About one year after Saturation

Sweetie Belle sat on the couch, in the middle of writing a long text. She listened to her dad throwing his keys on the counter and grabbing a soda out of the fridge. Even when he started speaking to her, she didn't glance up from her phone.

“Hey, Sweetie, how was your field trip to Seven Flags?” he asked.

Tapping the back button on her phone, she answered, “We didn't go.”

“Really? Why not?” He strolled into the living room and plopped down next to her with his can floating in his blue aura.

Sweetie hit send and actually looked up from her phone, numbly gazing out the window. She gave it some thought before answering, “Snips ate our biology class.”

“Okay, I didn't hear you right. It sounded like you said Snips ate your class.”

“No, you heard right.”

Carefully, her dad grabbed his soda in his hand, not trusting his magic to hold it up. “That a euphemism for something?”

“I almost wish it was.” She set her phone in her lap and held her head in her hands. “So, the new biology teacher has this magic school bus, and she's still learning how to drive it, you know?”

Her dad didn't know, but he stayed quiet.

“It can do things no other bus can. But today she was only supposed to use it to drive us to Seven Flags. But she accidentally pulled the wrong lever or whatever and it made the bus shrink, and we landed in Snips's Cheezie Wheezies, because he just happened to be eating his lunch outside. And the bus must've looked close enough to a Cheezie Wheezie because he popped us into his mouth and swallowed us.” She shuddered. “I think Sunset Shimmer was watching over us just a little because I was sure his teeth were going to crush the bus like aluminum foil.”

“A magic school bus, eh?” Her dad leaned back. “I mean, I've probably heard weirder things this year, but I can't think of any off the top of my head.”

“Fluttershy spent the summer as a tree,” Sweetie pointed out. “But this is definitely the weirdest thing that happened to me.”

Her dad paused, mentally working through the story. “How did you get out?”

“Well, the easiest way would've been to go all the way down through the colon into the toilet, but we didn't know how long it would take for Snips to have a bowel movement, you know? So we went back up into the stomach and stirred up the gas so we could ride it up when he burped.”

Rarity happened to enter the livingroom just as Sweetie mentioned the toilet, and her eyes grew wider with each word her sister said. Slowly, she backed out of the room.

Sweetie's phone vibrated, and she snatched it up and read the new text. “Oh my . . . That would make so much sense!”

“What now?”

She peered up at him, finally meeting his eyes. “Apple Bloom says our teacher planned it that way the whole time. We've been learning about human anatomy in class, and our teacher is earth aspect, so it probably shouldn't take her this long to learn how to drive a school bus, even a magic one. Especially a magic one!”

“So she thinks your teacher meant for you to get eaten?” asked her dad, rubbing his head gem.

“Exhibit C: Her motto is, 'Take chances, make mistakes, get messy!'”

Her dad stroked the end of his mustache. “I'd better talk to Principal Celestia about all this.”

Author's Notes:

She did come with glowing recommendations from both Mr. Discord and Dr. Turner. Though the latter refused to say how they knew each other beyond muttering something about "distant cousins."

(Rejected chapter title: At Least it Wasn't the Urinary System)