8:01 pm, Canterlot
“So, Twilie, dear. Are you involved with these two, what were you again? Humans?” Twilight Velvet asked her daughter.

“What? No! Well,” Twilight fumbled. “Well, I did go on a very sweet date with Nanaki once, and I’ve been friends with Cloud since I moved to Ponyville, more or less. But that’s all! Just friends.”

“That’s good,” Night Light said. “I’m not sure how I’d feel about you joining a herd without any other ponies in it.”

“If we did make it a herd, there’re a few other mares that would likely join,” Nanaki offered. While I looked at him sharply, Twilight blushed and tried to shrink into her chair and Night Light looked a little relieved.

“But no stallions?” Velvet questioned. “That’s kind of a deal breaker for me. I want grandchildren, and I expect both my children to do their part there.”

“Your daughter’s a very talented wizard, and I hear there is magic to bridge those sorts of gaps,” Nanaki pointed out. “I’m sure it wouldn’t be a problem for her.”

“Can we not have this conversation right now?” I asked. “We’re not forming a herd, or inviting Twilight into one. I promise if that ever changes one of us will let you know.”

“Alright, alright,” Velvet said. “I’m sorry to put you all on the spot like that. You just looked so sweet together, holding hands like that, and I thought… but, if you haven’t, you know, done anything together then I guess we can just drop it.”

Twilight looked back and forth between her parents, mind reeling as she couldn’t quite bring herself to deny it.

“Twilight’s still a virgin,” I pointed out.

“Technically,” Twilight whispered.

“Details!” Velvet demanded, a notepad and quill floating from her saddlebags. “And more breadsticks!”

Night Light looked apologetic, as Nanaki grinned and Twilight and I each looked to the other to deal with the demand.

“Bathroom!” Twilight shouted before teleporting out of view.

8:01 am, Ponyville

The waitress rushed off as soon as the pair arrived, bussing a table in seconds before eagerly showing them to it. She was clearly nervous, but did her job courteously and efficiently, leaving them with menus to peruse. The stallion wondered idly whether her nervousness was the common reaction to thestrals that had been waning with each passing night as they proved themselves as protectors of the common pony, or a response to the royal personage accompanying him.

The other ponies in the restaurant all paused in their breakfasts to witness the unusual couple coming for dinner.

“I admit, even aside from my time in exile, it has been quite uncommon to be sought so boldly and openly by a stallion. Do you simply hit on any mare that catches your fancy?” Luna asked.

“I do,” Solar Eclipse admitted. “And I admit it doesn’t always get this far. But I never regret trying just because somepony says no. I would have regretted never so much as asking you out. I mean, it’s not a wedding proposal or anything. Just a chance to get to know one another. That’ll come, or it won’t.”

“That you might regret trying,” Luna said with a smirk. “You’ll have more than just your commanding officer on your case if you dare propose to a princess.”

Solar shrugged nonchalantly. “You’re worth it. But I don’t love you enough for that, yet. And you don’t love me enough to say yes, unless you’re just desperate, and neither of us wants to know that. But that does make me wonder- oh, let’s order first. I’ll have the eggs bolognese, and a side of strawberries,” he told the waitress.

“I don’t even know what that is,” Luna admitted with a sigh.

“Try it? My treat,” Solar offered. “It’s quite good.”

“Your treat?” she asked, before nodding to the waitress and returning the menu. “I’m a princess, I can afford to-”

Solar cut her off with one wing, surprising her with his forwardness. “You can pay when you ask me out,” he said with an arrogant grin. “But this time, I asked you, and I think it’s rude to ask someone to buy you a meal.”

“Alright,” Luna said. “Though perhaps whether I ever ask you out will come down to how much I like this mysterious new style of eggs.”

“They’re good,” he repeated. “But I imagine it will depend more how you care for our conversation. Speaking of which… you mentioned how hard it would be to marry you, but what about your needs? As a mare, I mean?”

It was Luna’s turn to shrug. “Nopony will begrudge me a dalliance on the side, should I choose to indulge.”

“I might, if it’s somepony else,” Solar offered, then tapped his chin. “Or I might not… I admit the thought of you and another stallion isn’t exactly filling me with jealousy.”

Luna giggled. “I can guess what it is filling you with.”

Solar shrugged. “You’ve seen everypony’s dreams. You know full well what stallions imagine.”

“Mmm. I imagine I’ll be in your dreams tonight, whether I visit them or not,” Luna said.

“Undoubtedly,” Solar agreed.

8:24 pm, Canterlot

“This is just so embarrassing,” Twilight complained from her stall, the walls giving it a weird sort of echo.

“I agree,” I said from the next stall over. “But I’m not sure leaving them alone with Nanaki is going to make things less embarrassing for us in the long run.”

“Oh my gosh, you’re right. That stallion has no filter,” Twilight fretted.

“It’s worse than that,” I said. “He knows exactly what he’s doing.”

“If we don’t stop him he’s going to…” Twilight worried.

“...tell your parents we had sex with him while we were merged together?” I finished. “Why do you think I ran off to join you in here? But we’re going to have to face them. What’s the worst they’re going to do, though, really? Criticize you harshly for your life choices? They love you, they’re not going to disown you over something like this.”

“Worse,” Twilight said. “She’ll dig for every juicy detail and use them as inspiration for a trashy romance novel.”

I sat in silence for a moment, recalling that her mother was a writer. “Would she actually do that?” I asked. I knew Twilight was prone to jumping to the worst possible outcome.

“Yes!” she insisted, before becoming less certain. “Probably. Maybe? I don’t really know, but you asked what was the worst. And, well… if it was a more normal situation, nopony would be sure it was based on me, but you know our friends are going to recognize it instantly when they read about a pony and a human merged together, doing… those kinds of things.”

“That’d be pretty hard to mistake, unless she obscures it very well,” I admitted. “But… would our friends even read it? You’re the only really major bookworm I know.”

“Rarity reads every romance novel that hits the library’s shelves, and I have a fiduciary duty to properly shelve any book that is published without regards to my personal feelings on them,” Twilight said. “Pinkie borrows books seemingly at random, so no telling if or when she would read it. Spike… used to stay away from that section, or so I thought up until I caught him and Sweetie Belle reading 50 Shades of Hay together. Of course, Rainbow Dash and Applejack never take time to read anything but the weather schedule, for their respective reasons, so they’d only read it if, well, Rarity suggests it.”

“Rainbow’s going to find out about it eventually,” I said. “She’ll probably want to be next. And if I try to say no, she’ll point to us and demand to know why you got to try it but she can’t. Don’t expect a rational answer to work for something like that.”

We sat in silence for a moment. “Do you… do you think you would, you know… form a herd, like Nanaki mentioned?”

I shook my head before remembering she couldn’t see the gesture, and my hairstyle didn’t make it particularly audible. “No. It’s not impossible, and if you mares pushed I might give in, but that’s not what I want, and Nanaki knows it. And as much as he teases, I believe he respects it. Life and love are complicated enough without trying to balance the needs of several lovers. And you each deserve more than a share of a heart dedicated to you.”

After a little more silence, Twilight spoke up again. “But, what if we end up with less?” she asked. “I don’t meet many stallions squirrelled away in my library. Few venture into Rarity’s boutique. Pinkie meets enough, but none of them take her seriously. You’ve… heard all these arguments before, but they’re still true. There’s a reason nopony but you actually pushed back against the herd idea.”

“And they’re all, really, just cowardice and fear,” I replied. “Accepting something you know is mediocre rather than take the risks involved in seeking something better. You and our friends are going to have to face the risk of being alone for the time, or even a few heartbreaking rejections, so that you can ultimately get your happy ending. And for that matter, you and I need to go face your parents. We’ve been in here long enough.”

“Well… maybe you have, but I’m going to need another minute,” Twilight said apologetically. “I’ll meet you out there when I’m done.”

8:33 am, Ponyville

“... a lot of rookies think the unicorn swordponies have some big advantage, because they can float their swords around, and attack from different angles. And don’t get me wrong, it can help, especially if they’re good at it. But here’s the thing. You take your sword in your mouth and hold it. Just hold it still. Effortless. Maybe not so much with a big blade like mine, but normally. Especially with a shortsword like the unicorns use, yeah? You can stand there all day, no problem. It’s only an effort at all when you actually swing it. But for a unicorn? Just holding the blade still with their horn? That’s burning energy nonstop. And when they swing, it’s as much effort as swinging with your mouth on top of the effort to hold it up. In a fight, you can tire them out just waiting them out. And blocking or dodging is often less tiring than attacking. On the other hoof, they can’t block a massive sword like mine, not with their little floating daggers. Even an armor blow will give ‘em a nasty bruise, even knock ‘em over. A unicorn can’t wield anything that heavy, not with their horn at any rate. A few of them have the physique to do it like an earth pony would. Like Captain Shining Armor, for example. That’s a unicorn who can lift a sword.”

“Can we talk about something other than swords?” Luna inquired.

“Oh, um… sure,” Eclipse said, thrown off his game by the sudden interruption. Especially since she hadn’t suggested a new topic to move to.

Luna’s expression softened a bit. “Don’t get me wrong. I like swords as much as any mare. I have a good half-dozen I bring with me when there’s trouble that needs some good old fashioned violence to deal with. And for the record, an alicorn can wield a sword as big as yours with her horn no problem.”

“That I’d like to see,” Eclipse said, grinning at the thought. “But you wanted to talk about something else so… umm…”

“You really don’t have anything else to talk about?” Luna asked

“Nothing springs to mind… Ponyville is… kind of boring? I mean, aside from fighting off monsters. Back in Canterlot, you’d always catch somepony or other sneaking off with somepony else, thinking they were getting away with something in the dark of the night. And they kind of did, I mean, we never really called them out on it or told their spouses or whatever. We were there to prevent violence, or thefts, not trysts you know?” Eclipse explained. “And it gave us something to gossip about. But here in Ponyville nopony really tries to get away with that sort of stuff. Maybe because it’s so small? Seems like everypony knows what everypony is up to. So nopony ever tries to sneak anything in on the side. And if anypony is doing anything openly… night is the time for sneaking, day is the time for doing things openly. You know, when we’re all asleep.”

Luna sighed a moment before perking up. “Wait… you haven’t been out of Canterlot that long. Who’ve you seen going off on these trysts? Any of the nobility?”

Eclipse scratched the back of his head a moment, unsure whether to continue. “Well… it’s been a while, and we only ever saw things from a distance you understand. Can’t really verify identities that well, but…”

8:41 pm, Canterlot

When I returned, Velvet clearly had something she wanted to say, but kept it to herself and focused on her meal until Twilight returned. “There you are, Twilie, I was afraid you were going to skip out on us.”

“I’m not that cowardly,” the purple unicorn claimed. “You’ve been talking with Nanaki.”

“We have,” Velvet confirmed. “And I’m a bit disappointed that even after… taking such liberties with you, he’s not willing to invite you into his family. But, I am excited about the concept.”

“The concept?” Twilight and I asked in unison. I glanced at her, wondering if we were a bit unnaturally in sync because of the recent experience.

“Twilight Velvet and I are going to be collaborating on a novel, perhaps a series, fictionalizing Pinkie’s herd proposal,” Nanaki explained. “You and I will be portrayed as minotaurs in the books,” he added to me. “And we’ll leave out the whole incident with Twilight here. And add more than a few things that never actually happened, of course.”

“Fantasies sell better than reality anyways,” Velvet said. “But using real people as inspiration to draw from for characterization usually helps give it that thin veneer of plausibility that real helps it shine.”

“So in your way, you get to be monogamous and in a herd?” I asked Nanaki. I thought about it, the appeal quickly growing on me. Just because I didn’t want to live a complicated love life, didn’t mean I couldn’t appreciate the fantasy.

Nanaki gave me one of his signature infuriating smirks, the kind I had grown rather unreasonably fond of. The kind that told you he had figured out something terribly amusing about you, and left you wondering exactly what it was, and whether you knew it about yourself yet. This time, though, he didn’t follow it with a comment, making it that much harder to guess what was on his mind. I had only my own thoughts to guess from. Did he ever give that smirk just to make someone think he was reading their mind when he didn’t really have a clue? Probably.

“So… we were here to do research, but we found what we needed, so,” Twilight began. “Do you mind if I spend the rest of the night with my parents?”

“Not at all,” I said. “We can meet back up tomorrow… or the next day if you prefer.”

Twilight nodded. “I’d like to do some more experiments, now that we know how to undo it. But I should take a little time to visit with friends and family while I am in town.”

Nanaki nodded. “And we have some matters we should investigate while we are in town as well. Rejoin us the day after tomorrow, and we’ll head back to Ponyville in a few days.”

“It’ll be great having you home again, Twilight,” Night Light said. “Now, let’s finish our dinner.”

9:03 am, Ponyville

Luna and Eclipse strolled slowly through Ponyville. The morning unfolded around them, with ponies heading off to their jobs, errands, or school. Eclipse held one wing aloft to shield his sensitive eyes from the sun as they went.

“Thank you for treating me, Solar Eclipse. We had a great time. It has been far too long since we have had a date, and longer still since one was nearly so enjoyable,” Luna said.

“Great,” Eclipse said. “I had a really great time too. In fact, I’d say that was the best first date I’ve ever had. And I’m not just saying that because you’re a princess.”

Luna looked away sadly, frowning at nothing in particular. The walked in silence for a time, before she finally spoke again. “Eclipse… I do not think this will work out. Not in the long run.”

“Of course not,” he said nonchalantly.

“I’m glad you agree,” she said. “It will make it much easier to-”

“You’re immortal,” he continued, cutting her off. “I suppose I could be the next alicorn to ascend, or find some other way to become ageless, but… I’m betting I won’t. I’ll die long before you, and I’ll have my studly figure far shorter than that. So you’d best make the best use of what little time we have, while you can. Make some great memories, maybe get some nice, durable trinket to remember me by.”

“You really won’t take no for an answer, will you?” Luna asked, half smirking.

“You have yet to give me ‘no’ as an answer,” he countered. “If you did, I suppose I would have to accept your royal decree.”

“It isn’t just decades from now that will be challenging,” Luna said.

“You live in Canterlot, I’m stationed in Ponyville,” he allowed. “Fortunately, I know when I dream of you, you can actually be there. But that’s a matter for tomorrow. For tonight, you’re right here. And if I never have another day with you, I’ll be glad I had today.”

Luna studied him as they walked again in silence, before giving a cautious smile. “Right… I too will be glad we had today.” She opened the door to the inn where she was staying, when they finally arrived, and held it for him. “Coming in?”