"And with the final design for the thaumatic reactor being sent in for patenting, we can begin the industrial phase as soon as your return from Saddle Arabia."

Fancy Pants nodded, flipping through the fiscal notes of the current quarter, "Excellent news, Mrs. Spice, excellent indeed! I look forward to Fancy Industries finally getting more of a leg up in the new market for magical technology- hmm... remind me to schedule a board meeting for a portmanteau branding session."

"Yes sir, Mr. Pants," Spice said, jotting down a note. There was a small moment of silence before she spoke up again.

"Sir, I... may I voice some concerns?"

Raising his eyebrows in surprise, Fancy Pants, "I don't know what impression I gave that would suggest otherwise- I value your input highly, Mrs. Spice."

"Well..." She shifted a little, "I'm just a little worried- a technological demonstration in Saddle Arabia? And so close to the border with Tauros? To be frank, sir, it seems ill conceived."

Fancy Pants nodded, "Ah, is that all?"

He stood up, clapping a hand reassuringly on his assistant, "I assure you, I have taken every measure of precaution for this trip. Security detail, professional military assistance- I believe the common folk refer to it as "The Works", yes?"

"Yes, that sounds about right."

Fancy Pants smiled, "So, chin up! Nothing could possibly go wrong!"

"Billionaire philanthropist and magitech powerhouse CEO of Fancy Industries has been declared missing during a demonstration in Saddle Arabia," the news anchor declared. Snails blinked once, a spoonful of cereal dripping back into his bowl. He shrugged once, and went back to eating.

"Mom, your boss is on the news."

Author's Notes:

I get the feeling that Fancy Pants won't have nearly as many problems with alcoholism.