This is the life! Starlight relaxed, allowing herself to be pampered under the most luxurious treatment the spa could offer. Now she could understand why Rarity was a regular here. In the caring hooves of Lotus Blossom and Aloe, all of Starlight's stress and worry seemed to melt away. Having Trixie cover the bill each time was an added bonus.

"And be careful with Trixie's hornacure!" the blue unicorn insisted. "The great and powerful Trixie has an image to uphold! Perfection is the least Trixie will accept!"

I've no idea how a magic performer has so many bits, Starlight thought. But in the words of Applejack, I ain't complaining. It will do me some good to finally get away from it all. She had been working as a hotline assistant for only a few days, but it seemed like an eternity. Thinking about it, every call was a pony's life story, and she had heard about a dozen. Is this what Luna and Celestia go through? And to think I wanted to become ruler of Equestria.

"So, has Twilight decided what position she'll offer me?" Trixie asked, as Aloe gently filed her hooves. "I suppose vice-princess would be the obvious choice, but I wouldn't want to make you feel uncomfortable."

"Of course not," Starlight smiled. Modesty isn't really your thing, is it? Still, it was that quirk that made Trixie so much fun to be around. The trick was never to take the magician seriously.

"Maybe senior hotline operator?" Trixie mused, stroking her chin. "Or executive hotline operator. Or special hotline assistant—"

"I'm sure she'll figure it out." No offense, Trixie, but I don't see you lasting one hour at this job. Images of the blue unicorn talking with callers appeared in her head, each more frightening than the last. It wasn't so much that Trixie would cause chaos, Starlight had already caused plenary of that, it was rather that the performer might consider everything as a contest and start spewing lies about how she had gone through exactly the same ordeal as the caller and provide a bogus way of resolving the problem. Besides, your magic isn't all that good.

"Oh, I suppose." Trixie shrugged, then leaned back, so Aloe could start filing her horn.

"Why do you want that job anyway?" Starlight levitated a hot towel onto her face. Aah! This feels sooo good! "It's not like you need the money."

"Ah, but you see, Trixie likes a challenge." The explanation made Starlight roll her eyes even under the towel. "Also, dad only agreed to send me money as long as I promised to find a respectable job." Trixie huffed through her nostrils. "He could never understood what an artist's calling means. It's all about tradition and values and not shaming the family's good name." Her horn flared in anger, causing Aloe to step back. "Anyway, maybe you can tell the Princess to hurry up? Just tell her that my initial position isn't that important."

Starlight winced. "Position", like "professional", was among the words she hoped she'd never have to hear again. Levitating the towel off her face, she looked at Trixie. Her friend didn't seem at all concerned, engaging in trivial conversation with the spa ponies. Starlight, however, remained silent. There was something she wished to talk about, yet strongly preferred it to remain in private.

Should I ask her directly? The reasonable thing to do was forget the entire Rainbow Dash confession and move on with the normal things of life: changeling invasion, school civil war, Scootaloo's conquest of Equestria... Starlight sighed. Things were so much simpler when she was conquering villages and playing with time travel. At least then the rules were clear.

"Trixie," Starlight began. "Can I ask you something?"

"You can ask Trixie anything." Her friend answered in a state of bliss. Little wonder, having in mind how good the hoof and hornacures here were.

"I meant..." Starlight's voice trailed off. She didn't want to be rude in the only place that always made her feel welcome. Lotus, fortunately, got the hint. With a smiled and a nod she stepped away, taking her duster along. Thanks girls. Starlight took a deep breath. Now it was time for the difficult part. "Trixie, what do you think of me? I mean as a mare?"

"Err?" Trixie's eyes shot open. "What exactly do you mean?" She inched away slightly.

"Like, do you find me attractive?" Starlight continued, waving her forehoof.

"Whoa, now!" The blue unicorn violently pulled away. "It's normal that you'd fall victim to the Trixie effect—" she waved her hooves defensively "—but I'm not into mares." There was a slight pause. "And no, it isn't you, it's me—"

"Oh, not that," Starlight cut her short. Not that there aren't rumours on the matter. Thanks again for this morning's call, Trixie! Way to put stupid ideas in Twilight's head. "I mean, do you think a mare would find me attractive? Another mare." She narrowed her eyes.

"Oooh!" Trixie said in relief, relaxing back on the chaise lounge. "Hmm." She looked at Starlight critically. Her eyes moved from her mane to her hair to her hooves in slow succession, each time accompanied by a tisk or a shake of the head.

I really hate it when you do that! As Starlight had learned, Trixie had a problem when it came to serious questions. Ask her anything and she could make stuff up on the spot. Ask an important question, though, and her attitude would change completely. She would think for hours, considering all the options, and finally come with a surprisingly good suggestion. There were only two problem with that: the process was maddeningly slow, and the advice ended up being the last thing Starlight wanted to do.

"Rainbow Dash has a crush on me." Starlight caved in. Sorry, but I don't have all afternoon. "She called the hotline this morning thinking I was Spike and went on a whole tirade how she had fallen for me, how sad she was that I wasn't noticing her, how jealous she was of you—"

"A-ha!" Trixie jumped upright. "I knew it! I just knew it! That raincloud pouring over my wagon wasn't a clerical error! She had it in for me all along!" Her nostrils flared. "And that time we went to—"

"Let’s please focus on the matter at hoof," Starlight grumbled.

"Hmph." Trixie settled down, brushing her mane with a hoof. "I expect it's natural for lesser ponies to be threatened by my natural beauty."

"The point is, what do I do?" It was definitely a mistake telling Trixie. Now I don't know how to continue this conversation. Maybe I should stop here? We could go back to other topics, like reminiscing about the times we wanted to take over Equestria or something?

"Ahem," Trixie cleared her threat. "Since you asked for my advice, you'll have to answer a simple question. How do you feel about her? Above that, how do you feel about dating mares?"

A touch of pink appeared on Starlight's face. It was a simple question, one she would probably have considered if she hadn't been preoccupied with other things... that is, if she hadn't chickened out and ignored it completely. Of course I'm not into mares! Her ears flicked. Ever since she was a filly she had the hugest crush on Sunburst. She had nearly conquered Equestria because of him. How could anypony think she might be into mares? Although... She bit her lower lip. It would be a lie if she said she didn't enjoy all the mare scenes in the romance novels she had been reading. There was something about mare pairings that just seemed so much better than normal pairings. In that regard, Starlight had gotten into huge arguments with Fluttershy in the literature club on the subject. On one occasion it had come to an exchange of hooves. Thank the Stars for Angel Bunny to keep things civil.

"Err, well." Sweat trickled down Starlight's face. "The thing is—"

"Starlight!" A deafening scream made her and Trixie hop in their seats. Their horns flared up ready to engage in battle. Starlight glanced at the entrance expecting to see an army of changelings. Instead, she saw a small dragon running in her direction, a large wooden box in his hands.

"Spike?" Her horn returned to normal. "What? Why are you here? Aren't you supposed—"

Before she could finish, the dragon had reached her, shoving the box in her hooves. He then proceeded to fall on the floor in an attempt to catch his breath.

Seriously? Starlight frowned. you just come here and shove this thing at me during my afternoon off? You could stand to learn some manners. With a sigh, she levitated the box to the floor, and opened it. The contents made her ears flop down flat on her scalp. Voice crystals—four of them—lay calmly within, very much like vipers ready to attack. Starlight's first instinct was to close the box and banished it away. Unfortunately, Trixie pounced on it like a cat on cream.

"Model C5s21!" The magician said with such admiration, one would imagine her holding an Element of Harmony. "Crystal Empire quality. I didn't know the new series was even in production!" She grinned widely at Spike and Starlight, who in turn glanced at each other, not budging an inch. "You use these? Top choice! I borrowed a series 3 once for one of my acts. Worked splendidly, until it shattered under the pressure. That's the problem with the C3—not at all durable."

"Riiiiight," Starlight laughed nervously. "Well, you know Twilight. Nothing but the best equipment. And I'm sure Spike will explain why he brought four voice crystals here." She glared at the dragon. "During my afternoon off," she added for good measure.

"Umm, we have a sort of situation." The dragon shifted from foot to foot.

I knew it! "Are we invaded by changelings?" Starlight grabbed Spike with her magic. "Has Scootaloo conquered Ponyville? Has—"

"Starlight!" Spike growled pushing himself back to the ground. "Chill, will you? Just because we have a bit of a crisis doesn't mean it's the end of Equestria!" He crossed his arms. "Although I could use something to drink. After, you know, rushing to bring these here."

Instantly a bottle of soft cider materialized in mid air a step away from the dragon. Spike glanced at it in mock hesitation, then grabbed it and removed the cork.

"Straw?" He looked at Starlight. Don't push it! A straw materialized in the air in front of the dragon. "Thanks." He put the straw in the bottle and started to drink... with excruciating slowness. There was little doubt he was doing it deliberately, stopping every few gulps to take a deep breath and comment that he needed that. Starlight glared at him, impatiently tapping hoof on the chaise lounge.

I'm going to strangle you! She turned to Trixie for support, yet her friend was still busy admiring the voice crystals. Starlight arched a brow. She hadn't expected a geek-out regarding voice crystals. Oh well, you live, you learn.

"Niiice." Spike put the empty bottle on the floor, after what seemed like a small eternity. "It could have used a bit more quartz dust..."

"Spiiike!" Starlight said through her teeth. "I'm sure you wouldn't want somepony to get it in her head that she hates you, all of a sudden." You leave me no choice! "Like say, Rar—"

*blink* *blink* *blink*

One of the voice crystals activated. Starlight's reaction was immediate. Days of answering to callers had drove her hoof to it before she could even think.

"Welcome to Twilight's Friendship Hotline," she started in an polite, even voice. "I'm Starlight Glimmer, and—"

"Starlight!" Twilight's voice filled the room. "Thank the stars Spike got to you on time! We have an emergency!"

"Twilight?" Starlight blinked. "What is—"

"No time to explain! Just be ready for an influx of calls! If we're lucky it'll be over in a few hours... I hope."

"Whah! Wait just a moment!" I'm not getting the runaround from you too! "What calls? What emergency? What crisis? You can't just dump this on me and expect me to pretend nothing's happened!"

"Right. Sorry." The sound of twilight inhaling and exhaling followed. Great, the Cadence panic coping mechanics. Twilight really must be way out of her comfort zone. "I had a talk with Vinyl Scratch to put a booth in her club yesterday. Apparently she liked the idea of the hotline and did just that."

"That's it?" Starlight felt like screaming. "I don't see what the huge fuss is about." Why do you have to flip out on my only afternoon off? "Isn't that a good thing?"

"I didn't specify which club," Twilight groaned. "And she had one placed in each of them."

"Oh." That might be slightly uncomfortable. "How many clubs are we talking about?"

"I don't know!" Twilight reverted back to panicked screaming. "From what I could learn there are twelve in Manehattan alone! Plus one in Ponyville, seventeen in Canterlot, five in Las Pegasus... and that's not counting partnerships!"

"Oookay..." That sounds somewhat bad.

"And, apparently, she placed the booths right at the entrance with a huge sign saying This is a favour for a really cool friend, so check it out, okay?" Even through the voice crystal Starlight could hear the princess crying.

Poor Twilight. The thought that somepony might go unanswered is apparently enough to drive you insane. Starlight shivered. The last full Twilight freakout had devastated twelve rooms in the castle, as well as reversed the laws of physics in seven more. It had taken Princess Celestia herself to come and fix matters. All because of a prank Starlight and Rainbow Dash had played on her. Come to think about it, Rainbow did seem a bit too snugly while we were working on that prank...

"I'm sure we'll be able to handle things." Starlight did her best to sound convincing. How many callers could there be? "You just relax and—"

"Starlight, haven't you been listening to a word I've said?!" Twilight shouted. "Ponies of over fifty clubs will start calling, and since Vinyl is asleep I can't get ahold of her to remove the signs! And before you suggest it, I won't be closing booths or brainwashing ponies!"

Hey! I could have suggested something else! Starlight pouted.

"Can you imagine how disappointed Princess Celestia will be if my initiative ends up being a total disaster?!"

Oh, of course, we can't have that happen. Starlight squinted.

"And, of course, this would happen at the worst possible time!" Twilight sighed heavily.

"Oh?" Starlight's ears perked. Is my afternoon off such a big deal? I'm touched you think so highly of me. It's nothing, really, all I did was follow your instructions. I guess Spike has a lot to learn before he can become a suitable replacement—

"Half price date day!" Twilight wept.

"Huh?" Starlight blinked. What the what? Do you still seriously think Trix and I are an item?!

"Bring a date, get a fifty percent discount off drinks for the first hour," Trixie whispered. "Double daters get a free bowl of champagne, and also a ten percent discount on karaoke for the evening." There was a moment of uncomfortable silence. Starlight looked at her friend, eyes wide in disbelief. "What?" Trixie shrugged. "Trixie was there in a professional capacity!"

And I just learned that Trixie is a clubgoer, Starlight noted with concern.

"Trixie?" Twilight's voice sounded more like a squeak than anything. "Have you been listening to the conversation this whole time?!"

"Well, forgive Trixie for spending an afternoon at the spa with her friend!" the magician humphed. "It's not like Trixie was planning on you having your dragon bring a crate of voice crystals. Nice model, by the way. Are they on sale, or did you get the early prototype line?"

"Why, thanks!" Twilight's tone suddenly changed. The animosity of just a moment ago vanished completely, replaced by excitement. Geeks talking. Starlight facehooved. "I proposed some modifications to the C5 line, and that got me access to the early prototypes. The manufacturer agreed to let me have some samples to beta test them in my hotline."

"Good thinking," Trixie nodded sagely. "That way they can add cool new features and dispel the annoying bugs before they hit the market. Also, good move using Crystal Empire. No offense, but the common equestrian crystals are trash."

"I know," Twilight giggled. "Shining is still mad at me for pointing that out to Cadance. He never was good at business."

"Pfft. Most stallions aren't." Trixie waved a hoof. "Leave them to look charming and trot about, but when there's actual thinking to be done—"

"Excuse me!" Starlight cut in. "Huge crisis, remember?" Poetic how I'm using Twilight's words against her. "Shouldn't we be doing something?"

Things were moving too fast again—precisely how Starlight didn't want them to go. She turned to ask Spike to back her up, only to notice he was no longer there.

Why, you pesky little!!! This had to be revenge for the muffins! Spike had probably dashed off the moment Twilight had called and in the heat of the situation nopony had noticed. Of course, Starlight could use her magic to summon him back, but at present there was no point. It wasn't like she could do anything, especially if she were expecting as many calls as Twilight feared.

"So, what's the plan?" Starlight asked.

"Trixie, you're hired," Twilight said decisively, at which point the mare in question made a silent yes-gesture with her hoof. "Part time," the Princess added.

"I can live with that," Trixie whispered to Starlight, the smile not leaving her face.

"I expect you two to handle any calls that come your way. Spike and I will do the same. If we survive till tonight, we celebrate at the castle. My treat."

"Fine, but if—" The call ended abruptly, leaving Starlight's jaw hanging open.

No sound followed. Starlight's ears flopped down. You could have at least heard me out... she thought. Logically, there was no reason for her to be upset. Twilight had a lot of things on her mind. The hotline aside, she was an Element of Harmony, a Princess, and mentor. It was naturally for her to be short on time. Yet, it still stings...

"Starry?" Trixie placed a hoof on her shoulder. "Did I say something wrong?"

"No, I..." The heck if I know, Trix! I just wished that Twi would give me some credit for once! "It's just that Rainbow thing that has me a bit messed up."

"Oh." Trixie nodded. "Well, I guess the Great and Powerful Trixie could help you out. It's the least I could do." She looked about suspiciously. Seeing no sight of Lotus of Aloe, she moved closer. "Don't say this to anypony, but Rainbow Dash was smitten with me the last time I did a performance here."

"What?!" Starlight's horn flashed briefly. Rainbow Dash, you no good two timing mare! Not that I'm upset because I clearly am not in the least bit interested in you!

"Yes," Trixie giggled-snorted. "Our blue pegasus has a thing for bad mares."

"Tell me," Starlight said firmly. Right that moment all four voice crystals began flashing.