She met him in Manehatten, while she was trying to set up her new boutique. Rarity had always dreamed of opening up a line of stores with her designs, and she’d worked hard to make her dream a reality. I remembered her saving every bit she earned until she could open a store in Canterlot, and once that had prospered another in Manehatten.

In another lifetime, I’m sure her new stores would have been the center of me and my friend’s lives. I can imagine how we would have all turned out to support Rarity, and how we would have tried our best to help her if she ran into any problems.

But I died before she cut the ribbon on her new store in Canterlot, and I never got to see her realize her dream. My death and the ensuing drama surrounding my return postponed Rarity’s debut for many months, so she missed the fashionable height of the season. She opened her store quietly, and sold her dresses with the help of her assistant, Sassy Saddles.

There were some problems with leadership, I guess. Sassy Saddles tried to take control of the direction of the store. Maybe it would have been the cause for drama had I been alive, when we were more innocent. But there were no friends to talk to, and Rarity dealt with the problem herself. Her store prospered, and she quickly had enough bits for her second store.

It might seem weird to some ponies that Rarity continued to make dresses even as the undead rose. But Equestria wasn’t in a state of war, and it adjusted quickly to the undead threat. Within the walls of each city there was near complete safety, and so life could go on more or less as usual.

That didn’t mean Rarity didn’t adapt to the times. Far from it; she lead the charge on fashion and protection. Her dresses combined both the fashions of the day and practical designs such as incorporating armor into her attire. She took over the design of the Grave Warden’s armor for instance, and after she was done, they looked cool.

So with all her success, why not open up another shop in what some ponies called the greatest city in all of Equestria? I can give you one reason: raccoons.

Turns out there was a nest of them living in the back of the store Rarity bought. I had no idea how she didn’t notice that when she was buying the place, but that was only the tip of the iceberg. Add in an obnoxious landlord, an even more obnoxious daughter, Vinyl Scratch’s nightclub being above Rarity’s boutique and a sick shop assistant on opening day and you get Rarity at the end of her rope.

For my part, I never got why Rarity had to open the store on the same day she fixed everything up. Wouldn’t it have made more sense to, y’know, get everything in order a few weeks in advance and then have your big opening? Honestly, unicorns sometimes make no sense to me.

But whatever Rarity’s reasoning, she had one heck of an opening day. None of the other elements of Harmony were there to help her – I’m sure they would have loved to come, but they had pressing duties each of them. Fluttershy and Applejack were always responding to new threats, Twilight was working as a full-time administrator, managing cities and making sure everypony was secure, and Pinkie Pie was touring Equestria with her party cannon, cheering up ponies.

And I was dead. Did I mention that?

So I watched as Rarity tried to juggle a thousand tasks at once and failed. Naturally, I could have come back to life and lent a hoof but…

I can fight as many hordes of monsters as you want. I can save ponies from danger, although I don’t really bother doing it unless it’s one of my friends, and I can walk through molten lava to get folks to safety. But fashion and design? Not my things. Can you imagine the undead me greeting ponies with a smile, or organizing the window display?

Not gonna happen.

I’m being facetious, of course. In truth, I would have given anything to spend time doing whatever Rarity needed. I would have embroidered all her dresses if it meant I could sit with her and hear her voice. But as I’ve said, the dead shouldn’t mix with the living. We hurt them too much.

And despite the disaster in Rarity’s boutique, I wasn’t about to reappear and add to the chaos. It hurt to watch her break down and cry as things came crashing down around her ears, but what could I do? Nothing. Nothing at all.

So I was glad at first when he came along. I truly was.

…No, I wasn’t. I guess I’ll be honest and say it outright: I hated his guts the moment I saw him. I don’t know if the dead can see the future, but I can predict some things. Like when you put Rarity in the same room with a handsome stallion, she’s going to fall in love.

Now, I’m not calling Rarity shallow. She’s the most wonderful pony I’ve ever met, and I love her for her generous heart and the way she can make anything special. I just…

Okay, she’s shallow. Sometimes Rarity can be unbelievably shallow and only pay attention to looks. That’s not a bad thing; I mean, nice things look nice, it’s just that she always gets her heart broken by the ponies she falls in love with. I still remember Trenderhoof and Blueblood. Once you got past their appearance…which wasn’t bad, I’ll admit – you found out they were total jerks. I could name a certain brother of Fluttershy that reminded me of them, which is probably why I never feel for either pony, but Rarity just sees a pony and immediately starts writing marriage invitations.

…I really hated that when we were together. Even though I knew she loved me, sometimes—

Nevermind. I don’t want to go back to that. Let’s just say that when I saw him for the first time I thought Rarity was about to run into another pony who would reveal his true colors after an hour or so and break her heart. But he didn’t.

He was nice.

Did I say nice? I mean it. It’s weird to say that about a stallion, isn’t it? I don’t think that’s a word I’d use to describe any stallion. Well, maybe Big Mac but he’s also the strong and serious type, y’know? But this guy, he was nice, and quiet, and polite.

Like I said, hate on sight. I guess it’s because he had all the traits I lacked. And sadly, all the things I don’t have are what Rarity needs in a pony. She and I loved each other because we’re alike, but sadly, that means neither of us are good at holding each other back.

That’s how I end up putting myself in the Ponyville Hospital at least once a month, and how Rarity ended up in the middle of her store, sobbing her eyes out as raccoons ran around panicking because Vinyl Scratch was nearly bringing down the roof with her sick bass drops. What can I say? I’m a fan.

But Rarity was in a bad situation and panicking. She had every fashionable pony of note lined up to visit her boutique that night and she was in over her head. Now, if it were me or Applejack we’d just work harder and try to get as much done as possible. Rarity on the other hand just gave up and started crying. Hey, if it works for her…

And I guess it did work, because in he came. The nice stallion who couldn’t just walk past when he heard a pony crying. He saw Rarity, listened to her garbled explanation of why absolutely everything was wrong…

And fixed it.

I mean everything. If you can name it, he got rid of the problem.

Raccoons? Animal control. One call and they got placed outside of Manehatten where they belong. Vinyl Scratch? More noise-cancelling foam in her club and you can’t even hear it when she cranks it up to eleven. That obnoxious landlord and his daughter, Plaid Stripes? Yeah, turns out threatening to raise the rent if you don’t employ his daughter is illegal. Plus, when you know the Princess of Harmony, problems like laws tend to resolve themselves on your side most of the time. Just saying.

He even fixed the stupid doorbell. I mean, okay, it was just replacing that horn with a real bell. I could have done that. It’s just that he was, well, efficient.

Turns out that’s because he managed a perfume company in Manehatten. I know, right? That’s so…boring. But hey, boring ponies are the ones who get things done, and in this case, he saved Rarity’s boutique.

She helped too, of course. After he started resolving problems left and right, Rarity finally got the window display done and hired a few more shop assistants. When the fashionable ponies finally flooded her store that night, Rarity had everything looking perfect, and her boutique was a success.

I can’t imagine how relieved Rarity was. I really don’t need to, anyways. She was nearly in tears from relief. And the thing about Rarity is that when you do her a small favor, she gets dramatic. She’ll kiss your hooves, say thank you a thousand times…but when you’ve really helped her, she’s humble. And she thanked him with that rare, honesty sincerity I seldom saw from her. It hurt to see.

He waved it off and told her he was happy to help, but you know Rarity. She insisted on buying him dinner, and then told him she would personally make him a custom-tailored suit. It would take a few sessions to measure and fit, but wouldn’t he accept?

And he did. And that night I watched in spirit form as he and Rarity dined in one of Manehatten’s fanciest restaurants, laughing and toasting each other over a glass of wine. And that’s when I knew she was in love with him.

Maybe she didn’t want another mare to break her heart. I can understand that.

They started talking after Rarity managed to avoid total disaster with her boutique. Just talking, at first. Yeah, I know how it goes. But I was the only pony who saw it. All of my friends were busy dealing with the undead or with their lives, and I guess they just didn’t pick up on Rarity’s infatuation. She certainly didn’t act like she did before, throwing herself at the stallion of her dreams like a love-sick filly. This time she was more reserved, more cautious.

She’d already lost one special somepony.

So it was a quiet relationship, but one that grew. And I was the only one who saw it.

Well…maybe not the only one. Perhaps Pinkie picked up on it, but my friend the party pony had changed since my death. Rather than bounce around all the time, Pinkie had changed from a cake-baking pony of fun and laughter into a pony who tried to make other ponies smile. I know it sounds the same, but it’s not.

Anyways, Pinkie was the only pony who really travelled around a lot after the dead started attacking. Oh, Fluttershy and Applejack went everywhere as well, but they were just chasing the undead attacks. Pinkie on the other hand made it her mission to travel to every city, town, and village in Equestria and spread cheer.

She was good at it, obviously. Pinkie can put a smile on anypony’s face, and she often lent a hoof helping ponies rebuild or deal with their problems. But she always made time to visit Rarity and all of my friends. And so I say she might have picked up on Rarity’s crush, but unusually for Pinkie, she didn’t blab about it.

I can’t say the same for Applejack. After her fight with Twilight, Applejack grew more…distant from everypony. Oh, she was friendly with Pinkie, and she and Fluttershy had a working relationship, but Twilight…no. On the other hoof, Applejack visited Rarity quite often. Mostly, it was to consult her on the Grave Warden’s armor, but sometimes she visited just because they were friends.

And I’ll give this to AJ: she’s not an idiot. Uh, but she might be sort of slow on the uptake when it comes to relationship matters. She didn’t notice how he and Rarity were in each other’s company all the time, or how their eyes met far too often, or even when they nuzzled each other when they thought no pony was looking or…

If it wasn’t for Applejack walking in on Rarity as she was kissing him, I don’t think she would ever have noticed. But when she did figure out what was happening, well, let’s just say there was a fight.

A big fight.

Have you ever seen friends fight? It hurts more than you’d think. And in this case, I saw every bitter moment of it, all the things they normally hide or say in private. To cut a long and messy story short, Applejack disliked him as much as I did, but Rarity refused to listen to her. And when Applejack started giving Rarity orders like she ordered around her Grave Wardens…yeah. I think you know what happened after that.

After the shouting ended, Applejack and Rarity stopped talking. And the next week after a few ugly public encounters, Rarity moved to Manehatten and started living with him in his apartment there. It was a messy move, and none of my friends wanted Rarity to go. But she was serious. I know how serious it is for us to move apart, and I know Rarity wanted to stay in Ponyville. If Applejack hadn’t been so stubborn—

Well, I would have done the same. At any rate, Rarity left, and my friends were bitterly unhappy. But as I’ve said, the times had changed. My friends had changed. The Elements of Harmony were no longer six, and that had made us all grow up. As much as it hurt to lose another friend, even if it was just her moving to another city and only visiting every few weeks…everyone had work to do.

Because the undead were still rising. Yes, they were held off by walls of stone and ponies armed with steel and fire, but they were still a menace. Grave Wardens hunted them down every day, and the Wonderbolts were always on call, putting out fires and saving lives. Pinkie Pie kept ponies sane and Twilight made sure everything stayed together. Without any of my friends Equestria would have fallen apart, have lost a vital part of its defenses.

Except for Rarity, that was. She hadn’t become a cornerstone of Equestria. She had chosen to find more love instead. As I watched over all my friends, so I watched over Rarity and saw how her every waking moment was in his company. She helped him grow his business, selling perfumes, colognes…what a waste of her talents. But she—she loved him. And she was safe in Manehatten, and so I watched over her less. It just hurt too much to be near her.

And there was more work for me. It seemed that every week I would be called by one of my friends to take down a horde that was threatening a far-off village. My appearances became so regular that ponies started building more statues of me and telling legends of who I had been in life. Again, I cared not at all.

Life continued on as Rarity spent time with him, and the others protected Equestria. Everything was in a fragile state of balance, so that a single bad event could break the tenous peace Equestria maintained. And as it happened, that bad event as a big one.

It started as a few rumors of ponies on the move. Then it grew into reports of a horde of the undead, later revealed to be ponies, marching together for unknown reasons. Scouts were dispatched who never came back, and then all of Equestria heard the news. A village had rebelled against Celestia’s rule. No, that wasn’t right. A town had been altered by some strange magic that stole their Cutie Marks. Actually, it was a new alicorn that had appeared, one that offered a better future that made all ponies equal. The rumors spread, but I ignored them. I had seen the truth and I watched as events unfolded.

I don’t know where she came from, but she chose the late spring to make her move. A mad pony named Starlight Glimmer raised an army of brainwashed ponies to follow her. With her as their leader, they began taking over nearby villages and even cities, preaching that only through ‘equality’ and removing everypony’s Cutie Mark could the undead menace be thwarted.

It might sound like a dumb cult that had no chance of succeeding, but you’d be surprised by how many dumb ponies are in Equestria. Starlight told everypony that the undead attacks were a sign of the corruption of our Cutie Marks – that nature itself was rebelling against this unnatural order. She pointed to me as a sign of how corrupt Twilight and the princesses were, and ponies listened. Her followers grew, and she assimilated entire towns through her charisma, her subversive message, and her ability to steal Cutie Marks and imprison anypony who spoke out against her.

Yeah, she was sort of sympathetic until that last bit, wasn’t she? Turns out Starlight was a genius spellcaster, with talent that surpassed even Twilight. She could literally take away Cutie Marks and so even the Wonderbolts and Equestria’s standing forces couldn’t stop her advance.

Mark you, most of the Wonderbolts didn’t really have time to launch any attacks on Starlight’s group. They were busy saving lives. As for Applejack’s Grave Wardens, they didn’t care at all and left Starlight to do her thing. The Canterlot Royal Guard tried to stop her as she marched towards Ponyville, but they were overwhelmed and captured in a quick pitched battle outside of Manehatten.

Starlight brought nearly two thousand of her Equalist ponies to Ponyville and tried to capture Twilight. I think her plan was to show Equestria that even one of the alicorn princesses believed in her cause. Too bad she underestimated me.

Seriously, if she’d gone to Canterlot, she might have even captured Celestia and Luna. They wouldn’t have attacked their own people, and Starlight’s mark-stealing magic seemed to have no limits. Heck, she nearly stole Twilight’s before I stopped her. Her army was loyal without a fault, and no army would have dared fight them for fear of shedding innocent pony’s blood.

Well, no pony except me, that is.

----

The battle had taken place on the outskirts of Ponyville, in an open stretch of plains just outside the walls in fact. While it may have seemed odd that Twilight’s forces had not chosen to defend the high walls surrounding Ponyville, Starlight’s army had avoided assailing the walls for the same reason. The threat of the undead was such that neither side would risk damaging the one defensive line between Ponyville and the dead. Whoever won would take possession of Ponyville, walls intact.

But the battle had already been fought, and won. As I stepped through the twisted and broken ground around me, I walked past or sometimes over Starlight’s fallen ponies. They called themselves the Equalists, mainly after the two black lines that were the Cutie Marks of all ponies Starlight’s magic affected.

And they were legion. In that there were almost enough ponies to constitute an actual legion.

Yes, Starlight’s madness had spread from her small village to the rest of Eqeustria. Maybe she would never have succeeded if there hadn’t been the threat of the undead. Maybe, or maybe they would have believed her either way. But from a little less than a hundred ponies, Starlight’s Equalist forces had grown in number until they marched in the thousands.

Twilight had met Starlight outside of Ponyville with fifty or so Royal Guards and Ponyville’s militia. I watched as she pleaded for Starlight to abandon her goal of taking away everypony’s Cutie Mark. Guess how well that went? Starlight ordered her followers to attack, and Twilight had to fight.

Picture the scene. On one side you had Twilight, alicorn princess and all that with a few Royal Guards, my four friends, and some other half-trained ponies. On the other side you had Starlight Glimmer, a mad pony with peerless magical ability and thousands of her untrained but rabid followers. Yeah. How do you think the battle went?

Starlight’s followers had easily overwhelmed Twilight’s few Royal Guards with their numbers, and despite Fluttershy bringing a squad of Wonderbolts in at the last moment, all they could do was hold off Starlight’s forces as they pressed closer to Twilight. Applejack had offered her Grave Wardens, but Twilight had refused to let ponies kill other ponies. And so they had battered at Twilight’s force field and captured her forces until it was just her and a few ponies left.

And then I had arrived. Honestly, I had debated appearing this time. Not because I wasn’t ready to hurt other ponies, but because of what my friends would think. But when the first hoof had broken through Twilight’s force field and Starlight ordered her brought before her so she could take her Cutie Mark, I made up my mind.

And the result was the battlefield I walked across. It wasn’t silent. Only when I fight the dead is there complete silence. Whenever mortal beings fight and hurt each other, there’s a lot of sound, even after the battle has ended.

Like screaming. And weeping.

Ponies cried out in agony as I passed by them. Most, if not all had some kind of injury. Some were mild; heavy bruises, a few cuts here and there. But I’d hit many with enough force to break bones, and so hundreds of ponies knelt and wailed as their bones protruded through broken flesh, or their limbs bent at odd angles. I ignored all of them. My focus was at a single pony at the heart of the battlefield.

A pony with a pink coat and purple and teal mane knelt in the center of the battlefield, breathing heavily. Her face was gray with the strain of using too much magic, and sweat poured down her brow. Ashes surrounded her hooves. Well, more like dust. When my body is destroyed or I leave it, it disintegrates into dust. I’m not sure why.

Starlight looked up at me and hissed in fear and hatred. She tried to rise, but I’d already broken her left hoof and her right was trapped underneath a rock. Nevertheless, Starlight’s horn flared with magic and I had to dodge sideways or let the beam of magic shear the top of my head off.

Again.

Whatever you might say about Starlight Glimmer, her mastery of magic was second to none, including Twilight’s. Case in point: even after I destroyed her army and fought her to a standstill, she still managed to take my head off with a lucky shot. Too bad for her that I could reappear as many times as it took.

Starlight tried to blast my head off with a bolt of magic, but I closed the distance between us and grabbed her. She would have teleported away, but she was far too tired from using her magic. Her horn flared and sputtered out as Starlight fought my grip.

Contemptuously I tossed Starlight away. She flew ten feet and hit the ground—hard. Even so, she scrambled to her hooves but I was next to her in an instant. I struck her with one hoof and she slammed into the ground. With my supernatural senses I knew she’d fractured several bones from the impact.

Casually, I held Starlight down with one hoof. She growled and fought me, but she was helpless. I studied her, the strange unicorn behind this new movement. She was charismatic and bold, that I had seen. But she was also angry. Even faced against me, a living legend and monster beyond death, Starlight still spat and raged at me with incredible fury. Why? What gave her such passion? I wondered.

I have no fury in my soul. What strong emotions I have left—perhaps love. Love and heartbreak for a certain pony, but little else. Joy, sorrow, even hatred seemed to have slowly oozed out of my soul in my long death. Only a few of my strongest feelings remained, but what anchored me was the same strength that had always guided my life. I felt it as I looked at my friends, picking their way across the battlefield to my position.

Loyalty. Always loyalty.

They were there, all of them. Twilight walked in a heavy escort of Royal Guards, most wounded, while Applejack was flanked by two Grave Wardens, serious and darkly confident. Fluttershy was still ordering Wonderbolts to tend to the wounded and Pinkie Pie was ministering to them as well. Rarity walked next to Twilight, ignoring Applejack. She didn’t look at Starlight Glimmer. Her eyes were fixed on me.

Starlight Glimmer hissed with rage as Twilight approached.

“Is this your message of friendship, Princess?” she spat at Twilight. “Sending your friend – this thing to destroy anypony who opposes you?”

I pushed down on Starlight, choking her with my hoof.

“Rainbow.” Twilight looked at me and I silently stopped applying as much pressure on Starlight. But my hoof was on her chest and if she made any moves I would smash her like a bug.

“I didn’t send Rainbow Dash to attack you,” Twilight told Starlight. “She came of her own free will. And though I can’t agree with many of her actions, the fact that she is watching over me and my friends even in death is proof of our friendship.”

“A likely story,” Starlight sneered. “No pony can cheat death.”

“Except for Rainbow!” Pinkie slid over in the mud of the battlefield. “She can totally cheat death! And I guess Sombra could cheat death too, since he was sorta dead but not really dead. But we killed him so I guess he couldn’t cheat death after all.”

“Hah!” Somehow Starlight managed to be arrogant even lying on her back. She lifted a hoof and pointed at my face. “This isn’t Rainbow Dash. This—this is just a dead puppet. You’re using magic to reanimate her corpse, or bring a puppet back to life. She’s just a convenient little tool you and Princess Celestia use to dispose of anypony you don’t like!”

Around her, Starlight’s Equalists raised their heads and looked at Twilight uneasily. I felt their gazes shift to me and then shy away.

“You’re wrong,” Twilight said. “Rainbow Dash is here. And I would never use such dark magic. Starlight Glimmer, I believe you have the wrong idea about me.”

“I don’t think so.” Starlight’s eyes were flashing hatred for Twilight, her friends, and most of all, me. “You Elements of Harmony. You think you’re all so special, don’t you? You sit in your castle and preach friendship while ponies rise from the ground! You’re no better than anypony else!”

“I never claimed to be.” Twilight shrugged helplessly. “But I was chosen to be Princess of Friendship. From the day I got my Cutie Mark, I knew my talent was magic. And Princess Celestia saw something in me and made me her pupil. I can’t help how things turn out, Starlight.”

“Hah. Cutie Marks!” Starlight’s eyes locked on mine and even in my deathly state I could feel her rage, her fury, and her…pain. “I’ve created a new kind of pony, one that doesn’t need those cursed Cutie Marks! And if it wasn’t for your freak, I would have cured all of Equestria of its menace.”

“Y’all are out of your mind,” Applejack snapped, talking in my presence for the first time in months. She avoided looking at me as she glared at Starlight. “Our Cutie Marks make us who we are. Without them how’re we supposed to know what our purpose is?”

“Maybe by finding it yourself, or is that too hard for your farmer’s brain hayseed?” Starlight taunted Applejack. “Or is it too hard for you to understand? Oh wait, I forgot. You’re no farmer, you just kill ponies. Maybe if you weren’t such a butcher you’d understand my—”

Starlight got no further because I reapplied pressure on her windpipe.

“Rainbow!” Twilight shouted at me. Reluctantly, I let Starlight choke and gasp as air flooded her lungs again.

“Look, regardless of what you think of me and my friends, violence is not the way to get your message across,” Twilight told Starlight. “Please, give every pony their Cutie Marks back and we can talk this out civilly.”

“Are you mad?” Starlight laughed even as I pressed her to the ground. “Give up all I’ve worked for just like that? I’ll see you rot in Tartarus before I do.”

“Starlight—” Twilight began, frustrated.

“I will never give up!” Suddenly Starlight’s horn glowed. I reacted, but too late. Her magic blasted me in a beam of white light that turned my body to ash.

Starlight laughed hysterically and stood up as my friends recoiled in shock. “No pony is match for me!” She shouted. “I’ll destroy Ponyville, and I’ll get rid of all your Cutie Marks, starting with y—”

Starlight’s words cut off with a choked gasp as my hoof struck her in the belly with a whumph that everyone on the battlefield heard. Her eyes bulged in surprise and she flipped over. Stunned, winded, she looked up at the dead pegasus that stood over her.

I think there’s a saying in Equestria. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice…and I’ll kick your head in. Or something like that. The point is that Starlight had already killed me once, and even though she’d hit me again, I’d been ready this time. It was the work of a moment to reform my body back into existence, and having done that, I was ready to finish this.

With one step I was standing over Starlight. She was still gaping like a fish, gasping for air. Even so, her horn was already glowing with another spell. I had to hoof it to her, she had guts. Too bad she was about to see them all over the ground.

Before Starlight could cast, I hit her in the head with one hoof. Her head snapped back and she fell on her back, stunned. In the next moment my hoof was pressed against the side of her head. And then I started pressing down.

How much pressure does it take to crush a pony’s skull? The answer might surprise you. It’s about 500 pounds of pressure, more than any normal pony could exert. But me? I could do that without breaking a sweat. Mainly because I don’t sweat.

Starlight cried out in agony as I pushed down on her head. She flailed at me, but even when she struck my legs, she might as well have been hitting a tree. I just pressed down on the side of her head harder as she shouted in agony, slowly increasing the pressure on her. Slowly.

“Wait—wait!” Starlight screamed as I pressed my hoof against her head. Her horn glowed and I felt my hoof pressing against a magical barrier. But that wasn’t enough. I ground my hoof down harder and the very earth cracked. Starlight’s magic failed as I pressed my hoof into her skull. She screamed louder, begging for me to stop. I didn’t. I was going to smash her head in.

Some of Starlight’s followers and even some Ponyville residents charged me and tried to pull me back. I let them push at me – they were weak as gnats.

“Rainbow Dash!” Twilight’s face was white with shock and fury as she faced me. “Let her go!”

Maybe it was the command. I was used to Twilight telling me and the other Elements what to do, but that had been when we were alive and fighting against evil. I’d always followed her because I trusted her and knew she was doing what I would do. But this was different. This was an order, and I disagreed with it.

Starlight choked and made incoherent noises of distress as I increased my pressure on her head. I could feel her soft skin giving way, and her head shifting around my hoof. If I killed her, the problem she posed would go away. She was too dangerous to let live in any case. If she could kill me, what might she do to my friends if she had the chance?

“Rainbow Dash!” At some point Twilight had mastered the Royal Canterlot Voice. Ponies around her flinched at the thunder of her words, but I didn’t even look at her. My attention was on Starlight. “Let her go! This isn’t right!”

Again, I ignored her. I know Twilight’s heart was in the right place and she was trying to be the good Princess that she was, but Starlight was dangerous. She’d refused Twilight’s offer and killed me—twice. True, you could say that killing me wasn’t like killing a normal pony, but she was a potential threat to my friends. And I wasn’t willing to take the risk of letting her live.

“Dash.” Fluttershy flew forwards, cutting Twilight off as she was about to shout again. My kind friend’s face looked into mine. “Starlight is dangerous, but she’s not a threat right now,” Fluttershy told me. “You were a Wonderbolt, once. You don’t kill.”

She was trying to appeal to my sense of reason, my honor, my past. But death removes all that. And though Fluttershy was right that Starlight wasn’t an immediate threat with her army broken, she couldn’t be allowed to try again. For all those watching, an example should be made. Must be made. They had to know what would happen if they threatened my friends. I looked Fluttershy in the eye and pressed harder.

Ponies pulled at me, trying to lift my hoof as Starlight screamed and screamed. I felt Twilight’s magic forming another barrier with Starlight’s own desperate magic, preventing my hoof from crushing her skull. But again, I just pressed harder. And the magic shield began to crack…

“Rainbow.”

A single voice. A bell of tone, a soft whisper in the meaningless noise. I faltered.

“Don’t do this.”

Rarity was behind me. I felt her presence, only a few feet away and straining ponies tried to pull me away. They were like dust. Only Rarity mattered. I could feel her eyes on me even as I stared at Twilight.

I hesitated. My leg was still on Starlight’s head and I could feel her skull breaking around my hoof. Just an inch more and she would be dead. I should kill her. I had to, in order to keep my friends safe. But—

“Rainbow. Please.”

Close your eyes and just do it. Your friends aren’t always right. I shifted, pressed with all my strength. The barrier was fracturing. But then I felt something zip past my ear. Well, through my ear in point of fact.

“Y’all heard the Princess. Step away.” Applejack’s loaded crossbow was aimed right at my head. “Do it. Or ah swear, this bolt’s going through your head.”

I’ve gotta say, that’s not the best threat to put to a dead pony. But it made me stop pressing down.

Everypony was silent as Applejack held her crossbow steady, sighting down it. She was ready to fire, I knew. But both she and I knew that even if she pulped my head, that wouldn’t do a single thing. Below me Starlight was whimpering incoherently, my friends staring at me. Still, I felt the need to finish her. It would make things so simple.

Silence. Deadlock. No pony moved. But then one did. A pink pony moved out of the crowd and gently pushed ponies aside until she was next to me. My friend.

“Dashie…” I sensed Pinkie put her hoof on my shoulder. I couldn’t feel it of course, but I knew it was there. “You know this isn’t right. You wouldn’t do this if you were alive.”

True. But the live me wasn’t all that smart, was she? I was torn.

“How about this?” Pinkie Pie’s voice was desperately cheerful in the tense silence. “Let Starlight go, and you can let Twilight take care of her, okay? And if she does anything bad again, you can come back. But don’t kill her. Not like this.”

I stopped pressing down as hard. But—but—I wanted to—how could I trust—?

“Dashie.” Pinkie leaned against me. “Can you trust me?”

Of course.

“Are we friends?”

Forever.

“Then please, trust me.”

I raised my hoof.

Below me, Starlight gasped and sobbed uncontrollably in relief. Pinkie hugged me, and I stepped away from Starlight. My face was as always impassive. But my soul…

I looked around. Ponies were surrounding me, hundreds, thousands of them. Starlight’s followers stared at me with horror and fear, having born witness to all that passed here. But they were unimportant. What my eyes sought were my friends, and what I saw broke my lifeless heart.

Fear. No, not that. If it were only that I could live with it. But in Twilight’s eyes, I saw…

Disappointment. And if Applejack’s eyes, only hatred. Fluttershy’s eyes were full of regret, Pinkie’s sadness. And Rarity?

She looked away from me. And I knew.

Silently, I pulled Pinkie’s hooves off of me. I looked at her once, and bowed my head. Then, I slowly began to walk away. My heart was filled with silence, the cold of death and the emptiness of feeling. But my soul still bled, my spirit still hurt.

I began to walk out of the battlefield. Ponies moved away from me as I walked towards them, parting in a wave rather than stand before me. I passed by Applejack who ignored me, unloading her crossbow. I walked past Fluttershy who was silent, and then by Twilight. Her eyes closed, and I saw moisture gathering. But as I stepped around her I heard her whisper. It was so quiet only I heard it.

“What happened to friendship?”

And I had no answer for her.

Rarity was last. I met her eyes as I passed. At first she looked down, but as I was right beside her she looked up. Just for a moment. But as our eyes met, there was something infinitely sad and hurt in her. She looked at me and I knew I was a different pony to her.

It was a long way before I exited the muddy, bloody battlefield full of churned earth and broken memories. It was not filled with bodies, though. Not a single pony had died on that day. But something had died there nonetheless.

Perhaps it was friendship. I don’t know. But as I disappeared from the earth, I knew that something had broken. And whatever it was, I had shattered it myself.

----

Time moves on. After that day I stayed in spirit form for a long time. I didn’t return to Equestria unless the need was dire, and accordingly, my friends stopped thrusting themselves into danger to summon me. Whatever bond we had – whatever trust I’d gained back after my death had been shattered once more by my actions.

No. Maybe not shattered. After all, they still called for me when the need was dire. Well, everyone but Applejack, that was. So maybe that didn’t hate me entirely. Maybe. But something had been hurt, and it was the bond I shared with my friends. They didn’t…trust me as much. And that was the greatest sin I could have committed.

Ironically though, my popularity with ponyfolk was at an all-time high in Equestria. Despite there being a lot of witnesses to me nearly crushing Starlight’s head like a grape, every pony who hadn’t seen me that day considered me a hero for saving Twilight and Ponyville from Starlight’s wicked attempt to steal Cutie Marks. I guess it proves you should never meet your heroes.

Especially not me.

Have I said I cared nothing for the affection of ponies that aren’t my friends? Well, it’s still true, but I admit I took refuge in their adoration of me while my friends lost faith in me. For the first time ever I started appearing to save ponies that weren’t my friends, staying long enough to hear their cries of gratitude before I disappeared.

Was it a shallow attempt to make myself feel better? Yes. Was it purely self-indulgence? Again, yes. And was it an attempt to make my friends like me again by helping other ponies? Of course. But it was all I could think to do. It reminded me a lot of the Mare Do Well case, actually. Only this time, the one thing I desired – the genuine affection of my friends rather than fleeting popularity – was the one thing I couldn’t regain. And that went double for my relationship with Rarity.

It wasn’t the straw that broke the camel’s back. It was more like a brick that hit the camel, but again, it was more that Rarity was just moving on. Whatever we had been in life, I had changed much in death and she had seen it. She spend more time with him, and started walking with him in the evenings, travelling to visit him in Canterlot or hosting him at her house in Ponyville.

To put it plainly, she fell in love.

But it wasn’t the love that had been between her and me. I remember how we first started, and it was a lot quicker and messy than this. We’d kept our affair secret, our passions sparking when we were alone. With her and him…it was more like she fell in love with him slowly, sharing parts of her life with him and he with her until they were so intertwined in each other that it became love.

Was it love, though? Part of me wants to say no, but that’s the same part of me that hated him from the start, just for being the object of her affection. He was everything I wasn’t. He was a knight, and she was his princess, and he supported her in life where I could only hurt her in death. He held her up in her weakness, and she was at his back pushing him on.

I couldn’t like it. I never liked it. Rarity and I, we never needed to lift each other up. We stood by each other’s side and what we felt for each other was unconditional. I like to think it was pure. But he had her heart on a string, so perhaps she loved him truly. And he was alive, and I was dead.

There was never any contest.

Nearly two years after my death, a year and ten months almost to the day in fact, he and Rarity got married. I don’t know if it was coincidence, Rarity choosing around that time, but I think she probably knew what she was doing. True, he was the one who proposed but let’s all be real here. Rarity’s a savvy enough manipulator that she could have got him to spring the question whenever she wanted. And when she did decide to get married, nothing could stand in her way.

He proposed to her, but that was about the extent of his involvement in the process. Within the hour he’d proposed to her, and after she’d swooned a bit, kissed him…she was up and about, planning her wedding. It would be in Ponyville, of course, and Twilight would marry them. Celestia and Cadence had been considered, but Rarity wanted her best friend to marry her. Luna hadn’t even been on the table, poor girl.

Naturally, there would be a full catering courtesy of the best restaurants in all of Equestria – Rarity had met a father and daughter named Saffron Masala and Coriander Cumin recently and she just had to put them on the list of caterers. The decorations would be overseen by Rarity, but of course Coco Pommel and Sassy Saddles would take care of all the preparations…

And so forth. I’ve fought monsters in the Everfree, duked it out with some of Equestria’s scariest monsters, and smashed my face into the ground doing aerial stunts more times than I can count. All the pain I felt from those events – if you took them and combined it into one agonizing wound and then multiplied it by…a lot – it wouldn’t even begin to equal the pain I felt seeing Rarity preparing for a wedding that wasn’t mine. It hurt so much. Because she was happy.

Everypony saw it. When Rarity broke the news to my friends they were over the moon. They hadn’t met him that often – honestly, I think they were just lukewarm in terms of how they felt about them, but they were happy because Rarity was happy. It had been a long time since she’d been so full of life, and everybody shared in her joy.

Everybody except for one pony. Well, actually, two ponies if you count me, but I don’t.

Funnily enough, the only pony to voice her complaints was Applejack. She didn’t like the groom any more than I did, but she was in a position to say so. Her reasoning was that he was too ‘hoity toity’, no offense to the real Hoity Toity, and that she thought Rarity was rushing into things.

And yes, I think she was. And I think she was doing it on purpose. In any case, Rarity got mad that Applejack didn’t like her husband-to-be, and the two of them fought bitterly before the wedding. In the end, Applejack nearly didn’t go, but Twilight and Pinkie Pie managed to get her to come. I guess it was a fit of pique that made her arrive dressed in Grave Warden armor, but that’s AJ for you.

The wedding. It took place on a perfectly beautiful day. I didn’t arrange it to be that way, but Fluttershy’s a Cloudsdale pony like me. She can kick a few clouds if she needs to, and she had every Wonderbolt not on duty help out. As for the ground scene, Pinkie Pie may have stopped bouncing as much as she used to, but she isn’t the Party Pony of Ponyville for nothing. Between her skill at making things fun, Rarity’s connections to every bigwig in Equestria for supplies and Twilight’s lists, they’d made a wedding that eclipsed even Shining Armor and Cadence’s wedding.

Oh, and they’d flown in Shining Armor, Cadence, and every pony of note in Equestria. All our friends had shown up, every being we’d ever met that wasn’t our arch-nemesis. Discord, Cheese Sandwich, Cherry Jubilee, that gay sea serpent (look, it’s totally obvious alright?), a reformed Iron Will and Gilda who’d hooked up, Trixie, Braeburn, Starlight Glimmer…

Heh. I guess that list was a bit surprising, right? I’ll break it down for you.

Yes, some of the folks that came to the wedding were friends like Braeburn and Cheese Sandwich. But Rarity had almost everypony we’d met come in, and you’d be surprised what time does to folks. For instance…Iron Will and Gilda. They were a couple. Yeah, didn’t see that one coming, did you? I was watching as a spirit as I saw them arrive and if I hadn’t been immaterial I’d have flown right into a tree. I mean, seriously?

Seriously. Turns out Gilda’s home in Griffonstone isn’t that great a place. In fact, I’d go as far as it call it a dump. The griffons lost some important stone a while back and ever since they’ve been selfish jerks who don’t care about anyone. I mean, I already knew that but…

I guess if I’d been alive and my friends and I had ever visited Griffonstone, we might have tried to help the griffons. As much as I hated Gilda for how she treated my friends, I gotta say, the hovels the griffons lived in made me feel pretty bad. But we never got around to it, what with me dying and the dead popping up. When that happened the griffons nearly got wiped out, as they were too disorganized and leaderless to put up any kind of defense.

Cue Iron Will showing up and giving them his new and improved confidence lessons. He might be a bit of a jerk, I’ve got say, while his self-improvement seminars suck, he’s great at making soldiers out of folks. Anyways, he pretty much saved Griffonstone by himself and when he met Gilda…

I guess the anatomy works out. What am I saying? It doesn’t make any kind of sense. But they were happy together and both of them were way politer and nicer than I’d ever seen them, so I was just happy to see both of them. And that’s just one example of how ponies had changed.

Trixie for example was actually a decorated war hero. Would you believe she was part of the Grey Wardens? Turns out her stage fireworks are great at blowing dead ponies up, so Trixie actually became really useful. True, she was still arrogant and full of herself, but at least she got the powerful part right.

Ponies change. Shining Armor and Cadence had a baby named Flurry Heart. Darned kid nearly destroyed the Crystal Empire by breaking the Crystal Heart, but a pony named Sunburst fixed it at the last moment and…

But I’m boring you, aren’t I? You don’t care about the guests, you want to know about Starlight Glimmer. Yeah, she was there too. Did I forget to mention what happened to her?

She became Twilight’s pupil. Long story, short answer. After I nearly killed her, Twilight took Starlight in just like Celestia had once taught her. It was a rocky start, but I guess Starlight was willing to learn or Twilight was just that good a teacher. By the time of the wedding she was still awkward and sort of rude, but she wasn’t stealing Cutie Marks, so that was a plus.

Am I rambling? I’m rambling. But I’m doing it on purpose so I don’t have to mention what comes next.

Rarity.

She was in the most amazing wedding dress that I ever…I mean, on that day she looked—and he was there but even when I felt—even though he was there she was…

No. I can’t describe it. I don’t even want to try. Let us just say that on the day of her wedding, Rarity shone like I’d never seen before. She was beautiful, radiant, splendid…beyond words. Even in death she moved me like no other, and I only wish it had been here standing beside her rather than him.

…I’ll skip all of the rest. Twilight married Rarity and him in the presence of every pony and there was much celebration. She tossed her bouquet and Applejack caught it. Very ironic, that. Every mare in attendance, a griffon and two alicorns were fighting hoof and claw to get it and the pony in full battle-armor snatches it out of midair. Mind you, I think Rarity tossed it that way. Why Applejack caught it, I’ll never know. Well, I do know but that’s…

He and Rarity descended the red carpet and walked to the carriage that would take them to the ritziest hotel in Canterlot. Naturally, the roads had been cleared by Grave Wardens in every direction for miles, but Spitfire had a squad of Wonderbolts ready to escort the newlyweds as well. They waved to all in attendance to wild applause. The world was perfect on this day. So perfect. She was perfect. And he was there, in my place.

And then I—

----

The wedded couple walked down the carpet to thunderous stomping and cheering. Everypony was shouting so loudly that deafness was a very real risk to the bride and groom. Fortunately, a few timely spells from Starlight and Twilight had averted potential disaster and both ponies were smiling fit to burst.

Rarity looked at her new husband, her eyes full of love. His face was wreathed in a large smile, and he stepped forward to open the door of their gilded carriage. And stopped.

Had he sensed it? The air around him was filled with vibrant joy, and every being celebrated life in the face of nearly two years of peril and uncertainty. But in the air was a cold spot. A dead spot. And though he was the first to feel it, the empty bubble spread across the entire wedding.

The air froze. The laughter died. The world stopped.

A blue pegasus stood in front of the wedding carriage. Her face was familiar to every pony present, and each recognized her as a different being. For some, she was an old friend. For others, she was a hero, a legend brought back to life. For still more though, she was a monster, a nightmare, or simply a mystery. And for one, she was a lover.

I looked up and spread my wings. The noise that had filled the air was completely gone now, and silence, unnatural silence was all that could be heard. He backed away from me, shaking in fear. But I had no eyes for him. I looked to his left, and my deathless heart ached at the sight of her.

Was she surprised? Was she afraid? No. She had expected me, I think. Maybe not consciously, but she alone out of every pony present didn’t seem surprised to see me. She looked up, and Rarity’s eyes met mine.

Silence. Stillness. Time slowed, stopped.

A thousand unspoken works passed between us. A thousand memories. There had been so much we dreamed of, so many promises broken. Even after all this time, I knew it was the same for her as for me.

If.

If only I hadn’t died. If only I had stayed that night.

If.

But there was something else in her eyes too. And it was rejection. She looked at me, and shook her head sadly. Once. Twice.

My heart broke. I had no heart in truth, merely dead flesh shaped to my will but it broke nonetheless. I bowed once, and took wing. I flew off in the silence, into the sky where I slowly evaporated back into dust.

On the ground, Rarity and her husband stood in place, staring at each other and the spot where I had been. He was nervous, and she…she was hurt. The other wedding guests were equally rattled, and it was some time before he and Rarity got in the carriage and went off to share their wedding night together. But the magic of the moment was lost. My appearance had cast a pall over the wedding, at least for one pony. Rarity seemed content, even at peace with herself as she entered the carriage, but he was still afraid.

As the newlyweds began their trip to their private suite at Manehatten’s fanciest hotel, he kept looking out the window to the sky where I had disappeared. Maybe it was just his disquiet at seeing me come back to life for the first time. Maybe he knew I had once loved Rarity. Either way, I had spoiled the magic of the night for him, at least. Rarity seemed like she was still ready to turn this moment into the best memory of her life, but he was disturbed, unhappy.

I felt pretty good about that.

----

Mind you, I felt less good on their wedding night. I didn’t look, per se, but I’m a ghost. Let’s just say my senses could pick up things I didn’t want to know, and leave it at that. True, I didn’t have to be with Rarity on that night of nights, but I wanted to. I wanted to be with her so badly that only by using all my willpower was I able to stop myself from appearing and battering down their hotel door with my hooves. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t do anything because I was dead.

And he was alive, and he made her happy. Damn him, but he did. He made her happy, and I hated him more than I had hated any pony for it. And on that night she was happy with him, not me.

But was he happy with her?

My appearance at the wedding had been what fancy ponies call a faux paus. I think. I’m not good with fancy words, but I know it was bad. If I had been alive, I know I would have felt guilty, but I was dead so I didn’t feel anything at all. Just hurt. And though I had bade farewell to Rarity in my own way, my appearance had had another effect, mainly on him.

I’d scared the horseapples out of him.

How had he never seen me when I reincarnated myself into flesh and blood? Well, quite simply I had avoided him. I didn’t like him, ergo I didn’t appear around him. And of all my friends, Rarity never ventured out into dangerous territory. She always stayed behind the walls of the city, so it was no wonder he’d never seen me. Oh, I suppose he’d heard of me, but despite my fame, many ponies still thought I was a myth, a story meant to comfort young ponies.

Well, I’d proven my existence to him, and on his wedding day no less. And for all I disliked him, he was no idiot. He could put two and two together, and he figured out pretty quick that I had loved Rarity and she had loved me. When he asked Rarity about it she was open about our past, a sorrowful memory that she kept in her heart.

And he hated that.

It was the first fight they ever had, about a week after their wedding. He had kept the thoughts stewing in his mind until they burst out like rotten grapes and she hadn’t expected a thing. Rarity was outraged that he was jealous of me, and outraged at the thought that she might be unfaithful to him. Sarcastically, in that wonderful way of hers she pointed out to him that I was dead and he was alive, and moreover she had chosen him. It was a bitter fight that ended with him apologizing and a rather cold bed between them that night. I loved every minute of it.

I loved less the fact that it made Rarity unhappy. After that day strife entered their marriage, not to put a fine point on it. While she was close to him and affectionate, it was he who drew away from her. In suspicion of her? Not quite. More like…fear of me. Fear, and jealously.

I guess some stallions don’t like being second. Mares are like that too, but stallions really don’t like when they think they’re not the one love of their special somepony. So I’ve heard, that is. I didn’t date more than—any stallions, so I wouldn’t know. Of course.

He was suspicious of her. After a month of love mixed with a few nasty spats, he started getting antsy whenever she came home late. If she had a special appointment or she had to run an errand, he would accuse her of seeing somepony else. And while he never said it was me, I was clearly always in his thoughts.

Rarity bore it well. She loved him, and she had married him after all. But this was a new side of him that she’d never seen before. I think if I’d been another stallion he might not have been so worked up, but the main part of it was that I was dead, and he couldn’t work his head around it. Unlike my friends, he was an ordinary pony who didn’t experience magic and strange things like Rarity had. He had looked into my eyes and it had disturbed his soul.

They fought. I grew to like him less than I had already, if that were possible. And I do admit, I regretted—just a bit, causing strife in their marriage.

Rarity grew less happy as the days wore on. She got thinner, more tired. Bags I hadn’t seen before appeared under her eyes, and her always immaculate appearance got…less so as time went by. I daresay you wouldn’t have noticed unless you were one of her friends, but both Coco Pommel and Sassy Saddles expressed their concerns to Rarity, as she seldom visited Ponyville anymore. At his insistence. But Rarity put a good face on it, and told them not to worry so they could only write to Twilight who in turn wrote to Rarity and caused more fights when he read the letters behind her back.

And so it continued, with me loving and hating the situation and hating myself for loving it. But I hoped she would break up with him, so I let it continue without trying to appear and interfere again.

I am damned for my sins.

----

It was after another one of their fights that I decided to go elsewhere that day. They had fought the night previously but as always, made up in bed as well. I hadn’t watched. It had hurt me, to see them embrace each other even with the awkwardness between them, so instead of watching over Rarity I had decided to devote my attention elsewhere the next day.

I was with Fluttershy, watching over her as she negotiated with a Diamond Dog pack that had been raiding villages near the Smokey Mountains. I didn’t need to be with her of course, but I didn’t want to be around Rarity, to see her and him together.

I’d seen them play out their fights and knew that in the wake of their last disagreement they’d be avoiding each other and having awkward conversations until Rarity initiated a night of reconciliation and…instead, I spent that night listening to Fluttershy talk down the Diamond Dogs and negotiate terms with their tribe. I thought that was better than tearing my heart in two watching over Rarity while she was safe within the walls of Manehatten.

What a fool I was. If I could have gone back in time, I would have. If I had to see every intimate moment they shared, every way she looked at him with that helpless love in her eyes I would. Of course I would. If I could have stopped—

He went out early in the day and came back very late. In fact, he’d missed dinner which was already the start of a major fight. But this time he’d been out drinking.

Hard apple cider. Applejack doesn’t make it. She prefers to make her cider only a little alcoholic so the fillies and colts can drink it. Mind you, it can still pack a punch if you drink as much as Pinkie does, but the really strong stuff is generally rare. I’m not sure how he found some in Manehatten, but there are always places willing to sell the stuff.

He was no drinker in any case. It took only one jug before he was drunk, and when he staggered in he in the midst of his stupor. But it made him reckless, and angrier than usual. So when Rarity started shouting he shouted back. And unlike the other fights, he wasn’t able to listen to reason. When she denied his claims of her cheating on him, he started insulting me. And maybe he didn’t notice the danger in that, or maybe Rarity had just had enough.

I don’t know when she threw the vase. I’m sure it didn’t take too long; Rarity’s always been hot blooded. But when she hit him, he bled. And with the cider in his veins, he hit her back. And when she cried out he hit her again, and again until she stopped. And then he fled as she lay bleeding on the floor of their home.

How long was she lying there? How long did it take before I arrived, smashing through her doorway to lift her up in my hooves and carry her to the hospital? I don’t know. The night was long, and I had been with Fluttershy for most of it. Minutes? Hours? All I know is that the blood from her temple hadn’t stopped flowing when I arrived, and that she was still conscious enough to call his name as they wheeled her into surgery.

I got her there as fast as possible. As fast as I could fly without hitting a Sonic Deathboom. I couldn’t risk that kind of speed on her body. As it was, I flew so fast I was at the hospital in seconds. Those damn nurses and other ponies freaked out when they saw it was me, but I grabbed a doctor and got him to help her. I would have grabbed the entire staff, flown across Equestria to get the best doctors. But they were here, and I was helpless. I could only watch as they tried to save her life.

I stayed with her, of course. After I flew her into the Manehatten Hospital, I stayed by her side even when the doctors were operating on her. I’m sure they would have ordered me out of the room if I’d been anyone else, but I couldn’t be moved. I had my hoof in mine and she was squeezing it—

Her skull was broken. I’m not an expert, but I’ve seen plenty of injuries from flying. Heck, I’ve been injured many times myself. But this – this was different. There were bits of bone in her head near Rarity’s brain from where he’d…hit her. If the doctors couldn’t remove them safely, she would die. And I would cease to be.

How long? How many hours did I stand next to her, holding her hoof in mine? I don’t know. The night faded away, and dawn emerged as doctors and nurses fought a battle against time and death. And I was helpless. For once, this wasn’t a battle I could fight. I could only watch as her breath faded, as the blood dripped on the flood of the operating room and she began to leave me.

Did a small part of me hope for it? Did I wonder if I could pull her away with me if she died, make her join me in the afterlife? Certainly those dark thoughts whispered in my head from time to time. But on that night even my darkest dreams were silent. All of my being was focused on her.

And sometime during the day, when the last medical doctor staggered away, gaunt and red-eyed with exhaustion, she slept. I stood by her side and listened as a nurse finally ran to tell somepony of Rarity’s attack and her current condition. The medical staff, heroes I could never repay, hadn’t even had time to send word to Princess Celestia or anypony else. But they had finished their work, and won. She slept. She would live.

I stood there in that room, staring at her sleeping face as long as I dared. I studied the stiches around her brow, the scars that might heal but would never vanish, marring her perfect beauty. I looked at her expression, the look of fear, sadness, and loss that was still etched upon her face in parts. And I bent down and brushed my lips against hers.

Once.

Then I turned, and walked out of the room. I left the hospital in disarray, walked through the streets as my corpse began to turn to ash again. I entered the spirit world and flew away, leaving the love of my life behind to wake to an empty room and broken heart.

And then I went after him.