"Hey, why don't we make a promise?" Tifa asked. "Umm, if you get really famous and I'm ever in a bind... You come save me, all right?"

"What?" I asked, a bit surprised. We were sitting side by side on the old water tower, overlooking our hometown. Just a little girl and a little boy, talking about the future.

"Whenever I'm in trouble, my hero will come and rescue me," she said confidently. "I want to at least experience that once."

"What?" I asked again. Was this just romance novel bullshit, or...

"Come on--! Promise me--!" she insisted.

Finally, I caved. She was my best friend, after all. "All right.... I promise."

The scene shifted subtly. We were older. Adults now. And I was a woman. Not just any woman, the Element of Magic. The tiara sat on my head, my new sword at my back. "So then... why haven't you rescued me yet? You promised," she said accusingly.

"But, I can't! How am I supposed to even get there? I'm in a whole other world," I objected.

"Magic! You're the Element of Magic, right? Surely you can find a way," she countered. "Besides, have you even really tried?"

"You really haven't, have you?" Diamond Dust asked, making me realize I was in a dream. "You were even building a damn house. Some hero you are,~" she taunted.

I looked down at her, where she floated near the ground in the town square. "What are you doing here? I thought you were with Pinkie."

"Oh, she is!" Pinkie said, as she carried a table set with a punch bowl and several trays of confections out into the town square and set it down. "But she's always in your dreams no matter who has the materia."

"Even if I accept that logic," I began. "How are you here?"

"Rule of Funny," she answered with a shrug before going back for more tables.

I gave up trying to understand the Element of Laughter and focused instead on the windigo. "So you've switched tacks," I commented.

She paused a moment to realize what I meant before slipping up to the water tower and wrapping around me. "Don't get me wrong, I think it's sweet you'd rather stay with your marefriend than uphold your old promise, and a lucky opportunity for me. Especially once your breakup with Crash becomes permanent."

I stiffened, not wanting to touch her in a way that could be misconstrued as friendly, but not quite at the point of wanting to physically shove her away. "You've been pushing pretty hard for that, haven't you? What makes you think I'll go for you if we do break up? Or was that ever the point? I feel like you're just pretending to be into me to help break us up."

At least she unwound from me, extending out to the side opposite Tifa. The dream version of my childhood friend was getting miffed at me, but she was just a figment of my imagination, so I ignored her and that literally caused her to go away.

"That mare's no good for you, master Strife, and if you were honest with yourself you'd admit it," Diamond said. "But I'm not the jealous type, and I'm hoping your next marefriend doesn't mind if you partake in... what's the word... 'wet dreams'.~"

That reminded me of the conversation earlier, and I looked down at where Pinkie was winding up to throw the rope for a piñata over the watertower's pipe. "Hey, Pinkie. I thought you were joking about the private party with the three of us," I called down.

"Oh, don't worry, that's not what this is," Pinkie assured me.

"Really?" Diamond asked, a bit surprised herself, but she shrugged it off and turned back to me. "What is this place, anyways?"

"This is Nibelheim, the town I grew up in," I said.

"Really?" she asked, surprised again. "It looks so... normal. After some of your other dreams, I thought your world was all super crazy. This almost looks like Ponyville, but with everything stretched higher for some reason."

"Well, humans are generally taller than ponies," I said.

"Rawr!" a thirty-foot tall slavering pink beast said, suddenly towering over us as it made to chomp down at me with an immense, tooth filled maw. In my surprise, I cowered a moment as my heart rate raced. I reached for my sword, only to find it had been replaced with a floppy live swordfish, wobbling uselessly as I failed to brandish it.

"Fear not!" Nightmare Moon said as she emerged into the dream, horn glowing with energy. But the pink monster suddenly popped like a balloon, raining confetti down on us all. Party hats fell down onto each of our heads amidst the debris.

"Surprise!" Pinkie shouted from below where she was standing next to an air pump.

"What is the meaning of this?!" Nightmare Moon demanded.

"Yeah... Pinkie? Explain," I insisted.

"Well, I had to make it a nightmare so Luna would come to your rescue, so she could come to her own surprise birthday party!" Pinkie explained.

"Birthday party? What... how did you know it was my birthday?" the stunned alicorn questioned.

"Oh, well, Cloud made a new materia that can detect birthdays," Pinkie stated.

"Is this true, Cloud?" the princess asked.

"Well, yes, but," I began.

"Thank you, Pinkie Pie," Nightmare Moon said as she descended to survey the decorations. "Come, let us eat, drink and be merry."

"It's just a dream," I stated as I hopped down from the water tower.

"Which means we can eat all the sweets we like without worrying about our figure," the alicorn pointed out, just before enjoying a few hors d'oeuvres. "Speaking of which, where are the cake and candy?"

"She makes a good point," Diamond concurred. "Just hurry before the parasprites come for it."

"Oh, don't worry, I've got them preoccupied with the mariachi band out by the reactor," Pinkie reassured us. "Now, would the birthday girl like first crack at the piñata? The cake will be out in a little bit."

"Piñata?" the princess asked. After a quick explanation she grinned as she took hold of a rather dangerous looking baseball bat. The business end was sheathed in metal with dozens of unevenly spaced nails sticking out that seemed unnecessary for the task. "Violence and candy? We think we shall like this party game," she said as Pinkie slipped the blindfold over her eyes.

"See, I told you she's still evil," I whispered to Pinkie. "And where'd you get that bat?"

"Some ancient temple," Pinkie answered with a shrug. "And Luna's not evil anymore, you and her just have a lot in common."

Diamond Dust whirled around Nightmare Moon several times, spinning her around until she was nice and dizzy. The alicorn stumbled around a bit, laughing as she swung her bat experimentally. We all kept our distance, not wanting to get caught in a wayward swing. Her first two went completely wide before the third connected with a sharp crack, a half dozen pieces of candy falling to the cobblestones only to be immediately scooped up in the princess' magic.

"Sweet!" Pinkie Pie said. "Who goes next?" Diamond raised her hoof eagerly, but the question was clearly directed at the princess.

"We believe Lady Cloud should be next to participate. Will you do the honors?" she asked, offering me the bat.

"No, I'll pass," I declined. "Why don't you let Diamond Dust have a swing at it.

Nightmare looked mildly annoyed, but passed the bat off to the eager windigo.

"What do you mean we have a lot in common?" I asked Pinkie.

"Well, you both have trademarkably distinctive hair, you're both shippably good looking, and you both have violent protector tendencies," Pinkie listed. "Now that I think of it, maybe you'd make a cute couple. Better add it to my grid." With that she took out an improbably large chart with pairs of pony heads and a few non-pony heads facing off. A few had been circled, including myself and Rainbow Dash, though that paring now had a question mark by it. She took a copy of my face off a roll of stickers and a similar image of Nightmare Moon's and placed them facing one another on an empty cell in the grid before nodding to herself and putting the chart away.

Before she put it away, I noticed she had also had me paired off with most of the other Elements, Diamond Dust, Princess Celestia, the blacksmith, Doctor Horse, Twilight Sparkle, Aeris, Tifa, Barret, some other woman I didn't recognize, and several other ponies I didn't know. It was an awfully large chart, and perhaps it was self-centered to only look at my own parings. At least I was helped by having such a recognizable face. She had a point about the hair.

"Do you really have a sticker chart of all the potential romantic parings you can think of?" I asked, interrupted by the crack of bat on cardboard and the tinkling of little candies on the ground.

"Of course not, silly billy! This is a dream," Pinkie Pie said. Before I could be too relieved though, she clarified. "The real one is hoof-drawn."

"Your turn, Lady Pie," the princess commanded, as Diamond offered up the bat. The piñata was in bad shape but still contained a good amount of treats.

"Alright!" Pinkie said enthusiastically, winding up to swing even before she was spun around.

I turned back to Diamond Dust as she returned with her hooves full of candy, munching on the imaginary treats. "You pointed out earlier that I hadn't really tried to get back to my world. Do you have any idea how I would even begin to pursue such an option?"

Diamond shrugged. "I'm not really the one to ask. The Princess could help you more there," she said. "Or maybe sparkle-butt."

I glanced over at Nightmare Moon as she eagerly awaited Pinkie's success with the bat. The first swing struck one of the water tower's legs, bending and cracking it, making the whole thing shift ominously. I tensed to rush to get them away from there, but then remembered it was all just a dream, and decided to let the pink pony deal with the consequences of her carelessness herself. If anything did come of it, a bit of dream water wasn't going to do any real harm.

"You're right, I should talk to Celestia about it, or at least write her a letter. She seems to like those," I agreed. The darker alicorn gave me another annoyed look, but broke off when Pinkie demolished the piñata with a solid hit, scattering impossibly large piles of candy throughout the square. Cheers rose from all the ponies present, Diamond's voice added a bit belatedly.

"I'll be right back!" Pinkie promised before stuffing her mouth with treats, eating them with the wrappers still on as she slipped out of view.

"It's up to you. If you do manage to leave and go home, you're leaving your new friends and everyone else who has come to depend on you in the lurch, just like you did to your human friends," Diamond said, a bit of taunting evident in her voice.

I frowned at her, annoyed, then frowned at Pinkie Pie as she wheeled a massive cake covered in a ridiculous number of candles out, and used dream logic to pull a flamethrower out of her mane and light them all at once. There must have been thousands of candles, which made sense when I remembered the reinstated princess had spent a millennium in solitary confinement. For her own part, the princess seemed a bit embarrassed, doubly so when she was unable to blow them all out in one go, and the proximity of the tightly packed candles allowed the flames to spread back onto the ones that she had managed to blow out.

Nightmare drew in an exaggeratedly massive breath, blowing with enough force to send her flying backwards, yet still not enough to put out the flames, apparently. At least not directly. She struck the water tower hard, buckling the damaged leg, and dumping a thousand gallons of water onto the cake, washing away all of the candles and much of the icing, leaving a sad, soggy mess in its wake, that barely served to break dream-Tifa's fall. The figment stormed off, leaving the scene so she could be forgotten properly, while all three ponies got a good laugh in at her expense.

I let out something between a grunt and a growl as I got up and stormed after her. It was as much to get away from the ponies and their antics as it was to follow Tifa, which was good because I quickly lost sight of her and she didn't reappear as I went. She had been heading toward the mountain, so I climbed it, stopping only when I reached the reactor. I pushed past the swarm of hopping parasprites, going inside and sitting on a catwalk, legs dangling down over the massive drop into the green glowing exposed section of the lifestream. I was alone, just me and my thoughts, which was what I wanted at the moment. The strange, festive music from the colorfully dressed quartet outside was dim here, just enough to keep the silence from being oppressive.

I had a good few minutes of solitude to rest before hoofsteps threatened to intrude. I didn't let them, not when it was just hoofsteps. Even when the pony plopped down next to me, I ignored her, not even taking the time to notice which of them it was. I had a few more minutes of quiet to reflect before she spoke.

"She should have asked you, or invited you, rather than just impose," Nightmare Moon said. "Though I still don't think that justifies the rudeness."

"Rudeness?" I questioned enthusiastically, keeping my eyes locked to the swirling, flowing green light below. Even in my dreams, it was majestic.

"Ignoring me at my own birthday party, refusing to participate in the party games, not using my name, even dragging others into other conversations and out of the joy of the celebration, and then storming off like this," she listed off. "In short, you've been a terrible venue."

At that I finally looked at her. She looked like she was trying very hard to scowl but couldn't help the slightest of silly grins. It finally broke through to me and I couldn't help but grin myself at the comment, snorting in my effort to hold back a laugh.

"She should have made a reservation," I said. "I didn't know it was your birthday." After a moment I added "Luna."

"I don't know how she knew, even if she had your materia," Luna said. "It's been over a thousand years since anypony has thrown me a birthday party, and if anyone were to look up such an obscure historical fact I would have expected it to be the librarian."

"That I can't even guess at," I admitted. "Pinkie Pie is always full of surprises."

Luna shrugged. "However she found out, I'm glad. It was a fun diversion." She looked at me and teasingly added "despite the venue."

"This part is nice though, isn't it?" I asked, staring into the swirling motion below.

"It's a pit full of the dead, and a part of your memories of the most scarring moments of your life," Luna pointed out. "Where you're hiding from your friends, surrounded by music just loud enough to encourage you to strain your ears."

I frowned at her, at a loss for words.

"You need to learn to at least dream about having a good time," she said.

I raised an eyebrow, looking at her questioningly until she blushed.

"I didn't mean like that!"

"Good. I've had enough of ponies trying to get themselves into my wet dreams," I said.

Her wings shifted subtly at that, I wasn't sure what to make of the gesture. "I should go," she said. "There are other ponies whose dreams require my assistance, and you'll be fine here alone. But we should talk more. I wouldn't mind a letter myself."

"Alright, Luna. We'll talk again. I promise."

The music eventually stopped playing, and sometime later Diamond Dust joined me, coiling herself around my midsection as she settled down to look down into the lifestream with me. My thoughts had become as tumultuous as the writhing souls below, and I was actually grateful for the distraction.

"Pinkie's cleared out. And the parasprites are eating up the mess. Not that it matters," Diamond Dust explained.

It didn't. It was just a dream, I was pretty sure it'd be back the way it was next time I dreamed of this place regardless. "How has Twilight been treating you?" I asked instead.

"She goes on and on, questioning me about stuff I can barely remember from before that dragon stuffed me in his snow-globe, and then interrupting half the time to talk over me about whatever some dusty old book has to say about the subject," Diamond groused. "It's annoying, but it's not that bad actually. I just wish she were more mean-spirited about it. I know I don't have to eat anymore, but that doesn't mean I can't taste."

"How does that even work, anyways?" I asked. "Eating strife... does that drain the strife out of the person you're feeding on, or what?"

"No, that'd be dumb," she replied. "We use their emotions as a pathway to drain their magic, use that as sustenance. Though... I guess that should be past tense, hmm? No more windigos." I was a bit surprised their wasn't any obvious sadness in her voice or expression at that.

"You're the last? What happened to your kind?" I asked.

"I'll tell you at the party," she said.