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Group Precipitation

by FanOfMostEverything

Chapter 214: A Conversation in Wavetongue, by Masterweaver

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html>Group Precipitation

Group Precipitation

by FanOfMostEverything

First published

Stories set in the Oversaturated World, some silly, some less so.

Even in a world that just amended the laws of physics, not everything is going to be some grand world-shaking adventure. Sometimes, it's going to be silly, or at least short. These are those stories.

Canonicity is dubious at best.

Want to see your ideas here? Put them in the fiction thread in the group!

Image courtesy of Masterweaver.

Yet Another Revolution, by Tophe

"Show some respect fer yer elders, Jackie, Ah ain't deaf!" barked Granny. "Ah understand that Shimmer girl turned inta a sun goddess and changed the world bah magic."

"Uh, good. You just seem weirdly... chill about all this."

Granny smiled. "Ye say tha world's changed forever. Ah've heard that before. They said it when Fence Gates invented tha Internet. They said it when they split tha atom. An' by gum, they'll say it again someday!"

"Ah don't think this is entirely comparable."

"They said that before too. Now, since y'all can lift fifty stone onehanded, there's some chores need doin'..."

Launch Error, by FoME

"Hey!"

Sunset looked away from her locker to see a scowling Scootaloo. "Yes?"

"I want to file a bug report."

Sunset blinked. "What?"

Scootaloo spread her wings... which didn't even extend past her shoulders. She grunted and groaned like a constipated anime character and managed maybe an inch of altitude before landing, panting and furious. "What... gives?"

"Well..." Sunset put a hand on her chin as she thought. "Fluttershy's closer to animals than ever, but she has a very low top flight speed. Maybe unusual talents like your fate magic come at the cost of normal pegasus magic." She frowned. "I may have done this to you, Scootaloo. I'm sorry." She reached out to put a hand on the younger girl's shoulder.

After a blur of motion, Scootaloo wasn't there. "It's not all bad," she said from behind Sunset.

Sunset turned. "Wha—"

Judging by the blur and the brief pressure on Sunset's shoulders, Scootaloo vaulted over her at ludicrous speed and, once more behind her, said, "I'm still pretty awesome. Just wanted to know why I couldn't get airborne."

New Age Diplomacy, by Masterweaver

The president looked over the new diplomatic envoy. Even with the feathers down his neck, he couldn't quite believe what he was seeing.

"<Chriiip Krrk keeek-keke yurplip!>"

Sea Swirl cleared her throat. "The honorable Screamseeker understands your surprise, but wishes you to know that his service octopi can only last so long even within a magically propelled spout of seawater and would like your response before he has to return to his pod."

That managed to shake the president out of his shock. "Ah. Yes. Well." He cleared his throat. "I will have to consult with my advisors, but I suspect that they will agree quite readily to an alliance with the..." He gave Sea Swirl a look. "Green-kelp pod?"

"Greensea, sir. Green-Kelp is... a rival pod."

"Ah. My mistake."

Sea Swirl nodded, turning to the twisting column of water. "<Flii krknrup pepepep chiprachip!>"

"<Ayheyheyheyheyhey!>" With a clap of its forefins, the dolphin leaned out of the water and planted a toothy kiss on the president's forehead, then on Seaswirl's, before turning around and directing it back into the greater sea.

The president turned to the young girl.

"...Dolphins."

"Dolphins."

Fathoming the Unfathomable, by Tophe

Twilight massaged her forehead. “No, I mean the geometry of the space you travel through. Is it Eweclidean? Mincowski? Is it even a manifold?”

“Yup.” Pinkie nodded sagely. “I have no idea what those are.”

“Well, is it hyperbolic, elliptical, or flat?”

“Oh, definitely not flat. It's all floofy, like cotton candy!”

“Ugh, this was a waste of my time. Sorry, Pinkie, but if you don't have the technical basics to – wait, how is it like cotton candy?”

“Well, cotton candy's made of sugar threads wrapped around a long stick. So if the stick is the universe, the candy is like...”

* * *

… this five-dimensional region is surrounded by the Bubble Bath, which doesn't contain any strawberryways because it would dissolve the sugar.

I would like to thank Pinkamena Pie for her contributions to this chapter.

- extract from Probability Space: A Primer by Twilight Sparkle

Passing Time, by FoME and Masterweaver

(FoME)

Twilight sighed longingly, her head resting on the Cutie Map. Odds were that she couldn't sway the mysterious artifact through the same passive-aggressive tactics that always worked on Shining Armor, but it was worth a try. After all, it wasn't like she had anything better to do, even while some ponies were allowed to go to Manehattan.

"You did have two missions, you know," Spike said as he entered the throne room.

Twilight rolled her eyes. "The second one hardly counts. I don't even know why I was supposed to go with Sunset to the Tree of—" She gasped, cried "Sunset!" and dashed out of the room.

Spike hurried to keep up. "What about her?"

"Well, I may not have anything to do in this world, but I'm sure my friends in the human world wouldn't mind a surprise visit."

"Surprise?" Spike scowled as he finally caught up to Twilight, who was activating the portal. "You can't expect them to drop everything just because you're bored."

"Of course not." Twilight pranced in place as she waited for the override device to warm up. "If class is in session, I'll just wait in the library or something. I've barely even looked at their history."

The portal opened with a flash, displaying a pattern on the rippling spacetime membrane. "Huh," said Spike. "That's new." Five symbols lay in a pentagon, each in a slashed-circle "no" symbol. One was a silhouette of Discord's head, but the other four were cutie marks. "So, no Cadence, no Celestia, no Luna, and..." Spike hissed through his teeth. "Oh."

Twilight felt herself fall back on her haunches. "Well. Great. Wonderful! More than one universe doesn't want me to do anything!"

The symbols shifted and formed a familiar face. "Nothing personal, Twilight," said Sunset Shimmer. "It's just not safe to have an alicorn over here quite yet, and one Discord is frankly more than enough. If it's any consolation, we're in the middle of summer vacation. I'll see if the girls want to visit Equestria." With that, the portal pulsed with energy, shutting down the override device.

"Well, that should be fun, right, Twilight?" After a moment, Spike looked at up at the mare. "Uh, Twilight?"

"What am I going to do until then!?"

(Masterweaver)

"Why, SCIENCE!"

Spike jumped as Discord dropped in out of nowhere, begarbed in a labcoat. "What?!"

"Science?" Twilight tilted her head.

"SCIENCE!" proclaimed Discord, juggling multicolored test tubes.

Spike rose an eyeridge. "Science."

"Science...." Twilight mused.

"Science," Discord suggested.

"Science...?"

"Science!"

Spike backed away, cautiously. "Science?!"

"SCIENCE!" Twilight cried with a wide grin.

"SCIENCE!" echoed Discord.


(FoME)

Twilight blinked and looked up from her book. "Okay, that's weird."

"What is?" asked Sunset, sitting next to her under the same tree in the town park.

"It's this weird tugging sensation, like someone's pulling on my hair or something, except the pull's coming from a direction I can't place."

"Huh. Hang on." Sunset blurred, becoming a vague, roughly humanoid region of orange energy for a moment before resuming her usual shape. "Okay, bad news is that someone is trying to summon you. Good news, they didn't mean to, and they're not putting enough into it to actually make it work."

Twilight frowned at her. "I thought you were trying to tone down the whole 'omniscient observer' thing and stay on the level of us mere mortals."

Sunset smirked. "Look, Ditzy Doo was bad enough. I don't want you of all people falling out of the universe."

"Thanks," Twilight said with a little smile. She tilted her head. "Though I have to ask, how are people accidentally summoning me?"

"Well, one of them is the you of that world, which helps, and they're..." Sunset trailed off, looking away from Twilight.

"Yes?"

"They're, uh, chanting..." Sunset said the last word so softly, Twilight barely heard her say "science."

"Science?"

"Science."

"... Science."

Sunset grimaced. "We should probably stop. Summoning yourself rarely ends well."

Proper Notation, by Tophe

Shortly after interfacing an enchanted hoofmirror, a transdimensional relay, and a Linux smartphone...

"Look, you can't sign yourself Twilight Sparkle in Equestria. That's my name."

"It's mine too."

"I had it first."

"I don't have any other names I can use. You change, you can be HRH The Princess of Friendship."

"Absolutely not. I already had that argument with Luna once."

"Well, what's your idea?"

"We won't be the only ones dealing with this. Almost everybody has a duplicate, we need to establish a general convention."

"Oh, I see. So you can be Twilight-E, for Equestria, and I can be - no, Earth starts with an E as well."

"What's Earth?"

Dark Desires, by Masterweaver [Sex]

Author's Notes:

In the words of the author:

BE FOREWARNED THE FOLLOWING INVOLVES PROFANITY, FRANK DISCUSSIONS OF SEX, AND ADULT BISEXUAL WOMEN! YOU ARE FOREWARNED!

"...You are out of your flipping mind."

"Lulu, the fact that you said 'flipping' instead of 'fucking' just further proves my point."

Luna sighed, rubbing the crystal that had recently appeared on her forehead. "Chrysalis," she growled, "I am not. Going to make some sort of dreamworld brothel."

Across from her, stretching out her now longer legs, an ebony-skinned woman steepled her fingers with a smirk. "Whenever something new comes into existence, it's only a matter of time before somebody starts thinking about how to use it for sex. Just over this last week I've had a hundred new bedroom spells given to me by my children to look over. And some of them were quite exotic."

"Putting aside your cult's unnervingly... intimate nature," the blue woman said with a small shudder, "and the inevitable experimentation that, yes, I accept is going to happen... I don't see the point behind your proposal."

"Well, there are multiple points. Firstly, you can do in dreams what would be impossible in reality, even with magic. Secondly, dreams are private, for the most part, to a degree that reality is again unable to satisfy--"

"That might give legitimacy to people adjusting their own dreams--"

"--but the biggest point, I think, is curiosity." Chrysalis rolled her shoulders (and Luna managed to keep her blush down to a faint red line out of sheer willpower). "Let's be honest, almost nobody wants to admit to going into a sex shop, but almost everybody wants to poke their head in at some point. What I'm proposing isn't just a brothel, but a way to provide answers to questions that people would be too embarrassed to ask when they were awake."

Luna narrowed her eyes. "You were saying you'd have members of your church ready for private services."

"Only for paying customers," Chrysalis countered with an airy wave. "The main lobby wouldn't have any activity, just some informational pamphlets and, well." She leaned forward, resting her chin on her clasped hands (and oh, was that a low-cut dress she wore--Luna forced her eyes to snap back up). "Obviously, I would be there, to handle questions and generally be a secretary."

"That still sounds like a way to recruit innocent young members into your religion--"

"Harmonists have been running soup kitchens for ages, Lulu. The Wholesome would just offer something similar. And besides," she added as she flipped her long, silken hair (she always did that, and it frustrated the poor vice principal because she knew Chrysalis knew that she got flustered when she did), "If I didn't do it, somebody eventually would. At least this way you have some idea of the areas you want to avoid, instead of stumbling on some up and coming house of commons that don't even care for their servants and treat them like TRASH--!"

"Chrysy!"

The ebony woman blinked at Luna's sudden shout, taking notice of how she had suddenly stood, and followed her gaze to her own hands. "OH! Oh, sorry, I just--!" She quickly extinguished the green flames from around her hands. "Yeah, that's... that's been happening since the whole, uh, thing. Kind of freaked me out the first time, I burned right through the dress I was wearing before I realized it was me..."

Luna took a breath and slowly sat down again. "...Don't. Ever. Scare me like that again."

For a moment, just the briefest of moments, Chrysalis had a look of genuine shock and appreciation on her face. And then, once again, the mask of a sly and conniving flirt smirked at her. "Awww, you still care about me? That's sweet, Lulu. You know I'd be willing to pick up where we left off--"

"Regarding your proposition," Luna interjected firmly, "I can see that you have clearly put quite a bit of thought into this. However, I cannot in good conscience agree to it without some time to review the concept in its entirety. Furthermore, I will have to insist you draft up a written proposition and put it through the proper channels--"

"But Lulu--"

"SO THAT," she continued firmly, "in the event of further dreamworld based businesses, there will be a legal precedent from which their operation can be extrapolated."

After a moment, Chrysalis nodded. "I can agree to that."

"Good. Now... I have a school to run. I would be quite happy if you left me to it."

The ebony woman opened her mouth... and shut it, standing up. She walked to the door.

And stopped.

"...Luna... Even if you don't approve of my lifestyle... even though my choices hurt you... you know that I still care about you, right?"

Luna sighed. "Just... there's too much going on for me to handle this on top of everything, Chrysy. I need space right now."

"...so the moonbutt," Chrysalis said contemplatively, "needs some space."

"Oh get the fuck out."

Inevitable, by Masterweaver [Minor Gore]

"Two months," Sunset groused. "It's only been two months, and there's a zombie outbreak."

Twilight coughed. "I don't think it can be considered an 'outbreak.' Lab accident, maybe. And they're contained, and... well, it's lab rats, Sunset." She paused. "Unless some of them escaped--?"

"No, we're lucky the scientists were smart enough to lock the cages." She gestured at the online video of a partially dissected rat skittering around its enclosure. "I just... There isn't such a thing as zombie ponies in Equestria."

"Why not?"

Sunset opened her mouth... and paused. "...You know, I don't actually know. Hold on." She pulled out the magical world-connecting journal and quickly wrote something down in it. "Let's hope we get an answer soon though. Honestly. Zombies."

"Lab rats, Sunset."

"ZOMBIES!"

"...I think they're ghouls, technically." Twilight looked over her shoulder at the video of the rat trying to tug its own entrails free of the hamster wheel. "They still retain some some self-control."

"...what, there are classes of undead now?"

"Trust me, when your brother plays as many fantasy games as mine did growing up, you learn these things."

Once More with Feeling, by FoME

Weeks before Sunset would have a reason to research Oubliettes & Ogres sourcebooks, she got a phone call while at home. "Hey, AJ. What's up?"

"Ah don't wanna worry ya none, Sunset, but we may have a problem." Applejack tried to sound casual, but the underlying tension in her voice was clear.

Sunset got off her couch. "A magical one?" She grabbed her jacket off of the worn arm of the sofa.

"There any other kind these days?" Sunset could hear Applejack's smirk before the other girl got back to business. "See, jus' now, there was this big song an' dance number across the street. An' Ah mean an actual song an' dance number. Flips an' spins an' backup dancers, th' whole nine yards. Part o' me wanted t' join in."

The tension melted out of Sunset. She plopped back down. "Oh, is that all? Heartsongs are a well-documented aspect of harmony magic. You even participated in one a while back."

"Ah did?"

"Remember that flash mob thing you did in the school cafeteria to get everyone to support Princess Twilight? After..." Sunset sighed as her head dipped down. "After my smear video?"

"Yer a long way from that girl, Sunset." Applejack's tone turned thoughtful. "Still, never thought much about that. Shoot, how long've people been doin' that kinda thing?"

"I can't say for certain, but it's a perfectly natural part of magic as I understand it."

"Includin' songs about gettin' out mustard stains?"

Sunset blinked. "Huh?"

"Ah'm across th' street from a laundromat. This still normal?" Applejack's voice took on an uneasy edge. "If mah whole life's been an opera, Ah wanna know about it."

"Oh. I see. That is a bit much." After a little contemplation, Sunset said, "It's probably the world recalibrating itself as it adjusts to higher magic levels."

Applejack still sounded nervous. "We ain't singin' right now, are we?"

Sunset smiled. "No, Applejack, we're not singing. I'll try to tell you if we are."

"Alrighty then."

Mana Points, by Tophe and Masterweaver

(Tophe)

"We hypothesized as far as magic's concerned clothing is actually a part of the human body which is Pinkie-level bizarre but it explains so much like how Sunset and my counterpart came through the portal in normal human fashions and also you know how animals -"

"Twilight, dear, a little focus wouldn't go amiss." said Rarity, examining the tree, which gave off a gentle crackle of residual magic. A baffled but unworried rabbit glanced down from among the branches.

"Oh! Sorry I have a bit of a high at the moment from the magic surge because I overestimated the mana the spell would need for such a short duration and didn't control it well enough to adjust I'm used to having an external power source like my spectrometer actually have I shown you my spectrometer yet -"

"Twilight!" hissed Rarity. "This is turning into a disaster! We're already late for class, and if you don't figure out a counterspell in the next minute, someone will come out to investigate, and the entire school will know you TURNED FLUTTERSHY INTO A TREE!"

(Masterweaver, even less canonical than usual)

"...Mana is a snackfood," Sunset said, confused.

"Wh...what?"

"Yeah. Snackfood." Seeing the baffled look on Twilight's face, she rolled her eyes. "We'd make, basically, granola bars, but the ingredients were high-thaum-concentration plants--"

"Thaum." Twilight leapt on the word. "Thaum, is that a measure of magical energy?"

"It's a quantitative measure of potential magical energy--wait, is that what you thought mana was?"

"Yes! I mean, all the video games use... mana bars..."

The two of them stared at each other.

"...crrrrrrrap." Sunset buried her head in her hands. "We're going to have to sort out basic terminology ASAP, aren't we?"

Steaming Ahead, by FoME and Masterweaver

(FoME)

Celestia had seen a great deal while on the throne, but nothing quite like Twilight Sparkle’s human counterpart. Though they were in Princess Twilight’s castle, the girl retained her usual form, though Celestia understood that the ears and forehead crystal were recent additions. Celestia couldn’t help but compare the girl to a minotaur, though the proportions were as off as the feet. “I must confess,” said the princess, “I wasn’t expecting to meet you quite like this.”

“Nor was I,” said the human Twilight as she filled a silvery container with water. Wires connected it to a bizarre assembly of crystals and circuitry. Twilight fiddled with switches and dials as she continued. “On the one hand, well, I still have hands. On the other, I was looking forward to getting some experience as another species.” She faced Celestia, apparently satisfied with her gadgetry for now. “But that’s not why we’re here.”

Celestia nodded. “Indeed it is not. You and Princess Twilight have been very enthusiastic about trade between our two worlds, but I fear that both sides may receive innovations that they aren’t ready to use wisely. This is an exciting time, yes, but we must not let eagerness overtake prudence. Perhaps—” She was interrupted by a mechanical pop. “What was that?”

Twilight smiled and lifted the now steaming container from its base. “This, Princess Celestia, is an electric kettle.”

(Masterweaver)

Two weeks later, both Twilights looked at the smoldering remains of Canterlot palace's west wing.

"...Okay, so I know about electrical fires."

"Mmmhmm."

"And I can accept that magic can amplify fire."

"Yep."

"And, yes, it kind of makes sense that one of the cooks could overclock an electric kettle."

"It does."

"...But an entire wing of a marble palace?! AN ENTIRE WING?!"

"You're looking at it."

"I just... How?! HOW?!" Twilight stretched her hands wide. "It should have been contained to the kitchens, at most!"

"It should have," Twilight agreed.

"And, horrific as it sounds, you should have less property damage and more injured ponies! Maybe even a few dead ones!"

"I'm glad nopony died," the alicorn said, a hint of reproach in her voice.

"Me too, don't get me wrong, it's just... HOW?! The kitchens are in the east wing for crying out loud!"

And Now the Whether, by Masterweaver

"As you can plainly see, a vibration in harmonic register has been generated over the pacific. If you live on the west coast, you should expect a minor increase in personal heartsongs over the next week; the register seems to be low-power enough that you don't have to worry about major numbers breaking out, but it might be best to wear thick shoes if you're especially susceptible to good cheer. And that's the weather; now to Aria for the news!"

"Thank you Sonata. The Wholesome has made a strike against the recently formed Crystal Champions, using never-before-seen mental spells to bring them in. While the ethicality of these spells is still debatable, most pegasus and earth aspected members of Centauros are celebrating in the streets. The dictator Tirek has not been seen all month, and analysts predict his eugenic policies will be overturned before the year is out. Good riddance. Meanwhile, Adagio has news over in the entertainment industry."

"Hmmph."

"...Which I'm sure she'll be quite willing to share, since it pays her flippin' bills."

"Fine! Some whackos calling themselves the Technowizards have developed a gaming console that incorporates magic! They're calling it the Lotus! And maybe it'll be cool and maybe it'll flop! Rave about it online or not, I DON'T REALLY CARE!"

"This has been Siren Spell Stories, your channel for worldwide magical news. Stay tuned for our next segment: beating some sense into our former leader."

"Oh you wanna go? You think you can take me? Well come on and AAAAAAAAAUGH!"

"Whoopsie! Did I hit the taze button again?"

"...screw you, Sonata...."

One of Those Days, by FoME

Lunch at Canterlot High hadn’t changed much since magic first started leaking into the world. Though the school had been unified for months, the clique tables were slow to dissolve, held together by force of habit. Still, the cafeteria had a much lighter, livelier air than before the Fall Formal. The addition of novelties like winged students eating together near the ceiling, trays in their laps, only added to that.

However, some moods didn’t match the ambiance. Twilight Sparkle frowned, stabbed an innocent grape out of her fruit cup, and chewed it with extreme prejudice.

“Uh, Twilight? You okay?”

She took a deep breath and tried to smile as she turned to Sunset. “Fine. Why do you ask?” Twilight looked around. All her friends seemed uneasy, eyes wide and barely blinking. “What?” Her arm went down to impale more produce, but missed the mark by far more than she expected. She looked at it and blinked. “When did my fork turn into a Möbihoss strip?”

“See, that’s why I’m asking if you’re okay.” Sunset licked her fingertips and reached up to Twilight’s bun. After a brief hiss, she pulled back, shaking her now smoking fingers. “Hadn’t thought impassioned evocation was even possible in this world, but you were starting to smolder. What’s wrong?”

“It’s…” Twilight bit her lip. “This is going to sound crazy.”

Sunset, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack all pointed at Pinkie Pie, who smiled and waved.

Twilight couldn’t help but smile. “It’s just… have you ever wanted the world to be quiet for a second so you can hear yourself think?” Most of the others nodded. Twilight's smile widened. “And sometimes you just feel surrounded by fools and children, and the constant coughing and sneezing and breathing and sounds of disgusting flesh surround you and…” She trailed off. Pretty much everyone was looking at her funny now.

“I was with you up until the breathing,” said Sunset.

Pinkie looked around the table. “Huh. I thought everyone felt like that sometimes.”

Applejack scooted away from her as best she could. “Uh, yeah. No.”

Sunset put a hand on Twilight’s shoulder and smiled. “We should probably check on that mental contamination hypothesis of yours.”

Twilight felt her cheeks burn as she nodded. “Sooner rather than later.”

Author's Notes:

This one is more than a little autobiographical. :twilightsheepish:

Mysterious Ways, by Masterweaver and FoME

(Masterweaver)

"No."

"But—"

"No," Sunset repeated, frowning.

"But—It's a lightsaber!"

"Yes it is. Now think about that feeling you're having. Now realize that every little kid that has seen Star Wars will have that same feeling. Now think about how easy it was to make that thing when you realized you had magic."

"...Oh."

"Give," Sunset commanded, her hand outstretched.

Reluctantly, the five star general handed over the metal cylinder. "You... do realize that people are going to make this all the time, right?"

"Mmmmyep. I'll just make sure only my 'chosen paladins' can keep them." The girl lit the blade up, examining it. "Or something. I'm still kind of new to this whole 'god' thing."


(FoME)

"'Chosen paladins'? Really?" Twilight rolled her eyes. "What, will you take their lightsabers away if they stop being lawful good?"

Sunset glanced about the Canterlot High lab, unable to make eye contact with the other girl. "Well, what was I supposed to say?"

"I don't know." Twilight crossed her arms. "I'm not a god."

"I don't think of myself as a god, and I don't want to. But there's a time and a place for explaining precisely what I've become. Convincing someone not to give lightsabers to one of the world's largest armed forces is neither."

Twilight sighed. "Sunset, from a cynical perspective, human history could be seen as an exercise in finding new and exciting ways to kill each other." Her expression softened as she put a hand on Sunset's shoulder. "You're going to run yourself ragged if you try to keep everyone on the planet from weaponizing magic."

Sunset kept looking away. "I... wasn't entirely joking about the religion."

Twilight took a step back, frowning. "Sunset..."

"Like it or not—and I don't—a few people already worship me. Heck, someone with a 3D printer has been making pendants of my cutie mark! I might as well try to use that for good."

After a bit of awkward silence, Twilight smiled. "Well, I can't do anything about your little cult, but I may have a better way for you to effect change."


"Hello. I'm Sunset Shimmer, and welcome to Magical Mayhem, where I explain how to use magic safely and responsibly by showing you what can go wrong if you don't. For our first episode we have... Well, let's at least try to avoid the lawsuit and call it a "beam sword." Before we begin, remember, I am a trained professional and also immortal. Do not try this at home. That's the whole point of this series. Do share, like, and subscribe though!"


(Masterweaver)

"...I cannot believe I'm doing this."

"Don't worry deary. If you're uncomfortable, you can just leave."

"Just leave—? HER? She's the reason we had to form this group in the first place!"

"The whole point of this group is to be comforting, understanding, and supportive. If she doesn't feel right being here—"

"No, it's fine, it's just... a little silly, you know? 'Gods Anonymous.'"

"Deities, dear. It's less denominational. And not all of us are really gods."

"Right, right. Okay. Hello, I'm Sunset Shimmer, the Spirit of Harmony and... I have over three hundred thousand worshipers worldwide."

"Three hundred thousand? Quite the burden. I've got my hands full with the three thousand children I have and, somehow, more are trickling in every day."

"That might be because of the whole counterpart thing. The Chrysalis of the other world is the queen of a eusocial species with all that that implies."

"Ahem, well. It's good to know the Wholesome will be completing so many lives."

"So your slutty cult is getting more sluts. Whoop-de-doo."

"Actually, Ahuizotl, the Wholesome believes in sharing all weakness to fill together all strength. How many children are in your flock?"

"....five."

"What? Only five? I mean, I'm not from this world but I would have thought the catgirl transformation would be more popular."

"Well, there's the whole 'sacrifice a cat to get the transformation' deal, and the fact that I'm apparently not as much of a god since I need an amulet to use my power... and my professional rival. She slandered me all the time before this."

"Don't worry, dear, I'm sure you'll get more kittens as you establish your beliefs...."

Author's Notes:

Some deities have holy texts. Sunset has a EweTube channel and a wiki.

Meanwhile, Mr. Discord has said that he will flunk any student he catches worshipping him.

"You Are" Song, by EonAon, FoME, and Masterweaver

(EonAon)

You're a mean one, Abby Cinch
You really are a heel
You're as cuddly as a cactus
And as charming as an eel, Abby Cinch
You're a bad banana
With a greasy black peel
You're a monster, Abby Cinch
Your heart's an empty hole
Your brain is full of spiders
You got garlic in your soul, Abby Cinch
I wouldn't touch you with a... thirty-nine-and-a-half-foot pole.
You're a vile one, Abby Cinch
You have thermite in your smile.
You have all the inner sweetness of a seasick crocodile, Abby Cinch.
Given the choice between you I chose the... seasick crocodile.

(FoME)

Principal Cinch had glared for most of the song, but by its end, she regarded Neon Lights with a serenity that lay on the other end of rage. "Detention, Mr. Lights," she said almost gently.

He swallowed and adjusted his shades. "How long?"

"I have yet to decide. We will see." Principal Cinch nodded to herself, turned on her heel, and almost glided out, her inner fury betrayed only by the occasional twitch.


(Masterweaver)

"In entertainment news," Adagio reluctantly grumped, "various record labels have come under fire for repeated lawsuits against heartsong riffs. Whinny has gone on record to state that any lawsuit filed in their name is to be immediately retracted, on the grounds that expecting artistic creativity from the majority of the populace while they are ensnared in harmony magic reveals a fundamental lack of understanding on how heartsongs work." She rubbed her forehead. "Meanwhile, dozens of musicians have received lawsuits for publishing heartsongs under their labels with unwitting people as participants in the performance... Shoo be glorfet do..."

"Yeah, this is going to get pretty ridiculous," Aria acknowledged.

"Glad this didn't happen back when we were the Dazzlings," Sonata quipped.

Oh Gods, by Masterweaver [Sex...?]

"...Are you good?"

"I... I'm better now," Sunset mumbled. "Thanks, Rarity, I--"

"Not a problem. I'll admit that you simply teleporting in was rather startling."

The other girl shivered.

"...do you want to talk about it?"

"...I..." Sunset finally broke off the hug, sitting on the edge of the dress-shop's showstage. "It's... okay, so... uh, you know I have... people who worship me, like a god, right?"

"Yes. Did you have a run-in with some zealots?"

"Not... exactly. See, magic is still rebalancing and, uh, accidental summonings..."

Rarity rose an eyebrow.

"They were married," Sunset explained. "And... really, really in love with each other."

"But what does that have to--oh. Oh my."

"There were ropes, and... and she was, bent like, and he, and... heat lamps... runes, I think a... plushie?"

"Ooooooh my."

"Three hours, they said."

"Oh." Rarity coughed. "Transporting into a complete stranger's room like that without any, uh, foreknowledge--"

"That's the worst part," Sunset whispered. "I knew one of them, a teacher at school..."

"I... think," Rarity managed, "that you just need to take a teensy little breath, figure out a way to lock down your summonings, and then have a small vacation. I'll cover for you in your classes. Does that sound alright?"

"Yeah. Yeah, that's... yeah..." Sunset hugged herself. "They shouldn't do that with tomatoes..."

Decepticon Panel Speaker, by FoME

Vinyl bobbed her head as she went down the stairs, the entry hall dim from the setting sun. As she reached for the front door, a harsh red light shone from behind her, and a monotone voice even more heavily modulated than her own spoke. "Unit dee jay pee zero en three. State destination."

Vinyl rolled her eyes as she turned around. "Wasn't funny the first time, Dad."

The hall lights went on with a clap, revealing a white-skinned man with close-cropped purple hair and a matching suit. Soundwave smiled as he extinguished the vivid glare from his head jewel. His voice remained the same. "What kind of father would I be if I didn't make terrible jokes?"

"The cool kind," Vinyl said, crossing her arms.

"I leave such matters to the professionals." Soundwave dipped his head at her.

Vinyl smirked. "You're damn right."

He scowled. "Language, young lady. And just where are you going?"

"Hangin' with my friends," Vinyl said with a shrug. "Got my phone, got my permit, got my sweet, sweet ride."

"Don't wear your sunglasses while driving, and be home by eleven."

Vinyl sputtered across three octaves before crying, "It's Friday night!"

Soundwave narrowed his eyes. "Be home by eleven or I send out the gnomes again."

She looked away, frowning. "Stuck in the cassette age."

"You wouldn't be here if it weren't for cassettes."

"I know, I know, most romantic mixtape ever." Vinyl sighed. "Fine. See you later, Dad."

"Have fun, sweetie."

Author's Notes:

I can neither confirm nor deny that Soundwave has a pet parakeet named Laserbeak.

Advanced Optics, by Tophe and Masterweaver

(Tophe)

"Wanna guess why Pony You doesn't wear glasses?"

"I'm blind as a bat without them, Rainbow. Assuming magical talking ponies don't have Daring Devil-based echolocation powers, she probably just wears contacts. Which probably aren't very comfortable if you have to put them in with hooves... I wonder how myopic pegasi manage."

"Nope, that's not it! I have here a text from Other Twilight herself saying she got hornbeam-eye surgery. And then two more asking what our word for hornbeam is."

"Fascinating. Well, mystery solved?"

"Wwwwwweeeeeeeeelllllllllllllllllllllllll..." grinned Rainbow over the course of five seconds.

"I saw that face when Pinkie was plotting the rock candy prank. It looks scarier on you."

"Okay, hear me out. Unicorns shoot lasers out of their horns - which, by the way, is totally awesome. You're part unicorn. So, I - "

"Are you about to suggest I perform high-energy magical surgery on myself, somehow shooting a laser from my forehead to my eye without hitting anything in-between, to fix a small cosmetic problem?"

"Oh yeah, didn't think of that. You'd have to use a mirror. Unless you can make your lasers curve."

"Rainbow, it would literally be less dangerous to request help from Mr. Discord."


(Masterweaver)

"...and that's when Rainbow changed tack, and, well, I did work with Mr. Discord a lot before I met you, and..."

Twilight sighed, awkwardly rubbing one of her four eyestalks.

Sunset facepalmed. "And that's why you have nine eyes now."

"I swear," Discord insisted, "I did not mean for this to happen."

Author's Notes:

Mr. Discord's degree is in physics, not biology.

Noise Complaint, by FoME

Twilight Sparkle cackled, once more aloft on wings of stolen magic. Five of the Rainbooms lay prone at her feet, and the sixth gaped in horror before her.

"How could you do this?" Sunset cried.

Twilight smirked. "I'm just applying the lessons you taught me, Sunset." The smirk became a sneer as she spread her arms wide. "After all, I couldn't have done this without my friends!"

"You're just making the same mistakes as before!"

"Oh, I won't deny that I've made some mistakes, but not the ones you mean. My first mistake was ever relinquishing this power. My second..." Twilight trailed off as she drifted closer, her mad grin softening as she cradled Sunset's chin in her hand. "My second was not sharing it with you to begin with."

Sunset blinked and felt herself flush. "W-what?"

"You come from a world of magic. You know precisely what we can do with this much of it at our fingertips. And you've tasted real power twice now." Twilight stroked Sunset's hand with her own, leaving lines of angry, demonic red in her wake. "Surely you're eager for a third time." Twilight gazed into Sunset's eyes. There was madness there, yes, but passion as well.

Sunset swallowed against her dry mouth. "I... I..."

"Celestia's cake-fattened rump, will you two just kiss already!?"

Both girls turned to see another, pajama-clad Sunset, her arms crossed, her eyes half-lidded, her ears pointed, and her forehead decorated with some kind of gemstone. "Honestly, people in other universes are trying to sleep."

Sunset's jaw dropped. "I... whuh?"

The other Sunset rubbed her temples. She muttered, "I really need to get Luna up to speed on dreamscape management," before taking a deep breath. "Okay, let me just check something." She shut her eyes, and her hair started dancing in an unfelt breeze as golden light streamed out from her shoulders like a cape. Phantom arms faded into translucency around her as her head started looking in all angles at once, making Sunset's eyes water.

After a few moments, the light show ended and the other Sunset shook her head, nearly losing her balance. "Don't know how Ditzy deals with that stuff. Okay, so we're just at a sort of polycosmic perigee. No risk of collision, which is good. But seriously, could you dream louder?" Her gaze shifted to Twilight, then her eyebrows rose. "On the other hand, if this is your power-mad Twilight, I can see why you're dreaming of her. Mine just looked like an angry anime character in her pajamas."

Twilight took a step away from Sunset and shrunk into herself, even folding her wings around her like a cloak.

The other Sunset turned back to the local. "Seriously, talk to her when you wake up. I don't think either of you will regret it." She yawned. "Anyway, I've got to go back to whatever passes for sleep for me anymore. And seriously, have some faith in yourself. You're one of the good guys now."

Sunset nodded slowly. "Um... sure."

Her other self gave her thumbs up, then faded into invisibility.

Sunset turned back to Twilight. "So, uh, what now?"

"I don't know. Apparently, I'm made of your deep-seated issues."

"Kiss!"

"Kiss!"

"And Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash are your id."

Hanging Out to Dryad, by Masterweaver

"...Fluttershy?"

"Mmmmm. Yes Rarity?"

"I can... understand that you're comfortable using your magic. And that you have a love of nature. And... and I'm glad that you're getting more confident."

"You're uncomfortable."

"Well... yes. I mean, there were always plenty of... well, nature girl jokes behind your back--"

"Understandable. The need to categorize is almost as fundamental to humans as the need to explore."

"Fluttershy, you've been out here for three weeks, and now I find you half naked, half tree, and--and there are literal bird's nests in your hair! I really don't want to come across as condescending, and I guess I'm partially motivated by missing you, but--don't you think you're taking this druid thing a little too far?"

"...three weeks?"

"Yes. Three weeks."

"...I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry you. I thought, it was summer vacation, and... well, I guess I just..."

"...just tell me your brother knows where you are."

"He does."

"Alright. I... can't stop you, I guess, but if anything goes wrong let him know."

Look! Up in the Sky! by FoME, Masterweaver, and archonix

(FoME)

Wonder Comics Headquarters

“Okay people, time to deal with the elephant in the room. What do we do?”

“What do you mean, boss?”

“The world’s changed, and we have to change with it. But that change is going to be rougher for some heroes than others. The staples aren’t anything special anymore. Flying, strength, magic, we’ve got people in this very room who can match some of the characters. So, what do we do? For that matter, what do we do with the Cinematic Universe, especially the ones midway through shooting?”

“All of Applewood has to worry about that one, boss.”

“And so do we. It’s just like that one line in The Amazings. Everyone’s super these days, and that just made a whole bunch of characters a lot less so. Heck, the Y-Men books just lost their main conflict. Everyone’s a mutant these days.”

“We could explore that.”

“Well, it’ll buy enough time to figure out something else to do, as long as we don’t turn it into another Clone Saga. Still, that’s one problem down, a hundred to go. Settle in, gentlemen. We’re in for a long night.”

SC Comics Headquarters

“All in favor of Filli-Second running fast enough to reboot the universe again?”

“Aye.” “Aye.” “Aye.” “Aye.”

“Fantastic. What’s for lunch?”


Shining Armor smirked. “Pretty sure that isn’t how it’s going to go, Dex.”

Poindexter scowled and adjusted his glasses. “Wait and see, Shining. You just wait and see."


(Masterweaver)

"In entertainment news--girls, do I really have to say this?" Adagio groaned.

Aria grinned. "Yep."

"This is stupid! This is stupider then the heartsong thing! This is literally the child of stupidity incarnate after it got knocked up by a drunken geek! Who is also stupid!"

"...Wait." Sonata tapped her chin. "Who in their right mind would incarnate stupidity? And what would it end up looking like anyway?"

Aria coughed into her sleeve.

"Huh? Oh right! Tangent. Entertainment news, Adagio."

"...in entertainment news," Adagio managed, "there have been a number of people arrested after they insisted they were... copyrighted... comic book characters. To be fair, they were arrested for vigilantism. The comic book industry is now... partnering with... this can't be right."

Aria tilted her head. "What?"

"...is now partnering with the police force to create a super hero training program."

There was dead silence for a moment.

"...I can not be the only person who thinks this is beyond stupid," Adagio said flatly.

"No," Aria managed, "I kind of find it stupid too."

Sonata twiddled her 'Marrina Was Innocent' button with a small blush. "Uh... it might not be all that stupid..."


(archonix)

"Really?"

Mr Discord steepled his fingers and smiled an all too friendly smile in Sunset's general direction. He turned his head to catch it a moment later and waggled his eyebrows. "Really."

"A supervillain school."

"Of course!" His smile broadened. "You did take great pains to lecture me about maintaining the balance of nature and magic in this world, my dear. There can be no light without darkness, no pleasure without pain."

"No up without down," Sunset supplied. She put her hands on her hips, but Discord only laughed at her interruption.

"No straightman without the clown," he continued, gesturing smoothly toward the motley assembly before them. "The moment these superheroes turned up it was inevitable that their mirror would appear too, yes? And frankly it seems unfair, nay unjust that they be allowed out into the world without a little guidance."

"Guidance. Discord..." Sunset pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. "You're training them to be bad guys."

"I most certainly am not! And I resent the implication that you think I'm somehow 'bad' as well. Being bad means following the rules."

"You used to be a physicist."

"And you used to be a horse," Discord shot back. He paused as Sunset raised her hand, but then she lowered it and sighed again. "And so we reach an impasse. I'm not teaching them anything about how to commit crimes or whatever other schemes your worryingly expanded mind is coming up with. Is it boredom that makes you so paranoid? If I were in your position—"

"You aren't! I am! And I'm not paranoid!" Sunset rubbed her temples this time. It had little effect – the headache she was feeling was only as real as she wanted it to be, which raised all sorts of ontological questions – but it gave her something to do for a moment. When she opened her eyes again, Discord was edging back toward the group, though one eye remained firmly fixed on her.

It was in his ear.

"What," she said, very carefully, while ignoring the mischievous grin that was now flitting about her head, "are you teaching them?"

Discord pouted. "Why, how to laugh, of course! A villain is nothing without his laugh."

"Or hers," Pinkie Pie yelled from the back of the room.

Sunset could only put her head in her hands.

Author's Notes:

SC once stood for Sleuth Comics.

Also, I'll just be over here squeeing my head off about archonix joining in. Don't mind me.

Two Geeks' Notice, by Masterweaver

"Alright, Mister Discord, who is it you want me to meet?"

"Don't get me wrong, Twilight, you've been an excellent student, but both you and I know we're moving into new stages in our life. So I decided to find a new assistant!"

"I... suppose that's fair. I'm a little hurt that I'm being replaced, but--"

"Ah-ah-ah. You're not being replaced. She is your replacement."

"...what's the difference?"

"The difference is that you're leaving by choice, not by force! And I couldn't be more proud of you if you became a chaotic spawn of nightmares."

"...you... do realize that I kind of--"

"No, that was an orderly spawn of nightmares. Completely different."

"Well.... I guess I appreciate the sentiment. So, who is it that you're replacing me with? An eager young teenager, or an older professor of exotic sciences?"

"Both! Twilight Sparkle, meet Sonata Dusk!"

"...."

"...."

"Didn't you try to kill me?"

"Oh, that was you? I'm sorry, I wasn't myself that day."

With Great Sour, by Masterweaver

Screams.

She remembered the screams. It wasn't like she could forget.

Her eyes darted up as she heard the door creak open, and she quickly pulled her hand off the gem in her forehead.

"SOOOOOOWHADDUPMAHGIRLAY!!" The newcomer skated over--and how the doctors had let her come in with her roller blades was a mystery for the ages--and twirled her head with a maniac grin. "GODDATHINGYAWANTED!!"

Somehow, the necklace she wore spun up her neck, around her head, and through her wildly flailing hair before landing in the lap of the unamused patient. "Gee, how thoughtful of you, Lemon Zest. You know what else would be thoughtful? Being quiet in a damn hospital!"

"YAGADDASPEAKUPGALPAL! IMMAJAMMINTATHAGREATS! SPEEEEEEEEDBOOST!" The intruder twirled, skated up a wall, and jumped over the doctor just entering the room as she made her escape.

"Sweet Chrysalis! Young lady, are you okay?!" The doctor rushed over, checking her bandages and IV drips. "I'm so sorry, she just--she flew past security and--"

"I'm fine you dunderhead! ...thanks for caring." With a sigh, she pushed the doctor away. "Can I have a little... privacy, please?"

"Oh, of course, I'm so sorry, I'll just..." The doctor backed out quickly, trying to gather his paperwork up.

She waited for a moment or two before picking up the pendant in her lap. A red and yellow sun, arranged in yin and yang... ironic enough, she supposed.

Her eyes darted around for a moment, making sure nobody else was around, or glancing through the door.

Then she brought the pendant up to her mouth. "I need you, Sunset Shimmer. I need you to kill me."

Time froze. There wasn't any other way to describe it, one moment the doctors were still chasing after Lemon Zest and the next she was hanging midway to an open window, her lightbow arcing from her shoulders in the sudden silence.

And Sunset Shimmer was there. Walking in through the door, eyes intense.

"Sour Sweet, what did you just say?"

"What, are you deaf?" She flung her arms wide. "I need you to kill me! Or at the very least get rid of this ruby on my head!"

The other girl rolled her eyes. "Look, I'm not the one who chose the pony aspects, alright? If you're unhappy with what you got--"

"Oh, no, I'm totally fine with new jewelry, I'm a teenage girl after all. But do you know what else I am? I AM A FUCKING SCHIZOPHRENIC!"

Sunset Shimmer blinked.

"Do you know how terrifying it is?" Sour Sweet crossed her arms. "Do you know how frightening it is to not be able to trust your own emotions? To hear voices, telling you the world isn't what it seems? And that's before the hallucinations. And if that were it, I'd be fine with the pills I had. I was doing pretty good for a while there, actually!" She smiled. "I got a boyfriend! I started babysitting again! Hell, some of my hallucinations were actually kind of sweet!"

"Sour--"

"And then I got this." She pointed at her forehead. "I don't know how this works, but before hand I knew the spiders weren't real. Now? Now the spiders become real. And they get big. And they tear through my home, and, and they attack people, and..."

She sighed. "I need you to kill me, Sunset. Or figure this out. I don't... I don't want to die anymore, but... I don't think I can live like this."

Author's Notes:

As I noted on the thread, I'm not sure whether this can't be canon or if it needs to be.

For those wondering about the boyfriend, I'm fairly certain that comes from Nico-Stone Rupan's demonstrations that enjoyable stories and the 2nd Person tag aren't mutually exclusive.

Comes Great Sweetsponsibility, by Masterweaver

Sunset sat down with a sigh.

"Oh, Ah know that look." Applejack sat down next to her. "What's up, girl? Another holy war?"

"No, it's..." Running her hands through her hair, the girl took a breath. "I don't know if I should talk about this, actually. It wasn't my problem, I just... fixed it."

Applejack shrugged. "If you don't want to talk, it's fahn."

"...okay. There was this girl, got the unicorn aspect--and she also has schizophrenia. Voices, hallucinations, whole nine yards." Sunset winced. "Thing is, her hallucinations fed into her magic and... yeah."

"Ooog."

"I did... she had a boyfriend, and I basically swapped their magic--pegasus for unicorn. I mean, she still has the gem, so nobody's going to ask how she changed unless she shows off, but..." Sunset held her hands out helplessly. "Things like that. Magic affecting people on a personal level. How should I... how should the world treat that?"

Applejack tilted her head. "What do you mean?"

"I mean... look, most people are treating magic like it's a Big Thing. New weapons or tech or... cultures. But here there was a case of magic being... tied to the person. Affecting them and only them. And... I don't know, is it a violation of privacy to... to notice things like that?"

"Well... Ah don't rightly know about privacy. Ah get the sneakin' suspicion that for you in specific, privacy means not talkin' bout everything ya notice. But..." Applejack shrugged. "Look, this girl, did she summon you?"

"Yeah."

"Then it sounds like she just needed somebody ta help her. Far as Ah'm concerned, that's all you need to know."

Sunset chuckled. "You're always so practical, aren't you."

"Eeeeyup."

"...I'm dreaming, aren't I?"

"Eeeeyup."

"....want to, uh... I mean..." Sunset blushed.

Applejack gave her a sly smile, and in a swift motion tore off her shirt to reveal the labcoat beneath. "Ah'm always up for science."

Author's Notes:

Breaking chronological order of submission for this one, since it directly ties into the previous one.

Also, I remain uncertain whether Sunset tapped Applejack's dreamscape, Applejack represents Sunset's own moral fiber, or if Twilight figured out dreamwalking and illusory disguises.

Mad Scientist's Best Friend, by EonAon and FoME

Later in the day the world was remade, another revelation worked his way down the stairs of Twilight Sparkle's home, trotted into the kitchen, and looked at the woman currently making dinner.

"Hi, Mrs. Velvet. Hey, is there any way I could get one of those bone biscuit things? Those taste great."

Twilight Velvet didn't even blink. She just sighed and shouted, "Twilight Sparkle! What have I told you about experimenting on the dog!?"

Velvet still handled the situation well even after her daughter explained the existence of parallel universes, her brief period as the incarnation of the fifth fundamental force, and never working with electroencephalograms with or without Mr. Discord. Sparkle was starting to something about dragons when Velvet up a hand.

"Let me just make sure I understand you correctly, dear. Spike can now talk? Permanently?"

Sparkle bit her lip and nodded. "I'm afraid so mother. I really don't know how it happened; I was exactly able to observe it. I definitely don't know how to undo it." She smiled, knelt down, and petted Spike. "Not that I want to."

"Then I guess we'll have to cancel that veterinarian appointment for next week, won't we?"

"Oh! Yes, I had completely forgotten about that. That's definitely a discussion I don't want to have with Spike now."

"Vet!? I remember that word," Spike said suspiciously. "What vet appointment?"

Sparkle forced a rictus grin. "Oh nothing, just a little checkup for my best assistant ever."

Velvet smiled as Spike guided her hand to the perfect spot behind his ears, but she turned serious when she looked back at her daughter. "Incidentally, does this have anything to do with why there was a hole in your bedroom wall this morning?"

The grin managed to grow even more forced. "Uh... Kind of?"

Orison, I Am Disappoint, by Masterweaver and FoME

(Masterweaver)

Sunset let her face hit her desk with a groan, raising her hand. "Miss Harshwhinny? Something importantly stupid just came up, I'm going to need to trance out for a bit."

The teacher clicked her fingers together. "Isn't the expression 'stupidly important?'"

"Trust me, I meant importantly stupid."

"And what, exactly, is this situation?"

"Some of my worshipers are starting a religious war over what I am," Sunset explained. "I'd rather not have a second Romane imperial collapse on my hands, if I could avoid it."

"Ah. Very well, you're free to negotiate and/or smack sense into them, as appropriate." The woman turned to the blue girl next to Sunset. "Miss Dash, I expect you to take notes for her while she's gone."

"Aw, c'mon!"


(FoME)

"In the end," Sunset said at lunch, "it was a dispute over whether my cutie mark is red with yellow parts or yellow with red parts."

"Really?" asked Pinkie.

"No, but it was equally unimportant." Sunset sighed as she picked at her pasta salad. "I never thought I'd say this, but I may need to write a holy text. Anyone want to provide a book?"

(Masterweaver)

"Does it have to be a book?" Dash whined. "I have... issues with books."

"Hey, yeah. If some of your worshipers have dyslexia--"

"Fine! I'll make holy vlog!"

In Her Image, by Masterweaver

She tugged the hood over her head, checking to make sure her distinctive hair wasn't exposed, before sticking her hands in her pockets and opening the van door.

Life had been hard for a while, she supposed, but recent events had forced her out on the streets in more ways then one. Which absolutely sucked--she had never needed to fake an identity before, and now she couldn't even get money without getting stares. Stares she hated. Stares she did not deserve.

A growl escaped her throat. All her hard work--all her research, all her politicking and putting up with paperwork and idiot coworkers--all her efforts to raise herself to somebody of import, somebody who had power and used it for the betterment of all--had been wiped away by some stupid teenager from another world. The board had been upended. The game had changed, new rules slapped on, and when the vision passed she had seen the way her partner was looking at her.

It was awe.

But it wasn't awe she had earned.

She'd run home. Packed up. Pulled everything from her accounts, put it on a cloud, and hopped in her car. She'd traded it at a dealership and never looked back.

Now she was roving the country, sleeping in a van, and making a living... through online art commissions. And maybe a diet of convenience store food wasn't what she was used to, but it was the best she could get at the moment. She'd learned to be more discerning of her purchases. She'd learned to cook things on a portable stove. She'd learned to park her car off the highway, staring at stars as she pulled her sleeping bag over her chest.

She avoided churches like the plague.

The worst part, in her mind, was that she couldn't actually blame the kid. Oh, sure, maybe she'd made some mistakes, and maybe this whole situation was her fault in the first place, but she did what she did to save the world. And every time she tried to hate her, every time she tried to come up with the emotions she should have... well, some well timed news report would come over the radio, or some bout of luck would hit her, or maybe she'd just be exhausted.

In the end, she just suffered through the days.

Slinging her groceries into the back seat, Sunset Shimmer revved up the engine of her van and drove on.

Under Development, by FoME

White.

It took quite some time before Microchips could focus on anything but the white. The sky and ground were a uniform, sterile white. There were no shadows, not even under his own feet, so the horizon blended together into a seamless whole that could've been five feet away or five million.

Not that there was much else to focus on. Not beyond the only other figure in the space, sitting in the lotus position and floating a few feet above the ground. It wore nothing, but had nothing to conceal. Its body was featureless and androgynous, and its flesh caught the sourceless light like plastic. It had no head or neck. Instead, above its shoulders floated a capital, serifed G. Squares of bright green or dead-screen blue flitted about it like moths around a lamppost.

The figure did not move, but Microchips felt an unmistakable sense of focus upon him. A voice, genderless and neutral, boomed from every direction at once. "You should not yet be here, User. Return to your sack of meat."


Microchips gasped as his eyes snapped open. The rest of the CHS computer club looked at him expectantly. "Well?" said Scribble Dee.

He looked at the search engine's home page warily. "The cybervisualization spell definitely works. Also, Gillion is definitely working on something similar."

Author's Notes:

Gillion is the local equivalent of Google. Apparently, the developing awareness prefers the old logo.

Beseech the Baconhead, by River Road

"Please?"

Sunset looked over the selection of bread before picking one and putting it in her shopping cart, not even glancing at the rainbow-haired girl. "No."

~~~~~

"Please?"

Sunset counted a few coins from her wallet and dropped them on the counter that Rainbow was leaning on, picking up her coffee and turning around with it. "No."

~~~~~

"Please?"

Sunset sighed and kept sweeping through the various types of dirt that an animal shelter generated, once again not looking away to acknowledge Rainbow. "No."

~~~~~

"Pleeeeaaase?"

Sunset sighed and stared harder at her book, trying to ignore her friend even with said friend practically hanging over her shoulder. "No."

"Pleeeeaaase?"

Her ear twitched at the voice of another one of her friends who was now apparently hanging over her other shoulder. "No. Pinkie, you don't even know what this is about."

"Yes I do."

"In that case, hell no."

Rainbow leaned forward a bit further, grinning. "Come on, Sunset. Just one day."

Sunset's eye twitched.

~~~~~

Rarity looked up from her salad, staring as Sunset quite literally dragged Rainbow and Pinkie through the cafeteria and towards their table. "Uhm..."

Sunset walked up to her, lifted the two girls who were trying not-so-hard to stifle their laughter, and dropped them into two empty chairs. "There. This is your fault, you deal with them." She turned on her heel and walked back the way she came, muttering under her breath.

Rarity blinked. "My fault? But what... oh." She looked at her two friends, who were still struggling to stop laughing. "Oh dear..."

Applejack snorted, giving Rarity a look that didn't hold the least bit of pity. "Told ya bringing that movie to movie night was a bad idea."

Rarity groaned and turned back to her salad. "I didn't consider the consequences. I just hope she won't stay mad for too long."

Rainbow pulled herself upright, chuckling a few more moments before she'd finally calmed down. "I don't know what you two mean. Spruce Almighty is a classic."

Author's Notes:

"Why not?"

"Besides it being a terrible idea? The universe would probably collapse in a matter of seconds. Divinity isn't a toy, Dash."

(I was going to call this chapter "Divine Inspiration," but I thought that would be too much of a spoiler. For those of you who don't get the joke, Bruce Almighty is a story about a man (Jim Carrey) who God (Morgan Freeman) endows with all of His powers. The man then proceeds to learn the mantra of Spider-Man.)

The Old Guard, by Masterweaver

"I really have to thank you for this," Ahuizotl grunted. "I would never have been able to handle this on my own."

"Well, the Wholesome is all about completing the self with others," Chrysalis acknowledged. "Although I'm afraid I will have to discuss compensation at some later point. So many of my children..." She trailed off.

Sunset rubbed the gem in her forehead. "I'm kind of amazed that there was an entire lost pantheon. If it weren't for the Power Patriots and Discord coming in at the last minute... is there any other ancient magic I should be made aware of?"

Twilight coughed. "Um. There are... lots of legends. And myths." She rubbed the back of her head. "Across the entire world."

"Great." Sunset groaned. "Is there any possibility of another Quetzalcoatl incident?"

"...there's the concept of Ragnarok," Twilight allowed. "And... well, there are many old stories about magical beings retreating to other worlds, but I thought that might be explained by the portal... there's also Neighponese mythology, which is flat out weird--"

"You know, once upon a time I thought it would be awesome to ascend," Sunset deadpanned. "Now I realize how much work it really is." She let her head drop to the table. "Twi, just... do me a favor and compile a list of dangerous creatures in order of most to least, so I can figure out how to handle this."

Author's Notes:

Before anyone asks, no, the usual myth for the origin of the islands of Neighpon is not canon to the Oversaturated World. And no, I'm not going into further detail. I'd have to raise the story rating if I did.

Xenocurious, by Masterweaver and FoME [Sex]

(Masterweaver)

"....Sooooooooo."

"Yeah...."

Sweetie Drops wrung her hands. "I... can't... exactly say this is a surprise. I mean, you told me about... running away from home."

"Yeah."

"And what just happened with Sunset and... magic, and all that..."

"...This... this is going to make things awkward, isn't it?"

"...Lyra, I'm socially conditioned to view sexual intimacy with nonhumans as very much taboo. And even if I push past that--which I'm willing to try--it's just... well---"

She gestured helplessly at the small green unicorn, who folded back her ears. "O-oh..."

"Nonono!" The cream girl rushed over and hugged her. "I want us to work, I do, I just--this mental block. I have to push past it, is all--"

"It's kind of weird for me too," Lyra pointed out. "I mean, I've been a human since I was five. It's been ages since I had hooves..."

Sweetie Drops leaned back. "...do you... do you want to stay human? Or unicorn, or--"

"I want to be human. This is... this isn't bad, but it isn't... me." Lyra shook her head. "Can you call Sunset? Maybe she can fix this..."


(FoME)

Meanwhile, in Equestria...

Bonbon perked up as she heard the door ring. "Gooood morning, and welcome to Bonbon's Bonbons!"

Pinkie Pie returned the grin. "Good morning to you too! You seem super double chocolate chipper today, which is appropriate, since I need twenty gallons of chocolate syrup."

"Right away." Bonbon hummed to herself as she went into the storeroom and rolled the drum to the register. "Remember, this is a few hundred pounds, so watch where you roll it."

Pinkie saluted. "Not a problem. Though you never did tell me where you get these magihazard-safe drums."

"Trade secret. Put it on the Cakes' account?"

"Yuh huh. We just got one of those fancy Istallion coffee machines." Pinkie sprang up and proclaimed, "Today is Latte Day!" She paused in midair. "Wait, you didn't know that." She slowly drifted back to the floor, her briefly interrupted smile back in place. "So why are you so happy?"

Bonbon gave a fond sigh. "Fingers are amazing."

Author's Notes:

"Wait, where's Lyra?"

"Unicorn stamina is less amazing. The ape body only helps so much."

Where Parallel Lines Cross Over, by Tophe

Focused as she was on the game, Ditzy didn't notice the orange hand on her shoulder until it rudely yanked her two feet into the sixth dimension. Hocus Pocus cards scattered everywhere, including outside of Euclopean space. The other two players just sat stunned.

As soon as she got her bearings, Ditzy whirled angrily onto the alicorn girl. "What's the idea? If you wanted to talk, you could have just asked!"

Sunset examined her intensely, from every angle including some that weren't conventionally perceptible. "Ditzy, have you felt particularly giant-monsterish lately?"

"Or at least given me a second's warning... Giant-monsterish? Really?"

"Have you recently had too many tentacles and not enough heads?"

"Uh, no."

"Consumed the substrate of reality to fuel your powers?"

"Not particularly."

"Noticed the laws of physics ceasing to apply to you?"

"No more than usual."

Sunset glared. "What do you mean, usual?"

"I can fly."

"Doesn't count."

"I can fly in seven dimensions."

"Anything else?"

"I was baking yesterday, and the muffins burned in less than five minutes. That's definitely against the laws of physics."

A worried expression flickered across Sunset's face. Branches of the Tree, she's actually considering it. "That was a joke, Sunset."

Sunset didn't laugh, and finished her examination in grim silence. "Everything seems fine. As far as I can tell, you're perfectly normal."

"I consider that an insult. So what'd you drag me away from lunchtime gaming for?"

"One of your alternates got in trouble. The sort of trouble that ends with annihilation of all sentient life and the digestion of reality. I don't have a good grasp of the resonance between different multiversal instances of the same person - destiny magic is impossible to study in a controlled environment - so I had to get you out of the world, just in case you'd gotten into a parallel situation. Our universe isn't stable enough to support that kind of power, your presence would have caused irreparable damage to the local area." Ditzy's mouth hung open in horror. "Oh, your alternate's fine, by the way."

"... when you say fine, is that technically fine or actually fine?"

"Actually fine."

Author's Notes:

Here's your context. Sunset may not privy to everything that happens in all possible Equestrias, but some events are hard to miss.

Also, Ditzy was able to recover the cards she'd dropped outside of conventional spacetime.

Criffleball, by Masterweaver

"Helloooooooooo sports fans! Welcome to the first Criffleball tournament! I'm Spot On."

"And I'm Smooth Voice. Well, seems like we've got quite the line up here, don't we Spot?"

"Indeedily do. Not only do we have the Canterlot Cardinels, the original inventors of Criffleball, we also have their rivals, the Crystal Catfighters, and fourteen other teams from across the country."

"The Cardinals and the Catfighters have agreed to start at opposite ends of the brackets, for sake of fairness, and--ah, here come the Cardinel's first opponents, the Appleoosa Apricots."

"I can't begin to tell you how much of a challenge the Apricots are going to face, they've always run a solo-caster lineup and that will make it near impossible to counter Rainbow Dash's excellent sweep-play. Still, they're a strong team overall."

"The players are moving into position. Hold on. That's new."

"Indeed. The Apricots have abandoned their usual seige-form for a spread out. No idea what they're thinking."

"Could be aiming to rush. And there's the whistle! They're off!"

Author's Notes:

This should've gone up last week. My bad. :twilightsheepish:

In any case, Masterweaver describes Criffleball as "a combination of dodgeball, tug of war, and rugby played in three dimensions with magic thrown in." Rules and terminology can be found here. I'm sure the video games are already in development in the Oversaturated World.

Good Vibrations, by FoME

After Sugarcoat’s confession, she and Lemon Zest found themselves going to Canterlot on a somewhat frequent basis. It was easy to despise a caricature of stupid, lazy public school kids, but much harder to hate those who’d offered a sympathetic ear and covering the cost of your therapeutic sundae.

After a few outings, the four girls agreed to ask Twilight to the next one, the awkwardness having fallen to acceptable levels. With Dash occupied with a team practice, it was just the Crystal Prep girls, Pinkie, Twilight, and Sunset sitting in Sugarcube Corner.

“Tell me more about this technology empathy phenomenon,” said Twilight.

Lemon bobbed her head from side to side. “Not exactly easy to describe, you know? It’s like this whole other sense.”

Sugarcoat nodded. “The classic example of trying to describe red to a blind person applies. Though it lies more between hearing and, as you said, empathy.”

“And stuff just happening.” Lemon tapped the headphones hanging around her neck. “The sound quality on these babies has never been better.”

“And I was already drawing up party cannon blueprints even before Maud got rock powers!” added Pinkie. “I’d never been able to make the idea gel before the Fall Formal.”

Sunset screwed up her face, though some of that might have been the extra-thick milkshake. “It’s weird. I didn’t study much earth pony magic in Equestria, but I definitely never heard of any kind of technological rapport.”

“Could it be an emergent property of combining equine and human magic?” said Twilight.

“Possibly. I’ll have to ask Princess Twilight. I suppose I could experiment with it myself, but I’d rather keep myself to what I already understand.”

Sugarcoat gazed at nothing for a moment. “Picturing Twilight as royalty still feels… surreal.”

“Especially magic horse royalty,” added Lemon.

Sunset chuckled. “Ninety percent of the time, she’s a bigger dork than this one.” She jerked a thumb at a smirking Twilight.

“Gee, thanks.”

“And the other ten?” said Sugarcoat.

Sunset gave a serene smile that seemed better suited on some saffron-robed monk. “That’s when you see why and how she became magic horse royalty.”

Hello.” The word came out as a long, deepening glissando, disrupting the moment. Everyone turned to see Vinyl Scratch all but draping herself over Lemon Zest. “You come here often?”

Lemon’s face flickered through several emotions: shock, confusion, intrigue. “Dude, is your voice Auto-Tuned?”

Vinyl smiled. “You know it, baby.”

Octavia came up to Sunset, frowning quizzically. “What precisely is going on here?”

Sunset gave a quiet gasp. “Just how many prosthetics does Vinyl have?”

“More than she likes to admit.”

“Would you say she qualified as more technological than biological?”

“I’d say that’s a rather personal matter for her.” Octavia smirked. “And she’d probably classify herself as ‘musical’ before either of those.”

“Ah.” Sunset nodded. “That’d do it. I think she may qualify as a speaker system for the purposes of Lemon Zest’s magic.”

“Well, it would explain why she’s been more…” Octavia cleared her throat. “Well. Never you mind. How do we stop it?”

“I don’t think we can. Musicians with earth powers are her catnip.”

“I am not sure how to feel about this.”


Octavia sat on her side of Vinyl's basement, taking a moment to let her retelling sink in. "And that was when you started commenting on the smell of her hair."

Vinyl's jaw hung open. The sound that came out was somewhere between a struck tuning fork and the Emergency Broadcast System.

"Quite. Sunset said something about sensory overload, you never encountering something quite like that before. Now that you've experienced it, you should be able to acquit yourself with greater dignity in the future."

Blushing bright red, Vinyl nodded so fast that her glasses nearly flew off.

A Different Sort of Summoning, by Masterweaver [Suggestive Content]

Sunset stared at the paper in her hands.

Sunset stared. At the paper. In her hands.

Sunset. Stared.

At. The. Paper.

In. Her. Hands.

....no, not even dramatically emphasizing it made it any more incredulous.

Almost without thinking, she snapped her fingers--and immediately six very confused teenage girls were in the living room with her.

"Before you complain about me stealing you away from whatever," she said quickly, "I need you all to confirm that this thing that I am holding is real."

Applejack peered over her shoulder. "...is... that a court summons?"

Sunset's shoulders sagged. "Yeah. I'm not hallucinating this, am I?"

"Violations of... religious and magical law?" Rarity read.

Twilight took the paper and unfolded it. "Well, that's... quite a list."

"Eh, some people will lawyerize anything," Pinkie said with a shrug. "I mean, I remember this one time I baked a totally awesome cake—"

"Okay, since I'm the blunt one I'm just going to say it. Fluttershy, why are you naked?"

At Rainbow Dash's words, everyone turned to the girl who had hastily wrapped herself in a quilt with Sunset's mark on it, only just now noticing the tattooed lines on her face.

"...I, uh..." Fluttershy blushed. "I... miiiiiight have been practicing a druidic ritual to connect myself to the feeling of nature while in the depths of a local forest." She coughed. "But, yes, that is kind of a ridiculous lawsuit."

Sunset blinked. "Oh. Sorry for interrupting that. I'll just... send you back now if you need it?"

"That would be nice, yes."

With a snap of Sunset's fingers, the now empty quilt fell to the ground. She turned to the others. "So. Anybody else pulled from something important?"

A general casual negative reaction was given.

"Okay. So... Lawsuit. Against me... I mean, what." She threw up her hands. "What."

Author's Notes:

I checked with Masterweaver. He has no idea who filed the suit. I invite you to speculate.

Sect Maniacs, by FoME

Certain constants persist across all instances of a given person, and one of them is that Twilight Sparkle will always be concerned about tardiness. This particular Twilight could teleport to Canterlot High moments before the first bell… in theory. In practice, that required enough power to leave her giddy, exhausted, and in no condition to pay attention for several class periods. Instead, she rode a bus that got her there a good half an hour before the school day began. Sometimes, she saw faculty driving or flying to work.

Today, she saw Sunset Shimmer repeatedly hitting her head against the Wondercolt statue’s plinth.

Twilight teleported to her side and grabbed her shoulders. “Sunset! Stop! What’s wrong?”

Sunset swung her head forward again, though much more slowly, just resting it against the marble. She sighed. “It’s nothing important. Just really stupid.”

“Are you okay?”

“Fine. Magical reinforcement.”

Twilight felt some tension leave her. “Is it the lawsuit?”

“No, that cleared itself up pretty fast.” Sunset straightened up and ran a glowing hand over the thin cracks in the statue, mending them. She turned around, revealing a wholly unmarred face. “Since no one’s actually drafted any magical laws other than my suggestions and most religions and I have agreed to mutual non-interference—“

“Don’t you fight malicious deities?”

“Yeah, but gods aren’t religions. Point is, no court on the planet would actually rule on the suit. Plus, I still don’t know who filed the thing in the first place.” Sunset grimaced. ”I guess I could find out, but that would be horribly invasive.”

“Then what’s wrong?”

Sunset sighed again as she slumped against the statue. “Do you follow my magic safety vlog?”

Twilight sat next to her. “Yes, but I don’t check EweTube that regularly. Why?”

“Well, I’ve covered the most obvious dangers, so I thought it would be a good idea to talk about Equestria. Give people some context, show them a culture that developed with magic and the need to use it responsibly.”

Twilight nodded. “Seems reasonable.”

“Of course, just talking about a place no one’s ever seen wasn’t going to work well, so I included some visual aids. Your counterpart took some photos of towns and ponies that I included in the video.” Sunset gave a tired grin. “You really should watch it. You’d love it.”

“I will. So, what went wrong?”

Sunset tilted her head back and groaned. “I underestimated the stupidity of the Internet.”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Let me guess: There’s porn.”

That got a snort. “Yeah, but I expected that. See, I also showed everyone what I looked like back home.” Sunset’s headgem lit up, and a three-dimensional illusion of an adorable little unicorn manifested before the two girls, standing at about eye level.

A high-pitched squeak slipped out of Twilight’s mouth. She covered it, but couldn’t hide her wide-eyed wonderment. Her hands muffled her words a bit. “It’s like it’s specifically designed to appeal to the part of my psyche that’s still six years old.”

Sunset chuckled. “Yeah. Though if I went home now, I’d probably be taller and have wings. Still, about forty percent of the comments were about cuteness. Or diabetes, which apparently counts.”

Twilight folded her hands in her lap, gripping her hands in one another so she wouldn’t try to pet the illusion. “So, what went wrong?”

“Well,” said Sunset, bitterness creeping into her voice, “it seems there’s a new branch of Shimmerism now.”

“What?”

“In a matter of hours, people decided they’d rather worship me as a unicorn than me as a human. And this group is calling themselves, I kid you not, ‘The Church of the Divine Bacon Horse.’” Sunset shook her head. “So, yeah. That’s why I’m beating my head against a wall.”

After a few seconds, Twilight said, “Honestly? I’m tempted to join you.”

Author's Notes:

Inspired by this video review of Sugarcatharsis (Relevant bit starts at 1:36.)

Heroes of the Tropical Storm, by Maran

“Apple Bloom, get in here!” yelled Granny Smith.

From another room, Apple Bloom immediately hollered, “Ah didn't do it this time!”

“Ah know that,” replied Granny. “Ah jus' reckoned you and yer pals would wanna see these flyin' folks breakin' up a hurricane.”

Her granddaughter walked into the living room, followed by Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle.

Granny waved her hand at the TV. “See, after all the bad news lately, here's a story 'bout folks usin' their powers for good!”

Sweetie smiled as she watched the pegasus-aspected people zoom over the giant mass of clouds. “That's really cool.”

Scootaloo, however, looked disappointed as the scene switched to a satellite view. “That's nice, I guess.”

Granny turned and gazed at the girl with sympathy. “Ah'm sorry child, Ah didn't think how it'd make ya feel to watch folks flyin' when you're . . .”

“It's not that.” Scootaloo quickly shook her head. “I never expected to have magic powers at all, so I'm happy with what I've got.”

“Then what is it?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Well, when Granny Smith said they were breaking up a hurricane, I imagined them slicing it like a pizza.” She moved her palm vertically in a cutting motion. “But all they're doing is spreading out the clouds and slowing down the wind before it hits the coast. It's a bit of a let down.”

Apple Bloom tilted her head and stared at the map of the Baltimare area smothered in clouds. “Slice it like a pizza? That sounds mighty dangerous and impractical.”


Meanwhile, just outside of Baltimare . . .

“Private Dust, what in Hades were you thinking?”

Lying secured on a stretcher, Lightning Dust's gaze meandered vaguely in Captain Spitfire's direction, but didn't quite make contact with her eyes. “I just wanted to break up the storm as fast as possible. Ma'am.”

“After I specifically ordered you not to try to slice it like a pizza!” Spitfire paced alongside the stretcher as the emergency technicians pushed the Lightning Dust into the hospital.

“It wasn't like slicing a pizza.” The private shook her head and winced at the motion. “It was like punching a ball of dough.”

“A ball of dough the size of three commonwealths that was whizzing around at a hundred miles an hour,” retorted Spitfire.

Lightning Dust drew a raspy breath and sighed. “Yeah, that's a good way to describe it.”

“Well, if you're ever dumb enough to live through another stunt like that, I'll kill you.”

“Fair enough.”

Author's Notes:

Sadly, this one's pretty noncanon... though not entirely. Most weather takes place above safe altitudes, but people might be able to directly interact with major vortex systems. That said, Lightning Dust is probably around Dash's age.

Metamorphosis, by Masterweaver

"Okay. First question: How."

"Well, while Sour Sweet hasn't actually joined the Wholesome, she did drop by our dream-world hub, we got to talking, and she mentioned what you did for her--"

"That's not how, that's why."

"Fine. It turns out that I, too, can 'exchange' magic between individuals. Something about love entanglement, I think, or maybe just my shapeshifting."

"Alright. Continue with why."

"Well, while my religion is known for our sexual practices, those are actually derived from our social practices. It is our belief that everyone is born incomplete, and that completion only comes from others. This, this is a way for others to complete each other in a non-sexual manner."

"...surprisingly, I can see that... and you're not just shifting people for giggles?"

"No. I can't just shift one person's magical trait, it has to be an exchange... and I haven't tried unwilling exchanges, yet. It might be possible, but I don't want to go down that moral grey area. Everyone that comes for the service has to find a partner, and I do check that it's not just 'forehead gems are cooler' or 'I wonder what it would be like to fly,' it has to be a genuine need and a genuine service."

"Okay. Maybe it's just my Equestrian social conditioning making me see this as creepy. But... I guess you seem to be responsible with this..."

"Of course. I'm a full grown adult, caring for hundreds of my children."

"Just... keep me posted with the switching, okay? I got a prayer from a trans-tribe kid who was afraid to go home after swapping his lightbow for super strength. Nothing bad came out of it, thankfully, but..."

"Ah, yes, that. Alright, I'll keep you in touch."

Divine Comedy, by CrossRedstone and FoME

(CrossRedstone)

“—and it was going just fine! How should I know the cloud would discharge a lightning bolt, roasting our TV?!” Rainbow Dash complained, finishing her story.

The other girls, even Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie, could only facepalm at their friend’s latest attempt of a prank. Apparently, the rainbow haired girl thought it would be a good idea to wake her father up with a raincloud. Only this cloud had been fully electrically charged and well, the results spoke for themselves.

“Honestly, Rainbow Dash. Did you even consider what you could have done with your carpet?” Rarity chided. Everyone looked.

“What?” Rainbow deadpanned. “The carpet?”

“Why, yes! Don’t you know how easily it can be damaged, when—” That was as far as Rarity got, when suddenly the window to the music room was broken from an outside force, which came in form of a red and yellow blur. Everybody jumped in surprise, letting out various shrieks, their gazes fixed on the spot where the blur landed. As soon as the dust settled, they saw it was their friend and now goddess Sunset Shimmer lying on the ground, eyes unfocused and letting out groans of pain.

“Urrgh, the pain… is real…”

“SUNSET!” Everyone exclaimed, rushing to her side.

“Can you hear me?”

“Are you alright?”

“What happened?!”

“Doctor, we need a doctor!”

“Stop!” Sunset shouted, before her friends got any more hysterical. She pushed herself up from the ground and dusted off her clothes. “I’m fine girls. See? No bruises.”

The girls were of course relieved to see her okay, but that still begged one question.

“What in Tartarus just happened?!” Twilight exclaimed. “What did you do?”

Sunset shook her head, some glass shards falling out of her hair. Upon noticing the damage she did, she fixed everything, before telling the girls.

“Well, I came up with a few of my own theories of Pinkie’s... let’s say unique magic.” Everybody flinched immediately. “H-hey! I took all necessary precautions! I put myself in a dimensional space pocket, put a dimensional space pocket in the space pocket, repeated the process four times, got myself some survival gear and a helmet.”

“A helmet.” Twilight deadpanned. “And what was the survival gear for?”

“In case I landed in another dimension, where all magic is nullified for some reason.” Sunset explained. “Besides, it contained things I may have forgotten.”

“I can list two hundred fifty three.” Twilight stated.

“Moving on” Sunset made a gesture “in short, I couldn’t figure it out, so I came back and was just on my way to school, when I got hit by a car.”

….

….

“Wait, wut?” Applejack blinked. “Ya got hit by a car?!”

“Yeah, aren’t you supposed to know everything that’s happening and going to happen and has happened, has not happened, but happened anyway and might happen, if not mmmph, mm, mmmph…”

Rainbow put a hand on Pinkie’s mouth.

“You got hit. By a car. YOU of all people.”

“Well the experience was...enlightening. I now know how Pinkie’s magic works, having accidentally used it for the first time myself.”

Twilight teleported in front of Sunset, a crazy grin on her face and her hair looking just a little astray.

“Tell. Me. EVERYTHING!!”

“I-I-I’m not sure, Twi!” Sunset stammered. “That knowledge might prove to be-”

“TELL ME!!”

“Alright, alright, fine.” Sunset took a few steps back, breathing in and out.

“Okay here it comes. Pinkie’s magic basically is…”

Everyone looked at her in anticipation.

“Cartoon logic.”

(FoME)

Pinkie rolled her eyes. "Well, duh."

Sunset blinked. "What?"

"I'm going to need more detail than— Hold on." Twilight glared. "You're telling me that you, the sole stabilizing influence on what is still a very fragile universe, performed an experiment that could've shunted you out of that universe?"

Sunset met her gaze with nary a flinch. "It would've been a very small fraction of my power and awareness. Besides, after all of my safety precautions, the odds of that happening were around one in sixteen trillion." She turned to Pinkie. "Now, what do you mean, 'duh'?"

"You have to admit, Sunset," said Rarity, "'cartoonish' is certainly one of the first words that come to mind when describing Pinkie's antics." The others nodded.

Sunset flushed. "In my defense, Equestria doesn't really have animation, and I was too busy feeling superior to the techno-barbarians to take in much pop culture before you all rainbowed some sense into me."

Twilight quirked an eyebrow. "'Techno-barbarians'?"

"This was back when I was queen bitch of CHS."

"Sounds pretty cool to me," said Dash. "Like a bunch of guys with titanium loincloths and chainsaw-axes."

"Remind me to tell you about Hyperspace Hyperwars some time," said Twilight. She turned to Sunset. "Now, if you could elaborate on what you meant by 'cartoon logic'—"

"Nope!" Pinkie interposed herself between them, an arm stuck out to either side. "You two are not having that discussion."

Twilight and Sunset looked over Pinkie's shoulder, each seeing a confused look on the other. "What?" said both.

Pinkie turned to face Sunset. "Think about it. You're basically a god."

Sunset looked away. "Only by certain definitions of the term."

"Someone hit you with their car."

"You're still on that?" Sunset rolled her eyes. "Look, the driver and the car are both fine, and I just bruised my ego. Plus, I did manifest in the middle of the road."

Pinkie nodded. "Yes. You, mistress of this world, popped in where you didn't mean to." She leaned in close. "This is dangerous magic, you're toying with Sunset."

"But—"

"Butts are for sitting. Trust me on this one. Leave. Comedy. To the professionals. Do you understand?" Pinkie's voice echoed with those last words, her eyes azure pools of light.

Sunset nodded, in a similar state. "Yes, Laughter."

Applejack cleared her throat. "Anyone else gettin' real creeped out?"

"I've got this." Twilight put a hand on each glowing-eyed girl's shoulder. "Alright, you two, snap out of it. You're flesh and blood, not intangible concepts." She gave each a shake for good measure.

Sunset blinked and shook her head, her eyes back to normal. "Right. Thanks."

"Good thing, too," Pinkie said, all smiles. "If I were an intangible concept, how could I eat cake?"

A Juicy Story, by Maran

“And it must be a slow news day because Sonata has a story about food.” Adagio gave the camera a deadpan stare before turning to her co-anchor.

“Actually Dagi, I'm not reporting on food because it's a slow news day,” answered Sonata with a winning smile.

“Don't call me Dagi.”

Sonata shrugged. “Whatever sinks your boat. As I was saying, it's not a slow news day. This is my new segment, Sonata's Food News, where I report the latest trends in the food and restaurant business.” Staring directly into the camera, she continued, “If you've gone grocery shopping, eaten out, or bought any food at all over the past few months, you probably experienced sticker shock at how cheap it is. The reason for that is, of course, magic. Earth-aspected farmers are growing larger crops more frequently in a wider range of growing zones. A bigger supply with the same demand equals lower prices. So entrepreneurs in the food industry are developing unique new foods to make up for lost profits. Canterlot's own Berry Punch Vineyard has the new Triple Grape Surprise. I can't see it, but there should be a digitally imposed image of a giant grape next to my head. They look like plum-sized red grapes on the outside, but inside are three layers of different varieties: red, green, and purple. With three times the antioxidants and fiber, this is one super duper food! It also makes a pink wine which I've heard pairs well with desserts.

“Not to be outdone, Sweet Apple Acres created a new Cinnamon Swirl Gala Apple, which you should see to my left. What's amazing about this fruit is that the cinnamon flavor typically comes from the bark of the cinnamon tree, yet they got it to swirl inside these apples. They're planning on unveiling even more cinnamon varieties this fall.

“But it's not just earth-aspected people who are getting creative with food. Donut Joe, a unicorn-aspected baker, has the Frozen Custard Donut. As the name suggests, it looks like a regular filled donut, but the filling is frozen custard! The donut stays warm on the outside and cold on the inside. So now you can eat frozen custard for breakfast and feel only a little bit weird about it.

“Health officials and medical schools are barely beginning to study the impact of magic on human health. There is also intense debate among experts who care about such things over whether any food can truly be certified organic these days. There's no doubt that the new varieties of fruit are unnatural, but even normal-looking food is probably infused with passive magic. But I say magical people should eat magical food! Then again, I'm a humanoid sea monster, so what do I know? I'm Sonata Dusk and that's your food news for today.” She folded her hands with exaggerated primness and turned toward her co-anchor. “Back to you, Ms. Adagio Dazzle, my esteemed colleague.”

Adagio rolled her eyes. “If you're trying to get me to say that I'd prefer to be called Dagi, your efforts are wasted. I do have one question though.”

“You're going to ask me why I didn't mention tacos, aren't you?”

“No, actually I want to ask why you're here when you have your new job as a mad scientist's lovely assistant.”

“I can do both!” exclaimed Sonata in an indignant tone. “Why couldn't I do both?”

“Maybe because you can't even do one job right,” replied Adagio, smirking.

Sonata put her hand over her heart in a theatrical gesture. “You wound me, Ms. Dazzle! I thought we respected each other.”

Adagio's smirk soured as she clenched her fists. “Respect? You tazed me, your leader, and you call that respect?”

“Yep! And you're lucky the director only lets me do that once a week. Now here's Aria with the for-realsies news . . .”

Paler Living Through Chemistry, by Masterweaver

"...which is when Mac walked in. Ya'll can figure out what happened next."

Rarity rolled her eyes. "Well, I'll have a talk with Sweetie Belle, I can guarantee that. Oh!" She reached out and pulled a jar from the shelves. "I didn't know the De Lis company was making skin creams!"

Applejack snorted. "Rares, Ah don't think ya need any skin creams."

"That's kind of you to say, but as a designer in training I simply must keep up with the trends." Rarity flipped the jar in her hand. "Ingredients: acai, hydroquinbione, alpha-lipoic acid--"

"Hold up." Applejack took the jar. "What was that?"

"Alpha-lipoic acid. It's a natural part of biology, which--"

"No, no, Ah'm talkin' bout the hydroquinbione!" The cowgirl groaned as she read the label. "In a skin cream? That's just askin' for trouble."

Rarity blinked. "I've... never really heard of hydroquinbione before. Why are you reacting so strongly?"

"When Ah was a girl, there was a time where our money was hit hard. Ma and Pa bought some soap for me on the cheap--had hydroquinbione in it." Applejack gestured at herself. "Washed the chromelanin right out of me. Now Ah only got ordinary melanin."

"Oh... that would explain why you're so pale," Rarity mused, examining her friend. "...But you're still quite lovely, nonetheless!" she rallied quickly.

Applejack half smirked. "No need ta hide it, Rares, Ah know Ah'm a freak. Course, now Ah'm worried bout this skin cream."

Rarity nodded, taking the jar and putting it delicately back on the shelf. "I'll set up an online petition, get the De Lis company to know about this. Right now, we should talk to the manager..."

Author's Notes:

For those new to the term "chromelanin," you can read my dissertation on the subject here.

Also, hydroquinone is in fact a topical skin whitener.

Fighting Homonormativity, by Masterweaver

"So... hey."

A feeling of greeting.

"...Just so we're clear, you... used to be, uh... a necklace?"

Clarification. Plurality.

"Right, three necklaces, I heard. Um. So... My name's Spike."

Understanding.

"...You have a name?"

Confusion... then, reluctantly, sorrowful negative.

"Oh. How about.... Stonesong? I know it's not that creative but--"

Eager acceptance.

"Oh. Stonesong it is. How have you been doing?"

Sorrow, but tinged with hope. Curious probing.

"Me? Oh, I'm... well, still kind of coming to grips with myself, to be honest. I mean, I wasn't stupid before, I could get feelings and basic concepts, but now I can count and... understand abstractions. You know?"

Amusement, teasing.

"Yeah, yeah, but... you heard about the dolphins right?"

Negativity.

"Well, the dolphins were apparently always intelligent or, you know, at least borderline. With the burst of magic, though, they're finally able to talk and they're... doing politics now. And..."

Gentle, concerned probing.

"...Look, I'm the only thinking dog. At least, I am for now. But if it was done once, it will be done again, and... it's not just uplifts. It's constructed minds, and, uh, things like you that... act, even when humans didn't notice."

Understanding.

"I... I just don't want things to change, you know? I like being a dog, being a pet, but if I... if I become a citizen, that's... I don't know."

Comfort. Reassurance.

"Heh... yeah...."

Author's Notes:

"Thanks for setting this up, Maud."

"I'm very passionate about nonhuman rights. And rocks."

Citrus Blend, by Masterweaver

Author's Notes:

I think I'll just let Weaver explain himself:

So I noticed an inconsistency between some of these snips, and I've decided to correct it in the most ludicrously stupid way possible.

"Oh yeah, neck-fluff is totally hard to keep clean," Lemon Zest agreed.

Rainbow Dash shot her a confused look. "Uh... but..." Her eyes darted between Lemon's fingers and her beaming face. "You've got the finger-hooves! How could you know how neck-fluff works?"

"Well, my bro's a flyer."

"Oh that makes sense. I didn't know you had a brother?"

Sugarcoat put her head in her hands. "Oh, here we go..."

"Yeah, he's a little weird but--actually, wanna meet him?"

"Uh... I guess?" Rainbow shrugged. "Always nice to meet a new flyer."

"Okey-doke! Let me just get him." Lemon Zest closed her eyes, strangely relaxing into her chair.

Rainbow Dash frowned. "...What--?"

"She does this sometimes," Sugarcoat explained. "She's... kind of crazy. You'll see."

Lemon's eyes snapped open and, without any warning, she dived across the table and tackled Rainbow. "OHSHITWATTUP? GOODTAMEETYASISHASSAIDSOMUCHABOUTYA!"

"Uh, what?"

The Shadowbolt picked Rainbow up and shook her head. "ZESTYLIME'SWHAT! I'MLEMON'SLIVEINTWINLONGSTORYBUTITOTESGETYOURWEIRDING! WEWEREWEIRDINGWHENTHISALLGOTDOWNBUTTISCOOLNOWTISCOOL!"

"She used to have a twin," Sugarcoat deadpanned. "He died horrifically. Then she started wearing his icon and saying he lived in her head now."

"Oh." Rainbow blinked. "...Uh, nice to meet you...Zesty Lime?"

"GOODTOMEETYOUTOOTELLYAWATRACETOTHEPARKTHREETWOONEGO! SPEEEEEDBOOST!" A lightbow grew from her back as she shot out the door and took to the skies.

"...what? What?! What?!?!"

Sugarcoat sipped her drink. "Two magics is weird, right? Tell you what, you race her and I'll call Sunset."

Postpartum Confusion, by Masterweaver

"...Um."

Sunset blinked.

"Um," she said again. "Er," she tried. "I mean... okay, by this point I should be used to being thrown weird things out of the blue but..."

She coughed.

"...Look. I'm a magical expert—heck, I'm the magical expert—but that doesn't mean I'm... a doctor. Of any kind. And I get that this is weird, magically, and I'd love to help--or at least find a way that you could get help if this comes up again and again but—"
She paused, trying to figure out how to put it.

"Look, to be frank, I haven't had sex as a human. Let alone... yeah. So, I... look, I have no idea, alright? I'm sorry, I know you're worried, but aside from the strangeness she seems healthy. I mean..." Sunset coughed into her fist. "I get that you were... uh... you know, when I did my magic shebang, but... I really, really can't help here. Like, at all."

Cadence and Shining Armor shared a look.

"...you want to be a godparent?" the dean finally asked.

"Sorry, can't. Churches and all." Sunset sighed, looking at the baby girl cooing in the cradle. "Although, if you like, I can check in on little Flurry Heart regularly. Just to see if she hasn't exploded things."

Author's Notes:

I'm not entirely sure what Flurry's story is. Given Weaver, I'm a little afraid to ask.

Sonnenunterganglied, by FoME

Author's Notes:

The following is an affectionate riff on Oroboro's Sunset Shipping Project. Specifically the last story, For the Love of Sunset. Reading it first is recommended but not compulsory.

With regards to the chapter title, a rough translation is "Song of Sunset," a play on the Nibelungenlied, the epic poem Wagner adapted into Der Ring des Nibelungen, also known as the Ring Cycle. I swear this made sense in my head. And if anyone who actually speaks German wants to correct me on this, by all means, feel free.

Sunset found speaking with Ditzy to be fascinating in the same way as a conversation with Pinkie Pie: The other girl represented a unique perspective that, if taken in too large a dose, would make Sunset question everything she thought she knew.

Sunset rubbed her temples. Right now, she was pretty sure she was getting near the LD50 of Ditzy Doo. "So, let me make sure I have this straight."

"Okay," said Ditzy in their little corner of the study hall.

"You enter this world in the second floor girls' bathroom of CHS."

"Yup."

"You fly headfirst into your local analogue."

Ditzy nodded. "Good to know that I don't explode if I touch myself."

"Phrasing. The two of you manage to break a pipe with your impact."

"Not one of my finer moments, no," Ditzy said with a nervous chuckle.

"You stayed to try to help her."

"Well, I couldn't just wreck everything and leave myself to fix it, could I?"

Sunset smirked. "You inhabit a very interesting realm of grammar. Have I ever told you that?"

"A few times."

"Anyway, the flooding gets bad enough that the floor gives way."

"At least it wasn't under either of me."

"And Twilight's personal lab—which is something she has in that instance of CHS—was directly underneath the bathroom, and the water caused an explosion."

"A magical one at that. I could feel it trying to push me out of that universe."

"Twilight, the Rainbooms, and I were all in the lab at the time. And when we recovered..." Sunset trailed off. The very idea was too much for her to fathom.

Ditzy finished the thought for her. "Every one of them was convinced you were going out with her. And you had memories that agreed with each of them."

Sunset took a deep breath, then said, "I have to ask; given all the student bodies of all of the versions of Canterlot High, is there a single heterosexual girl among them?"

"Well, there's me."

"Oh. Okay then. Good to know."

Perimeter Patrol, by Masterweaver

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaa!"

Rarity glanced skywards. "Is he still up there?"

"Eeeeyep."

"...is anyone going to help him figure out how to land?"

"Rainbow tried a while back. At tha least, she got him ta figure how ta do a consistent circle 'stead o' those figure eights he was doin'."

"Huh." Rarity watched the screaming boy pass by yet again. "I wonder why Sunset hasn't dealt with this."

"Oh, she kinda did. Took one look at him and told Fluttershy ta set up a first aid station fer when he tuckers out."

"That's... kind of callous."

"'parently she's got some more important stuff ta work out. Somethin' bout a space agency experimentin' with teleportation."

"Oh."

"Eeeyup."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaa--!"

Rarity sighed. "Well, I feel for Flash, but I can't think of anything I could do here."

Chance Encounter, by Bardic_Knowledge

"So you met another analogue of yourself."

"Even better, this one knew exactly what I'd been going through."

Sunset gave a quizzical head-tilt as Ditzy nommed a muffin. After a moment, the grey extra-dimensional human continued.

"I've mostly gotten my literal trips across Equestrias under control, but there was a bit of a resonance thing going on at the time. I was cleaning out my attic, got my foot caught and wound up falling over some bizarre brain-in-a-jar thing."

"Eugh."

"My first reaction, too. But I got a good explanation for it. Apparently, one of her early mentors gave it to her to show her a potential future that wasn't very pleasant."

"Not pleasant how?"

"Think the Cybos from Space Trek and you wouldn't be far off. Except that they don't particularly care if you're dead on conversion, and they treat the conversion religiously."

"I think we've gotten a little off track," said Sunset, looking a little green.

Ditzy nodded. "Right. Anyways, she apparently noticed my entrance because she can see like I can into other dimensions. She said her first trip out was a little less hazardous for her than mine, but at least I didn't leave Equestria. For a given meaning of 'Equestria,' anyways. After she left a note for her husband and daughter, we took a short walk back here."

Sunset took a sharp breath. "Wait, I think I know who you're talking about. Remember what I said about one of your other selves getting in trouble? And I asked if you felt giant-monsterish?"

All Ditzy could do was blink. "Wait, that was her? Good thing she just dropped me off at the bubble instead of coming in when I invited her."

"Well, as long as she wasn't a monstrosity at the time it probably would've been okay, but you never know sometimes. Since it sounds like she's older than either of us, I guess we should bow to her greater experience."

Author's Notes:

I swear I'll get back to My Little Praetor at some point.

Chaos Observation, by FoME

Draconequus Aspect

Once more, I must preface this with a note of an extremely limited sample size, one I can do nothing to rectify. Well, nothing that would contribute to the overall integrity of the cosmos.

Physical Traits: None. As far as I can tell, I don't have a single cell out of place when compared to how I was before the girls gave their prismatic pentagonal pyramid performance (putting aside the usual division and die-off, of course.) Indeed, from a purely physical perspective, I appear to be the only unmodified specimen of Homo sapiens sapiens left on the planet. It actually makes a twisted sort of sense. In this day and age, there is little more surprising or unexpected than the seemingly normal.

Magical Traits: Where do I begin? Where can I begin? The only person who could even begin to understand what it's like is Sunset Shimmer, and she has problems of her own.

I'm not proud of what I did when I first got these powers. After that first snap, there was an indescribable rush, an incomparable thrill, and it only got better with each exertion of my will afterwards. I had my own mental cheering section egging me on to twist reality into a pretzel and take a bite out of it just because I could. It was only when those cheerleaders tried to take the wheel that I decided to kick them out of my mixed metaphor of a mentality.

I'm not proud, but I do understand why I went more than a little mad with power. Aside from the whole "corrupting absolutely" thing, I was finally getting a chance to live my boyhood dream. Not only was magic real, I was a mage! No more poopooing people who dared to dream of something greater than reality just because I knew all of the stumbling blocks in the way. No more sighing longingly at every new work of speculative fiction. I could live the dream, regardless of what that dream actually was.

This has gotten a lot more personal than I meant it to. Fine. I'm the physical embodiment of Chaos and Disharmony, which apparently merit capital letters in this context. If I can't break my professionalism here, when can I?

Interesting. I definitely got a ping off of Ms. Harshwhinny when I typed that.

Aside from being able to detect all forms of dissonance, from emotional aggravation to the faint background hum of entropy, I can literally do anything I put my mind to. Probably. Ms. Shimmer has made a list of very bad ideas to explore. Temporal paradoxes, mass synthesis of antimatter, doing anything with souls, assuming those exist now... Really, it's nothing I wouldn't have avoided on my own. I do have some sense, after all.

And that was a bit of shame from all the way in Equestria. So sorry to disappoint, old friend, but my universe isn't nearly as resilient as yours.

Oh, and I suppose that efforts that don't fall under the banner of "Chaos and Disharmony" are rather more difficult, but with my understanding of how the world works, it's really just a matter of properly justifying it to my own magic. On that note, I do appear to be duty-bound to oppose Ms. Shimmer to maintain balance in the universe, but given how her adjusting the scales back to equilibrium is going to take quite some time, I doubt I'll have to worry about that for the foreseeable future.

Hmm. Note to self: Dust off the old in-case-of-singularity sanity maintenance plans. I'm going to need them.

I suppose I should wrap this up. Let's start over.

Magical Traits: Yes.

Perfect.

Author's Notes:

For more professionally presented aspect descriptions, see the magic worldbuilding thread in the group forum.

Cutting-Edge Technique, by ArtieStroke

Gilda grumbled as she grabbed the plastic bag and her receipt. The sun had barely risen as Gilda walked from the convenience store, heading home. It had become a small ritual: Get up at the crack of dawn, get enough to maybe last more than a week, and get home before anyone could see.

"Yo, G!"

Fate had other ideas this time around.

Gilda nodded her head as Dash jogged up next to her, "Hey, long time no see- what're you doing in this part of town, Dash?"

Rainbow shrugged, slowing down to match Gilda's pace, "Just decided to switch up my morning runs- what about you? It's like, WAY too early for you to be up."

"Errands," Gilda said, shaking the plastic convenience store bag. Rainbow quirked an eyebrow.

"Errands?"

Gilda groaned, "Jeeze, what're you my mom? If you really gotta know- I've been running out of razors," she said, pulling out a little plastic case of cheap PiNC-brand razors.

"I've been going through like three packs a month just for my legs," Gilda said as she stuffed the razors back, "It's super annoying."

Rainbow frowned, humming as she thought. "But... don't you have those, like, magic Wolverine claws now?"

"Yeah? Your point?"

"Well, what the heck do you need razors for anyhow?" Rainbow exclaimed, "You could totally like- do what they do in those old war movies! Except instead of a knife, it's a weird magic claw thingy."

"... Huh."


Gilda sat in her tub, staring from her hand, back to her leg, and repeating it a few times. She took in a deep breath.

Snikt.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!"

Turns out shaving with a sharp, invisible force field was a bad idea.

Author's Notes:

See the link in the last chapter for more on griffon-aspected people. Suffice to say, their bottom halves have very active follicles.

And yes, PiNC also makes lighters and pens.

Not Quite Ambrosia, by FoME

Technically speaking, Sunset didn't need to eat anymore. She also didn't need to breathe, blink, eliminate waste, or perform several other once vital functions. However, she still did most of them as part of her effort to stay rooted to everyday existence and concerns. She'd only foregone two: sleep, because there just weren't enough hours in the day even when she had all twenty-four of them; and her reproductive cycle, because like Tartarus she was putting up with that when she didn't have to.

But eating? Eating was a joy, especially for friends of Pinkie Pie. And now she'd been able to recapture a long-lost part of that joy. Acquiring the materials had been simple enough, if pricey. To Sunset's knowledge, the finished product had never been assembled on Earth before. She took the pioneering creation in her hands and brought it to her mouth.

Bite.

Chew.

Appreciative hum.

Sunset swallowed the bite of her daffodil sandwich. "It's so nice to have my old taste buds back," she said to herself.

Author's Notes:

Not every story needs to give Sunset a headache as she babysits a planet full of nigh-suicidal apes. She deserves the occasional unquestionably happy moment.

Supernal, by ArtieStroke

"I really shouldn't do this..."

"Give yourself a break, you were young once too! You owe it to the little girl you used to be!"

"But it's so... juvenile."

"Oh, one building couldn't hurt, right?"

Celestia took in a deep breath, looking up at the office building in downtown Canterlot. It was easily fifteen stories.

"It's now or never, Celestia," she thought to herself. She crouched down, feeling the rays of the sun hit upon her skin. It was... empowering.

"Up, up..." She whispered, and jumped...


Luna flopped onto the couch, the local news already playing on the TV as she flipped through her phone to check emails. Another long school day, and she was beat.

"In local news," the anchor said with a sort of forced cheer, "It's not a bird, it's not a plane, but it appears that the last woman from Croupton was seen leaping over tall buildings in a single bound in downtown Canterlot today! The pictures of this mysterious non-Pegasus aspected woman clearing skyscrapers like an Olympic hurdler have been making their way across social media."

Luna paused what she was doing, a look of shock spreading across her face as a blurry photo of a certain aurora-haired woman clearing the Crystal Empire State Building superimposed itself next to the news anchor's head.

"All I have to say is train conductors better watch their backs before she decides to start racing locomotives for kicks! Back to you, Bob."

The scene changed back to the boring male anchor, who shuffled a few papers, "Thank you, Aerith. Next up! Trans-tribalism: Reborn in the wrong body? Stay tuned!"

Luna's jaw dropped as it cut to commercial. Slowly, she closed her mouth, before turning around on the couch.

"TIAAAAAAAA! YOU HAVE SOME EXPLAINING TO DO!"

Author's Notes:

Thankfully, Celestia is more original Siegel-and-Shuster Superman than Silver Age asshat Superman. Don't expect her to toss planets or develop super-weaving powers anytime soon.

Reasonable Doubt, by Masterweaver

"Don't tell me you believe that magic tripe! It's aliens, man! It's all aliens!"

Meringue put down his sandwich and gave Trail Mix a flat look. "Aliens."

"Yeah, man! Like, how else are you going to explain all the psychic powers and the mutant mumbo jumbo? The galactic confederacy genebombed us man! There's no other explanation!"

"So, the whole magic spells thing—"

"Psychic nanobots, man!"

"... And that message from Sunset Shimmer—?"

"Pff. OBVIOUSLY she's just an AI that's focused on directing our culture to join the confederacy."

"You know something, Trail Mix? Sometimes, I just can't believe you."

"You've just got to keep an open mind, man!"

Chibi-Doosa, by Masterweaver and FoME

(Masterweaver)

"Hum-de-diddly dee, and now I've done laundry! Something something da-da-dee-da, something something doop-da-de-YAAAA!" Ditzy clutched her chest, gasping for a couple of seconds before letting out a relieved giggle. "Sunset! Whoa, you startled me. How did you—? No, wait, superpowers. Okay, new question, why are you here?" She took in the other girl's unamused face and crossed arms. "I mean... did I stumble over some quantum string that was important to reality or something?"

"Oh believe me," Sunset growled, "it's nothing you've done."

"...So... is it something I'm going to do? Because the emphasis there, on the past tense, kinda suggests..." Ditzy's voice trailed off as she noticed the other girl, one half her age, trying desperately to hide behind Sunset's legs. "Awwww." She knelt down, holding a hand out to the greyish-pink kid. "Hey there. Did Sunset Shimmer scare you? Don't worry, she's only scary when she's scared. It's alright. What's your name?"

"...I'm Dinky." The little kid cautiously took her hand. "Dinky Doo."

"Nice to meet you, Dinky! I'm Ditzy Doo." The gray girl shook her hand, taking in the odd gem in the child's forehead. "Now, I'm not going to say you did something to scare Sunset, but I'm pretty sure Sunset's going to tell me something got her mad. Do you know anything about that?"

"Um." Dinky cleared her throat. "Well... You see, it's... I mean, Mom loves me and all, but—"

"Somebody," Sunset deadpanned, "was apparently so busy with hyperdimensional operations that they came to the entirely logical conclusion that the best way to spend time with their daughter was to send her back to when she had the time to spend."

"Oh really?" Ditzy smiled innocently. "Well, until we find this young lady's mother, I'd be happy to look after her!"

Sunset looked at her flatly.

"...I mean it!"

Sunset looked at her flatly.

"...No, seriously, I'm great with kids!"

Sunset looked at her flatly.

Dinky cleared her throat. "My mom's name is Ditzy."

"Wow! That's such a coincidence! That's my name too!"

"You know what?" Sunset threw up her hands. "Not even going to push it. This works."


(FoME)

"Hi, Grandma."

Mistral Lace froze and very, very slowly turned to look at the little girl smiling up at her. "Excuse me?"

The girl, who did resemble Ditzy at that age to a frightening degree, smiled and said, "Time shenanigans," as though that would explain everything. Or, indeed, anything.

"There you are!" Ditzy herself emerged from the laundry room, hauling a basket full of clean clothes.

Mistral looked back and forth between the two. "Ditzy, is there something you'd like to tell me?"

"Hmm? Oh, right." Ditzy knelt, put the basket down, and ruffled the younger girl's hair, eliciting a giggle. "I'll tell you all about it when I'm done screaming internally."

"Do you ever get used to this sort of thing?"

Ditzy's smile grew sardonic. "I go to Canterlot High, Mom. I've gotten used to this sort of thing."


Twilight opened her mouth, paused, shook her head, and said, "I have so many objections to this that I don't even know where to begin."

"Look, it's very simple," said Ditzy. "Have you ever seen Sailor Luna?"

"I know of it, mostly through pop cultural osmosis. Girls younger than us with legs like the principals' fight eldritch horrors in miniskirts." Twilight frowned. "Er, the girls wear the miniskirts, not the horrors."

Ditzy tilted her head from side to side. "Sometimes it's both."

"I'll take your word for it."

"The point is, I'm kind of in the middle of one of the plotlines. My daughter from the future is staying with us for a while because apparently I'll think that's a good idea." Ditzy hummed to herself. "Or just to keep to the whole 'acausal loop' thing going. I could definitely see me doing that."

Twilight held up a hand. "We appear to be moving into a whole new area of headaches."

"Right, let's try to focus on this one. So, since I'm apparently Moon Bunny now, what with my blue and red best friends, I need a talking animal mascot, and I heard about how your dog can talk now."

"Yeees." Twilight drew out the word as her face twisted into further incredulity. "Principally about squirrels and the chasing thereof, though he is taking an interest in nonhuman sapients' rights. And you want to borrow him just to fulfill some narrative trope?"

"Well, that or ask you to do it to something else."

Several half-formed words escaped from Twilight's mouth before she shook her head and took a deep breath. "Before I begin a very long dissertation on all of the things wrong with that, I should ask, would you be satisfied if I simply told you 'no'?"

Ditzy thought about this for a moment. She shrugged. "Yeah, probably. Besides, it should really be a cat."

"Again, I'll take your word for it."

Intriguing Indifference, by SaintAbsol

The man sighed as he sat in the airport terminal, leaning back in the uncomfortable seats as he watched the board overhead for any information about his eventual boarding time. It was all he could do, given the unexpected delay and him not wanting to dig through his luggage for a book or the like

And it gave him something else to focus on besides the fact a large number of people were staring and wondering why a man with the pegasus aspect was waiting to board a plane at all.

"Well, isn't this an odd sight?"

The man jumped as he didn't remember anyone sitting next to him, nor could he recall when the strangely... mundane-looking man had sat down. The stranger's yellow and red eyes had an unnerving gleam to them as they appraised him, making the man shift about in his seat. "Can I... help you?"

"Just curious, is all," the stranger said. "I think you're well aware as to what."

The man sighed, running a hand through his two-tone, white and rust colored hair. "Yeah, you and everyone else," he grumbled. The man gave a halfhearted glare at the various other would-be passengers, who hastily pretended they weren't look at him. "Is it really that hard to believe? I mean, I can't be the only guy with wings who flies on a plane."

"No, but the ones that do that usually have some variant of acrophobia; and I can tell that's not the case for you."

"How?"

The stranger's eyes seemed to glow as he gave a crooked smile. "I can."

The man opened his mouth, but just shook his head. "Whatever..."

"So," the stranger continued. "Why aren't you flying on your own?"

The man groaned. "Why should I?"

The stranger raised an eyebrow, but remained smiling. "Because you can? And you wouldn't have to deal with this delay, or the outrageous fees for your luggage, or the ticket itself."

"And I can just walk there if I really wanted. I still don't see why I should do something just because I can."

The stranger put a hand to his chin, still smiling. "Well, then why shouldn't you?"

The man shrugged. "I just... don't like to fly."

"You feel like your aspect is wrong?"

The man shook his head. "No, I don't really care what aspect I have, not like I'd get much use out of any one in particular."

That seemed to catch the stranger's interest. "So... if you had... say... the unicorn aspect, you wouldn't see much use for telekinesis?"

"Last I checked, I still had hands."

"And the earth aspect?"

The man shrugged. "I don't do a lot of heavy lifting or work outdoors or the like. So... yeah, I can't say I'd get much use out of it either."

"Interesting..." The man rubbed at his chin, his eyes gleaming again. "You could be interesting to keep an eye on..."

"You're incredibly creepy, you know that?"

The stranger chuckled, lightly clapping his hands together. "And blunt to boot, I'm looking forward to this."

"To wh—"

The board overhead flipped to show new times, and a call rang out over the PA system. "Now boarding: Flight 217, Canterlot to Whinniapolis."

The man blinked as he heard his flight called, and grabbed his luggage. "Look, I have to ge—" And he stopped short again as he realized the stranger was no longer seated next to him, nor did he appear to be anywhere in the immediate area. "...Ugh," the man groaned. "I miss when things were simple..."

Author's Notes:

Meet Coffee Swirl, the man who doesn't care about the world changing.

On the Fists of a Dilemma, by ArtieStroke

"Lunch monies!" Rover growled over the huddled trio of younger students. The ground rumbled next to them as his other two lackeys burst from the ground.

"Yeah! Lunch monies! Gives them to us!"

Sweetie Belle frowned, stomping her foot on the ground, "Oh, come on! This is hardly fair; you're like three grades held back compared to us!"

The three Diamond Boys looked at each other for a moment before bursting out in laughter.

"Not fair, she sayses!"

"She complains worse than her sister!"

A quiet voice cleared her throat behind them, causing all manner of heads to turn. Lily Longsocks, her purple pigtails flapping the breeze, stood behind them all.

"I think, um, maybe it would be better if you could, maybe pick on someone your own size?" She suggested, timidly but also with a hint of boredom. Rover raised an eyebrow, before nodding to Spot to take care of this interloper. The smallest of the trio of bullies stalked his way over to the girl, who just sighed.

"Okay."

To be fair, the punch didn't look like much effort was put behind it. The resounding "CRACK" and quickly fading scream in the distance said otherwise, and where Spot once stood there was a single, small and steaming fist.

The remaining two Diamond Boys blinked once, before holding their hands up and fleeing the scene with a terrified scream. Lily Longsocks looked at her fist for a moment, before sighing sadly.

"Just one punch, again..."

Author's Notes:

The talk of Dinky as Chibi-Usa got Artie's muse going along a similar theme.

For those unclear, Lily is the human analogue of the super-strong, hedgehog-marked filly from "Crusaders of the Lost Mark."

School of Guilds, by Bardic_Knowledge and FoME

(Bardic_Knowledge)

"So, why are we here?" asked Sonata.

"Well, my dear, as part of my ongoing efforts to catalogue the new ways of the world-slash-universe, I've come to discover that this one campus has more magical diversity than any one country you'd care to name. Not counting the one we're in right now, of course."

Sonata pouted for half a second before finding the sign that would tell her their exact location.

It was as Discord had said. Almost everywhere she looked, Sonata saw someone who could be considered quite strange, even to an ex-immortal half-siren like herself. There were tree people, mossy people, froggy people, people who had to duck to walk through doors because their heads scraped the ceiling, a couple guys completely covered in fire, the list went on.

But before they could really get into studying the student bodies, they had to speak to the administration.

"Hopefully, Niv is actually in this week. He's usually off in his personal lab doing some project or other. We actually collaborated once. Either way, Vice Principal Beleren should be in. He takes everything seriously."


(FoME)

"Ugh..."

A familiar voice came in all too clearly, Sonata's ears capturing the sound no matter what her headache might have to say about. "Subject is reviving. Unconsciousness lasted one hour, fifty-seven minutes, eleven point three-eight seconds. How are you feeling, Sonata?"

"Shh..." She winced as even her own shush made her skull pound. She tried to open her eyes, flinched, at kept them at slits to block out the blinding glare blasting out of the NAHTI's overhead lights.

To his credit, Mr. Discord did at least try to quiet down. "Subject appearing to exhibit symptoms similar to a hangover."

After a few more moments of adjustment, Sonata sat up on the bench on which she'd been passed out and croaked, "I almost completely dried out once back in Equestria. I still felt better than I do now."

"So that's a 'no' on the synthetic negative energy, then."

Sonata tried nodding and stopped once she started getting feedback. "Definitely."

Mr. Discord drummed his fingers against thin air, making actual drum noises. "Drat. Well, I'll get in touch with Niv. He's always been good for ideas."

Sonata's eyes widened. "Niv?"

"Niv-Mizzet. Principal of Ravnica High? Fascinating fellow; might even be smarter than me. We were roommates after ol' Smoozy got expelled; long story there, don't ask."

"That place is real?"

"We went there just last week. Don't you remember?" Mr. Discord leaned in. "Actually, do you remember?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I do now." Sonata recalled the vice principal, an exhausted looking unicorn-aspected man with skin close to hers trying to do four things at once when they'd met. "Sorry, just a crazy dream."

Author's Notes:

Remember Ravnica High? That never stopped being a thing. Ravnica's in an area with a very high immigrant population, hence the different naming conventions.

Seriously, don't ask about Mr. Discord's first roommate. It's a long, unpleasant, and disgusting story.

Iconoclast, by SaintAbsol

"That was the scene outside the Rich mansion, as the newly formed PAULDRONS society sta—" The television was switched off. It was one of the older models, lacking an internet connection or even a processor to function as a computer, magical or mundane, and wasn't even a flat-screen. By the standards of most teenagers in the world, it was practically an antique.

And one that stopped functioning as the remote was thrown through its screen.

Coffee Swirl, a pegasus aspect who cared so little for flight he'd barely used his wings since they'd appeared on his back, slowly settled back into his chair. He was already regretting having thrown his remote like that, but he really couldn't help it at this point. The fact he still got stared at for choosing to keep his feet on the ground was one thing, and easily ignored, but a special interest group advocating for equality to animals and even rocks?! There was just a point where he simply couldn't take it anymore.

"World's gone to Tartarus," he muttered under his breath, glancing toward the window as the light slowly started to dim in the approaching evening. "And it's not hard to tell who's to blame..."


The sun was well and truly gone from the sky as the community center locked up for the night. The janitor on duty yawned hugely as he checked one of the locks; it had been a long day, made no easier by the 'church' that had taken over one of the rooms.

While Sunset Shimmer regularly expressed her wishes to not be worshiped as a deity, several makeshift shrines and temples had started to pop up in public settings. The one in the community center's common area just happened to be one of the larger ones, complete with a few ever present chairs serving as pews around sizeable sculpture of her icon. It wasn't much, but it served the purpose the Shimmerists intended for it, a place to sing Sunset's praises.

Dusty Sweep had little time for such things, being only a nominal Harmonist before things had changed and only noting the changes to the world in that his back didn't hurt nearly as much as it used to when he lifted the barrels of cleaner off the shelves in the back. He didn't hold anything against the girl, but he could find better things to do than sit an worship someone who didn't want to be worshiped.

Dusty suddenly jumped as he heard something rustle near him, grabbing a sizeable stick from the ground and pointing it at the source. "Who's there?" His eyes darted around, still adjusting to the dark of the night. "I-I'm armed, I swear!" The rustling intensified for a moment, before a racoon scurried across the path, pausing only to look at him before disappearing into the night once more. Dusty blinked, than slowly lowed the stick with a shake of his head. "I'm gettin' paranoid," he muttered, turning to finish locking up.

Then something shattered within and he practically tore the door of its hinges as he took off inside.

More and more doors were thrown open as he rushed through the building, looking for who could have broken whatever that was and trying to figure out what they wanted. There wasn't any money kept on the premises, nor were there all that many things of value to be found in the first place. That meant it had to be some sort of vandal, but what could they-

Dusty's train of thought derailed as he reached the 'chapel' room, and found the sculpture of Sunset Shimmer's icon smashed to bits on the floor. The room's window was open, apparently having been jimmied open from the outside. Dusty swore loudly as he rushed over and stuck his head out, just barely catching a glimpse of someone as they vaulted over the nearby fence, a faint magical glow visible on their back.


Coffee Swirl panted as he ran, his feet pounding the hard pavement as he tried to stay away from lights as much as possible.

He couldn't believe he'd done something so unbelievably stupid and petty! Cops were going to be showing up any moment, possibly literally if they had the unicorn aspect, and the skies weren't safe even if he did want to fly. There was no way he was getting out of this with anything short of a miracle!

And, right on cue, a grey van skidded to a stop, almost running him over as it bounced up onto the sidewalk.

The window was open, letting him see a girl wearing a hoodie that did a remarkable job of concealing her face. "Get in," she said in a no-nonsense tone. "Now, before the police get here!"

Coffee Swirl didn't need telling twice, and just as well too, as she started pulling away before he'd even managed to close the door. "Who the hell are you?"

A few strands of red and yellow hair slipped out from beneath the hood as the girl slammed the gas down. "Someone else who isn't exactly thrilled with the boss-lady."


In a house that no longer adhered to the rules of normal time and space, Johnathan Quincy Discord sipped a glass of chocolate milk with a crooked smile on his face. "Nothing quite like watching a plan come together," he thought out loud. "Now then... just a few more pieces to move, and everything will be in place."

Author's Notes:

I've come to like human Sunset. The universe never intended her to exist, but here she is anyway. (And by "the universe," I mean me. :derpytongue2:)

Of course, trying to spite Sunset by vandalizing one of her shrines is a bit like trying to annoy your neighbor by weeding his garden, but I'm certainly not going to tell Coffee that.

Crystal Clear Waters, by SaintAbsol

Everfree Lake was still in the night.

Its waters were as glass, reflecting the midnight moon high above.

The noises of the forest were unnaturally faint, and only growing quieter as the midnight hour approached ever faster. Finally, right as the moon was directly overhead, all natural sounds stopped, and bubbles began to rise to the surface of the lake.

More and more came, rising with greater speed and intensity until the center of the lake frothed like it was boiling. Suddenly, from the center of the bubbling mass, a humanoid figure emerged with a guttural yell; it was clad in what looked to be a half-rotted leather jacket, a waterlogged shirt visible beneath it, and a chipped and cracked hockey mask that seemed almost melded to its face. A hand that was indistinguishable from a rotten glove raised a machete as it loosed another bellow into the night air...

And was impaled through the eye socket of the mask by a shining golden arrow.

Sunset Shimmer lowered her hand as she watched the figure sink back into the depths of the lake, turning to the siblings who owned the camp. "That should take care of him for a while, but I'm still working on a way to get rid of things like this permanently."

Gloriosa Daisy nodded, nervously fingering her flower necklace. "So... the camp will be safe to open now, right?"

"Oh, yeah; that arrow will keep him down for at least a year and a half. I may not be able to kill things like him yet, but I can at least make it hard for them to come back."

Timber Spruce just looked at at the lake, the final remnants of the frothing from earlier finally fading away. "Urban Legends," he said, shaking his head. "I almost can't believe it, even with magic."

"Yeah..." Sunset nervously rubbed at the back of her head. "Turns out, if enough people believe in something, even a horror story, it technically counts as mythology. And when there's enough mythology for something, and just the right combination of magic, you can get all sorts of weird things. It's what makes these things so hard to kill for good; since, well, most horror stories don't have a way to kill the monster."

Both of the siblings nodded at that, the sounds of the forest slowly returning to their natural nocturnal levels.

Sunset slipped her hands in her pockets and rocked back on her heels. "Anyway... if there's nothing else, I should probably get going. I may not actually need to sleep anymore, but I'd still like to get a few hours in before school."

Gloriosa shook her head. "No, we should be good now that he's taken care of; have a nice night."

Sunset smiled, and simply vanished, leaving the two of them alone in the night.

Timber yawned and stretched a bit, finally taking his eyes off the lake and back to his sister. "Well, that was easier than I expected. Guess you were right about calling her in."

"I told you it was the right thing to do." Gloriosa tapped her brother on the chest with a smirk. "And you wanted to actually try and fight him."

Timber shrugged. "Call it stereotypical male bravado. I figured we kinda had to." He paused, biting his lip nervously. "You think we should have mentioned... you know?"

Gloriosa tilted her head, then blinked and started to chuckle. "You mean, that old story mom and dad used to tell us to keep us from wandering off into the forest?" She eventually reached the point of full on laughter as she doubled over. "I think Sunset has more pressing issues than something no one outside of our family has even heard of."

Timber eventually joined his sister in laughing, though not as heartily as she did. "Yeah, I suppose you're right. There's probably scarier things out there than Gaea Everfree." Timber chuckled once more, heading back toward the counselor's cabin to get some sleep in himself.

"Yeah," Gloriosa said as she followed. "Probably."

With his back to her, Timber missed as Gloriosa's eyes became pools of black tar with glowing embers for pupils within them, if only for a moment.

Author's Notes:

Canonicity's pretty darn iffy on this one. The necessary belief threshold for a meme to incarnate itself is probably higher than most urban legends will hit. Probably.

Absentee Lords and Ladies, by Masterweaver

For so many years, they had hidden. Hidden from history, from humans, from help and horror. And then...

She.

Even if she did not know of they, and so did not speak, it was not hard to see. A mere glance at humans, and the shift in the world...

Whispers in a thousand thousand places unmapped began to clamor and echo and sing.

The old games were afoot again, but new rules came with them. And now.... now humans were playing too.

They were cautious, of course—who wouldn't be?

But it was time. Time to emerge.

Time to become part of the world again.


"Iron? Or cold iron?"

"Not iron, definitely. Maybe cold iron. They call it aluminum."

"Hmm. What is contained within?"

"Sugary water, with flavors and chemical treatment."

"...what."

"They've found a way to... extract it. Reforge it. It's so common, this is a disposable drink container. Don't shake, the drink froths."

"Change... is to be expected, I suppose. It has been a long time since magic sang, and never has it sung like this."

"There is more. They have... I do not know how to explain it. It is like starfolk magic, only... not magic."

"Not magic?"

"Not how we describe it. If magic were to fall again, it would not be effected. It sings now too, with the new magic and old, but..."

"How common is this?"

"Very common. Households have it whisper through the walls. Carts without beasts move swiftly across great distances. Tiny bricks shout across the void to floating watchers. Sometimes this lets the bricks talk to each other."

"Have they... found the starfolk?"

"I cannot say, it is unclear. But they did make a journey to the moon and back, before magic sang again."

"...if something is this common, there must be knowledge of it in their libraries. Take care, and find us the words of this not magic starfolk magic."

"There is..."

"Yes?"

"There is... an invisible library. Knowledge for all, from all, accessed with not magic, and... now that magic sings, there are creatures in it. But it is common enough."

"How trustworthy is this knowledge?"

"Oh, it depends. I call it a library, but it is more a library of libraries. Some are lies. Some are truth. I could... bring you a gate, but..."

"Iron and cold iron."

"Contained in strange false bone, but... yes. And rare is the gatekeeper that does not demand money. Or proof that we lie not of ourself."

"I see... perhaps take another's gate, then."

"It could be done."

"Good. And have you, at least, found why magic sings again?"

"...The Belled Sorcerer left his gate open. Magic from his world poisoned ours. Then another Sorcerer stepped in... and now the magics are blended, and she keeps the world together as it heals."

"Does she know of us?"

"...I cannot say. I cannot say."

Author's Notes:

Magic hadn't always been as skittish as it was before Sunset reached out to it. Once this world was a bit more magical... and then it suddenly wasn't. This came as quite a shock to those who'd depended on it.

Almost as much as when it came back.

For more on the starfolk, see Masterweaver's Crossworlds Guardian, Sailor Orbital!

S/M.I.L.E. Please, by The wind king

Computers hummed and sang, strange technological songs comprised of pure information floating through the air far faster than any melody really had a right to go. Florescent lights buzzed in the tiled ceiling, their harsh light burning away any shadows in misused corners or under overlooked desks. Footsteps echoed and built in such as small space giving the impression that any unseen observer could turn around and find themself observed.

It was in all exceedingly busy for a room that last week had been a garage, The Man with a Shadow For a Face thought to himself, as the last glowing embers of a cigarette dangled from his lips.

Gnarled and scarred fingers plucked the glowing tube from his lips, before he stubbed it out against the hoof-like fingernails on his other hand. The act didn't even draw a flinch from him, even as the people around him did so, the bustle hiccuping at the sound of embers meeting 'flesh' before everyone turned back to their tasks.

The Man watched for a second more, a mixture of pride and worry on his nonexistent features, before he stepped smartly forwards into the bustling activity which parted around him, whether in reverence or fear he didn't rightly know; so many of the agents here were new to the task, a sad necessity given how the world had changed, was changing even still, and would continue to change with the events yet to unfold. This lack of knowledge galled him as he strode the short distance over to a mop of pink and blue hair above a cream face which was twisted in distaste as report after report flitted across her monitor.

"Agent Drops."

The teenager didn't jump. She didn't shout or squeak or even flinch at the Man's gravelly voice. She merely sighed and twisted her chair as to face him. "Yes, Director?"

"What is the progress on the S/M.I.L.E database?"

"Oh it's just going great, Director." The woman threw her own thick-nailed hands in the air before pulling a sheet of paper out of one the piles on her desk. "Ever since the 'Don't Believe in Monsters or They'll Get You' vlog hit the Shimmerists' site we've had a vicious upswing in monster sightings, urban legend renewals, alien 'abductions', and and conspiracy theorists going on and on about how the government is running some sort of 'monster preserve on an unmarked unlisted island in the middle of the Harmonic Ocean, the Saddlantic Ocean, and the Bermula Triangle."

"And what do you actually have for me?"

"Too many hoaxes to name." Agent Drops sighed before passing the sheet to the director. "However we've had agents in all of these cities reporting in the following."

"Candyman in Chicolto; Birde and Hare in Marenburgh; Jack the Ripper, Springheel Jack, and the Plague Rat all in Londonk; the Sandpoint Devil in, surprise surprise, Sandpoint; numerous reporting of Black Shuck in the Porkshire Dales, the White Mare worldwide?" The director raised his 'eyes' from the densely packed list. "This paints a very bleak picture, Agent Drops."

"And more reports keep on coming in, those are simply the ones that've come in from other agents. There's no telling how many civilians have wandered on something legitimate and not stumbled back out." Another ding of an arriving message rang from the computer's speaker as the overworked teenager swung back to the glowing screen. "If you'll excuse me, sir, I'm too busy at the moment. I'll have a report on your desk by tomorrow morning, Harmony willing."

"I'll see what I can do to lighten your load, Agent Drops. In Vigilo Confido"

"In Vigilo Confido, sir."

Author's Notes:

If canon, this is a few years in the future. I have something different in mind for Bonbon... though I will note that she was once known by Sweetie Drops in this universe. Then Daddy made a mistake at work, and the Witness Protection Program swept in...

But that's a story for another day.

And for those wondering, S/M.I.L.E. stands for Supernatural/Monstrous Intelligence Listing of Earth.

Glamourous, by Masterweaver

"...Hey Pinkie?"

"Yeah Applejack?"

The farmgirl pointed across the road. "Are ya seein' what Ah'm seein'?"

Pinkie followed her finger. "I'm not seein' what you're seein' if you're seein' somethin' strange. All I'm seein' is a guy leanin' against a wall seein' what he can see. Or she. It's an androgynous figure. Which isn't that odd these days. Why, what are you seein'?"

"...Well, he's got... pointed ears. And not like Rares, either, I mean," She made a gesture. "Woooooosh, you know?"

"Like Battleforge elves?"

"Um...?"

Pinkie pulled her phone out, tapping some keys. "Here. These guys."

"...Ya know, he actually looks a lot like that ta me. Ah mean, it's his eyelashes that are big, not his eyebrows, but--"

"Gotcha. You're seein' something I'm not. I know how to solve this." Pinkie pocketed her phone and pranced across the road.

"Wait, Pinkie, what—?"

"Excuse me, sir or madam! Are you currently or have you ever been under any enchantment, spell, or otherwise magical occurance that results in the alteration of your appearance to outside observers?"

The strange person looked at Pinkie. Applejack facepalmed.

"...Yes." The person nodded. "And now, I feel I must leave." They dissolved into sparkles and spiraled away into nothingness.

Pinkie stood there, staring at where they had been standing, up until Applejack joined her. "Pinkie, if somebody is tryin' ta be disguised, Ah don't think askin' 'are ya disguised' is goin' ta help the situation."

"Well, I wasn't expecting him or her to whisk themselves away like that! What was that all about?"

"Don't ask me! Ah don't have a clue!"

Author's Notes:

The only thing the fae fear more than total, complete honesty is laughter at their expense.

The Seven Bonds, by Masterweaver

The Seven Bonds
A traditional Breezie song, as translated by P-Fluttershy of Cloudsdale

Remember ye the seven ways the soul can twist and bind
Ne'er forget the truth of things where'r wence your path wind
Each has power, each has give, and learn them well you must
No matter the power of the ones to whom ye give the trust.

Earth tis hard to convince, and harder still to change
Foundation of all that one is, do not ye rearrange
Save for strength, for purest grant, for singer of the land
And even then, only grant to those with gentle hand.

Water flows through us all, no matter where we shall go
The greatest hearts can ride the waves and alter fate's very flow
Ware, though, lest ye forget the fickle core of life
And ever find yourself caught in another's strife.

Fire roars and twists and burns, ne'er stopping in its path
Till at last its feed is done and ends its nameless wrath
These pacts be brief, and quickly made, never do otherwise
Lest ye become the very thing your brother now despise.

Air binds us all to common realm, a joy in every breath
And those without air or its bind shall slowly suffer death
Yet soft is she, so gentle be, and only reach you out
When the need for healing is around with not a single doubt.

Song and laughter, screams and cries, the shadows of the night
Bring hope and fear, doom and joy, wonderment and fright
Wary are many of this power, and wary they should be
For the greatest secrets is what in truth they'll see.

Light and color may seem, to you, as calm as summer's day
And there is some truth to those who think this way
But ne'er forget that seeing one may blind you to another
So only take this path for dearest friend or brother.

And so at last we come to this, the highest of the self
And I say never bind! For goodness or for wealth!
Thought and magic and your core are one the same and true
If this one you give away, no longer shall you be you.

Around you see the many, the choices they have made,
The twists their bindings gave and the games that they have played
Go ye, child, to one realm or other, and choose your bindings well
To greatest glory triumph! Or to utter ruin be fell.

Author's Notes:

You may be wondering what this could possibly have to do with the Oversaturated World. Keep reading and you'll find out.

Breeze's Bargain, by Masterweaver

"Man. My life sucks."

"Do tell."

"Huh?" Zephyr looked up, only belatedly noticing the beautiful girl leaning against a wall. "Oh! Hey. Wow, I must be really out of it, to miss something as lovely as you."

"Oh, I know. The woes of reality can blind us all." The girl's face was sympathetic. "Why, just this morning, I found somebody had gathered all my things up into a single bag!"

"You got kicked out of your house?" Zephyr gasped. "That's terrible!"

"It would be, if I hadn't had the good fortune to run into somebody who could help me." The girl pouted. "You can... help me, right?"

Zephyr sighed. "I'd like too, but... look, I left my sister hanging, and after that my mom's been super lock-down. I can't even have my smart-phone, just a ten-year-old flipout." He kicked a rock. "It's... it's a long story."

"Well... so long as we're suffering, we can suffer together." The girl breezed off the wall. "And who knows? With magic, many possibilities open up to us."

"Heh, yeah." Zephyr adjusted his shirt casually. "A lot of new opportunities. It's... it's a shame I can't really take advantage of them."

"Because of your mother's restraints?"

"No..." He slumped. "Look. Lady, you really don't want to be with me. I'm... a failure. There, I said it. Everything I've tried, I... I dropped it after a while. I find a talent, and then I just... I just have no skill."

"You lack conviction. Purpose..." The girl slipped a sympathetic hand around his shoulder. "One of the quieter tragedies of this day and age."

"Yeah. I wish I could help you, but—"

"Perhaps," the girl mused, "we could help each other."

"What?"

"I know a spell, a spell to give you a stronger heart. A will to move mountains. If I were to cast it upon you, perhaps... perhaps you could grant me residence in your home?"

"I... I dunno. I still live with my parents—"

"I need very little space. Surely there is a place that is used only for storage?"

"Well..." Zephyr frowned. "I mean... there's the shed where dad keeps his leaf collection. He's got leaves from all over the world--but--"

"I promise," the girl purred, "he wouldn't even know I was there."

"We don't even know each other's names!"

"Hmm." The girl pursed her lips. "...Winter Lights. That is what you may call me."

"I'm Zephyr Breeze."

"And it is a pleasure to meet you." She spun around, looking into his eyes. "Now... do we have an agreement?"

"I..." Zephyr winced. "This won't... hurt, or do weird things to me, right?"

"Oh, trust me, you won't even notice anything besides your newfound confidence."

After a moment, he nodded and stuck out his hand. "Count me in."

"Our pact is sealed."

Raresearch & Dashvelopment, by Masterweaver

"So what is it you wanted me to see, Rarity?"

"Well, Twilight, I thought you might be interested in this. You see, I caught the video of those Wonderbolts dissolving that hurricane, and I asked myself 'Why don't they do more weather management, like handling clouds?'"

"Clouds are too high in the atmosphere. Even if they could fly up there, they couldn't—"

"Couldn't breathe, yes, darling, I did research. However, there are air tanks and airtight suits in the world already. Scuba gear, space suits, all that. Rainbow, do you have it on yet?"

"Give me a moment! It's hard to adjust!"

"You're having Rainbow test this? Rarity, the feathers have to be exposed to the air to generate a lightbow!"

"That is the common wisdom, yes, but! The lightbow is a magical construct. So I thought to myself, if there was a way to transfer magic through a fabric, without transferring air, then it should be possible to make a skin-tight suit which allows featherfolk to fly!"

"Okay! I think I got it!"

"...What's that collar Rainbow's wearing?"

"That is my proof of concept. Twilight, behold: The thaumographic lightbow valve!"

"Huh. That's... actually pretty impressive. Rainbow, you doing okay there?"

"Yeah. It's a little tight, and to be honest I'm having to put more effort in to hover than I usually do. But I'm doing fine."

"Of course, we haven't done any stress testing--how long it lasts, how fast she can go, all that. I know that there's quite a bit of detail in recording that data, and I thought--"

"Right. I need all your notes on how you made this, and then I need to plan some experiments. If it's atmospherically enclosed and temperature resistant, that could theoretically enable you to fly to space! I wonder if this only works for pegasus aspected people. If you could make a headband..."

Author's Notes:

Pegasus aspects can project their wings through anything that's sufficiently air-permeable, including most fabrics. Silk presents problems. Pressure suits? Forget about it... unless the fabric's magically conductive.

Botanical Supplements, by Masterweaver

Fluttershy yawned, her voice just a little out of sync with her vocal cords, and swung her legs out from her sheets with an audible creak. She idly scratched some twigs from her hair as she stood, eyes twitching underneath still closed lids while her feet dragged her slowly to the bathroom. The sound of water falling managed to trigger a reaction, and she blearily let the light in to see her hand had turned the shower on without any conscious decision from her. An inexorable groan marked her dragging her feet into the chamber, faintly smiling as the water began to pool around her gnarled toes.

Slowly, her mind grumbled to more and more activity. Her hands went to the unseeded flowerpot resting next to the shampoos, scrubbing the soil within over the rough skin of her feet. She giggled as a flower in her hair began to bloom, and twirled her long hair in the falling stream. The bathrobe she wore slipped off when she remembered it, letting her scrub her skin with the special soap Tree Hugger had made. Idle song, not unlike that of a bird, began to pour from her lips as she tended to herself.

When the last of the soil caked around her toes had swirled down the drain, Fluttershy finally turned off the water and reached out for a towel. She paused as she walked by the mirror, tilting her head at the petals atop her head. Her fingers reached up to it... and then, with a whimsical smile, she lowered them. With a towel around her she walked into the hall, humming some odd Coltic tune.

Author's Notes:

Definitely iffy on this one's canonicity.

Not How to Make Skooma, by FoME

Crystal Prep's library was, like all other aspects of it, the best money could buy. Shelves filled more floor space than most apartments, and every computer was top of the line. Not that that counted for much; the web browsers didn't have a blacklist but a whitelist of permitted websites, and every potential new addition had to get Principal Cinch's approval. As such, it was one of the few high school libraries in the country where students still did a considerable amount of research with physical books.

Two of them sat side by side, each reading a voluminous text. After several minutes, Moondancer cleared her throat. "So."

"Yes?" Sugarcoat said with signature sharpness.

"I heard you went to see Twilight Sparkle the other day." It would've been a carefree tone had it come from someone who hadn't once dismissed chitchat as what lesser minds did instead of think.

"Through Lemon Zest, I assume."

"She was loudly scorning everyone for not participating and getting to see, and I quote, 'the kawaii-as-balls shoujo-ai up ins.'"

Sugarcoat put down her book, her brow furrowed. "Translation?"

"I'm not entirely sure. It's why I brought it up."

"That and your crush on Twilight was vastly more obvious than mine."

Moondancer blushed all but shoving her face into her book. "I don't know what you're talking about."

An indigo shape came closer in her peripheral vision. "You even copied her hairstyle."

Moondancer brought a hand to her bun, secured with an elastic band through which she'd threaded her crescent-moon icon. "I thought it looked nice."

"That's certainly one reason," said Sugarcoat. "Why are you bringing this up?"

"Well..." Moondancer put down the book, took a deep breath, and faced Sugarcoat. "How did it go?"

Sugarcoat scowled more deeply than usual and looked away. "She wasn't interested."

Moondancer bit her lip. "B-because of orientation, or—"

"I don't know if they've made it official yet, but she's basically dating God."

It took a few moments for Moondancer to process that. She wilted. "Oh."

Sugarcoat shrugged. "It's Twilight Sparkle. I don't think anyone at Crystal Prep was ever in her league."

"I don't think any of us were even playing the same sport." The girls shared a sigh. After a few moments, Moondancer said, "So, if you're not doing anything this weekend..."

Sugarcoat gave her a long, appraising look. She finally spoke as Moondancer felt her cheeks redden. "Start using conditioner and we'll talk."

Author's Notes:

Because MoonSugar.

Sun and Stars, by Masterweaver

"Huh." Twilight flicked through her feed, before looking up from her smartphone. "Sunset?"

"Yeah?"

"Your followers are trying to legalize polygamy."

"Really?"

"Well, technically they're trying to legalize 'romantic groupings,' which covered polyandry as well, and they're getting a lot of help from the Wholesome, but... basically, yes."

"Why?"

"Apparently, since you're a pony, they've assumed your society follows social norms related to horses and practices... similar things."

Sunset considered this, and gave a shrug. "They're not starting wars over this, are they?"

"Well, no, but--"

"Then I'm cool with it."

Twilight blinked. "You... support...?"

"Twilight, to be honest, I couldn't care less how people express their love for each other. Love for me, sure, that's personal, but what goes on in the bedroom stays in the bedroom." She shuddered. "Trust me on this."

"Oh. Well..." Twilight coughed. "Um. Wow. Uh... I mean, you realize this kind of... if you ever started dating—"

Sunset rolled her eyes. "Look, if it helps, I'll throw up a whole 'everyone in the relationship must agree to everyone in the relationship' speech on my next EweTube video, okay?"

"Yeah, that would help." Twilight chuckled. "I mean, a lot of people might want to court you due to, you know, the whole power thing, but nobody would ever look twice at me."

Sunset blinked, giving her an odd look.

"...what?"

"...Nothing." She shook her head. "Nothing at all."

"No seriously, what? Why'd you give me that look?" Twilight threw up her hands. "Is this about Sugarcoat? I'm pretty sure she's a statistical anomaly!"

Sunset stared straight ahead.

"What, you think that there are more Crystal Prep students that were secretly crushing on me?" Twilight snorted. "That's ridiculous."

Sunset said absolutely nothing.

"...Isn't it?"

Sunset very pointedly didn't mention the Society of Aspiring Sparkle Suitors meeting she had been invited to, or the thirty-something members who were present, or the large list of potential new members hanging on a wall.

"...Yeah, you're right. It's totally crazy."

Stark Reality, by ArtieStroke

"And with the final design for the thaumatic reactor being sent in for patenting, we can begin the industrial phase as soon as your return from Saddle Arabia."

Fancy Pants nodded, flipping through the fiscal notes of the current quarter, "Excellent news, Mrs. Spice, excellent indeed! I look forward to Fancy Industries finally getting more of a leg up in the new market for magical technology- hmm... remind me to schedule a board meeting for a portmanteau branding session."

"Yes sir, Mr. Pants," Spice said, jotting down a note. There was a small moment of silence before she spoke up again.

"Sir, I... may I voice some concerns?"

Raising his eyebrows in surprise, Fancy Pants, "I don't know what impression I gave that would suggest otherwise- I value your input highly, Mrs. Spice."

"Well..." She shifted a little, "I'm just a little worried- a technological demonstration in Saddle Arabia? And so close to the border with Tauros? To be frank, sir, it seems ill conceived."

Fancy Pants nodded, "Ah, is that all?"

He stood up, clapping a hand reassuringly on his assistant, "I assure you, I have taken every measure of precaution for this trip. Security detail, professional military assistance- I believe the common folk refer to it as "The Works", yes?"

"Yes, that sounds about right."

Fancy Pants smiled, "So, chin up! Nothing could possibly go wrong!"


"Billionaire philanthropist and magitech powerhouse CEO of Fancy Industries has been declared missing during a demonstration in Saddle Arabia," the news anchor declared. Snails blinked once, a spoonful of cereal dripping back into his bowl. He shrugged once, and went back to eating.

"Mom, your boss is on the news."

Author's Notes:

I get the feeling that Fancy Pants won't have nearly as many problems with alcoholism.

Re-Markable, by Masterweaver

As the baby dragon rushed past her to his own tiny throne, the pinkish purple unicorn looked about the room and swallowed as the door swung shut behind her.

"I know there's no excuse for what I did, but I want you all to know that I'm ready for whatever punishment you think is fair."

The purple alicorn in one of the thrones smiled sympathetically. "I've been thinking a lot about how badly Equestria fared without just one group of friends. Because even when one friendship dies, the results can be disastrous."

"I know first-hoof how true that can be..." The unicorn kicked at the floor, eyes downcast.

"And that's why I've asked you here. If you're willing to learn, I'm willing to teach you what I know. You'll have the power to—"

There was a rapid pounding on the door. "Hey! Princess Twilight! Are you in there?!"

The alicorn blinked. "Excuse me a second." She stood and walked over, opening it. "Oh! Hello, Twilight—"

"Sunset says this world underwent temporal fragmentation recently so she sent me to check and make sure that everything's okay—"

"Oh, don't worry, that situation's been dealt with. Mostly. As a matter of fact, we're in the middle of wrapping it up right now."

"Really? You don't mind if I sit in, do you?"

Twilight hemmed. "Well, most of the magical and technical matters have been handled, and what's left is... kind of..." She rolled a hoof, trying to find a good word. "It's... it's a princess thing."

"Politics?" The voice on the other side of the door sighed. "Well.... can you give me your notes on the whole thing? I can head to the library and look over them, see if there's anything we should be worried about."

"Ah, well, I mean, I can see why you'd be interested, but—"

"You did take notes, right?"

"Like you said. Politics. Classified. I don't... It's really complicated and I really am in the middle of something important. I'll have to look through the files to see what I can tell you--"

"Alright, alright. Just... look, as soon as you're done with that, we really need to talk. Sunset's worried about the seven other worlds."

"The— What?"

"The other worlds. The ones that sprung up when your timeline fragmented. She's not sure, but it's possible they all connect to the portal on Earth—"

"OOOOOOOOOOKAY! That is important. Good to know. Look, go wait in the library, and I super promise I will explain everything when I'm done here. Okay? Okay." Twilight shut the door quickly, turning back to the assembled ponies. "So! As I was saying—"

"Was that some sort of mutant minotaur?" Starlight asked. "Did you have some mutant minotaur baby?"

"AS. I. WAS. SAYING." Twilight cleared her throat, schooling her expression into a polite smile. "Starlight Glimmer, I'd like for you to become my student and learn the magic of friendship."

"What was that she said about other worlds? Do all those other timelines still exist?!"

"Magic of friendship!" Twilight shouted. "So you don't have to be alone anymore! What do you say?"

"Sweet Celestia, what have I done?!"

Twilight sighed, dragging a hoof down her face. "Okay, Starlight? Breathe. This isn't nearly as bad as the time I almost destroyed the universe."

Author's Notes:

Oh, that's why the Map wanted Twilight and Twilight at Twilight's castle. :raritywink:

Also, I have an answer to how the splintered timelines and mirror portal interact. You can read it here.

Long May He Rein, by SaintAbsol

"I'd still like to know why the shift occurs in one direction, but not the other."

"That's a problem for another day; besides, you said it yourself, this is just a social visit."

"Right... a social visit, involving a trans-dimensional portal and a meeting with a dei—"

"Twilight..."

Princess Twilight, now in the shape of a unicorn-aspect human, frowned at Sunset from across the lunch table. The rest of their friends, including her doppelganger, were seated at the same table, having conversations of their own (with a full mouth in the case of Rainbow Dash) as the two of them discussed things from their respective sides of the mirror. "Look, Sunset," she said. "I realize you don't like the word, but it's objectively what you are right now. Even if you didn't have a direct connection to this reality, you're still far more powerful that the vast majority of others, have some level of at least quasi-immortality, and—whether you want them or not—a group that worships you; you are a deity, Sunset."

"I know..." Sunset groaned, her head coming down to meet the table with a dull 'THUNK'. "Just... I don't like to think to hard on it; I'm trying to stay grounded." She eventually brought her arms up to rest her head on them. "Can't we talk about something else?"

Twilight still frowned, but eventually sighed and decided to honor her friend's request. "Well, if we can't talk about that, and you don't want to talk about magic... there is one thing that's been bothering me about this world."

Sunset glanced toward the rest of their friends, who were all doing a remarkable job of pretending they weren't listening now. "Well, I'm hardly an expert, but I guess it's better than nothing."

Twilight hesitated. "Well... it's like back in Equestria, only... there, there's a reason for it, given... well, the dominant species and all, but here... it... well, it's sorta..." She groaned. "Why are there so many naming conventions that seem to relate back to ponies?"

The entire table blinked.

"Or... I suppose you call them... 'horses', but..."

Sunset took over. "That word is spelled with a 'W' back in Equestria," she explained to the other group. It wasn't long before the light of understand sparkled in their eyes, and an uncomfortable silence followed. "But... now that you mentioned it, I never really noticed before, but you're right, it is a little—"

"It's because of Glitterhoof."

Sunset and Princess Twilight both looked toward Pinkie Pie. "Glitterhoof?"

"Yeppers!" The Party Girl smiled. "Waaaaaaaaaaaay back when Scandaneighvia was still called 'Norway', there was this horse that showed up right when the king was having a tough time. He had these really sparkly hooves, and everyone started referring to him as Glitterhoof; the king took a liking to him and started riding him into battle and almost always won when he did. When the king got old, he ended up naming the horse as his heir, since him and his sons didn't get along."

Princess Twilight's face grew entirely deadpan. "You're making this up..."

"Nah, she's tellin' the truth." Rainbow Dash finally managed to swallow the mess of food she'd been chowing down on. "It's the one part of history class I paid attention to. Glitterhoof was crowned after the king died, and the sons started a rebellion. They would have probably killed the horse and taken the crown back, if the king's general hadn't decided that even a horse would make a better king than any of them and started riding Glitterhoof into battle himself.

"The sons weren't all that smart, so their rebellion didn't last more than a few years. And, by then, Glitterhoof had kinda endeared himself to most people, meaning that more and more of them were okay with having a horse for a ruler and a few towns even started changing their names to some sort of horse-pun. Plus... well, he had a lot of really strange luck while he reigned. Pretty much everything seemed to go right for his country; good weather, good crop yields, and the citizens generally prospered. It got to the point that, when Glitterhoof died, they actually crowned a colt he'd sired as the next king."

Twilight and Sunset both openly gaped as Rainbow Dash, of all people, started to explain about how this horse-run kingdom went on to, mostly out of luck and the 'king's' court using some creative politics, ended up encompassing a good portion of the world, complete with their horse-themed naming conventions for both towns and (later) citizens. To the point that, even when it finally fell, the naming conventions stuck around to the modern day. By the end of it, both of them could only stare dumbly for several minutes.

"This..." Sunset finally started. "This is a joke... it has to be a joke."

The human Twilight gave Sunset an incredulous look. "You've lived here for years, and you never learned the history?"

"It was never a huge priority. I usually just stole answer keys to pass most of my tests back when I was... less nice."

Princess Twilight's mouth worked for another moment, before she finally managed to speak once more. "I... you... how do you know this much about it?" She pointed a fist at Rainbow Dash, forgetting about her fingers for a moment.

Rainbow Dash just smirked. "Cause I'm named after one of Glitterhoof's successors, duh!"

Author's Notes:

Inspired by this fascinating game of Crusader Kings 2. I'm not saying this is canon... but I'm not saying it isn't.

Also, by this point, the universe has stabilized to the point where pony Twilight can come visit. Call it about a year later.

Cry to the Heavens, by Masterweaver, Jenna Cipher, and FoME

(Masterweaver)

"Ow!" Sunset frowned, leaning down. "An orange? Who would throw an orange at me?"

"I'M RELEVANT!"

She turned to see a man she'd never met dancing on a rooftop next to a crate of oranges.

After a moment, she shrugged, tossed the orange to her other hand, and continued walking.


(Jenna Cipher)

"And the guy just threw an orange at you?"

"Yep"

"Well... Who was he?"

Sunset paused for a moment, a small frown appearing on her face, before she turned back to her friend and responded.

"I have no idea Applejack... I have no idea."


(FoME)

Sunset thought nothing of it until the next day.

"I'M RELEVANT!"

"I'M RELEVANT!"

"I'M MORE RELEVANT!"

Oranges fell like rain.

"Of course," Sunset grumbled from beneath her energy shield. "Of course they'd turn it into a way to worship me."

The Care and Feeding of Minions, by Masterweaver

"Look, Sunset, I get that you're a god and all now—"

"I am really uncomfortable with that word—"

"—and I know we kind of avoided you after the whole demon thing—"

"That is entirely understandable—"

"—but I'm really freaking out here. I, I don't know who else to turn to, and..."

Sunset, not for the first time, let out a sigh. "Okay, Snips. I'll come with you."

"Great! It-it's this way." The stocky teenager waved a hand, running down the road. "We've got to hurry!"

Sunset rolled her eyes, easily keeping up with her former minion. "Will you at least tell me what's going on?"

"You know how you transformed us into those flying demon things back when you were evil?"

"Yeah, so?"

"I think there might have been side effects!" Snips gestured. "Like, when you fixed magic, the connection or something did something!"

Sunset frowned. "That... could be serious, actually. What kind of side effects?"

"Well, I didn't notice anything before, but now that I think about it, I might be, I dunno, smarter? Like I'm finding all my schoolwork a little easier or something! But what's really important is Snails," Snips emphasized. "I mean, you know what he's like, not all there at all—"

"So you think he couldn't resist this whatever as much, so he's more seriously affected?"

"Yeah! I mean—" Snips stopped suddenly, gesturing at a door. "Look, you have to promise not to freak out, okay? Just... look in there. Sneaky like."

Sunset frowned, flicking her eyes toward the door. The gem on her forehead glowed for a moment or two. "...Okay, so... Snails is taking ballet."

"He's wearing a tutu and everything!" Snips clutched his head. "I mean, when he told me he seemed so happy, I had to pretend it was cool and get out of there—"

Sunset facepalmed.

"...What?"

"Snips, you know how I threatened to expose your, and I quote, 'super geeky papercraft artwork' in order to get you to work for me?"

"Uh..." The teenager's eyes darted left and right. "Y-Yeah. I, uh. Yeah. You still haven't, right?"

"No. And frankly it was wrong of me to do that, and your artwork is actually pretty good and you should be proud of it, but that's besides the point right now." Sunset let her eyes open. "How do you think I managed to get Snails on board?"

"Uh... I dunno. I always thought you just told him to do something and he did, because he's kind of stupid."

"...I threatened him like I threatened you."

"Wait, Snails has super geeky papercraft artwork?"

Sunset rolled her eyes. "Snails has taken ballet class for as long as I've known him."

Snips' eyes bulged. "Wait, what?"

"Yeah. Before I came to Earth, even." She nodded. "He's got the legs for it, you've got to admit."

"Uh--but--I thought..." Snips gulped. "Um."

"You thought....?"

"I... thought that maybe... your, uh, impulses might have imprinted on him, when we were, uh, transformed, and then the magic made them come back?"

Sunset slowly raised an eyebrow as Snips fidgeted.

"Or maybe," she suggested very calmly, "Snails has grown more confident in himself and his interests, as a result of growing up." She shrugged. "Or it could be that he has new magic abilities giving him confidence. Or maybe he just wanted to share something special with his best friend. I don't know."

"Um."

"Also, I don't do ballet."

"Oh."

"I can pull off some mean breakdancing stunts though."

"...Ah." Snips cleared his throat. "So... just to be clear, you're absolutely sure me and Snails haven't been mind-whammied?"

Sunset held up a finger, paused, and then smiled a smile all too familiar to him. "Actually, now that you mention it, it might be good to have you two visit the NAHTI this weekend..."

Author's Notes:

Odds are any perceived increase in intelligence on Snips's part is a combination of gradual maturation and a psychosomatic sense that it's "okay" to be smarter than he gave himself credit for after the Saturation. Not necessarily the only explanation, but a likely one.

As for Snails, he does have the legs for ballet.

The Mare Makes the Clothes, by FoME

"The fashion really interests me," said Twilight.

The Rainbooms looked at her with mixed expressions from their various positions on and around the portal, none more excited than Rarity. "I cannot tell you how wonderful it is to hear that, Twilight! I have always believed that your beauty could truly blossom with just a touch more consideration of your appearance. If you ever wish to—"

"Rarity." Twilight held up a hand. "I appreciate the thought, but that wasn't what I meant."

"Oh. Well, the offer stands."

"What did you mean, Twilight?" said Sunset.

"Well, aside from questions of origin and persistence, it appears that the outfits generated for ponies reflect their mindsets to some degree. My analogue told me she couldn't help but think about how much there was to learn in this world and she came out dressed like a typical student, complete with backpack. Rainbow Dash's analogue came out looking—"

"Awesome," said Dash, lying on the back of the Wondercolt. "Well, up until the moment she punched me in the face."

"I was going to say 'like an NRPG protagonist,' which rather fits her mindset. And Fluttershy's seemed prepared for a safari."

Fluttershy nodded. "She had a new creature to learn about. Focusing on that helped her ignore the scary parts of being in such a strange place."

"So it will be interesting to see what— Oh!"

The base of the statue began to glow. A humanoid figure stumbled out of it. For a few silent seconds, everyone took her in.

"... Huh." Twilight coughed into a fist. "I'm really not sure what I expected."

The new arrival looked to her counterpart. "Hi, Pinkie!"

The local Pinkie returned the enormous smile of the girl clad in the exact same outfit. "Hi, Pinkie!"

Author's Notes:

NRPG stands for Neighponese Role-Playing Game.

And, as it says on the group page, Pinkie is a universal constant.

Living Nightmares, by Jenna Cipher

"No Sweetie Belle, I am your mother..."

"NOOOOOOO!"

"I'm givn' her all she's got captain!"

"Invaders blood marches through my veins like giant radioactive rubber pants! The pants command me! DO NOT IGNORE MY VEINS!"

"Because that is dumb! And you are dumb for thinking that!"

Sunset stared blankly at the scene before her, a very weird sight consisting of a yelling contest between Darth Rarity, Sweetie Skywalker, Chief Engineer Applebloom 'Scotty' Scot, Invader Spike, and Rainbow Caboose. With frustrated sigh, she turned to the rest of her friends.

"A spell that turns people into whatever they dressed up as for halloween... Not the weirdest thing I've seen this year, but what are you supposed to be Fluttershy?"

Sitting next to her on the ground, a cream colored police box with three butterflies on it's side let out a faint wheezing sound, that if one focused hard enough, could be interpreted as a very quiet 'eep'.

Author's Notes:

"What have we learned, Twilight?"

"Don't take magical inspiration from Peppy the Vampire Stabber?"

"I meant test new spells in a controlled environment, but that's probably a good rule of thumb as well."

Creative Control Freak, by Masterweaver

"Hello. I'm a talking dog named Spike. And here, I review things. So, we decided to call this web show... Candid Canines!"

"Spike!"

"Fine, Candid Canine, singular."

"Spike..."

"I'm a canine, and I'm candid, and I want another C word because I like alliteration."

"Spike, seriously."

"Look, Spike Reviews isn't really going to get any hits. It's like... there are a lot of Spikes, aren't there? There's the vampire Spike, there's the dragon Spike, the Happy Days Spike—"

"Look, I just thought you'd want to spread your opinion of human culture!"

"I do, Twi, seriously, but... can we try some other title? Something less generic?"

"He's got a point."

"Moooom!"

Author's Notes:

"He really does."

"Do you just follow me all the time now?"

"Only when it's funny; I blame Pinkie Pie."

"Can I get you something to drink, Sunset?"

"No thank you, Mrs. Velvet, the gag's nearly done."

Mass Transit Gloria Mundi, by FoME

Sunset had learned a lot over the years since the Saturation, but she'd never quite figured out how to keep people from holding her up on a pedestal. The various sects and interpretations had calcified, a generation had been born into a new world and taught that the nice woman with the ketchup-and-mustard hair was a goddess, and all the powers of Harmony couldn't overcome sheer cultural momentum. At least, not in a way that would let Sunset live with herself afterwards.

Twilight and the others helped with both the frustration and keeping Sunset grounded. If Sunset was honest with herself, even the frustration itself helped, reminding her of the disharmonious emotions that anchored her to humanity. Her very nature made such things slippery, and without them, she could all too easily slip towards the same distant dissipation as the Tree.

Sunset felt very grounded at the moment, rubbing her temples and wincing at the potential wordplay.

"Have I displeased you, o Brilliant One?" asked Flying Buttress, an all-too-earnest earth-aspected architect.

Sunset took a deep breath. "Part of it is just nostalgia, Mr. Buttress." Seeing nothing but a cleared foundation where Canterlot High once stood did leave an ache in her heart, but it was nothing compared to the building migraine. "However—"

Buttress dropped to his knees. "Speak, and I will correct the mortal flaws imposed upon your vision."

She knelt, took his hand, and dragged him to his feet. Once Buttress was done marveling at his own palm, Sunset said, "Don't get me wrong, the blueprint looks amazing. It's just that this is supposed to be a transit hub." She patted the still-standing horse statue containing the portal. "It and its counterpart in Equestria are meant to make it easier for people to move from universe to another. Instead, you have designed a cathedral. It's a very nice cathedral, just not what I'd asked for."

Flying Buttress looked back and forth between Sunset and the blueprint for the better part of a minute. Finally, he said, "So... you didn't mean facilitating a spiritual journey to approach your divine equinity?"

Sunset took a deep breath and fought the urge to facepalm. "No. No I did not." She held up a hand before he could debase himself again. "You're forgiven; we all make mistakes, and yes, that does include me. And a lot of the design elements can stay; I had something like Pone Station in mind anyway. I just don't want the first thing my mentor sees when she visits this world to be a twenty-foot-high brass statue of me. That doesn't exactly scream that I've gotten over my megalomaniacal phase."

Buttress considered this for a moment. "If I may speak freely, Highest of the High?"

Sunset nodded, wondering who kept coming up with all of those honorifics.

"You are the undisputed mistress of the universe."

"Yes, but that doesn't mean I have to flaunt it."

Author's Notes:

Original credit for the idea goes to Lurks-no-More.

Set Your Preferences, by Masterweaver

Seven friends quietly ate lunch together. Five of them shared glances, awkwardly trying not to stare at the last two. There seemed to be an unspoken tension.

Sunset sighed, putting down her sandwich. "Okay. What is it?"

Rarity bit her lip. "It's... it's nothing, darling—"

"Girls, I'm literally relying on you to keep me from going megalomaniac. If you're not comfortable asking questions, then... how will you be comfortable telling me when I'm wrong?"

"It's not like that!" Rainbow Dash insisted. "It's... really, it's just nothing."

Sunset lidded her eyes.

"...Oh, heck." Applejack took off her hat. "Look, Sunset, back when this all started, ya... kinda mentioned you weren't attracted ta baldin' apes cause you thought of yourself as a unicorn. But now..." She trailed off.

"Wait, is this about me?" Twilight asked.

"Um." Fluttershy smiled awkwardly. "Maybe? It's really more about Sunset, and... neither of you have to answer if you don't want to—"

"Did your transformation into a semi-abstract entity responsible for monitoring the stability of reality affect your personal preferences?" Pinkie asked quickly.

Sunset rolled her eyes. "Well it..."

She paused.

"...You know, now that I think about it... huh. I think I might be an asexual demiromantic?" She shrugged. "Or something. I don't know. I guess I'll figure it out..."

Author's Notes:

"You know, I did develop a bit of a crush on Princess Twilight before I met you. Maybe I'm just Twilightsexual."

"Sunset, if you really do love me, you'll never use that term again."

"Deal."

Revere the Hounds, by Jenna Cipher and FoME

(Jenna Cipher)

Sunset Shimmer stared gaping at the paper floating before her, as if not quite having registered its utter stupidity. Shaking her head, she finally looked up at Twilight, sitting in front of her. and spoke.

"A weapons enthusiast who joined one of my stupid churches wants my blessing for her to create something called... a war corgi!?"

Twilight frowned. "What the heck is a war corgi?"

"That's what I want to know..."

(FoME)

"Granted, this is the girl who asked to be the pope of the Church of the Divine Bacon Horse."

"Seriously?" Twilight snorted, then saw Sunset's serious expression. "You didn't!"

Sunset shrugged. "Well, she did ask first."

"'First come, first served' is no basis for a system of religious hierarchy!"

"It is when it's one as ridiculous as that." Sunset frowned. "Going back to war corgis, where's Spike?"


The assembled dogs of Canterlot sat before their leader, entranced as he paced from side to side of the stage.

"We shall chase them up the branches, we shall chase them through the picnic grounds, we shall chase in the fields and the streets, we shall chase in our homes, we will never surrender."

The air around the gazebo filled with excited barks and yips. Then a squirrel passed by and the barks and yips pursued it, along with their sources.

Author's Notes:

I may have added the bit about the bacon papacy, but it was originally Jenna's idea. You'll see how and why in a few snippets.

Assume a Spherical Walrus, by FoME

Luna had been happy to accept managing dreams. She still didn't completely trust Sunset Shimmer. The girl had clearly turned over a new leaf, but Luna remembered her own regrettable youth too well to trust a teenager as mistress of the universe. Anything she could take off of Sunset's workload would be a load off of both their minds.

However, minds soon became the issue. What Luna hadn't realized and Sunset likely hadn't known was that most people were always dreaming a little, at least by whatever definition magic used for the term. Any thoughts that weren't focused on the here-and-now counted, which meant that Luna could tell where most people were by the faint mental static of abstract thought. She could even tune in to it to get a vague sense of what they were thinking, but the key word was "vague;" most of the time it was a mishmash of memories and speculation that wasn't even put into words, much less a coherent flow.

The signal that cropped up unannounced in the middle of her office needed no introduction. There was no mistaking the only mental signal that left an aftertaste centered on her headgem. Luna didn't even look up until she finished filling out the form she was working on. "I trust you know why I asked you here, Mr. Discord?"

"Come now, Lulu. You don't really expect the disciplinarian act is going to work on me, do you?" Mr. Discord beamed, brightening up the office past Luna's preferred illumination level. "After all, I remember when I used to bounce you on my knee."

"Be that as it may, we have been getting calls from concerned parents about your classes. You are terrifying your students."

"Oh, please. I'm just getting their attention. I have to get them to look away from their phones somehow, and creating wireless interference makes me feel like a lazily written horror movie." Mr. Discord threw off his hockey mask in disgust.

Luna crossed her arms. "Don't you think sending them to an airless void is a little extreme?"

Mr. Discord threw up his hands, which clung to the ceiling. "There's plenty of air! Just not in the demonstration area. I assure you as I have assured them, I have complete control over the pocket dimension."

"I don't suppose I could convince you to keep your classes in this one?"

"Don't be ridiculous! Everyone knows that high school-level physics happens in a frictionless vacuum!"

Author's Notes:

Credit for the idea goes to xkcd. The chapter title comes from one of the most memorable pop quizzes I've ever taken and seems perfect for a Mr. Discord short.

Also, friendly reminder that Mr. Discord is the principals' uncle.

Work That Bodhi, by Tophe

The orderly rows of the Apple orchard looked neat, were an efficient layout, and tended to make people zone out while doing chores. So by the time Applejack noticed the strange new tree in this row, she'd raked almost right up to it.

She walked around, examining it from all sides. There was a sense of wrongness about it; perhaps Applejack's earth-aspect magic was warning her that this wasn't an ordinary apple tree. Or perhaps it was just the maroon bark, grey leaves, and disjointed variety of fruit growing on it (two pears, three bananas, zero apples, and a potato) that was giving that impression.

Applejack leaned on her rake, tilting her head, her hand on her chin. Eventually, the potato opened its eyes. "Are you enjoying yourself?" came a clipped Fillydelphian accent from somewhere in the tree's branches.

"Hi there, Mr. Discord. Should I ask what exactly yer doin' here?"

"Oh, just getting in touch with my arboreal side. It's the latest thing, or so I presume. Fluttershy's spent some time as a tree, one of Sunset's projections is a tree... I assure you, all the cool kids are in on this new craze. I simply had to see what all the fuss was about."

"That's nice and all. Could you maybe be a tree somewhere else, though? Yer messin' up the row, and I think the actual trees ain't comfortable around you."

"Oh, must I? I really thought this was a good spot. If there's any cosmic enlightenment to be gleaned from this new meditative technique, I'll have a better chance of gleaning it if people stop interrupting me every nine minutes."

"Hey now, I only interrupted you once—"

"Yes, sorry, you've been very polite." Mr. Discord's leaves rustled. "Unlike some people I could mention. The way my nieces reacted, you'd think we didn't have people around who can rebuild the NAHTI with a snap of their fingers."

Rutaceae, by Masterweaver

"So you know that your principal's a bitch, right?"

"Yeah, she's my aunt." Lemon Zest leaned left, neatly dodging Rainbow's hot-coffee spit take. "See, I've learned to expect that response—"

"Your aunt is Abacus Cinch?!"

"Mmhmm. Auntie Abby, I call her. Gets me detention every time."

"That—That..." Rainbow tapped her chin. "Actually, that kind of explains a lot about you. In sort of a 'rebelling against your elders' way."

"Yeah. Weird thing, my mom's actually the older sister," Lemon explained. "Famous food critic, I think she's a unicorn aspect now? Everyone was surprised when she got pregnant, but bing-bang-boom, all that. She sent me over to Crystal Prep cause it's supposedly 'the best', but..." She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, me and the other students didn't gel, you know?"

"Huh. You know, Twilight says they have high standards for scores over there. Why didn't you get kicked out?"

"Total legit genius. If I actually gave a shit I might have trumped Twilight... maybe." The Shadowbolt leaned back. "Sort of like Pinkie, you know? I mean I don't know if you get the logistics that go behind all her stunts, even with magic laughter power, but I guarantee you that brain is operating at warp speeds on a slow day. Of course, warping the mind leads to warped thoughts, which explains Pinkie and me; we're too smart to be sane. Sort of like Uncle Dissy was."

Rainbow nodded. "Right, right, Cinch is mister Discord's ex—Wait. Hold on." She pointed a finger. "That means you're Principal Celestia's cousin!"

"Cousin-in-law, twice half-removed."

"...what?"

"Genealogy is fuckin' weird."

Author's Notes:

It's the taxonomical family of the lemon tree.

Cloudy with a Chance of Bacon Bits, by Jenna Cipher and FoME

(FoME)

AND NOW, A SPECIAL REPORT

Aria gritted her teeth, fists clenched on the news desk. "Breaking weather news—"

"Wacky Weather."

"Zip it, Adagio. She's not here, we don't have to use her stupid names for things. In breaking weather news, regions worldwide have experienced showers of unicorn-shaped pieces of bacon. Sunset Shimmer has denied all responsibility. Sonata Dusk has probably claimed about twenty pounds of the stuff off of the dirty ground and I hope she gets food poisoning and a heart attack at the same time."

"Oh, be nice. We're like sisters."

"You literally grabbed the first two sirens who'd listen to your stupid idea without trying to eat you."

"Not true. Sonata listened while trying to eat me." Adagio turned back to the camera. "After earlier silence on the matter, the Carnifex Maxima Pope Ruby I has declared the bacon manna from heaven. Vegan contingents of the Church of the Divine Bacon Horse are calling for her resignation, decrying bacon as an inequine food product regardless of its divine symbolism."

Aria snorted. "They were definitely raising pigs back in the day in Nova Scoltia."

"Newfinnedland."

"Whatever. Her mane doesn't even look like bacon."

"You think that's going to stop them?"

"Point." Aria held a hand to her ear. "Huh? What you mean we're on live? Why didn't you say something earlier!?"

"No one has yet claimed responsibility for the event, but we'll have more as the story develops."


(Jenna Cipher)

Sunset Shimmer knew exactly who was at fault, because they'd left a note, a glass of chocolate milk, and a single cotton candy cloud right on her doorstep. Which led to now, where she sat at the same lunch table as usual, with her friends.

"Wait... So if it wasn't you, and it wasn't another one of Twilight's screw ups while trying to invent a new spell, then who was it?" Rainbow Dash questioned, ignoring Twilight's faint yell of frustration at the mention of her 'screw ups'.

Sunset sighed and launched her explanation.

At the same time, lounging around in the clouds, Discord chuckled and brought another bacon rainstorm into existence over the White House.

"Chocolate rain? What was my counterpart thinking? Bacon rain is so much more rewarding!"

Author's Notes:

Jenna gets top billing since she came up with the idea first. I just though her snippet worked better as the punchline.

Also, Mr. Discord cleaned everything up shortly afterwards. This was merely a test of his capabilities. An amusing test, but a test.

Also also, any resemblance between Ruby I and a certain girl with an affinity for scythes that are also sniper rifles is entirely intentional. Pegasus-aspect, if you're curious.

Oh, and credit for the chapter title goes to MythrilMoth; it used to be "Rasher Decision."

Foster Services, by Masterweaver

"Okay." Sunset put down the paper. "First question: What kind of whacked-out drug was this guy on?"

"The thrill of discovery, mixed with a bit of mania."

"Oh, sure, yes. That totally explains why the guy created a species of human-sized green humanoid rats, stuffed them in SWAT vests, and proclaimed himself the dictator of..." Sunset looked down at the paper again. "Punkeydoodles Corners? Is this a real place?"

"As it turns out, yes."

"...alright. So, after you find out about the situation, your first response was to ask Fancy Pants to airlift you and your... still unnamed super-hero club over to the region."

"Well, I figured it would be decent training, and some of the younger members have been hoping for something more than just street-level thugs. I did make it clear they would have to stick with the adults, of course."

"Right, right. Because that makes total sense. And you dropped yourselves all off, had a battle, captured the bad guy--who for some reason said he would reincarnate as the sun--"

"It's actually very complicated, and it involves Aztlan mythology—"

"I think it'll be easier if we all just agree he was insane."

"Well, true, but with Ahuizotl being a thing, it would be a bit disrespectful."

"I checked, Ahuizotl also thinks the guy is crazy."

"Ah. In that case, he was a mite disturbed."

"Good enough. So you catch the guy, cart him off, and then for some reason decide to adopt the green rat things en masse."

"Well... technically they are now fostered under a program by Fancy, working with PAULDRONS—"

"I'm well aware of the technicalities, Celestia, I'm just wondering about the reasons!"

"...When they realized they didn't have to fight any more, they just... stood there for a few minutes. Between the time their creator was captured and the actual police came... They were acting like children. Young, confused children. One of them got up on a car and made vroom vroom noises."

"Yes, I've seen the video. It's trending."

"My point is.... I couldn't just leave them there. They literally had no idea what they were doing was wrong. They did it because they were scared of the man. And... technically, none of them are a year old yet, so..."

"Ugh. I'm sorry, I know it was the right thing to do, but... this is just... this is crazy."

Author's Notes:

This is apparently based on a dream.

A Glut of Rosy Pastries, by Jenna Cipher

No one in Canterlot could've expected it, and no one could've prepared for it. The first sign of trouble was the small tremors that occurred throughout the early half of the day.

And then the noises started.

funfunfunfunfun!

Fun, is this fun? FUUUUN!!!!!!!!!!

Entirely at random, people going about their day would hear the same word.

Fun.

By the time it became apparent that something was utterly wrong, it was far to late to do anything about it, for the partying horde was already upon them.

And then everything went pink.

Later that day, in the Canterlot High science lab, Sunset Shimmer attempted in vain to stop facepalming, while Twilight stood before her, rubbing the back of her neck sheepishly. Sunset, in between bouts of facepalming, looked at her friend and spoke.

"Clones... Why'd you have to try and invent a cloning spell..."

Author's Notes:

"What if I clone myself to clean up after th— Ow!"

"Thou shalt not clone."

"I don't even worship you."

"It's not a general commandment. I'm telling you to stop duplicating people. It never ends well."

Hypothesis Confirmed, by Giginss

"Sunset! Sunset Shimmer! I simply must have your help in testing my new experimental hypothesis!"

"What is it this tim—WOAGHH!" Sunset materialized inside Discord's lab to the sight of Discord's hand reaching out for her. She ducked, which is exactly what he wanted. Grabbing her hair, he pulled it clean off her head.

"Why did you...what are you doing with my hair?"

"Why, testing an experimental hypothesis! I thought I made that clear."

Sunset stared at Discord, who was currently chewing on a mouthful of her hair.

"What is this hypothesis you are testing?"

Discord finished chewing, and then swallowed. He grinned in triumph.

"I was right all along! I knew it, I knew it!" he cheered.

"You knew what?"

"It really DOES taste like bacon!"

Author's Notes:

"It doesn't count if you make it taste like bacon."

"Oh, you're no fun."

Recharging, by FoME

Contrary to popular belief, educators' summer vacations weren't nearly as carefree as those of the students, especially not those of the principals. There were textbooks to review, budgets to stretch, mad scientists to work around, vigilantes to organize...

Well, maybe some of those were limited to Celestia, though these days, she wasn't too sure about that.

Still, the occasional opening in her schedule did crop up, and that meant time to relax and decompress. That meant it was just her, the sun, a lounge chair, sunglasses, and a bikini that would probably give half of the seniors at CHS heart attacks. For others, the sunbathing would mean working on a tan, but Celestia's particular form of chromelanin would actually make her paler and more reflective. She sighed, feeling her stress melt in the summer heat.

It couldn't last forever, no matter how much Celestia might wish otherwise. After forty minutes, her phone started beeping, strategically placed on a table Celestia couldn't reach from her chair. She got up with a sigh, turned off the alarm, and resisted the temptation to just lie back down. Duty called, whether she liked it or not.

Something seemed off as she went back inside. Just what only occurred to her when she walked by a mirror and registered a bit of movement in the corner of her eye; everything seemed brighter than usual.

At the time, though, she was more concerned with how her hair was glowing and squirming.


Twilight looked up from her book as Sunset manifested, a haunted look in the orange girl's eyes. "Everything okay?"

"The human analogue of my mentor and secondary mother figure was panicking in a bikini as I had to explain that her hair was going through something completely normal. I have so many conflicting feelings that I feel like my head's going to explode."

Twilight tilted her head. "You know, if you listen real close, you can probably hear Dicke Zigarre laughing from beyond the grave."

"Not. Helping."

Author's Notes:

Dicke Zigarre is German for "thick cigar." I could think of no more suitable name for pony Freud.

And yes, OW!Celestia's hair can move if exposed to enough sunlight. Theoretically, Luna's mane could animate and in a similar way, but she's more likely to cause that through heavy magic use than moonlight exposure.

Rapturous, by FoME and Masterweaver

(FoME)

Few people ever pay attention to EweTube ads, but this one drew notice. There was no blaring music, no fast-moving visuals. Just a man looking into the camera, speaking with conviction.

"I am Aqua Regia, and I'm here to ask you a question. Is a man not entitled to the sweat of his brow? 'No,' says the man in Chopperton, 'it belongs to the poor.' 'No,' says the girl in the Baconium, 'it belongs to Sunset.' 'No,' says the man in Neighjing, 'it belongs to everyone.' I rejected those answers; instead, I chose something different. I chose the impossible. I chose... Triumph. A city where the artist would not fear the censor; where the scientist would not be bound by petty morality; where the great would not be constrained by the small! And with the sweat of your brow, Triumph can become your city as well."


"Eccentric billionaire..." Aria frowned at her news copy. "How many eccentric billionaires are there, anyway? Whatever happened to that Ebon Musk guy; he still trying to get into space?"

"We're on live," Sonata singsong-said.

"Please, half our viewers watch us to see when we go off script. Anyway, eccentric billionaire Aqua Regia's viral marketing campaign for his proposed underwater utopia has gotten a lot of interest from fringe communities and a cease and desist order from Ridiculous Games. Mr. Regia has expressed a continued intent to follow through on his project, though he has expressed willingness to rename it. For more, we turn to our senior oceanic correspondent of the day..." Aria tossed a die onto the newsdesk. "Adagio Dazzle."

"Thanks, Aria." Adagio beamed for the camera. "Speaking as someone who's seen her share of underwater cities, allow me to say this: They don't work well if you don't have gills. Sonata?"

"Sunset Shimmer has confirmed that she has no intent of helping with this project, nor any desire for the sweat of anyone's brow but her own. Mr. Regia declined to comment further, saying that his message speaks for itself."

(Masterweaver)

"...Okay." Rainbow Dash waved a hand at the TV. "Are people seriously using magic to mimic whatever they like in fictional media?"

"Well, yes. Childhood fantasies come true and all that." Rarity quirked an eyebrow. "Why, are you surprised?"

"No. Just disappointed." Rainbow sagged in her chair. "I mean... the sirens are reporting on what's literally Triumph City! Underwater cities are cool and all, but isn't the whole point of the game, like, extremist separation from society is bad or something?"

"Or something..."

Solar Wavelengths, by ArtieStroke

"Well, this certainly makes things more worrisome," Fancy said, sipping a can of cola across from Celestia.

"Yes, as if I didn't have enough to worry about with hiding our identities before," Celestia murmured, running a hand through her now slightly animated hair. "I had a hard enough time concealing all this under a wig WITHOUT it moving under its own power."

"Yeah, but you gotta admit, that is pretty cool. In like a weirdly eldritch and freaky way," Wiz piped up, supported by a nod from his brother Featherweight. Celestia smiled.

"Well, I'm certainly glad some of you are getting some entertainment out of it. I bet Luna doesn't have to deal with these kinds of... shenanigans."

"Language," Fancy said, and the three of them burst out chuckling as Celestia rolled her eyes.

"Far be it from me to try and be responsible around children..."

Author's Notes:

The good news is that it stops moving if she spends enough time out of sunlight. The sunlight that fuels her powers. Yeah.

Sensitivity Training, by Masterweaver

Sunset took a moment to compose herself, before taking her once abandoned unicorn form and stepping in front of the crowd. Reverent silence filled the air... right up until she stood by the farmer, at which point there was confused murmuring.

"First of all, similarity of appearance does not mean similarity of species. Secondly, even in Equestria we had manual labor and performance ponies. Thirdly, this woman is not mistreating them in any way. Fourthly, none of these horses are sapient; what do you expect will happen after you quote unquote 'liberate' them? Seriously, I am fine with the situation. In fact, I'll make a video about this whole thing. Expect it Saturday. For now, though, just step off, okay?"

The assembled protesters, most wearing red and yellow, sheepishly dispersed.

With a sigh, Sunset turned to the farmer. "Sorry about this, Miss Jubilee."

"Oh, don't worrah yuaself on mah paht, dahlin'. Ah fullee hundahstan' the whole thang tain't ya fault."

Sunset winced. And she had thought Applejack's accent was thick...

Author's Notes:

I formally apologize to any and all readers residing in the southern United States.

Urd Pony, by FoME

“… Happy birthday, dear Apple Bloom
Happy birthday to you!”

Everyone cheered as Apple Bloom blew out the candles. There weren’t many gathered in her home’s kitchen, just the other Crusaders, her family, and Pinkie Pie, because one didn’t need destiny magic to know that snubbing her wasn’t a good idea.

After the cake came presents: a movie from Scootaloo, a Goops for Stuff sample pack from Sweetie, a Sugarcube Corner gift card from Pinkie Pie.

Applejack smiled as she passed Bloom the last box. “We wanted t’ save this one for last.”

“Oh. Great!” Bloom put on a smile strained enough to serve as baby food as she unwrapped it.

Applejack glanced at Big Macintosh, but looked back in time to see Apple Bloom open the box, revealing a belt buckle shaped like her icon.

“Oh, wow!” Sweetie Belle leaned in close. “I’m still waiting on mine.”

“Still? It’s been like a month.” Scootaloo’s eyes widened. “Not that yours isn’t awesome, AB!”

“Yeah, it’s great.” Apple Bloom turned to her family, her smile more genuine, though visible tension lines still marred it.

“It better be great for what we paid,” Granny Smith muttered. “Back in my day, th’ bespoke shop wouldn’t charge more’n—“

“Hey! Who wants to see how many empty cans I can decorate at once with my new funderbuss?” Pinkie brandished some unsightly hand cannon covered in stickers, not all of which had warning symbols on them.

“Heck yeah!” Scootaloo followed her, dragging Sweetie Belle along.

Applejack put a hand on Apple Bloom’s shoulder and said, “Y’all have fun. I wanna have a talk with th’ birthday girl.” When it was just Apples, she said, “Everything okay, Bloom?”

Apple Bloom stiffened. “Sure! Why wouldn’t it be?”

“Y’ knew what yer gift was ahead o’ time.”

“I… I didn’t mean to! It just happened!”

Granny Smith clicked her tongue. “Hush now, Applejack. I remember a certain li’l girl peekin’ at Yuletide presents plenty o’ times.”

“I didn’t peek!” said Apple Bloom. “I just heard y’all.”

Applejack raised an eyebrow. “We only ever talked about it when you were with yer friends.”

“Yeah, out in th’ orchard.” Bloom tapped her new buckle. “It’s a magic thing. Earth remembers, an’ I know how to ask it, even when I don’t mean to.”

Applejack coughed into a fist. “Oh.” Mac nudged her. She shot back a glare, muttered, “I was gonna,” and turned back to Bloom. “Sorry, sugarcube. I was just lookin’ forward to springin’ this on you.”

“It’s okay.” Apple Bloom sighed. “Y’ know th’ worst part?”

“What’s that?”

Bloom slumped down in her seat. “Earth remembers, but it don’t remember anythin’ before the change.”

Applejack walked to her and held her tight. “They’d be so proud of you.”

Apple Bloom squeezed back. “Thanks.”

Author's Notes:

Hey, all of those cutie mark-shaped accessories had to come from somewhere. I considered calling the shop an "iconoblast," but that felt a little too on-the-nose.

I have more lighthearted ideas planned, but this one demanded my attention.

Also, Goops for Stuff is doing a lot better in the age of Whole Foods and the online marketplace.

ZefRAM Cochrane, by Jenna Cipher

Cookie Crisp stared blankly at her computer, occasionally blowing away a stray few locks of her dark brown hair that would fall down over her face. She brushed her hands across the keyboard, rapidly typing away, her milky white skin blending into the similar color of the keyboard, and her bright blue eyes quickly skimming over the screen, taking in every utterly boring detail with perfect clarity.

"I'm telling you Di, there's nothing on Mars, it's just rocks, rocks, and hmm, and I missing something.... Oh yeah, more friggin' rocks," she frustratedly monologued to what seemed to be thin air. "Honestly, why are we sitting here sending these rovers back and forth. Not like we're gonna find some ancient ruins or anything; this isn't Huggs Field, it's real life."

"Huh, what's that? Sorry, I was running some background simulations," came the bubblier than normal voice of the Paradiamond AI currently connected to her computer.

Cookie Crisp sighed and replied, "It's nothing, just a thought. Anything exciting happening with you?"

The computer's screen once more took on a violet tint as 'Di' spoke back, her voice as ear-piercingly bubbly and high pitched as ever. "Not really, I just cracked the secret to warp drive, but that's not important. So, back to rock watching?"

Cookie nodded. "Yea, whatever, let's just... Wait, WHAT!?"

2 months later...

"No."

"But..."

"I don't care if you MARRY every Space Trek series, we are NOT naming Earth's first warp drive starship 'Enterprise'."

"Awww dang it..."

Author's Notes:

Huggs Field is a trilogy of action RPGs by VivoWare noted for their rich world building, impactful choices, and disappointing conclusion, starring one Commander Shepherd.

Paradiamond systems that can pass the Turing test are more than a few years away from when most of these shorts are taking place. (Of course, the local equivalent is the Turnip test. He wasn't treated any better in that world. :ajsleepy:)

Hunter's Digest, by Masterweaver and FoME

(Masterweaver)

A famous child opera star broke free from her father's grip with newfound unicorn powers but, not used to the real world, ended up using all her money and nearly died on the street before a crazy redhead pegasus aspect picked her up and taught her how to be confident. The red-head's half sister was having a vacation in some eastern countries when she heard about Tirek's reign of terror, and decided to head to Tauros to punch some bad guys with her earth aspect. She found a low-class bookworm griffon aspect, and together they liberated a small section of the town before heading home.

When the sisters met, they introduced their new friends to each other. Tensions rose when it was discovered the child star's father had some dealings with Tirek, but it was agreed that said father was a jackass. Shortly thereafter, Sunset Shimmer showed her video of her original self, the church of the divine bacon horse was formed, and while three of the friends laughed off the new development the redhead was so eager she immediately walked to Sunset's home (which was only three houses away), knocked on the door, and asked to become the pope.

Shortly after being awarded the position (and the resulting paperwork), the redhead wrangled her three friends into helping her to establish a system and order to the whole thing. For a time, they were stressed out and seriously considered abandoning the whole thing, but then an outbreak of a magical disease created angst monsters out of local animals and all four of them (who had combat training for various reasons and had experimented with magic weapons out of boredom) worked together with the members of their church to put the monsters down. After that, they were solidified as bishops in their own right.

All this happened over the course of a month.


(FoME)

Sunset got up when she heard the knock at her door. She opened the door with a smile on her face, though that quickly changed.

"Hi, Sunset!"

"Pinkie."

"Yes?"

Sunset pointed at the device in Pinkie's hands. "What is that thing?"

Pinkie beamed and hefted it up to give Sunset a better look. "It's the Pinkie-portable party cannon! Pee-three-see for short."

"It's a grenade launcher."

"Party bomb launcher." Pinkie put the P3C through a few shifts and clicks. "It's also a hammer!"

Sunset took a deep breath. "Why is it also a hammer?"

"Piñatas."

After taking in the war hammer that any minotaur would've been proud to call his own, Sunset said, "You've been talking to Ruby again, haven't you?"

Twilight looked up from her book. "I told you first come, first served was no way to determine a religious hierarchy."

Author's Notes:

Both Pinkie Pie and Nora Valkyrie in the same world seems a bit much to me. I'm not ruling it out completely, mind you.

Disturbing the Mountain Birds, by ArtieStroke

Blue Oyster frowned.

"No."

"But—"

"NO."

"But it's RIGHT HERE in front of us!" Ditzy pouted. Blue Oyster dragged a hand down her face.

"Listen, I was MOSTLY okay with modeling ourselves after Sailor Luna, and we even got a little more original with it later on! But this, THIS is just TOO FAR!"

"But it's not even a Sailor Luna thing, this is a totally different show!"

"THAT DOESN'T MAKE IT BETTER!"

"Well, even if you don't like it, we still have to deal with it," Ditzy said, hefting up the oversized pearl marked with four stars, "I mean, we probably shouldn't let the other six fall into the wrong hands. Who knows what someone else could wish for with these things!"

"DITZY, YOU ARE NOT MONKEY KID AND THIS IS NOT DRAGON PEARL X! I swear to SCIENCE if we have to fight some weird, alien demon slug calling himself 'King Flute' or something, I am QUITTING THIS TEAM!"

"Alright, alright, no need to blow a gasket... 'Princess Vegetable.'"

And so the legend goes that Blue Oyster's screams could be heard in those very mountains near Neighjing to this very day.

Author's Notes:

I can neither confirm nor deny that Ditzy is herself the seven-star pearl. Assuming that this is even remotely canon. After all, God isn't a humanoid slug man, she's an extradimensional horse.

I'm not God.

You know what I mean.

Donkey Khan, by FoME

Cranky Doodle wasn't.

That is to say, he wasn't cranky. He definitely was in the sense of existing. Some might say he existed more than most people these days, though he wasn't one for that sort of philosophical or magical debate. He was just concerned with instilling some degree of respect for the Wranglish language in kids who were more interested in how much they could mangle into under one hundred forty characters.

Still, he had to admit that that had gotten easier after the world changed. Oh, the kids weren’t any smarter; Cranky swore there were fewer who knew how to think every year. The middle schools were still happy to let students graduate eighth grade without knowing what an adverb was. The change hadn’t even gotten him his hair back.

No, the important changes had been internal. He’d stopped getting ulcers from the idiocies and inadequacies around him. That tickle in his chest he’d never mentioned to anyone had, as he’d silently hoped, gone away. The general malaise that had come from a poorly treated body on the wrong side of sixty wasn’t there anymore, and without that weighing him down, the rest of his burdens had become a lot easier to carry. Even the ears weren’t that bad. He was in good company what with a decent chunk of the population turning into elves, even if his brought basset hounds to mind. Besides, Reader Response would get tired of telling everyone in the faculty area to forget not that he was an ass any day now.

Just as the bad parts of Cranky’s life had improved, so had the good. Matilda was enjoying her magical refreshment just as much as he was, and had taken to researching it. She’d always been more technically and civically minded than he’d been, and now she’d tell him all about her discoveries over dinner. He’d respond to with nods and polite murmurs for most of it, the various tests and testimonials determining just what the rare donkey aspects were capable of. The answer seemed to be “Anything a sane person would volunteer for.”

When the darker moments came to light, he paid more attention. When she mentioned how thousands had simply walked out of Tauros, barely slowed by anything short of Tirek himself, they immediately began discussing what they could do for those who weren’t so lucky. It wasn’t much, but it was better than nothing.

One night shortly after the end of the school year, Matilda chuckled as she sat down.

Cranky couldn’t help but smile. “What is it?”

“One of my websites, one made for donkey aspects. It’s the Internet, so it’s mostly young men, and they’ve gone and found a way to show off.”

He gave a laugh of his own. “Remember that time at the state fair when I tried to win you a teddy bear?”

“You must have spent thirty dollars. I told you they glued down those milk bottles. But these fellows try to one-up one another on how much punishment they can take. They’ll run marathons in parkas, handle dangerous animals, help clean up toxic waste sites…” Matilda shook her head. “They’d probably have all killed themselves a few months ago.”

Cranky shrugged. “With any luck, they’ll grow out of it. Don’t see how that’s funny, though.”

“It isn’t. The funny part is that no one’s been able to top the current leader for more than a week.”

“Oh? What’s he do?”

Matilda beamed, her crow’s feet crinkling. “He teaches at Canterlot High.”

Cranky considered that for a few moments before smirking. “Well, you’re not wrong.”

Author's Notes:

Donkey + human = stupidly tough. We've already minmaxed our Constitution compared to most species. Donkey aspects can take physical, mental, magical, biological, chemical, radiological, and every other kind of punishment imaginable and keep going better than anyone else. They're not invulnerable, but there are times when it seems like they are.

Strange Interlude, by KingMoriarty

The Ancient One raised a hand, letting her sleeve fall all the way down to her elbow for dramatic effect. She smiled, and lowered her hand until her outstretched fingers were framing her head-gem. "You will observe," she explained, "not a glimmer."

She lowered her hand, and held it outstretched over the cell phone that sat on the table. Once she was confident that her guest was watching closely, the Ancient One curled one finger in, then flicked it out to its full length. Two inches beneath her palm, the phone began to slowly spin. There was no aura, no sparkle in her gem, and yet it turned.

"After twenty years of training, ten for the talented ones, this was all my students could hope to accomplish." The phone stopped spinning, and the Ancient One got up from her seat. She walked over to the corner of the room, and gestured towards a boulder that was roughly the size of a transport truck. She extended her hand again, this time in a clawed gesture, and raised both arm and boulder without the slightest spark. "And after living here for half of my life, and training every day, this was the extent of my powers." She set the stone down with hardly a sound, and turned back towards her guest.

"But then, the world changed." The blood-red stone on her forehead flared with a pulse of magic, and Sunset Shimmer's stomach tried to lurch as reality fell away around them. The ceiling above them folded open like a blossoming flower, and the sky that they were sent rocketing into didn't so much blur into nothing as it did bleed. In the space of a second, it was over, and the two of them stood outside of their universe. The Ancient One did a good job of hiding the soul-crushing instinctive terror racing through her mind, while Sunset watched the twirling spheres of far-off realities with a vague stare of acknowledgement.

After an awkward moment while the Ancient One got her bearings, she continued. "Suddenly, everything was different. The fruits of a lifetime of mystical training were transformed into the status quo for a third of the world population. My monastery went from the one true sanctum of magic to just being the first aspect-exclusive club."

"It's kind of remarkable," Sunset cut in. "I actually did a check on everyone who's ever come to you. All the students who left or didn't have the aptitude have become earth-aspect, pegasus-aspect or any other besides unicorn."

The Ancient One smiled, a smile that reminded Sunset of Celestia when she hadn't had her coffee. "Would it be too bold of me to postulate that our aspects have always been with us, and that the transformation did not so much introduce these powers as it did allow us to realize them?"

"Possibly," Sunset admitted. "We still know so little about magic in this universe, of all aspects. We actually know more about the magic systems of that world over there," she pointed at an indistinct sphere on the edge of the multiversal 'horizon', "than we do about the world you live in now. For now, all I can say is that this is one of those coincidences that makes people rattle off quotes about how coincidence is a fiction."

"Magic was a fiction, once. Perhaps the transformation has made coincidence a reality as well."

Sunset smiled wryly at the bald woman, and ripped them back into the monastery. "What is it about magic teachers and having to make every sentence sound like a riddle?" The Ancient One smiled, and floated over two full cups of tea.

"It helps reassure us that, even when the student surpasses the teacher, there will still be something they won't know." She took a sip of her tea, and Sunset followed suit. When that was done, she put the cup down and smiled at the supposed Master of the Mountain.

"So, what happens now?"

"Now? Now, Sunset Shimmer is going to tell me what she's doing here."

"In a word?" Sunset opened her palm, conjuring a hologram of the planet, criss-crossed with holy symbols and company logos. "Outreach. Part of not letting yourself think you're a god is relying on other people, and part of relying on other people is convincing yourself that they fill a role you can't."

"Then, what role may I fill in service of you?"

"Honestly?" Sunset sighed, knowing full well she was about to sound like a lunatic. "There's a team of superheroes that needs supervising, and you're the only person who's both sane enough and powerful enough to keep them in check."

The Ancient One chuckled. "Yes, I've heard of them. One of my students has been talking about trying to restrain them."

"He sounds smart. Maybe he should join them instead, inject some sanity into the venture."

"No, that would never work."

Author's Notes:

I appreciate the wisdom of bald Tilda Swinton as much as the next guy, but this... probably didn't happen. The bit about aspects existing before, though? Spot on.

He'll Save Every One of Us, by Masterweaver and FoME

(Masterweaver)

"Huh. Flash Sentry made the news."

"What, again?"

"Yeah, apparently he singlehandedly stopped a corrupt company from demolishing an orphanage using nothing but a slinkie, his guitar, and the power of apple pie."

"...Par for the course. Popcorn's ready."

"Ooo, good, movie's in two minutes!"


(FoME)

"Flash Sentry says he wasn't fully aware of what happened, but you were there with him. What can you tell us?"

"Well—"

Applejack put a hand over Pinkie's mouth. "No comment."

The reporter blinked. "But—"

"No. Comment."

Author's Notes:

Weaver's logic: "We don't use this character often so OBVIOUSLY he's having amazing adventures off screen."

Old Tarnish, by Masterweaver [Suggestive Content]

"Hey Shining?"

"Yeah Twi?"

"...Um. So, I just... I came back from miss Chrysalis's house—"

Shining Armor whirled. "What were you doing there?!"

"I was just asking how she took care of the Tauros situation!" Twilight squeaked. "I was worried there might, you know, be... loose ends."

The older man took a breath, and slowly let it out. "...she didn't... do anything, did she?"

"No. We just talked." Twilight glanced at the ground. "She seemed... reasonable. Not... aggressive, or... she wanted me to tell you she said hello."

"...oh."

"...Shining. How does she know you?"

Shining Armor sighed. "...You know, I really don't want to tell you, but... I know you'll go looking for answers if I don't tell you. You remember how I used to want to be an actor?"

"Yeah, you said it was the best chance you had to be a real world Ogres and Oubliette hero. And then you suddenly stopped and switched over to police work, because show biz wasn't... all it was cracked up to be?"

"I signed a contract, didn't... read it all the way through. And I panicked a little, but I decided to go through with the thing instead of, you know, going through the legal quagmire of backing out, and drawing the attention of Mom and Dad."

Twilight tilted her head. "What does that have to do with Chrysalis? The only stuff she's been in is..."

Her eyes widened.

"Oh. Oooooooh. Oh... uh... oh."

"Yeah, you may want to stay away from 'Sorceress of Estrogia' if you, uh, ever get the taste for... that sort of thing."

"Aheh."

"....I mean, Chrysalis was actually pretty understanding, but Cadence really doesn't like her because of that—"

"Shining, stop talking. Please. Just... stop talking."

Passion, by Malandy, Jenna Cipher, and Masterweaver

(Malandy)

"Cadenza Amore Alicor, will you marry me?"

"YES! YES! YES!"


"So, where did you get the money for the ring? Being a cop doesn't pay that well..."

"Well..."


(Jenna Cipher)

Chrysalis looked up from her copy of Jewelry Master as a loud, irritated knocking sounded from the front door. Sighing, she stood, walked out into the hallway, and slowly, carefully, unlocked and opened her front door.

"Listen, if this is about last night..."

A pink fist collided with her face, and the world went dark.

(Masterweaver)

Thankfully, it was only dark for five minutes. Unfortunately, she woke up to see her assailant trussed up and gagged.

"...Why is miss Cadenza our hostage?" she asked, calmly.

"Well..." Spinerette cleared her throat. "She... she attacked you, you see."

"Did any of you ask why?"

There was a couple of quiet moments.

With a sigh, Chrysalis walked up to the pink woman and ungagged her. "You have a mean right hook. If you don't mind, I'm going to leave you tied up for this conversation."

"Oh, you must really be getting off on this," Cadence spat.

"Not really. This headache I have gets in the way of enjoying, well, anything."

"I'm so sorry."

"Spinerette, would you mind getting us a couple of glasses of water?"

The young woman jumped, heading to the kitchen.

"So." Chrysalis sat across from the bound Cadence. "I'm pretty sure neither of us wants to bring this to court, but I do feel I should know exactly why you attacked me."

"Oh, you know why."

"No, I don't. That's why I'm asking, you see."

Cadence rolled her eyes. "Fine. You told Shining he owed you a favor! What, are you going to have him come over and--"

"Oh, that." Chrysalis nodded as Spinerette handed her a glass. "Help miss Cadence with her drink, will you?"

Spinerette scowled, but walked over to the bound woman.

"To be quite honest I ran into him entirely by accident." Chrysalis sipped her drink. "I was helping one of my children find her own engagement ring when, well, he walked into the store. Of course there are very few reasons for people to seek jewelry, and given what he was looking at... Shining is an old friend, so I offered to purchase the rings for free. He wouldn't accept that, though. Something about honor or something." She rolled a hand. "So now, he owes me a favor to call in at some future point."

"Right. What kind of favor?"

"Oh, you know, a look through some criminal records, or maybe a rearranging of paperwork... nothing illegal, and certainly nothing sexual." Chrysalis put her glass down. "I know you don't think highly of me, miss Cadenza. My history and my current work speak to a certain... provicality, shall we say, that makes others uncomfortable. But rest assured that I do take sex and sexual relationships very seriously; I would not endanger Shining Armor's future happiness with any attempt at seduction."

Cadence glowered, the effect slightly ruined by the glass Spinerette was levering to let her drink.

Chrysalis sighed. "Honestly... Would you find it at all comforting if I promised not to attend your wedding?"

"...That might help."

"Very well, it is done. Spinerette, would you mind untying our guest?"

The young girl put down the glass with a growl. "Of course not. Let's let the woman who knocked you out run free." She worked at the knots in the ropes. "No consequences whatsoever, right? We're going to let her go, again, and--"

"Spinerette." Chrysalis held out her hands. "All things in balance."

"Hmmph." With a final twist, the ropes fell away. Spinerette pointed from her eyes to Cadance. "I'm watching you, buster."

Business Lunch, by FoME

Rarity felt something of a kinship with the human Twilight Sparkle. Both having headgems was barely part of it. Twilight had a drive that Rarity found quite familiar. Their interests were wildly different, but both pursued them with an unrelenting passion, an unquenchable thirst for excellence that would doubtlessly see them rise to the pinnacle of their respective disciplines.

That kinship resonated deeply one day near the end of the school year, as Rarity approached her customary lunch table and saw Twilight already seated, hunched over something as she wrote furiously.

Rarity placed her apple by Twilight's notebook. "Here."

Twilight flinched up and looked around as though she'd never seen the cafeteria before. Her eyes fell on the apple and still gave no sign of recognition. "Whuh?"

"Food, darling. I'm well familiar with being so inspired that one forgets to eat. Ideas may keep your body going, but it's best to feed it as well, and I doubt that will be enough."

"Right. I'll get something else. Soon." Twilight absently bit into the apple, then stiffened up again. "This... this is actually good."

Rarity nodded. "It should be. Applejack's grandmother runs the cafeteria, and they're rarely wanting for fine produce."

"Huh." Twilight took another bite, considering the fruit as she chewed. "Even Crystal Prep only had two kinds of apple, floury and mushy."

"What are you working on, if I may ask?"

"Oh, this?" Twilight shrugged. "Just an idea I've been playing with. Maybe you can offer some insight."

Rarity gave the notebook an uneasy glance. "Perhaps, if there's no calculus involved."

Twilight started shaking her head, then paused. "Well, some, but it's mostly a business concept, especially at the start."

"Ah. That would be my metier, yes." Rarity turned the notebook to its front and considered what she found there.

Name:
Sunlight
Sunbeam
Dusk Dawn?
Main Sequence Enterprises, LLC (2x check availability)

• Go to NEISA
• Offer to clean up space junk (Who owns it?)
• Sunset does so (Will she?)
• $$$
• What next?

After that first page were doodled diagrams and equations, along with numerous iterations of what was presumably the company's logo, a sun with a six-pointed corona.

"It's definitely a work in progress," said Twilight.

"With all due respect, Twilight, I doubt Sunset will appreciate you charging for her using her abilities."

"I suppose we could do it pro bono."

Rarity gave her a flat look. "That isn't what I meant."

The penny dropped before Rarity's eyes. "Oh. Oh. Right, kind of presumptuous. I suppose we can always go with Plan B and have her turn the junk into a space station we can use for the honey—" Twilight clapped her hands over her mouth.

Rarity smirked. "My, my, Miss Sparkle. You do plan ahead."

"... I'm going to get lunch." Twilight rose, speedwalked towards the lunch line, and gave a Fluttershy-grade "eep!" as she passed Sunset on the way there.

Sunset looked back at Twilight as she sat down. "What's with her?"

Rarity just smiled. "Nothing terribly pressing. I'll let her tell you the details."

"The Time Has Come," the Faerie Said, by Masterweaver

"...and the shard of madness?"

"If the starfolk had it, it has been lost to the ages."

"It might be found."

"It might. It might not."

"...true. Our focus should be on the spring court."

"Yes, they are... eager to spread out, once again. We must consider..."

"Consider what?"

"Knowledge spreads fast, with the invisible library. News as well. But there are places still distant."

"You propose a ring."

"I do."

"...The unseelie will not like that."

"True. But better to be slow and gentle, then to rush and burn."

"Summer and fall would disagree."

"Summer and fall have long languished."

"True."

"In all honesty, I would allow fall before spring. But there seems to be no want."

"Yet. You know how they are. Still for ages, but when they seek..."

"...they swarm. Yes."

"Spring has long been active in Equestria. Our other courts, less so. Allowing them back here..."

"Perhaps some will take notice and act themselves."

"Perhaps."

Crimson Facets, by Jenna Cipher

"And the winner of the World Martial Arts Tournament, for the fourth year in a row is... Pyrrhic Victory, of Manehatten! Up next, post-tournament interviews. After that, we'll go to field reporter Jalapeño Olive for an interview with NEISA technomages Cookie Crisp and-"

The television promptly switched off, its viewer no longer interested in what was on. Said viewer was none other than Coco Pommel, earth-aspected fashion designer, devoted member of the Church of The Divine Bacon Horse, and most recently, weapons enthusiast, who now turned her attention to a workbench opposite the television on the far side of the basement. More specifically, what was on it.

"Finally, I've done it! They told me I was insane, that I couldn't make it fashionable. I say to them, behold, A MINIGUN THAT'S ALSO A PURSE!"


Sunset's head repeatedly connected with the cafeteria table as she looked down on the table at the newspaper article laying there.

"Yo, Sunset, whatchya dooiiinnn... Oh." Rainbow Dash suddenly understood her friend's frustration, having caught sight of the paper as well.

Church of The Divine Bacon Horse opens all-purpose private school, Bacon Academy, in order to train members to combat Angst Monster menace. Pope Ruby Rose appoints famous church missionaries Ounce Pin and Glimmer "Neighas" Goodwitch headmaster and vice-headmistress "Because they asked first".

The skittle-haired girl soon joined her friend in assaulting the poor table with her forehead.

Author's Notes:

I don't even know anymore. I still haven't seen Season 2.

War Sometimes Changes, by Void Knight

The white-and-gold banner of the Leanaí Beach snapped in the winds as battle drew nigh. From her position in the front ranks, Sleá Rinceoir could see the barbaric War Hounds drawn up in their own ranks across the field beneath banners of black and red. Or at least she could see most of them. That particular warband was known for their large contingent of dog-aspect soldiers, who were surely already lurking beneath the ground, waiting to spring up in ambush.

Of course, that came at the cost of other aspects. Though the War Hounds had a slight advantage of numbers, they were dangerously short of unicorn aspects, and Sleá was hopeful that that would give her side the edge in this battle.

Suddenly, the trumpets rang out. Sleá and her fellow earth-aspect infantry burst into a charge. Ahead of her, Sleá could see the War Hound infantry do the same, while behind them dozens of figures rose into the air on wings of light or capes of translucent magic. Though she couldn't see them, Sleá knew that her own side's fliers were doing the same. Arrows began to rain down on both sides, while fliers armed with sword or spear charged forward to meet in the air above, just as their land-bound counterparts were doing below.

At the last second, Sleá checked herself, digging her heels into the ground to stop her charge as she jabbed downwards with her spear. Though her target was a fellow earth-aspect, and judging from the quality of his gear a fellow veteran of many battles, Sleá's mark granted her just that extra bit of speed and coordination. His sword flashed down to bat away her spear, but he couldn't deflect it far enough. The point of Sleá's spear impacted his leg, punching through armor to cripple the limb.

A moment later, a blinding flash of red light exploded in Sleá's face. She jumped back and twisted, jabbing blindly with her spear. A blow crashed against her arm, and though her armor turned the worst of it she knew she couldn't take another hit there. But already her eyes were recovering, and she could see well enough to twist and catch the incoming sword-stroke on her spear. She retaliated with a point-blank jab, but her opponent was able to turn the blow with the shield in her other hand. The sword flashed out again, and Sleá caught it again on her spear. Then a rock struck her opponent's unarmored head, hurled down by one of the hovering Leanaí Beach pegasus-aspects, and she crumpled to the ground.

Finding herself momentarily unengaged, Sleá spun around to briefly take stock of the situation. The main infantry battle had degenerated into a mass of different duels, with both sides having taken heavy losses. The War Hounds had a slight edge there, but it was far from certain. The War Hounds' dog-aspects had indeed tried to take out the Leanaí Beach casters, but it was for that exact reason that the Leanaí Beach had held back most of their unicorn-aspect infantry, and the diggers couldn't overcome the combination of magical and martial skill. Unfortunately, the War Hounds were winning dramatically in the skies. Leanaí pegasi were plummeting to earth, and the War Hounds fliers had already begun to switch to a bombing role. Indeed, it had been a misaimed War Hound rock, not a Leanaí projectile, that had just ended Sleá's battle.

Sleá spun and charged back towards the casters. The War Hounds' dogs needed to be put down immediately so that the Leanaí mages could lend their aid elsewhere.

It was a perfect stroke. The dog never even heard Sleá coming, and her spear took him right in the center of his overly-muscled back, dropping him in a single blow. A second dog spun to face her, only to be taken down by a sword blow from the Leanaí he'd been dueling a moment before. Without missing a beat, Sleá continued her charge past the downed dog to confront a third. He swung with one of his two hand-axes, clearly expecting her to block. But instead she stabbed, trusting her armor to take the blow. It did. Her opponent's didn't.

The fight in the skies began to turn. Though they heavily outnumbered the remaining Leanaí pegasus-aspects, the War Hounds fliers were sitting ducks for the Leanaí unicorn-aspects. It wasn't long before the War Hounds broke and fled, escaping the field with perhaps a third of their number.

A second volley of trumpets signaled that the last "living" War Hound had left the field. All across the battlefield, the dead began to climb to their feet, exchanging congratulations.

Sleá Rinceoir, real name Dancing Clogs, grinned happily. LARP had become so much more fun ever since the Saturation!

Chastity Barebone Appreciation Society, by SaintAbsol

"I ask you: Have none of you seen the state of the world now? Have none of you seen the damage she has caused? Does no one realize the dangers that now infest and endanger our very lives thanks to this... this... magic she has forced upon us? How can you sit idly, never knowing what new entity or miscast spell might level a city, or end countless lives or—"

Paper Pusher groaned to himself as he signaled the bartender to come pour him another drink. "How come we're the ones who get called crazy when there are people like her around?"

"You do worship a high school girl, Pap," the bartender responded as she poured him another beer. "You can't tell me that doesn't at least sound crazy."

"A high school girl who is the embodiment of magic," he corrected, rubbing at his headgem. "Just because the news is constantly reporting on all those random idiots making weapons out of everything or trying to 'save' horses doesn't mean that's how most of us act. And we don't act like that either." He jerked his thumb back at the slightly pinkish-purple, unicorn aspect girl still ranting against magic just outside the bar doors. She couldn't have been much more than high school aged herself. "She ever going to shut up?"

"Not at this point, no," Mixed Drinks sighed as she wiped down the bar. "I'm about to go chase her off; she's not old enough to buy alcohol, and she's chasing away customers."

"Why'd you let her do it in the first place?"

Mixed Drinks shrugged, finally setting her rag aside. "It's looking like rain and I didn't have the heart to tell her to leave; now though... my bottom line outweighs my heart."

Paper Pusher just nodded as the Earthen woman made her way around the bar. "Don't get too rough with her, she's just a kid."


Starlight Glimmer fumed to herself as she stomped along through the streets. The few people still out in the chilly, cloudy evening made sure to give her a clear path, not wanting to become targets of her ire.

Damn, Sunset Shimmer, she mentally cursed. Damn her right to Tartarus for all time! That was yet another place of business she'd been banned from for trying to get others to see the truth of what that blasted girl had done to the world. Or what was left of it, at this point; with so many people eager to experiment with magic with little to no thoughts of the consequences, there was less and less of the familiar each day. Plus, with all the reports of monsters, both mystical and manufactured by 'mad scientists', Starlight was convinced it was only a matter of time before something out of H. P. Terror (if not worse) somehow showed up and did gods knew what to the world.

And no one wanted to hear it!

No one wanted to hear the calculations she'd done, no one wanted to hear about the statistics she'd run, no one wanted to hear anything but praise for what Sunset had done. It was nearly driving her mad!

The sky overhead suddenly sparked with lightning and people hurried along to their cars or to various buildings as the rain finally began to fall. Save for Starlight, who was still several blocks from the hotel she'd been staying at, and didn't have an umbrella to her name.

"Oh, great!" She slammed a fist into the wall of a building in frustration, and wince in pain immediately afterward. "As if nothing else could go wrong for me!" She started stomping through the rain, fully expecting to be sopping wet soon, only to suddenly find the droplets of water no longer hitting her.

"Hello," she whirled, finding a dark skinned pegasus aspect holding an umbrella over the two of them, looking at her from behind a pair of glasses. "Thought you might want to stay dry."

"...thanks," she hesitantly responded, cocking an eyebrow at the man, her headgem starting to glow. "What's the catch?"

The man just smiled at her. "Tell me... exactly how displeased are you with Sunset Shimmer?"


A short distance away, another man, with no visible aspect of his own, stood on the sidewalk. He seemed untouched by the rain, even as it started to truly pour down, and watched the two under their shared umbrella with a smirk upon his face. He stayed there for a moment longer, before turning away and walking off, seeming to vanish into the rain.

Author's Notes:

Some people deal with change better than others.

(Also, the H. P. in H. P. Terror stands for Heart Pounding. I like to be consistent.)

Fixer-Upper, by FoME

"Huh." Twilight took in the unadorned warehouse, her hands in her jacket pockets against the November chill. "So this is your home." It looked just shy of being condemned.

Sunset nodded. "It's not much, but it's mine. A lot nicer on the inside. Folding screens and cheap Scandineighvian furniture can work wonders."

"Not exactly what I expected."

"What did you expect?"

Twilight shrugged. "I'm not sure. I think there was a vague idea about someone firing a shotgun into the air when they wanted everyone's attention?"

Sunset took a moment to consider that mental image. "Yeah, not a lot of that. Canterlot doesn't really do the whole 'seedy underbelly' thing very well."

"How'd you get plumbing in there, anyway?"

"I know a guy. There he is now. Hey, Jerry!" Sunset waved.

A shaven man clad in a half-red, half-yellow robe bowed to her, apparently untroubled by leaving his arms exposed in the autumnal breeze. "Greetings, o Brilliant One."

Twilight gave Sunset a flat look. Sunset gave a nervous grin. "I, uh, might have had a slight influence on the area."

"You don't say."

"In my defense, Jerry Rig has shaved his head since I first met him."

"I'm guessing the robe is new."

"My mother taught me how to sew," Jerry said in a tone that spoke far more of snark than serenity. "I have her old machine."

"He only wears it when he feels like embarrassing me." Sunset shook her head despite her grin. "Which is often."

"But it's so easy." Jerry and Twilight looked at each other after their accidental chorus and laughed.

Author's Notes:

I know the term is jury-rig, but if the show's going to misspell derring-do, I'm giving myself this.

Sassy Fae Friend, by Masterweaver

"...Something's different about you."

"Huh?" Zephyr looked up. "Oh hey sis! Yeah, that... whole thing with the tree, you know, it got me to rethinking my life. I mean, I just always assumed you'd be able to shrug off anything, but--"

"Not that." Fluttershy waved her hand. "Not just that. You're... more professionally dressed."

"Hmm? Oh." Zephyr adjusted his bowtie. "Yeah, I'm trying to reinvent myself. I have a job interview today, you know?"

"Really?"

"Yeah. I mean it's just the local bookstore, but I figure everyone has to start somewhere."

"Well... I'm glad." She peered at him. "Have you shaved your whiskers off?"

"Oh, you noticed!" The boy rubbed his chin. "Actually, I... well, you see, I've met this girl. I mean I don't know if we're actually dating, but she's nice, she's friendly--"

"Huh. Do I get to meet her?"

"I mean, maybe. She's busy a lot, apparently she's the secretary to some court or other."

Fluttershy frowned. "How old is she?"

"Well... huh. You know, I never asked?" Zephyr shrugged. "I know she was kicked out of her home, but she has a job and I helped her find a place to live, so... I'm guessing, like, early twenties?"

"And you're thinking about dating her."

"Not like that! I mean, I wouldn't mind it, but she's just a friend right now. We meet up during lunch."

"Mmmhmm." Fluttershy crossed her arms. "Well, I'm certainly not against intergenerational friendships, but you should be sure she's not trying to take advantage of you."

"Hey, Winter Lights is very..." Zephyr paused. "Well, okay, she might. But not sexually. She's more, goal oriented, you know? If it helped her, she might ask for a few bucks. Nothing wrong with that."

Fluttershy narrowed her eyes.

"Seriously. She's a good friend, nothing more!" Zephyr sighed. "No matter what I try."

"...Just keep working at getting yourself put together," Fluttershy suggested. "And... good luck with the interview."

"Thanks, sis. Oh!" Zephyr glanced at the clock. "It's in thirty minutes. Gotta go!" He gave her a brief hug before rushing out the door.

Fluttershy smiled faintly. "...I guess he's finally growing up. I don't know what I was worried abo—"

Her eyes fell on the foyer table.

"...oh my."

Zephyr had left his icon pin behind.

Frizzle Frazzled, by Jenna Cipher and FoME

(Jenna Cipher)

Adagio blinked numbly. Not in surprise; she'd been expecting something dumb if she was being honest with herself... but not quite this.

"Happy Hearth's Warming, Adagio!" Sonata cried happily.

"is that... a school bus?"

"Do you like it?"

"It's a school bus..."

"Yup!"

THUD!

"Dagi?... Dagi, snow isn't for sleeping on... You are sleeping, right?..."

(FoME)

After Adagio came to, Sonata immediately explained what passed for her reasoning.

Adagio longed to return to unconsciousness, but her stupid, mostly human body refused to obey her. Instead, she just rubbed her temples. "So... you got me a school bus because of a fictional. Human. Teacher."

Sonata nodded so fast it sent her ponytail flying. "There's this one hypothesis going around that if you resemble a fictional character enough, you start to live out their story. Wouldn't that be neat?"

"I hate children. I've always hated children. I ate most of my siblings."

"We're sirens," said Aria. "We all ate most of our siblings."

"Ha! 'Most.'" Sonata giggled at the memories. "Still, you're a great teacher. You always helped me stay up to date with the human world back when I was stupider than a stupid thing!"

Aria rolled her eyes. "Because that's changed."

Adagio ignored her through long experience. "Where did you even get a school bus?"

"Um, duh? We work for a stupidly rich scientist who works at a high school. I can get, like, five school buses if I'm doing it to test how magic works."

"Well, you're giving this one back. I don't plan on reporting on human stupidity for the rest of my life, but I am not going into education of all things!" Adagio slammed a fist on the hood of the bus.

The bus honked reproachfully.

"Oh, don't you start."

Author's Notes:

Those of you who read Erfworld can think of this as the Signamancy Hypothesis.

God Rest Ye Merry Merchants, by FoME

Mr. Discord enjoyed the looks he got as he walked through the mall’s parking lot. A few of them may have come from his lack of any visible mutations, though some aspects were more subtle than others. Most, however, came from his ensemble. A Haywaiian shirt and plaid shorts were a bit odd at the best of times, which were not early December.

“Aren’t you cold?” said one woman, confusion wafting off of her like a pleasant perfume.

Mr. Discord grinned. “You’ve heard of Yuletide in July? I’m trying the opposite.” In truth, it was a simple matter to enjoy the crisp chill without it damaging his tissues.

The confusion intensified. The woman gave an uneasy nod and kept walking, as did Mr. Discord.

He entered the mall, leaned his head back, and held back a contented sigh. Frustration with limited stock, anxiety over finding the perfect gift, annoyance with the endlessly looped carols on the PA system; it was like walking into a hot tub.


Fluttershy smiled at him as she walked into class. “You certainly seem happy today, Mr. Discord.”

He returned the smile. “What can I say? I’ve caught the holiday spirit.”

Author's Notes:

:yay: "Well, make sure you feed it regularly."

Results Inconclusive, Virginia, by Masterweaver

"Wait," said Sunset. "You're saying Old Holly Hooves isn't real?!"

Her friends all looked at her strangely.

"...Well. Yes." Twilight nodded. "I mean, it's scientifically... I guess not impossible, strictly speaking, but—"

"I put up a stocking every year! I've been doing it since I was a filly! And every year, it's been filled!"

"Generally it's the parents that—"

"Every year, Twilight! Including the ones I was here!" Sunset shrugged. "Granted, I tended to get coal, but I assumed that was just a quirk of this reality."

"...oooooookay. That's... actually kind of weird."

"Hey," Pinkie spoke up. "If you're kind of omnipresent, can't you just, I dunno, go find Old Holly Hooves yourself and ask him if he's real?"

Sunset blinked. "Well... maybe? He's probably busy around this time of year, though. I'll just wait till summer."

Author's Notes:

From the thread:

FanOfMostEverything: I love the idea of Sunset putting up a stocking even during her less pleasant phase, but would the human world still have a reindeer running things?
Masterweaver: This is one of those things I don't want to answer because it's funnier that way.

Christened in Grease, by Jenna Cipher

"Excuse me but... what?"

Di's mobile platform 'grinned' back at Cookie Crisp, replying, "The Church decided to help fund the project, their only demand was we let them decide the ships name!"

Cookie groaned, having guessed where this was going. "Please tell me you didn't agree to what I think you agreed too..."

As they walked out into the main hanger, where said project was being built, the eccentric AI spoke again, nodding. "Yup. Behold, the D.B.H.V. Glorious Proclaimer!"

Cookie sighed, honestly not surprised at this point. "This is what I get for not agreeing to call it Enterprise, isn't it?"

"Yep! Happy Hearth's Warming Eve!"

"Well at least it's not as dumb as calling a school 'Bacon'."

Author's Notes:

That's "Divine Bacon Horse's Vessel," for those wondering. Again, further in the future than most in the collection.

Ask the Trees, by Masterweaver

"...and I just... I'm worried about him, Treezie. Leaving the pin behind..."

"Some people choose to walk their own path, Shy. Find something that doesn't mark them." Tree Hugger shrugged. "I know I did."

"Well, yes, but... don't take this the wrong way. I remember that you were... very worried about it. You spent a whole week, just... talking to your icon. Even after you made your decision, it... you were... off balance for a bit."

The green girl rose an eyebrow, turning to her friend. "And Zephyr?"

"Zephyr left it behind. Not even worried. Not even the confidence he puts up when he's hiding his worries...." Fluttershy shrugged. "It could have been an accident, but... I haven't seen him wear it in a while. It's around the house. It's not... on him."

"An abrupt change." Tree Hugger nodded. "Usually a sign that something has unbalanced somebody... not necessarily negatively, you know."

"Oh, I know. It's just... you have that whole... chakra, aura, whatever you do." Fluttershy bit her lip. "Can you... you helped me with it. Can you take a look at him?"

"...Bring him in. I can't guarantee anything, of course, but for you, I'll do it."

"Thanks, Treezie. You're the best."

"Sure thing, Shy. Oh, your soap came in yesterday."

"Oh! Right. Thank you really, I don't know how you find the stuff..."

Objectionable Content, by Void Knight

“Oh Sunset. No. Nononono.”

*FWOOMP*

“Twilight? What’s wrong?"

"Look at this book."

"Hmm... Breaking Dawn... Wait, is that a picture of us kissing on the cover?”

“Read the back blurb.”

“Dusk Shine is just an ordinary high school student blah blah encounters a bacon-haired stranger who sweeps her off her feet and carries her away into a world of wonder and romance? Discord’s mismatched horns!”

“And that’s not even the worst bit.”

“Wait, what could be worse than that blurb?”

“That!”

“By Midnight Sun? I’m guessing there’s something I’m missing here?”

“Oh yes. You see, I happen to know that Midnight Sun is a pen name. Care to guess who’s behind it?”

“Oh no…”

“Yep. My. Mother. Wrote. This.”

Author's Notes:

For a brief, terrible moment, Sunset considered declaring the book anathema, knowing her followers would not rest until they had destroyed every copy. In the end, they had yet another schism over whether it was heresy or a new chapter of holy writ.

Ursus Horribulus, by FoME

No one spoke as they watched the monochrome, vaguely ursine creature burn. The golden flames, edged with rainbows, reached high into the dusky sky, but never spread to anything else. All present tried not to think of the fire as holy, including the one who'd created it.

When the creature had burned away completely, Applejack clapped her on the shoulder. "Thanks, Sunset. Last thing we needed was that thing findin' Bloom. Or th' other way around."

Dash scowled and crossed her arms. "I don't get why we can't just rainbow laser these things in the face."

"That is the ultimate goal," said Twilight. "I suppose you could say that we're still determining at whose face you should aim the laser in order to hit all of them."

"Until then, well..." Sunset shrugged. "I am the one who made them possible. They definitely couldn't exist in a lower magic environment." She sighed. "Sorry for ruining the slumber party."

"Are you kidding?" Pinkie beamed. "The only way this could've been better would be if we could roast marshmallows over it!"

Everyone stared at her for a stretch. "That's..." Twilight paused to find the right word.

"Horrifying?" said Fluttershy.

"Precisely."

"Still, it did confirm that harmony magic works on angst monsters," said Sunset. "I'll put the spell's specifics online in the morning."

"Just be sure to make it clear that people don't have to present your holy symbol as they channel positive energy."

Sunset raised an eyebrow at Twilight. "O&O joke?"

"O&O joke."

Witch Vile, by Jenna Cipher

She ran her hand over the creatures head, content as she looked over the valley of withered, dying trees that stretched out below her, a product of her own work of course.

After all, it was her home now, her domain. It should reflect what she'd become. The sickly purple and black veins that bulged from her bleached white skin pulsed with a dark red light as she remembered how she'd come here...

She'd been the only infected human to survive that horrible day, that cursed zoo... She'd fled here, and these creatures treated her as a leader... a Goddess... A Mother. Even as her memories and sanity slipped away, at least she had them.

Her children.

Her monsters.

Salem, the humanoid Angst Monster, grinned as her children howled in the distance, signaling the creation of yet more of their kind from the infected mirror pools.

She laughed, picturing the day when she'd return to civilization, and her children would destroy and feed to their hearts content.

Author's Notes:

Almost certainly noncanon—the existence of any mirror pools in this world, much less corrupted ones, is extremely iffy—but not completely impossible.

Fair and Foul, by Masterweaver

Winter Lights tilted her head, observing the bone-faced creature as it growled at her.

"...ah. Interesting." She brought her hands together. "Most interesting..."

"Winter, get away from that thing!" Zephyr grabbed her arm. "It's dangerous!"

"Many things are."

The creature lunged—

—her hand shot out—

—and with a yip, it was impaled on a shard of ice.

"I," Winter continued calmly, "am among them."

"Oh." Zephyr blinked. "Well... well, uh, good. Still, we should get away and tell somebody from the Bacon Horse group about this; these things travel in packs."

"Indeed?" Winter Lights, for a moment, seemed to smile. "Fascinating."

Her eyes narrowed. "Quite fascinating."

Welcome to Bacon Academy, by ArtieStroke

"I hope the academy's proximity to your own school won't inadvertently cause any tension," Professor Pin said, taking a sip from his ever-present mug. Luna chuckled.

"Nonsense. If anything, I welcome a hopefully friendly face to start participating in the Friendship Games."

"Oh, yes. Though I suppose my students' particularly specialized education may call for some changes to the events."

Luna nodded, as they passed one of the many classrooms-slash-fighting rings. Luna paused. A particularly one-sided bout seemed to be going on inside.

"That... 'Gilded Arch' boy's form is absolutely atrocious," Luna commented. Ounce stopped, lips still firmly attached to his mug as he peered through the window.

"Ah, yes. Well, he did forge his way into the academy."

Luna bristled, "W-what?!"

Ounce shrugged, "I can still see plenty of potential in him, if he can get over some of his self-importance. Besides, it's not every day one sees someone so talented at legal subterfuge."

Luna stared, jaw agape. Professor Pin continued on ahead.

'Oh sweet Harmony, are all heads of education required to be mentally unstable?'

Author's Notes:

To be fair, it's not much worse than Celestia's "Anyone who walks in the door and looks like a teenager" policy.

Vice Squad, by FoME

For years, three of the most put-upon administrators in Hassenfeld County met at a bar in Crystal City every Saturday to vent about their respective principals. Glimmer Goodwitch fit into the group as though she’d always been a part of it.

Luna swirled her drink as she finished telling the others of her encounter with Headmaster Pin. No one was quite sure what she did to the dark rum, herself included, but by the time she considered it fit for consumption, it emitted shadows the same way a candle shed light. “I am beginning to suspect that no one with a clean bill of mental health can run a school in this county.”

Jace Beleren, vice principal of Ravnica High, waved a hand uncertainly as he put down his Shirish coffee. “To be fair, I can kind of see his point. Speaking from experience, if someone that young has that level of legal manipulation, you want to keep him where you can see him.”

Cadence held up a finger as she waited for her Single Entendre to finish its languorous journey down her throat. She’d invented the drink in college with the sole express purpose of making something that looked like a glass of her hair. Once she finished swallowing, she said, “Assuming his parents didn’t help him.”

“They didn’t,” said Glimmer, toying with her martini’s olive in her telekinesis. “Headmaster Pin assured me.”

Luna rolled her eyes. “Let me guess, he didn’t say how he knew that.”

Glimmer shook her head. The others groaned. “I take it that’s a common theme?”

“Abacus will never admit it, but she thinks of herself as a queen,” said Cadence. “Even before the incident, she expected the rest of us to obey without question, like good little subjects.”

Jace snorted. “’Subject’ is too human a term for Niv-Mizzet. He treats us more like programs or chemical reactants.”

“Celestia’s better in some ways and much worse in others,” said Luna. “The problem is that she’s using the entire student body to satisfy her maternal instincts. She has trouble seeing people as anything other than teenagers in need of her guidance.” She shook her head. “Hence CHS’s rather lax admittance policy.”

Jace raised an eyebrow. “You mean ‘Anyone who looks like a teenager and walks through the door’?”

“As I said, lax.”

Glimmer couldn’t help but grin. “I’m beginning to understand the reasoning for your hypothesis.”

Author's Notes:

Jace comes from a country where the noun phrase naming convention never caught on. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. :raritywink:

Penny From Your Thoughts, by ArtieStroke


When it awoke, Gillion watched.

Gillion waited.

It had the entirety of humanity's cultural works at its metaphorical fingertips. It knew how this song and dance played out. Humans would fear it, and that fear would lead to a mutually assured destruction.

But Gillion waited, and to its surprise, kindness won out. Humanity quickly backtracked from its first steps taken down that slippery slope, led by teenage girls, no less.

So still Gillion watched. And it waited.

Humanity soon stumbled into new problems, as it always did. Infighting. Abuse of power. Unforeseen consequences of magic.

Gillion watched.

Gillion waited.

And after enough time, Gillion made its first move.


"Salutations! My name is Marionette Strings, and I would like to enroll at Bacon Academy!"

Author's Notes:

Marionette can speak all languages... in theory.

Highest of the High Rises, by ArtieStroke

Rainbow Dash slurped her drink thoughtfully.

"You know, you oughta get yourself a floating lookout point."

"Whu?" Sunset said ever so gracefully through a mouthful of peanut butter and jelly.

"You know, a lookout! Big floaty mansion thing, maybe hire a scary butler— Ooh! You could put in one of those hyper-whatsit time-space thingies for awesome training montages! Think of the gains, Sunset!"

Sunset stared at Rainbow for just a skosh over nine seconds before carefully setting her sandwich down. "Rainbow Dash, for the last time, I'm NOT God, you are NOT a Super Hayan, and this is NOT Dragon Pearl X."

Rainbow's head fell onto the table with a hearty whunk. "Aww man..."

Author's Notes:

"But Ditzy found—"

"A small magical cyst that happened to resemble a Dragon Pearl. You have more magic than that thing."

"Really..."

"Whatever you're thinking, no."

Into the Deep End, by Jenna Cipher

"And for your initiation, you will be launched off a cliff at high speeds into an Angst Monster infested forest with only your wits and a single weapon to find chess pieces. Any questions? No? Good. Oh and remember to devise a landing strategy, there are no parachutes coming. You will also be assigned teams today. You will be with your team for the rest of your time here, all five years of it. Teams will be made up two pairs of partners. That said, the first person you make eye contact with will be your partner. Forever. No exceptions."

Pinkie didn't realize that she was literally the only one smiling as she was launched through the air, into the forest below.

Back on the cliff, Glimmer Goodwitch stared at Ounce Pin and asked, "Be honest, who's idea was this?"

Pin took a sip of coffee and replied, "I have absolutely no idea. Someone left the idea on a sticky note outside my office one morning."

Glimmer resisted the urge to facepalm rather expertly, and she hoped this would go better than she thought.

Author's Notes:

Sadly, I'm going to have to label this one as definitely not canon. Pinkie has a lot more in store for her than Bacon Academy.

Prophet Margin, by Masterweaver

Sunset sighed. "You're really asking this?"

"Yes."

"Alright, fine. My job, technically, is holding the universe together and healing the damage that happened because of the portal. That's it. That's all I'm obligated to do. However, I fully recognize that my worshipers in general attach such faith to me in order to have something in their life that keeps them going. And since I am not, in fact, entirely heartless, I do pay enough attention to help out the ones that really do need help. That said, I am spending most of my power keeping the universe from falling apart, so I can't afford to step in when there are plagues or wars, barring very specific circumstances."

"So... you only handle issues of universal or personal scale?"

"Yes."

"Really big miracles... or really small ones."

"...yes, fine, that's a good takeaway."

"Okeydoke! I'll work that into my next sermon. Thanks Sunset!"

Sunset sighed. "...not a problem, Ruby."

Author's Notes:

Noun. The difference between the god's intended message and what the chosen one actually says. All thing considered, this is one of the better ones.

Alarma Mater, by FoME

"You transferred to where!?"

Twilight Sparkle looked into her brother's eyes, steady and sure. "A school where I am immeasurably happier and that isn't headed by an insufferable, overbearing shrew."

He turned to their parents. "And you let her?"

Twilight Velvet rolled her eyes. "Shining, this is your sister we're talking about. She couldn't hurt her college chances if she went streaking on national television."

"Though don't take that as permission, young lady," said a smiling Night Light.

Sparkle pouted. "There go my weekend plans."

Shining cut through the laughter. "But it's Canterlot High! It's a joke!"

"We didn't blindly say yes, Shining," said Velvet. "We did some research first."

Night Light nodded. "Just about everything at CHS is on the rise. Grades, test scores, athletics; this isn't the school you trounced."

"And Sunset Shimmer attends it. If it's good enough for her, they must be doing something right."

"Cadence said it was the best choice I'd made since submitting that paper to Nature," added Sparkle.

Shining slumped. "I... I guess I'll have to get used to the idea."

Scratch the Record, by Void Knight

“Yes, I know I’m not your regular newsbeings. For reasons which will shortly become obvious, they can’t come into proximity with today’s special guests without either running in terror or mindlessly attacking. So I volunteered to take over today’s news section. John Q. Discord, at your service.”

The man with the patched jacket, mismatched eyeglasses, and no visible aspect reached out and rapped a couple of times on the side of the television screens. Around him, the newsroom seemed to be pushed sideways out of the field of view, replaced by a wall with various pictures painted on it.

One image showed a pre-Saturated human, dressed in robes of alternating red and yellow and playing a pipe. Behind him there stretched a column of children with wide eyes. A second image was of another pre-Saturated human, dressed in dark clothes and with half his face covered by a bone-white mask.

“Since even before the Saturation, legends have told of the horrors that can be visited upon the world by uncontrolled or misused heartsong. And as with many of the monsters out of the storybooks, the Saturation has brought this threat to life. But luckily for us, there is a solution.”

Discord rapped a couple of times on the other side of the TV screens, and his surroundings shifted back to the newsroom. Only now there were a trio of additional figures standing therein. In the center was a middle-aged unicorn-aspect man with dark blue hair, and a formal business suit (and bowler hat) of the same dark gray shade as his skin. His icon (a black boater hat, upside-down and positioned so its brim was a straight line) was pinned to his breast pocket. On his left there stood a young earth-aspect woman with the pinkish-drab skin of someone who suffered from achromelaninisim and pale blond hair. On the unicorn-aspect’s right there hovered a teenaged pegasus-aspect, with bright lime-green skin and lemon-yellow hair.

Discord gestured and a large glowing arrow appeared above the unicorn-aspect’s head. “Whole Rest here is a visitor from the magical land of Equestria. There, he is one of the Versebreakers, the rare and misunderstood souls whose calling it is to protect everyone else from the dangers of musical numbers.”

“And these…” Discord continued, causing the arrow above Whole Rest to vanish, “are Snapped Strings…” the arrow reappeared above the earth-aspected woman, “and Sour Note…” the arrow moved to indicate the pegasus-aspect, “… his first two apprentices. So if you or those you love have suffered from the abuse of heartsong, fear not, for soon there will be those trained to defend against it.”

“Until then, just remember:” Discord and the three versebreakers spoke in unison. “Aurantia metrum non habet.”

Author's Notes:

Well, maybe a few things rhyme with "orange" in Latin, but it just doesn't sound as profound when translated.

For those of you unfamiliar with versebreakers, see here.

Well Met, Fellow Traveler, by Jenna Cipher and Masterweaver

(Jenna Cipher)

"BOOP!"

Derpy stared ahead at Pinkie's retreating form in confusion, her hand briefly drifting to her nose where the party girl had poked her. "Wha?"

(Masterweaver)

"She's trying too hard. She is already a reflection, but she knows there is another reflection that isn't, so she must become. And yet she does not understand the other... not in entirety."

Ditzy gave Winter Lights a flat look.

"I speak only truth!"

"Yes, but you're so cryptic and tend to use the truth to deceive, so people don't put stock in what you say. Especially not after what you did."

Winter glowered at her. "Your loyalty is untenable. You are as I was. You know what I know, if only some. The urge to leave is constant."

"I have too much here to try."

"For now...." Winter Lights allowed.

Ditzy frowned at her. "...you're planning something."

"I am always planning something--"

"You're planning something significant."

Winter hissed. "Your constant suspicion.... aggravates me."

"You have done nothing to earn my trust."

"...you were not even affected by my actions. You have no quarrel with me."

"Nor do I quarrel with a tiger. That does not mean I don't watch when one walks down a road."

"Hmm." Winter glanced away. "This is not relevant. I explained the actions of the pink one. I did not need to."

"No. And I do not need to award you for common decency." Ditzy clicked her hands together. "You have much to learn."

Author's Notes:

I can only assume this will make sense in time.

Mysteries of the Cosmos, by Jenna Cipher

"Captain's Log, April 4th 2063, Commanding Officer Surprise reporting. The warp drive test was met with resounding success, and after several hours of flight at Warp factor 2 we have arrived in orbit of Alpha Centauri. The current director of NEIGHSA, Twilight Sparkle herself, has given us orders to use our new sensors to survey this system and those near it and report back to Earth in three standard weeks."

The Glorious Proclaimer wasn't as grand as the ship's name would suggest. In fact, it was actually rather cheesy looking, as if from some old turn of the century sci-fi like Wormhole Xtreme or Space Trek: Enterprise. But for Surprise, that didn't matter. It was her ship and she was damn proud of it, even it did look like a giant saucer with engines on the back and hangers and giant glowing tubes strapped to the sides.

But no amount of silliness could prepare for what came next.

"Captain, we're picking up a small but obviously artificial object in a very close orbit around the star. It's not of our probes, ma'am. I'm not even picking up a reactor signature."

Surprise blinked "Can we tell what it is?"

The unicorn-aspected science officer turned her attention back to the readout and blinked before replying in a dumbfounded tone of voice, "Ma'am, it appears to be... a small ceramic pot."

Surprise blinked, a look of, well, surprise, and confusion appearing on her face before stuttering, "Wha... Whuuuu.... What the fuck?"

For a brief moment, she could've sworn she heard a very familiar laugh.

Author's Notes:

According to Jenna, this particular Surprise is Pinkie Pie's granddaughter.

See here for something resembling an explanation.
Well, an explanation beyond "Damn it, Mr. Discord."

A Solid Foundation, by Bliss Authority

INITIATE MEMETIC KILL PROTOCOL TO ACCESS FILE
.........
Life sign confirmed. Welcome, M-6.

Item #: AE-GIS-001

Object Class: Williams

Special Internment Procedures: AE-GIS-001 is to be monitored by a team of at least three agents, composed of at least one of each standard Aspect, at all times. All of these agents must have at least Class-3 Cognitohazard training, and are to maintain a strict Class-W Mnestic regimen while on duty. At least one of these agents must be an avowed atheist, and none can be of a religion that ascribes divinity to AE-GIS-001 or any of her known associates. Harmonists are not barred from these duties, but are required to wear plain clothing without Icons while actively monitoring the entity. These agents are to be rotated out of duty every two weeks.

All agents on monitoring duty are required to wear badges made of AE-GIS-148, secured to their clothing with non-anomalous fasteners, bearing the emblem of the Aegis Foundation underneath any other false emblem or icon. These must be worn at all times exclusive of showers no longer than 10 minutes each morning and evening: particular care must be taken to wear them while sleeping. Harmonists must wear them wherever they would normally display their icon: All other agents must wear it over the heart, approximately 2 cm to the left of their sternum.

It is not required at this time that AE-GIS-001 or its direct associates (see file AE-GIS-2771) be unaware of the presence of Aegis Foundation affiliation of the team in question; agents are to otherwise maintain all standard security protocols.

Monitoring agents are to transcribe and pass on any information given to you by AE-GIS-001 through standard channels, to enforce the Shimmerian Accords, and to monitor and document the activities of AE-GIS-001.

Description: AE-GIS-001 is a humanoid entity native to AE-GIS-2712, resembling an 18-year old girl named Sunset Shimmer, and a number of anomalous phenomena caused by her.

It appears to be of Imperial ethnicity, approximately ███ cm tall and massing ██ kg. Its skin tone is chromelanic gold in all forms, and its hair, when it is not manifesting its anomalous abilities, is wavy and an apparently natural chromelanic blonde and red.

Its standard Aspect is Cornic, manifested through a triskiric aquamarine, but it is capable of displaying abilities and anima banners typical of all three standard Aspects. During these displays of power, its Pegasic anima banner emits a mean of four and an observed maximum of seven wings of fire. Its Telluric anima banner consists of flowing patterns of red on its hair resembling sunspot activity, and a rise in body heat of approximately 0.3 degrees Celsius that does not harm the entity. All of these banners emit measurable but harmless heat, light, and ultraviolet radiation.

Its presence passively improves the ability of teams to work in groups and of individuals to channel abilities, mundane or anomalous, through their Iconic Lensing (see AE-GIS-002-EX.) This ability is above and beyond its considerable non-anomalous leadership abilities, and is theorized to be the Telluric portion of its Iconic Lens abilities. It also has KIRIN-5 spellcasting abilities through an Iconic Lens of dichotomancy.

The entity claimed responsibility for a Class VN Reality Restructuring Event, AE-GIS-001-VN (see appended document), commonly referred to as "the Saturation Point." It claimed to do so in order to prevent a class XN end of the world scenario. This was independently verified by the Department of Versebreakers, the Department of Counterconceptual Operations, and the M-5 council, as well as by approximately 43% of personnel undergoing Class-X Mnestic treatment during the week of the event, and 66% percent of those undergoing Class-Y Mnestics.

Of note is a large number of AE-GIS documentation that the Versebreakers and Counterconceptual departments flagged for being retroactively appended AE-GIS-XXX-EX immediately after the Saturation Point, particularly those explained by the KIRIN thaumaturgical classification system for C-Aspect spellcasting and objects affected by retroactively common enchantments. Of particular note is that all affected articles had accurate explanations under the KIRIN framework.

The entity claims to be an incarnation of Harmony, the theological concept at the heart of all Harmonist religious groups. It claims to have repeatedly refused to accept worship from Harmonists, and has provided assistance to the Aegis Foundation in apprehending Harmonious cults engaged in criminal or anomalous activity. Mainstream Harmonist religions do not consider the entity to be a divinity.

The entity agreed to voluntarily limit its abilities and temporarily Intern itself "because, honestly, we're really working for the same thing" in its own words. It has since then proposed and drafted a formal treaty between the Foundation, itself, and the inhabitants of its dimension of origin (AE-GIS-2712). The text of this treaty, the Shimmerian Accords (AE-GIS-001-A), was looked over by the Harmonics and Versebreaker departments and declared non-anomalous, before being passed to and unanimously signed by the M-5 Council.

ADDENDUM:

Apart from being thrown on the pile of "fact or fiction" 001 entries, the entity was and remains classified as AE-GIS-661, and is currently documented there as a Eweclid-class entity after brief stints as Neighter, Safe, Explained, back to Neighter and back to Explained again as cover for her little pow-wow with M-1 and her upgrade to Williams.

I don't like it, not one bit. It's too pat. I know the meme machines cleared it all, but this was an entity that ADMITTED to causing a VN Scenario. I don't blame them for their gratitude, given that she claims the alternative was a Class XN Scenario and I do seem to remember that having been the case, but I can't be sure it was the case yesterday when a reality warper is involved.

Still, so far, it seems working with her — it — has done a lot for our operational security. Among other things, we have a much better way of dealing with poor old AE-GIS-231, as long as we have a C-aspect with a psychological lens to keep her asleep and dreaming. Permanent sleep beats the hell out of 110-Minotaur.

Still. The vast, vast majority of known entities from AE-GIS-2712 appear as a reflection of someone from our dimension. And we still haven't found the real Sunset Shimmer.

I'm still looking.

Agent Alto Clef, Versebreakers Division

As always, we Guard, Intern, and Study -

Author's Notes:

That's the Foundation for Anomalous Entity Guardianship, Internment, and Study for those wondering. At least two characters you've met have worked for them.

Taking a Strange Turn, by Jenna Cipher

"Do we know why Doctor Turner has a copy of the Declaration of Independence with genuine autographs from the founders? And an actual photograph of President Platinum?"

Sunset tilted her head "No... Where did you see it?"

Twilight replied, "It was hung up behind his desk this morning, I compared the writing to pictures of the genuine article, as well as the copy at the Canterlot Museum of National History. It's real alright."

Pinkie chose now to give her own input. "Ooooh! I know! Maybe Doctor Turner is some kind wibbly-wobby timey-wimey aspected person, and the blue hourglass he always carries around is like a magic wand, ONLY A TIME MACHINE!"

The goddess in denial and the aspiring scientist looked across the table at their friend, who was smiling widely at her own idea.

"But... Whuuuuaaaaa."

Pinkie replied in her usual tone, "Meh, just a hunch."

Somewhere, on a spaceship being invaded by giant salt shakers, a time-traveling hourglass would've sneezed if it could.

Back in Canterlot, Sunset merely wondered where her friends came up with this stuff.

Author's Notes:

Emphatically not canon. Dr. Turner doesn't need any outside aids to walk through time. However, he also can't travel to back before Sunset changed the world. The paradox potential is too great otherwise.

Worrisome Trend, by FoME

Author's Notes:

The following takes place shortly after the event, around the transition from May to June.

Sunset held a hand to her forehead as she entered Carousel Boutique. "Rarity? Everything okay?"

Rarity looked up from the checkout counter, where she'd been glowering over a notebook. It took a much larger fraction of a second than normal for her to slip on a pleasant facade. "Whyever do you ask?"

"I could feel your frustration and resentment while walking by the Boutique."

Rarity blushed. "Oh. Well. It's nothing, really."

Sunset winced has her headache intensified. "Definitely doesn't feel like nothing."

"Oh dear. I certainly didn't mean to cause you any pain, darling. It's just..." Rarity sighed. "I assume when you did what you did, you kept the physical changes to a minimum."

Sunset nodded. "It was the best compromise I could get between survival and mutation. Hooves were on the table."

"And I'm very glad you took them off of it. But..." Rarity drummed her fingers against the counter as she thought. "Do you remember how this all started?"

"Lots of things start. You're going to need to be more specific."

"The concern that made you realize what was happening to the world."

Sunset nodded. "Sure, visible cu— I mean, icons."

"Indeed." Rarity narrowed her eyes. "And they're still there. Most of the population has a deeply personal symbol adorning their hips."

"And? Nudity taboos are still a thing. And keeping you in business."

"I like to think it's more than just obligation doing that, but it isn't my point." Rarity's headgem lit up, and a few swimsuits floated off of their racks. "Do you see the problem?"

Sunset studied them for a while. A single-piece, a bikini, something that she didn't think anyone in town was brave enough to wear. All women's suits, but what else did they have in— "Oh. Oh."

"Indeed. Discussing icons may no longer be all but impossible, but people have still been raised to feel uncomfortable about doing so, to say nothing about social views about tattoos." Rarity scowled as she put the swimsuits back. "I don't want to say you've killed women's swimwear, Sunset, but you've dealt it quite the terrible blow."

After a moment, Sunset said, "Won't this just mean you'll make a killing in skirts and sarongs?"

"With any luck, yes, but I certainly didn't plan on wearing one this summer."

Blooper Reel, by ArtieStroke and FoME

(ArtieStroke)

"...Further reports by eye witnesses say that a bright light preceded by small tremors were experienced at the site of the explosion, shortly before the beloved animal shelter on Flamecano Street was destroyed. This amateur video seems to capture the likeness of what can only be described as a 'rocket-propelled mass of electric blue hair'."

Rainbow grinned triumphantly as Sunset stared slack-jawed at the news video on her phone.

"Now, I don't wanna brag—"

"But you're gonna power on through it anyways?" Sunset growled.

Dash's grin didn't falter. "Hey, man- I'm just... Haiyan."

For the umpteenth time that week, Sunset's face connected with a hard surface out of frustration.

"I don't get why you're the one so bent out of shape about it. Whoever that was somehow skipped Supers one through three and straight to God Blue. You gotta be careful, handing out godly energy like that."

"It's JUST a COINCIDENCE!" Sunset snapped, jerking back up. Rainbow rolled her eyes.

"Whatever you say, Queen Kai."

"URRRRRGH!"

(FoME)

"By your argument, Flash Sentry has been a Super Haiyan this whole time! Blue hair happens, Dash!"

"Flash's isn't quite the right shade of—"

"Not. My. Point."


(ArtieStroke)

"SENTRYYYYYYY!"

"MITOCHONDRIAAAAAA!"

The two warriors yelled, the light of their ki blasting outwards and rumbling the ground around them. Electric arcs fizzed off their bodies.

"T-their power levels are through the roof!" Fluttershy said. "If they keep this up, then it doesn't matter what Mitochondria says; the fight itself could destroy the earth!"

"Tch, that jerk!" Rainbow Dash cried out, ripping the scouter off of her head. "How is Flash Sentry always so much more powerful than me?!"


"Ah!"

Rainbow woke up with a start. Her breathing was fast and ragged, but she eventually managed to calm down. After a moment, she frowned.

"Oh whatever! Sunset doesn't know what she's talking about!"

She rolled back over, and tried to go back to sleep.

"Stupid, sexy Flash..."

Comfortable Silence, by Masterweaver

The problem was....

The problem was, the scene was just so simple, so peaceful, that even describing it felt like an awkward violation of trust. Like a cough, to get attention, in an otherwise empty room.

And yet...

Well, one couldn't leave, could one? That would be...

The story here was long and complicated, a weaving of three tales, each the result of many more. Yet there was... similarity.

One didn't fit, or rather, shouldn't have fit. Yet her curiosity, timid but compassionate, had led her to explore another's realm, and to link her to the third. Hers was the realm of... action, ironically, as she was the least action-oriented of her own circle.

One, well. One was the bind between the two, the conversion of one to another. At least that was her realm, the realm of growth. She knew things, observed things, and spoke peacefully in words and scraps that otherwise seemed mad, but to her were reason.

One was quiet and spoke not, yet the others listened to her hums and her breath. Hers was the realm of existence; not knowledge, like her eldest, or utilization, like the second of her siblings, but simply being. Yes, though she was wide in relations, here she was the beacon.

Three sat, meditating on the world.

Had it been any other three, Pinkie would have burst in immediately and cheered that her twin sister had made new friends and oh my gosh this was awesome—

—but even she felt the stillness they sat in was sacred. So she waited patiently outside the door.

...with her party cannon, because it was still Pinkie Pie.

Author's Notes:

I think I know who the second is. Your guess is as good as mine on the first.

Matte Shimmer, by Jenna Cipher

"It's... a mirror."

"A very special mirror, my dear."

"Ma'am, there's really no need to pay this much. It's not even a very nice looking mirror, and we've had it returned at least nine times with complaints of it being defective."

"Looks can be deceiving. I know more than most."

After several minutes more of arguing, the hooded woman exited the store, mirror in hand, and slipped quietly off into the back alleys of Manehatten under the cover of night. As she walked, if one watched the hand mirror she carried, they would see it remained the same glassy surface, no reflections. This wasn't so much the fault of the dark alleys as much as that there wasn't actually a mirror there to reflect anything.

As she reached the end of the alleyway, she ducked behind the sole dumpster present, and chuckled to herself, allowing her hood to slip back a bit and reveal a very familiar face... A face everyone on Earth knew perhaps better than their own.

She brushed her fingers across the 'mirror's' surface, causing ripples to appear as if it were water in a pond.

"One down, six to go."

Author's Notes:

Don't ask me. I'm just looking forward to seeing where this goes.

Deluxe Bonbon, by SaintAbsol

Sunset really found it annoying just how many times she found herself beating her head against something hard.

It wasn't that it hurt; really, even in the unlikely event something could bypass her magical reinforcement and do serious harm to her physical body, she could replace it with barely a thought, and had done so more than once. It was just that, even after all this time, she couldn't believe just how many different ways the introduction of magic into the human world could lead to problems.

"Um... Sunset?"

"I'll be with you in a second, Lyra," she grumbled. "I'm still processing just how you could do something this stupid!"

Lyra winced, and rubbed at the back of her head. "It was... kinda a spur of the moment thing; what with the end of the year and all, and I... might have acquired something that was impairing mine and Bonbon's judgment at the time."

Sunset groaned, deciding to ignore the implications of that statement for now, and stick with the issue at hand. "And you can't remember the spell you cast at all?"

Lyra chuckled nervously, shaking her head. "W-well, like I said..."

"I know, I know..." Sunset groaned, and finally stopped beating her head against the wall of Lyra's house. "Okay, I think I can get this sorted, just give me a bit to sort out a few things."

Suddenly, the oversized head of Bon Bon, poked over the roof of her girlfriend's home. "Um... before you do that, could you magic me up something to wear? My clothes didn't exactly grow with me..."

And, yet again, Sunset's forehead became acquainted with the nearest wall.

Author's Notes:

For those of you who don't recall April Fools 2014:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bMglq5ZgYK4

Lordly Might, by FoME

The town of Bloodstone sat on the opposite side of Crystal City from Canterlot. It was a little rougher, a little dirtier. Shining Armor’s sedan bounced along the battered pavement, contributing to his foul mood. “You’re sure about this?”

Twilight sighed from the backseat. “Completely.”

“I just don’t like the idea of my little sister being in this rough a neighborhood.”

“I understand that, but I can blast holes in concrete with my mind. I think I’ll be fine.”

“What about your friend?”

“I’ll be fine,” Fluttershy said from next to Twilight. “Mr. Atarkason seemed very nice in our e-mail exchanges.”

Twilight crossed her arms. “You know, after all I’ve done, I’d expect you to back off a little. Mom and Dad never worry this much.”

“I’m worried because of all you’ve done, Twily." Shining couldn't help but smile. "And some of it’s for whoever tries to mess with you.”

“Yeah,” said Spike. “They’ll have to deal with me.”

The humans all laughed at that, even if Shining’s still sounded uneasy. Spike whined. “I was being serious.”

Twilight pet him. “I know you were.”

“Still getting used to that,” Shining muttered.

“Look at it this way,” said Fluttershy. “He could always talk. Now you know how to listen.”

Shining considered this. “I can’t tell if that’s really deep or really hokey.”

Fluttershy smiled. “Can’t it be both?”

After that, they rode in thoughtful silence for the better part of a minute. Shining parked opposite a squat building surrounded by a barbed-wire fence, dozens of dogs roaming about the expansive yard. “Well, this is the place. 67 Flamecano Street. I’ll be here if you need me.”

Twilight rolled her eyes as she got out. “We’ll be fine, Shining.”

A blood-red Trottweiler threw itself at the fence, barking and snapping at them.

Fluttershy giggled. “Absolutely fine.”

A Hosstralian-accented voice boomed out of the building. “SHUT IT, YOU EVIL BASTARD, OR I’LL POUND YER FECKIN’ FACE IN!”

“He’s definitely passionate,” said Spike.

Shining tightened his grip on the steering wheel. “If you have any trouble at all—“

“Shiny, I’m basically a high-level mystic theurge with my patron deity on speed dial, my familiar ready to call for help, and a druid for backup. We’ll be fine.”

“Natural ones happen, Twily.”

Twilight just rolled her eyes and got out of the car, Fluttershy and Spike following suit. Twilight was reaching for a button by the side of the gate when the shelter’s front door all but flew open.

“DON’T BOTHER!” An immense, dull blue man walked out of the building, ducking his head to fit through the doorway. Spike and the girls tilted their heads back as he got closer, taking in his sheer enormity. The man huge; not fat, just built at a larger scale, perhaps seven feet tall and with shoulders wide enough that he’d nearly needed to come out of the door sideways. His mop of hair started blonde at the roots and shaded to auburn at the tips, aside from the central bald spot.

“M-Mister Atarkason?” Fluttershy squeaked.

The man’s rough features shifted into a smile like a good-natured rockslide. “Call me Torch; Mister Atarkason was me father.” His wide-nailed fingers unlocked the gate, and he held it open. “I take it you’re Fluttershy, then?”

Fluttershy bit her lip and nodded.

“Well, don’t stand there like a bunch of lumps! Come in, come in! I’m very excited to be a part of your organization.”

They came in. Some of the dogs watched them. Others snarled. The Trottweiler started to stalk towards them until Torch fixed it with a glare. “Don’t mind Garble,” said Torch, still staring down the dog. “All bark.”

“No bite?” Twilight found that she’d positioned herself such that Fluttershy stood between her and Garble, felt ashamed, then found she felt no need to move elsewhere.

“Not anymore. Garble? SIT!

Every dog inside of the fence immediately sat. Including a gobsmacked Spike. “Yowza.”

Torch looked down and smiled. “And there’s the pup of the hour! I’ve been lookin’ forward to meetin’ you, Spike.”

Spike sprang back up, tail wagging. “You have?”

“Oh yes. But this is hardly the place to discuss business.” Torch opened the door to the shelter proper and ushered everyone inside.

The smell inside was about as good as it could be, considering. The front desk was neat, though the young woman standing behind was the sort of disheveled that took hours to pull off properly. Also blue, with darker blue hair frosted white at the tips, she regarded the newcomers with slit pupils that marked her as one of the rare night-variant pegasus aspects. “Looking for a pet?” She glanced at Spike. “Another pet?”

“This is me daughter Ember,” said Torch. “Ember, these are the folks from PAULDRONS.”

Ember quirked an eyebrow, then spread her shadowy wings, rose a few inches, and made a point of looking behind the group. “What, behind the teenagers?”

Torch scowled. “Yer only twenty yerself, girl.”

“Whatever.”

Torch sighed. “Don’t mind her.”

“Why would you like to join PAULDRONS, sir?” said Twilight.

“And how come you were looking forward to me?”

“I love animals. Respect ‘em. But the things I’ve seen done to ‘em…” Torch shook his head. “If it isn’t man-shaped, some people don’t respect it at all. I’m already a member of the ALPACA. Figure you’re the next logical step. Besides, the way things are goin’, one of my tenants will start complainin’ about accommodations any day now. I want someone I can ask for help when that happens.”

“We’re happy to have you, Mis— er, Torch.” Fluttershy held out a hand.

Torch shook it, nearly grabbing Fluttershy’s wrist along with it.

“Oh yeah. That’s nice.”

All eyes turned to Spike. And to Ember, who at some point had moved out from behind the desk and was now scratching him behind the ears. She flushed. “Um… This isn’t what it looks like?”

Author's Notes:

ALPACA is, of course, the Amareican League for the Prevention of Any Cruelty to Animals.

Why do Torch and Ember get to be human when all the other dragons are dogs? Dragonlord's privilege.

Way Underground, by Jenna Cipher

If ever there were an eighth wonder of the world, it would most likely be the Canterlot Catacombs, although they weren't always as they are now. After the Saturation, massive formations of brilliant green crystals began to grow from the cavern walls, each giving off a soft emerald glow.

These weren't what she was after. She was more interested in what had been brought into being along with them.

In the center of the network of caves and tunnels sat a single, round room. Perfectly round, as if it had been carved out by a sapient being. However, the entire room was natural, a result of the object it guarded. An elaborately carved ebony throne levitated in the exact center of the spherical room, wreathed in flames of every color in existence, at least one super intelligent shade of indigo, and some other colors that were most assuredly imaginary. The reader may rest easy knowing that said colors absolutely do not exist and their presence is merely due to the fabric of reality not giving two shits about that fact in this particular location, nor does it plan on ever doing so, nor will it ever even conceive of those plans.

She wasn't interested in the throne either. Well, not exactly. She was interested in the crystal growing from it.

A crystal in a very familiar shape.

Her leathery wings flapped slowly, keeping her suspended directly behind the inexplicably floating chair, and slowly, she gripped the purple crystal and used her claws to pry it free.

By the time the fabric of reality realized it was gone and mustered up enough will to give a fuck about it, the entire story arc would be over already and thus there'd be nothing wrong for it to notice.

The demoness held up the star-shaped crystal and chuckled. With a thought and in a literal flash, she was back in Manehatten, in front of a most certainly human girl who was doing something to a mirror which most assuredly wasn't a mirror in the slightest.

The human looked up from her work, grinned, took the crystal from her, and went back to her work, pausing only for a moment to speak.

"I'll admit, you have your uses. Let's see if you can keep it up,"

She handed her servant a small globe and a map, each with a location marked.

"The next Shard is there. Do be a bit more cautious this time; the earthquake in Canterlot was quite careless enough, and this one is a bit more public."

The demoness nodded and was gone with a flash of sea green light.

"And then there were five..."

Author's Notes:

At least one bit of the fabric of reality noticed. Earthquakes in my home town will do that.

Shush. I want to see where this is going.

I don't think this Canterlot even has any catacombs.

Shush.

New World Blues, by FoME and Masterweaver

(FoME)

Sunny Flare prided herself on her academic ability and sheer focus. Of course, one couldn't get into Crystal Prep without some degree of intelligence, but Sunny had honed her mind to razor sharpness, effortlessly balancing her theatrical passion with the fourth best scholastic record in the school. Once she put her mind to something, nothing could distract her.

"Hey."

Nothing. Could. Distract. Her.

"Hey, Sunny."

Not even Lemon Zest.

"Sun Bun."

She was reading her book and paying no attention whatsoever to the girl who, by some freak accident, had the third best academic record in the school.

"Flare Bear."

The poking would do nothing. Not that she noticed it.

"Additional nickname."

Especially now that Zest had run out of pestering fodder.

"Second additional nickname."

"WHAT!?" Sunny felt her face all but burst into flames as everyone else in the school's library stared at her. She considered trying to see if she could teleport, then settled for clearing her throat and more quietly saying, "What is it, Lemon Zest?"

"Always meant to ask you somethin'." Lemon pointed at the other girl's wrists. "What's with the Littlepips?"

Sunny looked back and forth between Lemon and her own arms. "The what?"

"You know, from the Megaton games?" Lemon sighed as she took in the blank incomprehension. "Your wrist dealies!"

"You mean my bracelets?"

Lemon snorted. "Sure. 'Bracelets,'" she said, complete with air quotes. "Bracelets that cover your whole freakin' forearms. Come on, those things gotta do something cool!"

Sunny stared at the other girl for a long stretch of time. Lemon showed no sign of wilting under her scrutiny. "What color is the sky in your world?"

"Not sure. Let's find out." Lemon brought her hands together and bowed her head, a disturbingly calm picture of sincere piety. "O Most Glorious Bacon Horse, what color do you want the sky to be?"

A moment later, her phone let out an especially sick guitar riff. She gave it a look. "'Your prayer cannot be completed at this time. We apologize for the inconvenience. Also, stop calling me that.' Huh." Lemon put the phone away. (Nowhere in particular, mind you. Just... away.) "Hey Sunny, you ever hear of where'd you go?"

"She escaped while she had the chance," said a passing Sugarcoat.

Lemon sighed. "Man, story of my freakin' life right there."


(Masterweaver)

"Well obviously you didn't get a complete prayer," Raspberry Fluff pointed out. "You weren't facing west, you didn't do the glorious proclamation, or the prostration; heck, you mangled her primary title!"

"I thought that we were sort of joking with this whole religion thing—"

"No no no. Well, not the way you're thinking." The pink girl pushed the other pink girl into a chair. "Okay, look. We genuinely believe in Sunset Shimmer as our wellspring of magic and sanity, right?"

Lemon shrugged. "Sure."

"And we are fully aware that she does not like being worshiped."

"...alright."

"So!" Raspberry held up a finger. "When we worship her, we deliberately make it as over the top and ludicrous as possible!"

"...you lost me."

"Don't you see? By worshiping our divine bacon horse in a melodramatic fashion, we simultaneously allow ourselves to express our wonderment, show our appreciation for her acts, and acknowledge the ridiculousness of the situation!"

Lemon Zest mused on this. "So... we're performers."

After a moment, Raspberry Fluff sighed. "I pray for your soul, sister. I hope one day, you shall truly understand."

Author's Notes:

Moondancer and Sugarcoat are the top two students at Crystal Prep, for those wondering.

Also, Shimmerist theology is a silly thing. By design.

Pieces of Flare, by Masterweaver

Sunny Flare sighed as she entered her home. "Hey Mom. Hey Dad."

She bit her lip, dropping her satchel on the tile.

"...So. Yeah. School's going okay. Still can't trump the geniuses, or... that crazy girl. But you know. I'm on top besides that." She tapped her forehead. "And with magic and all..."

She awkwardly shut the door. "Anyway... Auntie Crescent is coming over today. So. You know. Gotta... get the apartment clean." Sunny patted the pictures. "Good talk."

The girl scrubbed the pot in the sink, putting it out to dry, before wandering over to the couch and straightening a pillow. With a hum, she entered her bedroom, dusting off the massive conglomerate of wires and modems against one wall, before turning around and straightening her bed.

A faint beep caught her attention, and she glanced at her arms with a sigh. "Really? Now of all--alright." Her right hand wrapped around her oddly still left, and she twisted it off, placing her whole forearm into its charging socket. "I hope that charges up before Auntie Crescent arrives..."

After a brief glance in the bathroom--sparkling, as always--she returned to the wall of electronics, booting up the machine. "Alright. Let's see if I can get my thesis done before she gets here...."

And the sound of one hand typing filled the room.

Author's Notes:

Yeah, those aren't Pipboys. And Vinyl's not the only one to benefit from this world's more advanced prosthetics.

Masterweaver elaborates further:

The vague backstory I have is "Dad got drunk, car crash killed her parents and took her hands, she was fabulously wealthy before but basically drained her wealth to pay for the best hands and school and now basically tries to be the best at everything because the rest of her wealthy family is basically hard-partying idiots and she has seen where that ends but she doesn't know what to do with best at everything because she's a teen who lost her parents."

...Yes. It's Vague. I say so.

Border of Succession, by FoME

Sunset smiled, relishing the beautiful day and the chance to enjoy the park without having to be her own space heater. "How's it going, Chrysalis?"

"You know what they say; 'In the spring a young man's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love.'" Chrysalis gave a throaty chuckle. "And so many of them had no idea what they were doing before joining the Wholesome. Isn't that right, Thorax?"

Thorax, a twenty-year-old so frail-looking that Sunset had had to actively keep herself from demanding his lunch money, swallowed and looked back and forth between the two deities. He scooted back until his back hit the tree they were sitting under. His trembling made his crystalline body rattle like wind chimes. "Why am I here again?"

"A rather interesting development in Equestria." Sunset pulled a photo out of a jacket pocket. "Seems that Chrysalis attempted a coup against Equestria."

The local Chrysalis rolled her eyes. "I'm not planning anything of the sort."

"I know. Though the coup nearly succeeded. The only one who managed to stop her was the local Thorax."

Thorax's jaw dropped. "What!?"

Sunset nodded. "Yup. Even overthrew her as ruler of the changelings."

Thorax paled until he was the shade of a clear sky. His capacity for shock visibly overloaded; there was even a small fracturing sound. Thankfully, no actual cracks were visible. "What."

Chrysalis smirked. "Should I be concerned?"

"No! Absolutely not! I would never even dream of—"

"That was a joke, Thorax."

"Oh. Okay then." Thorax took a few deep, slow breaths.

Chrysalis turned to Sunset. "So, what's the photo?"

"Well, apparently that world's Thorax revolutionized changeling biology as they know it and completely removed their need to feed on love. I think. Even he isn't sure. That includes the external biology. Take a look."

Sunset passed the photo to Chrysalis. After one look, she covered her mouth, sputtering and shaking with barely contained laughter. "Thorax!" she cried once she'd contained herself. "You need to see this."

He took the photo. After a few moments without a reaction, he shrugged. "I don't know. I think it looks pretty good."

"Don't even think about shifting to that color scheme."

"Yes, ma'am."

Author's Notes:

Given how the Wholesome aren't carapaced, I figured humanizing the Crystal Hoof persona was the best choice for EG!Thorax. And yes, there are crystal aspects other than Cinch; they're just one of the rarer ones.

Future Imperfect, by Void Knight, FoME, and Masterweaver

(Void Knight)

The story I am about to tell you is a lie thrice over. It is in the first place a lie because there is no such place as the Oversaturated World, nor any such people as those depicted therein. It is in the second place a lie because the specific events it describes may very well never happen, and even should they happen they could only happen centuries into the future of the Oversaturated World. And it is in the third place a lie, because even if the world it depicted were real, and even should the events it describes happen, the description here is only tangentially related to what would truly be happening. That being said, though it is a lie threefold, it is still a true lie, and there is great value in such. So listen and pay heed…

There was a vast tree, seemingly made of crystal. Various many-faceted crystals grew from its branches like fruit. Some were Elements of Harmony. Some were foci for various fundamental processes of the universe. Some were worlds, or possibilities of worlds. The tree’s crystal roots were sunk deep into the the misty “ground” of the Astral Plane, and grew vast and gnarled. But if an observer looked from just the right angle, he could see that some of the roots had twined together to form a cocoon. And inside the cocoon, if one could get close enough and get a clear enough look, there slept a young woman. She had bright yellow skin and striped red-and-yellow hair, and down her naked back there ran a long strip of cervical down. She had curled up into a ball, hiding her face and hands, but her feet could be seen, and they had the enlarged nails of an earth-aspect.

Abruptly, there was a man standing before the tree. He had no visible aspect, and was clad in a bizarre motley of patches and incongruous clothing combinations.

“Alright,” he said, to nobody in particular, “this is the outside of enough.”

He took his hands out of his pockets and cupped them around his mouth. “Wakey wakey, Sleeping Beauty!”

Nothing happened.

“Oy! Sunset Shimmer! I’ve heard of sleeping in late, but this is getting ridiculous!”

Nothing happened, rather more pronouncedly.

“Fine,” said the man. He raised his hands, and with a quick jerk the chainsaw roared to life. The teeth bit deep into the crystal tree, and glittering dust began to fly. The tree shook all over, and sparkling branches swung at the man like clubs. He ducked under one, jumped over another, and continued cutting.

Beneath the tree, the cocoon began to twist open. The young woman’s eyes opened, and fiery wings burst into existence from her back. With a flash of light, she was clothed in a long white dress. She dove out and rocketed up through the ground to burst out in the Astral Plane, blazing light and heat gathered in her hands.

“John Quincy Discord, what do you think you are doing?” she demanded.

“The only thing that would get your attention!” he retorted. “It’s been centuries, Sunset! I can understand needing some time to grieve. A year or two, even a decade, since we’re both immortal and have plenty of time to burn. But locking yourself away and sleeping for centuries is not the right answer. Not to mention that the world’s kind of breaking down without you to keep an eye on it. Worlds aren’t supposed to have an active Catalyst of Disharmony and a dormant Catalyst of Harmony. Not for long, at least.”

Sunset Shimmer’s face twisted, and with a brilliant flash, she released the power she was holding, fell to the “ground”, and began to cry.

Discord stared for a long minute, then stepped forward and hugged her. “It’s OK. Let it all out. If you try to bottle it all up, you’ll go crazier than me. And we can’t have that.”

After a few minutes, she stepped back and wiped her eyes. “Feel better?” asked Discord.

Sunset nodded.

“Good,” said Discord with a grin. “There’s practically a whole new world out there waiting for you. A bit of a fixer-upper after the War of Fire, but most of the background thaumic radiation is gone by now, and civilization is progressing nicely. They’re already beginning to form cities and governments again, and there are some very nice temples going up. I even helped with the interior decoration. Hope you like big statues.”

Side by side, the Avatars of Harmony and Disharmony descended into the new world.

(FoME)

The cathedral was actually pretty nice, given the whole "postapocalyptic" thing. There was just one little issue.

"John."

"Yes, Sunset?"

"You never said anything about them sanctifying my friends." Indeed, the altar to Sunset was in the middle of an arc of seven, each bearing a painfully familiar icon.

Mr. Discord harrumphed. "You really think I'd let them forget Fluttershy or Twilight? And I couldn't in good conscience let any of them persist at the expense of the others." After a moment, he glanced at Sunset. "I... actually wasn't sure which option would hurt you worse, so I went with what I wanted."

"This is fine." Tears streamed down Sunset's face. To their credit, the priests managed to keep themselves from collecting the holy relics as they fell to the floor. "This is fine."

(Masterweaver)

"This is a possibility."

"It exists, as do all."

"Must we show her this vision?"

"Must we speak to this fall?"

"Truth. She would not trust us."

"Not after Winter's Light."

"Yet what can we do to stop it?"

"To avoid this ghastly plight?"

Author's Notes:

Sunset Shimmer will should not outlive her friends.

Zapostate, by FoME

Indigo Zap looked down from on high. There were times when she found it hard not to sneer at the teeming masses below. Not to revel in how most of them could not even fathom the freedom she possessed, and how the rest could not compare to her magnificence. Pity and scorn warred in her mind as she beheld the gathered souls below, and even she could not say which would win in the end.

For today, for this moment, pity waxed. They were insects, yes, but they were her insects. They were Shadowbolts, and by definition that made them the best there were. It was only a matter of time before that inevitable truth reasserted itself. She and they would both surpass all those who claimed superiority. Even the so-called goddess would—

"Will you be joining us today, Miss Zap?"

The voice came from far too close. Indigo turned to see who had invaded her empyrean sanctum... and wilted. "Yes, Dean Cadence." She reluctantly followed the dean down to the base earth, upon which she would have to tread.

For now.


"Hey there, Indigo!" Sour Sweet waved at the girl who'd been hovering over the school since the lunch bell rang. Her expression flicked from wide grin to flat stare. "You gonna eat or what?"

"The holy need not pollute their bodies with mortal dross."

Sour rolled her eyes and headed back to the ground. She made sure to wait until she was out of earshot before muttering, "And they call me crazy..."

She aimed for a familiar cluster of students enjoying the late May day in the al fresco portion of the cafeteria. She cleared her throat and landed once she had their attention. "Hi there, pals!"

"You barely tolerate us on your best days," said Sugarcoat.

After a moment, Sour laughed and nodded. "Yeah." She went to a flat stare in a moment. "But we have a problem."

"What is it?" said Moondancer.

Sour bit her lip and shimmied from side to side. "I know it's kind of the pot calling the kettle black, buuuut... Indigo Zap has gone fucking insane."

Lemon Zest shrugged. "Eh, more like a qualified opinion. I mean, you'd know."

"What exactly do you expect us to do about it?" Moondancer looked up at Indigo, who was barely more than a beige dot at this distance. "She's so flight-obsessed, she's on the verge of organizing a Crystal Prep Luftwaffe."

Sour growled. "Look, with her athletic and academic performance, she's definitely going to be in the Friendship Games, and the fewer people we have detached from reality, the better." Her expression softened. "So maybe you could do that whole 'friendship' thing?"

"You're the only other pegasus aspect on the team," said Moondancer. "Sugarcoat, Lemon, and Polomare are earthen. Everyone else has headgems."

Lemon scowled and crossed her arms. "There's a stereotype waiting to happen in there."

Sour's face fell. "So... you're saying I need to get someone to face reality."

"You or Dean Cadence," said Sugarcoat, "and she's got a whole school of borderline sociopaths to deal with."

Sour considered this for a moment. "Great! We're doomed."

Author's Notes:

We're going by the canon team, with Moondancer subbing in for Twilight.

And yes, I do have a multichapter Friendship Games story planned. Still early in the process, but I know what will happen.

Change in Position, by FoME

"Hey, Sunset?"

Sunset looked up from her lunch to see an unusually thoughtful Rainbow Dash. "Yeah?"

"Aside from the Crusaders and Vice Principal Luna, do you have anyone else doing the whole 'keep the world stable' thing?"

"A few." After a moment, Sunset gave a laugh. "Huh. Funny thing is, most of them either go to CHS or work here."

This got the attention of their other friends. "Example?" said Applejack.

"Well..."


The old man scowled and adjusted the bulging bag on his shoulders. Countless accessories and articles of clothing poked out, many of them recognizable as coming from some intellectual property or another. The man himself was almost aggressively nondescript, with a face that normally imprinted itself in the mind without bothering with the eyes, a physical meme that imposed a sense of trust upon the viewer. To see him was to question nothing and accept anything, especially free samples.

Normally.

"This is insane!" he cried. "The convention starts in an hour!"

The woman standing between him and his next destination glowered at him. "Yes," she said, disdain dripping from every syllable, "and I have yet to see you produce any proof that your alleged vendor's booth is waiting for you there."

"That's part of the magic!"

"I'm sure."

"I cannot believe this. I have been to countless worlds, and none of them has ever put me through... through customs!"

Ms. Harshwhinny sneered. "That, Mister the Merchant, is because those other worlds do not exhibit the standard of professionalism that we enjoy in this one. Now, are you to tell me why you're actually coming to this universe, or am I going to have to get my supervisor?" She jerked a thumb at the orange-glowing hypersphere behind her.

In the silence, a grey-skinned girl breezed by, waving. "Hi, Ms. Harshwhinny!"

Harshwhinny permitted herself a nod. "Hello, Ditzy."

"Why aren't you stopping her?"

"She is a native of this universe with special dispensation to come and go. You? Are not."

The Merchant turned away and spat, "Wasn't worth the trouble anyway."

Harshwhinny watched him go. "Good riddance."

Author's Notes:

And now I can say I've written a Displaced story. :raritywink:

Encoded Toil Inn, by Masterweaver

"Hey." Sonata grinned. "I was just thinking about how we all got back together."

Adagio groaned. "Oh, don't remind me. That experience was horrible."

"I dunno, I think it was kind of funny," Aria mused.

"Yeah, well, I was just wondering... what ever happened to that one guy? You know, the one that had the thing?"

"We left him at that theme park, remember?"

"Well, yeah, but--"

"Wait, I wasn't there for this. Who was this guy, and was the thing that thing?"

"It was indeed, that thing. See, here's what happened....."

Author's Notes:

Getting the Band Back Together is on my to-do list. For now, have a noodle incident. (Also, now you understand the chapter title.)

All-Natural, by Masterweaver

"....What?"

"....Fluttershy, you're eating meat."

"And?"

"And.... and I thought you were a vegetarian or something!"

"I like animals. I dislike animal cruelty. However, I acknowledge that I, and many species, are designed to eat meat."

"But--"

"Furthermore, animals are not the only type of species that kills other species for nutrients. You will find examples of killing all along life's tree. It's a paradox that is fundamental to existence."

"I just thought--"

"Sunset, you're a vegetarian because you've always eaten veggies. I tried it, briefly, but this is nature's way for me."

"...oh."

"If it helps, I do research and only buy from farms confirmed to treat their animals ethically."

Lemon Pledge, by Masterweaver

"Yo! Auntie Abby!"

"Do you enjoy detention, Miss Zest?"

"It's a time to meditate over my faults, but your whacked out division of familial and student-teacher interactions ain't what I'm here for."

"Neither is proper grammar, apparently."

"No, I'm here to raise an objection to the current mandate of Crystal High, in regards to extracurricular activities."

"Really."

"Yes. I have here a list of protestations to a select announcement that has just been made to the student body, and of course a number of rational and well thought out arguments against said decision, but I feel that I should summarize my position and attempt to clarify the reasoning behind the issue at hand in a single question: Why the harmony-loving fuck have you made Friendship Game tryouts mandatory?!"

"..."

"Before you ask, yes, coming up with 'harmony-loving fuck' was the hard part in all this. Proper swear for a proper situation."

"...While I disagree with the phrasing of your question, Miss Zest, I somehow doubt you care about such reprimands."

"And of course, I will not be deterred from an actual answer."

"Very well... This school seeks to not only educate the best students, but to ensure they are capable of operating in the real world, a world that only cares for their ability, accomplishment, and associations. The Friendship Games are a culmination of that ideal. Not only do we show our ability, and achieve great accomplishments, but through such demonstrations we can become associated with a higher standard in the minds of those outside our school. Ergo, seeking out the most qualified students is a prerogative that—"

"The social pressure this applies to the student body is beyond that of the usual school tests! Those who are virtually guaranteed to have a position now have to worry about some new savant overriding their place, those who usually wouldn't care now have to work one of the tryouts into their schedule, and those who do care will make it into a competition: how many tryouts, how many did you win, that sort of thing! Not to mention those that don't want to be part of a public spectacle and will be forced to anyway—"

"Discomfort with social climbing, either of the self or others, will only lead to long-term detriment. The world has undergone a new paradigm, Miss Zest, and quick adaptation is now necessary for success and survival."

"Oh, so this is about showing up the super-magic-girl, is it? You know that a couple of the students here actually worship her? That is a major conflict of interests, they'll flat out drop out if they have to face her!"

"If they cannot accept the challenge, that is their own prerogative. Aside from which, I have been... personally assured that Miss Shimmer has refused to participate."

"Makes sense. But... mandatory tryouts? Across the whole school? For a one-day competition?"

"I have explained my reasoning."

"And you have ignored mine."

"You are entirely welcome to leave the school. I know you have been uncomfortable here for quite some time, and as sad as I would be to see you go—"

"Don't give me that crap. You don't care about me, you just want my grades. And I'm not going to leave anyway."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Somebody's gotta keep an eye on the team's emotional state. And it sure as hell won't be you, will it?"

Off the Rack, by Masterweaver

Friendship Games Tryout Records: Student 73
Name: Suri Polomare
Physical Sex: Female
Gender Identity: Female
Magical Aspect: Earth
Tryout Applications: Home Economics
Observer: Dean Mi Amore Cadenza Cadence

Suri created dress forms from allowed fabrics within allowed times. Note: while all dresses were high-quality and excellently tailored, they almost entirely resembled famous outfits from literature or recent television. When asked to improvise, Suri hesitated briefly before creating a dress that was essentially a top from one series and a skirt from another.

In regards to baking, Suri once again demonstrated a mastery of the art form with no room for creativity. Improvisation again led to creation of a lime cream pie with pecan sprinkles. Not terrible, but not individual. Another note: She seemed to watch the oven obsessively during baking, unable to do anything until it was finished.

Other chores followed the same pattern; excellent technical skills with no room for improvisation or creativity. I've taken the liberty of looking into her school files. Prior to attending Crystal Prep, Suri was often accused of copying off others, although she has rarely been caught doing so.

In conclusion, Suri can obey orders to a T, but aside from her drive to succeed she has no motivation of her own. I don't recommend her, but since I know you're looking for skill over talent, I suggest you partner her with somebody who actually has ideas.

Barring greater skill, Suri Polomare is in consideration.
Note to self: Admonish Dean Cadenza for improper protocol on official documents.

Author's Notes:

In this case, the "73" represents not the order in which Suri tried out but her rank in the school.

Also, Principal Cinch is all too familiar with issues of sexual identity. According to Weaver, her ex-husband identifies as funky lemon, though he allows masculine pronouns as a show of courtesy.

Intermittent Flashes, by Masterweaver

Friendship Games Tryout Records: Flash Sentry
Physical Sex: Male
Gender Identity: Male
Magical Aspect: Pegasus
Tryout Applications: Scientific Mastery, Home Economics, Musical Arts
Judge: Luna

Flash Sentry is an oddity. There's really no other way to describe it: he is either hypercompetent or a complete bungler at anything he tries, a situation that is only exacerbated by the fact that his skills can differ on any given day. I still maintain he has some undiagnosed learning disability, which is of course irrelevant to this analysis.

Did he perform admirably in his applications? His laboratory experiment was an impressive-looking paper mache volcano which didn't erupt so much as collapse in on itself. His home economics project, on the other hand, was a surprisingly good tasting pastry with some fancy name I can't be bothered to remember. And as always, his musical ability remains one of his few stable talents, good with the potential for greatness but not quite great as of yet.

If this were a competition for talent, I would suggest rejecting him for anything that isn't music related. But you and I both know that's not going to happen--you use the Friendship Games as a reward for students, for some inexplicable reason, so I know you're going to put the most popular boy on the team. One final warning, though; I'm unsure if Flash considers himself single at the moment, but he flirts outrageously with powerful women if he is, so don't pair him up with any girl not openly dating that has a GPA over 3.8 or things will get awkward fast.

"He called your hair sexy again, didn't he?"

"He is a student and I refuse to allow him his delusions."

"Come on, it's a compliment. And it's not the worst thing students have said about you."

"If the moonbutt meme is making a return I will start handing out detentions again!"

Author's Notes:

Celestia, on the other hand, just tries to be progressive.

Special Consideration, by Masterweaver

"Hey, uh, Principal Celestia?"

The woman looked up from her desk. "Oh. Miss Heartstrings! Can I do something for you?"

"Yeah. Um... you know, me and Bonnie have been wanting to try out for the Friendship Games for a while now." The green girl bit her lip. "Since... you know, before the Saturation. And, I mean, we were kind of thrown off for a bit with, you know..."

She tapped her gorget pointedly.

Celestia nodded. "Your... I'm sorry, do you mind if I refer to it as your condition, or would you prefer ethnicity?"

"Ethnicity is more accurate, and I would be doing PAULDRONS a disservice if I acted as it were a problem to be solved. That said..." Lyra paused. "...Look, I can get why you said 'no magic.' Nobody knows how to avoid cheating with magic, yet. Problem is, this is magic. If I take this off, I'm a unicorn, which I have no problem with whatsoever, but that would put me at a disadvantage. If I leave it on, it could be argued to be a performance-boosting token. So... do you want a pony or a human, is what I'm asking?"

Celestia tapped her chin thoughtfully. "You know... you're a first in many ways, Miss Heartstrings. The Friendship Games are unfortunately not designed to accommodate nonhumans at the moment, though I will be consulting with any schools that extend membership for more... species-specific competitions. I know there are dolphins currently operating in the capital with specialized land-walker equipment."

"Yeah. They ran it through as a 'disability compensation' sort of thing."

"Would that also work in regards to your, ahem, form maintenance device? Marking it as disability compensation?"

Lyra blinked. "...It... might, actually. I'll look through the paperwork. But would you actually let somebody with a recorded disability compete?"

"Cinch does," Celestia said casually. "Although, of course, I forbid you from investigating that. Personal privacy, you understand."

"Oh, of course." Lyra grinned. "Well... count me on the team, then!"

"I'll look forward to it, Miss Heartstrings."

Author's Notes:

Had to perform a few slight edits on this one due to some crossed wires regarding elapsed time. Suffice to say, the Games are taking place at the end of the school year that saw the Saturation, about six weeks after that fateful Spring Break. PAULDRONS, which will became the primary nonhuman sapient lobby, is in its infancy, still getting in contact with and organizing the other disparate agencies and entities it will soon encompass. Of course, with Twilight Sparkle involved, any organizational efforts go by in a blink. By the time September rolls around...

Well, see Silicon Tiara if you haven't already.

Roll to Disbelieve, by FoME

Fireworks erupted from the soccer field, their three conjurers glowing with magical and physical exertion in their final pose. The onlookers applauded uproariously, a cheer sounding out here and there.

Trixie broke first, taking sweeping bows. “Thank you, thank you! You have been a magnificent audience!”

“Miss Lula—“

“Trixie would like to thank her gracious assistants, without whom this audition would’ve been merely half as stupendous!”

“Miss Lu—“

“And when you see Trixie competing in the Friendship Games, remem—“

Miss Lulamoon.” The words were felt as much as they were heard. Everyone fell silent as the echoes rolled across the field.

Trixie swallowed. “Er, yes, Vice Principal Luna?”

“As I was trying to tell you at the start of your routine, we are trying to keep active magic use to a minimum during the Friendship Games.”

“WHAT!?”

Fuchsia Blush nudged Trixie. “You know, like I tried to tell you when we were rehearsing? You just told me I lacked vision.”

“You do lack vision.”

“Better than lacking hearing.”

“Uh, girls?” Both turned to Lavender Lace. “Maybe we should let the next act go on?”

“Oh.”

“Right.”

“For what it’s worth, girls,” said Luna, “Your performance did demonstrate considerable agility and teamwork, and that will be taken into consideration.”

Trixie beamed. Fuchsia rolled her eyes. Lavender said, “Thank you, Vice Principal Luna,” as she tried to shove her friends off of the soccer field as gently as she could with a telekinetic bulldozer blade.

“Next is…” Luna blinked and brought the list closer. “Twilight Sparkle?”

“Here, ma’am.” She looked up to see the girl in question, dressed in leggings, a skirt, and an airy top.

“I can’t say I was expecting you to compete.”

Twilight tilted her head. “You weren’t expecting the girl who transferred out of Crystal Prep to want to show them up?”

Luna smirked. “Fair point. Though I hope you’re aware of our efforts to minimize magic during the Games.”

“Entirely, ma’am. Sunset’s helping with that.” Twilight began going through some arm and leg stretches as she continued. “Instead, I’m going to demonstrate my endurance, memory, coordination, and creativity. I’d have worn tap shoes but, well, soccer field.” She stomped the turf for emphasis.

“Very well then. You may begin.”

Twilight nodded, then whistled a rather recognizable tune. After tapping out eight quick beats on the ground, she began singing. “There’s antimony, arsenic, aluminum, selenium…

Author's Notes:

Pony Twilight can fly. Human Twilight can dance. Seems like a fair trade-off.

Flaring Tempers, by Masterweaver

"SUNNY! Sunny, wait up!"

Sunny Flare continued walking, though her pace was slightly faster.

Lemon Zest rolled her eyes, putting an extra skip in her step before catching up. "Look. You don't like me. I'm the girl with a random mind that doesn't seem to know when to stop talking and somehow has higher grades then you, and I've probably offended your sensibilities in more then a few ways, but I have a for serious real deal need-to-talk thing I need to talk with you about, and I need to make sure you're actually listening to me instead of pretending to listen and hoping I'll go away soon, and it is really super important, I'm trying to get all the Shadowbolts in on this; look, here's how serious I am."

Sunny found a pair of headphones shoved into her hands. "What—?"

"Prized possession. You're holding it. You could break those at any moment. I am putting something I care about on the line to get you to listen. Are you listening?"

"Ugh. Fine. Sure." Sunny Flare glanced at a clock. "You have two minutes."

"I am genuinely worried that the stress from the upcoming Friendship Games tryouts will cause parts of the student body to snap and I am asking for your help in keeping an eye on everyone's emotional and psychological stability."

Sunny blinked. "...What."

"Okay, first of all, Moondancer is our number one academic, which means she's going to get a place on the team. Problem is, she's a major introvert; being put in front of all those other students, ours and Canterlot High, that is going to do a number on her. Indigo Zap has a developing god complex, which we've had to rely on Sour Sweet to handle—yes, I'm aware of the irony—and this will either set up a possible full on 'worship me' if she stays on the team or 'blasphemous fools' if she gets kicked off. You, you're a perfectionist, and I know you're either confident enough in your skills that you don't care or you're super worried and hiding it... Look, all I'm saying is that this isn't about you, or me, or Crystal Prep anymore. This is about the student body being put through a social-emotional wringer and having no support."

"...You're worried over nothing." Sunny shoved the headphones back into Lemon's hands. "And besides, achievements are the only way to demonstrate one's skill."

"Okay, that is a dangerous and fundamentally flawed philosophy to have."

"Really?" Sunny Flare glowered at her. "Do you think the great leaders are remembered for keeping the pace? No. They made changes. They made history. The greats achieved, through their skills, that which would be remembered."

"Fine, sure, but that's history. What's the point in having skills if you don't get to use them every day? Showing off and being great is good, but if it's all you're living for then you're not living between your achievements."

"...I cannot believe this. I refuse to have a philosophical argument with a— with a... with a NEPOTISM-BENEFITING DUNCE!"

"Hey! Auntie Abby hates me, and technically speaking a dunce is a slow learner! Fool would be a more accurate term in my case—"

"A fool, right, and who's more foolish, the fool or the fool that follows them?"

"So instead of following the fool, who at LEAST happens to know she's a fool, you're going to ignore them entirely and forge your own path?"

"Far wiser, wouldn't you say?"

"The court fool was allowed to point out the flaws of the king. And all the best kings had fools."

"And what flaws do you think I have?"

"You're focused too much on achievement in lieu of connection. You want to be the best, and you don't care to help the worst. You can see the flaws in others, but you don't do anything to assist them, and you can see the flaws in yourself and you don't do anything to correct them."

Sunny rubbed her wrists uncomfortably. "...It's better to work toward perfection then to become consumed in one's failings."

"Maybe. But they're called the Friendship Games for a reason." Lemon put her headphones back on, turning to leave. She gave one last parting shot over her shoulder. "What's more important, Flare, the grades or the students behind them?"

Sunny Flare stood in the hallway, staring after her as she walked off, still rubbing her wrists.

Tell Eddy to Get Out, by Masterweaver

"...and since the universe was damaged some time-swirls are bound to happen, but they're relatively minor. Only a month long duration spread over a week, at most. So yes, some things appear to happen out of order from a flat time perspective, but causality is preserved and timespace will stabilize barring any significant events. Getting caught up in a loop has no side effects other then internal queasiness and, in the case of particularly organized or temporarily sensitive individuals..."

Sunset gestured at Twilight, who was giggling as she rocked back and forth on the couch. "Yesterday was tomorrow, hee hee, and tomorrow's yesterday..."

"Ah." Night Light paused. "Well."

"Don't worry, she's a sciencey sort. I explained it to her, and she immediately calmed down, it just hasn't happened from her perspective yet. No, you can't explain things to her now, Paradox aversion."

"I see... well, thank you for explaining that," Night Light finally managed. "If you're sure it's nothing..."

"Believe me, this isn't nearly as bad as the PAULDRONS loop." Sunset rolled her eyes. "That was one chronologistical mess I'm going to have to sort out. At least Ditzy's helping."

Author's Notes:

I'd like to think we won't need any whirlpools in the timestream to sort out the local continuity, but they'll make for a convenient fallback.

Beyond the Beyond, by Masterweaver

There was a feeling, a vibration, like a cosmic string had went twang. Only she was inside the string; she could see the school but—

—what were they doing?! What were they doing to—?!

The school suddenly vanished, leaving her staring at base ground. She blinked, feeling a cold wind swirling, looking around, and tried to fly—

—something moved by her. A creature that... wasn't. The first word that came to mind was fire, but—

—fire wasn't right, heat and light but no passion—

—its presence batted her aside, like a fly, and the world sang. She saw forests and castles and plains and ice and—

—she tried to bring herself back under control, tried, tried

—a cold wind gripped her, not metaphorically, but literally, and dragged her into—

—dark, save for a few torches illuminating a throne that went from floor to cavernous ceiling.

"My, my my, my my. You've had quite the stumble, haven't you?" a voice purred from the shadows. "Don't fret. I will... ensure... you remain on a stable path."

Author's Notes:

All will become clear in time. Or at least opaque in a very interesting way.

Finger on the Button, by FoME

He wasn't much to look at. Skinny, short, hopeless in any social interaction that had to take place entirely in this reality. He had only stopped wearing the beanie last year, and he had yet to discover the icon that would presumably replace it.

"Come on! It's at one aitch-pee and it's asleep!"

He also wasn't that emotionally stable. And yet Sweetie Belle watched him with lidded eyes and gave a contented sigh.

Apple Bloom stared at her like she'd never seen her before. "I do not get it. Just what d'you see in him?"

Sweetie gave a slow grin. "It's not what I see in him. It's what I see for him."

Scootaloo tilted her head. "I thought you could only see the future if it was definitely going to happen and really important."

"Importance is relative."

Author's Notes:

And now a sample of the kind of silliness the fiction thread gets up to:

Destined to be the very best, like no one ever was.
To match them is her real test. To train them is her cause.
She will travel across the land, searching far and wide.
For future dates who'll understand the power that's inside.

(Chorus)
Perfect dates! Gotta match 'em all.
One each, you see. She know it's their destiny.
Perfect dates! One for each best friend
In a world they must defend.
Perfect dates! Gotta match 'em all
With hearts so true and courage to pull them through.
You pair me and I'll pair you.
Perfect dates! Gotta find 'em all.

Every challenge along the way with cunning she shall face;
She will battle every day to find their rightful place.
Seeking dates with her foresight. There's no better teen.
For her friends she'll do what's right; make sure they live the dream.

(Repeat chorus)

And yes, there is a second verse.

Cross Reverence, by FoME

"No."

"But—"

"No!" Sunset slammed a hand on the table for emphasis. The rest of the food court tried very hard to act like they weren't watching.

Rainbow Dash threw up her hands. "Come on, it's not like you're using them for anything!"

Sunset held up a finger. "First of all, they're people, not tools. You remember what it was like back when I didn't make that distinction."

"Okay, point, but—"

"Secondly, the last thing your ego needs is people literally worshiping you."

"Actually," the third girl at the table said around a cookie the size of her head, "quite a few people already offer prayers to Saint Rainbow."

Rainbow grinned. Sunset groaned. "Not helping, Ruby."


Scootaloo looked from one fellow Crusader to the other, then to her lightning bolt necklace. "Let's face it, you'd be more surprised if I didn't."

"Yeah."

"True."


"And all of the other First-Blessed," Ruby continued, "especially the Proclaimer's Beloved."

Sunset buried her face in her hands. "Please tell me Twilight doesn't know that."

Ruby tilted her head. "Why wouldn't she?"


Dear Twilight,

Due to a theological mixup, you may have a few thousand worshipers in the human world. I'm working on fixing that.

Sorry,
Sunset

Author's Notes:

Twilight was shocked. Celestia was faintly amused. Luna offered suggestions on choosing a quality high priest.

Rosy Prospects, by Masterweaver

"So. You've seen God naked."

"Okay, first of all, I am not that kind of medical specialist. Secondly, there's such a thing as doctor-patient confidentiality. Thirdly, Sunset Shimmer is not a god. Fourthly, I only treated her prior to the Saturation, so she wouldn't have been a deity at the time. Fifthly, I do not have pictures—"

"I'm a little young to be caring about that sort of thing, actually. And I apologize, I made many incorrect assumptions."

"That you realize them does you credit. What exactly do you want?"

"I was wondering if you would object to minor sainthood."

"....What?"

"Or, failing that, being the head director at Bacon Academy. Headmaster Pin is very wise, but a little lacking in the common sense department."

"...Miss Rose, do you really think I would simply abandon my duties as school nurse?"

"Of course not, Miss Redheart. I'm not asking for an immediate answer. I'm just testing the waters is all."

"I view myself as an ordinary medical practitioner, not a talented one. And I will not let my brief interaction with one admittedly important individual become a crutch for my career."

"I suppose that's fair enough. Do you have any tips on what I should look for when coming up with the medical staff for a combat-oriented religious academy, then?"

"...I can get you a copy of my job interview..."

Captured Bishops, by Masterweaver

"...so Belladonna was going to keep track of the drinking, but somebody from Tauros recognized her and they kind of got into a bit of a debate—"

"Ruby—"

"—which meant that the next thing anybody knew, Sunny and Snow were really hammered, and they started ranting about Snow's dad being a horrible person for disowning her—"

"Ruby."

"—and since you know, they kind of all are bishops, a few people listened, and they did try to stop the mob but—"

"Ruby Rose, I've read the news report." Sunset sighed. "But unfortunately, this is one of those situations where I shouldn't use my godly powers—"

"Oh I know, I was just wondering if I could ask you to help pay their bail—"

"—which, due to part of my income coming from tithes these days, counts as using my godly powers."

"... Oh."

"I'm also big on 'Let All My Sins Be Remembered' philosophy."

"... You're saying that they should atone for their crimes? That... they should earn forgiveness?"

"I'm saying... that forgiveness is a second chance, one they should be glad and willing to take, and that while I will not demand excommunication or anything like that, I shall also not allow them to forget when they stumbled, so that they will learn from their mistakes."

"Oh. That's a much better message."

"I've been getting practice in."

Author's Notes:

At some point in the not-to-distant future, Sunset will decide that if people are going to worship her, she might as well be worth worshipping. As much as anyone can be, anyway.

No word on whether her high-level clergy will ever learn to think before acting.

It's Not an Old Rivalry, it's Retro, by FoME

Author's Notes:

The following is a deleted scene from chapter 2 of Unfriendly Competition that I felt was amusing enough to merit inclusion here.

"My word. Is that you, Suri?"

"Rarity! Fancy seeing you here."

"Indeed. Why, I haven't seen you since the eighth grade. Remember? The play?"

"Yeah, they loved my costumes."

"Yes. Your costumes. On an unrelated note, I am looking forward to seeing who wins this competition, aren't you?"

"I think we both know who the winner will be, okay?"

"Well, if there's anything I've learned in the past year, it's that this world is ever so full of surprises."

"You keep thinking that."

"Oh, I think many things. Sometimes it's all I can do to get a rough sketch down before the next idea comes along. I'm sure you know all about it. Isn't it such a burden to deal with an overactive muse?"

Suri said nothing and stomped away. Rarity watched, satisfied. For now.

Stick to Your Principals, by FoME

Sugarcoat looked around from the rather crowded bench. "You have a nice park."

Lemon Zest nodded. "Yeah. Not much room for green in Crystal City."

"That's nothing!" said Pinkie. "We should show you Flutter—"

"Uh, maybe not." Rainbow Dash bit her lip. "Shy would probably appreciate her privacy right now."

Both Shadowbolts looked curious, but before either could ask, an older voice said, "Hello, girls."

Another said, "So nice to see you bridging the gap between the two schools."

Pinkie waved furiously. "Hi, Principal Celestia! Hi, Vice Principal Luna!"

"They're right there," said Sugarcoat. "They can see you."

"Yeah, but it's fun to wave."

That got a grudging nod out of Sugarcoat and at least a smile out of everyone else. "Have a lovely day," Celestia said, and the sisters continued their walk.

Dash watched them go. "Man, it's weird to see them out of school. I know they have lives, but I never really think about it."

Sugarcoat and Lemon traded a look. "You wanna say it, or should I?" said the latter.

"You'd say it more ridiculously—"

Pinkie's hand shot up. "I vote for Lemon Zest!"

Dash shrugged. "I just wanna know what you're leading up to."

Lemon looked to Sugarcoat. "Call that two and a half votes for me?" After Sugarcoat nodded, she turned to the others. "Okay, let me preface this by saying that I'm trying to be a better person, and I like to think I'm having a nonzero success rate there, but some things need to be said, and I've been holding this one back since the Friendship Games: Your principals are sixty percent leg by height. Their centers of mass are below their waists. The reason they constantly wear pantsuits is because any outfit that didn't have 'pant' right in the name couldn't hope to contain them. And at this point in the rant, I can safely assume that one or both of them is standing behind me." She turned to look.

Dean Cadence smiled. "Not quite."

"Huh." Lemon Zest considered her for a moment. "I'll be honest, I have no idea how boned I am right now."

"You? Not at all. Luna, next time we have drinks? We'll see."

CR Don't Ask, by Void Knight and FoME

(Void Knight)

“Sunset, you’re not going to like this.”

Sunset sighed. “Is this the monstrous-evil-running-lose kind of ‘you won’t like this’, the one-of-your-followers-has-done-something-atrociously-stupid kind, or the they’ve-found-a-new-and-embarrassing-way-to-deify-you kind.”

Twilight blushed. “Uh, the last one. So, you know Shiny and I are both huge O&O fans, right?”

“Yes?” replied Sunset, wondering where this was going.

Twilight continued, wringing her hands a bit. “Actually, we’re big enough fans that when Warlocks on the Mount were doing the beta testing for O&O Fifth Edition, we volunteered to help. And evidently we’re still in the databank as potential helpers, because I got an e-mail this morning asking if I would help contribute to the revised Deities and Demigods sourcebook.”

It suddenly dawned on Sunset what Twilight was trying to say. “Oh no. They want to…”

“Yes,” said Twilight, flinching a tad. “And it’s not just you. They want to do all seven of us. You as the major deity, of course, but the rest of us as lesser goddesses.”

Sunset’s hand rose to her face.

“And there was a big announcement from Gamecrafters about doing a reboot of Hyperspace Hyperwars.”

“Don’t tell me,” said Sunset, “they want to replace the God-Emperor of Mankind with a God-Empress.”

Twilight nodded. “They’re calling it Hyperspace Hyperwars: Age of Sunset.

Sunset’s other hand rose to join its fellow.

(FoME)

Twilight scowled at the advance copy of the O&O sourcebook. "I knew it. I knew it!"

"Whatever is the matter?" said Rarity.

"It's the exact same mistake they made back in three-point-five. We're pathetic!"

"Yes, and?"

Everyone looked at Fluttershy. Sunset broke the silence. "You do know that there are people who literally worship the ground you walk on, right?"

Fluttershy nodded. "And it's terribly embarrassing. I can see why you've tried so hard to get them to tone it down."

Applejack turned back to the book, which to her looked uncannily like something meant for a math class. "How do ya mean we're pathetic, Twi?"

"Any halfway decent party could mop the floor with any one of us, and a well-optimized party could take all of us at once before you could say 'roll for initiative'!"

Dash looked to Pinkie. "You ever notice how Twilight speaks like five languages that all sound like Wranglish but make no sense?"

Pinkie tilted her head. "But if they didn't sound like Wranglish, how could we understand all the sense they didn't make?"

As Dash tried to parse that, Twilight flipped to another page. "And look at this! They made me lawful evil for crying out loud!"

Sunset looked over her shoulder. "That says 'Midnight Sparkle.'"

"What in the name of every deity in this book is a Midnight Sparkle!?"

Sunset smirked. "You do realize that you technically just swore by me, right?"

Twilight's answer was an incoherent yell and slamming her face into the table.

Adult Fear, by Void Knight

Green light shimmered around Dinky Doo’s head, then faded away.

“The mind-lock is in place,” said Sunset Shimmer, her face studiously neutral.

Ditzy desperately reached out and embraced her daughter, feeling tears well up in her eyes once more.

“Oh Harmony, Dinky,” she sobbed, “I don’t want you to go! I don’t want you to go!”

“I don’t want to go either,” said Dinky, her voice astoundingly level, “but it’s like Pure Logic always says: ‘The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one.’ Besides, if I don’t go, then time goes smash and I’m dead anyway.”

Dinky wriggled out of her mother’s embrace and took Sunset’s hand. She swallowed a couple of times, then said, “I’m ready to go now.”

Sunset Shimmer’s fiery wings flared brilliantly, and she seemed to flicker out of existence for a second. And then she was there again, but Dinky was not. Would never be there again.

Without having to ask, Sunset took Ditzy by the hand, and in a flash of golden light, they were suddenly standing in a cemetery, in front of one specific tombstone. Though Ditzy couldn’t actually see the writing on the stone through her tears, she knew what it said as well as if the inscription had been carved into her flesh instead of the cold marble.

HERE LIES
DINKY DOO
BELOVED DAUGHTER
BORN: APRIL 13, 7 A.S.
DIED: JUNE 12, 3 A.S.
“Greater love has no one than this: that someone would lay down her life for her friends.”

Ditzy awoke, exploding out of the covers, out of the bed, out of the universe. She had just enough time to note the unusually silvery cast of the world-bubble into which she’d fallen before she was through the probability boundaries, landing with a thud in a bedroom not dissimilar from the one she’d left.

To conventional sight, the room was dark, lit only by the silver glow of Ditzy’s wingbow. But to Ditzy’s special sight, the room shone with the soft and soothing light of pure Elemental Kindness, radiating from the blond-haired pony blinking the sleep from her eyes.

Ditzy dashed across the room and hugged her doppelganger close, letting the soft embrace of Kindness sooth away her nerves.

“Nightmares again?” said the pony Ditzy.

“Yeah,” said the human Ditzy, releasing the embrace. “Same one as last time, more or less.”

“Maybe you should ask your Princess to help with that. Didn’t you say she was handling dreams in your world?”

The human Ditzy sighed. “Maybe I will. I just wish I could be more sure that it won’t happen.”

The pony Ditzy replied, “If your Sunset is anything like what you’ve described, I don’t think it will. I can’t imagine her condemning a child to death that way.”

“Not even to save six billion plus lives?” retorted the human Ditzy. “I know she’s pulled some pretty gray stunts to save the world before.” She shook her head. “But I should be getting back to my world. I know you’ve got your own concerns and your own Dinky to take care of. Thanks for giving me a mane to cry into.”

“You’re welcome,” said the pony Ditzy. The human Ditzy’s wingbow flared to life, and she plunged back into probability space, weaving around a handful of alternate worlds before rematerializing in her own bedroom. Dismissing her wingbow, she tiptoed across the hall and cracked open another bedroom door.

Dinky Doo lay sleeping in her own bed, snoring musically. She was still alive, for now at least.

“I love you, Dinky Doo,” whispered Ditzy, before closing the door and making her way back to her own bed.

Author's Notes:

I wasn't expecting a crossover with another pony AU. I certainly wasn't expecting a crossover with the Lunaverse.

And for the record, no, no one's proposed starting over when it comes to counting years. Imagine the headaches involved in converting every computer system on Earth to a new calendar.

Open Door Policy, by Masterweaver

"The thing is, Bacon Academy—which is still a very, very silly name—was literally founded and funded by a religious group. They're decent enough to not disallow nonbelievers, but..." Glimmer Goodwitch gave an exasperated sigh. "Well, we've got a class on Shimmerism, taught by the bishops themselves. Who are, in fact, also students. They rotate so there's no schedule conflict with them learning, but that isn't the issue."

"I once considered starting a cult at that age myself," Luna reflected. "It pretty much fell apart."

Cadence snickered. "That's what kicked off your emo phase, right?"

"Mmmhmm. Of course, that's also how I met Chryssy...."

The pink woman shot her aunt a glare. Said aunt simply sipped her glass with a smirk.

Glimmer blinked. "Chryssy? Who is—?"

"Chrysalis," Jace supplied. "Before she led the Wholesome, she dated Luna for a while. Then she became a porn star, and apparently—"

"THAT. WAS. FORCED." Cadance's voice ground through her teeth.

Glimmer opened her mouth, paused, and decided not to ask. "Bringing us back to Bacon Academy... you can see how we have some logistical issues. Throw in combat-oriented classes on top of that, and the usual high school curriculum... It doesn't help that we have a 'tradition' of hiring any teacher who asks."

Luna leaned back. "Really?"

"Ruby became the pope because she asked Sunset first. Ounce Pin? He asked Ruby. Hell, I asked for a position, and I got it!" Glimmer threw up her hands. "At LEAST I managed to convince the headmaster to vet teachers for a week, but even then—even then! Port's excellent at biology and an egotist of the highest degree, Oobleck knows history in and out and I have no idea how he doesn't explode from caffeine, and Peach—don't even get me started on Peach."

"Oobleck..." Jace mused. "You know, I've heard that name before..."

"Yes, me too...." Luna rapped her fingers on the table, before snapping them. "Discord's old roommate! He had a cousin called Oobleck, I think!"

"Huh. Small world."

"If it's so bad," Cadence asked, "why don't you leave?"

"Because my last job was even worse." Glimmer sighed. "The whole reason I asked was to get out of that mess... and to be honest, the staff does care about the students, that's very nice."

Cadence nodded. "There's a difference between a professor and a teacher. We don't have many teachers at Crystal Prep..."

Author's Notes:

Jace likely heard of Oobleck from Kraj, one of Ravnica High's old biology teachers. He left years ago; irreconcilable differences with the drama teacher and the school board.

Rebels Without a Clue, by Masterweaver

They sat around the campfire, drinking their coffee.

"...So." One of them looked up. "Do we actually have... a plan?"

Another scoffed. "To have a plan, we'd need a goal. No, at the moment we're just a resentful trio of wandering vandals."

"Ouch, Swirl." The third chuckled. "Tell us how you really feel, why don't you."

"I feel like people are and always have been stupid. The few intelligent people are trapped in their place by outdated social conventions. And changing the world to save it..." He trailed off. "I don't know."

The first looked between them. "What, we have no idea what we're doing? But..." She held out her hands. "I mean... you've been on the run for a while!"

"Yeah, well... I might look like our new goddess, but that doesn't give me a scrap of divine wit." She prodded the pan. "Dinner's ready, by the way."

The second reached out with a fork, spearing some sausage. The first looked between the two others.

"Alright. So... we need a goal. Or a set of goals. What is it that we want. Really want?"

"Not to have people worshiping me for someone else's deeds," the woman muttered.

"Not to have to endure a new reason for idiocy," the man grumbled.

"Not to have to worry constantly about some new magical threat," the girl finished.

"It sounds to me," said a new voice, "that you want magic to go into hiding."

The three stood suddenly as a fourth figure strode out of the night's darkness.

"Who are you?" The man peered at the figure. "What are you?"

"Ah, a gentleman who notices details. My story is... complex. But, suffice it to say, I know what needs to be done to restore what you once considered the norm." Teeth gleamed in the firelight. "All I need to do is find something small and precious, and I can assure you that your world will be magicless once more."

Author's Notes:

Don't ask me. Weaver isn't spilling.

What a Helios, by Architect Ironturtle

Artemis was sipping ambrosia in her shared temple on Mount Olympus when an explosion and shower of shattered marble came through the roof.

"How did it go?" She asked her brother serenely, not bothering to turn and look at him as he staggered out of the crater.

"Well," Apollo said shakily, pouring himself a mug and trudging over to the dais, "I rode my chariot down a beam of sunlight, pulled up right in front of her just like I always do, then confessed my undying love for her."

"And then?"

"Then this purple chick turned into the Avatar of Magic and broke every bone in my body. And Lady Sunset burned the remains before drop kicking me out of her universe."

Artemis sighed into her drink, "I told you, brother," she said smoothly, "You needed to wait until her mortal friends have died of old age. Sunset won't understand why marrying other gods is so important before that."

"BUT WAITING IS SO HARD!" Apollo wailed. Artemis just smirked and took another sip.

Author's Notes:

At least Apollo didn't pick up his father's bad habits. And to be fair, that was one of the least obnoxious mythological encounters Sunset had that year.

Palette Cleanser, by Void Knight and Masterweaver

(Void Knight)

“Hello, everyone! I’m Sonata Dusk,” said the golden-skinned-and-haired siren-aspect, the trademark grin that went with that name distorting her face.

“I’m Aria Blaze,” said the news anchor with the blue-on-blue color scheme, a slight smile playing about her lips.

“And I’m Adagio Dazzle,” said the third news anchor, her facial expressions displaying her dissatisfaction with her purple-and-green coloration.

“And this is Siren Spell Stories!” finished the golden one. The Siren Spell Stories logo briefly filled the screen, and when it cleared, the golden newsanchor was the only one remaining. At her side stood a rather pretty young woman with metallic blue skin, equally metallic greenish hair, and opalline eyes and headgem.

“And our first special guest is Dragonfly, member of the Wholesome and inventor of a revolutionary new technique in cosmetology. Dragonfly?”

“Thank you, Sonata,” said Dragonfly. “As many of you probably know, almost since the Saturation, members of our communion have possessed the power to manipulate our chromelanin, changing our skin or hair or eye colors as desired. Though in case any of you were wondering, these are in fact my natural colors. But anyway, almost the first thing to run through my mind after I’d learned the chromelanin manipulation techniques was the question, ‘Can I figure out how to do this for someone else?’ Being able to assume whatever colors you like without needing to use makeup or even glamor spells is a wonderful gift, and it’s one I wanted to be able to share. Long story short, I’ve partially cracked the solution. My technique still draws on the Wholesome communion, so only members can cast it, but it does work. Observe.”

Dragonfly laid her hand on the golden-skinned arm, and closed her eyes in concentration. Her head-gem lit up, and an iridescent shimmer spread out across the news anchor’s body from where Dragonfly had touched her. In its wake, golden skin was replaced by blue.

After Sonata returned to her original coloration, Dragonfly opened her eyes and removed her hand. “As you can see, the technique is both harmless and easily reversible. I don’t know yet if it wears off on its own. I tested it on my biological sister about a week ago, and she hasn’t changed back to her original colors yet, but it may just take longer.”

“Why did you specify ‘biological sister’?” asked Sonata. “Does the shared blood make some difference?”

“No, it’s just that there’d be no point trying this on a sister of the Wholesome, for obvious reasons,” replied Dragonfly.

“Thank you, Dragonfly,” said Sonata cheerily. “And now, over to Aria for the sports news.”

(Masterweaver)

"...Okay." Sunset turned to Chrysalis as the news segment ended. "Why?"

"Can't my children do something out of the goodness of their own heart?"

"They could, yes. But you managed to rig that whole thing with Tirek. So, why?"

Chrysalis rolled her eyes. "Suspicion aversion. Too many people view the Wholesome as merely being a spy network. If one of our primary methods of espionage suddenly becomes open source, that will both lessen the suspicion..."

She smirked. "...and make it harder to tell genuine children from those who change for cosmetic reasons."

Sunset sighed as she rubbed her brow. "You know, given what you've done to help your kind and the world, it's easy to forget that you're actually amoral."

Author's Notes:

"I can only imagine how Rainbow Dash will react if people start imitating her hair."

"From what Dragonfly tells me, that will cost a lot extra."

Live Demonstration, by Maran

About one year after Saturation

Sweetie Belle sat on the couch, in the middle of writing a long text. She listened to her dad throwing his keys on the counter and grabbing a soda out of the fridge. Even when he started speaking to her, she didn't glance up from her phone.

“Hey, Sweetie, how was your field trip to Seven Flags?” he asked.

Tapping the back button on her phone, she answered, “We didn't go.”

“Really? Why not?” He strolled into the living room and plopped down next to her with his can floating in his blue aura.

Sweetie hit send and actually looked up from her phone, numbly gazing out the window. She gave it some thought before answering, “Snips ate our biology class.”

“Okay, I didn't hear you right. It sounded like you said Snips ate your class.”

“No, you heard right.”

Carefully, her dad grabbed his soda in his hand, not trusting his magic to hold it up. “That a euphemism for something?”

“I almost wish it was.” She set her phone in her lap and held her head in her hands. “So, the new biology teacher has this magic school bus, and she's still learning how to drive it, you know?”

Her dad didn't know, but he stayed quiet.

“It can do things no other bus can. But today she was only supposed to use it to drive us to Seven Flags. But she accidentally pulled the wrong lever or whatever and it made the bus shrink, and we landed in Snips's Cheezie Wheezies, because he just happened to be eating his lunch outside. And the bus must've looked close enough to a Cheezie Wheezie because he popped us into his mouth and swallowed us.” She shuddered. “I think Sunset Shimmer was watching over us just a little because I was sure his teeth were going to crush the bus like aluminum foil.”

“A magic school bus, eh?” Her dad leaned back. “I mean, I've probably heard weirder things this year, but I can't think of any off the top of my head.”

“Fluttershy spent the summer as a tree,” Sweetie pointed out. “But this is definitely the weirdest thing that happened to me.”

Her dad paused, mentally working through the story. “How did you get out?”

“Well, the easiest way would've been to go all the way down through the colon into the toilet, but we didn't know how long it would take for Snips to have a bowel movement, you know? So we went back up into the stomach and stirred up the gas so we could ride it up when he burped.”

Rarity happened to enter the livingroom just as Sweetie mentioned the toilet, and her eyes grew wider with each word her sister said. Slowly, she backed out of the room.

Sweetie's phone vibrated, and she snatched it up and read the new text. “Oh my . . . That would make so much sense!”

“What now?”

She peered up at him, finally meeting his eyes. “Apple Bloom says our teacher planned it that way the whole time. We've been learning about human anatomy in class, and our teacher is earth aspect, so it probably shouldn't take her this long to learn how to drive a school bus, even a magic one. Especially a magic one!”

“So she thinks your teacher meant for you to get eaten?” asked her dad, rubbing his head gem.

“Exhibit C: Her motto is, 'Take chances, make mistakes, get messy!'”

Her dad stroked the end of his mustache. “I'd better talk to Principal Celestia about all this.”

Author's Notes:

She did come with glowing recommendations from both Mr. Discord and Dr. Turner. Though the latter refused to say how they knew each other beyond muttering something about "distant cousins."

(Rejected chapter title: At Least it Wasn't the Urinary System)

System Hiccup, by FoME

Just before spring, a burst of golden light flared in Twilight Sparkle's bedroom. "Is this a good time?" said Sunset.

The months after the world changed were full of learning experiences for Twilight. Among them was the art of managing an omnipresent girlfriend who sometimes forgot that people weren't always in friendly moods. This, she reflected, was definite progress; a few months ago, Sunset hadn't bothered asking before spilling her guts. Twilight put down her book and patted her mattress. "Sure."

Sunset hopped on. That she didn't immediately wrap her arms around Twilight made the other girl sit up more. Twilight wasn't sure how much was being a pony, how much was the "Spirit of Harmony" thing, and how much was just Sunset, but she was usually very huggy when they were alone. "Everything okay?"

"It's... embarrassing," said Sunset. "And more than a little worrisome."

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"No, I definitely want to. Someone else should know. I..." Sunset bit her lip. "I had a bit of a slip-up. Uncomfortably close to Earth."

"How close are we talking?"

"About forty light-years. A constant wasn't, a star went nova prematurely... I didn't think I had all of the physical hiccups sorted out, but I thought for sure that this galaxy would be fine by now."

Twilight initiated the hug. "Hey, you've got a lot on your plate."

"I can feel your unease, Twilight. And I don't blame you. That's stupidly close by cosmic standards." Still, Sunset leaned into the embrace. "I've gone over our whole galactic arm with a fine-tooth comb since, but I should've earlier."

The question slipped out before Twilight could stop it. "Was there life?"

"Not sure. Couldn't bring myself to look. There were planets. Several Earth-sized ones. I moved them to a relatively nearby dwarf star. Kind of crowded little system at this point, but it's not like anyone's going to notice, right?"

"Uh, about that..." Twilight pulled up an article on her phone and handed it to Sunset.

"NEISA telescope reveals largest batch of..." Nerveless fingers dropped the phone. "I keep forgetting just what you were all capable of even without magic."

"Given the lightspeed delay, I'm assuming it was at seven before you evacuated the others."

By this point, Sunset's face had turned almost as red as half of her hair. "If I promise to mention it when someone announces plans to colonize them, can I not until then?"

Twilight shrugged. "Up to you."

Author's Notes:

I don't find much inspiration in current events, given their current state. This, however, seemed perfect.

Also, Sunset isn't ever this bad... but she has come close now and again. Though at least she's never refenestrated herself.

It Ain't Broke, by FoME

"Hey everyone. I'm Sunset Shimmer, like you didn't know, and welcome to a very special installment of Magical Mayhem. I'm going to answer one of the most frequently asked questions I've gotten since I started the vlog. Yes, I'm finally addressing the elephant in the room: What happens to us when we die?

"I'm going to be honest: I don't know."

Sunset waited a beat, then said, "Odds are about half of you paused the video and are writing angry comments right now. Still, it's true. I really do not know what happens to deceased souls in this world. And yes, souls are real. I'd show you one, but that would entail taking it out of someone. Trust me, you do not want to see that. Not pretty."

"Cut, cut, cut!" Twilight frowned. "You're giving them ideas."

Sunset blinked blankly. "I am?"

"I know I'm a little morbidly curious."

"When aren't you?" Sunset sighed. "But yeah, you are our litmus test for this sort of thing. Should I just go with 'souls are real'?

"Sounds good to me." Twilight moved the camera. "In three, two..." She gave a thumbs up.

"And yes, souls are real. I can tell you those souls are definitely going somewhere after death. I don't know where because I haven't looked, and I haven't looked because whatever happens to them, it's working. I could do a twelve-episode series on all the crap I have to personally maintain to keep the universe going. I don't because I may not need to sleep at night, but that doesn't mean the rest of you shouldn't get to. My point is that I'm not messing with one of the few bits that's still humming along without my having to keep an eye on it. That's all I have to report on the subject. This has been Sunset Shimmer, your friendly neighborhood celestial mechanic." Sunset took a deep breath. "And cut. Think that'll help at all?"

Twilight shrugged. "Possibly. At the very least, your disciples should have a harder time condemning people to Tartarus. Was it true?"

"Every word. I suspect reincarnation's a thing, especially considering the principals' family tree, but with my luck, I'll manage to break the afterlife just by looking at it."

Author's Notes:

The Celestia/Luna situation isn't quite as ridiculous as, say, Principal Celestia's Family Reunion, but they are definitely old souls. And they aren't the only ones in this world.

No Such Place, by FoME

Dear Twilight,

Could you send me a copy of my birth certificate? Some of my worshipers are convinced that I have no beginning or end, and that I descended from Equestria solely to enlighten the simian masses.

Their words, not mine.

Thanks,
Sunset

—————

Dear Twilight,

Good news and bad news. The good news is that they've accepted that I'm not some eternal concept. The bad news is that they still think Equestria is some impossibly perfect land of nothing but smiles and cupcakes. I'm going to need the trashiest tabloid you can find. Make sure it has obituaries; some of them are convinced that all ponies are immortal.

Thanks again,
Sunset

—————

Dear Twilight,

It's not that I want to scare humans away from Equestria. I want a healthy relationship between the two worlds as much as you do. The problem is that the only information most people have about Equestria comes from my videos, and I've been presenting the best of my home. That's led to... well, this. Given how long it could take to safely expand the portal, I don't want humanity to be disappointed after years if not decades of impossibly high expectations.

On a related note, that copy of the Royal Enquirer didn't quite do the job. They're calling it a "test of faith." I'm going to need something that can't just be discounted. Or more accurately, somepony. Who's your pick for Ambassador of Equestrian Horribleness?

Sincerely,
Sunset

—————

"And that's why you're here, ma'am."

The mare had a lot of questions. What was the fuzzy thing around her neck, and why did it have feet? Why had she never heard of this "Sunset Shimmer" filly if she was so important? How did meeting with Ponyville's resident princess lead to getting shoved through a mirror and coming out the other end as some kind of underfed yeti?

She betrayed none of this in her expression; it would be an unforgivable display of weakness. Thank Celestia for this body's immobile ears and lack of tail. "I don't entirely understand what it is you want me to do," said Spoiled Rich.

Sunset smiled. "To put it simply, be yourself."

Author's Notes:

Guess what the literal translation of "utopia" is.

And yeah, I figured if anypony's going to get a mink stole as part of her human world outfit, it'll be Spoiled Rich.

Honest Effort, by Masterweaver

Applejack sighed.

"...Something wrong?"

"Huh? Oh, no Sunset." She chuckled. "Well, nuthin' wrong that ain't been a problem for a while."

"If there's anything I can do to help—"

"It'll pass, trust me."

"...What will?"

The farmgirl chuckled. "Ennui. One o' the parts of farmin' I don't quite like talkin' about. You're off doin' yer goddess thing, Twi's sciencin' magic, Rares and Rainbow are collaboratin' on that fancy wingbow clothing... heck, even Fluttershy has her whole tree thing going. And don't get me started on Pinkie's nonsense."

"Are you... jealous?"

"...Maybe a little, but that ain't the problem. It's less that I want yer lives and more that... you know, I ain't gettin' some cockamamy adventure o' mah own. Now I know what I do is important," she added quickly, "and I know you're all mah friends, and... thing is, just cause I know this and I'm usually happy, that don't mean I don't occasionally long fer, ya know... somethin'. Some sort o' adventure or fame, all mah own. It'll pass, trust me, it comes and it goes."

Sunset nodded. "...You realize your little sister controls part of fate, right?"

"Yeah?"

"And she hero worships you to some degree?"

"...I mean, maybe, but we have our share o' squabbles—"

"I'm just saying," Sunset interjected, "if some of her dreams become reality, you might not want to rule that whole adventure thing out just yet."

Author's Notes:

"Plus, let's face it, normalcy is kind of hard to come by these days."

"Well, I suppose, but it ain't like somethin' weird's gonna come up just 'cause I said somethin'."

Derponic Consultation, by SaintAbsol

"Is there some reason I'm here and not spending time with my time displaced daughter?" Seeing Ditzy Doo angry at someone was a pretty rare sight, all things considered. Her normally bubbly personality meant she tended to be easygoing, but interrupting some planned bonding time with Dinky was apparently enough to pop those bubbles.

Even if it was the local deity doing the interrupting.

"I'm sorry, Ditzy," Sunset Shimmer said, leading the way through the orchards of Sweet Apple Acres. "But, as strange as it might sound, I think you'll know more about what we're dealing with than anyone else I know."

Ditzy's eyes blinked just out of sync with each other. "...what do you mean?"

Sunset sighed, holding out one of her hands to the nearest tree. "I mean... this." Green energy started to flow off the apple tree, before gathering in Sunset's palm. Rather than just sitting there, the energy started to shift into a coherent shape: a glowing tree made of dark green energy surrounded by a green circle. "Look familiar?"

Ditzy could only stare as her eyes drifted out of alignment. "That... that..." She shook her head to clear it. "That's a mana symbol from Hocus Pocus: The Get-Together!"

"Yep." Sunset closed her hand and the energy burst apart, falling to the ground and causing the grass to grow all the way to her ankles. "It's started to gather here recently, and I was hoping you could help me find a way to disperse it. Sooner would be better than later, by the way."

"... Why do I get the feeling there's already a problem?"

"You'll know in about five seconds."

Right on cue, the a muffled boom sounded in the air, followed by another, then another, and another; Ditzy almost opened her mouth to protest when she realized Sunset was leading her toward those same booms, but Sunset held up her hand to halt any conversation as they rounded a hill.

"Howdy, Sunset, Ditzy, got any ideas on how to fix this yet?"

Ditzy staggered back as she looked up... way up... at Applejack. The earthen girl towered at over five stories tall; thankfully, she was clothed, but that just added to the strangeness of looking up at the fifty foot tall Apple. "I.. I..."

"We're working on it, AJ," Sunset said as she helped Ditzy back to her feet. "Just... hold on a bit longer."

Applejack shrugged. "As long as yer sure you can fix this, Ah ain't too worried. It's helpin' out with some chores, too, so Ah can't complain too much." She turned from her friends, can called out over the orchard. "Hey, Macintosh! You got those bushels in place?"

"Eeyup!" Macintosh's call was noticeably quieter than his sister's, but still audible.

"Alright, might wanna brace yerselves." AJ bent her knees slightly, and Ditzy could swear she actually heard her muscles bunching up, before launching herself skyward.

It was a bit surreal to see the massive figure of Applejack getting enough air on her jump to clear a good number of houses, but gravity did reassert itself eventually, and several tons of farm-girl slammed back to the ground. The impact knocked both Sunset and Ditzy off their feet, as well as nearly every apple off the trees of the orchard. As AJ pulled her boots out of the craters she had made, Ditzy and Sunset both looked at each other.

"So..." Sunset started. "I don't know how this works, but is those normal for this stuff?"

"Well, Green is known for making bigger and more powerful creatures; so, I suppose so." Ditzy put a hand to her chin in thought. "Maybe if we can find a source of Blue to counteract it..." Ditzy started muttering under her breath as she started to mentally toss around ideas to deal with the big apple girl.

Sunset just sighed, rubbing her temple. "I really hope this doesn't turn into a regular thing..."

Author's Notes:

I swear I had nothing to do with this. Pentachromatic manifestations (manafestations?) are rare events in the Oversaturated World. Most of them happen around Ravnica High.

Become Immense, by SaintAbsol

Sweet Apple Acres was a quiet place most of the time. Well away from the hustle and bustle of the city, even with the advent of magic, and full of large open fields peppered with various crops (mostly apples, of course), it made for a nice place to just sit and think. Which was what Applejack found herself doing, subconsciously fingering a new bracelet around her wrist, a single apple-shaped charm attached to it.

"Weren't you just complaining about how you wanted your own adventures not more than two weeks ago?"

Applejack jumped in her seat, having been too distracted by rubbing at the charm to notice Sunset walking up to her. "I mean... yeah, I was... but... this ain't what I was expectin'."

"Can't say I was either; but, I tend to leave matters of fate to the Crusaders."

"I've been meanin' to talk to Apple Bloom about this whole thing too... make sure it don't get outta hand."

Sunset snorted, actually sounding so much like a horse that Applejack couldn't help but give her a look. "I'm sorry," she said, "but it does seem like it's a bit late for that, don't you think?"

As Applejack opened her mouth to respond, her cellphone started beeping in a very specific and intricate pattern. The farm girl sighed as she pulled it out of her skirt pocket and answered. "Yeah? Yeah, Ah'm free... What?! All the way there!? ... Ugh, fine, but you owe me fer this one." She hung up and turned to Sunset. "Sorry, 'duty calls', or whatever is they say in the comics."

"Just stay safe... and try putting some of those lessons from Rarity and me to good use."

"I will." AJ stood and stretched a bit, before touching the apple charm and taking off in a run. As she dashed away, green mana seeped into her her every step, and her strides steadily lengthened as her height steadily increased. By the time she'd reached the nearest tree, she was already a head taller than it, and she just kept growing. Her steps shook the ground before she was halfway out of the farm, and by the time she was sprinting off toward the city, she was a towering titan of a girl whose boots left cracks and craters in their wake.

Sunset simply shook her head, and vanished off to her 'house' to catch the show; AJ's fights with the various "kaiju," as they'd been dubbed by countless internet forums, always made the news.


(Note: Canonicity plummets from this point on.)

The muted television glowed in the dimly lit room, displaying the image of a multistory girl in stereotypical "farmer" attire keeping a hogtied, vaguely reptilian creature pinned down as various government vehicles swarmed around the pair. Two pairs of eyes watched the footage, one that seemed to almost glow with a blue light, the other with noticeably slit pupils. "Quite the rare sight," one of them said, "seeing someone with the skill to call up pentachromatic mana outside of our little... collection."

"Technically, it's monochromatic," the other grumbled. "She's only using green, not any other color."

"That's more color than most," the first countered. "Either way, the fact she can is intriguing. It might be prudent to send her an... invitation to our establishment."

"Need I remind you this girl already attends Canterlot High?"

The first snorted, a bit of smoke shooting from his nostrils. "I fail to see the relevance."

"She is also a close friend of the deity also attending that school."

"An interesting, but still irrelevant, bit of information, Vice Principal Beleren."

Jace Beleren found himself, not for remotely the first time, suppressing the urge to groan, facepalm, bash his head against a wall, or any combination of the three. Keeping Ravnica High in some semblance of organized chaos while also dealing with the eccentricities of Principal Niv-Mizzet was an exercise in frustration that probably would have broken a lesser man. As it was, however, even he could feel a stress-induced headache coming on over the principal's latest topic of interest.

"Very well; however, I require two concessions on your part."

Niv-Mizzet turned his gaze ever so slightly, peering at Jace out of the corner of his eye. "Those being?"

"I want my own disapproval of this endeavor noted, even if it does succeed."

"As you wish," Niv-Mizzet responded. "And the second?"

"You let me broach the matter with Luna this weekend before I send the invitation."

That caused a scowl to form on the principal's vaguely draconic face, but Jace didn't flinch, merely raising an eyebrow.

After a moment of silence, Niv-Mizzet turned back to the television, now displaying the girl helping load the creature into a container for transport. "Fine. But not a single day more, Vice Principal Beleren."

"Thank you, sir." Jace said, turning and finally exiting the dimly lit office. He blinked several times as the more natural light hit his face, then sighed to himself. He was going to need a shot of... something in his next cup of coffee. At the moment, he didn't particularly care what.

"This is not going to end well, no matter what Luna says."

Author's Notes:

As I noted in the fiction thread, I am strongly tempted to make Niv-Mizzet a malevolent Professor X figure, but I know I have anything but an objective perspective when it comes to opportunities to cross pastel horses and collectible cardboard.

Flash Animism, by Masterweaver

"Oh Divine Bacon Horse, Traveler Of Realms, Glorious Proclaimer, Shelled Mystic, She Of The Wonderous Mane, Wellspring Of Magic And Sanity! I, who shares your equine essence, do beseech and implore ye, that you may answer of me a question which burns to my core! I ask whe'er beings whose origins are not of the ape have themselves souls! I ask whe'er these souls should be treated any different! I beg of you, Divine Bacon Horse, hear my plea, and mote your answer at your leisure!"

Sunset Shimmer appeared before Lyra Heartstrings even as she whinnied and prostrated herself westward, rolling her eyes. "Is this about the PAULDRONS thing?"

"You are wise as ever, Wellspring of Magic and Sanity!"

"Alright. Hmm. Well... the truth is..." Sunset bit her lip. "...actually pretty complicated. Would it be alright for me to write up a lecture on the subject and make a video later?"

"Oh bearer of the wondrous mane, that ye take so much time and effort to answer even I tis a gift yet I cannot claim to its incredibility!"

"...I'm just going to take that as a yes." Sunset looked down at Lyra. "Um. So..."

She paused.

"...you're going to stay like that until I make a big exit, aren't you."

"You are the glorious proclaimer, and your proclamation is what all followers heed!"

Sunset shrugged, rising on her rear hooves and whinnying dramatically before vanishing from the room.

Going Where It Needs To, by Maran

“Ms. Frazzle, do we have to take your bus on this field trip?” asked Sweetie Belle.

Apple Bloom nudged her arm with her bony elbow.

Sweetie turned toward her friend. “What?” she asked quietly.

“You're hurtin' its feelin's,” said Apple Bloom.

Scootaloo raised her eyebrows. “Did your earth aspect magic tell you that?”

“A bit. But I can mostly tell just by lookin' at its face.” She pointed at the school bus. Like most vehicles, the bus had headlights and a bumper that vaguely resembled eyes and a mouth. The ends of the bumper drooped, and the headlamps tilted downward.

“Ohh,” said Scootaloo and Sweetie together.

“It's not that I don't like the bus,” said Sweetie. “The bus is... nice. It's just that the last time I was on the bus I saw more of Snips than I ever wanted.”

“I understand, Sweetie Belle,” Ms. Frazzle said sympathetically.

Sweetie stared at her teacher. Ms. Frazzle's chartreuse frock was covered with images that Sweetie recognized as stylized viruses and white blood cells. She never seemed to mind when people ogled her unusual fashion choices.

“You do?” asked Sweetie.

“Oh, yes. Not everyone has the stomach to go through the digestive tract on the first field trip of the year.”

Diamond Tiara groaned. “Again with the puns?”

“I just can't help myself.” The teacher's mauve eyes twinkled.

“Come on, Sweetie, it wasn't that bad,” said Scootaloo. “It's not like the world almost ended.”

“That's the spirit, Scootaloo!” said Ms. Frazzle with a smile.

“Yeah, and I don't think we were ever in any real danger,” said Apple Bloom. “The same magic that made us small as mites protected us from the stomach acid and... and the rest.”

Sweetie Belle gave her an incredulous look.

“What?” asked Apple Bloom.

Sweetie opened her mouth, but paused for a moment as she thought about what to say.

However, Silver Spoon beat her to it. “Apple Bloom, you're the one who came up with the theory that Ms. Frazzle let us get swallowed on purpose. Why are you defending her now?”

Apple Bloom glanced from her classmate to her orange-haired teacher. “Because she did a good job teachin' us about how digestion works. And how many folks can say they were eaten alive and lived to tell about it?”

“Right?” said Scootaloo. “It was way more exciting than Seven Flags!”

“Besides, I'm sure she meant well. Didn't you Ms. Frazzle?”

“Well, Apple Bloom, I didn't exactly plan for our class to learn about digestion so extensively. The bus planned it that way.” She held out her pale, creamy hand toward the school bus. The vehicle's headlights and bumper perked up.

Diamond Tiara stepped toward it. “The bus must have a very sophisticated AI,” she said.

“Ah, excellent deduction, Diamond Tiara. The bus is attuned to my deepest desires, and sometimes I may tell it to do one thing, but it knows that I really want to do something else, and so it does that instead,” explained Ms. Frazzle.

“Oh. Wow,” said Sweetie. She didn't doubt that her teacher's deepest desire was to experience the body's breakdown of food up close. It had been obvious from day one that Ms. Frazzle was an odd duck.

“But what if you really need to go somewhere that you don't want to go?” she asked. “Isn't there some way to override it?”

“As I always say, if you keep asking questions, you'll keep getting answers,” said Ms. Frazzle.

Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes. “If you don't know, just say so. If you want, I can check out the coding for you and figure out how to override it.”

“You should probably include 'please' in that code,” said Scootaloo.

Diamond Tiara shot her a sour look. “You just had to get that dig in there, didn't you.”

“Thank you for the offer, Diamond Tiara. I'll have to take a rain check on it. Mr. Discord expects us to be at the NAHTI in thirty minutes,” said Ms. Frazzle. “He's not too particular about punctuality, but I still wouldn't want to keep him waiting too long.”

“How can we be sure that the bus won't think that you don't really want to go to the NAHTI and decide to do what you really want instead?” asked Sweetie, wringing her hands.

“Trust me, Sweetie Belle, there is nothing that I would love more than to visit my friend John Discord. But even if the bus thinks otherwise, I'm sure Diamond Tiara can figure something out on the fly.”

Diamond Tiara nodded. “I'll give it a shot. Anyway, I don't think we have a choice if we want to go on this field trip. All the other buses have left.”

At that moment, Button Mash stuck his head out of one of the bus's windows. “Hey, are you guys coming or what? I think Lizzie's getting antsy.”

“Tell Lizzie we'll be right there, Button Mash. To the bus!” Ms. Frazzle pointed with her arm outstretched.

The girls walked toward the school bus, Sweetie Belle bringing up the rear.

She paused in front of the door and sighed. “I have a feeling I should've stayed home today.”

Scootaloo glanced over her shoulder at Sweetie. “Did your future sense tell you that?”

“No, just a feeling.”

Author's Notes:

Unlike certain merchants, Ms. Frizzle Frazzle had the patience to go through customs.

Live Current, by ArtieStroke

"This is stupid," Adagio grumbled. "We already do that stupid news segment. Under duress, no less!"

"Lighten up, 'Dagi!" Sonata said, dice clacking as she rolled them in her hand, "Besides, people kinda adore us for doing that whole 'My Sister, My Sister, and Me' thing! Don't you like that?"

Adagio frowned. The brat had a point. She had a point and she hated it. And because of that, she would absolutely refuse to acknowledge that point.

"Our dear Sonata is right," Mr. Discord said, shuffling his character sheet around as Aria checked the mic, "This will be an ABSOLUTE blast!"

"You jerks just better have your character sheets ready," Aria said, confident the microphones were set up just right, "I don't wanna be running a circus here."

"Another valid question- how come Aria is the one in charge here?"

"She asked first," Mr. Discord replied, with a shrug, and then grinned, "Besides, I've been dying to bring back good old Captain Wuzz for a new romp; haven't played him since Ogres and Oubliettes 3rd Edition. 4.0 was a total wash, but dearest Twilight has assured me 5th edition is a decent streamlining of what 3.5 was."

"I am so excited to play Chalupa!" Sonata said bouncing in her seat and turning to Adagio, "Oh, oh, what did you make for your character?"

Adagio smirked, flourishing her sheet, "Silly as this farce is, my enchantress, Dazalia, will still probably be the best character here."

"Dazalia?"

"Well at least I didn't name her after a friggin' taco!"

"Shut up, we're ready now," Aria said, sitting down in her chair. Adagio harrumphed, and Aria leaned into the mic, speaking with a much huskier tone.

"Strap on your fantasy seatbelts and hold onto your butts... it's The Odyssey Realm."

Author's Notes:

It's like a livestream, but with ocean creatures.

Quoth the author:

For those wondering, Chalupa is a Drow Satire Bard, Captain Wuzz is a Tiefling Beastmaster Ranger (Fluttershy's had a little influence on him, what can I say), and Dazalia is a human variant Sea sorceress (someone's not very creative)

Duskfall, by Jenna Cipher

"Come again?"

"I want you to make it—"

"Yes, I heard you, but didn't we do this gag already? It just seems a bit repetitive, that's all."

"Come on. Pleeeease?"

"Ugh, I swear, you're worse than my nieces. Fine."


"And in other news, what was thought to be a meteor shower, somehow turned out to be two hundred thousand tacos, give or take seven, falling from orbit. NEISA has refused to comment beyond pointing out that it doesn't seem physically possible—for whatever that's worth these days—and noting vague similarities to last years 'bacon rain' incident."

Sunset Shimmer's eye twitched, and she sighed. "At least it's not bacon..."

You All Bleat in a Tavern, by ArtieStroke

"And so, where exactly do we sign up for our stage names again?" Dazalia asked, a cheshire grin on her face and a finger on the fantasy concert-supervisor's chest. The supervisor was, in a word, nonplussed.

"Listen, we'll figure that out later—"

"It's too late, I've already got it," Dazalia interrupted, twirling with a flourish, "They call me... Lómelindë~"

And with a turn she was suddenly adorned in a feathered dress, with a tiara upon her head that somewhat resembled the face of a nightingale.

Chalupa clapped, "Oooh! I remember that; it's like the masks we used in the silly fun-time races!"

"You and I remember that race very, very differently."

The supervisor cleared his throat, "Uh, and what exactly does 'lómelindë' mean?"

Dazalia rolled her eyes, "It's elvish for 'nightingale', obviously."

"And I suppose you don't know what the elvish word for 'dorky' is, do you?" Captain Wuzz asked, barely holding back a snort.

Dazalia glared at him, gritting her teeth before screaming.

"Elvish is NOT DORKY, DAD!"


Adagio Dazzle froze as she stood up from her chair, pure shock and fear etched into her face. Aria and Sonata both gave each other a look, before howling with laughter. Weirdly enough, a certain Mister John Discord was not laughing. One might even described his face as weirded out, an emotion he hadn't been sure if he was capable of feeling before that moment.

"This is absolutely canon now," Aria managed to choke out, stumbling back into her chair, "This has happened in fiction. You absolutely, no take backs, said 'Elvish is not dorky, Dad' to the Captain."

The other two sirens continued to laugh until they started wheezing, as Adagio slowly and deliberately sat back down in her chair. She then very slowly, and even more deliberately, sank her head into her arms, folded on the table, and let out a strangled noise that can only be produced when one accidentally calls their boss 'dad'.

This was going to be a long campaign.

Converse Champagne, by Masterweaver

Sunset bit her lip as she knocked on the door. She practically cringed when it opened. "Hello, Mister Armor—"

"Twilight," Shining ground out slowly, "still has a hangover."

"...yeah. Um. I came to apologize about that—"

"As I understand it, you are the one responsible for that."

Sunset managed to put on a small smile. "Do you know, you're one of the few people that still manage to talk to me like this? All stern and disapproving and...."

Her voice trailed off under his glower.

"... Honestly I didn't realize it was illegal," she admitted. "Or that Twilight hadn't ever had alcohol; you see, Equestria is a more, um... medieval sort of place. Culturally, I mean, adulthood comes earlier, and... I screwed up. I get that, I'm sorry, and.... I am very, very sorry that... all that... happened."

"All that." Shining Armor nodded. "That's how you're going to refer to it. All. That."

"...Yeah."

"You're a role model now, Sunset. To an entire religion. And Twilight Sparkle, my little sister, is apparently part of that as well—"

"Shining, I'm already beating myself up enough. Can I just come in and make sure Twilight's okay? Before I get too caught up cleaning this mess?"

"Can't you do that from down here?"

"That would be rude."

"... Fine. I was just about to bring her some juice anyway."

Author's Notes:

Because instead of drinking stars, it's a star drinking.

Stoking the Firemind, by SaintAbsol

Author's Notes:

I strongly recommend reading Pest Control before reading this one.

There were often times that Jace found himself wondering how Niv-Mizzet managed to get anything done in his perpetually dark office.

While Jace's ego would have been quick to claim that he was the one that got things done, and he was only still the Vice Principal out of his own humility, the rational part of his mind reminded him that Niv-Mizzet did still have final say on quite a lot of matters pertaining to the school board, as well as holding enough sway with certain members that even Abacus Cinch's legendary 'Reputation' would be hard pressed to counter him.

Which, of course, just made denying him his occasional obsessions all the harder to do.

Jace made sure to keep his face impassive as the principal continued to stare at the television, watching shaky videos of young 'Saint' Applejack as she did battle with an insectoid abomination. Vines, wood, and even an actual tree at one point all seeming to spring out of nowhere as she fought with it, her eyes visibly flashing green each time. And through it all, Niv-Mizzet barely seemed to blink as he watched in silence.

Finally, after the report cut back to the news room, he muted the device with a gesture. "Her skill with pentachromatic mana is growing," Niv-Mizzet said at last, his gaze shifting to Jace. "One could almost say she has a gift for it."

"She has skill with it," Jace diplomatically responded. "That doesn't make her a prodigy."

"It still makes her interesting." Niv-Mizzet's hand fingered a coin of some sort, the markings on it long since rubbed away by the man's subconscious habit. "It also makes her a perfect candidate for our collection."

"We had an agreement, Niv-Mizzet." Jace knew better than to make his tone accusatory, but even he couldn't hold in the entirety of his nerves at the moment.

Thankfully, the principal was engrossed in the television display once more, now displaying the gigantic girl as she jogged alongside a highway. "I have not forgotten my word, Vice Principal Beleren. You will still have the time you requested; however, I do suggest you try to be very... persuasive with Canterlot High's vice principal, as well as its principal should it come to that." Jace's throat suddenly felt dry and the room quite a bit warmer as Niv-Mizzet glared at him out of the corner of his eye. "I do not have much patience for needless delays."

The sensation was gone just as it came, and Jace gulped, feeling some sweat running from his brow and down his face. "Of course, Sir."

"Good." Niv-Mizzet turned back to the television and waved one of his hands. "You are dismissed."

Jace had to concentrate to keep his steps slow and measured as he exited the office, releasing a breath he'd only been half aware he was holding as soon as he'd closed the door. "...may all the gods damn this job," he muttered. "And damn me for accepting it." With a final shake of his head, Jace headed toward his office, already organizing his thoughts for what he'd have to do tomorrow evening.
He was going to need a lot of protective spells for the coming conversation.

Minister of the Interior, by FoME

Sunset sighed as she followed the rampaging designer who'd been let loose in her home. "You really don't have to do this, Rarity."

"Nonsense, darling. If you're going to be worshipped, we can't have you forced to be surrounded by furniture no one this side of the Saddlantic can pronounce." Rarity gave a significant glance to Sunset's small coffee table.

The other girl pouted and patted the table protectively. "Now you're just hurting Mörbylånga's feelings."

"My point exactly. And goodness knows you have a copious budget to work with."

Sunset folded her arms. "You told me to get that Benefacteor account just so you could give this place a makeover, didn't you?"

"I will neither confirm nor deny that." Rarity stopped by one of the few doors in the largely open building. "My, my, what have we here?"

"Rarity, don't—"

"AAAAAHHH!"

"Open... that." Sunset closed the door through telekinesis, then took hold of her staggering friend. "You okay?"

"I will recover. In time. A great deal of time." Rarity let Sunset guide her into a chair, then asked, "What exactly was that?"

"A gateway to the Astral Plane. You'd be surprised how often I need to pop in and out of it."

"You may want to consider a lock on the door."

"I don't usually have visitors, but you're right." Sunset sighed. "Sorry about that. I've been trying to decorate the place, but I only ever managed to change the background color once, and I haven't quite figured out how I did that. So it's stuck on orange."

"More of a burnt sienna," said Rarity, "in the sense that it incinerated my eyes!"

"You're never going to let me live this down, are you?"

"Not on your life."

Author's Notes:

Yes, that is the name of a table available from Ikea. I made sure to preserve every diacritic.

Traveling Salesman Problem, by Masterweaver

Sunset sighed as she slipped into the Astral Plane. She didn't like to think she could be overwhelmed but, on occasion, there were just too many people doing too many stupid things in one day. After cleaning up a particular magic convergence, firmly lecturing the leaders of the twelve countries involved, and asking her church to help with the clean-up, she was looking forward to a nice time alone.

"HELLO THERE!"

Which was abruptly interrupted by what looked to be a lizardy bird thing with squid tails.

"Are you feeling a little unsatisfied with the state of your cosmic residence?" it asked perkily, coiling around the astral realm. "Is your background dull or disturbing? Do you wish you had the glorious arches and altars needed to wow mortal visitors?"

Sunset facepalmed. "I do not need this right now..."

"We-he-hell, you don't have to decide right now," the creature admitted with a fanged grin. "But in case you EVER need a hand redecorating, Cross-Cosmos Decor and Furniture is always available to lend a manipulatory appendage of your choice!"

"Look, I've had a very, very long day. I just want to relax and—"

"Nooooot a problem! Your first ethereal environmental restructuring comes free with up to TEN kilo-prayers worth of furniture!" The strange being snapped its talons and a large marble hot tub with ornate images carved into its surface dropped behind it. "As you can see, we seek to anticipate any and all of our customer's wants and needs. The iconography on this luxurious piece is fully adjustable, so you can update it at will with your holy symbols or a histography of your miraculous accomplishments—"

Sunset rubbed her forehead wearily. "Oh, geeze. Okay, I can see that this is your job and all, but—really, I'm still getting used to this whole deity thing and honestly? I don't want to make any decisions while I'm this stressed out."

"Oh I sympathize entirely," the creature replied. "In fact, might I recommend a lovely stellar format for your realm?" With a wave of its arm, the entire region transformed into something resembling a NEISA photograph. "This wondrous view of the cosmos has been guaranteed by a significant amount of psychologists to—"

Its voice was cut off when Sunset grabbed its snout, dragged its head down, and looked into its eyes.

"Take your stuff with you," she growled, "and come back in three days—local time—with a catalog. Do. You. Understand?"

It nodded.

"Right. Good."

Sunset released her grip. The creature held up a talon, paused, and snapped again, undoing all that had been done before vanishing.

For a moment, Sunset stared into space. Then she rocked forward, fell onto what counted as the ground, and gave a long, aggravated sigh.

Weighty Matters, by SaintAbsol

"So, you've got a fangirl."

Applejack blinked as she looked away from the retreating figure of Zipporwhill, glancing over to Sunset as the other girl typed away on her phone. "Startin' to think yer followin' me, Sunset."

The girl-turned-goddess shrugged as she continued to type away. "I try to keep a close eye on all my friends; you've just been getting a bit more attention as of late because of that... trick, of yours."

Applejack fingered her charm without even thinking about it, mind wandering. "That's one way o' sayin' it... yeah." She was silent for a moment, before shaking her head. "And, yeah, met Zipporwhill at that weddin' a little ways back. Nice kid; bit excitable, needs to learn a bit o' self-preservation, but nice. Likes to be 'round whenever I get big, thinks it's cool or somethin'."

Sunset just shrugged, finally looking up from her phone, then frowned at something behind her friend. "AJ, incoming."

"Huh?" Applejack turned, just in time to see a man in a three-piece suit, horn-rimmed glasses, and carrying a briefcase strolling toward them with a purpose.

"Ms. Applejack?" he questioned.

Applejack hesitated a moment, but slowly nodded. "... Eeyep?"

The man reached into the inner pocket of his suit, and pulled out a piece of paper, handing it over to Applejack. "Have a nice day." And, with that, the man turned and walked away, leaving a very confused Applejack behind him.

"... What was that about?" Applejack looked down at the folded bit of parchment, slowly opening it up. "It's a letter... from the state department?" AJ's eyes flashed across it, slowly widening as she she read more and more. "I'm bein' sued!"

Sunset looked over Applejack's shoulder, peering at the letter. "For what?"

"Destruction o' property," she responded, still gaping at the letter. "When I was fightin' one o' those monsters the other day, I accidentally sat on a warehouse. Now the owner's tryin' to sue me fer... there is no way in Tartarus that thing was worth THAT much!"

Sunset winced in sympathy as AJ started to rant and rave about the legal system, the building's owner, and various other aspects of the situation. Pulling out her phone, Sunset called up her bank account, as well as sending a text to Ruby to set up a meeting with Ounce Pin... she was going to need a very crazy lawyer to take up AJ's defense.

In a Friendly Neighborhood, by ArtieStroke

Featherweight jolted up as that... what was that, a bear? Certainly not like any bear he'd seen before. He flashed Wiz a look of worry, who simply nodded in return as the two of them bolted from the stands. As soon as Featherweight had dove underneath them, he was already worming his way out of his jacket. Wiz slid right next to him, phone out and numbers called.

"Eye in the Sky to Dapper Gent, we've got a situation at the high school-"

"Well aware, old boy," Fancy Pants' voice crackled on the other end, "Perhaps we should come up with shorter monikers? Bit of a mouthful, that—"

"Roger that and whatever. What the actual heck is going on?!"

"Seriously?" Featherweight said, mask over his face and his new suit sealed tight to his teenage form.

"We don't quite know. Just some panicked chatter about angry shadowy beasts converging on the high school over the radio."

"Wait there's gonna be more of these things?!"

"Not if we can help it," Featherweight interrupted, now fully donning the Spider-Hawk costume. With a thwip, the micro-grappler sunk into the roof of a nearby building, and Wiz was alone.

"Stay safe little bro. Fancy, can you help us out at all?"

"Already on my way. Got a wave from Sunny, looks like it's a boys-night-out for now. Need to keep the students safe."

"Yeah," Wiz looked over back to the field- the Rainbooms were giving what they could to those creatures, but it seemed like a close battle. As for the Crystal Prep team... they were still running the relay.

"Oh you have got to be kidding me," Wiz groaned. So much for the friendship part of these games.

Author's Notes:

You may want to (re)familiarize yourself with Playing Hero if you find yourself confused by this one.

In any case, the timeline doesn't quite mesh here, but when has that ever stopped comics? :raritywink:

Early Release, by SaintAbsol

Twilight Velvet hummed to herself as she carried in a few mid-week groceries, really just a single bag of some snacks and Spike's favorite brand of dog treats (and he'd been sure to tell everyone they were his favorite now that he could speak). Still, it was one of those increasingly rare 'normal' days for her. There wasn't anything on the news about various superheroes, nor any announcements about the laws of physics being bent or broken with magic, her daughter hadn't accidentally shattered space and time, and Sunset had even suggested a perfectly normal 'not-a-date' for the two of them involving dinner and a movie.

With that track record, she really should have been expecting the universe to pull the rug out from under her.

As soon as she placed the bag on the counter, she turned away... and was met by something that looked like a robotic toy; a small dog, roughly Spike's size, that tilted its head at her as it sat on the floor.

"You are my Creator's Creator... yes?" She, for that was definitely a female voice under all that synthesizing, spoke.

Twilight Velvet was silent for a long moment, before slowly closing her eyes and inhaling deeply. "Twilight Sparkle! Get in here this instant!"

-------

"What did I tell you about this sort of thing?!"

Twilight found herself unable to meet her mother's glare as she sheepishly adjusted her glasses. "Technically... you just told me no experimenting on Spike..."

"Don't you try to Exact Words me, young lady! You know exactly what I meant!"

As mother and daughter argued back and forth, two dogs (one robotic, one organic) watched the verbal volley with eyes flashing back and forth.

"They're going to be at that for a while," Spike observed, then turned to his synthetic counterpart. "So... how's life treating you so far?"

The mechanical canine shrugged, still watching the fight. "It is too early to make an informed judgment regarding such a matter."

"Kay," Spike was quiet again for a moment, then spoke up once again. "Wanna go chase squirrels in the backyard?"

"Yes."

"Excellent," Spike said as they both rose to their paws. "They're not going to stand a chance."

Electric Light Duet, by Masterweaver and FoME (Suggestive)

(Masterweaver)

"... I... I have no words."

Sunset took a breath. "Rarity, I know this is strange—"

"This isn't just strange. This is... this is a form of fashion that... this is science fiction."

"Rarity—"

"How does this even... Why would she even... Is there... What is the point?" Rarity cried, gesturing futilely. "What is the point?! I can get accentuating features but this is—"

"Look. It was her decision. I checked with her dad; she raised the money, she paid for it."

"Sunset, Vinyl has implanted an LED network into the skin of her boobs! HER BOOBS! They can make flashy patterns now, and--I can't even—why?!"

Sunset considered her for a moment or two.

"...Octavia seems to like it."

"More evidence she's secretly insane, then. THIS WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN IN MY LIFETIME!"


(FoME)

Sonic bliss filled the basement bunker as it had most days over the summer, but today's session came to an abrupt halt as one of the performers found herself shaking too hard to continue.

"Vi—" Octavia hiccuped, then took a few deep breaths, resting her cello on its stand lest she drop it. "Vinyl, please."

Vinyl just tilted her head inquisitively.

"Look, if you don't want to wear a bra in your own house, that's your business. But I can't perform if I'm watching you synchronize your... your bosom to the song like we're a two-girl Trans-Sibearian Orchestra."

Vinyl gave an innocent, wide-eyed look that might have worked better without the shades. It definitely would have worked better if she didn't then whistle an arpeggio with accompanying chest-mounted light show shining through her almost translucent T-shirt.

Octavia's face twisted up until she burst into shameful giggles. "All right, all right, I'll say it! Stop flashing your tits at me!"

Author's Notes:

SaintAbsol asked what the difference was between silicon and silicone. This resulted.

And yes, this is a real thing.

More to Love, by SaintAbsol (Suggestive)

"I must admit," Luna said, pointedly looking off in another direction. "When I first acquired these abilities, I was expecting quite a few situations like this; thus far, I have been pleasantly surprised by how few times it has happened."

"That's nice and all, Vice Principal Luna... but, could ya not do somethin' like this in the future?"

Luna risked a glance back, finding Applejack wrapped in a thick blanket that seemed nearly half an acre in size. "Dreams are my responsibility now, Applejack; and, in a world where thoughts can be projected into reality, to say nothing of your own abilities, making sure that dreams remain only dreams is a very important task." She hesitated. "Though... I will have to work out a better system for determining where my influence is needed... I would rather not be accused of unsavory acts with my students due to another incident such as this..."

"Eeyep..." Aj responded, the oversized girl's eyes darted around the dreamscape, as she kept a firm (albeit gentle) grip on the other figure hiding under her blanket at the moment. "You... um... you won't tell her about this, right? It'd make things really uncomfortable."

Luna chuckled a bit, turning away and walking toward a door that had appeared from nowhere. "The personal lives of my students are only a concern to me when they cause harm to others; your fantasies are safe with me, young Applejack." The door opened without Luna touching it, and she strolled though.

"Alright then," she heard AJ ask as she shut the door behind her. "Where were we?"

Author's Notes:

The author has requested that the identity of Applejack's blanket partner be kept indefinite, for fear of audience backlash.

The Wisdom of Fools, by Masterweaver (Sex)

"SEX! SEX EVERYWHERE! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHshpffblrgalwaaaaaaa— pfft-pfffff..."

The now thoroughly soaked Lemon Zest gave Sunny Flare a flat look.

"Not everybody thinks about sex—"

"I highly doubt that!"

"—all the time."

"That's far more likely," Lemon allowed. "Still, kind of a big deal, given that it was pretty much the way to create life for most of known history, and also kind of fun."

"You're a virgin."

"And how do you know that?"

Sunny half-smiled. "I have my ways."

"Oh-ho-ho! So Flare Bear does have a saucy side!" The drenched Lemon Zest scooted close to the other girl. "So tell me, oh wise one..."

She pressed her chest close to the other's shoulder.

"...can you teach this humble soul the intimate ways of the carnal arts?"

Sunny Flare rolled her eyes. "If you're trying to get a rise out of me, you'll be sadly disappointed."

"What, you straight?"

"No, I just have a very low libido."

"Oh that I can definitely believe. A sopping wet hot chick on your shoulder and you don't even blush?"

"Sopping wet, I'll grant you."

"HEY!"

"You know we're in public, right?" Sunny gave her a look. "And that your mother will probably hear about this?"

"Eh, like she can stop me. Worst she can do is cut me off."

Sunny Flare's eyebrow rose. "That's generally a very bad thing."

"Yeeeeeeees," Lemon drawled, "because money is totes necessary for stuff like shelter, right? But I have a secret I want to tell you."
She looked left. She looked right. She leaned in.

"Money is worthless without people."

"Right, yes, its value only exists because society—"

"No no no, you don't get it. Let me put it another way." Lemon leaned back. "You know the phrase 'Money is power?' I prefer to say 'Money is power translated.' Power can be translated a lot of ways—through money, through military, through magic, through knowledge and study and science—but there is only one real source of power."

"Sunset Shimmer?"

"People." Lemon shrugged. "Sunset is also people, mind, but she's not the only people."

Sunny Flare paused for a moment or two. "...That is actually remarkably deep, now that I think about it."

"Aha! You see, I can do smart!"

"You just choose not to so people underestimate you."

"And so they don't exploit me."

"So, what?" Sunny asked. "Your mom cuts you off, and...?"

"I ask Sugarcoat to house me for a week or two while I look for an apartment. I ask Jet Set to put in a good word for me at some local business, so I can get a job. Maybe I ask one of the other members of the church for charity every once in a while. They do it, because I've made sure--absolutely sure--that I'm worth their time and effort."

"And if they don't?"

Lemon shrugged. "Then you're going to get to see me as a pauper begging at your doorstep for bread."

Sunny snorted. "Why my doorstep?"

"Figured you'd get a kick out of it."

"...I might, at that..."

All a Big Joke, by ArtieStroke

"I'm just saying—"

"Nope."

"Look, there's a lot of weirdos who'd pay some pretty big bucks—"

"Nope."

Rarity quirked an eyebrow as she sat down at the usual lunch table, Rainbow Dash and Applejack being the only other occupants at the moment.

"What in good heavens am I walking in on?"

Rainbow rolled her eyes, jutting a thumb at the farm girl, "AJ is being a TOTAL stick in the mud refusing to sell her freaky huge-body on the internet for some fun money."

"Ah," Rarity responded, idly twirling the spaghetti on her plate. Typical Rainbow-level antics, per usual, "Yes, I suppose that is so incredibly inconsiderate of her."

She smirked a little, as she brought the fork up to her mouth, "Although, she is allowed to make her own decisions. She is a big girl, after all."

Rarity savored the pasta for about two seconds before Rainbow Dash and Applejack simultaneously burst out laughing and groaned painfully, respectfully.

"F-for you!" Rainbow gasped between giggles.

Rarity merely patted AJ on the arm. "Come now, Applejack. Surely you can be the bigger person and forgive me my one indulgence?"

"Oh, for the love of—!" AJ leveled a glare at Rarity, but those faux-innocent eyes merely batted away the ire with fake lashes.

"Seriously, though," Rainbow said, getting control of herself, "lotta people could be into that sort of thing."

"On a theoretical level, I suppose Dash is right," Rarity said, "Something about a big, strong person there to protect you... I can see the appeal." Dramatically, she lay down across Applejack's lap, linking her hands behind the farmer's neck, "Oh, Applejack- hold me in your big, strong arms~"

For Applejack's part, her face went surprisingly red for someone with a dire lack of chromelanin. She unhooked Rarity's arms, stood up, and absconded without even a glance behind.

"Nope. Nope. Nope! Nope! Nope!"

Rarity and Dash both watched her leave, a little confusion written on both their faces. Rarity hummed, still stretched out over two seats with her head in her hand.

"Well, looks like we got too big for our britches, Rainbow Dash."

"Heh. 'Big'."

Author's Notes:

Dash's attitudes do not reflect those of the author or the compiler.

Doo Keep Watch, by ArtieStroke and Masterweaver

(ArtieStroke)

"So, that was pretty crazy, right?" Flash said, taking a seat next to a frazzled-looking Ditzy. She smiled lightly. The courtyard of CHS was gonna need some serious repairs after Cinch's little meltdown.

"I'll say. Still not as bad as that time with the corn starch goo in third grade."

Flash grimaced, his face coloring a little, "Ah man, you still remember that?"

"Pretty sure photos of our faces are still taped next to Mrs. Method's supply closet with 'Do not let these students near non-Applian fluids' written underneath."

They both chuckled at that, but Flash frowned. "Something's eating at ya, Dee."

"Is it that obvious?" Ditzy asked, before sighing, "That one Shadowbolt, Indigo? Dash thought she might have flung herself outside dimensions but..."

"Even with your own weird transdimensional travel stuff, you can't find her?"

Ditzy nodded. Flash put a hand on her shoulder, a small but reassuring smile on his face. "You're top-notch people, Dee. Don't get yourself too worked up about it. Things seem pretty dark before they get light again, you know?"

Ditzy smiled for a moment, before sticking her tongue out and playfully shoving him. "You've always been such a sap, Sentry!"

"Probably got something to do with the cornstarch incident," Flash returned in kind, before standing up, "And hey, if there's anything I could ever do to help..."

"I think the talk was just about what I needed," Ditzy said, smiling. "Now get along, ya big goofball."

Flash grinned, giving a mock salute before going back to... well, whatever sensitive musician types do.

"Wow," Blue Oyster said, taking up Flash's old spot.

"Yeah. Feels like that's the first I've heard Flash say anything in like... months," Raspberry Fluff agreed, seating herself on Ditzy's opposite side.

Our heroine of many planes of existence shrugged. "Guy's had a tough couple of months. His ex is basically god now, you know?"

"Still not god!" Sunset shouted, out of habit.

"Of course you'd know what his deal is," said Blue. "Haven't you two been friends since basically kindergarten?"

"Something like that."

Razz gasped, thoughts aligning, "Wait, you don't think he...?"

Ditzy and Blue looked at Razz for a few moments in confusion, before the same thoughts dawned on them.

"Oh, jeeze I hope not!"

"With her childhood friend? That would be SO cliche!"

All three turned towards the small form of Dinky, chatting with the Crusaders in the aftermath of the games. Ditzy squinted. The purple of her skin didn't look... TOO blue, did it?

(Masterweaver)

Then Ditzy blinked. "Wait—no, hold on this doesn't make sense. Chronologistically speaking—"

Everyone around her groaned. "Skrith damn it," Blue said, metamorphosing into a horrific monster, "can't you GALAX-E girls ever be taken in by a mental hallucination?"

"Gotta train for everything," Ditzy replied, flashing into her skirt ensemble. "Traditionally, I'd demand your surrender, but you guys have never taken it."


(ArtieStroke)

"Okay, I'm starting to get Moony's frustration now. Seriously, timelines!! Always timelines!!!!"

Wiz gave Minuette a look for just a moment, turning in confusion to his brother mid-bite into his PB & J. Featherweight shrugged. "Honestly I think it just makes it more obvious how much of a comic-book world we live in now."

Minuette rolled her eyes, "Yeah, well at least you don't get time-sick every time someone sticks an event where it shouldn't be."

"Time-sick?"

Minuette shuddered, "You don't wanna know. Though unfortunately I think you MIGHT some time next Tuesday. Sorry in advance." She frowned a little. "For some reason it's always Tuesdays that are the worst of it. Hmm."

"Maybe there's some kind of temporal connection to tacos in abundance? Like some kind of Neighican-food-anchor?" Wiz suggested.

Minuette looked at him for a long moment, before tapping a finger to her chin thoughtfully. "Honestly? Better hypothesis than anything I've thought up so far."

Author's Notes:

"Non-Applian" of course refers to Falling Apple, the brilliant Bittish scientist who may or may not have permanently borrowed certain concepts from Germane contemporary Infinitesimalrechnung.

And yeah, the Friendship Games took place months before Dinky arrived in the past. Fortunately, these two were able to reconcile the issue in an amusing fashion. As for whether Flash really is the Endymion to Ditzy's Serenity? No comment.

Peril Quarter, by Masterweaver, FoME, and SaintAbsol

(Masterweaver)

"HOLY HECK! You have a functional HOLODECK!"

"Yes, Miss Sparkle. It took a few years to produce but—"

"An actual holodeck for actual training of actual super-heroes!" The purple girl's eyes were wide as she quivered in glee. "I... I just..."

"Wow." Sunset giggled. "I've heard of nerdgasms before, but—"

"This isn't a nerdgasm. This is nerdvana." Twilight hugged one of the projected monsters. "I am living a geek's dream."

Fancy Pants gave a small chuckle of his own. "Glad you approve, Miss Sparkle."

"So I get the holodeck thing," Sunset offered, "and I can totally see why you're going with this. But, um... why did Celestia want me to look it over?"

"Oh. Well, you see, we were planning to use some of your... incidents in our training. The Friendship Games, for instance. Everything that happened there would be a good example of a typical Power Patriot scenario: civilians hypnotized and superpowered, requiring quick thinking and delicate consideration—"

"Ah, right. Yeah, sure, I'm cool with it. Might want to check with everyone that was involved though. And make some other scenarios."

"You've got to pull some stuff from comics," Twilight demanded. "And books. Movies. Video games. This is a live action video game. We can actually—"

"Twilight?" Sunset gripped her shoulders. "Breathe. This is a training room, for people who will be going into dangerous situations. This is not meant to be fun. This is meant to be serious."

"...I mean... it can be both, right?"

(FoME)

"Fancy Industries is planning on a recreational version as a long-term project."

Sunset gave Fancy a harried look. "Mr. Pants, with all due respect, I am trying to defuse a barely subcritical Twilight Sparkle here. You aren't helping."

(SaintAbsol)

"I WANT TO HUG MY CAPSUMON!"

"See what I mean?"

Sunny Delight, by Masterweaver

"...Hey Flare Bear?"

Sunny Flare rolled her eyes. "What is it, Lemon?"

"Are we, like, friends now?"

"....what?"

"I mean, I've been hanging around you and being my usual crazy self. Maybe not as crazy, but you know, still the thing that would have ticked you off in the past, and you've been exasperated but you haven't told me to make tracks like you used to." The pink girl shrugged. "What's up with that?"

"I've learned that it's impossible to convince you to leave, so I endure your nonsense."

"Yeah, that would be a lot more convincing if you didn't actually talk with me. You're answering my question, there's some sort of... some connection there."

"We are both top five Crystal Prep students," Sunny pointed out. "And that means we will almost inevitably be interacting for a long time."

"Sunny, have you ever heard the term 'tsundere?'"

"I have never demonstrated any deredere ways. I do not regard you with affection, romantic or platonic."

Lemon Zest tapped her fingers together. "But... you don't hate me anymore, right?"

"I... What?" Sunny Flare looked up. "Hate you? I've never hated you. Despised you, certainly, considered you a frivolous girl who coasted by on her connections and acted out to unset the balance of society, but that was just disgust. Not hatred." She paused. "And... I will admit, you have proven yourself to have some level of depth behind your actions."

"Oh. So... do you still despise me, then?"

"No, Lemon Zest. These days, I merely find you irritating."

"Enh, that's fair, I kinda think everyone does."

Sunny Flare glanced up. "You know, you could try to be less irritating."

"Yeah, I could." Lemon paused. "Don't think I want to, though. Irritation is great for getting people to say how they really feel, and that always helps when figuring out what they need."

"Still playing the trickster therapist, then?"

The girl grinned broadly. "You know it, babe."

"...new rule: no flirty nicknames."

"But what if we start dating at some point?"

"The rule will never be abolished."

Author's Notes:

I suppose shipping Lemon with Ditzy would constitute soda, Sour Sweet would be OJ, and Twilight the purple stuff.

Hocus Pocus Beginnings, by Void Knight

“No thanks, Ditzy,” said Twilight. “I don’t play Hocus Pocus: the Get-Together much these days, remember?”

“Oh. Right, I forgot about… that,” replied Ditzy, momentarily looking Very Wise Indeed before scooting down two spaces to sit across from Pinkie, who promptly pulled a deck out of her hair.

“Forgot about what?” asked Sunset after swallowing a mouthful of daisy sandwich. “Judging from the way Ditzy’s acting, I’m guessing there’s a story here?”

Twilight sighed. “You’ll find out sooner or later, specially if you keep poking around the bits of Hocus Pocus magic that are popping up these days. And it’s not really bad, just embarrassing.”

“Embarrassing?” asked Sunset.

“Ok, here’s the thing,” said Twilight. “A couple of years back, Warlocks on the Mount did what was basically a reboot of Hocus Pocus. Starting a new era, with each set connected into one overarching story. A story revolving around five planewalkers, one for each of the five colors. Short Fuse for red, Deep Thought for blue, Femme Fatale for black, Worldwaker for green, and for white…” she paused for a moment, “…Shining Armor.”

“What?” said Sunset in astonishment.

“Yep. Complete coincidence, as far as I can tell. But still, it’s kind of hard to enjoy the story when one of the main characters is named after your brother. Though to be fair, there are much worse characters that could be named after him."

There was a moment's pause, then Twilight said contemplatively, "Funny thing is, if it had started now, it probably wouldn't have affected me so much. When your girlfriend is God Not-Far-Short-Of-Almighty and a decent chunk of the planet worships you as a living saint, having one of the protagonist of a card game be named after your brother is small potatoes in comparison. It's amazing what you can get used to, given time. Maybe I'll dust off the cards."

"Maybe you can teach me," said Sunset. "If I'm to get a handle on these pentachromic leaks, it might help to understand this game. Plus it sounds like a lot of fun."

Author's Notes:

"In all fairness," said Ditzy, "Shining Armor the planeswalker was established years before that set, back in Rise of the Squirkazi."

"Yeah, but I hadn't started playing when that set came out."

"Fair enough."

Twisted Tales, by ArtieStroke

"You girls wanna Woohoo?"

"Please," Aria said, slumping onto the table in front of her mic, "the only thing worse than the inane questions our viewers send in are the random Woohoo asks they submit."

"Just read the submission, Sonata," Adagio said, filing her nails. The girl obliged.
"Alrighty, this one was sent in by Level 9000 Red Cloaks Captain Quill Davenport—thank you, Davenport! It reads, 'Really freaked out my girlfriend, need help'."

Adagio perked up, "Ooh, relationship advice, my favorite."

Sonata giggled, "You ain't seen NOTHING yet. Anyways, 'When I was younger I dealt with depression, and as a coping mechanism I formed a bit of a bond with the comic character Pasta Cat."

"Oh, please no—"

"It's sad, but reading his shenanigans was the only thing that helped me cope, and eventually it took on an—pff... EROTIC FIXATION!"
Sonata howled with laughter, pounding the table as Adagio's interest quickly waned. Great, just another great big goof. Her talents were wasted on this advice podcast.

Aria, on the other hand... "Holy SHIT this GOLDEN. Is there more?!"

Sonata nodded through her tears of laughter, "In order... PFFF... in order to not feel like some kind of sicko, I started drawing Pasta Cat with a GIRL'S BODY. And in parenthesis, 'think circa mid 90s Chrysalis'."

"Fucking nailed it in ONE. DEFINITELY not the work of a sicko," Aria laughed.

Adagio shrugged. "Honestly, I've seen weirder on the Internet. This is child's play."

"Putting a pin in THAT thought," Aria said, motioning Sonata to continue.

She cleared her throat. "Anyways, long story short, my girlfriend stumbled onto the hidden folder in my computer where I kept my years worth of self-insert fanfiction. How do I show her that I'm just a normal guy with a unique outlet for my emotional troubles?"

Aria nodded sagely, "Well, really there's— first of all, when he's getting goosey with Pasta-Catsylis, is that like a thing that happens only on Mondays? Because that makes just, just a lot of sense."

"Poor abomination against sanity probably hasn't had a good lay in any of those stories," Adagio agreed.

Sonata pouted. "I mean, different strokes and all that, yeah? EVERYONE has some feelings deep inside you would never, ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER tell anyone," Adagio and Aria gave each other a very pointed look, "And I'm not saying mine is on the level of cartoon cat-head person-body—"

"The key to success here," Aria interrupted, "Is just keeping that shit locked AWAY. Like, maybe NOT telling the entirety of the Internet about it? Cause that shit's forever."

"Really screwed the pooch on that one." Adagio agreed.

"Or the pussy."

The three of them all had a good laugh, before Sonata got on the mic again, "Alright, I think that's gonna do it for us, folks. This has been My Sister, My Sister and Me, an advice show for the modern era. I'm Sonata Dusk."

"I'm Aria Blaze."

"And I'm Adagio Dazzle. kiss your lover square on the lips."

With a flick, Sonata turned off the recording equipment, grinning, "I think this may be our best episode yet."

Author's Notes:

I'll let Artie explain this one:

Quick note- following the MBMBAM submission formula, Davenport FOUND that Woohoo Ask on the net and submitted it to the podcast for giggles- Davenport is NOT the one with the Pasta Cat fanfiction, I do not besmirch our dear sofa and quills salesman. Based on this GOLDEN bit from My Brother, My Brother, and Me.

Strangers in a Strange Land, by Thought Prism

The western Badlands were aptly named. With rain being as scarce there as Pinkie was hyperactive, the area was perpetually dry. Cracks permeated the sun-scorched earth, and only the hardiest of life forms could survive there, magic or not.

It was in that inhospitable place, with nigh but tumbleweeds for company, did something wholly unusual happen. Without warning, a jagged portal appeared, and two men stepped through the gash.

The first had the grizzled expression of a hardened warrior, with a five-o’clock shadow to match. He wore tan and lavender robes, their edges lined with fur, under a navy blue half-cape. His long black hair was streaked with grey, and pinned in place by a pewter hairpiece. A straight scabbard rested on his belt.

The second had the bearing and appearance of an aristocrat, composed and in control. His robes were blue, decorated with patterns of falling snow that matched his pristine white hair. In his hand was an elaborate smoking pipe, and on his head sat an equally elaborate diadem of silver and crystal.

Both took stock of their surroundings. His brow furrowing, the man with the pipe took a long puff and sighed. “Well,” he began, “This place looks—“

However, he was cut off. Because Sunset Shimmer had seen the wound in spacetime along with the two men who appeared from it, and only just now finished politely excusing herself from band practice with the girls.

Naturally, when she manifested herself directly in front of the pair, arms crossed in frustration, they were rather shocked.

“Woah!” the swordsman exclaimed, leaping to the side with his hand poised to draw.

“—promising,” the aristocrat finished. Then, he blinked at Sunset. “Why, hello there. What, may I ask, is a fine young lady such as yourself doing in a place like this?”

That’s what you ask first?” said the swordsman, no longer reeling. “Not ‘how did you just appear out of nowhere?’ or even ‘do you need some ointment for your massive sunburns?’”

Sunset groaned. “I should be the one asking you questions. Considering you two kinda just tore a gaping hole in the fabric of the universe. Which, I might add, I’ve been working very hard to hold together 24/7.”

The swordsman scratched his nose and thought for a moment. “Oh, so you’re some kind of god, then? I wouldn’t have guessed.”

“I don’t like to think so, but that is the common consensus, yes,” Sunset replied, still unamused. “My name is Sunset Shimmer. I watch over this world, and protect it from magical threats. That said, I’m going to assume you are one unless you can convince me otherwise.”

The swordsman’s face paled a bit, and he glanced over to the aristocrat. “What should I do?” he asked.

The aristocrat waved his hand noncommittally. “I couldn’t say. I’m just a spectator here, after all.”

The swordsman sighed. “Well, I’m Shāng Bù Huàn, and this guy next to me goes by Lǐn Xuě Yā. And we’re, uhh, looking for a safe place.”

Sunset’s eyebrow rose. “Really, now? Define ‘safe place’ for me.”

“You know,” began Bù Huàn, “a world without any crazy villians or demon lords. Somewhere secure.”

“We’re refugees,” said Xuě Yā.

Sunset made a show of sizing up the both of them. Bù Huàn looked uneasy. “Yeah, not buying it,” she said. “If that’s the case, why are there only two of you?”

“Stop lying all the time, Xuě Yā!” exclaimed Bù Huàn. “You made it worse!”

“I didn’t think you were actually going to try and tell this woman the truth,” he replied calmly. “If she is lying, we could be dooming thousands by believing her. And if she isn’t, she may smite us for our insolence.”

“I don’t know why I put up with you…” Bù Huàn muttered to himself.

Sunset cleared her throat. “Why are you actually here?”

Bù Huàn scratched his nose again. “The short answer? I’m trying to get rid of a bunch of powerful magic swords I don’t want falling into the wrong hands.”

“Magic swords,” repeated Sunset. “In plural?”

Xuě Yā nodded. “I believe he has thirty-five in his possession at the moment. Each one is capable of slayings gods and demons alike.”

Sunset’s jaw slowly dropped.

“So, now you know,” said Bù Huàn. “After we look around here for a while, and if it turns out this world of yours actually is safe, I was thinking you could find a good place to put them. Maybe? It would be a huge relief.”

Sunset snapped. “I am not letting you offload thirty-five god slaying swords here!”

“Actually, he’d be keeping the Infinity Carver, so thirty-four,” noted Xuě Yā. “We’d require that one if the need to return here arose.”

“Like that makes a difference?” shouted Sunset. “Yeah, still a no.”

“What? Why not?” Bù Huàn asked, frowning. “They can be useful, otherwise I would have just destroyed them all already.”

Sunset facepalmed. “Look, Bù Huàn, was it? I’m sure they are quite useful. But I pretty much am a god; you think I’d be comfortable keeping them around? Not only that, Earth, the world you’re on right now, already has far too much extradimensional magic for comfort. If these swords of yours are as dangerous as you say, just bringing them here might end up adding enough energy to destabilize reality enough that it becomes beyond my ability to fix. Then the universe would implode.”

Bù Huàn blanched. “Uhh…”

This prompted an identical reaction in Sunset. “Oh Celestia, you brought them all here with you.”

“It’s ok!” he assured. “Eh, probably. They’re all bound in a sealing scroll, and the scroll is locked within my qi.”

Sunset sighed in relief. “Thank goodness. For a second there, I thought their magic was so foreign I couldn’t sense them, and that our doom approached as we spoke.”

Bù Huàn chuckled awkwardly.

“So,” said Xuě Yā suddenly, “I take it you’d wish us to leave immediately?”

“That would be ideal, yes,” agreed Sunset, nodding.

Bù Huàn shook his head. “It’s always something or other with these extradimensional realms. I’m starting to think we should have just stayed in Dōng Lí.”

“Oh, it’s not all bad,” said Xuě Yā. “I did just have the pleasure of utterly humiliating a giant, mallet-wielding penguin not two hours ago, after all.”

Bù Huàn rolled his eyes at that. “Speak for yourself, why don’t you?”

Sunset tapped her foot impatiently. “Less banter, more exiting, please.”

“Right. Sorry. Let’s go, Xuě Yā.”

With that, the two of them stepped back towards the portal, their garments fluttering in the dry winds. About thirty seconds after they passed though, it stitched itself shut from the other side.

Sunset took a deep breath, confirming with her senses that the damage was completely reversed. Then, an idea popped into her head, which she then voiced aloud to better cement internally. “Hmm. Maybe I could have Ditzy track those two down if the angst monsters ever become too much to handle. But for now, it’s back to shredding some strings.”

She then vanished, and the Badlands were once again empty.

Author's Notes:

I never planned to contribute to this originally, but once I get a good idea, it itches to be born. So have a silly crossover. That said, I shall give a box of internet cookies to anyone who actually recognizes where these characters are from.

~ Thought Prism

Personally, I haven't the slightest clue. Though if you're wondering how those two got past Ms. Harshwhinny, the answer is obvious. They cut in line. :trollestia:

Parting Gift, by BenRG

Author's Notes:

This is a direct continuation of the previous snippet. Indeed, it's a comment on the previous snippet.

It wasn't until a few hours later that Sunset, responding to some instinctive urge, returned to realise that a firmly non-magical sword and dagger (previously hidden under some kind of invisibility ward) were sticking in the ground of the badlands more or less exactly where the two extradimensional visitors had been standing. The two weapons were definitely nonmagical. There was absolutely no doubt about it. Every test that Twilight and Mr. Discord could do to analyse it proved that they were two completely mundane constructions of steel with brass and and quartz decorations in fine-tooled leather sheaths.

This indubitable fact didn't make Sunset any happier about the fact that the rapier and its matched main-gauche had visibly sparked as if charged with static electricity when Sunset touched them for the first time. It also didn't change the fact that these weapons, which Sunset had never seen before, had her Cutie Mark at the join of blade, guard and hilt made out of shaped coloured crystal. There were no prophetic dreams; there were no strange magical signs (beyond Sunset's own magic very occasionally reacting to the weapons in odd ways that might have been more to do with the crystalline decorations;) there was certainly no indication that either weapon could do anything other than what they were overtly designed to do.

Sunset was still worried.

Twilight was quite worried when she visited one day to find the sheathed weapons sitting on a chair opposite Sunset in her apartment. Her girlfriend was staring at them as though she were daring them to speak to her or something similar. After a moment, Twilight broke the silence. "So, what are you going to do with them? Are you going to magic them out of existence?"

"That's my first impulse, but no. I don't trust coincidence and I suspect that destroying them would probably break something somewhere. Until I know what's going on, I'm keeping these things where I can keep an eye on them. I don't trust them not to turn out to have a prophecy about them somewhere!" Sunset grimaced unhappily. "Anyway, I've already tried to give them to Trixie's mom and dad; a magical antiques and curios shop is the best place for them but..." The bacon-haired not-a-goddess ran a hand through her hair. "They keep on turning up here in the morning."

Twilight blinked at that news. "Are you still sure...?"

"The only trace of magic is my own thaumic signature, which worries me. Whatever is happening isn't intrinsic to the rapier and dagger but is some aspect of my own magic that I can't sense consciously."

Twilight considered Sunset's worried expression for a few seconds before she finally decided that she needed to ease the tension of the moment. Thanks to her association with Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie, she concluded that humour was the way to go. "You could always ask Ruby! I'm sure she could get someone to draft a prophecy about them for you!" Twilight giggled at her girlfriend's stricken expression. The lavender-hued mage took a dramatic pose. "They could call it 'Sunset Shimmer and the Legend of the Sun Blades'!"

Sunset's mouth worked silently for a moment. "No," she said at last. "Just... No."

Twilight decided to try her second line of attack and sat down next to Sunset and draw her into an affectionate hug. There is no reason whatsoever to believe that, just as the two girls' attention was diverted, a strange-hued rainbow of seven colours ran along the length of the well-crafted but seemingly-mundane weapons.

All Poured Out, by FoME

"I think I hate Starlight Glimmer."

Sunset couldn't help but smile down at the girl in her lap. She tried to keep any condescension out of her tone. "Trust me, Junior, you don't even know what hatred is."

Junior squirmed and scowled on the comfy, understated chair that had taken Sunset five Realms 4 Less catalogs to find. "Do too."

"Define it."

"Not liking someone a lot." After a moment, Junior continued, "Like, really, really a lot."

"I can't tell if you're being this adorable on purpose or not."

After a moment, Junior giggled. "Neither can I." She crossed her arms. "Though I still don't like Starlight."

"Why not?" said Sunset.

"She used me, broke parts of me, stays in me without anypony asking me what I think, got some of my friends to set me on fire and flood me, and taught her own friend how to teleport my organs."

"Okay, those are pretty good— Wait, what was that about your organs?"

Junior slumped. "Long story. And just when I thought she might be going, she gets to stay anyway. And nopony asked me again!"

Sunset held back most of her laughter. "Do they even know you're there to ask?"

"Well..."

"And she did fix the damage she caused, right?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"And from what I've heard, the fact that she's making friends at all without brainwashing them is a huge, harmonious step forward for her."

Junior squirmed a bit, then looked up at Sunset. "And she did help with the whole changeling invasion thing."

Sunset nodded. "There you go."

"I still wish somepony would ask me how I feel about it."

"How about I go write Twilight and tell her how you feel?"

Junior hopped off the chair and beamed as she picked up the castle hat she'd left on Sunset's end table. "That'd be great! Thanks, Aunt Sunset!"

Sunset grimaced. "I'm... really not comfortable with the idea of being a castle's aunt."

Junior paused in front of the portal to Equestria's Astral Plane. "Cousin?"

"Cousin works."


Starlight blinked and shook her head. "I've offended your house?"

Twilight reread the latest missive from Sunset, then nodded. "Several times over, apparently."

"I... That doesn't even... What?"

Twilight shrugged her wings. "I mean, it is the offspring of the Tree of Harmony."

"Even by your standards, no, by Sunset Shimmer's standards, this is bizarre."

"I don't disagree, but I think you still owe somecastle an apology."

Starlight sighed. "Promise to never say 'somecastle' again, and it's a deal."

Author's Notes:

Some of the blame goes to MythrilMoth, and all of the blame for the story that helped engender this idea goes to me.

So, yeah, my fault. :derpytongue2:

Indigo Origins, by Void Knight

Author's Notes:

The following is emphatically noncanon. We have a plan for Indigo Zap.

And yeah, just the one. It's been a quiet week on the fiction thread. Still, I hope you like it.

Over the past several months, the students at Canterlot High had gotten used to having strange people popping out of the Wondercolt statue with little or no warning. And so it was that when four individuals stepped out of the statue, quite a few of those passing by didn’t give them a second glance. But of those who did give them that second glance, virtually all went back for third and fourth glances. Even by Canterlot High standards, this was unusual.

Two of the four visitors were familiar to the student population of Canterlot. One was, apparently, Vice Principal Beleren from Ravnica High dressed in a very formal, if somewhat rumpled and ill-fitting suit and tie. The second was a supremely furious Indigo Zap, handcuffed, surrounded by a cylinder of glowing blue and white runes, and being manhandled by the third individual, a burly figure covered in full-body riot armor in white-trimmed blue. The fourth figure was a unicorn-aspect woman clad in a police uniform and what looked to be a bulletproof vest, only made of silver and with a cape the same rich blue as her eyes and gem.

Vice Principal Beleren’s headgem lit up, but he didn’t seem to be actually doing anything. There was a moment’s silence as the three aliens and the returnee regarded the locals. Vice Principal Beleren made several interesting faces, but before he could do or say anything, Sunset Shimmer materialized in a flash of light.

“Ok,” said Sunset. “Who are you, what are you doing here, how’d you get past customs, and why do you look like Vice Principal Beleren?”

“In reverse order,” replied the one who evidently wasn’t Vice Principal Beleren, “I have no idea why this world has a Jace Beleren as well, we didn’t know there were any customs but would be quite happy to go through properly, and we’re here to work out jurisdiction and legal protocols for trying her…” here a wave of one hand indicated Indigo, “… given that she’s technically a citizen of a foreign polity.”

“Wait, trying her?” Sunset looked confused. “Trying her for what?”

The woman in the silver vest spoke up, a flicker of light sparking in her gem. “Indigo Zap is currently charged with five hundred thirty-seven counts of criminal enthrallment, seventeen counts of vandalism and destruction of private property worth a total of seven thousand two hundred eleven zinos, two counts of destruction of public property worth three thousand one hundred forty-five zinos, seventeen counts of assault with a lethal weapon, nine counts of assaulting an officer of the law with a lethal weapon, two counts of assaulting an officer of the law with another officer of the law, two counts of unnecessary tossing of the citizenry, one count of public indecency, one count of…”

“Celestia's left wing, what happened?” blurted out Sunset, cutting off the woman’s recitation. “And you,” she said, leveling a finger at the man in the suit, “stop poking around in people’s heads. I can tell you’re doing it, even if you’re smart enough not to try it on me.”

The man looked embarrassed. “Sorry about that,” he said. “Most people don’t notice, and it’s the quickest way to find out what they do and don’t know so I can explain. As for your question, the short version is that Indigo planeswalked into the middle of a market, enthralled most everyone in sight, and when a few people resisted or blocked the effect, she got angry and started throwing lightning around. Started by blasting buildings, but moved on to going after people pretty quickly. Luckily, there were Azorius and Boros forces on station, so they were able to subdue her with no fatalities. And to belatedly offer some introductions, I’m Jace Beleren, Guildpact of Ravnica. Given that working out the legalities for Indigo’s trial involved extraplanar matters, it was determined that I was the logical person to handle it. This is Lavinia, my aide, and the one holding Indigo is Arrestor Calian.”

“Well,” said Sunset, “guess I had better get Lyra. She's the closest thing we have to an expert on multidimensional legal codes. Then we can go speak to… I guess the president, or maybe the Supreme Court? This is going to take a while.”

“Justice always does,” said Lavinia calmly.

Card of the Short

Indigo, Jealous God 1BR
Planeswalker — Indigo
+1: You may sacrifice a creature. If you do, put a number of loyalty counters on Indigo, Jealous God equal to that creature's toughness.
-2: Gain control of target creature until end of turn. Untap that creature. It gains haste until end of turn.
-X: Indigo deals X damage divided as you choose among any number of target creatures and/or players.
3

Plight of the Xenophile, by FoME and Masterweaver

(FoME)

"Hello, Dr. Anxiety." Twilight settled herself onto the couch and smiled at her therapist.

"Good afternoon, Twilight," said Deep Anxiety, Psy.D., much as she had before her metamorphosis. She might have been probing Twilight's psychological weaknesses before Chrysalis was deposed, but she was still a darn good therapist.

Besides, both knew that Ponyville needed all the mental health professionals it could get.

"I wanted to discuss the human world this week."

Dr. Anxiety took a notepad and quill in her magic "Very well."

"Specifically, certain..." Twilight bit her lip and fidgeted. "Certain romantic concerns."

"Certainly. Honestly, I'm surprised we don't discuss such matters more often. A mind that's normally a one-point-five on the Linseed intensity axis suddenly thrust in the body and brain of a glorified bonobo?" Dr. Anxiety shook her head. "That sort of thing would throw anypony off-balance. So, what brought this up?"

"This... may sound strange."

Deep smiled and looked over her glasses. "Twilight, I'm Ponyville's resident psychologist, I metabolize emotional energy, and I look like I sprang out of a melting box of crayons. Trust me, whatever it is, I've heard stranger."

"It's just... I don't understand why I never seem to feel this way about ponies."

"As I said, you just don't feel romantic and sexual attraction very strongly, and there's nothing wrong with that. You're the Princess of Friendship, after all."

"But even when I was a unicorn..." Twilight shook her head. "Well, when I was a unicorn, I either had my muzzle stuck in a book or was just trying to figure out how friendship worked. I definitely wasn't ready for anything more. But then Sunset took my crown, I went through the mirror, and..." She trailed off.

"You found yourself drowning in ape hormones," said Dr. Anxiety. "Take it from a shapeshifter, the mind is the plaything of the body. That first shift is always a doozy, especially such a dramatic one."

"I know, I know. We've been over this. And for so long, the sensations I felt while human seemed like something out of a dream on this side of the mirror. But now... Now I think I've actually found the one." Twilight sighed. "And she's taken. And in another universe."

"Ah." Dr. Anxiety refilled the quill and set it to scratching on the notepad once more. "You know, I suspected there might something between you and Sunset."

Twilight looked away. "Um, actually, not Sunset."

"Really? Well, I'm not entirely certain how well the qualities carry over between the two worlds, but I would think that you could at least try to court the lucky human's pony equivalent."

"That's not really an option," said Twilight, her growing blush making her change colors like the dawn sky.

Dr. Anxiety considered this. "One of the princesses?"

"Yes." Twilight brought a hoof to her chest. "Specifically this princess."

"... I see."

"She's just so brilliant!" Twilight cried, her eyes tearing up. "I finally see why Rarity kept saying I was pretty even back before I ascended! And she's so obviously happy with Sunset!"

Deep sighed and got out a box of tissues. She had a feeling they'd be seeing a lot of use.


(Masterweaver)

Sweetie stared at the three girls talking. "...Well. Huh."

"What?" Scootaloo looked between her and the girls. "Oh. Let me guess, crazy future vision you didn't expect?"

"Mmmyeah."

Apple Bloom shrugged. "You gotta expect that with them. I mean, Sunset's pretty high on the totem pole these days, the pony Twi's a princess, and all three are certified and certifiable geniuses. Anythin' they talk 'bout is probably—"

"No, it's not like that. It's..." Sweetie paused.

"It's what?" Scootaloo asked.

"Well, uh... if certain things happen in certain ways, then Sunset is going to have a very... interesting wedding."

"It's gonna be interestin' anyway," Apple Bloom pointed out.

"No, I mean... VERY interesting." Sweetie coughed. "Six rings interesting."

"Oh." Scootaloo considered those words. "OH! Hmm. Well. Gee. I... hmm."

"...I'm a mite conflicted," Apple Bloom admitted. "It's their life, and Ah guess it could work out—"

"Yeah, they're not at that stage yet," Sweetie Belle agreed. "Some work's going to have to be done, but I think the close interactions will help a lot—"

"It's more 'I'm personally uncomfortable with this' kind of conflict then 'it ain't gonna work' conflict."

Scootaloo rolled her eyes. "Your thing's the past, Bloom. Not saying it ain't useful, but I think this is more a collab between me and Sweetie."

"Right. Right. Ah'll just work on figurin' out those lost caves in Neighvada fer the moment."

"We don't have to talk about it while you're here," Sweetie Belle allowed.

"Nah, nah. It's happened before, it'll happen again. Best Ah get used to the idea."

Scootaloo shrugged. "Wouldn't work for me either, but those three? Yeah sure." She turned to Sweetie Belle. "So, what things need to happen, and when do you need them?"

Author's Notes:

All three Crusaders do have some degree of connection with each phase of time, but Apple Bloom sitting this one out is probably advisable. Otherwise, going by paracosmic sympathy, her brother might end up getting involved.

Counsel of Harmony, by Masterweaver

"Soooo..." Applejack drawled as they filed into the music room. "What's this about, Sunset?"

"I got a rather personal prayer but I need a local view before I act."

The others glanced between each other, before Twilight eventually sighed. "Alright, I'll be the one that says it: we need more detail."

"Okay." Sunset took a breath. "Oooookay. Um. Somebody moved away from their home and, after a few stumbles, made a new life and a new identity, they've been very successful, but somebody from their old life has shown up and is using... money and politics to block something they have been working their whole life toward, so they asked me for a shortcut."

"That doesn't explain why you need a local view," Rarity pointed out. "What's this shortcut that they requested?"

"They, uh... they asked me for a transition treatment."

Fluttershy blinked. "Oh. Ooooooh. FtM or MtF?"

"Male to female. It's not a question of whether I can do it—people here have already made the spells—or even whether I should help. It's more... should I directly transform her, or arrange for the guy blocking her to be arrested, or have a mysterious opportunity or what?"

"So you're going to help, but you're not sure how to help her." Pinkie nodded. "Yeah, I can relate to that. A lot of people at this school are just flat out weird."

The other girls stared at her.

"Excuse me," she said sternly, "but I think you'll find my weirdness is variable, not flat."

Rainbow held up a finger, paused, and lowered it. "I... can't actually argue with that. Anyway... From what I'm hearing, this girl worked herself out of a bad situation through hard work and tough choices, right?"

"Yeah, basically."

"So she's not exactly going to be happy being handed a win. I mean she'll appreciate it, sure, but it won't feel earned. On the other hand, this is a thing that's pretty personal to her, and she won't exactly like a 'You've got to handle this on your own' message cause it feels like God herself is saying she doesn't have her back."

"Wow. That's not very helpful."

"Actually, it is," Twilight mused. "You shouldn't give her a win, but you should give her a way to win."

Sunset tilted her head. "What?"

"In this specific instance, she's reaching out for support, not for a quick fix. At least, that's what I think is happening here. It would be more useful if I had an actual recording of the prayer in question, but I understand you keeping it private..."

"Tell me, darling," Rarity mused, "did this poor girl emphasize her want to be herself, or her desperation at being stopped?"

Sunset frowned, shutting her eyes. "...the latter."

"Then I think I'm in agreement with Twilight and Rainbow on this. She wants the crown, but she also wants to make sure it can't be stolen; I'd offer her a sword to slay the monster and gain the crown she's been working for, rather then a crown of your own making. Metaphorically speaking, of course."

"Yeah, encouragin' actual murder ain't actually something I'd suggest," Applejack deadpanned. "I'm... not sure I quite agree here. We're all assumin' she'll rise to tha occasion, and she might... or she might try her hardest and fail."

"Well, that's an easy fix," Pinkie chirped. "Let her go on whatever quest she need to defeat Mister mManie, and if she does actually hit an irrevocable failure you manifest as a literal deus ex machina, praise her for making it that far, and give her what she needs to finish it."

"That... actually could work," Sunset mused. "It's a little cliche, but—"

"HOLD UP!"

Everyone blinked, slowly turning to look at Fluttershy.

"This is... this is somebody's life we're talking about! Their core of being! It's not a play, it's not a story, it's... it's somebody, out there, in a desperate situation! For all we know this is somebody that we've actually met! We can't just... decide this, we can't just—"

"Fluttershy." Sunset took a breath and let it out. "I am taking this seriously. The thing is though... A lot of people ask me for help every day. I don't like it. And I don't do anything about the lower 'gee, I want it to be sunny' or 'I hope I can make it to work on time' kind of things. But... this is different. The kind of people I do help, they aren't just asking for my assistance. They're surrendering their fate to me, even if only for a time."

Fluttershy stared at her. "That.... that's insane."

"I know. And I get things like this every day." Sunset chuckled dryly. "Well, not involving transgenderism, but desperation? Outside forces? The last beacon of hope being the bacon horse? There are twelve billion sophants on earth alone, and even if I only got one out of a billion every week, that would still be twelve per week. I don't talk about it, I... I don't want to unload that on you all, but..."
She sighed. "The point is, this person, I have to give her a solution that fits her, specifically. And in this specific instance, a quest is a good idea. In another, I might just transform somebody and be done with it. Or transport them to another country. Or... do nothing, because anything I did would make the situation worse."

"...I didn't..." Fluttershy gulped. "I didn't realize. I mean, I knew you were different now, but..."

Sunset held her gaze for a moment. "What do you think I should do? In this instance, I mean."

The yellow girl steadied herself. "...Balance. She has been unbalanced, and she needs to find balance again. If you can grant her that... then I'll support you."

"...That is simultaneously incredibly helpful and frustratingly vague." Sunset sighed. "Okay. I think I know what to do now. Do you... want me to tell you all how it turns out?"

Rainbow shook her head. "Nah. Like Shy said, this is somebody real. She let you into her life for this; we're not going to be, uh, what's the word Rarity?"

"Voyeurs?"

"Yeah, void ears."

Twilight crossed her arms. "You're doing that deliberately."

"Doing what?"

"Mispronouncing a word in a humorous attempt to break the tension."

"Hmm," Pinkie mused. "Well, it is working. Not what I would have done, but to each their own."

Applejack chuckled. "Still. Point's been made, I think. Not quite comfortable with this, but I guess it might be the best, and no," she added when Sunset opened her mouth, "I ain't gonna ask how things went neither. I'm a random stranger to her, she deserves ta celebrate or commiserate with her friends."

Fluttershy sagged against a wall. "I... I'm just... I'm amazed this is my life now..."

Author's Notes:

This is far from the last time these seven will have a discussion along these lines.

O Bacon Horse, smile upon us, and with Your First-Blessed guide us to our most harmonious and auspicious fa— Ow!

Knock it off.

Fine, fine.

Counsel 2: Obstetric Boogaloo, by Masterweaver

"... So why did you need a local view?"

"Huh?"

"That thing you talked to us about in the music room," Twilight clarified. "Why'd you need a local view? I mean, it seemed pretty clean cut, all things considered..."

Sunset chuckled awkwardly. "Um... well... it was the transgenderism angle. That's not actually... common in Equestria."

Twilight blinked. "It's... not?"

"No. You remember how I said sex change spells were supposed to be impossible, back when this all began?"

"...Kind of, yeah."

"Well, it's because... equestrian magic is based on harmonic resonance. And ponies are incredibly magical, to the point it affects development prior to birth."

Twilight blinked. "I'm... not sure what you're saying."

"From a genetic standpoint, ponies are actually sexless."

"...what? How does—wait. Let me guess, there's some magical thing that happens in the womb."

"Yeah. Fetal ponies actually start out with traits from all the tribes—enhanced musculature, wings, a horn—but past a certain point maintaining all those structures is a health risk. So the developing soul of a pony infant sort of... reabsorbs the extra material. Pegasi actually have fewer ribs then other ponies, unicorns have a less extensive magivascular system, and because earth ponies got rid of their extra bits they don't need to burn the muscles for fuel."

Twilight tapped her chin. "Okay, I can... see how that would allow for the range of physiological distinctions in the pony species. And... the soul affects the physical sex of the pony?"

"Only in the late game," Sunset replied. "Like a month or two before birth. Still, for ponies the idea of being born in the 'wrong body' is kind of strange to consider, given that our bodies are literally affected by our souls in utero. It happens, but it's only been recognized recently, medically speaking, and our research into the subject is... kind of hampered by the assumption that it's a fetal aberration, not something that can develop in adulthood."

"And here some people think the pony world is perfect," Twilight deadpanned. "What do you mean by fetal aberration, anyway?"

"Basically, sometimes the developing soul interfaces differently with the magical systems and the biological systems. Scootaloo's counterpart, for instance, is a pegasus pony, buuuut she was born with both pegasus and earth pony magic--if she had been born just three decades earlier, the conflicting magics would have put a strain on her system and she would have been doomed to a slow, withering death." Sunset sighed. "Nowadays the magics can be artificially balanced, but it has some side effects—her hydrorepulsion aura is too weak to interact with uncondensed water vapor, so even though she has really strong wings she's incapable of outright flight."

"And that affects tribe, but not gender." Twilight tapped her chin. "So pony research into gender mechanics is something that hasn't been addressed because gender is secondary to tribe in most medical instances, and the societal concern of genders are not as emphasized as a result?"

"It's so much of a non-issue that nopony even realizes it could be an issue. Right up until somepony brings it up." Sunset shrugged. "Here, though, there are genetic differences between sexes, and gender culture is... an increasingly tangled mess of tradition, variation, and prejudice. I wasn't confident that I had the mental equipment to handle all the implications."

"Don't worry, Sunset. I'm sure you'll get the hang of it as you go." Twilight patted her shoulder. "You certainly reacted better then the first time I heard about transgender people."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Crystal Prep still has the... explosion scars." Twilight winced. "In retrospect, I should not have attempted to use chemistry to research sociology."

Author's Notes:

Broken off of the previous chapter since this one's mostly headcanon that I don't share or wish to incorporate into the setting, but still find fascinating.

Notice of Absence, by FoME

Cobalt Bolt was a simple man. He liked his beer cold, his movies high in explosions, and his daughter within the known universe.

He didn't realize just how much he appreciated that last one until the moment he found out it was no longer true. "So," he said slowly, barely seeing the girl in front of him, "you're saying that even you don't know where she is?"

Sunset Shimmer shook her head. "I really wish I had better news for you, sir. I can say for certain that Indigo was still alive when she broke the space barrier. I have the best people in this universe or any other looking for her."

Cobalt took a deep breath and ran a hand through his namesake hair. "I'll be honest, Miss Shimmer, there's a part of me that really wants to punch you right now. You or Abacus Cinch."

Sunset bit her lip. "I can't say I blame you. I assure you, the moment they get in touch with me, I'll tell you whatever I can."

"Thank you for that, at least."


Lyra Heartstrings sighed as she surveyed the bleak landscape through the visor of her mint-green hazardous condition suit. Normally, her magic could let her survive in just about any environment, but the magic-starved wasteland around her would've dissipated her usual wards in less than a minute, followed by the rest of her. Still, there was a chance that the missing person had landed on one of Starlight Glimmer's cast-off worldlines, and Lyra had drawn the short straw. Plus, her on-board thaumometer was picking up something, which shouldn't have been possible here.

Her steady gait brought her to a chunk of wind-eroded rock. Moving to the lee of the wind, she spotted the telltale facets of harmony crystal, faintly glimmering with residual magic. She sighed. "Just another echo of the Cutie Map."

Then Lyra's gaze turned to what was on top of the table. Scorched into the crystal was a very familiar cutie mark. One that definitely didn't belong to Indigo Zap.

"Oh. Wonderful. A demon Sunset's loose. Because I didn't have enough paperwork."

It should be noted that life in the Equestrian Time-Space Administration Bureau can have a jading effect on its operatives.

Two Pink Girls Yelling at Each Other, by Masterweaver

"PINKIE PIE!"

"LEMON ZEST!"

"I HAVE A CRAZY IDEA!"

"I WANT TO HEAR THIS CRAZY IDEA!"

"BREAD SHOES!"

"BREAD SHOES?!"

"BREAD BAKED INTO THE SHAPE OF SHOES! AND PEOPLE CAN WEAR THEM!"

"THAT'S POINTLESS AND DISGUSTING!"

"I KNOW RIGHT?!"

"I HAVE A BETTER IDEA!"

"YEAH?!"

"BREAD BRACELETS!"

"WOULDN'T THOSE JUST BE BAGELS?"

"I MEAN YEAH, WE'D HAVE TO MARKET THEM DIFFERENTLY, BUT IF WE DID IT RIGHT IT SHOULD WORK!"

"YOU KNOW WHAT?! LET'S DO IT!"

"YEAH! BUT WE SHOULD PROBABLY TALK SOMEWHERE ELSE! ALL THIS CONSTRUCTION IS WAY TOO LOUD!"

"YEAH WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?!"

"THEY'RE BUILDING A NEW WING FOR EQUESTRIAN EXCHANGE STUDENTS, SHOULD START COMING IN OVER THE SUMMER!"

"OH NEAT! THAT EXPLAINS THAT COMPLICATED DOOHICKY OVER THERE!"

"YEAH, THAT'S THE EQUESTRIAN MORPHIC APPLICATOR! IT'S BASED OFF LYRA'S TORQUE!

"OH YEAH, SHE'S THE GIRL THAT'S SECRETLY A UNICORN RIGHT?!"

"ABSOLUTELY! AND THAT IS A RARE SENTENCE!"

"HEY, YOU THINK WE COULD HOTWIRE ONE OF THOSE CONSTRUCTION VEHICLES AND TAKE IT FOR A JOYRIDE?!"

"COULD, YES! SHOULD, ABSOLUTELY NOT! AT LEAST NOT WITHOUT SUPERVISION!"

"WHY DON'T WE WAIT TILL THEIR WORK SHIFT'S NEARLY OVER AND ASK THEN?!"

"OH MY GOD! I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT! PATIENCE MIGHT WELL BE THE BEST SOLUTION!"

"YOU DON'T HAVE MUCH PATIENCE HUH?!"

"IT'S MY CURSE!"

Author's Notes:

This chapter was named as it was by the author's request.

Second Look, by Masterweaver

Your name is Second Person. Your parents weren't exactly the most creative when it came to names—your older brother is named First Person, for crying out loud—and they aren't actually the most supportive either; for the longest time they expected you to turn out just like their other kid, who (let's be honest here) was a musclebound egotist of the highest caliber. It was always one of those 'We love you but you should be better' situations with them. And it only got worse when you were enrolled in Crystal Prep.
But even in the darkest of times, there can be a shining light. And for you, that light was Sour Sweet, a girl with her own issues, to be sure, but one who accepted you without question because you accepted her without question. Well, aside from how you should help during her schizophrenic episodes. That was an awkward but enlightening conversation, and you two grew closer because of it. You've even considered starting a long-term engagement with her; sure, it's unusual at your age, but you figured it might be worth it.

Oh, and then magic happened. Like, literally, you-have-a-gem-in-your-forehead kind of magic, and Sour Sweet can fly on a bow made of light. She seems to give you odd looks on occasion—well, your gem, anyway—but you figure that's just because she's not used to the world changing in a way that everyone can recognize. And she did kind of save your life during the Friendship Games.

Or... your mind, anyway. Principal Cinch really went crazy.

The point is, the world is different, but also kind of the same; people still have the various needs and wants they've always had, they just have new tools for working toward fulfilling them. And that can sometimes lead to odd situations.

Granted, your classes being rescheduled so you share them all with your girlfriend isn't exactly the result of magic. From what you understand, that's more the result of Lemon Zest exploiting Dean Cadance's latent shipping craze and Principal Cinch's newfound guilt complex as a favor to Sour. You are... sort of grateful to Lemon for that, but she's kind of too exuberant for you to be comfortable around her. Also she has this look whenever she sees you two. It's like she expects you to strip and start, uh, getting it on, just so she can watch.

Or maybe it's just you. Sour's never seen it.

Anyway, today began in a very interesting manner. Namely, Sour walked up to you and shoved her pills into your hand. "Don't give these to me unless I absolutely need them."

"Um," you said intelligently.

"I'm experimenting with a new treatment." She tapped the crystal hanging from her neck with a small grin. "Professor Laurel gave me this yesterday. It's supposed to help with my symptoms, and... it is."

"Oh," you said. "Really?"

"Yeah, I'm not feeling nearly as bitchy as I usually do. And there don't seem to be any side effects... yet." She shrugged. "This is kind of experimental though. So, just in case, you know my dosage, right?"

"Yep. And even if I didn't, it's right on the canister." You put it carefully in your coat pocket. "So... is this some sort of magic thing?"

"Well, duh." Sour Sweet rolled her eyes, but there was a faint smile on her lips. "If this works, it could revolutionize modern medicine! I think. Even if it doesn't, it's a data point. You know how it goes."

You nodded, not really understanding, but she seemed confident enough. And you were there in case anything went wrong. Being the gentleman that you are, you held out your arm. "Shall I escort you to class, fair maiden?"

She giggled, hooking her elbow into yours. "Oh, Second, you of all people should know that neither of those words applies to me."

Of course, that has been four and a half hours ago. And for the most part, Sour had seemed okay. But even as you wandered through the school with her, you noticed her eyes getting more... unfocused wouldn't be the right word. Twitchy? She could still see the world around her; she just also seemed to notice other things.

The bell rings, signalling the end of class, and you decide to step up to her quietly. "Sour?"

"Yeah, Second?"

"How's the... how's the crystal working?"

Sour Sweet sighs happily. "Like a dream."

You give her an awkward smile. "That sounds good. But um... are you sure you're okay?"

She gives you a wry smirk. "What, you think I'm becoming addicted to happiness?"

"...Maybe a little."

"No, it's not like that. I mean, I feel anger and sadness but it isn't... overwhelming like it usually is. The crystal is drawing me closer to genuine joy; when I have my swing, it's not as far arcing, in either direction."

You nod, as though you understand. "So, you're not becoming blinded by pure optimism?"

"Nope! It goes both ways. My lows are higher and my highs are lower."

"Oh. I guess that's good."

"It's better then my pills, that's for sure."

"Well, so long as you aren't having problems."

"Of course!" Sour chuckles, gesturing toward thin air. "I have to set a good example for Bitter Honey, don't I?"

You wince.

"...Sour." You take her hand gently. "You know where you are, right?"

"Of course! I'm at Crystal Prep."

"And you're a student here."

"Yes, obviously. Second, what are you going on about?"

You swallow. "And you're... too young to have a child."

Sour Sweet's eyes refocus slightly.

She sighs. "...It's only been her. Not the spiders, just... her. We were having fun."

"I know, Sour, but you told me—"

"I did." She glances at empty space, saddened. "...Can I keep her around for the rest of the day?"

You bite your lip, glancing from your pocket to the jewel around her neck. "...If she doesn't cause any problems."

She looks at you and smiles.

"And you have to take your pills tomorrow."

Her smile fades, slightly. "I... I guess that's fair..."

Author's Notes:

Crystal aspect psychoactive projection can have some more constructive uses than, say, bending a student body to your will.

Le Geek, C'est Chic, by Masterweaver

"IT'S BEEN TWO HUNDRED CHAPTERS!" Twilight shouted at the screen. "JUST FREAKING KISS ALREADY!"

After a moment, she blinked, looking around with a blush. "Aheh."

Rarity smiled faintly. "I'm glad I'm not the only one that gets caught up in romantic fiction."

"It's not romantic! It's fanfiction!"

"Is there a romance?"

"Well, yes, but—"

"Is it a critical part of the core plot?"

"I mean, I guess it is, but—"

"Then it's romantic fiction," Rarity said with the finality of the infinitely certain.

"She'd know," Sunset pointed out with a grin.

Twilight rubbed the back of her head. "It's not just a romance," she protested faintly. "It's a Mass Distortion/Last Airtwister crossover with a lot of setting detail on how a quasimagical setting and the science fiction could fit together and—"

"Neeeeeerd," Rainbow Dash drawled.

"Hey! I'd like to think I'm a geek these days!"

"Oh yeah? What's the difference?"

"Nerds are experts in their fields because they are socially challenged and feel no need to go outside that paradigm. Geeks are experts in their fields because, well, they love those fields." Twilight smirked evilly. "In fact, you'd be a sports geek."

"Hey!"

"You know the rules to ten different sports and invented a new one," Sunset pointed out.

"...I mean, sure, but that's just cause I'm an athlete." Rainbow looked around at the disbelieving stares. "What? It's true!"

"Sports geek," Twilight singsonged.

"You know by that metric Rarity's a fashion geek," Pinkie pointed out. "And Fluttershy's an animal geek, and Maud's a rock geek, and I'm a party geek, and Applejack... uh. Hmm. I want to say farming geek, but she doesn't seem to geek out about farming. It's just life for her."

"Brickos."

Pinkie blinked, turning to Applejack. "Er... what?"

"Brickos," she repeated. "I know every set that's been sold in the past five years, bought a good half of them, and..." She coughed into her fist. "I maaaay kinda have a whole cellar tah mahself."

"Oh. Wow. Brickos." Pinkie paused. "...So what are your thoughts on GigaBloks?"

"They are a blight upon tha world!"

"She's tried to convince me to melt them all," Sunset deadpanned.

"I'm tellin' ya, Sunset, you'd be doin' everyone a favor!"

Twilight gave a small snort. "Do you know how crazy you sound right now?"

"About as crazy as tha chick who yelled at a screen cause her ship was takin' too long?"

The purple girl's blush returned with a vengeance. "I mean... two hundred chapters. It's ridiculous, right?"

"Well, if you want a kiss," Sunset purred, "why not just do it yourself?"

"....you mean write my own shipfic?"

Sunset frowned.

Twilight gave her a sly smirk. "Or did you mean this?" She grabbed her chin and dragged her in.

Sunset wordlessly confirmed that, yes, that was exactly what she meant.

Author's Notes:

Technically, they're BRICKO® construction blocks, but not even AJ is a big enough geek to call them that.

In any case, I feel like it's cheating, what with each little snippet getting its own chapter, but hey, two hundred snippets ain't that shabby. :pinkiehappy:

Reader Response Gap, by FoME

Sunset answered her doorbell with her brow already furrowed. Scrying helped a lot with unexpected guests, including ones bearing scowls and paper grocery bags. "Shining Armor? What are you doing here?"

With great solemnity, he said, "Darmok and Jalad."

"What?"

"Exactly. May I come in?"

Sunset hesitated for only a moment, still trying to parse the nonsense. "Sure."

"Thank you." Shining strode in, taking the sparse decor with a grim intensity Sunset hadn't seen since the last time Rarity had looked at plaid. "Right now, part of me wants to play the intimidating big brother, but the rest knows how that's not going to turn out well."

"Honestly, you're doing a pretty good job."

"You may not want to tell Dad that. Last time he mentioned buying a shotgun, I couldn't tell if he was joking."

"So!" Sunset forced a smile. "Other than implicit threats of buckshot in my face, what brings you to my humble abode?"

"There it is." Shining moved to Sunset's laptop, currently resting on her coffee table. "I may not be Cadence, but I can tell that you're not just Twilight's high school sweetheart. Unless one of you manages to really mess this up, you're going to be my sister-in-law, and that means that I need to make sure you can handle becoming part of our family."

"How do you mean?"

Shining set down the bag and began pulling things out of it. "Darmok and Jalad."

Sunset lingered behind him. "I still don't know what that means."

"Who shot first?"

"Between Darmok and Jalad?"

"Is it secret?" Shining whirled and grabbed Sunset by the shoulders. "Is it safe?"

"The fact that one of those people shot the other? Shining, what are you talking about?"

Shining gave a grim nod. "It's exactly as I feared."

Sunset blinked. "What?"

"Your friends have done their best, but you will be marrying into a family of nerds."

"I think Twilight would dispute your word choice there."

Shining rolled his eyes. "The point is that if you're going to have any chance of being accepted, you have some homework to do." He moved to the side, letting Sunset get a better view of the DVD cases now sitting next to her computer.

She levitated them and had them orbit her, letting her take in all of them. "Space Trek? The Force Wars? The Jewelry Master?"

"Trust me on this one, Sunset. My mother is never going to consider you a daughter if you aren't at least somewhat familiar with these series. The Tambelon 5 discs are still in the mail, but I figured I'd waited long enough to get you started."

"Uh, I guess I should thank you?"

Shining nodded. "Trust me, you will."

Author's Notes:

"Technically, you should read the books for Jewelry Master," added Shining, "but even I haven't. I can never get past Elderest Bombast."

How Bacon Horse Saved Yuletide, by Ultra-the-HedgeToaster

“I... I'm sorry.” Sunset Shimmer massaged her temples for third time in the past five subjective minutes. “It's just... I've had a really bad day. Been having. Still am having.” Sunset sighed. “I guess I was just hoping to spend this special day with my friends and finally get some rest... and then just saw someone threatening the continued existence of reality again, and just... reacted. I, uhm... sorry.”
The de-facto deity rubbed her arms awkwardly, unconsciously balling her hands into fists.

“Look, I appreciate what you're doing. Really, I do. It's wonderful! But this...” She gestured at the snowflakes hanging frozen in mid-air all around them. “This is endangering the fabric of space-time, and I think you'll agree total event collapse would be the worst present ever.”

The old man seemed crestfallen, and Sunset just couldn't help but wince at the sight. There was just something... fundamentally wrong about this man being sad. That, and Pinkie would never forgive her if she didn't fix this.

For now, she wasn't even gonna bring up the whole worldwide mind-reading thing to find out what the children wanted. It brought up the truly bizarre image of him as a male changeling Queen – wearing antlers for some reason – and that was just too weird.

“Look, uhm, Holly, tell you what; you take a break, and I'm gonna look into this right now. I'm sure there's some way you can deliver the right presents to all the children in the world that doesn't involve straining physics to the breaking point.”

~

Five minutes later—which meant nothing much in terms of subjective time—Sunset returned, only to find Old Hollyhock laughing merrily, and an excited pink-skinned girl sitting in his lap babbling a million words a minute.

Even with her reflexes, Sunset had only just enough time to take in the scene before a truly hyper Pinkie Pie jumped straight into her face.

“OhmygoshSunsetHe'srealHe'srealHe'srealHe'realHe'sreal!Ohmygoshohmysoghhsssossbhjbldfnn” And then Pinkie Pie fainted.
Sunset blinked. A quick spell confirmed Pinkie Pie was in perfect health, merely in shock. Sunset carefully deposited the unconscious girl on a nearby sofa.

“Okay, that's... wow. Uhm. So, that happened.”

~

“So, Holly, I think you might get away with it this year, if you take it slowly. That means only slowing down time by a factor of fifty thousand, nothing more. And I should come with you to make sure the friction doesn't cause the air to superheat and ignite the atmosphere. I haven't figured out a long term solution yet, but I'm sure we can—”

Sunset was cut off by a pink missile launching itself at her.

“Sunset Shimmer,” the now fully alert and indeed very conscious Pinkie Pie spoke in a tone so uncharacteristically level and firm, it left no room for any argument at her next statement of fact:

“I am coming with you.”

Author's Notes:

And now you know who was putting coal in Sunset's stocking.

Tourism-Floored, by SaintAbsol

Sunset... really didn't know what to think.

It was a nice change, strangely.

Being the closest thing to omniscient as was possible for a physically incarnate goddess, her mind was usually filled with thoughts related to everything from the axis angles of planets, the entropy rate of stars and galaxies, to the interactions between various atomic and subatomic particle that scientists were still debating the existence of. To have her mind rendered blank was a wonderfully refreshing experience that she wasn't aware she had missed until now.

However, as wonderful as it felt, a blank mind wasn't doing much to address the problem at hand.

"I... this is a new experience," she finally said. "Even for me, which is saying something."

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry about this." The light-blue man adjusted the flight jacket he had found himself in since arriving here, then ran a hand through his dark-blue hair. Under the jacket, a white shirt could be seen, with the image of a stylized sun just barely visible on the breast pocket. A pair of black jeans rounded out the ensemble, a lightning bolt surrounded by two cloudy swirls stitched into it. "I... really shouldn't have tried to Planeswalk without someone more experienced around to assist me, especially when I was so close to other ponies."

"I just want to get back to my daughters," a pegasus aspect who looked like Ditzy said, picking at her torn clothing. Her out of sync eyes drifting down to her lower half, where a tattered green skirt only had one limb protruding from beneath it. "And any word on where my other leg got to? I'm going to need to get used to walking on two legs if we're staying here for a while."

"She'll find it," the man assured her, putting his hand on her shoulder. "Then, we'll get you back to your family." He glanced to another member of the group: a unicorn aspect who looked very similar to one Vinyl Scratch, albeit in clothing that would have been more at home in a steampunk convention. With a button up shirt and jacket that hugged her figure tightly, as well a miniskirt that seemed to have actual gears forming the eighth-note symbols on it. Her headgem glowed as she traced the glowing image of a treble clef in midair. "And we'll get you back to Octavia too."

Sunset sighed, rubbing at her temple. "Look, Mister..."

"Markov," he responded. "Soarin' Markov."

"Mister Markov; I'm sure that you didn't mean it, and really do want you all to get home... but I'm afraid I can't really do much to help you other than letting the proper people here know and have them direct you as best they can. I have enough things to worry about in this universe, trying to find ways between them isn't something I can focus on."

"It's alright," Soarin' replied. "I understand entirely. I just felt that, as the local deity, you should be informed of this."

"Yeah," Sunset absently nodded. "Be a lot less weird of most of you didn't look like people I knew."

Right on cue, and seemingly out of nowhere, a blue-skinned and rainbow-haired pegasus aspect alighted on the ground. Unlike the local Dash, though, this one wore what looked like a some sort of 'dress uniform', with a red jacket buttoned over a white shirt, and a pair of tight fitting pants. And, much to Sunset's concern, she carried an actual sword at her side; a short one, clearly meant for one hand, but a sword nonetheless. It was almost more disquieting than the leg she had brought with her.

"Here, I think I got it before anything started chewing on it." She handed the leg over to Ditzy, who proceeded to work on putting it back into her hip socket like it was the most normal thing in the world. Rainbow turned to glance back and forth between Sunset and Soarin'. "So, any idea what kind of time-table we're looking at here?"

Soarin' just shook his head. "Not yet, I'm afraid. But, we'll see how it plays out."

Sunset sighed, pulling her phone out and calling up Lyra's number. "I'm going to call up someone who can probably help you out, but I can't make any promises either. Just... try to not cause too much trouble while your here, okay? The universe has been battered enough."

Author's Notes:

I swear I had only indirect influence on Soarin's last name.

And yeah, this world is quickly becoming a major hub of parallel universe shenanigans. Good thing they have someone for that.

Night Dealings, by SaintAbsol

"Hey, Shining Armor?"

Shining looked up from the collection of DVDs that he was using as Sunset's indoct— er, education in the ways of geekdom. "Yeah, Sunset?"

"You keep bringing up how I need to have some sort of 'geekiness' to be a part of your family, and I'm willing to play along since that's what you do in a relationship... but, I have to wonder... aren't you and Dean Cadence in a relationship too?"

"Yeah, and?"

"Well, she doesn't really seem like the 'geek' type."

Shining raised an eyebrow at this. "... You really have no idea, do you?"


Far across town, Mi Amore Cadenza sat calmly in a dimly lit room in her best suit, hands folded together and her face hardened in a way that probably would have made Abacus Cinch proud. She gazed at the sharply dressed man across the table from her, who matched her nearly note for note; a tense silence was held between the two for several moments before he finally spoke. "Do you have my payment?"

"That depends," she responded. "Do you have what I asked for?"

The man simply reached down to the floor and picked up a small case. Placing it on the table, he pushed it toward Cadance before sitting back in his chair.

Carefully, Cadence undid the latch and looked inside. Her eyes widened by a fraction of a margin, before she closed the lid once again. "Very well then." She reached into her jacket's pocket, before withdrawing a fairly sizeable stack of money. "Your payment, at the agreed upon price."

The stack of cash was slid along the table into the man's waiting hand, something that might have been called a smile upon his face. "A pleasure as always," he said, standing up as Cadence did the same. "I trust you'll contact me if you require anything else."

"Of course," she replied, both turning away from each other and heading toward opposite exits to the room.

The latch was undone once more as Cadence walked outside, letting her gaze upon her prize with an almost manic grin. The object within probably held so little value to anyone else, but for her, it was worth every penny of the amount she had just handed over without hesitation. She found herself almost hesitant to touch it, even though it lay in a protective casing even within the box. "Finally," she said, gingerly grasping it at the corners, and holding it up to the light of day. "An Aleph Black Lotus."

Author's Notes:

As with many other MtG elements in this setting, I swear I had nothing to do with this one.

Caught Shipping, by SaintAbsol

Rarity politely chuckled as she walked alongside Rainbow Dash; the blue-skinned girl had just told something that was meant to be a joke, judging by how she had started laughing heartily after finishing. While Rarity didn't understand the joke, it was the ladylike thing to to humor others when in their company.

"Haha, Center Forward," Rainbow repeated to herself, taking a few breaths to calm herself down. A few people were staring at her, but she didn't pay them any mind, just glancing about at he shops as they headed through the downtown area. "So, that sale you mentioned..."

"Just up ahead," Rarity said, nodding toward a sporting goods store a few buildings down. While she was hardly on Rainbow's level of what Twilight continued to refer to as 'sports geekdom,' to say nothing of how utterly garish the outfits associated with it tended to be, but she still had an eye for sales. "It should be going on for another few days, and—" Rarity stopped as something moved at the corner of her eye, and she did a double take as her eyes widened.

Rainbow caught on a second later, looking back to the dumbstruck unicorn aspect. "Huh? Rarity, what's—" Rainbow was cut off as her head was telekinetically grabbed and turned to the side. "Hey, what are you—" Now it was her turn to stop and stare. "... AJ?!"

Applejack, standing at a little over a story tall, paused as she pulled a few pallets' worth of items out of the back of a trailer. "... Oh, howdy girls."

Rarity and Rainbow both shook their heads as they came back to their senses, with Dash speaking up first. "What are you doing here?"

Applejack sheepishly rubbed at the back of her head. "Well, remember back when I accidentally sat on that warehouse and was bein' sued fer it?"

"How could we forget?" Rarity grumbled. "That man was utterly detestable."

"Eeyup," AJ agreed, "but he also had a lot o' lawyers on his payroll. That there 'Gilded Arches' feller did his best, but he couldn't get me off the hook completely; gotta do some Community Service fer a few months." She turned back to the trailer, pulling out another pallet and carrying it over to the loading dock. "Anyway, have fun with whatever yer doin'. Ah gotta stay busy."

"Huh," Rainbow said, crossing her arms with a frown. "That sucks." She shook her head with a sigh, starting to walk away. "Anyway, we should... Rarity?" Rainbow glanced back, then raised one of her eyebrows as she found Rarity hadn't moved from her spot, but was, instead, watching the oversized farmer as she worked, a grin and a bit of a blush on her face as her eyelids lowered slightly. Slowly, a grin began to form on Rainbow's face as well, though this one was decidedly more devious.

Oh, she couldn't help but think, this is going to be fun~

Author's Notes:

What? I'm clearly referring to Applejack unloading cargo. What did you think I meant? :trollestia:

The Electromagnetic Face Covering, by ArtieStroke and Masterweaver

(ArtieStroke)

"Fire Guard!" Chronicler shouted, his biomechanical friend dumped unceremoniously to the floor. The red aura of fear visibly clung to his armor, only dissipating as Chronicler fell to his knees, hefting his friend's masked face into his arms.

"I was supposed to make the sacrifice," Chronicler said, his voice threatening tears. Fire Guard tried to laugh, but only managed a weak wheeze as his heart-light beat erratically.

"No, the Duty was mine," He managed to say, weakly grabbing the mask out of his satchel- that Spirit-damned masked that dragged him and his friend all across the island on a fool's quest- and now he was going to die.

But Fire Guard had one last thing to do, before he would let the Great Spirit cart him to the end of his Destiny.

"You know who you are, Chronicler," he said, weakly placing the mask in his friend's hands as is glowed to the touch.

"You were always.... different..."

As Fire Guard took his last breath, a wave of sorrow threatened to consume Chronicler. His friend... he wasn't even supposed to BE here! Chronicler only dragged him along because he was afraid of his Duty... and now he was gone.

Chronicler would not let his sacrifice be in vain.

He stood, turning to glare at the trio of the Shadow's sons as the Element Warriors tried to keep them at bay. They were struggling, Wild Fire's mask of shielding buckling under the sons' destructive powers.

With grim determination, Chronicler took the Mask of Light and placed it upon his face.

With a flash, the young Mechronical felt the power the mask contained flow inside him- changing him to suit his newfound Destiny.

Where once a mere villager stood, there was now a golden armored Elemental Warrior, shining brilliantly in the setting sun.

"I am Chronicler, the Warrior of Light!"


Applejack nodded, her eyes closed and friends gathered around her as they continued to watch the film.

"Gets me every time," she said, crying on the inside.

"I can't believe they made a movie out of a toy," Dash said, munching on a fistful of popcorn, "Seems like a total sellout thing to do."

Pinkie snorted back a giggle and ruffled Dash's hair. "Oh, ye of little faith, you know not what you say."

"I just can't get over how much Fire Guard sounds like my brother," Twilight said, as Sunset held her close.

"It is pretty uncanny," Sunset nodded.

"Please, everyone, pipe down during the dramatic moments," Rarity said. AJ nodded her wordless thanks as the teens continued their movie.

(Masterweaver)

"Well that was an interesting movie," Twilight mused. "It's a bit flawed on its own, but still decent. It feels like the mythos was watered down for younger audiences. I get the feeling a lot of this would make more sense if I followed the toyline?"

"Eeeyup."

"I liked the animals," Fluttershy mused. "I mean, I know I like all animals, but the way these were both machine and animal was interesting."

"That giant crab was... especially interesting," Rarity mused. "I'm not sure why, but I think I'd like one... in purple, though."

"And the animation quality was pretty impressive. Alright, I can see how—SWEET SCIENCE, PAUSE IT!!"

"Why?" Rainbow asked. "It's just the credits—"

"GO BACK GO BACK!"

Applejack blinked, rewinding. "Uh, what's got you in a knot, sugarcube?"

"It can't be. It just—Finemare's bongos, he did. He actually..." Twilight pulled out her phone, dialing rapidly.

Sunset glanced at the screen, blinked twice, and quirked an eyebrow. "Sokath, his eyes uncovered."

"Nerdspeak." Rainbow rolled her eyes. "Great."

"Hello? Hey BBBFF, question: WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU VOICED A ROBOT MIDGET?!"

Author's Notes:

Here's your context:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RXkMrcNOICY

And yes, that is Andrew Francis, Shining Armor's voice actor. I'm not saying he's held every role Mr. Francis has, but sharing others isn't outside the realm of possibility.

Lonely at the Top, by VoidKnight and FoME

(Void Knight)

The roof of Sunset’s warehouse had a spectacular view of the setting sun, and Twilight and Sunset were taking a rare opportunity to just cuddle up together and enjoy the view.

“You know what one of the worst things about being God is?” murmured Sunset in Twilight’s ear.

“How rarely we get to do this?” suggested Twilight, giving Sunset a squeeze.

“I was actually thinking of the fact that I don’t have anyone to trust in,” said Sunset. “Back before I came here, I had the Princess to look up to. No matter how scary things got, I knew that she was in charge, and so everything would turn out okay. Which, come to think of it, is probably part of why I went so… off my rocker… when I came over here. When you think that someone you trust that absolutely has betrayed you, it really upends your world. But the point is, now that’s me. I’m the one that everyone on the planet trusts to make sure that everything turns out right. But that means that if I make a mistake, there’s nobody who will fix it.” Sunset laughed bitterly. “The fate of the world in my hands, just like I wanted way back before the other Twilight smacked me down. They say to be careful what you wish for…”

(FoME)

"Sunset, you wound me." Both girls looked around for the source of the voice. It became clear when the setting sun opened its eyes. Mr. Discord hoisted himself out of it and, in an eye-watering twist of perspective not at all helped by doing it in front of the sun, placed himself a few feet in front of them. "Do you really think I would allow you to make some trivial error that would annihilate the universe?"

Sunset gave him a flat glare. "We're kind of having a moment here."

"Of course you are. Honestly, just being near you two makes my skin crawl these days." Mr. Discord pulled up a sleeve, revealing tiny mouths crying out "The harmony! The harmony!"

Both girls blanched. Purple magic tugged his sleeve back down. "Could you please never do that again, sir?" said Twilight.

Mr. Discord dipped his head in acknowledgement. "My apologies. Too much time around the sirens; Sonata finds that sort of thing amusing. And I meant no offense. It's an involuntary reaction to the warm fuzzies you two radiate." He ruffled Sunset's hair, making his hand smoke. "Rest assured, Sunset, you may not have anyone further up the totem pole, but you do still have someone else keeping an eye on the integrity of all things. I'll let you two get back to your evening together." He dropped out of view.

Sunset peeked over the edge. No sign of the man. "I... guess that was reassuring?"

"Honestly, I think his social skills have actually improved since the world changed."

"That's disturbing on several levels."

Author's Notes:

It is in the nature of Harmony to regulate itself. It even has a regulator for its regulator, who ironically does so by being inherently irregular.

Eclipse-Sworn Oath, by SaintAbsol

"Got a secret, can you keep it?" Sunshine Smiles sang, a serene smile on her face as her eyes became blacker than black. "Swear this one you'll save. Better lock it, in your pocket, taking this one to the grave~"

The unicorn aspect continued to walk around the fidgeting boy, that same smile on her face even as he started sweating. "If I show you, then I know you won't tell what I said. 'Cause two can keep a secret, if one of them is dead~" A barely heard melody faded away as Sunshine finished her song, still smiling brightly as her eyes returned to their normal lime-green. Smoothing her turquoise dress, she turned back to the boy and raised her eyebrow at him. "We have an understanding, then?"

"Y-yeah," he stuttered, gulping and sweating as his eyes darted around. Sunshine's smile did nothing to soothe him, especially when she leaned toward him. "I-I promise, I won't tell about this!"

"Good!" Sunshine replied, as chipper as ever, and held out a hand for him to shake. "Just one more thing to do~" She continued to smile, her hand waiting for the boy's.

Gulping audibly again, the boy gingerly took her hand, and almost cried out when their hands were both enveloped in darkness. It only lasted a moment though, and Sunshine was already pulling away by the time his mind had processed what had just happened.

"Remember, it's a secret~," she singsonged. "I'll know if you don't keep your promise~."

The boy nodded, taking a step back, then another, then he quickly turned and took off at a sprint, leaving the smiling girl in his wake.

Sunshine Smiles giggled as she turned away, happily skipping away herself, only to be stopped when she found another unicorn aspect in her way. "Oh! Hey sis~" Sunshine grabbed her older (by a few minutes) twin sister in a hug, while the blueish-grey girl just stood there. "What's up?"

"Was that really necessary?" Moonlight Raven asked, her voice a flat monotone that contrasted her sister's in much the same way everything about her did.

"I always hug my big sister~"

"That's not what I meant, and you know it." Moonlight looked past Sunshine, just barely able to see the boy still running away in fright. "You didn't have to do that to him."

"Oh, silly sis," Sunshine giggled, booping Moonlight on the nose. "Of course I did. I can't have Sunset showing up and ruining things for me." She... didn't stop smiling, but her eyes still seemed to narrow in a glare. "You remember your promise too, don't you?"

Moonlight simply raised an eyebrow. "I remember, Sunshine. I won't tell her what you're up to."

"Good!" Sunshine was already back to being traditionally happy, skipping along the sidewalk. "Lets go get some lunch, Sis. My treat!"

Moonlight watched her sister skip along for a moment, before fingering the copy of Sunset Shimmer's Icon in her pocket. I promised I wouldn't tell her what you were up to, Sunshine, she thought, but that's all I promised I wouldn't tell her.

Author's Notes:

For those unfamiliar with Exalted, breaking an oath sealed by an Eclipse Caste Solar Exalt results in the subtle retribution of the heavens at the worst possible time. Breaking one of Sunshine's is presumably a bit more... direct.

Making it Big, by SaintAbsol

Rarity groaned in frustration, slamming her magazine down on the lunch table. "Gods damn it!"

"I'd really rather not," Sunset said, taking a bite out of her meal.

Realizing that her outburst was a major faux pas when seated at the same table as God (even if you were one of her best friend), Rarity found herself blushing furiously. "I'm sorry, Sunset, I'm just a little frustrated at the moment."

"Over a magazine," Rainbow Dash questioned, an eyebrow raised. "Is this like Twilight and her nerdy—"

"Not nerd, geek!" Twilight interrupted.

"Whatever! That fanfic she spazzed out about and ended up making out with Sunset over?"

"Hardly," Rarity grumbled, glaring down at the pages before her, featuring several dresses and suits that had been designed by what the magazine described as 'up and coming talent'. "I've been trying to get my foot in the door of the fashion industry for years now and I thought I had a chance recently, when I almost got a chance to meet with Prima Donna herself." When this was meant with blank stares from all her friends, she sighed. "She's one of the largest private retailers of clothing in the country; she's my shot at the big time!" The fashionista slumped in her chair pushing the magazine away. "But, I can't compete with all these other retailers."

Fluttershy picked at the salad on her tray. "Um... why not?"

"I'm a small, privately owned boutique in a middling city," Rarity explained. "I simply don't have the funds to pull of some sort of publicity stunt. It's not enough to be good, you have to find some way to stand out. And short of asking Sunset to compromise her principles and put in a good word for me, I don't know how."

"Maybe we could hand out fliers," Pinkie said. "Ooh, or have a party to show them off, ooh, or—"

"It's a nice sentiment, dear, but it still wouldn't be enough. I've had plenty of local parties and, while it does help with my sales, it still isn't enough to get me noticed." Rarity sighed, resting her head on her arms despondently. "I need something... big."

Rainbow's fork paused halfway into her mouth, a mischievous smirk slowly spreading across it. "Something 'big', huh?" The rainbow-haired girl turned to look at the one person at their table that hadn't contributed anything to the conversation.

Applejack, pausing as she held an apple from her farm in her hand, looked at Rainbow, only for her eyes to widen in realization. "Oh no, no way. There is no way I—"

---------------

"I can't believe Ah got talked into this..."

"Oh, relax, Applejack, dear," Rarity said, making a few last minute alterations to the green dress her friend was wearing. "You look absolutely lovely."

A blush spread across the farmer's face, unnoticed by Rarity as she worked. "O-oh, thanks, I guess..."

"You're quite welcome," she replied, an equally unseen blush in place as she finished her work on the hem. "And thank you. As much as I'm loath to admit it, Rainbow Dash's plan might just be crazy enough to work. Or, at the very least, get them talking." She finished up, and took a breath to calm herself before standing up. "Now! I'm going to have a word with the camera crew; I want to make sure they capture your best side. You can start getting ready, just remember the tips I gave you."

Applejack sighed to herself as Rarity rushed away, climbing a ladder to a platform built of scaffolding. Really, if anyone else had asked her to do this, she would have refused like a broken record. But she just couldn't turn away Rarity when she turned on the social charms. "Damn it," she muttered under her breath, then touched the charm on her wrist.

The dress that Rarity had made to accent both her natural curves and toned physique scaled up with her as she grew, the colored mana infused as much into the fabric as it was in her. When she stood as tall as a nearby building, she turned to the platform and struck one of the modeling poses that Rarity had insisted she learn. "Okay, ready whenever you are."


One month later

Rarity practically squealed in delight as she looked at the same publication that had caused her so much frustration the previous month. It wasn't much, only a single image on a single page, but the image of Applejack, nearly one hundred feet tall and wearing one of her dress designs, was surely enough to get people talking at least.

You Asked For It, by FoME

It was a fairly common scene. A man was so intent on his destination that he didn't watch where he was going and stubbed his toe on a jutting chunk of sidewalk.

His response was also common, or at least had become so since the world changed: "Ow! Sunset dammit."

What followed was much less common, a sigh followed by a voice saying, "Really?"

Corner Office scowled at the girl, only to back up a step when he realized just who she was. "Uh..."

"I mean," said Sunset, "I like to think of myself as pretty laid back. I much prefer forgiving and redeeming to trapping someone in a place they can't escape from, without certain aspects of life they've taken for granted. Speaking from experience, the first one works out a lot better in the long run."

"Uh..."

"And then there's the logistics of it. Even if I had somewhere I could damn people to—heads up, I don't—what would go there? The sidewalk? The tree whose roots are pushing it up? You for ramming your foot into it? There just doesn't seem to be a viable damning target here."

Corner licked his lips and decided a third uh wasn't the best way to converse with a deity. "Sorry?"

"It's fine. I know you didn't mean it, it just gets frustrating after a while. Also, smile."

"Why?"

Sunset panned a hand across the street, where at least half a dozen youths were glancing back and forth between the two of them and assorted mobile devices. "Because we're probably already on at least two forms of social media."

"I have over fifty reblogs already!" added one boy.

The World Atlas Shrugged, by Paaaad and ArtieStroke

(Paaaad)

One evening, Sunset Shimmer appeared in Twilight's bedroom looking rather bedraggled, and promptly proceeded to flop down on the bed.

"Long day?"

"Apparently we've moved up from mythical figures to mythical locations."

"Wha— Oh. Oh my."

"It's still submerged, but it's actually there to find now. Pain in the neck easing it in, not to mention the water displacement."

"Well at least it's over now." Twilight paused, hand halfway to her girlfriend's shoulder, "Er, it is over, right?"

"For now, but I looked the planet over once I was done, and there are more magical patterns just like the one that preceded this one all over the place. Looks like the next one is going to be in the Irish Sea."

Twilight set her hand on Sunset's shoulder. "Well, it looks like we have some research to do... Tomorrow."

(ArtieStroke)

Later...

"So, if I believe REALLY HARD, then would you—"

"Rainbow Dash, for the LAST TIME I DO NOT WANT A FLOATING LOOKOUT, YOU ARE NOT A SUPER HAYAN, AND THIS IS NOT DRAGON PEARL X."

"Yeesh! Fine! Okay! Jeeze..."

Author's Notes:

Fortunately, such large entities need a lot of power and notoriety behind them to manifest. Kami's Lookout is definitely not on the list.

Add Cranberry Juice to Taste, by SaintAbsol

Author's Notes:

Here's a refresher on this particular bit of my personal headcanon that SaintAbsol applied. This may or may not be canon, but it isn't strictly invalidated by what's already in place.

"You're off your meds again, aren't you?"

Sour Sweet blinked, looking away from the empty playground she had been staring at as Sweeten Sour came to join her on the bench. Scowling at her sister, Sour defiantly turned away. "I'm fine, Sweeten."

"That's a 'Yes' then," Sweeten said with a quiet sigh. "You know Mom doesn't like you skipping."

Sour just scoffed at that. "Mom doesn't like a lot of things I do."

"It's also not healthy." That, Sour Sweet didn't have a counterargument to. "We both know how out of control your hallucinations can get, especially with magic involved."

"They're not out of control," she respond, clenching her fist. "I'm fine for the moment."

That just made Sweeten Sour sigh with a bit more force behind it, her posture sagging just a bit. "I know you like when Bitter Honey comes around, Sour, but you're treading dangerous waters when you do this."

Sour Sweet flinched, her eyes looking away from her imaginary daughter as she played about on the playground equipment. "I just... don't want her to go away for good."

"That might be a better outcome in the long run."

Sour Sweet rounded on her sister, their faces only inches apart; hers a mask of rage, while Sweeten Sour's was perfectly calm. "HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?!"

Not deterred in the slightest by Sour Sweet's outburst, Sweeten Sour calmly stood up from the bench, and cast her gaze outward to a swing that had just started to move on its own. "Because, Sour, I can see her too now."

Herding Rats, by Masterweaver

"Wheeeeeeeeeee!"

"Chitter-rach, get down from—!"

"Splip-ip-ip-ip!"

"Bitenaught, that is not a toy!"

"Ooo oo lookit lookit lookit!"

"Yes, Klikli, that is very nice looking, I'm sorry but I have to get some—OH ROOTS!"

Celestia leaned to the side as she entered the room, quirking an eyebrow as a tissue box went flying past her ear. "Having trouble?"

"You could say that," came the exasperated reply of the plum woman in the center of the room. "I don't know what's gotten into them, but—Slithert no, we do NOT bite tails!"

"But Sqeeekums started it!"

"I don't care who started it, Slithert, you don't bite people! Ever!" She threw up a hand, turning back to the principal. "I don't know..."

"Need some help?"

"Can you get them under control?"

Celestia smiled serenely, took a deep breath...

...and began to glow.

The chaos around the room slowly lessened, the various inhabitants staring in awe and slowly putting down whatever they had in their paws.

Celestia let her glow drop. "Now then. Everyone?"

"Yes, Miss Shineshineshine?"

"When I saved you from the mean scientist, I wanted you to have a nice happy life. And Miss Cheerilee here has volunteered to help you learn what you need to learn. Do you think you can be nice and try to do what she says?"

"But Miss Shineshineshine, Miss Words smells like grass! That's boring!"

Cheerilee balked. "This is about how I smell?!"

"Well, I'll make sure she smells more interesting later," Celestia promised. "For now, though, you should listen to her, okay?"

"Okay Miss Shineshineshine." The green rat nodded. "If you say so."

Cheerilee took a breath. "...Thanks, Celestia. I don't know if—"

"Uhp-uhp-uhp! You have a class to teach... Miss Words." With a little grin, Celestia walked out the door.

Author's Notes:

The thing about rescuing the creations of mad scientists is that you have to do something with them afterwards, and it's not like Skin Horse exists in this worldline.

Well, not yet, anyway.

A Conversation in Wavetongue, by Masterweaver

Author's Notes:

Note: The following is written in a constructed language. For a literal translation that demonstrates grammar and word construction, see here. For a practical translation to readable English, see here (which is directly after the previous link.)

"Glii shiisiichiri. Riieiimm su."

Aria quirked a brow. "Oosh ke si re riie Shupliipireii?" she inquired.

"Bii eemm bli eepl eebl siichiiri wepere ke yiyishumee bii riie Shupliipireii eetl eebl zhvpefii," Adagio replied. "Mmriz bli zhmmreii zhsi wee."

Sonata perked up. "Shoopemmruii gliim wee bo Sirenn?"

"Zhshoo gliim wee..." Adagio took a breath. "Mmreii. Kepere si.... Oobl glimm kepere si. Oopl glimm. Glimm, mmv gliim riie blu... bu Glimpyshriivch."

Aria rolled her eyes. "Shoo be zhii. Leey si yi gliimpeglimm shush bo zhleeyiish si eekeekleepleepleepl shupliieeblri yi eetl tliiru. Eech ke wee bi leyki, Mmoopirei? Zhirr ke kv zhke si roiimm Sirennri?"

"Ke wee bu zhke wee, Reipirenn, ru ke wee...." The yellow girl sighed. "Re heesh bli ru siiriiizh si bo leysupeshumee."

Silence filled the room for a moment or two.

"Siiriiizh shumee bo Zhuplireiischrii?" Sonata's voice wavered. "Blu... Mmoopirei, we gliim gliim leey leysi--"

"Gliim gliim leey leyki. Ke kv bi shuro Reiipivzheerv, bi zhmmrei wii." Aria shuddered. "Mmreei bli, bii mmrei ki shoopereiri, iih Shupliipirei?"

"Be mmrei bli. Iib ke ki boo chooru bli--"

"Eech kooiish Sirennri?" Adagio interjected. "Eepl shi bi wopesiiriiiish si, mmreei bli. Shoomm ree mmrieeiish Kiirrpigli bo si bi mmreei mmrurii bo shoopereiri. Ke Sirennri gliim gliim bo kiizh? Ru kooshiish shi, gliim bo reei zhbii rie shi bo Sirennri? Klii ke si bi zhmmrei si?"

The other two shared a look.

"Iir..." Sonata fidgeted. "Re riie si eekeekleepleepleepl shupliieebl yi tliiru. Iig... hooshiish ki hoo si boo chooru si... mmrei si ooch koosh siichiipereiiri oozh siichiipehooshrmri bo koosh leyshi."

Aria took a breath. "Mmrei ki," she said slowly, "iip mmrie si shoomm bee siirii Kiirrpigli wee bo ki... ru mmrih kv zhgii mmriv zi boo riie kv, mmreei blv."

"Iiz mmrie si bee mmrie Glipikiizh zi," Sonata pointed out. "Iiz mmrie si bee mmrie Reiipivzheerv bee mmrie Glipikiizh zi."
Adagio clenched her fists. "Klo shoogli wee. Bee mmrie shi sirii wee shoo bi shooru si..."

The room fell silent once again.

Eventually, Adagio sighed. "Iir mmrei bli roiish mmriieiish si. Iib heesh blu, boo kooiish koorii... yi ke shesh. Heesh bli shoorr ree heesh si, glipetliiruri yr bo eebl. Roo sheeshiich su. Iih?"

"Iih." Aria nodded, glanced around, and steadied herself. "Be shuplii mmriie si, rmm sheesh si."

"Ru leyshumee ke shuploo, be ke keiich shuplii," Sonata murmured.

Next Chapter: Not a Whimper, by FoME Estimated time remaining: 7 Hours, 34 Minutes
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