Have you noticed your friends acting strange lately? Do not panic! It is obvious they have fallen victim to mind control, a tool the princesses utilize to keep “order”! If you believe your friend's mind has been seized by outside sources, look for these symptons.

1. Laughter

If your friend is laughing and smiling quite frequently, they are obviously trying to lull you into a false sense of security! If you're not careful, you will wake up bound and gagged in a chair with a needle sticking out of your back!

2. Generosity

Is your friend being oddly generous? Offering you snacks, drinks, or gifts? Do not accept anything they give you! If they give you food, spit it out at once! If they give you a gift, smash it into pieces immediately! It is either a concealed amnesiac or a powerful drug meant to soften your mind!

3. Intimacy

Is your friend acting unusually intimate? Getting closer to you, trying to kiss you, etc.? Expressing sudden feelings of romantic or sexual desire? Distance yourself from them at once! Sex is one of the many tools Princess Celestia's loyal agents use to silence and manipulate the masses! One minute you're in bed, the next minute you're having your kidneys removed! If your friend makes any sort of advance, your only choice is to knock them out with a strong kick or magic blast to the head!

Does your friend display any of these symptoms? If they do, your only real course of action is to take care of the problem yourself! Fortunately, there is one fool-proof way to take care of it: Lyra's Patented Anti-Mind Control Ritual (TM)!

Step 1: Separate the subject from others! Tell them you're throwing them a surprise party. Then, when they walk through the door, subdue them and drag them down to your basement!

Step 2: Mix up a batch of Lyra's Equally Patented Anti-Mind Control Liquid (TM)! (Recipe below)

Sour cream
Dog food
Carrots (chopped)
Red wine (vintage)

Step 3: Pour the mixture into a marble tub.

Step 4: Dump your friend into the tub! If they can't swim, simply pour the mixture over them!

If you've done everything correctly, your friend should thank you! However, there is a chance you will fail and your friend will remain in their sorry state. If this happens, they will most likely flee, threatening to call the Royal Guards! If this occurs, follow these steps:

Step 1: Burn down your house

Step 2: Change your name

Step 3: Leave town and live in a cave

By now you're probably wondering: How can I prevent myself from being mind-controlled? Fortunately, it's as simple as following these tips below! If you follow every single one, you are guaranteed to be in control of your own mind at all times!

1. Always wear a straw hat! Its been proven that magic, especially mind control magic, cannot enter your brain through the material of a straw hat!

2. Always carry a pet rabbit! Rabbits are known to ward off all sorts of enchantments!

3. Practice safe sex! Remember to always wear full body armor while having relations!

4. Never eat sweets! Cupcakes, cake, brownies, and other such delectable treats have been found to be laced with potent mind control drugs! For safety, stick to a diet of peas, carrots, and oregano.

But what if you think you're being mind controlled right now? That's easy! Wine is one of only two other beverages known to combat mind control! If somepony has taken control of your brain, two bottles of wine will break the spell! Remember, the wine must be drunk in one sitting and straight from the bottle!

How do you know you're being mind-controlled? If you have to ask this question, it's already too late!