pretty lucky you have thicker armor than your trashy subordinates, Blue Boy." Said a relaxed voice from behind the downed Sugormin.

"Who the hell are you!?" The Sugormin shouted at the cloaked figure that had just shot down his troops from behind, his gun resting on his shoulder.

"You should know, you guys did put a bounty on my head, five-hundred-thousand in local currency I think?" Said the figure, "besides, shouldn't you be giving your name first? It's only common courtesy seeing as how you blew up my lunch."

"S-so what?" Said the Sugormin, his voice shaking as more Gormin troopers filed out of the various back alleys lining the street, surrounding the cloaked figure. "There's no way you can take on all of us!"

"That so?" The figure said, grasping the clasp of his cloak, "How many of your guys do you think are here? About thirty? Frankly, I'm a little insulted."

"Get him!" The Sugormin ordered, grabbing two of his soldiers by their arms, "you two, make sure they don't escape!" He said, gesturing towards Pipsqueak and Flurry Heart.

The two Gormin charged towards Pipsqueak and Flurry Heart, weapons raised to cudgel their defenseless targets, only to fall over once they realized they no longer had legs to stand on.

"Are you alright, princess?" A brown coated earth pony with a dark mane stood over the two Gormin, a cutlass held loosely in his right hand, the sword belt worn over his apron as if it was affixed in a hurry.

"W-who are you?" Flurry Heart asked, eyes widening at the display before her.

The pony ran the two Gormin through their backs with the cutlass before kneeling before her, "former second lieutenant Black Kettle of the Equestrian Royal Guard. I served alongside your father and mother during the Great Legend War, I'm sorry for your loss." He looked up at her, "now I'm just an old stallion that runs a restaurant." He said, a wide grin spreading across his face.

"I see," Flurry Heart said, glancing at the carnage occurring further down the street, "who is he then?"

Kettle glanced over his shoulder at the cloaked figure currently making mincemeat out of the Gormin soldiers, "that," he remarked, "is a surprisingly strong and angry customer."

"Kettle, if you want to make smart-aleck remarks, can you at least do it while keeping the civvies out of harm's way?" Gai said as he shoved his left forearm through the chest of a Gormin foolish enough to get within striking distance, and using him as a meat shield for a volley of shots from the few Gormin that were still standing before gunning them all down and ripping his arm out from his unwilling shield. "I can't be worried about pegging royalty in the head with flying robot parts."

"This way, we can take cover here." Kettle said, pulling the two teenagers into an alley, "keep your heads down you two, I can't protect you if you get curious." He said, peeking around the corner to watch his mysterious customer.

"You bastard!" The Sugormin yelled, charging the cloaked figure, "I don't care who you are! No one defies the Zangyack Empire!"

"You have to be the most patriotic minion I've ever met," Gai sighed, "guess I'd better give you some special treatment." He tossed his gun in the air, "Gokai Spear!" A mechanical whirring came from the gun as it unfolded into a golden trident.

Catching the spear in his right hand, Gai twirled it over his head before dropping into a ready stance seconds before the Sugormin's right set of claws came down on the spear's haft.

"Really now? I expected a lot more from one of Zangyack's non-commissioned officers than a full frontal assault, is that really all you can do?" Gai mocked, tilting the trident so that the Sugormin's forward momentum caused him to stagger before using the bladed trident to slash at it's back. "That's for the curry, you blue bastard!"

"What does curry have to do with this?" The downed Sugormin cried.

"It has everything to do with this!" Gai cried, pinning the Sugormin's leg with his spear's prongs, and repeatedly stomping on the Blue Cyborg's head, "three days, three days I haven't eaten anything and was about to keel over when that nice stallion was kind enough to feed me for free!"

"Actually, I was totally going to charge him." Kettle deadpanned, watching Gai continually add new dents to the Sugormin's armor plating.

"And then you guys blow up the nice guy's restaurant and my lunch!!!" Gai continued, putting more and more force into each stomp.

The Sugormin activated his comms, in a last ditch effort for reinforcements, "this is Sugormin officer number X-0239485732,-ow!- requesting -ow!-immediate -ow!- assistance! My group has been -ow!- wiped -ow!- stop stomping on my head!"

"Eeenope," Gai said, increasing the force and tempo of his stomping.

"Dispatch the 35th special battalion immediately! I repeat-" The Sugormin was silenced when one final stomp finally broke through his armor and crushed the delicate circuitry that kept his body functioning.

"Hey Kettle! You can come out now," Gai said, ripping his boot out from the heavily dented body of the Sugormin and converting the spear into a gun before stowing it behind his cloak.

"Come on you two, stick close." Kettle said to his charges, the trio making their way through the various scattered robot parts.

"Sweet Celestia..." Pipsqueak muttered, staring wide-eyed at the destruction the cloaked stranger had wrought.

"Thanks for the loan, Gai." Kettle said, holding out the cutlass and sword belt to it's original owner, "keep it Kettle, we're not in the clear just yet. Let's get moving before their reinforcements show up."

"Reinforcements?" Kettle said, strapping the sword belt more securely around his waist.

"The Sugormin managed to get a distress call out before I put him down, asked for a 'special battalion' whatever that means."

Pipsqueak paled, "are you sure? Absolutely sure he said that?" He asked, glancing around nervously.

"Yeah, why? Is there something I should know about Snively?" Gai asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"My name is Pipsqueak."

"And mine's Gai, your point?"

Pipsqueak sighed, "It won't matter how far we run, we won't survive what they've sent after us."

"What do you mean, Mister Pipsqueak?" Flurry Heart asked.

"The Special Battalions of the Zangyack Empire are actually-"

"PRINCESS GET DOWN!!!" Kettle cried, tackling Flurry Heart and Pipsqueak as gunfire echoed from down the street, "Shit!" Gai cried as he dove for cover.

"They're already here!" Pipsqueak wailed as Kettle rolled off of them.

"Who's here!?" Gai cried, frantically searching for the shooters, his eyes widening when he finally found them. "Oh that is just wrong on so many levels."

Standing on top of the building across from Kettle's restaurant were five multicolored figures carrying more of the Gormin rifle/rocket launcher cudgels, the narrow end tracking Kettle's group.

"Not gonna happen!" Gai shouted, opening fire on the group blue energy bolts flashing from his gun's barrel and striking each of the figure's chests, staggering them but otherwise doing no damage.

"Kettle, get the kids to safety! I'll handle this." Kettle grunted an affirmative, grabbing both the princess and her companion and rushing inside the ruined storefront of his restaurant while Gai covered them with shots from his gun.

When they were clear, Gai unfolded his trident again, taking long, easy strides towards the corrupted heroes in front of him, "looks like he was here," he muttered to himself, "and he's mocking me right now."

"What is he doing?" Pipsqueak said, watching the cloaked stranger calmly approach what could only be his imminent demise, "it doesn't matter how strong he is, that Sentai will kill him!"

"How is this possible?" Flurry Heart muttered, "I thought the thirty four Sentai were destroyed in the final battle of the Great Legend War!"

"Does it matter? We can't fight them! Nopony can!"

"Would you shut up and watch, kid?" Gai said, stabbing his trident into the ground and reaching for the clasp of his cloak, "you might just learn something. Besides, I'm no pony."

And with that, Gai undid the clasp on his cloak, and tossed it aside, confirming his earlier statement. What was underneath was most assuredly not a pony. Standing before them was a tall creature wearing a silver long coat and wearing a black scarf around his neck, a mop of light brown hair sat on top of his head. His face was the most surprising part, it was flat, lacking a muzzle and the eyes were small and beady. Finally, his ears were flat, and sat on the side of his head rather than on top.

"It's been a while since I last needed to use this," Gai said, reaching into his jacket and pulling out a strange box-like object and a small figurine. Gai inserted the silver figurine into the box and pushed a button.

"Gokai Change!" He shouted as he was enveloped in a brilliant, white light.

"GOOOOOKAIGER!!!" A distant voice shouted out, as if to announce some earth-shattering news to the world.

The light faded, revealing a figure clad head to toe in silver, wearing a dark helmet.

"The pirate clad in shining silver! Gokai Silver!" Gai shouted, ripping his trident from the ground, "let's make this showy!" And with that he charged the five figures ahead of him, trident raised above his head, slashing and kicking at his multicolored opponents.

"How is that possible?" Pipsqueak breathed as Gai swung his trident, only for it to be intercepted by yellow and pink's cudgels, "There are no more Super Sentai members outside of Zangyack control!"

"Apparently there is kid," Kettle grunted, pressing a hand against his side, the appendage coming away slick with blood, "ah shit," he muttered, collapsing to his knees, putting pressure on the wound.

"Mister Kettle!" Flurry Heart cried, kneeling next to the injured former guard, "first aid kit, behind the counter," Kettle gasped, "hurry!"

"On it!" Pipsqueak said, vaulting over the remains of the counter while pressed her jacket against Kettle's wound. Kettle grabbed her arm with his unbloodied hand, sweat beading his forehead, "P-princess, promise me something."

"No, no don't ask me to do that, not again!" Flurry Heart said, her eyes watering.

"Princess, listen to me!" Kettle said firmly, "if I don't make it, you must go to Ponyville, you will find allies there. Allies that can and will keep you safe."

"Found it!" Pipsqueak announced, vaulting back over the counter with a large red and white case in his hand, he slid up to kettle and opened the case. Grabbing a cotton pad and some rubbing alcohol, he began disinfecting the wound.

Back outside, Gai was having some trouble with his multicolored opponents, "piss off!" He shouted, planting a kick in the middle of the green Gokaiger's chest before blocking an overhead chop from the yellow and pink with the haft of his trident. "For phantoms created by the Rapparatta, you guys are pretty strong, guessing he really put some feeling into this one, huh?" Gai said, turning the trident and slashing the pair with the bladed end before receiving a pair of bullets in the back from red and blue, their cudgel rifle barrels still smoking from the discharge.

"Okay, that's it!" Gai shouted, folding his trident into a gun again, firing a volley at the pair of phantoms before unfolding his trident and running it through the green phantom and pitching it over his back into yellow and pink who collapsed under their newfound burden. Gai pressed a button on his belt buckle, causing it to spit out another small figurine. "Let's try this one!" He said, inserting the figure into the Gokai Cellular.

"Gokai Change!" He shouted, pressing a button and being enveloped in a white glow.

"DAAAAAAAIIIRANGER!!!" The voice echoed as the light around Gai faded, revealing the new form he had equipped.

"Round two, kiddies!" Gai cackled, drawing the sword at his hip and charging his opponents, "Byakko Shinken!" He shouted, his blade roaring in response to it's name as it's edge slashed across red and blue's chests. Gai spun around and placed his free hand on the green phantom's stomach, "ki ryoku!" He shouted as a ball of energy formed in his hand, sending green flying. "I thought I told you to piss off!"

Green said nothing as he impacted the side of a building, cracks spiderwebbing around the small, body-shaped crater before he slowly peeled off and lay prone, unmoving.

"Who's next?" Gai called out, undoing his additional transformation, leaving him as Gokai Silver once more. The response was a cudgel swung by pink impacting the side of his helmet. "Guess I have my answer then," he muttered, using the rotational momentum from the hit to fuel a hook kick that smacked into the side of pink's helmet, sending her crashing to the ground before continuing with his rotational momentum and smashing his free fist into the back of her head, causing her to lie still with her head in it's own little crater.

"Next!" Gai said, blocking a twin cudgel attack from blue with the haft of his spear, simultaneously hopping over a leg sweep from yellow, "two at once, huh? You flatter me guys!" Gai said, pushing blue back and kicking out at yellow before jumping clear of their failed pincer maneuver. "Well, looks like they have knowledge of basic tactics and teamwork," Gai muttered, turning the trident's prongs towards the three remaining phantoms.
Yellow and blue charged him again while red took potshots from a distance. "Well, at least they're trying," Gai said, deflecting the shots from red's cudgel rifle with the head of his trident, catching the incoming cudgels from blue and yellow between the prongs of the trident, ripping them from their grip and cutting across them with a vicious slash across their chests that would have cut a normal person in half.

"Don't worry, I got something special for you, Mr. Red," Gai said, pointing his trident in a challenge to the final remaining Gokaiger phantom as yellow and blue crumpled to the ground. Red responded by turning his weapon and resting it on his shoulder, taking aim at Gai with the rocket end of the cudgel. "You really don't wanna do that, buddy." Gai warned, resting his trident on his shoulder.

Red pulled the safety pin from the cudgel's rocket.

"Nobody ever listens to a pirate, do they?" Gai sighed, turning the trident around in his hand.

Red fired his launcher, aiming for Gai's feet. Gai leaped into the air, using the explosion to boost himself further, "hissatsu!" He cried out, motes of light gathering around the three prongs of his trident, causing the lance to shine like the sun.

"Gokai Shooting Star!" Gai screamed, hurling the shining trident at the final phantom, the weapon streaking down like a bolt of lightning, embedding itself into the hapless opponent and erupting in a massive explosion of light.

"Maybe I overdid it?" Gai said, picking himself up from his hunched-over landing position, walking over to the large crater that had appeared in the middle of the street. Peering down at the crumpled body impaled at the bottom of the crater, he watched as the remains of the red phantom shined with a bright light before dimming, revealing a small, red key resembling the downed phantom.

Gai undid his transformation and slid down into the pit, ripping his trident out of the ground and picking up the small figure pinned under it, "one down, thirty-four teams left," He said, tucking the figure into his coat pocket before turning to search for the rest.

"Mister Gai!" Flurry Heart cried, charging from the ruined storefront from Kettle's restaurant and tacking Gai, burying her face in his jacket, "Mister Kettle i-is," she said, tear stained face staring up at him. Gai's eyes widened, rushing past the crying princess into the ruined restaurant

"KETTLE!" Gai shouted, sliding up to the unconscious cook and grabbing him by the shoulders, shaking him violently, "DON'T DIE KETTLE, YOU STILL HAVEN'T MADE ME SECONDS!!!"

"That's what you're worried about!?" Pipsqueak said, appalled at the pirate's apparent disregard for the downed cook.

"YES!" Gai cried, teary eyes fixed directly on Pipsqueak's, "THIS KIND STALLION LET ME EAT HERE FOR FREE AFTER I HADN'T EATEN FOR THREE DAYS!"

"Nope, he was totally going to charge you for the curry, he said so." Pipsqueak deadpanned.

"WHAT!?" Gai exclaimed, turning his gaze back to the downed stallion, "YOU BASTARD!!!" He screamed, shaking Kettle's limp body more and more fiercely, "ARE YOU HAPPY UP THERE IN THE AFTERLIFE!? YOU BETTER BE, BECAUSE I'M GONNA COME UP THERE AND TEAR YOU A NEW ONE!!!"

"He's not dead either." Pipsqueak said, keeping the same deadpan tone.

"WHAT!?"

"He's just hopped up on a lot of painkillers. I made a mistake in the dosage size."

"But the princess-"

"Overreacted."

"Oh."

An awkward silence filled the ruined restaurant.

"Do you mind dragging him out of here then? I have to gather the rest of the keys." Gai said, draping Kettle's body over Pipsqueak's shoulders and walking out the front entrance.

"Why me?" Pipsqueak muttered, dragging the larger stallion behind him.

When Gai got outside, Flurry Heart ran up to him, holding out the remaining four Ranger Keys in her hands, "this is what you were after right Mister Gai?" She said, sniffling as she held out the keys to the pirate, "I just wish Mister Kettle..." her voice trailed off, the sheen of fresh tears building up in her eyes.

"He's not dead." Gai deadpanned, pocketing the remaining four keys.

"W-what?"

"Just really high on painkillers, Pipsqueak made a mistake in the dosage."

"B-but..."

"You overreacted."

"Oh."

"Welp," Gai said, cutting off the awkward silence before it could start again, "you guys better get going before more Zangyack show up wondering where-"

He was interrupted by the distant sound of metallic feet stomping coming from all directions, the marching cries of Gormin troops getting ever closer.

"Dammit Murphy!" Gai swore through gritted teeth, pulling out his Gokai Cellular and mashing a few buttons, "Navi! I need you to bring the Galleon down for a pickup!" he shouted into it, "you'll be coming in hot, so have the port and starboard cannons armed and ready!"

"Aye sir!" came a mechanical squawk from the Cellular's speaker, slightly distorted by static, "incoming in ten seconds!"

Gai folded his trident into gun form again, taking aim where the sound of approaching metal boots was loudest, "get behind me!" he shouted, pulling Flurry Heart behind him with his free hand.

"Gou, gou!" The Gormin cried as they rounded the corner, only to crumple as beams of blue light melted holes through their heads, "Ha! still got it!" Gai crowed, pulling a smaller gun from inside his coat, dual wielding the two in order to put more holes into more gormin.

"Pipsqueak! Take this." Gai said, tossing the smaller pistol to Pipsqueak who dropped Kettle, juggling the weapon in his hands before getting a solid grip on the handle, "cover our right flank!" He shouted, pointing to the line of Gormin rounding the corner.

Pipsqueak held the gun in both hands taking careful aim at the nearest Gormin and pulled the trigger, the gun erupted with a puff of smoke and a small gout of flame as the projectile was ejected from the barrel, striking the Gormin in the chest, causing the robotic foot soldier to crumple. The recoil almost called the teenaged earth pony to fall on his butt.

Pipsqueak stared at the still smoking barrel, a wide grin slicing across his face as he readjusted his stance and held the gun out in his right hand, popping off shots one after the other, either taking down or severely damaging a Gormin with each shot, "GET SOME!!!" He cried, laughing as the previously threatening Gormin soldiers fell one after the other before him, not even getting enough time to aim their rifles.

A bullet whizzed past Pipsqueak's ear as he chanced a look over his shoulder, seeing a much different scenario behind him as Gai was struggling to stave off attackers from both the front and left while keeping a cowering Flurry Heart and an unconscious Kettle behind him, his gun's muzzle flash almost constant as he downed a Gormin with each shot.

"Navi, where the hell are you!?" Gai screamed, smashing his fist into the head of a Gormin who came into melee range, crushing the cheap armor like a tin can.

"Right above you!" Squawked a voice from the Cellular as the advancing Gormin forces were crushed under a volley of fireballs from above.

"GOOOKAI GALLEON!!!"

Pipsqueak looked up and saw a large, red pirate ship floating above him, dropping several ropes down to the group of defenders while the cannons fired another volley, presumably targeting another group of Zangyack reinforcements.

"Pipsqueak, grab Kettle and a rope, I'll cover you!" Gai shouted over the sound of the ship's cannons, scoring a headshot on a Gormin survivor. Pipsqueak nodded, handing the pistol back to Gai and draping Kettle's arm over his shoulders and taking a rope in his free hand, screaming as he was suddenly yanked straight up into the hull of the ship.

"Come on princess!" Gai said, blasting another Gormin's head off, "we have to go!" Flurry Heart nodded, grabbing on to Gai as he took a rope in his free hand and the pair were yanked upwards into the ship.

Author's Notes:

YES!!! IT'S DONE!!! FINALLY, BLESSEDLY DONE!!! THE WRITER'S BLOCK CAN END!!!

please don't hate me for jumping on the "Wish Fulfillment" bandwagon...