I stood in the back of the massive crowd of ponies. It seemed like the whole town had turned out, just to see a one mare show upon a rickety portable stage. I had begun thinking about it derisively until I realized how lacking the town was in formal entertainment. It wasn't bad... the ponies made their own fun, in plenty of ways. But actually seeing a show here in Ponyville was a rare treat. It wasn't like Midgar with its television numbed masses. I didn't recall a travelling troupe like this ever showing up in Nibelheim, where Tifa and I grew up, but I was sure we would have given them a similar turnout, now that I thought of it.

The showmare was entertaining enough, but she was arrogant, and her boastfulness started to get under the skin of my friends. I didn't notice at first, as they were in the front row, and I in the back to keep my height from blocking any ponies' views. But as their voices started to reach me, their tone alerted me that something was amiss, and I began slowly making my way around the outskirts of the herd.

Rainbow Dash hovered over the stage, confronting the mare verbally. This resulted in an illusory depiction of the showmare defeating some kind of bear-shaped constellation. I didn't know what it was supposed to symbolize, exactly, but it was enough for Rainbow to back off for the moment.

As I got close enough to make out words, I heard the showmare issue a challenge. "Anything you can do, I can do better. Any takers? Anyone? Hmm? Or is Trixie destined to be the greatest equine who has ever lived!?"

Applejack got up onto stage with the showmare, and put on an impressive show with her rope skills. I had never realized her tail had that kind of strength in it. Wasn't it pure hair? I guessed maybe this was just a form of pony magic. The unicorn countered by performing similar stunts with her telekinesis, ending up hogtying AJ. Honestly, with telekinesis being such a common unicorn trick, I was more impressed with the earth mare, despite the result.

Still, I was annoyed at the treatment of my friend. After the incident with Gilda, though, I didn't want to make my reputation among the ponies worse if I could avoid it.

Rainbow was next to challenge her. The mare flew into the sky, passing through a cloud before zooming back down. She deployed the moisture from her mane, making a little rainbow appear in the air above her. Cute, though hardly the most impressive display I had scene from her. The showmare somehow grabbed the rainbow in her magic and used it to spin Dash around, toppling her off the stage. Ouch. That had been humiliating, but when this 'Trixie' followed up by conjuring a lightning bolt, that was a line too far.

"Oh, and what are you going to do?" the unicorn asked, causing me to realize I had hopped up on stage.

I froze. I had no idea what I was going to do. Punch her? Make an oven malfunction? She deserved an upstaging, not a violent beating, and I was unprepared to deliver either. Embarrassed, I slipped off the stage, and went to help Dash up instead.

"What we need is a unicorn, someone with magic of their own," Spike said. He seemed to be trying to encourage Twilight to go up there, but the modest librarian refused. Rarity stepped up to the occasion instead. Stepping hoof on the stage, she showed off her body a bit. I knew she was considered beautiful by the other ponies, though I wasn't great at seeing it myself.

When she magically wrapped herself in her hair a moment, before popping out in a dress I recognized from her ponyquinns in her shop, her hair settling into a whole other style... well, that I actually was a bit impressed with. Trixie's counter, merely transforming Rarity's mane into a green mess was less impressive as well as mean spirited.

"Are you okay, Dash?" I asked. When she nodded I added "then let's go!"

Dash, sensing what I was thinking, charged toward the stage in a rainbow blur, ready to follow up on my deployment of violence with one of her own. It took her a moment to realize she had misread me, and streak after me, catching up with me despite my mako-enhanced speed just as I was finally catching up with the fleeing Rarity.

"No! Don't look at me! I'm hideous!" Rarity cried out as she tried to evade me.

"Dash, lead the way," I said as I managed to grab Rarity around the barrel and lift her bodily off her hooves.

"Where to?" the pegasus questioned.

"Isn't it obvious. Emergency Spa day!"

"Thank you so much for saving me, Cloud," Rarity said as we relaxed in the lounge chairs, while the twins worked on the two mare's hooves. They were still quietly consulting over whether and how to attempt to deal with my own nails. Regardless, we were all quite relaxed after the massages and hot tub soak.

"You're welcome, though there is a simple way you could repay me," I offered.

"Oh my, I didn't think you would be so bold, so soon after our last discussion," Rarity said, obviously feigning shock.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Rainbow asked her.

"I just meant you could pay for the spa treatment for both of us," I stammered out, blushing like a beet.

"Oh, of course darling," Rarity said with a giggle. "How could I not. To answer your question though, Dashie, our friend here just confessed to me that she isn't sure whether she prefers stallions or mares. And that she has experience with neither, for that matter."

At the moment, I realized the benefits to talking behind someone's back, for the sake of the someone being talked about.

"Really? An awesome pony like you has never? Wait, are we just talking ponies here, or like, your own kind too?" Dash questioned.

My face tried to find a redder shade to turn, but the spectrum failed me there. "There were a couple ladies of my own kind I was interested in dating, before I came here unexpectedly, but never had a chance to do so."

"Sounds to me like you have your preference," Rainbow commented.

"Well, I was... a guy at the time," I confessed.

Rarity gasped, while Rainbow answered with a "wait, what?"

I took a deep breath and steady myself, before taking the time to explain the circumstances of my arrival here in Equestria. "...I told Fluttershy about the change when I first arrived. We were discussing the differences between human and pony biology, so it just felt... safe to tell her about the differences between how I was and how I was used to being."

"To think that someone would sell such dangerously enchanted clothing! The scandal of it all!" Rarity pointed out. "I'm sorry dear, I never realized what you were going through this whole time. I can't imagine what it would be like to be suddenly made into a stallion against my will... not that either is worse than the other, but, you know what I mean."

"All too well," I agreed.

"Well, I think you're awesome, stallion or mare," Rainbow said, offering me a hoofbump. "I really did think you were going to beat up that Trixie back there, though. Why didn't you? I mean, you beat up Gilda..."

"And what did that accomplish?" I asked. "Trixie was obnoxious and mean, but she's not a monster that needs to be put down. What she needs is to be shown up, but I really can't do that. Without materia to focus my power, I can't do anything much with magic, and I don't even have any fancy rope skills like Applejack. Give me a sword and I'll take on any monster, any day. But a fight of stagecraft?"

"Don't sell yourself short, darling," Rarity said. "I've seen you take on an amazing variety of challenges since you've been in Ponyville. Surely you can..."

"Can I outdo you in making clothing? Or Pinkie in baking? Or Applejack in harvesting apples?" I countered. "Stagecraft is her specialty. I can't outdo her in her greatest strength."

"But she challenged us all in our greatest strengths," Rainbow countered. "Beat her in what you're best at."

"What I'm best at is violence," I pointed out. "Are you honestly suggesting I challenge her to a fight? Without any of my equipment, especially materia, she'll just hold me up with her magic and I won't be able to do anything."

"No, you're right, she doesn't deserve to be beaten up," Rarity said, sounding a bit sad about it. "Even after what she did to my mane."

"It looks much better now," I said, indirectly complimenting the twins who were now working on my own nails.

"It's still green," she pouted in response.

I put in some time working at Sugarcube Corner after the spa, helping Pinkie clean up after the day's baking. "How did Gilda's party go?" I inquired as I did the dishes and she wiped down the counters.

"It was okay," she said. "Rainbow tried to liven things up with some sweet pranks, but they all ended up going off on Gilda, and she got mad and left. It was kind of a downer, but then we turned our frowners upside-downers and had a good time the rest of the night."

I nodded, "you were a lot nicer about the whole thing than I was. Too bad it sounds like your way didn't really work either."

Pinkie shrugged, refusing to stay down. "How was your spa day? Oh, hay! Are your fingernails pink now?! Wow!" She hopped over to me, checking out my nails as I blushed. "The toes too?! Thank you!" she hugged me fiercely, making me glad I had gone through such intense training in SOLDIER. I don't know if an infantryman could have survived her hugs.

"For what?" I asked, confused.

"For going with my color, silly billy! That means you're going to take me out when you get to the Golden Saucer, right?" the mare asked.

"What are you even talking about?" I asked, even more confused. "Wait, what? No. Pink is just a very standard color for women to paint their nails..."

"Aww," she said disappointed for a fraction of a moment before bouncing back. "Okie dokie loki! Still, if you ever want a private party just let me know!"

My mind reeled, trying to make sense of the party pony, and second guessing my guesses.

Thankfully, an earth shaking roar interrupted us.

I ran outside, followed closely by Pinkie, and looked for the source of the sound. It was hard to miss. I no longer thought the images Trixie had displayed were quite so metaphorical now. I constellation, shaped like a bear, was tearing up the town near where Trixie's show had been. I braced to run toward it, then thought better of that idea, and ran the other way instead. First, anyways.

The bear was stalking toward a cowering Trixie when they came into view. I was running at them as fast as I could, eyes glowing with mako energy, my movements greatly inhibited by the load I was carrying before me. It was a ridiculous gambit, but it was what I had to work with.

"Hey! Big, fat and ugly!" I taunted. Trixie remained frozen in my path while the bear paused a moment to look past her to me. Perfect. Everyone was lined up just right.

"Take this!" I shouted as I reached the showmare, taking perverse satisfaction as I ran up her back, knowing the force of my steps would be like powerful kicks, a bit of subtle vengeance arguably justified by the maneuver that might just save her. I kicked off her head, leaping up toward the massive bear.

As I guessed, it wasn't content to let me come to it, but instead lashed out with one clawed paw, swinging to hit me mid-air. Perfect. Twisting to face it, I opened the door of the oven I was carrying, aiming it to catch one of the claws in its interior. The bear didn't know to worry. Even with the claw striking the back of the metal contraption instead of my thin clothing, I was in for a world of hurt: the claw slammed the oven into my torso, nearly managing to wind me, and succeeding in changing my direction of movement toward a nearby wall. But before we separated, I slammed my hand onto the control to the oven.

It was like a Fire Materia, I realized, making sense of the sensations with the mako flowing and the adrenaline heightening my awareness. Flames raced up the bear's spectral fur, making it roar out in pain. I saw it turn to flee, back towards the woods, even as physics took its course, and I made my way inexorably into a wall.

I was instantly surrounded with flashing lights of various colors, rhythmic pulsing sounds, and a thin fog. I thought at first they must all be concussion based hallucinations, until they stopped suddenly, a white unicorn stepping from behind a control panel to approach me, considering me through opaque round glasses, her ears still covered by a pair of massive headphones.

She surveyed the damage, noting I was well enough to start to sit up, and saw the distant tail of the beast. "Did you just chase off that Ursa Minor?" she asked.

I nodded, brushing the rubble off of myself as best I could.

"Wicked!" she declared, earning a dazed grin from me.

A couple of colts ran up to me as I approached Trixie. I had a piece of the destroyed oven in my left hand, a crystal shard that made the whole thing work. It wasn't technically materia, but it was close enough for me to make a bit of fire with.

"That was awesome! You're awesome! You're the awesomest, Cloud Strife! Can we have your autograph?!"

I ignored them for now, making my way to the showmare.

"Coming to gloat at the humbled and humiliated Trixie?" she asked me, accusingly.

Something in the back of my mind told me to reach out to her, to lift her up. But the front of my mind told me this was a victory, time to celebrate it as such. It was what someone like Sepheroth would do, surely. I crossed my arms, looking down at her with a triumphant smirk. "You can do a lot, Trixie, but you aren't in my league when it comes to combat. Know your limits."

"You may have vanquished an ursa minor, but you will never have the amazing, show-stopping ability of the Great and Powerful Trixie!" the unicorn declared. A burst of power created a pyrotechnic display and a cloud of smoke, hiding her from view as she retreated past the crowd of ponies that had gathered.

"Why, that little..." Rainbow Dash muttered, taking flight to pursue her.

"Rainbow!" I called her back. "What do you even plan to do if you catch her?"

"Make her pay for all this!" she said, gesturing at the damaged buildings.

The two colts from earlier approached me sheepishly. "Well, you see... it's not really her fault," the one with the scissors brand admitted. "Uh, we're sorry that we woke up the ursa minor."

"We just wanted to see some awesome magic," the one with a snail marking added.

"Yeah! And the way you vanquished that ursa minor was awesome!" scissors pointed out.

"We deserve whatever punishment you give us," snail flank conceded.

"Well, she was still a jerk!" Rainbow pointed out. That voice at the back of my head nagged me some more, as I looked, catching sight of the blue mare still receding into the distance.

"Alright, come on. Follow my lead," I said to Rainbow as I started after her, eyes glowing as I broke into a sprint once I was past the crowd.

I skidded to a stop just past Trixie, cutting off her retreat, Rainbow dropping to the ground next to me.

"What do you want from the great and powerful Trixie now?!" Trixie demanded, quickly wiping away some tears.

"I challenge you to a contest of might and skill," I said.

"Yeah," Rainbow said, before looking at me, "wait, what?"

"You wish to humiliate Trixie further? As you said, Trixie is no warrior," she admitted.

"And I am not construction worker, and neither are you I take it? So it's even ground. We'll each pick teams to help us, and split the repair work that's needed between the two. The town can vote on who did a better job fixing everything," I challenged. "Your stage counts too, even if it isn't permanently part of the town, it was here and caught up in the same rampage."

Rainbow recovered from her surprise, and nodded along. "That's right, unless you're too wussy to take on a challenge like that," she dug.

"Trixie will show you. Trixie will show you up close and personal. Trixie choses you for her team," the showmare declared.

"What, hay!" Rainbow objected.

"That's fine. I issued the challenge, so Trixie can chose first. But one thing: each of us gets one of those colts that caused the mess as a member of our team," I insisted.

As we approached the scene of the destruction, however, a massive roar shook the earth. Looking up, we saw a purple monstrosity towering over the buildings, sparkling with stars. It was roughly bear shaped, the resemblance to the ursa minor quite obvious. But this one dwarfed the one I had driven off. Along with the buildings it was now savagely destroying, and even more so the ponies now threatening to trample us in their escape.

"Come on!" I shouted, rushing toward the creature, gripping the makeshift Fire materia in my hand hard enough to draw a bit of blood.

"Trixie will just be going now!" the showmare said as she turned and fled.

"I get the feeling she's the smart one here," Rainbow pointed out, though she kept pace with me.

The ursa minor had been destructive, but now we got to see not only real power, but also real malevolence. The difference in its will to destroy was palpable in its actions. I didn't know what we would be able to do against it. I was fairly certain I was running toward my death, but I just couldn't help but feel like I needed to be the one to deal with this threat.

But in the end, I wasn't. Rounding the final corner I saw the most unexpected thing. A little butter-furred pegasus flitting up directly in front of the bear-shaped constellation. The mare who I had seen cringe fearfully from a fly stared the beast in the eye with such ferocity that the beast cringed fearfully from her. The sweet gal who couldn't speak loud enough for me to hear her name straight the first time, nor gather the courage to correct me on mispronouncing it, opened her mouth wide and shouted down the bear, berating it into submission until it finally fled with a pathetic whimper in its voice.

Rainbow and I slowed our approach, walking slowly the last few yards to catch up to Fluttershy as she landed. When she turned on me, I nearly had a heartattack as she hit me with a faint echo of what she had turned loose on the bear. "You shouldn't have attacked that little baby bear cub," Fluttershy accused, speaking firmly but not shouting.

My mind reeled. Baby?! Then that last one was its mom? That made some kind of sense. "Sorry..." I had said before my mind caught up. "I didn't know what else to do, it was destroying the town and threatening to hurt Trixie."

"It's okay," she forgave instantly, speaking much quieter now. "You did your best. But now there's so much damage to Ponyville..."

"I know, and I'll help fix it. Along with those two colts, Trixie if she hasn't run off too far, and any other ponies who are willing to lend a hand. Sorry, hoof," I said, looking back to see if I could see Trixie anywhere.

"I'd be happy to help," Fluttershy said before yawning, "if it can wait till morning?"

"Sure, but there's something you could help with tonight," I said.

At my request, Fluttershy was kind enough to give Trixie a place to stay until the damage could be repaired, while other ponies took in the locals whose homes had been damaged. In the morning, we were able to get quite a few volunteers to help with the repairs, most of the town in fact, and while a number of them took on supporting roles, such as Pinkie and the Cakes catering for their respective teams, rather than lifting hammer and nail, we were able to fix the town completely within three days.

Trixie left triumphantly, having earned the victory in our little contest. I had my own stupidly big trophy re-engraved to award her. While her teammates complained for weeks about her rude, condescending and overbearing way as a foremare, her attention to detail and insistence on a flair for style had left many of the homes looking better after the repairs than before they had been destroyed, while my own team had gone for a simpler, more casual job that left everything sturdy and functional, but not always elegant.

But the events had highlighted something for me; I was woefully underequipped. For someone who claimed to be best at deploying violence, I didn't even have a weapon, much less quality arms and armor. I needed to change that, and I needed to change it soon. Fluttershy might be good at diffusing situations, but I needed to be prepared to protect her if that ever failed, to say nothing of the rest of Ponyville. I still had debts, sure, but the ponies I owed were in no rush to collect, and I had a fair number of bits to my name. It was time to see a blacksmith about a sword.