It's a wonderful day in Canterlot. The air is clear, the sun is high and bright in the sky, and the two royal sisters are up and about performing their royal duties. Celestia, the great and powerful sun god, has yet to see Luna's mate up and moving. Thus, she decides to take it upon herself to see what is keeping him

She enters the human's chambers to find his form still in bed, laying face down with his head buried in pillows. She finds the sight rather funny. The mare walks over, gingerly placing a hand on his back and giving him a few gentle shoves. "Good morning, sunshine. It's time to wake up." She says with in a tone so warm it could melt even the coldest of hearts.

"Fuck. Off. Sunbutt."

Eat a dick, a big bag of dicks

Well, maybe not the coldest.

Celestia couldn't help but giggle at his behavior. She wasn't too fond of the nickname he had given her, but was getting used to it rather quickly. She gives him a couple more shoves. "Come on, it's a beautiful day out. You shouldn't stay in bed and miss out on it."

He groans slightly, clearly not being even the slightest bit willing to cooperate. "Fuck the sun and fuck you. Leave me alone."

Fine, if he was going to play this game she could play it right back. Her horn lights up as she grabs the blanket with her magic and pulls it off of the bed, tossing it onto the floor. "Now don't be so..." Her train of thought comes to a grinding halt as she looks down at his completely naked form. She instantly remembers the story Twilight had told her back when Ryan had fallen ill.

The sun goddess could do nothing but stare down at the human as he remained still in his bed. "I hope you like what you see, just remember though; That ass, your sister's tapping it."

You're an idiot.

Luna makes her way over to her mate's room. She noticed that she hadn't seen him at all this morning and was starting to worry. Her bond with him was enough to tell her that he was safe, but she couldn't help but get anxious when he wasn't around. When she makes it to the door and is about to turn the nob she hears something akin to a loud smack come from the inside of the room, which was quickly followed by a yelp.

Her ears fold back at this, she didn't know what to expect when she opened the door. What she found was her sister standing on one side of Ryan's bed, while Ryan himself was on the floor on the opposite side. He was completely naked and rolling around in, what looks like, pain. Her face turned a rather deep shade of red at this. "Sister...Ryan...what are you doing?"

Celestia looks over to her sister, but before she could answer, the human on the other side pipes up. "She smacked me on the ass!" The two sisters do there best to stifle a boisterous laughter. "You could have at least used the whip, that's what it's here for!"

They go silent, both turning a dark shade of crimson at his words. The same thought runs through their minds. Does he really have a whip...and what does he use it for? Better yet; what's he planning to use it for?

Ryan got up on to his feet, clearly not caring that he was standing completely nude in front of the two princesses. He positions his body so that he can look at his behind, quickly spotting a large red hand print where he had been struck.

Damn, that bitch can really leave a mark. I wonder how much practice it took to get that down.

Ryan's mouth immediately follows suit with his mind's thoughts. "Who's ass have you been smacking to-" He sees her face darken further. "You know what, I don't wanna know." He places a hand on his sore cheek and rubs it slightly. "Damn, never thought anything would match rubbing Bengay on my nuts."

Dude, it felt like our skin was melting off!

He shudders slightly at the thought. It was funny when his family and his friend did it, but when he tried it..."Never again."

Ryan walks over to his closet and pulls out a clean pair of clothes. The thought of rubbing sand paper across his phallus comes to mind. The pain it would cause, a slight burning sensation if some of it managed to enter through the tip.

Why are you thinking about this!? Stop!

Honestly, he had no idea why that thought came to mind. It just kind of did. It was weird. He wonders if maybe he has some weird fetish for pain. He's never been one for masochism, one incident almost led to him getting stabbed. She said she was missing intentionally, but he wasn't convinced. That bitch was the sole reason he no longer allowed knives on his bed.

...You...your thoughts are going a little bit of everywhere...You feeling alright?

Ryan shrugged, his mind has always been this way. It settled down a bit after he got here and met Luna, but after a while it returned back to its usual state. He wasn't complaining, he actually kind of missed the chaos. It's what made him one of the funniest people in his group of friends.

Once he is done getting dressed he turned around and watched as both princesses shoot their heads up towards the the cieling to make it look like they hadn't been watching him the whole time. "What the hell are you two still doing in here? Don't y'all got a country to run? Go on, git!" He says in his best southern accent.

The sisters nod and take off out the door. He really didn't mind Luna staying a bit longer, but Celestia had to go. He'd have asked for just Celestia to leave, but that would lead to a future of nonstop teasing, then him retorting, then her likely throwing him into a wall...again.

Ryan thought about getting breakfast, but eating shortly after waking up would upset his stomach in ways that shouldn't be possible. The last time he made that mistake had had to call his brother and ask him to retrieve a plumber, a plunger, a priest, and a rabbi; no questions asked!

I still blame the soy sauce.

The day went on rather peacefully, which actually sucked. Nothing ever happened here! He would hear about this place called Ponyville which would receive all kinds of action; Timber wolves, manticores, a big ugly fuck named Tirek. He was missing out being here! So, who better to visit than the master of chaos himself.

Ryan found the door he was looking for and pounds on it three times. He could hear music on the other side before a voice spoke up over the volume of the beat. "Come in!~" The voice almost sang.

He opened the door to find Discord sitting at a small table with his feet resting on it, the song still playing as he entered.

"Discord! I'm howling at the moon

and sleeping in the middle of a summer afternoon.

Discord! What ever did we do,

to make you take our world away?"

"What the hell are you listening to?" Ryan asked before the music finally cut off.

"Oh, it's nothing. Just a little song I found while playing around in a few different dimensions." Discord lowers his feet and straightens his posture. "So what brings you to my chambers; back for a little more magic fiddling?" Just as he says that a fiddle appears in his hands and he plays a small tune.

When Ryan had first met Discord, they ran around playing all kinds of tricks with his magic. He could only assume that the whole fiddle thing was a play on words and he's just having fun with it. "Actually, I was just bored out of my mind. Luna's busy working, so I really have nothing to do."

"Well, I could think of a few things." Discord snaps his fingers. The fiddle vanishes and an array of fancy looking glass bottles filled with different shades of liquid appear on the table. "How about a friendly drinking game, I know how long it's been since you've had a hard drink and I can tell you're practically itching for one."

This guy can read us like a book...I DON'T LIKE IT!!!

Despite how weird it was that Discord knew Ryan was a drinker without him ever bringing it up, he was right. Since he had come here he hadn't had a solid drink. He even made a few attempts at sneaking into the kitchen to find something fun. There was a bar at the club, but they wouldn't serve to him because he was under twenty-one. Damn age restrictions laws existed here too!

Yes, the times here are different, which is why the bar tender, while looking at his license, asked what year it was back in his world.

You could have just lied!

Ryan mentally smacked himself for not thinking of that, but then again he didn't know if the laws here were different. Fuck it, he's wasted too much time dwelling on the thought. He walked over and took a seat on the opposite side of the table. "Sounds like fun. Let's get started."

Unbeknownst to the human, Discord only drinks for fun. However, he was completely immune to alcohol's effects. Basically meaning he could down a barrel full of vodka and not even be the slightest bit tipsy. He was doing this for fun, to see how the human would react. One thing was for sure in the god of chaos' mind; this was going to be an interesting day.

Seeing how nothing ever really happened at Night Court, Luna and Celestia agreed to work together and just have a Day Court in which both princesses were present. It definitely made the work allot less taxing on Celestia and she was happy to have more time with her sister in the process. Between cases they would talk about whatever came to their minds and even discuss Luna's relationship.

The Court was finally coming to an end, allowing the sisters to finish up some of the paperwork they had received while Celestia continues to tease Luna about her new relationship.

Celestia raised her brow at her younger sister, wearing a rather annoying smile on her muzzle. "So, just how intimate have you two gotten since being together?"

"Tia!" Luna shouted, slightly embarrassed at the question. "Ryan and I have done nothing of the sort. Regardless, I don't see how it's any of your business."

She laughed at her sister's response. She was simply too easy to provoke and she found it absolutely adorable. "Really? That's not what I saw last time you were in heat."

Luna buried her face in her hands, her face flushed a bright shade of red. Maybe combining their court sessions wasn't such a good idea. "That was different. I had no control over myself. It was your fault anyway, you should have told him!"

She was right about that, she should have told him. In all honesty though, it was a complete misunderstanding. Ryan had told her that the women where he came from went through something similar and seemed like he knew how to handle it. Turns out humans go through something completely different. However, she wasn't going to let her sister win this argument. "Maybe I wanted him to go in there; maybe I thought it would be funny to watch him-"

For the second time today, her words were cut off. Once again, it was by the human, Ryan. They watched as he stumbled into the throne room, moving around like he had just gotten off a carnival ride. You know, like that one that they strap you in and it spins around and around...and around...and around...oi.

Ryan struggled to make his way over to the princesses, taking each step as carefully as he could. Once he had finally made it to the halfway point, his right leg stuck out and he stopped completely. After a moment of silenced the weight of his leg brought him forward and he collapsed to the ground.

Celestia and Luna rose from their seats and ran over to aid him. Luna sat down behind the human, gabbing his arms and pulling him up, making him sit up on his knees. Celestia lowered herself as well, only she was directly in front of him.

The sun god's eyes scanned his features. His eye lids seemed to be heavy, his body was leaning every which direction, and his breath...Her expression went from one of concern to slight annoyance. "He's been drinking."

Luna turned her head to the intoxicated human, she figured out real quick that he sister was right. "Oh my gosh." She spoke in an annoyed fashion. "Where did he even get it?"

Discord hid in the shadows, his hands placed firmly over his mouth so no one would hear him laughing.

Ryan leaned closer to Celestia, causing her eyes to widen a bit. She had no idea how humans reacted to alcohol. Should she be worried, scared, would he-"You have really big boobs..."

Celestia's face went completely blank. A light blush quickly spread across her muzzle. Luna was almost in tears she was laughing so hard. Before Celestia could say anything, she felt something poking one of her breasts. She looked down to see that Ryan was sticking out two fingers and simply pushing them into the soft flesh.

"They're like balloons." He said with a fascinated tone. "Like, if you took a regular balloon and filled it with warm water." He stopped for a minute, letting that word run around in his head. "Balloons...ballllooooooons..." He started snickering at the word.

Luna had completely busted out in guffaw, to the point that she actually let go of Ryan and started rolling around on the floor. "Oh gosh, ahahahaha, I can't breath!"

Ryan used everything in his power to stay in a somewhat upright position, but it wasn't enough. He fell forward, his face burying itself directly into Celestia's bosom before letting out a satisfied hum.

Mmm. Silky, warm balloons.

Celestia's face only grew redder before grabbing Ryan's shoulders and pushing him back into a sitting position. "Luna, I believe your mate is in need of some rest."

"Holy shit, you're alive!?" Ryan shouted in genuine surprise, staring directly at Celestia.

"Of course I'm alive! Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know, you weren't moving. I thought you were a statue." He looked back down at her breasts and began poking one of them again. "A very squishy statue."

Luna finally managed to catch her breath and grabbed Ryan, picking him up and holding him like one would a child. "Okay, lover-boy. I think it's time for bed."

He put one of his arms over Luna's shoulder and leaned into her. "I want a panda hat for Christmas, Santa."

The night princess rolled her eyes, still wearing an amused smile on her face before walking out of the throne room.

Don't forget the hat!

"Wait, my panda hat!"

"You don't have panda hat." Luna said with a light chuckle.

Ryan thought about it for a minute, then the realization dawned on him. "Oh yeah..."

Once the two had left Celestia stayed completely still on the ground, taking in everything that had just happened. A minute had passed and she buried her face into her hands. "Dammit, why does he have to be so cute!"

Luna carried Ryan down hallway after hallway, her alicorn strength being more than enough to hold him for an extended period of time. On the way she happened to bump into Twilight, who seemed rather curious about the predicament.

"He did what to Celestia!?" She nearly screamed as Luna finished the story.

Luna started laughing again, tightening her grip on the human so she wouldn't accidentally drop him. "H-he kept comparing her bosom to over-sized water balloons the whole time too!"

Ryan looked over at the young alicorn. She appeared to be in some weird state of shock. He had to do something quick to calm her down. It was his duty as the royal jester!

We took an oath!

He reached out, grabbing Twilight's head in both of his hands and shaking her slightly. "Calm down, Twinkle! It's going to be okay." He stopped shaking her and the two shared eye contact for about five seconds before all thoughts in his head shut down and moved on to a new subject. His gaze shifted upward to her horn. "What it with these things?" He asked, reaching up with one hand and poking the appendage.

Luna watched as he did this, a unicorn's horn was an extremely sensitive spot. Part of her wanted to make him stop immediately, while another was curious to see what he was going to do.

Twilight knew she couldn't react the way she should about her horn being touched, he was human, he didn't know any better. She would have to explain it to him. "You really shouldn't-"

"Are they flavored?"

"What!? No they're not-"

Before she could continue, Ryan pulled her head closer and licked from the base of her horn all the way to the tip, elciting a loud moan from Twilight.

Luna's first thought was 'Holy shit! No wonder his tongue was so good. That thing goes past his chin!' Her second thought was, 'Oh fuck, he's violating Twilight!'. She pulled him back just enough to free the young alicorn from his assault.

Twilight's entire body was frozen and her face was a deep red color. "I-uh...I need to go to my room now." With a bright flash of her horn she was gone.

Ryan looked around frantically, wondering where she had gone. "Wait, I wasn't done yet! Dammit, I wanted to get to the tootsie roll in the center."

They made it back to the room, finally! Aside from fondling her sister and molesting Twilight, it wasn't that bad. Ryan was a goofy and adorable drunk. Maybe she should let him drink more often. Then again, that could also lead to him doing something really stupid, so she would have to keep him under her constant supervision.

Luna carried him over to the bed, setting him down gently as to not make him too uncomfortable, despite how much he might actually deserve it.

"Hey, can we go out for tacos? I miss meat. I want a cheese burger." This slightly disturbed Luna, as her species was herbivore by nature. Does he actually eat meat, or is he just being weird? She would have to ask him at some point. If he did then why didn't he bring it up sooner?

She was about to leave shortly after levitating his blanket over him, but was stopped when she felt a tugging on the waistband of her shorts.

"Nuuu, come back." He adorably pleaded, making her giggle slightly.

"Sorry, dear, but I still have a bit of work to do. So if you don't mind I-" She yelped as the tug became a full on pull, causing her to stumble and fall into the bed.

Ryan threw an arm around her and held on tight, refusing to let her go. Cuddles were going to happen, even if they had to be forced.

I like snuggling.

Luna tried to get up, but the intoxicated human seemed to have some sort of hidden strength. He wasn't going to budge. She sighed, maybe taking a slight break from work wouldn't be too bad. Besides, it felt nice being wrapped in his arms. He may be slightly shorter than her, but he played big spoon pretty well. His body was warm, his arms were soft...

Before she could continue her thought Ryan pulled himself up and laid his body down on top of Luna, resting his chin on her chest as he looked up at her. "What are you doing?" She asked, seeming slightly worried.

Ryan opened his mouth to speak, but stopped. He looked like he was thinking really hard to try and find an answer. "That...is a very good question." He looked around at where he was and what position he was in. "How did I get up here?"

Luna laughed again, he really was too cute sometimes. When she stopped laughing she saw him staring up at her horn. 'Uh oh' she thought as one of his hands reached up and gripped the appendage. She let out a muffled moan as he did this. "Seriously, Ryan...What are you doing?"

He ran his hand up and down her horn, letting his thumb run circles over the odd ridges as he did so to get a better feel of the texture. It was hard, but also very smooth. Like there was a layer of silk-like skin over it. "How is a thing that exists? It's so weird!" He pulled the horn closer to him, making Luna's head raise from the bed.

He continued to examine it while his hand explored it up and down. Luna was gasping repeatedly for some reason, but he was too distracted to find out why. Curiosity took over again; He didn't get a strong flavor off of Twilight's horn, maybe his did it wrong. He stuck his tongue out and dragged it up Luna's horn, placing the tip in his mouth this time to see if he could get a better taste from it.

They're flavored, I know they are! Don't stop until we find out what it is!

He continued to run his hand along her horn, not even realizing he was still doing it. He kept the tip in his mouth and ran circles over it with his tongue.

Luna was in a complete state of pleasure. She wanted to make him stop at first, but something inside of her wasn't going to allow it. No pony had ever done anything like this to her, so the feeling was completely new, but she was loving every second of it. She reached her arms up and wrapped them around Ryan, digging her fingers into his back.

He could feel her nails digging slightly into his skin. It kind of hurt. Why was she trying to hurt him? He was just studying her, he doesn't know about these pony's weird biology. So why is she doing this? Regardless, he wasn't going to let her get away with it, he just needed to figure out how to get back at her.

Bite that bitch!

That would work! He wouldn't be able to do it too hard due to a lack of feeling in his jaw. That was probably because of the fall he took back in the throne room. He did land pretty hard. Ryan wasn't going to let it stop him though; so he brought his front teeth down on Luna's horn.

This completely sent Luna over the edge. She screamed as her horn began to shoot small bursts of magic into his mouth. Once it had stopped her head dropped back down to the bed, finally being released from the oral prison.

Ryan was in a slight state of shock at what had just happened and let go of Luna, letting her fall back onto the bed. He didn't get any sort of flavor from the horn, but his mouth did feel a bit tingly. It was hard to explain, especially in his drunken stupor.

The release of her horn left her in a state of euphoria, but there were other things calling to her attention. She could feel a certain aching between her thighs, as well as a growing wet spot in her shorts. If he was going to play around with her body, then it's only fair that she gets to play around with his.

Once this thought entered her mind, Luna found herself filled with a sudden burst of energy and vigor. She pushed Ryan off of her and to the side, before he could react she straddled him and forced her lips against his.

Ryan wasn't complaining in any way, he always enjoyed their embraces, especially this one. As they continued their agreesive make out session, the human could feel something odd going on down by his waist. He broke the kiss and looked down to see his lower half covered in an odd blue glow.

His belt came undone and his pants were forced off of him, soon after his shirt was pulled off as well. "Hey, I need those." He said lazily and with a slight lisp, his TH's sounding more like a D. He looked up to see the mare on top of him pulling off her shirt.

Once Luna's shirt was gone she leaned down for another kiss, pressing her tongue against his lips, practically begging for entry. She was much more forceful when he allowed her in, letting their tongues battle for dominance. She raised her lower body, using her magic to slide her shorts off of her.

One of her hands worked its way down his chest to his groin. She quickly took noticed of the still flaccid member between his legs. At fist she felt a little insulted, then she remembered that he had been drinking, whiskey-dick is a thing. Granted she only heard about it after visiting the club and talking to a group of mares, but at least she knew it wasn't because he didn't find her attractive.

Never-the-less, this was a problem that could be easily fixed. She used her magic to envelop his cock in a blue glow, filling it with what could only be describe as a magical aphrodisiac. His member soon began to elongate and harden until it looked as if it was about to burst.

Luna grabbed Ryan's arms and pinned them above his head as she positioned her moist entrance above his throbbing rod. She broke the kiss and stared at him with a dominant look, her eyes were hungry and full of lust.

Ryan, still in his stupid drunk state, was confused and slightly terrified by this. "Brain...what's happening?" He whispered not too quietly. Luna giggled at him again before lowering herself slightly, allowing the head of his cock to enter her.

RAPE!!!

He started wiggling around beneath her, trying to break free from her grip. Luna saw this as him playing along and simply wanting more. With this in mind she let her body drop down, taking in his full length. Her eyes shot wide open as she gasped at the foreign appendage now inside of her body. She never imagined it would feel anything like this. It was warm, hot even. She could feel his heartbeat pulsing through his member and into her.

Her eyes wandered down to Ryan. He was completely frozen still; He looked like he could have just up and died at that moment. Worry started to fill her. "Ryan?"

...ohhhhh fuck.

Suddenly Luna felt a powerful thrust come from Ryan. Her arms went weak as she moaned into the air. The human freed himself from her grip before grabbing her shoulders and forcing them to roll over.

Ryan pinned Luna down beneath him and started pulling out of her moist slit. She looked almost disappointed, like the thing that had given her pleasure just moments ago was going to leave and never come back. Much to her surprise though, Ryan thrust hard back into her tight caverns, hilting himself within her. Luna released an almost primal moan as his length was shoved into her.

Biting her lip, she looked up at Ryan who began thrusting in and out of her at an aggressive pace. Luna let out a series of soft moans every time he would force his way back into her. The human released her arms and began roughly playing with her breasts, pinching her nipples between his knuckles.

Luna never pictured her first time being so rough, but at this point she didn't care. She was loving every second of this and wanted more. Her wish was soon granted as Ryan released her breasts and lowers himself down closer to her. His thrusts had slowed down, but they didn't lighten up in the slightest. With his face closer to hers he prompted for a quick kiss before lowering his head and biting down on a particularly sensitive spot on Luna's neck that she didn't know she had. "Oh fuck, yes!" She cried.

Ryan had enough experience in his world. Twenty-eight relationships failed and gone down the drain. Tell you what though, none of them came from problems in the bedroom. He wasn't as big as some of his friends, especially Alex. They called him Godzilla for a reason. But, he has slept with a couple of the girls that Alex had, and they openly admitted to Ryan being much better. He knew how to use what he had, and he had teased enough women to know every sensitive spot in the book. As this one shows, ponies have them as well, he would just have to be a little bit more rough with them.

Granted, in his current mental state, everything he was doing was based purely on instinct. Either way, Luna couldn't get enough of it. The mare below was doing everything in her power to force him as deep into her as he could go.

Again, instinctively, he knew what needed to be done. Much to Luna's disappointment he pulled out of her before flipping her body so she would be laying face down on the bed. "Is something wrong? Why did you-ahh!" Luna soon found that blissful filling feeling return to her as Ryan hilted himself back within her passage, this time deeper. "Please, keep going!"

He ran his fingers down her toned back, teasing her and making her body shudder before finally resting his hands on her soft round flank and continuing his work on her. He always preferred this position. Not only did it allow you to go deeper, which is great for both parties, but he loved the this kind of physical contact. The feeling of the soft flesh of her ass pressing up against his waist, it was amazing before, but Luna's smooth fur was making him love it even more.

"R-Ryan..." She managed to say between moans. "I-I feel...something's gonna-" She didn't know how to describe it, this growing feeling inside of her. Like something was building up and begging to be released. Ryan continued thrusting into her, making the feeling even stronger until finally she felt something else entirely. He body released a wave of fluids onto her mate's cock as she screamed into the heavens. There it was, the blissful release that had been clawing at her for so long.

Ryan wasn't too far behind, but the feeling of Luna's release along with the tightening of her walls that pulled him deeper into her coaxed it out of him. He leaned over her form, hilting himself inside of her as he felt his climax hit hard, releasing wave after wave of his baby gravy into her caverns.

Luna could feel a warm fluid filling her insides, a clear indication that her mate had hit his end as well.

The two collapsed and the human's now softening member worked it's way out of her before he rolled off to the side. They looked over at each other with exhausted smiles on their faces.

Luna crawled over to Ryan with her arm, as her legs felt like jello at the moment, and curled up against him, wrapping one of her arms around his stomach while her head rested on his chest. "That was...wonderful..." Her eyes started to close, she couldn't believe that she had gotten so tired. In a matter of seconds, she was out like a light.

After catching his breath, Ryan looked around the room. He was still a bit out of it from hanging out with Discord earlier, but he wasn't tired. He looked down at Luna's peacefully sleeping form, then his eyes became set on her horn.

Dinosaurs goes omnomnomnom

He stared at it for another few seconds before placing the tip in his mouth again. "Nom"

Luna gasped as she woke up.

Author's Notes:

An extra long, very fun chapter to make up for my absence. I hope you all enjoyed. Feel free to let me know how this came out as this was the first ever sex scene I have ever written in the history of ever.