“Hey,” Aeris said, quickly stopping and causing the others to bump into her in a small pile-up before everyone spaced out again. “Is that Cloud?!”

Tifa stepped up by her side, putting a hand on her chin as she studied the man from behind across the noisy and crowded floor of the Golden Saucer’s game room. “I don’t really think so. He’d have to have gotten a haircut, radically changed his wardrobe, and gotten a new sword.”

“There’s no reason he couldn’t have done those things,” Aeris rightly pointed out.

“And lose his classic chocobo-head look?!” Barret asked with a laugh. “Nah, that ain’t him. Might be worth scouting if he’s any good with that funky-looking blade though.”

“What’s so funky looking about it?” Aeris asked, curiously.

“That handle… looks like the handle of a gun,” Barret pointed out.

“What do you know about gun handles?” Cid teased.

Barret got riled up for a moment, before taking it for the joke it was and cooling off. That still left an awkward bit of silence.

“Well, I’m going to talk to him,” Aeris decided, starting forward.

“I’ll go with you,” Tifa agreed, and the pair of them strode forward. The two men eventually caught on and trailed behind them, letting them take the leave but being in easy reach to step in if anything untoward happened. Not that they expected trouble in the amusement park… but then again, they hadn’t the first time they were here either.

“You know, talking about me behind my back is kind of rude,” the stranger said, speaking loudly enough to be heard clearly even though he was looking away. Finishing his game, he got off the fake motorcycle and turned to face the group. “Though, perhaps I can forgive a couple of lovely ladies for the indiscretion,” he added with a confident smirk.

“Definitely not Cloud,” Tifa commented quietly.

“Hi! Sorry,” Aeris said, looking him over. “It’s just, a friend of ours went missing some time ago, and we thought you just might be him. You’re not, but… well, if you’re any good with that sword, maybe you could help us.”

“Sorry, I’m not a private eye,” he said. “Good luck finding your friend, but I need to find something a little more… worthy of me than a missing person’s case.”

“Well, we are kind of trying to stop a serial killer from obtaining the Ultimate Destruction Magic and using it to destroy the world…” Aeris said. “And he’s supposedly the strongest swordsman that ever lived…”

That gave the man pause, as she expected. “If that’s what you need help with, then I’m your man. Name’s Seifer Almasy,” he introduced, taking Aeris’ hand in his own and giving it a kiss. “You wouldn’t happen to be a sorceress, would you?”

“Actually…” Aeris non-answered.

Tifa rolled her eyes. “If he makes a line about you enchanting his heart…” she muttered.

“Then I’ll be your knight,” Seifer concluded.

“Great!” Aeris agreed with a happy bounce. “Oh! My name is Aeris. Aeris Gainsborough. And this is my good friend Tifa. And those are Barret and Cid. I… feel like there should be someone else, but that’s all we’ve got,” she said with a momentary frown.

“Me, of course,” Seifer said. “Lead the way… you did know where you were going, right?”

“We need to find something called a Keystone,” Tifa said. “We were told the owner, Dio, bought it recently for his museum.”

“That… explains why you’re in an amusement park when you’re supposedly trying to save the world,” Seifer admitted. “Come on, I know where his museum is.”

“Doesn’t explain why you were here,” Tifa cut back.

“So, this is it then?” Seifer asked, looking over the round stone on display. “You’re sure? I can certainly sense some kind of power from it. Mmm, feels a bit like you, Aeris,” the swordsman acknowledged before starting to reach for it.

“You weren’t thinking of just taking it, I hope,” said a man with a powerful, deep voice approaching behind him. Turning, Seifer regarded a massive, muscular, bare chest. After a moment, he was able to pry his attention away enough to notice the rest of the man: a long handlebar mustache, a thick belt with a massive gold buckle holding up a bit of red cloth that barely covered between his legs.

“We need to borrow this,” Aeris said. “It’s really important, but we can bring it back.”

“That right?” Dio boomed. His eyes settled on Tifa. “You did well in the chocobo races a while back, I remember…” Turning to Barret he added “and you… helped out down there.”

“Down there?” Seifer whispered, afraid to know the meaning. Tifa merely shushed him.

“Alright, I can let you have it on one condition,” Dio decided, looking right at Seifer.

“This ought to be good,” he said sarcastically.

“Entertain me!” Dio demanded.

“What do I look like, a court jester? You look like you’ve got that covered, actually,” Seifer commented.

Dio laughed, a bellowing sound that shook his massive body. “You look like a swordsman, and this is the Battle Arena. Show me your fighting skills. Just you, my boy. I'm expecting a good fight!”

Seifer smiled a little. “Okay then. My sorceress needs to see how good of a knight she’s gotten, anyways.”

As the blade bit into the dragon’s neck, the explosion of gunpowder from Seifer’s gunblade punctuated the moment with a spray of flame, smoke, and gore before the beast dropped dead. The crowd cheered wildly even as the swordsman turned his back on the defeated foe, flicking his blade to let the blood fly clear. He would clean it properly later, but this was enough for the cool guy act the audience was eating up.

Dio jumped into the arena, landing before the man at the exit to the area.

“Are you my next opponent,” Seifer asked, sounding almost bored.

“Ha ha ha. No. You won! Here’s the keystone, like I promised you,” Dio offered, holding out the artifact. Seifer grasped it easily in one hand. “You’re pretty strong… come back here and fight anytime. We’ve got great prizes!”

“But you don’t have anything to challenge me,” Seifer countered, before walking off.

The tram was out of order, stopping them from leaving the park, so they headed for the hotel within the building, which was oddly decorated like some kind of cheesy haunted house. The five of them settled in the lobby, around a small table.

“So, ladies. And gentlemen. I need to know what I’m getting into. Can you tell me what’s happened so far?” Seifer inquired. “I don’t really know what’s going on, since I wasn’t here from the beginning.”

“Yeah!” Cid agreed. “I’m all for it!”

“I been here since the beginnin’, an’ I still don’t know what the hell’s goin’ on either,” Barret complained. “Can you make sense of it all, Tifa? C’mon…”

“I’ll give it a shot,” Tifa promised. “We are going after Sephiroth. He’s the serial killer we mentioned… a former member of Shinra Corp’s SOLDIER division. He’s killed a lot of people, including the president of the company, and we’ve been following his trail. We know he must be in search of the Promised Land.”

“The Promised Land? What’s that supposed to be?” Seifer inquired.

“The Cetras return to the Promised Land. A land that promises boundless happiness,” Aeris offered airily.

“Cetra?” Barret questioned. “That some kinda disease?”

“That's what the Ancients call themselves. Hey, didn't you listen to the elders at Cosmo Canyon?” she chided. “...You don't 'know' where the Promised Land of the Ancients is.
You search and travel, until you feel it. Like you just know, '...this is the Promised Land.'”

“Can you feel it?” Tifa questioned.

“I think so,” Aeris said noncommittally.

“So Sephiroth is traveling the world because he's searching for the Promised Land? Is that it?” Seifer asked.

“That, and one other thing he's searching for,” Aerith pointed out. “The Black Materia…”

“While you were fighting,” Cid said to Seifer, “I heard from Dio that a man in a black cape was lookin’ for the Black Materia.”

“We keep hearing about those guys,” Tifa said. “Sephiroth wears a black cape, but we know there are others, with number tattoos.”

There was a pause, as if everyone expected someone else to say something, but there was nothing but awkward silence until Aerith filled the void. “You know… I think Hojo did something to those men in the black capes. But I don’t know what it has to do with Sephiroth though. That’s why I think we should just go after Sephiroth himself.”

“Yeah, me too!” Barret agreed enthusiastically. “It’s all just too damn confusin’.”

“What about the Black Materia?” Seifer asked.

Aeris looked away, apparently not wanting to address it. Tifa shrugged. Barret shook his head looking confused. And Cid started to snore.

“I better make sure these two make it to bed,” Tifa said, getting Barret’s help to drag Cid off.

Suddenly alone, Aeris gave Seifer a thoughtful look with a bit of a smile.

“Still not going to tell me?” Seifer asked.

“How about something else… You want to go on a date?” Aeris asked.

“We hardly know each other,” Seifer pointed out.

“That’s what dates are for,” Aeris pointed out. “Besides, you kissed my hand. I can’t be that unappealing.”

“Not at all. Alright, what did you have in mind?” he asked.

“Come on!”

When they got out into the main terminal at the center of the Golden Saucer, a staff member greeted them. “Tonight’s Enchantment Night. All the attractions are free!”

“Must be a stunt to counter the bad will from everyone being stuck here,” Seifer speculated.

“Oh, don’t be like that,” Aeris objected. “Let’s just enjoy the attractions. What should we do first?”

“There’s going to be an entertaining show in Event Square,” the staffer suggested.

“Come on, let’s go!” Aeris insisted, hurrying Seifer into the slide tube that brought them to the smaller saucer.

A stage was set up there, with some rather cheesy looking props and costumed actors. An audience had gathered, chatting among themselves while they waited for the show to begin. Suddenly, another staff member approached Aeris and Seifer. “Congratulations! You’re our 100th couple today! You will be the leads in tonight’s show!”

“I’m sorry, I don’t do amateur hour performances,” Seifer objected.

“Come on, Seifer! You’ll be my knight in shining armor!” Aeris insisted.

“Looks like they’ve already got one of those,” Seifer said, pointing out one of the actors on stage. “If you think I’m getting into a costume like that…”

“Then you’ll be my knight without shining armor,” Aeris conceded. “That’s what you said you were now, right?”

Seifer wordlessly conceded, letting her drag him up onto the stage.

“It’s not hard,” the staffer assured. “Just play it how you want, and the rest of the cast will cover up for you.”

They were taken backstage briefly and led to opposite ends of the stage, while a narrator set the scene. “Long, long ago… An evil shadow appeared over the peaceful kingdom of Galdia… Princess Rosa was just kidnapped by the Evil Dragon King, Valvados. What will become of her? Just then, the legendary hero, Alfred, appears!”

“Oh… you must be the legendary hero, Alfred!” the armored actor greeted Seifer.

Seifer looked about to rebuke him, but then glanced out to the audience. He couldn’t help it. It was his time to shine. He drew his gunblade and spun it dramatically before giving a bow. “Yes, it is I,” he said, his voice projecting like a seasoned pro. “Alfred, the sor- Princess’ true and faithful knight!”

“Oh, nice delivery,” the armored actor complemented quietly before projecting his next line. “Great sir Alfred, you must rescue Princess Rosa! But first, talk to the king!” He gestured to one of the other actors on the stage, one clad in a cheap imitation of regal finery, complete with a plastic crown.

Seifer let his annoyance show for only a moment before approaching the king, He was about to speak when the actor began his own lines. “Oh, legendary hero, Alfred. You have come to save my beloved Rosa! On the peak of a dangerous mountain dwells the Evil Dragon King, Valvados, who has kidnapped Princess Rosa. But! You can't beat the Evil Dragon King now! Talk to one who can help you.” The king gestured toward the armored actor and another, an elderly gentleman in green with a conical hat.

“You there,” Seifer said, pointing to the armored actor with his gunblade. “Squire! Come assist me. Bring my horse hither, we have a long journey to rescue the fair maiden.”

“I was supposed to be a knight,” the armored actor complained a bit, before stepping off stage long enough to gather two hollowed out coconut halves to bang together to make a clopping noise.

The final actor stepped in from the wings of the stage as Seifer approached, roaring out in a decidedly unimpressive fashion as the head of his dragon costume wobbled high above his true body. “Grar! I am Valvados, the Evil Dragon King! I have not harmed the princess. I have been expecting you!”

“Please, help me, Legendary Hero!” Aeris pleaded, doing her best to project for the audience, before whispering to the dragon. “Psst… like that?”

“Hah!” Seifer shouted as he lept forward, knocking the draconic actor aside with the side of his blade, and wrapping Aeris in his free arm. He leaned forward, pushing her back a bit over his arm as he kissed her, with all the passion of a horny teenager stealing his first kiss while intimately aware of the need to look cool in front of the audience watching them.

‘Finally!’ Aeris thought as she blushed heavily, kissing him back, eyes closed. ‘After all these years, Zach… no, Cloud? Wait, who was this again? Alfred? Finally I got a damn kiss.’ Despite the confusion in her more intellectual parts of her mind, her heart was aflutter as her instincts ignored all the relevant facts and simply enjoyed the amorous attention for all it was worth.

“Argh! Curses! The power of Love! My one true weakness!” the Evil Dragon King proclaimed, falling over and playing dead. However, it was a good bet the cheering of the crowd was for the couple still making out.

“Ahem,” the king coughed, thrice before the couple finally broke it off and paid attention to their surroundings again. “Oh! Look! Love has triumphed! Now, let’s all go back and celebrate.”

“Oh, how profound the power of love... And so the legendary hero Alfred and our story live on happily ever after,” the narrator concluded, before everyone on stage lined up and took their bows.

The next attraction Aeris led Seifer to was a gondola ride, carrying the two of them on a scenic wire route around the exterior of the building. Lit up as brightly as it was in the darkness of the night, it was quite a sight to behold, but both were too busy beholding one another.

“Alright, what’s the deal?” Seifer asked. For once he didn’t sound annoyed, despite the words.

“What do you mean?” Aeris asked a bit nervously.

“You’re a great kisser, so I certainly don’t mind, but normally women don’t ask men they just met out on dates,” Seifer pointed out. “So why? What’s your story? Something to do with your missing swordsman?”

Aeris sighed, looking out at the scenery just to avoid eye contact for a bit. “A little bit of that. My first boyfriend, Zach… left on a mission and never came back, before we could even find the time for a proper date. A few years later, Cloud came into my life and… aside from hair color, he was so much like him. Same mannerisms, same gait. They even both fell through the roof of my church, right into the bed of flowers I grow there.”

“And what, they look like me?” Seifer asked.

Aeris shook her head. “You look a little like Cloud from behind, if he got a haircut, changed his wardrobe and so forth. Of course, they both had these huge, practically identical swords. Way bigger than your sword, and they didn’t, you know, explode on a hair trigger.”

“I really don’t think I like you talking about my sword like that,” Seifer said.

Aeris blushed and giggled, covering her mouth. When she had recovered, she went on. “You’re a different person from either of them. And it took some thought to really notice the differences between them as well. But, well… Zach is gone. I really don’t think I’ll see him again in this life. And Cloud? I really don’t know. But even though he promised me, we never did go on even one date. So… I just didn’t want to miss the opportunity again. It’s kind of sad, isn’t it? You’re my third boyfriend, but my first real date… and first kiss.”

“Well, I’d be happy to help you catch that number up,” Seifer said before leaning across the gondola. As the fireworks began, they hardly noticed the sky lighting up around them.

Yet, before the gondola could land in its dock, Aeris pushed him back just far enough to speak freely. “This may not be our first kiss anymore, but it’s still our first date. You’re going to have to keep your ‘sword’ in its ‘sheath’.”