“Quill,” Twilight requested.

“Hoo,” Owlowiscious said as he placed a quill upon her writing desk.

“Parchment.”

“Hoo.”

“Extra ink.”

“Hoo.”

“Extra extra ink.”

“Hoo.”

“Is that everything on the checklist?”

“Hoo?”

Twilight sighed as she levitated her checklist of things she needed to make a checklist, and verified that she had gotten everything. “Now to make my checklist of things I need to do today.”

Something felt a bit off about the whole scene, but it still had a therapeutic orderliness to the whole thing. And it was in some sense useful. She rarely forgot to do something, at least not for very long, as she always had a written record of it, complete with tick marks to let her know if she had done it or not. Along with her copious written notes, she was unusually well prepared for being struck with total amnesia and needing to relearn everything about herself.

Spike was gone, she realized. It wasn’t news at this point, but it still caught her off guard when the realization reached her consciousness from time to time. She closed her eyes, grieving his absence for a moment before moving on. He wasn’t dead, or even entirely out of her life, which made it much easier, but she still missed him being everpresent.

Despite the owl’s helpfulness in retrieving things, Twilight was still left to write her own checklists using her magic, something that tended to leave a bit of a cramp in her horn by the end of the day. Nevertheless, it was worth it to be organized, and before long she had her tasks for the day all mapped out.

“Hi Twilight!” Pinkie Pie greeted as the door to Sugarcube Corner opened. The earth pony hadn’t even turned from the oven where she was pulling out a freshly baked tray of cupcakes.

“How did you know it was me?” Twilight asked as she approached the counter.

“Because it’s 7:48, silly,” Pinkie Pie pointed out while she carefully began transferring the cupcakes from the baking tray to the box. She then glanced over at the clock, noticing it was 7:44. “Oh, woops. You’re a bit early.”

“I was able to get a great start on the day,” Twilight said. “I’m almost done with my checklist.”

Pinkie took the list and checked it over, noting that after acquiring cupcakes, all that remained was to check the checklist, double check the checklist, and triple check the checklist.

“I feel like something’s missing,” Pinkie said.

“What could I be missing?” Twilight asked, snatching the list back and reviewing it.

“It’s Tuesday… isn’t there something you usually do on Tuesdays?” Pinkie asked. Tapping her chin she muttered, “It isn’t writing Friendship Reports, so what is it now?”

“It’s Tuesday?!” Twilight exclaimed. “I present my latest research and development progress to Cloud on Tuesdays! But I haven’t researched or developed anything since we buried the Elements. How am I supposed to come up with something ready to present by sundown?”

“Calm down, I’m sure she’ll be willing to give you a pass if you apologize,” Pinkie offered.

“A pass? This is Cloud Strife we’re talking about! She’s not a pony. She’s not exactly the friendliest person in Equestria, even if you excluded all the ponies. She doesn’t forgive her problems, she cuts them in half with a sword! How can I take that chance?!” the librarian said in a mounting panic.

“Cloud doesn’t cut ponies in half, silly. Well I suppose she might if Trixie hired her to be her assistant in her act, but magic shows don’t count,” Pinkie said.

“Still… even if you’re right, I have my own pride to think about. I’ve got to at least try!” Twilight said.

“Well, I suppose you could cast Want It, Need It on a doll and see what happens,” Pinkie Pie suggested.

Twilight stared in surprise at the party pony as she slid the box of cupcakes over. “How do you know about that spell?”

Pinkie froze a moment, then smoothly slid along the counter, slipping her face into her hoof. “Look, Twilight, that’s not important. What is important is the tactical applications of a Want It, Need It distraction grenade as a way to get monsters or other enemies fixated on a useless prop while we freely dispatch them,” she said. “Besides, you were going to do something like that by the end of the episode anyways.”

“Episode? Pinkie, my life is not a radio serial,” Twilight objected.

“More of a fanfiction, really,” Pinkie declared.

“Like Fifty Shades of Hay?” Twilight inquired.

“Sure, let’s go with that,” Pinkie accepted.

“That would explain a lot,” Twilight said, blushing lightly while shaking her head. She checked her checklist to see where she had left off, traded some bits for the box of cupcakes and began the process of triple checking. “Thanks, Pinkie. I’ll see you at the picnic!”

Twilight stopped by the library. She still had a good hour before the picnic, and Pinkie’s words had stuck with her. The strange implications of the fact that the pink mare happened to know about an obscure spell in Twilight’s library had faded from her mind, while the ideas of how it might actually have potential were swirling in her thoughts instead.

With a simple command, Owlowiscious flew to bring her the book she desired, and in minutes she had committed the details of the spell to memory. This brought the question of what to cast it on to mind. And on that point she was caught up in analysis paralysis until the clock alerted her to the fact she was about to be late to the picnic.

One quick teleport later and she was atop the hill where the Elements of Harmony and Elements of Greatness were gathering and setting out supplies for our joint picnic.

“Hi Twilight! Where’s the cupcakes?” Pinkie asked, among the other greetings. The unicorn’s cheeks colored in embarrassment, before a quick pair of teleportations left her breathless, with a box of donuts upon her back. “Oh, there they are!” Pinkie said before moving on.

While the rest of us were setting up our own contributions, Twilight opened the box to survey the contents. “Oh! Good thing I got a baker’s dozen. That means I can have one myself,” she noted. She then paused, looking at one of the cupcakes that had accidentally gotten a good amount of frosting transferred over from its neighbor, leaving it distinctly better than the others. A manic grin began to form behind the opened box lid as her problem seemed to solve itself. Her horn glowed for a few seconds before closing the box and placing it in the middle of one of the spread blankets. “Help yourselves to cupcakes,” she invited. “There’s a baker’s dozen, so there’s one for each of us.”

“I suppose I should be the one to do without then,” Nanaki offered, causing Twilight to jump.

“Oh! I didn’t realize you would be here too, Nanaki,” Twilight said. “It’s my fault, so I should be the one to do without.”

“No, it’s my fault,” Pinkie said, “I invited him but I didn’t put an extra extra cupcake in your order. Buuuut. If you’re both not having one, I’ll have two!”

“I don’t really need a cupcake,” I offered.

“Especially since you have your beefcake?” Pinkie suggested before I could continue.

“So maybe the foals can each have two?” I suggested.

“Now hold on,” Applejack intervened. “There’s five fillies, plus Spike, so we’d just about all have’ta do without fer all the foals to have two. And I was lookin’ forward ta havin’ one as part of my meal.”

“Yeah Cloud, you can’t just give away our cupcakes,” Rainbow Dash said. “In fact, I’d better have mine now, just to be sure.” The pegasus quickly opened the box and just as quickly took out the cupcake with extra frosting. However, rather than instantly devour it, she held it before her in both forehooves, staring mesmerized.

Not that I could blame her. It was the best cupcake I had ever seen. Truly, it was the perfect pinnacle of cupcake kind. The perfectly shapely frosting rising up the center, augmented by a practically naughty dab of foreign frosting, lying atop it like the evidence of a forbidden tryst. The clockwork regularity of the little ridges all around the base of it. Even the wrapper, soon to be torn off of it, was like the perfect lingerie, hiding just enough to focus the mind on what delectable secrets lie beneath. I felt a slight trickle of blood drip from my nose just from thinking about this, the king of all cupcakes.

My reverie was broken first by the realization that Rainbow Dash was rapidly ascending to protect her cupcake from would-be snatchers, and then a moment later by the fact that the cupcake had become imperilled, falling free from the limp hoof of the sedated flyer.

Fluttershy saved the incredible treat from an untimely smooshing with one hoof, even as her other was still returning her dart rifle to her back. And yet, it was imperiled once again as a lasso wrapped around her barrel and yanked her to the ground.

Spike caught it this time, doubling in size as he reached out his clawed hand to arrest its motion. But now I was finally close to the action. I brought the blunt of my blade down sharply across his wrist, freeing the amazing treat for a second until I snatched it in my own reverent hand.

My grip on the wrapper remained as Rarity’s magic lifted it from my grasp, denuding the baked good and making me want it all the more urgently. My mouth watered as I watched the freshly exposed confection float away from me.

A spray of blue from Scootaloo’s squirt gun caused Rarity’s hair to suddenly puff out to unreasonable proportions, blocking her vision and causing her telekinetic grip to falter. Sweetie Belle caught the cupcake in one hoof, but soon Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon each had a hoof on it as well, and they held it aloft like a tripod as they stumbled back and forth, trying to gain control of the situation.

Finally, the situation was resolved by Pinkie Pie as she bounced over the trio, reaching down and taking the cupcake into her mouth in the maneuver. Before everypony could descend on her, she swallowed it whole, before licking her lips. “Yummy! That cupcake was magically delicious!”

I blinked, looking around in confusion and seeing the state of our party. “What… what just happened.”

“I took detailed notes,” Twilight said. “I’m sorry for not telling everypony up front, but that was the first field test of the new weapon system Pinkie Pie requested. What do you think?”

“Weapon… you weaponized cupcakes?!” I inquired.

“Just the one,” she said timidly. “I couldn’t think what to put the enchantment on, but then I saw that one cupcake had more than the others and, well…”

“Nanaki, can you see if Esuna does any good for Rainbow Dash and Rarity?” I requested, before returning my attention to Twilight. “That could have gone very badly. I barely had the self control to keep from cutting Spike’s hand off right there, and who knows what effects the poison joke might have had.”

“Ugh, what hit me?” Rainbow inquired as the surge of magic faded from her, looking around. “And who ate my cupcake?!”

“Have another one,” I ordered.

“Where’s the box?” she asked. Looking around, I caught sight of a bit of the cardboard stuck in Spike’s teeth about the same time Rainbow did. “So much for that idea.”

“It’s no good,” Nanaki said when his magic failed to help Rarity.

“I think I’m going to cry,” Rarity said. “I guess it’s a small blessing that I can’t see how bad I look, but I can just feel it.”

“Applejack, get Rarity to the spa immediately, they have Zecora’s treatment on hoof,” I commanded. “Rainbow Dash, go get some more cupcakes for everypony. Spike; no more cupcakes for you. You’ve gotten too greedy about them.”

“Sorry,” Spike said, hanging his head until Sweetie Belle put a comforting hoof on his calf.

“I’m sorry, too,” Twilight said. “I didn’t mean to ruin our picnic and endanger everypony.”

“It’s alright,” I said. “That was a good way to demonstrate the effectiveness and ultimately no one was badly hurt. I do want you to start working on countermeasures, though. How do we keep ourselves from being controlled by such mind manipulation magics in the future? Also, what else can you put the spell on? The cupcake was good, but maybe we can find an alternate form factor that’s easy to use in combat situations.”

“Like a rubber chicken?” Pinkie Pie asked.

“No,” I began.

“How about a bouncy ball? Or a beanbag?” Pinkie asked.

I hesitated, thinking. “Yes, those are both good, actually. Easy to throw into a distant enemy group. The bouncy ball will get a lot of distance erratically and can drag several groups into a tussle while the bean bag will fairly predictably lie where it’s thrown for a more controlled deployment. An enchanted dart might work well, too, for Fluttershy to deploy at long range.”

“So I did good?” Twilight asked, happily clopping her hooves.

“Yes, Twilight, you did good.” I reached over to pet her mane, but she turned on me, rearing up to give me a good hug. That would have been fine, if it had gone quite as I had expected. However, as we embraced, she suddenly started glowing, turning into a purple light, and then was absorbed into my body. I felt a weird pressure on my forehead, and a different sort of pressure on each of my hips, almost painful at first before settling into a steady level.

I stood, shocked, as everypony stared at me. “What… happened?” I asked.

“I was hoping you could tell us,” Nanaki said. “Is… Twilight in there?”

“In where?” I asked.

“This is quite fascinating,” Twilight told me. Her voice seemed to come from nowhere in particular, and a quick turn to each side failed to reveal her.

“Twilight?” I asked.

“I’m here. Wherever here is,” Twilight said. “That’s kind of disorienting… I’m guessing I’m seeing through your eyes? But I don’t have the somatic sense to go with it, so when you move your head it’s a bit disconcerting. Hold up your hand to verify, please.”

I did so, noting the faintly purple hue to my skin now. “She’s… in my head somehow,” I told the others, even as I was still freaking out. I freaked out a little more as I touched my forehead, feeling the spiralled horn growing out of it.

“And on your hips,” Nanaki commented. “Her cutie mark’s appeared on your clothing there, and I suspect the skin beneath, though I understand if you don’t want me to check here and now.”

I checked myself, twisting and pulling my jeans away just enough to catch a glimpse of one point of the white star. “Okay, so… this isn’t quite the same as the materia thing. It doesn’t seem to require ‘defeating’ the pony in question, so I have to be careful about hugging anypony… especially my closest friends, it seems. I’d have Twilight help me research a cure for this but-”

“Why can’t I?” she asked. “In fact I’m rather committed to doing so, I’d say. Everything else is by necessity on hold until we figure this out.”

“That’s a good point, Twilight,” I said. “Alright. I’m going to the library. Nanaki, will you join me? I’m pretty confident you’re safe from my hugs, though we’ll hold off on them for now anyways. And I know you’re smart. Another set of eyes helping me look will be a great boon.”

“Can I help?” Spike asked.

“Only if you get back down to my size,” I said. “Spike, I love you but you really can’t let greed overcome you like that. I know, I know it’s my fault this time, but still. You’re just too big.”

“Your fault?” Spike questioned. “I mean, my wrist is just fine, and it’s not like you-”

“Sorry, I think Twilight’s thoughts must be bleeding into my own,” I said. “That’s kind of unsettling. Come on, Nanaki. Spike, if you get back down to size come along. We could use a good assistant.”

Rainbow arrived shortly after we left, with a fresh box of cupcakes. “What’d I miss?”

Having Twilight in my mind was an interesting experience. It wasn’t just her voice talking to me like I’d already experienced with the summons. That would have been one thing, but instead it was like my mind was working more like Twilight’s. The books all made sense to me in a way they hadn’t before. It wasn’t that I had been illiterate, but her mind just was made for text. It was most dramatic with books on magic, of course. I had a horn now, for one thing, and if I didn’t think about it too hard I could use it to float books over to myself quite easily.

Other magic took a harder mental state. Twilight’s mind seemed to live in my subconscious, but casting spells wasn’t something one could do subconsciously. It was an act of will. Eventually, I managed to master the art of getting the actual spell knowledge to reside somewhere in my subconscious mind where I could consciously trigger it, sort of like willing my body to walk or perform a well-practiced sword move; the consciousness directed it, but muscle memory, or in this case spell memory, filled in the details to make it happen.

We spent three days in the library, Spike, Nanaki and I, before I had the basic spell mastery that we could even try a spell if we’d found one that was promising. We still hadn’t found anything directly relevant, and were starting to think we’d need to travel to Canterlot to look in a larger library. I had, however, noted a spell in one of the books that might help with another problem of mine.

I decided to bring it up in the relative safety of the shower, that night, while the closed door and water noises kept out prying ears. As much as our subconscious bled into one another, Twilight could only hear my conscious thoughts when I spoke aloud. Or in my dreams, but those were more susceptible to eavesdropping, especially from John de Lancie.

“Twilight, I have a rather awkward problem,” I began.

“More awkward than accidentally being sucked into somebody and having to live vicariously through their senses?” she asked.

“It’s cumulative with that,” I said. “Wait, can you perceive all of my senses? Because that makes it even more awkward.”

“Smell seems very muted, and as I said I don’t have a somatic sense telling me where things should be in relation to one another, but yes. I can feel the water showering down on my pelt right now, only it feels a lot different, I guess because it’s striking your skin directly?” she said. “What, umm… oh gosh, this about you and Nanaki, isn’t it? I’m getting in the way of sexy times?”

I blushed and nodded before realizing that was pretty pointless. “It’s worse than that. Twilight, do you know what a hymen is?”

“Of course I do, ponies have them too,” Twilight began, though she sounded distinctly uncomfortable. “Why?”

“My Mako is making mine unbreakable,” I said. I paused long enough for her to process the implications. I could subtly feel the shifts in her mental state as she did. “I need you, or somepony, to magically help me with that problem. I saw a spell back there that might be able to do it, but… it’d need to be channelled… during the act. So… either now, while you’re with me like this, or after you’re out on your own, but, well, in the room.”

“Does it have to be me?” she squeaked.

“No,” I admitted. “It could be another unicorn, or alicorn, skilled enough to cast the spell. I’m not sure if Rarity can, she doesn’t seem to use her horn for much other than telekinesis. I guess Luna would be my next choice.”

“You can’t ask a princess to help deflower you!” Twilight exclaimed.

“It does seem a bit much to ask, but she is something of a personal friend,” I said. “I would think it more appropriate to ask the Princess of Love, but Princess Cadenza doesn’t seem to like me much.”

“Who? I didn’t realize there was a third princess,” Twilight said. “Anyways, I’ll… I’ll do it.”

“But you want to wait until we’re separated,” I offered.

“No,” she squeaked, almost as inaudibly as Fluttershy.

I quietly washed myself for a bit, before turning off the water and starting to towel dry. “Thanks, Twilight. I owe you one.”