Dear Princess Celestia,

The page was filled with crossed out words and tear stains making it difficult for Celestia to read, but that didn't matter. She knew every single word off by heart and could recite it backwards if necessary. How many of those tears were from her, and how many came from Twilight though, was a question that she had no answer to and one that she didn’t want to answer. How many times had the eternal alicorn read that letter? Ten? Fifty? One hundred? Yet another question to which an answer was possible. All that she knew was that it was the tenth duplicate she had to create with magic. Thankfully, the original was safely tucked away to make sure it would last until she could put an enchantment spell on it to keep it from being damaged.

Though she had viewed the memory crystal, Celestia still couldn't think of Twilight in any other way than as her most faithful. All the things that she had gone through, all the things she had suffered – it was amazing she didn't break entirely. Though she had become a tad obsessive at the end of her life, everypony needs something to believe in and though her faith was misplaced it was... endearing in an odd sort of way.

If you are reading this, then it means you have returned to Equestria safe and sound, whether that was by the actions I took or by the defeat of Nightmare Moon or some equally impossible task, it matters not. The only thing that matters is that you have returned and with your guiding hoof, I have no doubt in my mind that everything will turn out fine.

Of course, it also means that I am dead.

“Oh, Twilight…”

Leaning down, Celestia rubbed her tear stained cheek against it, not caring if she got ink on her. With her eyes closed, she liked to think that she could still smell Twilight’s scent on the page despite it being a copy and when she read it aloud to herself at night, she did so in slightly higher pitched voice. It almost felt as though her most faithful was right there in the room, delivering the report in person.

She couldn’t even offer Twilight a proper burial or even a statue. From what everypony had said, it’d immediately be defaced, destroyed and vandalized. Instead, Celestia had been forced to leave Twilight’s body on the battlefield before sneaking back in the middle of the night to take it away. By that time though, her perfect purple coat had been marred by spit, blood and scavengers. That was the first time any pony had seen their ruler break down and sob her eyes out like a little foal. None of them said anything though, instead she, alongside the Bearers of Harmony (though Trixie was strangely absent), Shining Armor and Cadence worked through the night to give her a private burial.

Princess, please don’t cry, please don’t mourn my passing. I am not a good pony, maybe I was, at some stage in my life, but not anymore. I have done things, terrible things in your name and I no longer deserve to be your faithful student. In fact, the only thing I should be called anymore is ‘monster’ for that is what I am. I am a monster.

I’ve killed and tortured ponies without a second thought. There was no hesitation, no second guessing myself – I happily killed them in cold blood. Even now, I cannot in all honesty say that I regret my actions even a little bit. As far as I’m concerned, everything I did was justified, ethical and ultimately, the right thing to do. I will not pretend that regretting my actions will somehow make me a better mare or less of a monster, for every life lost is a tragedy and no justification will ever change that. If you don’t believe me, I suggest you read the diary I gave Nightwish. The crystal contained within has a copy of my memories without any alterations, and from it you will be able to see just how far I am swimming in sin.

Just the thought of that night bought fresh tears to Celestia’s eyes. With her head buried in her pillow to muffle the sounds, the regal goddess cried once more.

So Princess, please save your tears to a more worthy pony. Save your tears for all those who have lost their life these past months. I don’t deserve your tears. A monster does not deserve the sympathy of a goddess.

There was a polite knock on the door.

“Princess?” called Shining Armor through the door. “You wished to be informed once Applejack has finished vetting all the newcomers.”

Sniffling softly, Celestia forced all her emotions into the back of her mind and cast a simple spell to clean up her appearance. After a deep breath to compose herself, she opened the door and trotted out with all the grace expected from her. Simply nodding to her guards, she walked through the stone walls with her head held high, and it took all her willpower to not smite those who commented on the rumors of Twilight being killed by Celestia herself. After all, who hadn't heard the story by now?

Twilight Sparkle, in her insanity, had tried to control the ultimate source of magical power – the sun – something even Nightmare Moon was hesitant touch and for her hubris, she had been burnt from the inside out. More than that though, her transgression had managed to awaken Princess Celestia from petrified state (some version had her in an enchanted sleep) and she came back to Equestria on wings of righteous fury just in time to impart some final words to her former student. Words, that ended Twilight's life.

Celestia wanted to travel in time to murder whoever began that rumor.

“It seems I don’t even need to play my hoof,” whispered Celestia sadly. “I am sorry, my most faithful. I am so very sorry. I wish I could save you both."

"Princess? Did you say something?"

"Nothing at all my faithful captain." Giving Shining Armor a reassuring smile, Celestia stepped into the conference room and immediately, all the ponies stopped speaking and bowed as well. With a soft sigh, she took her place at the head of the makeshift table. Twilight never bowed to her like that, she always came up for a hug and nuzzle – whenever Twilight was around, the eternal alicorn felt loved and wanted and alive. Twilight knew the pony under the crown and loved Celestia for who she was rather than what she had done or what she was.

But that is not the reason I am writing to you today. Instead, I wish to speak to you about your sister, Princess Luna. First of all, she is still alive and trapped within her own mind. Despite researching the Elements of Harmony, I have not been able to locate a definitive answer as to whether or not they could purge the Nightmare from Luna. However, if Applejack has indeed managed to glimpse alternative timelines, then the evidence seems to suggest that it is indeed possible. Ultimately, the decision will be up to you.

"So what's the plan so far?" asked Celestia into the silence.

"We were hoping you'd tell us Princess. We've never fought an immortal alicorn before and our knowledge of the Elements of Harmony is limited," replied Nightwish. From the way the others reacted to his input, it was obvious they were still uneasy with him being on the team.

And that was another thing Celestia missed. Twilight would not have sat around drawing circles in the dirt while she waited for Celestia to come up with a plan. No, she would have gone out, collected data, read some books, figured out multiple plausible avenues of attack while she waited and then before Celestia had even taken a single step, Twilight would have begun going through each one in detail. Her faithful Twilight would not have wasted the past couple of hours that was for certain.

“We end this. Tonight,” stated Princess Celestia. “I’ll keep the part of Nightmare Moon’s powers occupied while the Bears of Harmony slip into Canterlot and take her out.”

More importantly though, we need to discuss what happens once Luna is freed from the Nightmare’s grasp. There is little doubt in my mind that the general populace will look down upon your sister with distrust and anger, and considering what caused her to become Nightmare Moon in the first place, this is obviously not an acceptable future for the co-ruler of Equestria. Instead, I would like to suggest an alternative option for you to take and though I know you will vehemently disagree with me, I would like to ask you to reserve judgment until you have finished reading.

“But what about the citizens? The collateral damage from fighting within Canterlot would be…” Shining Armor trailed off as he tried to come out with an appropriate description.

“Canterlot is being evacuated as we speak,” replied Celestia. “If you had spies posted there, you would know this. Trust me, I know Nightmare Moon for I have fought her in the past and she has not changed in the past one thousand years. She will be evacuating Canterlot because she knows we will be making our move. You all wish to think of her as some evil dictator who hates all ponies and wants to rule with an iron fist, and while there may be some truth in there somewhere, Nightmare Moon would actually rather just be a ruler who listens to the public and makes informed decisions. In fact, she would be as great of a ruler as I – minus the eternal night of course.”

For a brief moment, silence filled the room. Every single creature looked at her as though she was insane, but the alricorn merely smiled at their reaction. They had been trapped into thinking Nightmare Moon was nothing, but a monster and totally willing to throw away pony lives as though it meant nothing, but the truth was, apart from eternal night, Nightmare Moon was a great of a leader as Celestia. After all, she was part Luna and her sister did keep the nation afloat more than once when a crisis occurred.

It was also never her intention to semi-rant at them all, but once she got started it just all came tumbling out. Taking a deep breath, she forced those emotions back away and began speaking in a much calmer tone of voice, “Here is the plan. I will engage the Nightmare in battle within the Spirit Realm thus distracting her and keeping part of her powers neutralized. During that time, the Bearers of Harmony will infiltrate Canterlot and make their way into the castle to defeat the Nightmare. Nightwish, you assemble and lead an infantry company to act as a distraction and Shining Armor, you will form a platoon of volunteers to help the Bearers reach the Nightmare. While we can’t teleport into the castle, we can reach the front gates without any issues. Knowing her, she’ll be awaiting in the throne room – she always did have a soft spot for theatrics. Any objections?”

Rather than wait to see if anypony did want to say something, Celestia simply turned around and began walking towards the door. “Good. Meeting adjourned.”

“Wait,” cried Rainbow Dash. “What about the rumors? Aren’t you going to do anything about them?”

Of course, who else would bring up the subject of the rumors if not the Bearer of Loyalty? With a sigh, Celestia merely remarked over her shoulder, “The rumors will continue without obstruction. If I hear any of you trying to stop them with force, I will be very cross.”

I want you to make into a monster.

“What the buck! She saved your royal flank and now you’re just going to toss her to the parasprites!?” Power radiated from the enraged pegasus, lashing out and setting the table on fire. “She was loyal to you – beyond loyal and this is how you treat her memory? I should bucking send you back to the sun!”

Though all were shocked at Dash’s explosion, none of them told her to shut up or sit down. In fact, some were even nodding their heads in agreement, but what did they know? Nothing, that’s what. All they could see was the short term and even that was blinded by their rage and sorrow. Did they truly believe she didn’t care about Twilight? That she wanted her most faithful to be forever remembered as a monster with no morals? Even after viewing her memories multiple times, Celestia could not bring herself to think of Twilight in such a manner despite all the gruesome crimes that had been committed in her name. For as long as she lived, Twilight would always be that proud and intellectual mare with no equal, who held an adorkableness that made Celestia smile. Twilight Sparkle would never be a monster in her eyes.

This may sound contrary to what I said above, but please listen to me. If Luna is to get off and lead a normal life (for an alicorn and Princess that is), then Equestria will need a scapegoat. A pony that they can all blame for the misfortune that has happened recently. Out of all the ponies that exist, the only one who can adequately achieve that status is me. I was present at all the major confrontations, I was/am viewed as a monster and I am exceptionally powerful. A simple tale about a corrupt unicorn secretly gaining access to forbidden magic will be adequate in my opinion. I know you will not wish to sully my name and to drag it through the mud, but think about your sister. She is alive whereas I am not. Please Princess, do this one last thing for me – let me go down in history as a monster. This will be my final act of redemption, my final gift to you and your sister. Please Princess, I am begging you. Luna… I’ve talked to her, Princess and she deserves so much better than what she has now. She deserves to come back to Equestria and to be loved by everypony the same way you are. Please, give me this, give me this final act so I can at least rest easy knowing I’ve done something right. Done something to help out a friend.

Without even a word, the while alicorn teleported out of the room so that nopony would have the see the tears staining her cheek. Reappearing on a ledge well up on the mountain range, she gazed out at the sun that hung just two inches above the horizon and at that sight, fresh tears appeared. She had thought that she had already cried them all, but everytime she thought that, she would be proven wrong. There’d always be that one thing that managed to set her off again and this time, it was the sun. Her sun.

No.

Their sun.

So many times ponies had asked her to move the sun to the center of the sky so that it could truly bask Equestria in its warmth. Every time though, she had refused by saying it was symbolic of the new dawn that was coming. The truth was though, that was how far Twilight managed to raise the sun before she finally died. It was the last remnants of her legacy and for as long as possible, Celestia planned on keeping it there as a monument to what her most faithful had accomplished and could accomplish.

More than that though, whenever the Princess gazed upon the eternal twilight that encompassed the land, she could see Twilight. She could see and feel Twilight Sparkle as though her most faithful was sitting right next to her, huddled for warmth under her soft wings as they gazed out at the country while discussing whatever random subject just happened to pop up. In this land of eternal dawn, Celestia could sense Twilight everywhere and it filled her with a sense of calmness and sadness. As long as the sun stayed where it was, everything would be alright.

And you knew didn’t you? You knew Nightmare Moon would return and that I would have to make friends in order to win. You knew all that and you refused to tell me, instead you gambled with your life, with Equestria and with the whole world. I wish I could hate you for that, but I will never be able to. I love you too much to hate you. Instead, I want to thank you. For everything. Thank you Princess… Celestia… thank you so very much. As short as my life will be and as bad as it has been these last couple of months, I thank you.

She wasn’t sure how long she sat there, just gazing out at the Everyfree Forest and Canterlot Castle off in the distance while remembering the early mornings and late nights they had shared together. How she missed those nights where she could be who she was rather than what she was.

But how long would she be able to keep those memories? How long before they were lost to the flow of time? She wanted to remember that purple filly for the rest of her eternal life without the aid of some memory spell, but she knew that was impossible. In the end, Twilight would fade away until she was nothing more than a blurred face and forgotten voice.

There’s so much I want to write, so much I need to write, to tell you, but there’s no time. Even now, Nightwish is getting antsy with his constant pacing around and every second I take, is another second a pony could die. This nightmare has gone on long enough and tonight, I’m going to bring you back even if that results in my death. I love you Princess, I love you like you were my mother and I miss you so much.

“So this is where you ran off to.” Cadence sat down next to Celestia on the snow covered ledge. “When you didn’t come back after an hour, they began panicking.”

“Has it already been so long? I must have lost track of time.”

“Please auntie, I know you miss her, but you can’t keep going on like this. You’ve got to stop sulking.”

“You don’t understand,” mumbled Celestia like an impudent foal.

“Don’t I? I did foal sit her for the majority of my teenage years and I do consider her a little sister. Yet you don’t seem me sulking away in my room and running away from my job. Look at Shining, he’s doing his duty with the same dedication as always.”

“And so you’ve come to talk some sense into your old aunt?”

“Yes. We need you, Equestria needs you. Please Aunt Celly…”

“I am focused,” growled Celestia, “and I am thinking perfectly straight. You have nothing to worry about at all.”

“That’s not true! Just look at where you are! You’re hiding away from your responsibilities and not leading the nation!”

“What, can’t I have some time to myself?” snapped Celestia.

“You’re the Princess. You have a job to do,” Cadence hissed in reply. “You need to get over Twilight’s death and start being the leader we need. Everypony has lost some pony close to them! You. Are. Not. Unique!”

“Get out of my sight.”

Cadence scrambled back as the snow around Celestia sublimated and as the heat scorched her fur.

“Leave!” screamed Celestia in her Royal Canterlot Voice and the pink alicorn quickly vanished in a flash of light.

Before I end this letter though, I wish to give you one final report. One last lesson I have learnt, even if it took me far too long to finally grasp it.

Crumbling to the ground, Celestia closed her eyes, but for once no more tears would come out. Nopony understood, nopony other than Twilight Sparkle could ever understand what it meant to be eternal. And now… now she was gone, taken before her time in order to bring Celestia back. In the end, it was her fault – everything was her fault. If only she had told Twilight the entire truth then none of this would have happened and ultimately, Twilight had killed herself to free Celestia. It was all her fault, everything was her fault.

Dear Princess Celestia,

When you first sent me to Ponyville, I didn't know anything about friendship, in fact I felt it was rather silly for I had my books to read and didn’t know that I would ever need other ponies to make my life complete. But now… now I realize friendship is indeed magic. With it, the Bearers of Harmony have done the impossible by opposing Nightmare Moon and succeeding thus far. Though they might not have been the best of friends and may not have been there all the time for each other, they have come through the harrowing journey far more sane than I have and perhaps if I had kept in contact with your sister, I too, would have stayed sane. But that is neither here nor there. My only regret is that it took me so long to realize the truth behind everything. Thank you Princess, for being so patient with me.

Faithfully yours,

Twilight Sparkle

She was the reason why Twilight Sparkled had died.