Author's Notes:

Here is something I've been working on since before Spikewall Dragon came out.
I did a full edit on my own, but I'll try to get another editor to take a look at the story and release a final, double-edited draft in the near future.
Enjoy. Bonus Points if you can name the author whose work formed almost the entire basis for Rarity's nightmare.
Twilight is best Adam Jensen.

Twi,

I guess by the time you get this note I’ll be off. I figured you’d freak out or never forgive me if I didn’t leave something for you, so, here it is.

I have been so blessed to live in Ponyville. The girls have been so good to me since we moved in, and the Princesses have been nothing but supportive of the both of us. You, Twilight, have always been there for me above and beyond any other pony, and I want you to know how important you are to me.

But, I need to leave. I know that you don’t like it when I begin sentences with conjunctions, but please read what I write here, because it’s important. I’m not needed here. In fact, I never really was needed here.

You’re the Princess of Friendship, and the girls are the entire reason that Equestria is still around. Whether it’s fixing friendship problems or fighting villains or whatever else, Equestria still needs all of you, all the time.

Everypony has a purpose, except for me. Rainbow Dash is a Wonderbolt now, Pinkie Pie and Rarity keep successful businesses afloat, Fluttershy is always off saving the planet, and Applejack is making sure her family is provided for. It’s not just you Elements of Harmony that have purposes, either- Zecora heals countless ponies with her herbal expertise, Big Macintosh is the reason that Applejack has been able to keep Sweet Apple Acres running, Cheerilee is teaching the next generation of ponies, and even your brother was in charge of security for the entire capital before becoming a Prince himself. And what do I do? I transcribe letters for you, rearrange your bookshelves, eat gems, and nap. As cushy as it seems, that’s not the kind of life I want to live.

Besides, what good is having friends if you can’t provide anything for them? I’m no shoulder to cry on. I can’t provide wise advice. I can’t help buck apples or take care of animals, and I could never make the mare I’m in love with happy. Even when I try to help out I just mess everything up. Friendship is supposed to be a two-way street, and you girls just give and give to me and I can’t give a thing in return. That’s not friendship, it’s babysitting.

Now, I can already hear the mental chorus of ‘Spike, what are you talking about- you saved us as Humdrum when we were in Metropolis!’ forming in your mind, Twilight, and yes, it’s true. It’s also true we were stuck in a fake, magical world and that it was my incompetence that got us stuck there in the first place. All that happened there was that I miraculously managed to babysit myself.

I can’t stop you from wildly searching Equestria for me Twilight, but I want you to know I’ll be safe. I’ll try to go and find work and settle down someplace else. Maybe then I can finally finish growing up. I’ll be staying within the borders of Equestria, for now, at least, and if anything goes wrong, there are plenty of safe places to go- I can go stay with Princess Ember in the dragon lands, for example. I’m sure that the citizens of the Crystal Empire wouldn’t mind a visit from their beloved folk hero, either.

I know I’ll never convince you otherwise, but I have to make the assertion anyway: this isn’t a game I’m playing. It’s not some adolescent temper tantrum, it’s not another quest to get in touch with my dragon identity, and I’m not ‘running away’. I’m moving, I’m leaving. It’s not a split-second decision, it’s something I’ve been chewing over for months. The only reason I’m leaving without telling you (and at night) is that I know that you wouldn’t ever let me leave, otherwise. You probably would keep teleporting me back to my room every time I ran out the door until I finally tired myself out, or something.

Make sure to tell Starlight Glimmer that I’ll miss her, too. She’s a fantastic mare, and just because she hasn’t been around as long as the others and tried to rip the hinges off of the fabric of space-time doesn’t mean that she is any less of a good pony and a great influence on me.

Maybe one day in the not-too-distant future I’ll find a purpose, be my own dragon for once, and come back to Ponyville. Until then please try not to worry about me.

I’ll try to make it to your parent’s house for Hearths’ Warming this year, if all goes well for me. That’s not a promise, but it’s something to hope for.

I’ll miss you Twilight. Give everyone a hug for me.

Lots of love from your little dragon,

Spike.

It had been a little over a month since Spike had left Ponyville in the dead of night, opting to stick to roads instead of trains to make it harder for Twilight to trace his steps. He had burped up several letters in that time, but opted to burn them all without reading them; chances are Twilight had just gotten Princess Celestia to place some sort of magical tracking spell on them.

He had passed through Fillydelphia about a week into his journey and thought about staying in the dragon enclave there, but decided that staying with his own kind wouldn’t help him accomplish what he set out to do. Eventually, he had opted to stay on the outskirts of Salt Lick City. The city wasn’t so big that one could get lost in it, and it was also clean, safe, and had a cool climate; all things Spike liked. Plus, there was plenty of work to be found.

Spike stared at the ceiling of the utility closet that he had rented out as his extended-stay residence, laying in a resale basket lined with some old blankets he had brought from the castle. Spike had kept himself afloat the last few weeks doing various odd jobs; it impressed him how useful claws and fire-breath could be, in the right situation. More permanently, though, he had a few options for work. One option was to be an executive assistant to the dean of the local university. She was a little jumpy when she learned that Spike was Twilight’s close friend and had recently left home, but was intrigued enough to offer him a position when he explained he had been transcribing correspondence and filing documents since he was literally three years old. Another option was to work for city sanitation, filing various positions as needed. It wasn’t glamorous, but it was good, honest work that Spike felt would build character. The last was a ‘job’ as part of a traveling circus. Spike wasn’t too thrilled about being an attraction, and didn’t want to leave his new home to take a job for mediocre pay. Still, he’d be travelling all across Equestria, and would certainly meet a cast of interesting characters.

Spike smiled and closed his eyes. For the first time in a long while, he was optimistic. He would choose his own path, find some meaning for his life, and make some new friends that he could help just as often as they helped him.

Almost immediately after Spike drifted off, a stern voice startled him. “Spike.”

Spike shot up from his basket. “Ah!” Looking around first to the right, then to the left, he found himself in an endless space of white. Looking back to his right again, he found the somewhat imposing figure of Princess Luna standing only a foot from him. This time, instead of screaming, he sucked in a gasp.

“Spike, I’ve come to convince you to come home to Ponyville.” Luna spoke calmly, as she normally did, but with decidedly less authority than Spike was used to hearing from her.

“Oh, great… No, Princess Luna, I’m not going back, although I’m sure you’re just going to teleport us there or cuff my arms together or something, anyway.”

“I will do no such thing, Spike,” Luna said, with a clear touch of hurt present in her voice. “I wouldn’t to a close friend such as yourself. You must make the decision on your own. No good will come of anything if you are simply forced back. Remember, I understand what it is like to feel worthless and underappreciated…and I know how destructive those feelings can be.”

“Why do you even care?” huffed Spike indignantly. “I’m finally out here figuring out what meaning I can give my life. Twilight can find somepony else to stamp and copy her decrees.”

“Spike, please, your words hurt me.” Luna’s eyes were soft and shimmery as she looked down at Spike, who continued to look away. “I care about where you are because I care about you… ”

Spike noticed Luna’s voice trail away. He looked back at her. Now it was she who looked away. “Because you care about me…and…?”

Luna sighed. “And because it is my duty to assist the ponies of Equestria in ending their nightmares.”

“Mission accomplished. No nightmares here.”

“I know, Spike. It’s not your nightmares that I am here to rectify.” Luna stood up straighter, her voice finally beginning to deliver the royal authority Spike was used to hearing from her.

The whiteness faded from around Spike, and a series of doors blew by him on both sides, at a rate of thousands per second. Spike was stunned by the display. Luna merely stood with her eyes closed, letting the artificial breeze created by the unfathomable movement displace her mane slightly.

As suddenly as it began, the doors stopped in place. To Spike’s left was a light blue door emblazoned with a certain pegasus’ cutie mark, under which lay a nameplate into which was carved ‘R. Dash’.

Luna began speaking again. “It is not your job to end their suffering, but I beg you to assist me. I will show you each of your friends’ nightmares. If, at the end of it all, you still do not wish to go back to Ponyville, I will leave, and I will not tell either Celestia or Twilight that I have found you.”

One of Spike’s eyebrows rose. “Do you Pinkie Promise?”

Luna sighed, a tired sigh that came more from the body than from the mind. “Cross the moon, hope to cry, stick a meteor in my eye.”

“Those aren’t the words at all!”

“Well, then, it’s a Princess Luna Promise. Please, just go in.”

Spike clambered out of his basket and tentatively opened the door into Rainbow Dash’s dream. A sudden flash of light blinded him, before he found himself on the path running by the fields on the outskirts of Ponyville. Rainbow Dash flew quickly by, right over his head. Spike froze, fearing he had been seen.

“Don’t worry, Spike,” Princess Luna said, appearing beside him. “They cannot see or hear us unless I allow it.”

Rainbow Dash did several more quick loops before skidding to a stop on the ground, looking very proud of herself. “Awesome workout! Now to get some shuteye!”

Rainbow Dash looked up, surveying the sky. “Aw, man. There aren’t any clouds anywhere out here. Where am I supposed to nap?” Suddenly, Rainbow Dash’s ears flopped to the side of her head as she lowered her entire body toward the ground. “Spike liked naps…Maybe I’ll just go sleep at home.” Rainbow Dash headed off in the direction of her cloud house, her hooves never leaving the ground as far as Spike could still see her walking away.

Spike looked up at Luna. “That’s it? She’s slightly bummed out that I’m gone?”

Luna looked panicked. “No, Spike! Rainbow Dash is a very heavy sleeper, this is probably all the dream she could muster up right now. Last night, she was involved in a highly complicated plot of betrayal where she ended up betraying all of her friends as a consequence of your absence! It was a serious identity crisis for her!”

Spike looked unflinchingly into Luna’s eyes, clearly exasperated. “Uh-huh.”

Luna growled, her ire directed more toward herself than toward Spike. “Okay, perhaps we should simply move on.” Her horn began to glow from the top downward.

“Lemme guess- next you’re going to show me Pinkie Pie’s ‘nightmare’, where she just sits at the register at Sugarcube corner all day with her mane deflated because she’s too upset to bake or throw parties?”

Luna’s horn stopped glowing as she thought for a moment. “Perhaps we shall skip Pinkie’s dream. I am not ever sure what to expect from Miss Pie.” Her horn began to shine again, and three seconds later they were both standing in front of a dark pink and purple door without a nameplate.

“Twilight?” Spike inquired.

“Not quite,” Luna replied.

Spike grabbed the iridescent, teal doorknob and slowly opened it.

This time, there was no flash. Spike and Luna stood on the Cutie Map in Ponyville Castle’s throne room. Spike looked around, only to see that all of his friends were seated in their respective thrones, although they seemed to be contemplating and preparing for something, instead of talking.

Spike was confused. Whose dream was this, if not Twilight’s? Was it one of theirs? Had Rarity been inspired during her sleep and given her dream door a fresh color scheme?

Luna shook her head. “This again... I can hardly bear to watch.”

Hoofsteps sounded from down the hall, slowly approaching. A purple and teal mane popped around the corner first, a pair of matching eyes quickly scanning to make sure the figure had indeed arrived at its final destination. Satisfied, Starlight Glimmer rounded the corner into the throne room, looking cheery. “Hey, guys! You wanted to see me? Oh! Is the map giving you a new friendship problem to fix?”

Twilight Sparkle looked at Starlight and motioned for her to come closer. “Not quite, Starlight. We had something more serious to talk about.”

Starlight Trotted forward, concerned. “I hope nothing is wrong in Equestria.”

“Darlin’, uh, we’ve been doing some thinking. It don’t quite seem that you’re really fittin’ in here.” Applejack drawled matter-of-factly.
Spike was stunned. He supposed that even in ponies’ dreams, Applejack maintained her trademark blunt honesty.

Starlight’s ears fell back. “Oh…I’m sorry, I know that Ponyville really hasn’t warmed up to me all of the way yet, but I’m sure that with time-“

Twilight Sparkle shifted uncomfortably. “I’m sorry Starlight, but there’s a lot going on right now and I think that it would be best if we reevaluated where we stand.”

“R-Reevaluate?”

Rainbow Dash shot up from her chair. “For the love of- She means leave! Go! You can’t stay here anymore! Scram!”

“Rainbow Dash!” Fluttershy scolded. “That’s no way to treat a guest! Starlight, we’re very sorry about all this, but…”

Starlight sniffled. “B-but you all told me to give friendship another chance…That you wouldn’t leave me…”

“Darling, please,” Rarity began. “It’s nothing personal, you know. It’s just, well, things have changed recently.”

Starlight began shedding tears silently.

“Sorry, Starlight,” Twilight said with a tone that sounded anything but sorry.

Spike noticed that not only was he absent from Twilight’s side, but not even his small crystal throne was present.

Twilight continued. “You won’t be punished for your past, but we can’t have a treasonous felon around, anymore. It just isn’t working. We probably shouldn’t communicate anymore in any offici-“

“Enough!” Princess Luna commanded with an authoritative but clearly wavering voice.
Suddenly, Spike and Luna were back between the never-ending lines of doors.

Spike looked up at Princess Luna, confused and a somewhat startled.

Luna slowly wiped her eyes with the side of her hoof and sniffled. “I’m sorry, Spike, but we had to leave then. I couldn’t bear to watch Starlight finish her nightmare again, and I certainly won’t make you go through it, if not even I can handle it.”

If Luna couldn’t bear to watch whatever Starlight Glimmer did next, then certainly it was dreadful. “But Twilight and the girls would never do anything like that!” Spike’s voice shifted, his exclamatory tone becoming a crescendo of righteous anger directed at the Princess. “It’s your job to rescue Ponies from their Nightmares, why don’t you go in there and do something, if it’s so terrible!”

Spike expected Luna to reply in anger and authority, but she had composed herself from her breakdown and responded calmly. “Spike, I help ponies face their irrational fears and confront their weaknesses. I can do nothing if they fear something real that strikes right at the heart of who they are.”

Spike blew smoke out of his nostrils. He was fuming in anger. “But that would NEVER happen!”

“What you say is true, precisely what happened in that dream will never happen. Normally, such a situation would never happen at all. However, your friends have been changed by your absence, Spike. I fear that a misspoken word or a failure to hold a commitment will do more damage than is reparable. And that does not go for Starlight alone, but for all your friends.”

Spike’s anger began to fade. Was it true that his absence had really put everypony on edge, so much so that their friendships were in danger? He uncrossed his arms as he thought about this possibility.

“Since she has known you only a few short months, Starlight is perhaps the friend of yours least hurt by your absence, even though she is saddened by your decision as well. Still, Spike, she has noticed the change in the others caused by your absence, and does not know how to react to it. The default response, then, is fear: fear she will be betrayed, fear she will be abandoned by her new friends. After all, if you left the friends that had been by your side for years and years, what incentive do they have to be friends to her, a criminal, a screw-up, and the newest member of the group?”

Spike was silent for a moment before scoffing indignantly. “I’m not worried. Twilight takes her new role as teacher too seriously to just throw it away, and all the others have accepted Starlight Glimmer just as if she’d always been their friend.”

“Perhaps,” Luna said. “But for now, her nightmares continue, and I do not know how a dream that ends so,” Luna scrunched her face as if she was in pain, “…horrifically… can do anything but eventually destroy a pony inside.” Luna stomped her right front hoof once, and the endless rows of doors began flying past them again.

After a few seconds, Spike spoke up. “So…do you do this often? Take ponies into other ponies’ dreams, I mean? Because if you do, I’m not really comfortable with the idea of somepony watching the dark recesses of my mind come to the forefront.”

“Oh, this doesn’t happen too often,” Luna said. “A few times with the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and,” Luna’s features darkened, “a particularly frustrating trip with Discord.”

“Ah,” Spike said, seemingly placated by the answer but silently wishing for the conversation to continue so that he could distract himself from the whizzing of the doors behind him. The noise and unnatural pace of movement unnerved him greatly.

Instead of immediately halting again, this time the movement of the doors seemed to slow until a set of tall, opaque orange saloon doors sat across from Spike. Small, ornamental wooden apples, the same color as the wood, were attached to the tops of either door, near the center.

Luna motioned Spike onward. Pushing through the doors, Spike found himself on the porch of the Sweet Apple Acres farmhouse, as if he had just left from inside and simply walked onto the wooden deck. Twenty feet in front of them stood Applejack, who appeared to be surveying her orchard.

“Whoooo boy, the crop don’t look too good ‘t all this year,” Applejack said. “We’d better get a crackin’ on buckin’ as soon as we can.” She whipped her head toward the farmhouse, her ponytail spinning around and smacking her side, coming to rest pointing toward the orchard. “Big Mac! Applebloom! We need to get workin’ STAT!”

The two ponies begrudgingly came out of the house, both rubbing their eyes.

“What’s all the yelling about?” Applebloom demanded, clearly frustrated with her sister.

“Ah’ll tell you what it’s about, we’ve got a bad harvest this year and need to get on it ASAP so we don’t lose no more apples! Now get to it!” Spike admired the confidence with which Applejack commanded her siblings.

“Eenope,” came a deep reply from the porch.

“And what in the hay is that supposed to mean, mister!?” Applejack cried. “We all need to get out in the field right now!”

“Eenope,” Big Mac repeated. “Don’t much feel like it.” With that he turned and walked back into the farmhouse, ignoring Applejack’s sputtering protests.

“Sorry sis, I’d be happy to help, but it’s Monday. I’ve got school all week, and tests every day!” With that, Applebloom threw on a pair of saddlebags and dashed away.

Not missing a beat, Applejack frantically ran toward the farmhouse. Spike dove out of the way at the last moment, while Applejack simply phased through the stationary form of Princess Luna.

“Granny Smith!” she called. “We need to hire ponies to help with the harvest, now!”

“Eeehh, wha-aaaa, ehhhh…” mumbled Granny Smith, asleep. Applejack ran over and shook her, yelling in her ear, but ultimately was unable to bring her back to full consciousness.

Applejack let out a cry of frustration and began to pace around in front of the family’s fireplace as she frantically tried to fix her problem. “Somepony to help. Somepony to help…Rainbow Dash an’ Rarity are worthless for farm work. Fluttershy, bless her heart, ain’t strong enough to lift a toothpick off a piglet. Pinkie Pie is… no, never…Twahlight’s at a conference…Spike is…” Applejack shook her head frantically. “No! This can’t be! Uh, uh…CARAMEL!” Applejack let out a little cry of victory. “Ah’ll find Caramel and Lucky and tell them how desperate I am, an’ pay the money up front. Then ah’ll get the rest of the Apples up to help as soon as I can.” She burst out of the farmhouse and down the road.

Spike gaped in awe. He had never seen Applejack run so fast. She had almost disappeared under the ridge of the hill that the barn and farmhouse were built on, when suddenly she collapsed in a heap on the ground. Anxious to see what was wrong, Spike ran over to where she had fallen.

By the time he got there Applejack was already attempting to stand back up, but collapsed again, her right back hoof swollen like a balloon on the first joint. “No!” Applejack cried, tears beginning to well up in her eyes as she tried to remove her swollen leg from the pothole, “It ain’t fair! No!” Applejack looked over at her orchard, where suddenly the apples began to stretch as if accelerating to light speed. The splotches of red then melted off the trees, falling onto the ground. “What!?”

Just as the last of the apples had melted off the trees, all at once ten thousand tiny fires began, one for each plot of the ground where an apple had melted. The fires licked up, wilting the leaves in the orchard and spreading toward the barn and farmhouse along paths of dried grass.

“No! Granny! No!” The flames licked up to the front of the farmhouse, and suddenly everything went white.

Spike found himself standing in a white box, just like he was when Princess Luna had first arrived. “Luna!? What happened?”

“We were ejected from her dream,” Luna explained. “Either she figured out we were there and forced us out with sheer willpower, which is unlikely; or, the nightmare was so terrible to her that she simply woke up.”

Spike nodded. “So she just woke up because it was a terrible dream. I get it.”

“Spike,” Luna said, placing a hoof on his shoulder, “Applejack has always admired you for your work ethic and willingness to help others. Losing that has been a shock to her, and as a consequence she cannot trust others to fulfill their duties.”

“Yeah, right. We both know that Applejack knows Big Mac will always be there to keep Sweet Apple Acres running. She’d never doubt that.”

“Perhaps not. Then again, you saw what she dreamt, Spike. The heart is the source of most truth, and often it can only communicate itself through dreams. You were more of an inspiration to her, and more of a help around the farm, than you will admit, and as a consequence, Applejack has been shaken to her core.”

Spike growled, removing Luna’s hoof from his shoulder. “I…A-Applejack clearly has some deep-seated family problems to confront. That’s all I saw in that dream. She barely even acknowledged me.””

“I see,” Luna said, stomping her hoof as the doors began to whizz by once again. She looked deeply and intensely into Spike’s eyes. Her features stood as well defined and unmoving as a gem set into the side of a mountain as she leaned in close to him. “Then let us see how hard your resolve, and your heart, have become.”

Far fewer doors had to move past this time, and a light pine-colored door halted in front of Spike. Carved into it were the shapes of a variety of woodland creatures; dormice, songbirds, rabbits, and the like. Holding his head up in indignation, Spike strode through the doorway without waiting for Princess Luna’s signal.

Spike found himself in Fluttershy’s cottage. It appeared just as normal, but a few knickknacks were floating or otherwise out of place, and a strange, wavy haze, almost like a mirage, hung over the cottage.

“Distorted reality is common in dreams, particularly nightmares,” Luna analyzed from behind Spike, “but what we see here, I can only assume is the consequence of the amount of time this sweet Pegasus has spent with that coot of a draconequus.”

Spike nodded, disinterested. In front of him, Fluttershy seemed to be locked into a disagreement with an angry Angel Bunny.

“Angel,” Fluttershy said quietly, but with a hint of motherly admonishment, “I’ll make you dinner in a few minutes. I need to finish dusting for when the chipmunks come in for the allergy clinic I’m holding tomorrow.”

Angel waved his arms and made vague, unintelligible rabbit squawks.

“Angel,” Fluttershy began again, a little louder and more agitated, “please, let momma finish her work. It won’t be long, I promise.”

Spike rolled his eyes. “I’ve always despised that bunny.”

Luna raised an eyebrow. “You take issue with a bunny rabbit?”

“Yeah, I do. He’s just like this in real life, only worse.”

Angel more violently protested and began tapping and pulling on Fluttershy’s hoof in an attempt to lead her to the kitchen.

“Angel, enough!” Fluttershy scolded, stomping her hoof lightly and coming right down on Angel’s tail. Yelping, he pulled away and ran toward the couch, holding his aching appendage.

“Oh, dear!” Fluttershy fretted, placing both hooves over her mouth. “I’m so, so sorry Angel! It was an accident! I’ve been just so on edge since…Come here and I’ll fix up your tail and start working on your dinner.” Fluttershy walked over toward Angel, who looked up at her in fear and darted a few feet away. “Angel?” Fluttershy inquired, timidly. Again, she tried to approach him, only for him to run away, squeaking in fear. “Angel, please!” Fluttershy cried, chasing him around her small cottage and dodging the homes of the critters who lived inside.

“This is a strange dream, most unlike the others which I have seen Fluttershy have,” Luna said.

“This is a normal day in her cottage,” Spike deadpanned.

They watched the chase continue for another minute or so. Finally, Fluttershy broke. “STOP, RIGHT NOW!” She yelled, attempting to stare down Angel.

Not only was her stare ineffective, but other critters in the house stopped to look at Fluttershy. Realizing what she had just done, Fluttershy blushed and began to explain herself. “Oh, um…I…”

Immediately, all of the animals, Angel included, ran directly out of her door and scattered into the night.

“No! My friends, please come back!” Fluttershy yelled out of the door, but it was to no avail. Even the sick animals who couldn’t run had sequestered themselves as far away from Fluttershy as they could within the confines of the cottage, quivering in their tiny homes.

Still peering out the door into the black night, Fluttershy’s lip began to quiver and her eyes began to fill with tears. For just a moment, Spike thought that Fluttershy was going to be able to compose herself. He scolded himself for not knowing better as Fluttershy collapsed on the floor, sobbing. “I’m a monster!” she cried. “Why can’t I be kind!? I’ve driven everypony away!”

Luna turned herself and somehow opened another door back into the dreamscape. “This is a dream of hers I have not seen before, but somehow I get the feeling that there is not more to see here.” Luna stepped through the doorway she had created. “Come, Spike.”
Spike cast one last empathetic gaze at the figure of Fluttershy, collapsed and sobbing on the threshold of her home, before following the Princess.

“Now, Fluttershy is a different case from the others, Spike,” explained Luna. “Your departure has caused her to doubt herself.”

Spike rolled his eyes. “I didn’t like seeing that, but it doesn’t surprise me she’d be having these nightmares. She’s struggled to control her assertive side before, you know.”

Luna seemed to ignore him, her tone becoming more pointed than it was before. “She has admired your kindness Spike. It is always you that is there to hold her when she is scared in public, no? She sees you take care of Rarity when she is distraught, and was impressed with your kindness in raising Pee Wee the Phoenix. And she certainly would not leave her treasured Angel Bunny with just anypony when she left for the Crystal Empire?”

“How do you know all of this?”

Luna snickered. “Sister shares stories from Twilight with us. Many are highly amusing.” Seeing Spike’s bemused expression, Luna coughed and continued, “It is a shame you did not see her previous dreams, which were much clearer. Fluttershy has perhaps taken your departure the most personally- she truly feels in her heart of hearts that you left, at least in part, because she was not kind enough toward you. You were her partner in dealing out kindness; she would never leave because of how you treat her, and thus your departure is nothing but a potent reminder of her failure.” Luna looked toward the door longingly. “Her kindness fades without you, at least within her nightmares. The dreams show the disposition of the heart; and in that dream lies a heart that is convinced, above all else, of its own wickedness.”

“…How dare you?” Spike’s voice was hardly any louder than usual, but it bit into Luna’s spine with an icy chill. “I would never hurt Fluttershy, and you know that. I want out of this miserable charade, now!” Perhaps to vent his anger and control the tone of his voice, Spike stomped once, and the doors immediately accelerated once again.

“Not yet,” Luna replied, steely. “Ahead lie the final two doors. These, Spike, I know are the two ponies closest to your heart.”

The boiling blood in Spike’s veins began to cool as the realization of what Luna had said washed over him. He looked down the endless hallway and swallowed; he did not like seeing the others’ nightmares, and he was not prepared to see the final two.

“If the plight of anypony can shatter your stubborn resolve and make you commit to what is right, it is these two.” Luna placed a hoof on her muzzle, as if concentrating. “I spent the last several minutes mulling over which would be best to place first. I suppose I must make a decision now.”

The doors slowed again, and Spike looked behind him to see an ancient, metal door. It was iridescent purple with dark purple trim, and seemed to glow with magical energy the same color as Twilight’s magic aura.

“Go on,” Spike heard Luna usher from behind.

Taking a deep breath in, Spike opened the door. He found himself standing at the rear end of Ponyville Castle’s foyer. Facing the cathedral-height window, Spike had to cover his eyes and reposition himself slightly to prevent the late afternoon sunlight that was streaming through the overbearing stained-glass visage of Twilight from blinding him.

A tall creature with a long, flowing mane was staring out an adjacent, clear window at the meadows surrounding Ponyville. Spike assumed that this was Princess Celestia; what reason would Twilight have to dream of Princess Luna?

A large pair of doors opened to the left of the window, and Twilight Sparkle trotted out purposefully. Celestia turned to face her, stopping Twilight dead in her tracks. “Princess Celestia? I wasn’t expecting you.”

Celestia stood regally, her form showing complete indifference to her environment. “Twilight, we need to have a conversation.”

“Uhh,” Twilight began, clearly stressed and pressured to continue on with whatever task she had been busied with, “now’s not really a good time. I know that you wouldn’t come to see me if something really important wasn’t happening, but-“

“Twilight,” Celestia interrupted, forcefully, “You cannot go searching for Spike.”

“What?” Twilight’s mouth hung open in shock. “How-“

Again, Celestia interjected, her voice demanding to be heard. “Being a Princess means that you must do your duty, Twilight! Spike is gone, and you have all of Equestria to protect!” Celestia took two very forceful steps forward. “Do you understand what is at stake? Millions of ponies’ lives are contingent on your performance! Spike is not worth it!”

Twilight stepped backward, clutching at her chest with a hoof. “P-Princess…” She stumbled backward in silence as Celestia slowly advanced toward her.

Spike turned to Luna. He should have been irate, but he felt mostly confusion. “That isn’t like Celestia at all! She would never act like this!”

Luna nodded, a deliberate and forlorn motion. Her voice came out quietly, timidly. “No, she wouldn’t. Twilight’s mind has created a twisted form of Celestia, an erratic and illogical creation. Her mind does such things often, in her dreams as well as in reality.” Luna turned her gaze toward Twilight, who was quickly running out of space as she approached the corner of the foyer. “It is not uncommon to have recurring dreams, as you have seen tonight. But Twilight has had this same exact dream every single night since you have left.” Luna turned again to face Spike, her eyes shining with a sweet melancholy. “Such is the curse of being brilliant: your own mind can become an enemy which you cannot defeat.”

Celestia drew near to the trapped Twilight and began speaking again, her voice still forceful but now less demanding. “I understand that you miss Spike, Twilight, but I simply cannot let you go and search for him. You must help us rule Equestria and protect the magic of friendship by following the map’s instructions.”

“Princess, how can I call myself the Princess of Friendship if I just abandon my oldest and dearest friend? Spike is everything to me…”
Spike brought his claws close to his body in a contemplative motion. He knew he was Twilight’s oldest friend, for sure…but he was her dearest friend, as well?

Celestia brought herself up to her full height. She spat out her words, every syllable dripping with spite. “I thought that I had taught you the value of sacrifice when I sent you to protect the Crystal Empire from King Sombra. I see now that I was wrong.”

Twilight’s ears remained flat as she looked up to make eye contact with Celestia. Tears began to fall from Twilight’s muzzle and hit the ground as she spoke. “Princess, I’m sorry…I-I can’t. I have to find Spike…” Her voice wavered and broke on each syllable she spoke.

“Very well,” Celestia spat back at the shaken purple alicorn, “If you do not perceive the importance of your duty, then I did wrong to make you a Princess.”

Twilight’s body seemed to break here as she slumped downward in her corner. Taking a deep, ragged breath, she stood back up and looked at Celestia. Twilight’s eyes narrowed and a scowl covered her entire muzzle. Tears continued to flow from her eyes, but they did not impede her voice as she spoke, “I guess you did.” Twilight stepped toward Celestia, who remained stationary. “Do you think I care about any of this!?” cried Twilight, gesticulating wildly toward her castle. “I never asked for this! I didn’t want wings, I didn’t want more responsibility! I was perfectly happy being your student and working as a librarian. The only thing that made any of this worth it is my friends, Spike being first and foremost. I would sacrifice so much for Equestria, but I will never, EVER sacrifice Spike for anything. Do you understand, you TYRANT!? NEVER! I don’t want to be a Princess anymore! I want Spike back! I can’t live without him!”

Twilight stood inches from Celestia, her chest heaving as she wiped tears from her eyes and tried to catch her breath. Celestia regarded her coldly. “The only cornerstone of a Princess’ rule is duty, Twilight. Nightmare Moon terrorized Equestria only after my sister refused to lower the moon, as her duty required.”

Vaguely, almost imperceptibly, Spike could see Luna’s ears flatten in his vision’s periphery.

“If you will not do what you must, then something must be done with you,” Celestia concluded.

Twilights eyes suddenly grew with fear as Celestia’s horn began to glow with a golden radiance. A cloud of purple, accompanied by a loud zapping sound, signified Twilight’s departure from the scene.

Immediately swinging her head toward the main doors of the Castle, Celestia launched into the air, darting through the gap separating Luna and Spike at breakneck speed. Blowing open the main doors with her magic, Celestia pursued the distant figure of Twilight as she galloped at full speed toward the town.

Spike watched them go in awe, his attention only being torn away as the walls of the castle began to warp and distort around him into an unwieldy mishmash of colors.

“Twilight is now so far from this area in her dream that her mind no longer maintains it,” explained Luna.

Spike looked at her, concern plaguing his features. “What happens to Twilight? Does Celestia banish her? Or throw her in the dungeon? Or banish her and throw her into the dungeon in the place that she’s banished to!?”

Luna shook her head. “It does not matter what happens to Twilight, what matters is only what you saw. The others all dreamt of living in your absence, Spike. Twilight cannot even comprehend a future without you. Let us continue on,” she said, using her magic to open a door-sized hole in the dream. “I do not wish to be here if this portion of the dream collapses further.” She waved Spike through the brightly shining hole with a hoof. “After you.”

Spike stepped through the hole and found himself once again in the endless white space. Turning his head around, he realized that Princess Luna was not with him. “Princess Luna?” he called timidly, whipping his head around in a frantic search. “Princess Luna!”

He was met with only silence. Fearing becoming stuck in the dreamscape, Spike continued to spin his head around in search of Luna. Doing one last one-hundred-and-eighty degree spin, he laid eyes upon a white door, which was almost indistinguishable from its surroundings aside from a slight difference in tone and a doorknob made from a glittering, marquise-cut diamond.

Certain that the door had not been there when he had glanced in that direction only seconds before, Spike looked around once more. Luna was not there to elaborate, or signal him to go in. Slowly, tentatively, he placed a claw on the doorknob and turned it.

As it was with Rainbow Dash, a bright flash blinded Spike for a few moments. Opening his eyes again, he found himself in almost complete darkness. Perhaps fifteen feet in front of him, a single lamp hanging from the ceiling provided the only light that he could see. His heart caught as he recognized the figure of Rarity hunched over her work desk, furiously scribbling something under the lamp. To her left, a window was present, but only a curtain of pitch black was visible outside. Where the walls were supposed to be, the light from the hanging lamp faded slowly into blackness.

Spike examined his surroundings. The lilac floor, Rarity’s sewing machine on her work desk, the pattern on the window…Was it possible this was supposed to be the Carousel Boutique? Why was it dark, then, and so much larger than the real thing?

An unladylike grunt of irritation came from Rarity as she crumpled her paper up in a ball of blue magic, dropping it in the small trash bin beside her desk. Again, she began furiously marking another sheet of paper.

Spike squinted and tried to position himself to get a better look. “What are you doing, Rarity?” he asked himself, quietly.

He jumped when the voice of Princess Luna spoke from the darkness of the scene. “She is working. Those ponies who were born to create generally dream quite lucidly. They can control what others cannot, and use it for their own purposes.”
Spike collected himself. “Working?”

“You do not know this, but Rarity has talked to her friends about selling her other stores and converting Carousel Boutique into a simple clothes shop instead of a high-end, designer boutique. She tells them that it is because she grows tired of the politics in the fashion scene, but in truth, it is because she can no longer create, though she continues her work even as she sleeps.”

“No longer create?” asked Spike. “You mean make dresses?”

Spike was answered with silence.

“Luna?” he called. Again, there was no reply.

Rarity stood up suddenly from her chair, knocking it back to the floor as she cried out in frustration. Instead of neatly crumpling the paper and placing it in the trash bin, she swept the contents of the entire table off the same side the bin was present on. Needles, pens, paper pads, and various cutting implements clattered to the floor, leaving only the sewing machine present. “It is no use,” Rarity wailed. “I cannot design a single dress!” She collapsed, letting her head rest face-down on her table as her front hooves covered her already disheveled mane.

There was a chorus of scraping sounds. Through the darkness, Spike saw half a dozen ponyquins, each wearing a different dress, emerge from the surrounding blackness and approach Rarity, coming to rest just inside the diffuse spot of light.

Rarity slowly brought her head up, looking around to see the ponyquins facing her. She stood up and moved just below the hanging lamp, at the center of the circle of light. “I just cannot create without him,” she whimpered. Looking toward where Spike was standing, she approached a ponyquin wearing the dress she had designed for the first Grand Galloping Gala that they had all been invited to. She observed it, her face showing both longing and distaste. She ran a hoof over the fabric.

The dress began to undulate, as if caught by a breeze or carried by magic. It spoke, “You make yourself so dull with false imagining, that you see not what you would see if you had shaken it off.”

Something about how the dress spoke made Spike uncomfortable inside. A few long moments after the dress had finished speaking, Spike finally came to the realization: it had spoken with his voice.

“Darling,” Rarity answered the dress, “I-I had barely known you for a month. This work was so uninspired because you had just begun to change me.”

Another dress, one Spike recalled Rarity had been quite proud of, spoke from the opposite end of the ring. “Beauty awakens the soul to act.”

Spike shivered; it was just as if he himself was speaking, although he couldn’t imagine himself using such diction.

Rarity spun to face the dress which had spoken. “How true. Awakened! Awakened!” she cried madly, as if it was the greatest word she had ever heard. “You awakened me! I put your innocence into every spring line; your fire into every fall’s! All my success is due to you!”

Another dress spoke, “And we came forth to contemplate the stars.”

Rarity nodded her head with passion. “We did, together. You were there with me! There was no height we could not have reached together! You were always with me… You looked at me with adoration, and why? Why? I know why, but I still do not grasp it.” Rarity placed her forehooves around the ponyquin’s head, as if to shake an answer out of it. “You adored me, one who,” Rarity seemed to snap into her normal self for just a moment, fluffing her curls with a hoof, “while perhaps stunning… deserved nothing of the sort! Your beauty inspired mine, your adoration pressed me ever onwards!”

“There is no greater sorrow than to recall in misery the time when we were happy.”

Rarity’s head snapped around, her eyes narrowing at the dress across the circle from her. “Are you mocking me? I was content, yes, but never happy. You were content, but you were never happy. At any time you or I could have made the other happy, no? And we didn’t. Why didn’t we?”

“Love insists that the loved loves back,” another dress answered. A chill went up Spike’s spine as he heard, in his own voice, the words that he was always afraid to say.

Rarity stopped. “Was that it? I loved you back…you were my muse, I loved you…Didn’t I? Don’t I?”

The last ponyquin spoke. “For I am Spike who send you on; I come from where I most long to return; Love prompted me, that Love which makes me speak.”

Rarity answered. “You’re still talking to me now…because you love me? Why, then, can’t I create anymore? Everything that I’ve created was a reflection of your love toward me!” Rarity’s face fell, and she scraped a hoof along the floor for a few moments before looking back up at the final dress. “Spikey-Wikey…Did you…Did you ever make anything that reflected…my love for you?”

There was no answer. All at once, more cacophonous scraping was heard. The ponyquins accelerated, disappearing into the darkness, and being replaced by three more, each draped in a different gown. They came further into the light, forming a tight triangle around Rarity and her toppled desk chair.

“What will happen to me, Spike?” asked Rarity to the dresses. “I can’t design without you here…I just can’t. I can barely keep my composure at the spa.”

“Do not be afraid; your fate cannot be taken from you: it is a gift,” Spike heard his voice emanate from the dress Rarity wore to Shining Armor and Princess Cadance’s wedding.

“And yet, it is gone!” Rarity huffed. “I am nothing now without you. You are my muse…Spike, you never created anything because of me, did you? Did you leave because…you never knew that I loved you? I hid it so well that it disappeared from my own view?” Rarity stopped her pacing, for a moment. “But, you kept cherishing me. Why?”

“You are a luminous being, Rarity. The queen of virtue. Who else would I cherish?”

“…Why did you leave, Spikey-Wikey? I can’t create without you…and I hurt. Why did you go?”

The third dress, near the corner of Rarity’s work desk, rocked forward slightly. “Await no further word or sign from me; I crown and miter you over yourself.”

“No!” Rarity cried desperately, holding out a hoof to the dress. “I can’t do it by myself, Spike! Come back!”

The scraping began again and the three dresses disappeared into the blackness. Rarity sat down on her haunches under the lamp. She pleaded, “Out of your grace, do us this grace; unveil your lips to me, so that I may discern the second beauty that you have kept concealed!” For a few seconds, Rarity waited for a response. “Please, Spikey-Wikey,” she pleaded, “I know that you’re gone now, but…why did you do any of this for me in the first place?”

A long, slow scrape was heard as a single, small ponyquin came into view and drew close to where Rarity was seated. Spike overcame the overwhelming pressure in his chest and maneuvered so that he could see what dress was on the figure.

Spike had never seen such shoddy work from Rarity. It was tattered, with uneven stitching and mismatched colors. He could not, for the life of him, figure out what dress this was. It was only upon the realization that the ponyquin was built for a filly’s sizing that he recognized what it was; one of the costumes Rarity had sewn for the school play, before she had even gotten her Cutie Mark.

Spike saw the fabric of the dress wave again. His voice emanated from it once more, but it felt slightly younger, like how he sounded when he had first come to Ponyville with Twilight. “In that book which is my memory, on the first page of the chapter that is the day when I first met you, appear the words, ‘Here begins a new life’.”

As the ponyquin scraped away into the darkness, Rarity laid face-down on the floor, covering her eyes with her hooves. She did not cry as she normally did, in a flashy manner as so to vent her frustration and sadness. The only hint that she was crying at all was the occasional sound of a whimper, no louder than a needle hitting the ground.

Something about seeing the mare he loved like this broke Spike, who rushed over to Rarity’s side. “Rarity!” He tried to place a hand on her neck but it merely phased through. “Rarity! It’s me! I’m here!”

“Well…” Spike heard from behind him. “That was certainly more…dramatic than I had expected.” Luna placed a hoof on Spike’s shoulder. “Spike, she cannot hear or see you.”

“Then make us visible! I have to talk to her!” Spike growled, ripping Luna’s hoof off of his shoulder.

Luna sighed. “I’m sorry, Spike, but I don’t think that is the best thing to do. It may simply make her reaction worse, as if her own mind were taunting her.”

“What she said…it can’t be real…Love?”

Luna softly grinned down at Spike. “Rarity has a very, very special place in her heart for you, Spike, although it is certainly not in my place to describe it. I’ll tell you a secret about mares: we don’t bother giving anypony a pet-name unless we care for them quite deeply. In Rarity’s case, it appears she cares for you far more than even she knows.” Luna opened another glowing doorway with her magic. “Come now, Spike.”
Spike trudged through the doorway, following Luna, but stopped once to peer back at Rarity’s prone figure before walking through. The lightbulb above her shattered with an audible pop, leaving Rarity alone in the darkness.

Spike sat down in the blue corridor of doors, placing his claws on his head. “Luna,” he began, “I…I understand why you did all this, now. Seeing my friends like that was one of the most painful experiences of my life.” He looked up at Luna. “But…I can’t come home. I need to do this, for myself. If my friends need support I’ll just…send them letters, or…something.”

“Spike,” Luna began, sternly. “I know you well enough to know that your mouth is not saying what your heart feels.”

“Luna, I can’t…I just can’t.” Spike’s eyes pled even harder than his words.

Luna sighed deeply. “I don’t want to do this Spike, but I am left with no choice. Sometimes a dream is the only place where the heart can communicate with the mind.” She tapped her front left hoof delicately on the ground.

Spike heard the chirping of birds and the chattering of ponies and he looked around the town square of Ponyville. Wasn’t he just speaking with somepony? It felt like he had left some important business unfinished. Spike knocked his head with a claw to clear the thick haze in his mind.

Suddenly, a single clear thought arose: Spike was not supposed to be here! If Twilight or the others were to find him, they might lock him up to keep him here! His journey to find meaning would be over! Spike furiously looked around the square, looking for a place to hide. His eyes glanced over Sugarcube Corner on their way to somewhere else, but slowly he returned his gaze to the building. It had only two floors, compared with the three it usually had.

“Odd…” Spike said to himself, before again continuing to formulate an escape plan. He settled on the Everfree Forest. It was dangerous, but secluded. He ran out of the town square, dodging a few sets of ponies that he was acquaintances with; he winced, knowing that they would tell Twilight that they had seen him in town.

He rounded the corner next to the beginning of the path leading to Fluttershy’s cottage and the Everfree forest. It was risky to take a path so close to Fluttershy, but it was also the quickest way into the forest. His eyes peered for the path, but couldn’t find it.

Spike halted his run. “What?” he breathed out, confused and already exhausted.

It was of no consequence, of course. A second path to the forest diverged off of the road to Sweet Apple Acres; Spike ran to the Northeast corner of Ponyville, only to find that road also absent. Peering off into the distance, he saw only rolling hills of grass, instead of the hundreds of apple trees and the iconic red barn he expected to see.

A great deal of fear struck Spike. He turned quickly to face the southern end of town, and was horrified to see only blue sky instead of a refractive, crystalline castle tower. Looking up above him, he couldn’t see the gargantuan cloud home of Rainbow Dash, nor its rainbow waterfall.

Everything froze inside Spike, an adrenaline rush inside of him growing. His heart felt as if it was going to burst.

His eyes widened. “No.”

Already out of breath, Spike sprinted back to the center of town as fast as his little legs could carry him. Crossing the bridge over the creek, he found only a dirt patch where Rarity’s boutique once stood.

“No,” Spike whispered, shaking. “What is happening!?”

At that moment, the wind whispered, “Friends…gone…”

Lightning struck the tree next to Spike, throwing him forcefully to the ground. The thunderclap left every neuron in his brain screaming in pain as he lifted himself up and faced the center of town again.

Not a single building remained standing, the occasional burnt support beam and pile of rubble the only indication that Spike stood on the remains of a settlement. The sky was orange, the clouds replaced with plumes of black smoke. He could see flames rising even from the Everfree forest, and heard explosions from the silhouette of Canterlot in the distance.

“No!” Spike cried, his claws on his head. He started to cry. “What…what do I do?” He collapsed to his knees, sobbing.

“This could be your life, if it weren’t for your friends.” Spike felt a hoof on his shoulder. “You do not know what to do…you should ask yourself if your friends feel the same way right now without you.”

Spike opened his eyes, the memories coming back all at once. “Princess Luna…” He stood up to face her, wiping the tears from his eyes as more thunder rang out from above.

“Spike, I’m sorry for having left you, but going through your own nightmare was the only way to make you fully understand.”

“My nightmare? You didn’t create this?” asked Spike. Rain began to pour from the sky, covering Spike and putting out the fires in the Everfree forest.

Luna pulled back, shocked. “I would never do such a thing! It is my goal for everypony to sleep at peace.”

Spike looked into Luna’s eyes, which showed only sincerity. The rain had made her mane stick to her body, and Luna shook her head gently to keep the rainwater out of her eyes. Spike was sure that she could have kept herself dry in his dream by using her magic, but that she had chosen not to.

Luna gave Spike a sad smile. “Like I said, dreams are the way for your heart to communicate with the rest of who you are. This dream was your heart’s message to you. The truth you knew in your heart, you now know in your head.”

Spike nodded, letting the torrential rain wash over him. “I need to go back to Ponyville. It may not be what I want or what is best for me, but I need to sacrifice for my friends. Just because I can’t find my purpose or do anything but drag the others down, doesn’t mean that my departure isn’t unfair to them.”

Luna looked surprised. “That is a very mature viewpoint Spike.” She smiled. “However, I don’t think that it is true at all. If you would like, I shall come back to you at night once you arrive home, and show you what beautiful purpose you have, and how your friends truly need you.”

Spike shrugged. “If you think you can, sure. Thank you for showing me my mistake, Luna.”

Luna smiled and pulled Spike into a hug. “You did all of the work, dear Spike. I merely guided you on the journey.”

The rain reduced itself to an occasional drizzle, the first beams of sunshine streaming into the remains of Ponyville.

“Please tell the others that I’ll be home in a few days,” said Spike, “and that you, Luna, convinced me of my mistake.”

“Are you certain of this?” Luna asked.

“Yes. I don’t want it to be a surprise…And I want my friends to know I didn’t come to these conclusions on my own.”

“Very well, I shall make any concession to see you home in good time.”

Spike smiled at Luna. “Thanks.”

Luna smiled back and gave Spike a wink. “I shall see you soon, Spike.”

Slowly, Spike’s eyes opened, revealing the interior of the closet he was living in. He stretched for a moment, taking a deep breath. Slowly, Spike made his way onto his feet and began collecting his things for the trip home.