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Group Precipitation

by FanOfMostEverything

Chapter 373: Stranger than Pony Fiction, by FoME

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Back in her bad old days, Sunset had turned to graffiti as one of the many ways to both vent her frustration at her magicless prison and refine her fine motor skills. She'd tagged much of the area around her warehouse home with a blend of longing, impressionistic murals of Equestria, grotesque caricatures of Princess Celestia, and the kind of angry slogans that made Sunset feel embarrassed for herself whenever she thought about them now.

At least today, she felt more embarrassed for everyone else in the room. The assembled bishops of the Church of the Divine Bacon Horse all squirmed in their incredibly ergonomic seats, and even Ruby refused to make eye contact from her across the enormous mahogany table. The overall effect was less a Manehattan conference room and more a classroom just after a pernicious question from the teacher.

In this case, that question was "What do you think?"

A few moments passed. It became clear that no one else in the conference room was going to speak. Sunset held back a sigh and broke the silence. "Firstly, Mr. Pablum, thank you for taking the time to put together this presentation, and for making sure I would attend."

Powdered Pablum of Flimflam, Pablum, & Tripe nodded and beamed. "This is rather outside of my usual work, but I know your relationship with the Church is..." The earth aspect advertising executive paused as he hunted for a word, slate-blue hand drifting towards his greying combover. "Shall we say, fraught at times. I thought it would be best if you here personally to see my ideas for improving its image."

Sunset raised an eyebrow and panned her gaze over the Church officials. "I was unaware its image needed improving."

"There's always room for improvement, o Glorious Proclaimer." Sunset mostly held back the wince. Mr. Pablum didn't seem to notice. His smile certainly didn't shift. "And in this age where the younger demographics question and discard so many of their parents' traditions, I think this is exactly the sort of thing that will allow the Church to appeal to them directly rather than feeling forced on them by older generations."

"That's... certainly a goal to strive for." It was a goal. One could strive for it. Nothing about the statement was false.

"Even if the Church is less than a generation old," Belladonna muttered.

"Better to be prepared ahead of time," said Mr. Pablum.

Sunset allowed herself a nod. "That being said, I have some reservations about the design."

Mr. Pablum's smile shifted for the first time in the entire meeting. "Such as?"

And, with a feeling not unlike jumping off a cliff, Sunset said, "For one, if you'll pardon my bluntness, why is my mouth stabbing into my eye?"

Author's Notes:

For reference (TW: Demigenerational art shifts.)

Flummox Flimflam is only distantly related to two certain ne'er-do-wells in the Canterlot area. That's her story and she's sticking to it. And say what you will about the Pony Life designs, but goodness knows there's comedy fodder to be had.

Next Chapter: Just a Phrase, by FoME Estimated time remaining: 1 Hour, 35 Minutes
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