"Uh-huh." Starlight nodded, an annoyed expression on her face. "Yes, I understand that might be a problem. But I—"

"'Ave any more biscuits, love?" Stormwing—also known as Octavia's dad—sat at the exceedingly small table across from her. "Can't kidnap a bloke withou' givin' 'im a decent meal, am I righ'?" He let out a nasal laugh.

Calm. I must stay calm. Starlight tried to focus on her call. Just teleport him, Trixie said. I'll be there in a minute, Trixie said! It didn't help that the mare on the other side didn't grasp the idea of the friendship hotline. Instead of asking for help on a serious matter, she had spent the last hour going on and on about every small annoyance she could think of, starting with the time she had an argument with her best friend in high school... seven years ago.

"So... Excuse me... Sorry for interrupting, but are you still in touch with your friends?" Starlight managed to sneak in a word while darting an angry glance at the pegasus. Teleporting him half Equestria away from the pub had done little to change his behaviour. If anything, it had made him more insufferable.

"Yes! Uh-huh! Definitely!" The caller said enthusiastically. "Every week. In fact, Firehoof and Sparkle are waiting for me at the bar. We always go clubbing together, ever since junior high." Across the table, the middle aged pegasus tapped his empty cup with a hoof, as if it were a bell.

I'll patiently wait for Trixie to come back, then I'll transform her and Stormwing into frogs, which I'll put in a bottle and teleport to the bottom of the ocean! Starlight resisted the urge to cast a transfiguration spell. An hour ago—when she had teleported to the pub Octavia’s father was partying—she could hardly believe her luck. To find one pony among millions was a mathematical improbably. Now, she felt the universe had cheated her. If there was an Element of Annoyance he was it.

To make matters worse, Starlight’s troubles hadn't ended there. Upon teleporting with the pegasus to Ponyville, she had come to find Trixie’s wagon completely deserted… except for a note on the table, half covered by a voice crystal. The words "Spike could only take one" had made it clear that Starlight would have to continue taking calls while keeping an eye on the pegasus—who for all intents and purposes she might have as well kidnapped.

"Tea's gone too, love," Stormwing said, as if the irritating tapping on the cup wasn't indication enough.

"Well, I think you should discuss the past with your friends," Starlight said, summoning a teapot in front of her "guest." "Like a trip down memory lane. You never know how it might change your destiny."

"No touch o' rum?" the pegasus asked, making Starlight grind her teeth.

Fine! Whatever! She summoned a bottle next to the teapot. What do I care if he gets drunk and destroys the wagon? It’s Trixie's fault for leaving me here with that... that… There was no adequate way of describing the stallion. The literary phrase "roguish charm" came to mind, if the pony inventing the definition had been half drunk and with questionable values.

From the short time she had spent with him, Starlight saw Stormwing as the type who would enter somepony's life, mess it thoroughly, then smile and ask for a tissue with the promise he'd clean everything up. He seemed charming, in an overly annoyingly way, yet based on Octavia's reaction things were serious. And, of course, I have to deal with a clubpony, who's idea of problems is the colour of her hoofpolish, Starlight thought as the caller went on to describe another scene of her life. Stars, why is brainwashing illegal?

"Yes, that's exactly it." Starlight slapped the pegasus on the hoof as he attempted to slip more rum in his tea than was appropriate. "Take five minutes to concentrate on the music, then look at a stallion and say the first thing that comes to mind."

"OMG! That's, like, so deep!" the caller shouted, making both Starlight and Stromwing's ears perk up. "I never thought of that! Thanks, Starlight! Best advice ever!"

The voice crystal went dark, letting Starlight sigh in relief. Twilight would hardly be impressed, but at least her ears could get a well deserved break.

"Long day, love?" Stormwing asked, pouring a second cup of tea, which he then pushed towards her.

"You have no idea," Starlight groaned.

"Righ'," he took another gulp of his drink. "So, what's Tav done?"

"Nothing." Starlight took a sip of the tea. She despised tea in general, but right now she was in no state to be picky. "She's fine."

"So ya fancy me, then?" The question made Starlight almost spit her tea out. "Mos' girls just buy me a drin'. Ya ‘gic mares go way ou'."

"What?!" Starlight glared right at him. You think too highly of yourself! As if I'd be—

"'Tis 'em win's, righ'?" Starlight stretched his wings, filling out what little space there was in the wagon. "Be'er 'an taters in mash."

"Hold it!" Starlight shouted. Her horn lit up, sending a thread of aura into the stallion's mouth. Precisely at that moment the door of the tiny wagon swung open.

"Rejoice, all, for I, the Great and P—" Trixie jumped in making her usual entrance. The sight of Starlight casting an invasive spell on Octavia's father must have had a profound effect, for she cut her speech short, slammed the door shut, them used her magic to pull the curtains.

"Trixie?" Starlight blinked, seeing the distressed state of her friend. "Why are—" Hay! The spell! The magic flickered off. "This isn't what it seems!" She waved her hooves defensively. "Everything is perfectly fine. And there's a very good explanation for this."

"How much of his brain is left?" Trixie whispered, hoof on her chest.

"What? No! Trixie!" Starlight made an attempt to stand up, but between the table and the pegasus' wings that proved impossible. "I just wanted—"

"I say, that was a bit of a zap, what." Stormwing said, far less disturbed than he should have been, and took another gulp from his "tea".

"What have you done, Starlight?" Trixie narrowed her eyes.

"Me? Just what you told me!" Starlight moved back defensively.

"He doesn't even sound like himself!"

"Twixie? Is that you?" the pegasus asked. "My word, it is! Little Twixie Wuwamoon," he laughed. A read streak appeared on the magician's face. "Well that explains everything. When little missy here told me something was wrong with Tav, I feared the worst. It all makes sense now." He shook his head in the fashion a parent does upon realizing their child hasn't been kidnapped, but merely hiding after setting the living room on fire.

"Twixie Wuwamoon?" Starlight asked, trying to keep a straight face. Even in the present circumstances it was a nearly impossible task.

"Little Twixie was the only pony Tav brought home once," Stormwing smiled. "I think it was because of the teleportation thing. Let me tell you, if I could do that, the money I'd save on travel fare would be astounding."

What? Trixie can teleport? And at such great distances? That's certainly not the Trixie I know.

"She always got my filly in trouble, she did," Stormwing went on. "Always going about with that case, and those braces. Could barely say her own name, but still felt the world was hers to rule, didn't you Twixie?"

"That was a long time ago," Trixie looked away.

"Of course it would be your idea to teleport me here like that. Jolly good joke, I say." He folded his wings. "The lads back at the pub will have a laugh when they find out. I bet they're probably shouting their heads off at the constable right now, and me—I'm having tea with two charming mares. You don't happen to have any cake by chance, do you?"

"Constable?!" Trixie shouted. "What did you do?" She glared at Starlight. "I told you to teleport him here, not kidnap him! I'll have to find a way to explain all this to Octy and fix the mess in Trottingham."

"Well, you weren't very specific!" Starlight crossed her forelegs. "You just threw me a voice crystal and told me to get him here. Not my fault Trottingham was an icy hell full of questionable stallions!"

"That's why the sign said Stallions' Night, my dear," Stormwing commented.

"Look! He's here, I'm here, you're here." Starlight managed to struggle out of her chair. "Let's just go on with your stupid plan and be done with it! Twilight will kill us afterwards, but at least she'll do it in the comfort of her castle, not in a dump like this!"

"Well, since you can't do anything right, I might as well just take care of things myself!" Trixie humphed. "Just teleport us to Canterlot and—"

"Oh, no you don't!" Starlight stomped on the table. "I'm coming along. I want to hear with my own ears what your great and powerful plan is! Not like you seem capable of explaining it!"

"Ha! Half a day on the job and I've done more than you have in a week." The magician smirked.

"Really?" Starlight narrowed her eyes.

Think you're doing better, eh? Magic twirled round her horn. Well, you're not! My magic equals that of Twilight! I've ten times more friends than you'll ever have! And just for your information, I've done an excellent job in helping callers! Violet light flooded the room. In a flash the cramped wagon interior vanished, replaced by—

"Huh?" Starlight blinked. They were in an empty meadow, in front of a rather large marble building. A massive wall surrounded it on all sides, making it appear anything by cheerful. "This isn't Canterlot." Starlight looked at the magician.

"Trixie?" a familiar voice asked. "What are... oh."

Standing a few steps away from then was Octavia herself. The last time Starlight saw the musician was on stage, surrounded by an audience of high society ponies—the creme de la creme of Canterlot. Now, Octavia was a shadow of herself at best: her eyes were red, her mane was messy, hastily brushed into shape, and the vest she was wearing could pass as second hand casual attire at best. Biting her lip, Starlight glanced at Stormwing. Had he really driven his daughter to such a desperate state?

"Nice going, hoofs-for-brains," Trixie whispered.

"Octavia, my dear," Stormwing smiled. "It's been far too long. How have you been? Nice of you to organize a surprise for your dear old father. Wonderful work, I say!"

Octavia looked at the pair of unicorns.

"Speech improvement spell," Starlight said, flashing an apologetic smile. "I had difficulty understanding him."

"I guess it's some improvement," the musician sighed. "How are you, father?"

"Smashing, my dear!" The pegasus trotted to her. "Couldn't be better." He started placing his wing over her, but Octavia moved aside. "Oh, I see." He folded his wing back. "So what is it this time?"

"Do you even have to ask?" Octavia hissed.

"You still blame me for what happened to your mother, don't you? I thought we had put that behind us. Apparently, that's too much to hope for."

"You're unbelievable!" Octavia shouted, moving further away. "You gamble everything you have on pigeon races and you make it out as it's my fault?!"

"Is that what this is about? Gambling? Sweetie, I told you I haven't—"

"I got a telegram!" Octavia snapped, turning her head towards him. "And it isn't the first one! Merciful sun, I've been coveting your gambling debts for so long they seem like part of the bloody taxes! Do you know the trouble I've been through to get the money wired on time? There were weeks I couldn't sleep, thinking what might happen to you!"

"Tav, I just didn't want to worry you..." Stormwing sighed. "Yes, I have been playing a bit, but I'm winning! Before your friend kidnapped me, I was celebrating. A hundred bits at seven to five. And I'm sure to keep the trend. This is the start of a comeback. In a few weeks I'll pay everything back and even buy you a—"

"Please, don't," Octavia whispered through her tears.

"Tav, I—"

"I've sold the house!" The musician cut him short. "I sold it and everything in it. That should be enough to settle your debts and take care of the fees."

Starlight felt a chill down her spine. This was your plan? she thought, looking at Trixie. Sending off Octavia's father into involuntary rehab? That's... She could only imagine what the musician was going through. Sending off your own father. Was it necessary, though? True, her father had some gambling issues by the sound of it, and could be incredibly difficult to get along with, but did he deserve that?

"Oct—" Starlight began, but Trixie's hoof on her shoulder suggested it might be best she not continue.

"I'm putting you in rehab, father," Octavia said firmly.

"Now, now, Tav." The pagasus' expression had completely changed. Fear mixed with regret was all over his face. "You've made your point. I—"

"It's done. I've already signed the paperwork."

"Tav, please," her father pleaded. "It's been hard on everypony, but I can change. Remember the time you wanted to go to study here? Your mother was against it. She didn't think you'd survive so far away from home, but I convinced her to give you a chance."

"It's too late, father." Octavia turned away from him.

"Octavia, if you do this you're not my daughter anymore." The words were harsh and quiet. "If I set foot in that prison you better not show your face again. Ever. I might have broken many promises before, but I promise you this—I'll never forgive you."

"Sorry, Mr. S." Trixie's horn flared. One second the pegasus was there standing with them, a flash later he was gone.

Since what can Trixie teleport? Starlight wondered. And what type of spell was that? Not standard teleportation, that's for sure.

"He'll forgive you," Trixie said, going next to Octavia. "It won't be easy, though. I don't think he'll look at you for a year, maybe two. Eventually, he will. You just have to be patient and get your life back on track."

"Back on track, eh?" Octavia let out a sad laugh.

"Hey, you still have your Prince Charming to find." The magician winked. "Don't worry. You can always call the hotline if you need help. That's what we're for."

"Trixie... I..." Octavia shook her head. "Thank you. Both of you. I feel terrible, but at least I know things will get better gradually. At this point that's enough, I guess."

"Hang in there. Remember, your prince might be right round the corner. You need to be ready for him, okay?" Trixie winked. "And with that the Great and Powerful Trixie, plus assistant, will vanish back to Ponyville!" The magician looked at Starlight. "Well?"

Nope. Not even going to question it! All this is just a crazy dream summoned by Luna to show me some important lesson.

"Well?!?" Trixie asked louder.

This time Starlight got the hint. Without a moment's thought she cast her spell, transporting the two of the back to Trixie's wagon. It seemed surprisingly spacious now that Stormwing wasn't there, yet at the same time somewhat empty.

"Talk about a tough first assignment." Trixie levitated her cloak onto the coat rack. "I'll be asking Twilight for an increase in pay. Or at least a better title. Partner would be nice. What do you think?"

"Eh?" Starlight blinked, her mind still dwelling on Octavia and her father.

"Yes, you're right." Trixie moved the teapot and bottle of rum on one of the cupboards, arranging the voice crystals on the table. "I better not tip my hoof. Twilight will undoubtedly make an offer once she sees how well Trixie handles her new responsibilities. Do you want anything to eat? I was thinking of ordering takeout."

"Whatever's good." How can you be so calm?!

"Suit yourself." Trixie winked, then magicked a window open. "Snails, fetch me and starlight something to eat will you? Anything off the twenty bit menu. Just keep it easy on the sugar, okay?" Not waiting for even a hint if a response, the magician shut the window, focusing her attention back on the voice crystals.

"Trixie, you're one of a kind, you know that?" Starlight sighed.

"Oh, definitely." Trixie grinned. "Now, where are all those callers?"