I used to think that everything could be defined like the flip of a coin: it was one side or the other.

Either or.

This or that.

Right or left.

I had thought that since foalhood, where there was nopony to correct me and as the eldest I believed I had no reason to listen to her in the silly and foalish mimic debates we would have. She was never offended then and we respected each other for our differences, while still teasing one another like crazy.

It never stopped.

We grew older and the way I thought became set in stone and I hate to say that I did nothing to change this, even when everything around us did.

Nothing I saw or did was defined in shades. Neither were the the thoughts, words, or actions of others.

King or commoner.

Clear or clouded.

Cold or hot.

Is this really how others think?

I would tell myself I was right and pat myself on the back for this. Now I am sickened by such actions which did nothing to divide myself from the world.

I kept trying to justify these things and play the champion as if I were trying to play Good Filly for the whole world to see.

Light and shadow.

I never even tried to think otherwise and that shadow grew over the one I loved while I hogged the ever-growing light in this terrible game.

I, the strategist of the two of us was so blind and let others get hurt for my actions.

It wasn't considered too poisonous from the start. In fact it was almost like the fairy tails I would tell her.

There was The Hero, a shining beacon of morality and goodness who could do no wrong and had to save everypony else from the other weight on the scale: The Dragon.

Well, a metaphorical dragon of course. This was the cackling, puppy-kicking monster who had never been anything but that he toyed with and hurt the other characters of the tale who were nothing but pitiful and weak saps who were absolutely perfect and good innocents as well, but in comparison were nothing but objects for The Hero to rescue and protect.

I told her these stories and believed them. Even worse, I tried to make her live them in later years... when I paid attention to her.

I was shallow in how I forgot her. I should have been cheering every time she raised the moon or spoke at court even though I am now entirely sure I was the reason she did otherwise. She never much cared for the other ponies, who were just as cruel.

But they weren't her sister, and now she hangs, sealed away in the sky. I bet she's taunting me right now.

It will haunt me no matter what that fortune teller said:

"On the longest day of the thousandth year, the stars will aid in her escape..."

I don't want to remember the rest... I can't decide which would make me feel me even guiltier: have her sealed forever, or have her return but not as herself.

There is nopony to wield the Elements now, and I doubt there will be again.

I can see why she was Honesty now: I embraced lies both in my own mind and my own heart while she saw nothing but the truth and spoke it often... when she bothered to speak at all.

Loyalty because she was true to herself and what she believed in even it meant being ostracized and silent. She could have left me, Celestia the Sun Princess who of the two of us was the one afraid of being alone, at anytime but instead she was loyal to a fault. She would have been better off leaving me.

She was laughter because when my sister would laugh... or do I mean laughed?

Well, when she did it was for all the right reasons. She made others laugh and could probably connect to them in ways I never could. There was had been something so witty and cheeky about her. Even though my sister was hardly the most optimistic pony to live, if she ever considered herself an optimist at all, she managed to have and know what real happiness was... and it wasn't what I had.

That is why she was Laughter.

She was a flower, my sister, even though she may have been a wilting in the shadows she was still a flower.

I have to live with the knowledge that I was the most guilty in brining about her downfall.

It hurts more than I know how to put into words.

I feel like a coward.

If by some miracle she returns and all of that malice can be peeled away bit by bit, I swear on everything I know, however inadequate it is now that I have lost what is most precious to me, to be a better sister even if I never deserved to be one in the first place.

She is the bravery to my cowardice and I'll always admire her for that.

Yet life goes on.

It still hurts.

I never should have been Kindness for I was never kind to the one pony who needed it most, I was selfish not Generous, and Magic is merely a reminder of what I... of what I h-had to do.

I so desperately and selfishly want a Real Hero, not for my own sake but for the sake of my quirky, smart, and thoughtful sister. But what can bridge together the gap between Day and Night?

Day and Night... are they doomed to be yet another pair of absolutes?

Is that all this world will be filled with? Tyrants and martyrs? Sombras and Lunas?

She can't hear me whether I speak, shout, or even sing.

I'll be surprised if she even forgives me... that is if she returns... and if she's herself...

Impossible and possible. Two other absolutes I'm not fond of, which is this tragedy doomed to be?

It hasn't stopped.

By every one of your lovely stars, which are as neglected as you were...

Luna, I'm sorry.