"Hello. I'm a talking dog named Spike. And here, I review things. So, we decided to call this web show... Candid Canines!"

"Spike!"

"Fine, Candid Canine, singular."

"Spike..."

"I'm a canine, and I'm candid, and I want another C word because I like alliteration."

"Spike, seriously."

"Look, Spike Reviews isn't really going to get any hits. It's like... there are a lot of Spikes, aren't there? There's the vampire Spike, there's the dragon Spike, the Happy Days Spike—"

"Look, I just thought you'd want to spread your opinion of human culture!"

"I do, Twi, seriously, but... can we try some other title? Something less generic?"

"He's got a point."

"Moooom!"

Author's Notes:

"He really does."

"Do you just follow me all the time now?"

"Only when it's funny; I blame Pinkie Pie."

"Can I get you something to drink, Sunset?"

"No thank you, Mrs. Velvet, the gag's nearly done."