Group Precipitation

by FanOfMostEverything

First published 1st of April, 2016

Stories set in the Oversaturated World, some silly, some less so.

Even in a world that just amended the laws of physics, not everything is going to be some grand world-shaking adventure. Sometimes, it's going to be silly, or at least short. These are those stories.

Canonicity is dubious at best.

Want to see your ideas here? Put them in the fiction thread in the group!

Image courtesy of Masterweaver.

Yet Another Revolution, by Tophe

"Show some respect fer yer elders, Jackie, Ah ain't deaf!" barked Granny. "Ah understand that Shimmer girl turned inta a sun goddess and changed the world bah magic."

"Uh, good. You just seem weirdly... chill about all this."

Granny smiled. "Ye say tha world's changed forever. Ah've heard that before. They said it when Fence Gates invented tha Internet. They said it when they split tha atom. An' by gum, they'll say it again someday!"

"Ah don't think this is entirely comparable."

"They said that before too. Now, since y'all can lift fifty stone onehanded, there's some chores need doin'..."

Launch Error, by FoME

"Hey!"

Sunset looked away from her locker to see a scowling Scootaloo. "Yes?"

"I want to file a bug report."

Sunset blinked. "What?"

Scootaloo spread her wings... which didn't even extend past her shoulders. She grunted and groaned like a constipated anime character and managed maybe an inch of altitude before landing, panting and furious. "What... gives?"

"Well..." Sunset put a hand on her chin as she thought. "Fluttershy's closer to animals than ever, but she has a very low top flight speed. Maybe unusual talents like your fate magic come at the cost of normal pegasus magic." She frowned. "I may have done this to you, Scootaloo. I'm sorry." She reached out to put a hand on the younger girl's shoulder.

After a blur of motion, Scootaloo wasn't there. "It's not all bad," she said from behind Sunset.

Sunset turned. "Wha—"

Judging by the blur and the brief pressure on Sunset's shoulders, Scootaloo vaulted over her at ludicrous speed and, once more behind her, said, "I'm still pretty awesome. Just wanted to know why I couldn't get airborne."

New Age Diplomacy, by Masterweaver

The president looked over the new diplomatic envoy. Even with the feathers down his neck, he couldn't quite believe what he was seeing.

"<Chriiip Krrk keeek-keke yurplip!>"

Sea Swirl cleared her throat. "The honorable Screamseeker understands your surprise, but wishes you to know that his service octopi can only last so long even within a magically propelled spout of seawater and would like your response before he has to return to his pod."

That managed to shake the president out of his shock. "Ah. Yes. Well." He cleared his throat. "I will have to consult with my advisors, but I suspect that they will agree quite readily to an alliance with the..." He gave Sea Swirl a look. "Green-kelp pod?"

"Greensea, sir. Green-Kelp is... a rival pod."

"Ah. My mistake."

Sea Swirl nodded, turning to the twisting column of water. "<Flii krknrup pepepep chiprachip!>"

"<Ayheyheyheyheyhey!>" With a clap of its forefins, the dolphin leaned out of the water and planted a toothy kiss on the president's forehead, then on Seaswirl's, before turning around and directing it back into the greater sea.

The president turned to the young girl.

"...Dolphins."

"Dolphins."

Fathoming the Unfathomable, by Tophe

Twilight massaged her forehead. “No, I mean the geometry of the space you travel through. Is it Eweclidean? Mincowski? Is it even a manifold?”

“Yup.” Pinkie nodded sagely. “I have no idea what those are.”

“Well, is it hyperbolic, elliptical, or flat?”

“Oh, definitely not flat. It's all floofy, like cotton candy!”

“Ugh, this was a waste of my time. Sorry, Pinkie, but if you don't have the technical basics to – wait, how is it like cotton candy?”

“Well, cotton candy's made of sugar threads wrapped around a long stick. So if the stick is the universe, the candy is like...”

* * *

… this five-dimensional region is surrounded by the Bubble Bath, which doesn't contain any strawberryways because it would dissolve the sugar.

I would like to thank Pinkamena Pie for her contributions to this chapter.

- extract from Probability Space: A Primer by Twilight Sparkle

Passing Time, by FoME and Masterweaver

(FoME)

Twilight sighed longingly, her head resting on the Cutie Map. Odds were that she couldn't sway the mysterious artifact through the same passive-aggressive tactics that always worked on Shining Armor, but it was worth a try. After all, it wasn't like she had anything better to do, even while some ponies were allowed to go to Manehattan.

"You did have two missions, you know," Spike said as he entered the throne room.

Twilight rolled her eyes. "The second one hardly counts. I don't even know why I was supposed to go with Sunset to the Tree of—" She gasped, cried "Sunset!" and dashed out of the room.

Spike hurried to keep up. "What about her?"

"Well, I may not have anything to do in this world, but I'm sure my friends in the human world wouldn't mind a surprise visit."

"Surprise?" Spike scowled as he finally caught up to Twilight, who was activating the portal. "You can't expect them to drop everything just because you're bored."

"Of course not." Twilight pranced in place as she waited for the override device to warm up. "If class is in session, I'll just wait in the library or something. I've barely even looked at their history."

The portal opened with a flash, displaying a pattern on the rippling spacetime membrane. "Huh," said Spike. "That's new." Five symbols lay in a pentagon, each in a slashed-circle "no" symbol. One was a silhouette of Discord's head, but the other four were cutie marks. "So, no Cadence, no Celestia, no Luna, and..." Spike hissed through his teeth. "Oh."

Twilight felt herself fall back on her haunches. "Well. Great. Wonderful! More than one universe doesn't want me to do anything!"

The symbols shifted and formed a familiar face. "Nothing personal, Twilight," said Sunset Shimmer. "It's just not safe to have an alicorn over here quite yet, and one Discord is frankly more than enough. If it's any consolation, we're in the middle of summer vacation. I'll see if the girls want to visit Equestria." With that, the portal pulsed with energy, shutting down the override device.

"Well, that should be fun, right, Twilight?" After a moment, Spike looked at up at the mare. "Uh, Twilight?"

"What am I going to do until then!?"

(Masterweaver)

"Why, SCIENCE!"

Spike jumped as Discord dropped in out of nowhere, begarbed in a labcoat. "What?!"

"Science?" Twilight tilted her head.

"SCIENCE!" proclaimed Discord, juggling multicolored test tubes.

Spike rose an eyeridge. "Science."

"Science...." Twilight mused.

"Science," Discord suggested.

"Science...?"

"Science!"

Spike backed away, cautiously. "Science?!"

"SCIENCE!" Twilight cried with a wide grin.

"SCIENCE!" echoed Discord.

(FoME)

Twilight blinked and looked up from her book. "Okay, that's weird."

"What is?" asked Sunset, sitting next to her under the same tree in the town park.

"It's this weird tugging sensation, like someone's pulling on my hair or something, except the pull's coming from a direction I can't place."

"Huh. Hang on." Sunset blurred, becoming a vague, roughly humanoid region of orange energy for a moment before resuming her usual shape. "Okay, bad news is that someone is trying to summon you. Good news, they didn't mean to, and they're not putting enough into it to actually make it work."

Twilight frowned at her. "I thought you were trying to tone down the whole 'omniscient observer' thing and stay on the level of us mere mortals."

Sunset smirked. "Look, Ditzy Doo was bad enough. I don't want you of all people falling out of the universe."

"Thanks," Twilight said with a little smile. She tilted her head. "Though I have to ask, how are people accidentally summoning me?"

"Well, one of them is the you of that world, which helps, and they're..." Sunset trailed off, looking away from Twilight.

"Yes?"

"They're, uh, chanting..." Sunset said the last word so softly, Twilight barely heard her say "science."

"Science?"

"Science."

"... Science."

Sunset grimaced. "We should probably stop. Summoning yourself rarely ends well."

Proper Notation, by Tophe

Shortly after interfacing an enchanted hoofmirror, a transdimensional relay, and a Linux smartphone...

"Look, you can't sign yourself Twilight Sparkle in Equestria. That's my name."

"It's mine too."

"I had it first."

"I don't have any other names I can use. You change, you can be HRH The Princess of Friendship."

"Absolutely not. I already had that argument with Luna once."

"Well, what's your idea?"

"We won't be the only ones dealing with this. Almost everybody has a duplicate, we need to establish a general convention."

"Oh, I see. So you can be Twilight-E, for Equestria, and I can be - no, Earth starts with an E as well."

"What's Earth?"

Dark Desires, by Masterweaver [Sex]

Author's Notes:

In the words of the author:

BE FOREWARNED THE FOLLOWING INVOLVES PROFANITY, FRANK DISCUSSIONS OF SEX, AND ADULT BISEXUAL WOMEN! YOU ARE FOREWARNED!

"...You are out of your flipping mind."

"Lulu, the fact that you said 'flipping' instead of 'fucking' just further proves my point."

Luna sighed, rubbing the crystal that had recently appeared on her forehead. "Chrysalis," she growled, "I am not. Going to make some sort of dreamworld brothel."

Across from her, stretching out her now longer legs, an ebony-skinned woman steepled her fingers with a smirk. "Whenever something new comes into existence, it's only a matter of time before somebody starts thinking about how to use it for sex. Just over this last week I've had a hundred new bedroom spells given to me by my children to look over. And some of them were quite exotic."

"Putting aside your cult's unnervingly... intimate nature," the blue woman said with a small shudder, "and the inevitable experimentation that, yes, I accept is going to happen... I don't see the point behind your proposal."

"Well, there are multiple points. Firstly, you can do in dreams what would be impossible in reality, even with magic. Secondly, dreams are private, for the most part, to a degree that reality is again unable to satisfy--"

"That might give legitimacy to people adjusting their own dreams--"

"--but the biggest point, I think, is curiosity." Chrysalis rolled her shoulders (and Luna managed to keep her blush down to a faint red line out of sheer willpower). "Let's be honest, almost nobody wants to admit to going into a sex shop, but almost everybody wants to poke their head in at some point. What I'm proposing isn't just a brothel, but a way to provide answers to questions that people would be too embarrassed to ask when they were awake."

Luna narrowed her eyes. "You were saying you'd have members of your church ready for private services."

"Only for paying customers," Chrysalis countered with an airy wave. "The main lobby wouldn't have any activity, just some informational pamphlets and, well." She leaned forward, resting her chin on her clasped hands (and oh, was that a low-cut dress she wore--Luna forced her eyes to snap back up). "Obviously, I would be there, to handle questions and generally be a secretary."

"That still sounds like a way to recruit innocent young members into your religion--"

"Harmonists have been running soup kitchens for ages, Lulu. The Wholesome would just offer something similar. And besides," she added as she flipped her long, silken hair (she always did that, and it frustrated the poor vice principal because she knew Chrysalis knew that she got flustered when she did), "If I didn't do it, somebody eventually would. At least this way you have some idea of the areas you want to avoid, instead of stumbling on some up and coming house of commons that don't even care for their servants and treat them like TRASH--!"

"Chrysy!"

The ebony woman blinked at Luna's sudden shout, taking notice of how she had suddenly stood, and followed her gaze to her own hands. "OH! Oh, sorry, I just--!" She quickly extinguished the green flames from around her hands. "Yeah, that's... that's been happening since the whole, uh, thing. Kind of freaked me out the first time, I burned right through the dress I was wearing before I realized it was me..."

Luna took a breath and slowly sat down again. "...Don't. Ever. Scare me like that again."

For a moment, just the briefest of moments, Chrysalis had a look of genuine shock and appreciation on her face. And then, once again, the mask of a sly and conniving flirt smirked at her. "Awww, you still care about me? That's sweet, Lulu. You know I'd be willing to pick up where we left off--"

"Regarding your proposition," Luna interjected firmly, "I can see that you have clearly put quite a bit of thought into this. However, I cannot in good conscience agree to it without some time to review the concept in its entirety. Furthermore, I will have to insist you draft up a written proposition and put it through the proper channels--"

"But Lulu--"

"SO THAT," she continued firmly, "in the event of further dreamworld based businesses, there will be a legal precedent from which their operation can be extrapolated."

After a moment, Chrysalis nodded. "I can agree to that."

"Good. Now... I have a school to run. I would be quite happy if you left me to it."

The ebony woman opened her mouth... and shut it, standing up. She walked to the door.

And stopped.

"...Luna... Even if you don't approve of my lifestyle... even though my choices hurt you... you know that I still care about you, right?"

Luna sighed. "Just... there's too much going on for me to handle this on top of everything, Chrysy. I need space right now."

"...so the moonbutt," Chrysalis said contemplatively, "needs some space."

"Oh get the fuck out."

Inevitable, by Masterweaver [Minor Gore]

"Two months," Sunset groused. "It's only been two months, and there's a zombie outbreak."

Twilight coughed. "I don't think it can be considered an 'outbreak.' Lab accident, maybe. And they're contained, and... well, it's lab rats, Sunset." She paused. "Unless some of them escaped--?"

"No, we're lucky the scientists were smart enough to lock the cages." She gestured at the online video of a partially dissected rat skittering around its enclosure. "I just... There isn't such a thing as zombie ponies in Equestria."

"Why not?"

Sunset opened her mouth... and paused. "...You know, I don't actually know. Hold on." She pulled out the magical world-connecting journal and quickly wrote something down in it. "Let's hope we get an answer soon though. Honestly. Zombies."

"Lab rats, Sunset."

"ZOMBIES!"

"...I think they're ghouls, technically." Twilight looked over her shoulder at the video of the rat trying to tug its own entrails free of the hamster wheel. "They still retain some some self-control."

"...what, there are classes of undead now?"

"Trust me, when your brother plays as many fantasy games as mine did growing up, you learn these things."

Once More with Feeling, by FoME

Weeks before Sunset would have a reason to research Oubliettes & Ogres sourcebooks, she got a phone call while at home. "Hey, AJ. What's up?"

"Ah don't wanna worry ya none, Sunset, but we may have a problem." Applejack tried to sound casual, but the underlying tension in her voice was clear.

Sunset got off her couch. "A magical one?" She grabbed her jacket off of the worn arm of the sofa.

"There any other kind these days?" Sunset could hear Applejack's smirk before the other girl got back to business. "See, jus' now, there was this big song an' dance number across the street. An' Ah mean an actual song an' dance number. Flips an' spins an' backup dancers, th' whole nine yards. Part o' me wanted t' join in."

The tension melted out of Sunset. She plopped back down. "Oh, is that all? Heartsongs are a well-documented aspect of harmony magic. You even participated in one a while back."

"Ah did?"

"Remember that flash mob thing you did in the school cafeteria to get everyone to support Princess Twilight? After..." Sunset sighed as her head dipped down. "After my smear video?"

"Yer a long way from that girl, Sunset." Applejack's tone turned thoughtful. "Still, never thought much about that. Shoot, how long've people been doin' that kinda thing?"

"I can't say for certain, but it's a perfectly natural part of magic as I understand it."

"Includin' songs about gettin' out mustard stains?"

Sunset blinked. "Huh?"

"Ah'm across th' street from a laundromat. This still normal?" Applejack's voice took on an uneasy edge. "If mah whole life's been an opera, Ah wanna know about it."

"Oh. I see. That is a bit much." After a little contemplation, Sunset said, "It's probably the world recalibrating itself as it adjusts to higher magic levels."

Applejack still sounded nervous. "We ain't singin' right now, are we?"

Sunset smiled. "No, Applejack, we're not singing. I'll try to tell you if we are."

"Alrighty then."

Mana Points, by Tophe and Masterweaver

(Tophe)

"We hypothesized as far as magic's concerned clothing is actually a part of the human body which is Pinkie-level bizarre but it explains so much like how Sunset and my counterpart came through the portal in normal human fashions and also you know how animals -"

"Twilight, dear, a little focus wouldn't go amiss." said Rarity, examining the tree, which gave off a gentle crackle of residual magic. A baffled but unworried rabbit glanced down from among the branches.

"Oh! Sorry I have a bit of a high at the moment from the magic surge because I overestimated the mana the spell would need for such a short duration and didn't control it well enough to adjust I'm used to having an external power source like my spectrometer actually have I shown you my spectrometer yet -"

"Twilight!" hissed Rarity. "This is turning into a disaster! We're already late for class, and if you don't figure out a counterspell in the next minute, someone will come out to investigate, and the entire school will know you TURNED FLUTTERSHY INTO A TREE!"

(Masterweaver, even less canonical than usual)

"...Mana is a snackfood," Sunset said, confused.

"Wh...what?"

"Yeah. Snackfood." Seeing the baffled look on Twilight's face, she rolled her eyes. "We'd make, basically, granola bars, but the ingredients were high-thaum-concentration plants--"

"Thaum." Twilight leapt on the word. "Thaum, is that a measure of magical energy?"

"It's a quantitative measure of potential magical energy--wait, is that what you thought mana was?"

"Yes! I mean, all the video games use... mana bars..."

The two of them stared at each other.

"...crrrrrrrap." Sunset buried her head in her hands. "We're going to have to sort out basic terminology ASAP, aren't we?"

Steaming Ahead, by FoME and Masterweaver

(FoME)

Celestia had seen a great deal while on the throne, but nothing quite like Twilight Sparkle’s human counterpart. Though they were in Princess Twilight’s castle, the girl retained her usual form, though Celestia understood that the ears and forehead crystal were recent additions. Celestia couldn’t help but compare the girl to a minotaur, though the proportions were as off as the feet. “I must confess,” said the princess, “I wasn’t expecting to meet you quite like this.”

“Nor was I,” said the human Twilight as she filled a silvery container with water. Wires connected it to a bizarre assembly of crystals and circuitry. Twilight fiddled with switches and dials as she continued. “On the one hand, well, I still have hands. On the other, I was looking forward to getting some experience as another species.” She faced Celestia, apparently satisfied with her gadgetry for now. “But that’s not why we’re here.”

Celestia nodded. “Indeed it is not. You and Princess Twilight have been very enthusiastic about trade between our two worlds, but I fear that both sides may receive innovations that they aren’t ready to use wisely. This is an exciting time, yes, but we must not let eagerness overtake prudence. Perhaps—” She was interrupted by a mechanical pop. “What was that?”

Twilight smiled and lifted the now steaming container from its base. “This, Princess Celestia, is an electric kettle.”

(Masterweaver)

Two weeks later, both Twilights looked at the smoldering remains of Canterlot palace's west wing.

"...Okay, so I know about electrical fires."

"Mmmhmm."

"And I can accept that magic can amplify fire."

"Yep."

"And, yes, it kind of makes sense that one of the cooks could overclock an electric kettle."

"It does."

"...But an entire wing of a marble palace?! AN ENTIRE WING?!"

"You're looking at it."

"I just... How?! HOW?!" Twilight stretched her hands wide. "It should have been contained to the kitchens, at most!"

"It should have," Twilight agreed.

"And, horrific as it sounds, you should have less property damage and more injured ponies! Maybe even a few dead ones!"

"I'm glad nopony died," the alicorn said, a hint of reproach in her voice.

"Me too, don't get me wrong, it's just... HOW?! The kitchens are in the east wing for crying out loud!"

And Now the Whether, by Masterweaver

"As you can plainly see, a vibration in harmonic register has been generated over the pacific. If you live on the west coast, you should expect a minor increase in personal heartsongs over the next week; the register seems to be low-power enough that you don't have to worry about major numbers breaking out, but it might be best to wear thick shoes if you're especially susceptible to good cheer. And that's the weather; now to Aria for the news!"

"Thank you Sonata. The Wholesome has made a strike against the recently formed Crystal Champions, using never-before-seen mental spells to bring them in. While the ethicality of these spells is still debatable, most pegasus and earth aspected members of Centauros are celebrating in the streets. The dictator Tirek has not been seen all month, and analysts predict his eugenic policies will be overturned before the year is out. Good riddance. Meanwhile, Adagio has news over in the entertainment industry."

"Hmmph."

"...Which I'm sure she'll be quite willing to share, since it pays her flippin' bills."

"Fine! Some whackos calling themselves the Technowizards have developed a gaming console that incorporates magic! They're calling it the Lotus! And maybe it'll be cool and maybe it'll flop! Rave about it online or not, I DON'T REALLY CARE!"

"This has been Siren Spell Stories, your channel for worldwide magical news. Stay tuned for our next segment: beating some sense into our former leader."

"Oh you wanna go? You think you can take me? Well come on and AAAAAAAAAUGH!"

"Whoopsie! Did I hit the taze button again?"

"...screw you, Sonata...."

One of Those Days, by FoME

Lunch at Canterlot High hadn’t changed much since magic first started leaking into the world. Though the school had been unified for months, the clique tables were slow to dissolve, held together by force of habit. Still, the cafeteria had a much lighter, livelier air than before the Fall Formal. The addition of novelties like winged students eating together near the ceiling, trays in their laps, only added to that.

However, some moods didn’t match the ambiance. Twilight Sparkle frowned, stabbed an innocent grape out of her fruit cup, and chewed it with extreme prejudice.

“Uh, Twilight? You okay?”

She took a deep breath and tried to smile as she turned to Sunset. “Fine. Why do you ask?” Twilight looked around. All her friends seemed uneasy, eyes wide and barely blinking. “What?” Her arm went down to impale more produce, but missed the mark by far more than she expected. She looked at it and blinked. “When did my fork turn into a Möbihoss strip?”

“See, that’s why I’m asking if you’re okay.” Sunset licked her fingertips and reached up to Twilight’s bun. After a brief hiss, she pulled back, shaking her now smoking fingers. “Hadn’t thought impassioned evocation was even possible in this world, but you were starting to smolder. What’s wrong?”

“It’s…” Twilight bit her lip. “This is going to sound crazy.”

Sunset, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack all pointed at Pinkie Pie, who smiled and waved.

Twilight couldn’t help but smile. “It’s just… have you ever wanted the world to be quiet for a second so you can hear yourself think?” Most of the others nodded. Twilight's smile widened. “And sometimes you just feel surrounded by fools and children, and the constant coughing and sneezing and breathing and sounds of disgusting flesh surround you and…” She trailed off. Pretty much everyone was looking at her funny now.

“I was with you up until the breathing,” said Sunset.

Pinkie looked around the table. “Huh. I thought everyone felt like that sometimes.”

Applejack scooted away from her as best she could. “Uh, yeah. No.”

Sunset put a hand on Twilight’s shoulder and smiled. “We should probably check on that mental contamination hypothesis of yours.”

Twilight felt her cheeks burn as she nodded. “Sooner rather than later.”

Author's Notes:

This one is more than a little autobiographical.

Mysterious Ways, by Masterweaver and FoME

(Masterweaver)

"No."

"But—"

"No," Sunset repeated, frowning.

"But—It's a lightsaber!"

"Yes it is. Now think about that feeling you're having. Now realize that every little kid that has seen Star Wars will have that same feeling. Now think about how easy it was to make that thing when you realized you had magic."

"...Oh."

"Give," Sunset commanded, her hand outstretched.

Reluctantly, the five star general handed over the metal cylinder. "You... do realize that people are going to make this all the time, right?"

"Mmmmyep. I'll just make sure only my 'chosen paladins' can keep them." The girl lit the blade up, examining it. "Or something. I'm still kind of new to this whole 'god' thing."

(FoME)

"'Chosen paladins'? Really?" Twilight rolled her eyes. "What, will you take their lightsabers away if they stop being lawful good?"

Sunset glanced about the Canterlot High lab, unable to make eye contact with the other girl. "Well, what was I supposed to say?"

"I don't know." Twilight crossed her arms. "I'm not a god."

"I don't think of myself as a god, and I don't want to. But there's a time and a place for explaining precisely what I've become. Convincing someone not to give lightsabers to one of the world's largest armed forces is neither."

Twilight sighed. "Sunset, from a cynical perspective, human history could be seen as an exercise in finding new and exciting ways to kill each other." Her expression softened as she put a hand on Sunset's shoulder. "You're going to run yourself ragged if you try to keep everyone on the planet from weaponizing magic."

Sunset kept looking away. "I... wasn't entirely joking about the religion."

Twilight took a step back, frowning. "Sunset..."

"Like it or not—and I don't—a few people already worship me. Heck, someone with a 3D printer has been making pendants of my cutie mark! I might as well try to use that for good."

After a bit of awkward silence, Twilight smiled. "Well, I can't do anything about your little cult, but I may have a better way for you to effect change."

"Hello. I'm Sunset Shimmer, and welcome to Magical Mayhem, where I explain how to use magic safely and responsibly by showing you what can go wrong if you don't. For our first episode we have... Well, let's at least try to avoid the lawsuit and call it a "beam sword." Before we begin, remember, I am a trained professional and also immortal. Do not try this at home. That's the whole point of this series. Do share, like, and subscribe though!"

(Masterweaver)

"...I cannot believe I'm doing this."

"Don't worry deary. If you're uncomfortable, you can just leave."

"Just leave—? HER? She's the reason we had to form this group in the first place!"

"The whole point of this group is to be comforting, understanding, and supportive. If she doesn't feel right being here—"

"No, it's fine, it's just... a little silly, you know? 'Gods Anonymous.'"

"Deities, dear. It's less denominational. And not all of us are really gods."

"Right, right. Okay. Hello, I'm Sunset Shimmer, the Spirit of Harmony and... I have over three hundred thousand worshipers worldwide."

"Three hundred thousand? Quite the burden. I've got my hands full with the three thousand children I have and, somehow, more are trickling in every day."

"That might be because of the whole counterpart thing. The Chrysalis of the other world is the queen of a eusocial species with all that that implies."

"Ahem, well. It's good to know the Wholesome will be completing so many lives."

"So your slutty cult is getting more sluts. Whoop-de-doo."

"Actually, Ahuizotl, the Wholesome believes in sharing all weakness to fill together all strength. How many children are in your flock?"

"....five."

"What? Only five? I mean, I'm not from this world but I would have thought the catgirl transformation would be more popular."

"Well, there's the whole 'sacrifice a cat to get the transformation' deal, and the fact that I'm apparently not as much of a god since I need an amulet to use my power... and my professional rival. She slandered me all the time before this."

"Don't worry, dear, I'm sure you'll get more kittens as you establish your beliefs...."

Author's Notes:

Some deities have holy texts. Sunset has a EweTube channel and a wiki.

Meanwhile, Mr. Discord has said that he will flunk any student he catches worshipping him.

"You Are" Song, by EonAon, FoME, and Masterweaver

(EonAon)

(FoME)

Principal Cinch had glared for most of the song, but by its end, she regarded Neon Lights with a serenity that lay on the other end of rage. "Detention, Mr. Lights," she said almost gently.

He swallowed and adjusted his shades. "How long?"

"I have yet to decide. We will see." Principal Cinch nodded to herself, turned on her heel, and almost glided out, her inner fury betrayed only by the occasional twitch.

(Masterweaver)

"In entertainment news," Adagio reluctantly grumped, "various record labels have come under fire for repeated lawsuits against heartsong riffs. Whinny has gone on record to state that any lawsuit filed in their name is to be immediately retracted, on the grounds that expecting artistic creativity from the majority of the populace while they are ensnared in harmony magic reveals a fundamental lack of understanding on how heartsongs work." She rubbed her forehead. "Meanwhile, dozens of musicians have received lawsuits for publishing heartsongs under their labels with unwitting people as participants in the performance... Shoo be glorfet do..."

"Yeah, this is going to get pretty ridiculous," Aria acknowledged.

"Glad this didn't happen back when we were the Dazzlings," Sonata quipped.

Oh Gods, by Masterweaver [Sex...?]

"...Are you good?"

"I... I'm better now," Sunset mumbled. "Thanks, Rarity, I--"

"Not a problem. I'll admit that you simply teleporting in was rather startling."

The other girl shivered.

"...do you want to talk about it?"

"...I..." Sunset finally broke off the hug, sitting on the edge of the dress-shop's showstage. "It's... okay, so... uh, you know I have... people who worship me, like a god, right?"

"Yes. Did you have a run-in with some zealots?"

"Not... exactly. See, magic is still rebalancing and, uh, accidental summonings..."

Rarity rose an eyebrow.

"They were married," Sunset explained. "And... really, really in love with each other."

"But what does that have to--oh. Oh my."

"There were ropes, and... and she was, bent like, and he, and... heat lamps... runes, I think a... plushie?"

"Ooooooh my."

"Three hours, they said."

"Oh." Rarity coughed. "Transporting into a complete stranger's room like that without any, uh, foreknowledge--"

"That's the worst part," Sunset whispered. "I knew one of them, a teacher at school..."

"I... think," Rarity managed, "that you just need to take a teensy little breath, figure out a way to lock down your summonings, and then have a small vacation. I'll cover for you in your classes. Does that sound alright?"

"Yeah. Yeah, that's... yeah..." Sunset hugged herself. "They shouldn't do that with tomatoes..."

Decepticon Panel Speaker, by FoME

Vinyl bobbed her head as she went down the stairs, the entry hall dim from the setting sun. As she reached for the front door, a harsh red light shone from behind her, and a monotone voice even more heavily modulated than her own spoke. "Unit dee jay pee zero en three. State destination."

Vinyl rolled her eyes as she turned around. "Wasn't funny the first time, Dad."

The hall lights went on with a clap, revealing a white-skinned man with close-cropped purple hair and a matching suit. Soundwave smiled as he extinguished the vivid glare from his head jewel. His voice remained the same. "What kind of father would I be if I didn't make terrible jokes?"

"The cool kind," Vinyl said, crossing her arms.

"I leave such matters to the professionals." Soundwave dipped his head at her.

Vinyl smirked. "You're damn right."

He scowled. "Language, young lady. And just where are you going?"

"Hangin' with my friends," Vinyl said with a shrug. "Got my phone, got my permit, got my sweet, sweet ride."

"Don't wear your sunglasses while driving, and be home by eleven."

Vinyl sputtered across three octaves before crying, "It's Friday night!"

Soundwave narrowed his eyes. "Be home by eleven or I send out the gnomes again."

She looked away, frowning. "Stuck in the cassette age."

"You wouldn't be here if it weren't for cassettes."

"I know, I know, most romantic mixtape ever." Vinyl sighed. "Fine. See you later, Dad."

"Have fun, sweetie."

Author's Notes:

I can neither confirm nor deny that Soundwave has a pet parakeet named Laserbeak.

Advanced Optics, by Tophe and Masterweaver

(Tophe)

"Wanna guess why Pony You doesn't wear glasses?"

"I'm blind as a bat without them, Rainbow. Assuming magical talking ponies don't have Daring Devil-based echolocation powers, she probably just wears contacts. Which probably aren't very comfortable if you have to put them in with hooves... I wonder how myopic pegasi manage."

"Nope, that's not it! I have here a text from Other Twilight herself saying she got hornbeam-eye surgery. And then two more asking what our word for hornbeam is."

"Fascinating. Well, mystery solved?"

"Wwwwwweeeeeeeeelllllllllllllllllllllllll..." grinned Rainbow over the course of five seconds.

"I saw that face when Pinkie was plotting the rock candy prank. It looks scarier on you."

"Okay, hear me out. Unicorns shoot lasers out of their horns - which, by the way, is totally awesome. You're part unicorn. So, I - "

"Are you about to suggest I perform high-energy magical surgery on myself, somehow shooting a laser from my forehead to my eye without hitting anything in-between, to fix a small cosmetic problem?"

"Oh yeah, didn't think of that. You'd have to use a mirror. Unless you can make your lasers curve."

"Rainbow, it would literally be less dangerous to request help from Mr. Discord."

(Masterweaver)

"...and that's when Rainbow changed tack, and, well, I did work with Mr. Discord a lot before I met you, and..."

Twilight sighed, awkwardly rubbing one of her four eyestalks.

Sunset facepalmed. "And that's why you have nine eyes now."

"I swear," Discord insisted, "I did not mean for this to happen."

Author's Notes:

Mr. Discord's degree is in physics, not biology.

Noise Complaint, by FoME

Twilight Sparkle cackled, once more aloft on wings of stolen magic. Five of the Rainbooms lay prone at her feet, and the sixth gaped in horror before her.

"How could you do this?" Sunset cried.

Twilight smirked. "I'm just applying the lessons you taught me, Sunset." The smirk became a sneer as she spread her arms wide. "After all, I couldn't have done this without my friends!"

"You're just making the same mistakes as before!"

"Oh, I won't deny that I've made some mistakes, but not the ones you mean. My first mistake was ever relinquishing this power. My second..." Twilight trailed off as she drifted closer, her mad grin softening as she cradled Sunset's chin in her hand. "My second was not sharing it with you to begin with."

Sunset blinked and felt herself flush. "W-what?"

"You come from a world of magic. You know precisely what we can do with this much of it at our fingertips. And you've tasted real power twice now." Twilight stroked Sunset's hand with her own, leaving lines of angry, demonic red in her wake. "Surely you're eager for a third time." Twilight gazed into Sunset's eyes. There was madness there, yes, but passion as well.

Sunset swallowed against her dry mouth. "I... I..."

"Celestia's cake-fattened rump, will you two just kiss already!?"

Both girls turned to see another, pajama-clad Sunset, her arms crossed, her eyes half-lidded, her ears pointed, and her forehead decorated with some kind of gemstone. "Honestly, people in other universes are trying to sleep."

Sunset's jaw dropped. "I... whuh?"

The other Sunset rubbed her temples. She muttered, "I really need to get Luna up to speed on dreamscape management," before taking a deep breath. "Okay, let me just check something." She shut her eyes, and her hair started dancing in an unfelt breeze as golden light streamed out from her shoulders like a cape. Phantom arms faded into translucency around her as her head started looking in all angles at once, making Sunset's eyes water.

After a few moments, the light show ended and the other Sunset shook her head, nearly losing her balance. "Don't know how Ditzy deals with that stuff. Okay, so we're just at a sort of polycosmic perigee. No risk of collision, which is good. But seriously, could you dream louder?" Her gaze shifted to Twilight, then her eyebrows rose. "On the other hand, if this is your power-mad Twilight, I can see why you're dreaming of her. Mine just looked like an angry anime character in her pajamas."

Twilight took a step away from Sunset and shrunk into herself, even folding her wings around her like a cloak.

The other Sunset turned back to the local. "Seriously, talk to her when you wake up. I don't think either of you will regret it." She yawned. "Anyway, I've got to go back to whatever passes for sleep for me anymore. And seriously, have some faith in yourself. You're one of the good guys now."

Sunset nodded slowly. "Um... sure."

Her other self gave her thumbs up, then faded into invisibility.

Sunset turned back to Twilight. "So, uh, what now?"

"I don't know. Apparently, I'm made of your deep-seated issues."

"Kiss!"

"Kiss!"

"And Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash are your id."

Hanging Out to Dryad, by Masterweaver

"...Fluttershy?"

"Mmmmm. Yes Rarity?"

"I can... understand that you're comfortable using your magic. And that you have a love of nature. And... and I'm glad that you're getting more confident."

"You're uncomfortable."

"Well... yes. I mean, there were always plenty of... well, nature girl jokes behind your back--"

"Understandable. The need to categorize is almost as fundamental to humans as the need to explore."

"Fluttershy, you've been out here for three weeks, and now I find you half naked, half tree, and--and there are literal bird's nests in your hair! I really don't want to come across as condescending, and I guess I'm partially motivated by missing you, but--don't you think you're taking this druid thing a little too far?"

"...three weeks?"

"Yes. Three weeks."

"...I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry you. I thought, it was summer vacation, and... well, I guess I just..."

"...just tell me your brother knows where you are."

"He does."

"Alright. I... can't stop you, I guess, but if anything goes wrong let him know."

Look! Up in the Sky! by FoME, Masterweaver, and archonix

(FoME)

Wonder Comics Headquarters

“Okay people, time to deal with the elephant in the room. What do we do?”

“What do you mean, boss?”

“The world’s changed, and we have to change with it. But that change is going to be rougher for some heroes than others. The staples aren’t anything special anymore. Flying, strength, magic, we’ve got people in this very room who can match some of the characters. So, what do we do? For that matter, what do we do with the Cinematic Universe, especially the ones midway through shooting?”

“All of Applewood has to worry about that one, boss.”

“And so do we. It’s just like that one line in The Amazings. Everyone’s super these days, and that just made a whole bunch of characters a lot less so. Heck, the Y-Men books just lost their main conflict. Everyone’s a mutant these days.”

“We could explore that.”

“Well, it’ll buy enough time to figure out something else to do, as long as we don’t turn it into another Clone Saga. Still, that’s one problem down, a hundred to go. Settle in, gentlemen. We’re in for a long night.”

SC Comics Headquarters

“All in favor of Filli-Second running fast enough to reboot the universe again?”

“Aye.” “Aye.” “Aye.” “Aye.”

“Fantastic. What’s for lunch?”

Shining Armor smirked. “Pretty sure that isn’t how it’s going to go, Dex.”

Poindexter scowled and adjusted his glasses. “Wait and see, Shining. You just wait and see."

(Masterweaver)

"In entertainment news--girls, do I really have to say this?" Adagio groaned.

Aria grinned. "Yep."

"This is stupid! This is stupider then the heartsong thing! This is literally the child of stupidity incarnate after it got knocked up by a drunken geek! Who is also stupid!"

"...Wait." Sonata tapped her chin. "Who in their right mind would incarnate stupidity? And what would it end up looking like anyway?"

Aria coughed into her sleeve.

"Huh? Oh right! Tangent. Entertainment news, Adagio."

"...in entertainment news," Adagio managed, "there have been a number of people arrested after they insisted they were... copyrighted... comic book characters. To be fair, they were arrested for vigilantism. The comic book industry is now... partnering with... this can't be right."

Aria tilted her head. "What?"

"...is now partnering with the police force to create a super hero training program."

There was dead silence for a moment.

"...I can not be the only person who thinks this is beyond stupid," Adagio said flatly.

"No," Aria managed, "I kind of find it stupid too."

Sonata twiddled her 'Marrina Was Innocent' button with a small blush. "Uh... it might not be all that stupid..."

(archonix)

"Really?"

Mr Discord steepled his fingers and smiled an all too friendly smile in Sunset's general direction. He turned his head to catch it a moment later and waggled his eyebrows. "Really."

"A supervillain school."

"Of course!" His smile broadened. "You did take great pains to lecture me about maintaining the balance of nature and magic in this world, my dear. There can be no light without darkness, no pleasure without pain."

"No up without down," Sunset supplied. She put her hands on her hips, but Discord only laughed at her interruption.

"No straightman without the clown," he continued, gesturing smoothly toward the motley assembly before them. "The moment these superheroes turned up it was inevitable that their mirror would appear too, yes? And frankly it seems unfair, nay unjust that they be allowed out into the world without a little guidance."

"Guidance. Discord..." Sunset pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. "You're training them to be bad guys."

"I most certainly am not! And I resent the implication that you think I'm somehow 'bad' as well. Being bad means following the rules."

"You used to be a physicist."

"And you used to be a horse," Discord shot back. He paused as Sunset raised her hand, but then she lowered it and sighed again. "And so we reach an impasse. I'm not teaching them anything about how to commit crimes or whatever other schemes your worryingly expanded mind is coming up with. Is it boredom that makes you so paranoid? If I were in your position—"

"You aren't! I am! And I'm not paranoid!" Sunset rubbed her temples this time. It had little effect – the headache she was feeling was only as real as she wanted it to be, which raised all sorts of ontological questions – but it gave her something to do for a moment. When she opened her eyes again, Discord was edging back toward the group, though one eye remained firmly fixed on her.

It was in his ear.

"What," she said, very carefully, while ignoring the mischievous grin that was now flitting about her head, "are you teaching them?"

Discord pouted. "Why, how to laugh, of course! A villain is nothing without his laugh."

"Or hers," Pinkie Pie yelled from the back of the room.

Sunset could only put her head in her hands.

Author's Notes:

SC once stood for Sleuth Comics.

Also, I'll just be over here squeeing my head off about archonix joining in. Don't mind me.

Two Geeks' Notice, by Masterweaver

"Alright, Mister Discord, who is it you want me to meet?"

"Don't get me wrong, Twilight, you've been an excellent student, but both you and I know we're moving into new stages in our life. So I decided to find a new assistant!"

"I... suppose that's fair. I'm a little hurt that I'm being replaced, but--"

"Ah-ah-ah. You're not being replaced. She is your replacement."

"...what's the difference?"

"The difference is that you're leaving by choice, not by force! And I couldn't be more proud of you if you became a chaotic spawn of nightmares."

"...you... do realize that I kind of--"

"No, that was an orderly spawn of nightmares. Completely different."

"Well.... I guess I appreciate the sentiment. So, who is it that you're replacing me with? An eager young teenager, or an older professor of exotic sciences?"

"Both! Twilight Sparkle, meet Sonata Dusk!"

"...."

"...."

"Didn't you try to kill me?"

"Oh, that was you? I'm sorry, I wasn't myself that day."

With Great Sour, by Masterweaver

Screams.

She remembered the screams. It wasn't like she could forget.

Her eyes darted up as she heard the door creak open, and she quickly pulled her hand off the gem in her forehead.

"SOOOOOOWHADDUPMAHGIRLAY!!" The newcomer skated over--and how the doctors had let her come in with her roller blades was a mystery for the ages--and twirled her head with a maniac grin. "GODDATHINGYAWANTED!!"

Somehow, the necklace she wore spun up her neck, around her head, and through her wildly flailing hair before landing in the lap of the unamused patient. "Gee, how thoughtful of you, Lemon Zest. You know what else would be thoughtful? Being quiet in a damn hospital!"

"YAGADDASPEAKUPGALPAL! IMMAJAMMINTATHAGREATS! SPEEEEEEEEDBOOST!" The intruder twirled, skated up a wall, and jumped over the doctor just entering the room as she made her escape.

"Sweet Chrysalis! Young lady, are you okay?!" The doctor rushed over, checking her bandages and IV drips. "I'm so sorry, she just--she flew past security and--"

"I'm fine you dunderhead! ...thanks for caring." With a sigh, she pushed the doctor away. "Can I have a little... privacy, please?"

"Oh, of course, I'm so sorry, I'll just..." The doctor backed out quickly, trying to gather his paperwork up.

She waited for a moment or two before picking up the pendant in her lap. A red and yellow sun, arranged in yin and yang... ironic enough, she supposed.

Her eyes darted around for a moment, making sure nobody else was around, or glancing through the door.

Then she brought the pendant up to her mouth. "I need you, Sunset Shimmer. I need you to kill me."

Time froze. There wasn't any other way to describe it, one moment the doctors were still chasing after Lemon Zest and the next she was hanging midway to an open window, her lightbow arcing from her shoulders in the sudden silence.

And Sunset Shimmer was there. Walking in through the door, eyes intense.

"Sour Sweet, what did you just say?"

"What, are you deaf?" She flung her arms wide. "I need you to kill me! Or at the very least get rid of this ruby on my head!"

The other girl rolled her eyes. "Look, I'm not the one who chose the pony aspects, alright? If you're unhappy with what you got--"

"Oh, no, I'm totally fine with new jewelry, I'm a teenage girl after all. But do you know what else I am? I AM A FUCKING SCHIZOPHRENIC!"

Sunset Shimmer blinked.

"Do you know how terrifying it is?" Sour Sweet crossed her arms. "Do you know how frightening it is to not be able to trust your own emotions? To hear voices, telling you the world isn't what it seems? And that's before the hallucinations. And if that were it, I'd be fine with the pills I had. I was doing pretty good for a while there, actually!" She smiled. "I got a boyfriend! I started babysitting again! Hell, some of my hallucinations were actually kind of sweet!"

"Sour--"

"And then I got this." She pointed at her forehead. "I don't know how this works, but before hand I knew the spiders weren't real. Now? Now the spiders become real. And they get big. And they tear through my home, and, and they attack people, and..."

She sighed. "I need you to kill me, Sunset. Or figure this out. I don't... I don't want to die anymore, but... I don't think I can live like this."

Author's Notes:

As I noted on the thread, I'm not sure whether this can't be canon or if it needs to be.

For those wondering about the boyfriend, I'm fairly certain that comes from Nico-Stone Rupan's demonstrations that enjoyable stories and the 2nd Person tag aren't mutually exclusive.

Comes Great Sweetsponsibility, by Masterweaver

Sunset sat down with a sigh.

"Oh, Ah know that look." Applejack sat down next to her. "What's up, girl? Another holy war?"

"No, it's..." Running her hands through her hair, the girl took a breath. "I don't know if I should talk about this, actually. It wasn't my problem, I just... fixed it."

Applejack shrugged. "If you don't want to talk, it's fahn."

"...okay. There was this girl, got the unicorn aspect--and she also has schizophrenia. Voices, hallucinations, whole nine yards." Sunset winced. "Thing is, her hallucinations fed into her magic and... yeah."

"Ooog."

"I did... she had a boyfriend, and I basically swapped their magic--pegasus for unicorn. I mean, she still has the gem, so nobody's going to ask how she changed unless she shows off, but..." Sunset held her hands out helplessly. "Things like that. Magic affecting people on a personal level. How should I... how should the world treat that?"

Applejack tilted her head. "What do you mean?"

"I mean... look, most people are treating magic like it's a Big Thing. New weapons or tech or... cultures. But here there was a case of magic being... tied to the person. Affecting them and only them. And... I don't know, is it a violation of privacy to... to notice things like that?"

"Well... Ah don't rightly know about privacy. Ah get the sneakin' suspicion that for you in specific, privacy means not talkin' bout everything ya notice. But..." Applejack shrugged. "Look, this girl, did she summon you?"

"Yeah."

"Then it sounds like she just needed somebody ta help her. Far as Ah'm concerned, that's all you need to know."

Sunset chuckled. "You're always so practical, aren't you."

"Eeeeyup."

"...I'm dreaming, aren't I?"

"Eeeeyup."

"....want to, uh... I mean..." Sunset blushed.

Applejack gave her a sly smile, and in a swift motion tore off her shirt to reveal the labcoat beneath. "Ah'm always up for science."

Author's Notes:

Breaking chronological order of submission for this one, since it directly ties into the previous one.

Also, I remain uncertain whether Sunset tapped Applejack's dreamscape, Applejack represents Sunset's own moral fiber, or if Twilight figured out dreamwalking and illusory disguises.

Mad Scientist's Best Friend, by EonAon and FoME

Later in the day the world was remade, another revelation worked his way down the stairs of Twilight Sparkle's home, trotted into the kitchen, and looked at the woman currently making dinner.

"Hi, Mrs. Velvet. Hey, is there any way I could get one of those bone biscuit things? Those taste great."

Twilight Velvet didn't even blink. She just sighed and shouted, "Twilight Sparkle! What have I told you about experimenting on the dog!?"

Velvet still handled the situation well even after her daughter explained the existence of parallel universes, her brief period as the incarnation of the fifth fundamental force, and never working with electroencephalograms with or without Mr. Discord. Sparkle was starting to something about dragons when Velvet up a hand.

"Let me just make sure I understand you correctly, dear. Spike can now talk? Permanently?"

Sparkle bit her lip and nodded. "I'm afraid so mother. I really don't know how it happened; I was exactly able to observe it. I definitely don't know how to undo it." She smiled, knelt down, and petted Spike. "Not that I want to."

"Then I guess we'll have to cancel that veterinarian appointment for next week, won't we?"

"Oh! Yes, I had completely forgotten about that. That's definitely a discussion I don't want to have with Spike now."

"Vet!? I remember that word," Spike said suspiciously. "What vet appointment?"

Sparkle forced a rictus grin. "Oh nothing, just a little checkup for my best assistant ever."

Velvet smiled as Spike guided her hand to the perfect spot behind his ears, but she turned serious when she looked back at her daughter. "Incidentally, does this have anything to do with why there was a hole in your bedroom wall this morning?"

The grin managed to grow even more forced. "Uh... Kind of?"

Orison, I Am Disappoint, by Masterweaver and FoME

(Masterweaver)

Sunset let her face hit her desk with a groan, raising her hand. "Miss Harshwhinny? Something importantly stupid just came up, I'm going to need to trance out for a bit."

The teacher clicked her fingers together. "Isn't the expression 'stupidly important?'"

"Trust me, I meant importantly stupid."

"And what, exactly, is this situation?"

"Some of my worshipers are starting a religious war over what I am," Sunset explained. "I'd rather not have a second Romane imperial collapse on my hands, if I could avoid it."

"Ah. Very well, you're free to negotiate and/or smack sense into them, as appropriate." The woman turned to the blue girl next to Sunset. "Miss Dash, I expect you to take notes for her while she's gone."

"Aw, c'mon!"

(FoME)

"In the end," Sunset said at lunch, "it was a dispute over whether my cutie mark is red with yellow parts or yellow with red parts."

"Really?" asked Pinkie.

"No, but it was equally unimportant." Sunset sighed as she picked at her pasta salad. "I never thought I'd say this, but I may need to write a holy text. Anyone want to provide a book?"

(Masterweaver)

"Does it have to be a book?" Dash whined. "I have... issues with books."

"Hey, yeah. If some of your worshipers have dyslexia--"

"Fine! I'll make holy vlog!"

In Her Image, by Masterweaver

She tugged the hood over her head, checking to make sure her distinctive hair wasn't exposed, before sticking her hands in her pockets and opening the van door.

Life had been hard for a while, she supposed, but recent events had forced her out on the streets in more ways then one. Which absolutely sucked--she had never needed to fake an identity before, and now she couldn't even get money without getting stares. Stares she hated. Stares she did not deserve.

A growl escaped her throat. All her hard work--all her research, all her politicking and putting up with paperwork and idiot coworkers--all her efforts to raise herself to somebody of import, somebody who had power and used it for the betterment of all--had been wiped away by some stupid teenager from another world. The board had been upended. The game had changed, new rules slapped on, and when the vision passed she had seen the way her partner was looking at her.

It was awe.

But it wasn't awe she had earned.

She'd run home. Packed up. Pulled everything from her accounts, put it on a cloud, and hopped in her car. She'd traded it at a dealership and never looked back.

Now she was roving the country, sleeping in a van, and making a living... through online art commissions. And maybe a diet of convenience store food wasn't what she was used to, but it was the best she could get at the moment. She'd learned to be more discerning of her purchases. She'd learned to cook things on a portable stove. She'd learned to park her car off the highway, staring at stars as she pulled her sleeping bag over her chest.

She avoided churches like the plague.

The worst part, in her mind, was that she couldn't actually blame the kid. Oh, sure, maybe she'd made some mistakes, and maybe this whole situation was her fault in the first place, but she did what she did to save the world. And every time she tried to hate her, every time she tried to come up with the emotions she should have... well, some well timed news report would come over the radio, or some bout of luck would hit her, or maybe she'd just be exhausted.

In the end, she just suffered through the days.

Slinging her groceries into the back seat, Sunset Shimmer revved up the engine of her van and drove on.

Under Development, by FoME

White.

It took quite some time before Microchips could focus on anything but the white. The sky and ground were a uniform, sterile white. There were no shadows, not even under his own feet, so the horizon blended together into a seamless whole that could've been five feet away or five million.

Not that there was much else to focus on. Not beyond the only other figure in the space, sitting in the lotus position and floating a few feet above the ground. It wore nothing, but had nothing to conceal. Its body was featureless and androgynous, and its flesh caught the sourceless light like plastic. It had no head or neck. Instead, above its shoulders floated a capital, serifed G. Squares of bright green or dead-screen blue flitted about it like moths around a lamppost.

The figure did not move, but Microchips felt an unmistakable sense of focus upon him. A voice, genderless and neutral, boomed from every direction at once. "You should not yet be here, User. Return to your sack of meat."

Microchips gasped as his eyes snapped open. The rest of the CHS computer club looked at him expectantly. "Well?" said Scribble Dee.

He looked at the search engine's home page warily. "The cybervisualization spell definitely works. Also, Gillion is definitely working on something similar."

Author's Notes:

Gillion is the local equivalent of Google. Apparently, the developing awareness prefers the old logo.

Beseech the Baconhead, by River Road

"Please?"

Sunset looked over the selection of bread before picking one and putting it in her shopping cart, not even glancing at the rainbow-haired girl. "No."

~~~~~

"Please?"

Sunset counted a few coins from her wallet and dropped them on the counter that Rainbow was leaning on, picking up her coffee and turning around with it. "No."

~~~~~

"Please?"

Sunset sighed and kept sweeping through the various types of dirt that an animal shelter generated, once again not looking away to acknowledge Rainbow. "No."

~~~~~

"Pleeeeaaase?"

Sunset sighed and stared harder at her book, trying to ignore her friend even with said friend practically hanging over her shoulder. "No."

"Pleeeeaaase?"

Her ear twitched at the voice of another one of her friends who was now apparently hanging over her other shoulder. "No. Pinkie, you don't even know what this is about."

"Yes I do."

"In that case, hell no."

Rainbow leaned forward a bit further, grinning. "Come on, Sunset. Just one day."

Sunset's eye twitched.

~~~~~

Rarity looked up from her salad, staring as Sunset quite literally dragged Rainbow and Pinkie through the cafeteria and towards their table. "Uhm..."

Sunset walked up to her, lifted the two girls who were trying not-so-hard to stifle their laughter, and dropped them into two empty chairs. "There. This is your fault, you deal with them." She turned on her heel and walked back the way she came, muttering under her breath.

Rarity blinked. "My fault? But what... oh." She looked at her two friends, who were still struggling to stop laughing. "Oh dear..."

Applejack snorted, giving Rarity a look that didn't hold the least bit of pity. "Told ya bringing that movie to movie night was a bad idea."

Rarity groaned and turned back to her salad. "I didn't consider the consequences. I just hope she won't stay mad for too long."

Rainbow pulled herself upright, chuckling a few more moments before she'd finally calmed down. "I don't know what you two mean. Spruce Almighty is a classic."

Author's Notes:

"Why not?"

"Besides it being a terrible idea? The universe would probably collapse in a matter of seconds. Divinity isn't a toy, Dash."

(I was going to call this chapter "Divine Inspiration," but I thought that would be too much of a spoiler. For those of you who don't get the joke, Bruce Almighty is a story about a man (Jim Carrey) who God (Morgan Freeman) endows with all of His powers. The man then proceeds to learn the mantra of Spider-Man.)

The Old Guard, by Masterweaver

"I really have to thank you for this," Ahuizotl grunted. "I would never have been able to handle this on my own."

"Well, the Wholesome is all about completing the self with others," Chrysalis acknowledged. "Although I'm afraid I will have to discuss compensation at some later point. So many of my children..." She trailed off.

Sunset rubbed the gem in her forehead. "I'm kind of amazed that there was an entire lost pantheon. If it weren't for the Power Patriots and Discord coming in at the last minute... is there any other ancient magic I should be made aware of?"

Twilight coughed. "Um. There are... lots of legends. And myths." She rubbed the back of her head. "Across the entire world."

"Great." Sunset groaned. "Is there any possibility of another Quetzalcoatl incident?"

"...there's the concept of Ragnarok," Twilight allowed. "And... well, there are many old stories about magical beings retreating to other worlds, but I thought that might be explained by the portal... there's also Neighponese mythology, which is flat out weird--"

"You know, once upon a time I thought it would be awesome to ascend," Sunset deadpanned. "Now I realize how much work it really is." She let her head drop to the table. "Twi, just... do me a favor and compile a list of dangerous creatures in order of most to least, so I can figure out how to handle this."

Author's Notes:

Before anyone asks, no, the usual myth for the origin of the islands of Neighpon is not canon to the Oversaturated World. And no, I'm not going into further detail. I'd have to raise the story rating if I did.

Xenocurious, by Masterweaver and FoME [Sex]

(Masterweaver)

"....Sooooooooo."

"Yeah...."

Sweetie Drops wrung her hands. "I... can't... exactly say this is a surprise. I mean, you told me about... running away from home."

"Yeah."

"And what just happened with Sunset and... magic, and all that..."

"...This... this is going to make things awkward, isn't it?"

"...Lyra, I'm socially conditioned to view sexual intimacy with nonhumans as very much taboo. And even if I push past that--which I'm willing to try--it's just... well---"

She gestured helplessly at the small green unicorn, who folded back her ears. "O-oh..."

"Nonono!" The cream girl rushed over and hugged her. "I want us to work, I do, I just--this mental block. I have to push past it, is all--"

"It's kind of weird for me too," Lyra pointed out. "I mean, I've been a human since I was five. It's been ages since I had hooves..."

Sweetie Drops leaned back. "...do you... do you want to stay human? Or unicorn, or--"

"I want to be human. This is... this isn't bad, but it isn't... me." Lyra shook her head. "Can you call Sunset? Maybe she can fix this..."

(FoME)

Meanwhile, in Equestria...

Bonbon perked up as she heard the door ring. "Gooood morning, and welcome to Bonbon's Bonbons!"

Pinkie Pie returned the grin. "Good morning to you too! You seem super double chocolate chipper today, which is appropriate, since I need twenty gallons of chocolate syrup."

"Right away." Bonbon hummed to herself as she went into the storeroom and rolled the drum to the register. "Remember, this is a few hundred pounds, so watch where you roll it."

Pinkie saluted. "Not a problem. Though you never did tell me where you get these magihazard-safe drums."

"Trade secret. Put it on the Cakes' account?"

"Yuh huh. We just got one of those fancy Istallion coffee machines." Pinkie sprang up and proclaimed, "Today is Latte Day!" She paused in midair. "Wait, you didn't know that." She slowly drifted back to the floor, her briefly interrupted smile back in place. "So why are you so happy?"

Bonbon gave a fond sigh. "Fingers are amazing."

Author's Notes:

"Wait, where's Lyra?"

"Unicorn stamina is less amazing. The ape body only helps so much."

Where Parallel Lines Cross Over, by Tophe

Focused as she was on the game, Ditzy didn't notice the orange hand on her shoulder until it rudely yanked her two feet into the sixth dimension. Hocus Pocus cards scattered everywhere, including outside of Euclopean space. The other two players just sat stunned.

As soon as she got her bearings, Ditzy whirled angrily onto the alicorn girl. "What's the idea? If you wanted to talk, you could have just asked!"

Sunset examined her intensely, from every angle including some that weren't conventionally perceptible. "Ditzy, have you felt particularly giant-monsterish lately?"

"Or at least given me a second's warning... Giant-monsterish? Really?"

"Have you recently had too many tentacles and not enough heads?"

"Uh, no."

"Consumed the substrate of reality to fuel your powers?"

"Not particularly."

"Noticed the laws of physics ceasing to apply to you?"

"No more than usual."

Sunset glared. "What do you mean, usual?"

"I can fly."

"Doesn't count."

"I can fly in seven dimensions."

"Anything else?"

"I was baking yesterday, and the muffins burned in less than five minutes. That's definitely against the laws of physics."

A worried expression flickered across Sunset's face. Branches of the Tree, she's actually considering it. "That was a joke, Sunset."

Sunset didn't laugh, and finished her examination in grim silence. "Everything seems fine. As far as I can tell, you're perfectly normal."

"I consider that an insult. So what'd you drag me away from lunchtime gaming for?"

"One of your alternates got in trouble. The sort of trouble that ends with annihilation of all sentient life and the digestion of reality. I don't have a good grasp of the resonance between different multiversal instances of the same person - destiny magic is impossible to study in a controlled environment - so I had to get you out of the world, just in case you'd gotten into a parallel situation. Our universe isn't stable enough to support that kind of power, your presence would have caused irreparable damage to the local area." Ditzy's mouth hung open in horror. "Oh, your alternate's fine, by the way."

"... when you say fine, is that technically fine or actually fine?"

"Actually fine."

Author's Notes:

Here's your context. Sunset may not privy to everything that happens in all possible Equestrias, but some events are hard to miss.

Also, Ditzy was able to recover the cards she'd dropped outside of conventional spacetime.

Criffleball, by Masterweaver

"Helloooooooooo sports fans! Welcome to the first Criffleball tournament! I'm Spot On."

"And I'm Smooth Voice. Well, seems like we've got quite the line up here, don't we Spot?"

"Indeedily do. Not only do we have the Canterlot Cardinels, the original inventors of Criffleball, we also have their rivals, the Crystal Catfighters, and fourteen other teams from across the country."

"The Cardinals and the Catfighters have agreed to start at opposite ends of the brackets, for sake of fairness, and--ah, here come the Cardinel's first opponents, the Appleoosa Apricots."

"I can't begin to tell you how much of a challenge the Apricots are going to face, they've always run a solo-caster lineup and that will make it near impossible to counter Rainbow Dash's excellent sweep-play. Still, they're a strong team overall."

"The players are moving into position. Hold on. That's new."

"Indeed. The Apricots have abandoned their usual seige-form for a spread out. No idea what they're thinking."

"Could be aiming to rush. And there's the whistle! They're off!"

Author's Notes:

This should've gone up last week. My bad.

In any case, Masterweaver describes Criffleball as "a combination of dodgeball, tug of war, and rugby played in three dimensions with magic thrown in." Rules and terminology can be found here. I'm sure the video games are already in development in the Oversaturated World.

Good Vibrations, by FoME

After Sugarcoat’s confession, she and Lemon Zest found themselves going to Canterlot on a somewhat frequent basis. It was easy to despise a caricature of stupid, lazy public school kids, but much harder to hate those who’d offered a sympathetic ear and covering the cost of your therapeutic sundae.

After a few outings, the four girls agreed to ask Twilight to the next one, the awkwardness having fallen to acceptable levels. With Dash occupied with a team practice, it was just the Crystal Prep girls, Pinkie, Twilight, and Sunset sitting in Sugarcube Corner.

“Tell me more about this technology empathy phenomenon,” said Twilight.

Lemon bobbed her head from side to side. “Not exactly easy to describe, you know? It’s like this whole other sense.”

Sugarcoat nodded. “The classic example of trying to describe red to a blind person applies. Though it lies more between hearing and, as you said, empathy.”

“And stuff just happening.” Lemon tapped the headphones hanging around her neck. “The sound quality on these babies has never been better.”

“And I was already drawing up party cannon blueprints even before Maud got rock powers!” added Pinkie. “I’d never been able to make the idea gel before the Fall Formal.”

Sunset screwed up her face, though some of that might have been the extra-thick milkshake. “It’s weird. I didn’t study much earth pony magic in Equestria, but I definitely never heard of any kind of technological rapport.”

“Could it be an emergent property of combining equine and human magic?” said Twilight.

“Possibly. I’ll have to ask Princess Twilight. I suppose I could experiment with it myself, but I’d rather keep myself to what I already understand.”

Sugarcoat gazed at nothing for a moment. “Picturing Twilight as royalty still feels… surreal.”

“Especially magic horse royalty,” added Lemon.

Sunset chuckled. “Ninety percent of the time, she’s a bigger dork than this one.” She jerked a thumb at a smirking Twilight.

“Gee, thanks.”

“And the other ten?” said Sugarcoat.

Sunset gave a serene smile that seemed better suited on some saffron-robed monk. “That’s when you see why and how she became magic horse royalty.”

“Hello.” The word came out as a long, deepening glissando, disrupting the moment. Everyone turned to see Vinyl Scratch all but draping herself over Lemon Zest. “You come here often?”

Lemon’s face flickered through several emotions: shock, confusion, intrigue. “Dude, is your voice Auto-Tuned?”

Vinyl smiled. “You know it, baby.”

Octavia came up to Sunset, frowning quizzically. “What precisely is going on here?”

Sunset gave a quiet gasp. “Just how many prosthetics does Vinyl have?”

“More than she likes to admit.”

“Would you say she qualified as more technological than biological?”

“I’d say that’s a rather personal matter for her.” Octavia smirked. “And she’d probably classify herself as ‘musical’ before either of those.”

“Ah.” Sunset nodded. “That’d do it. I think she may qualify as a speaker system for the purposes of Lemon Zest’s magic.”

“Well, it would explain why she’s been more…” Octavia cleared her throat. “Well. Never you mind. How do we stop it?”

“I don’t think we can. Musicians with earth powers are her catnip.”

“I am not sure how to feel about this.”

Octavia sat on her side of Vinyl's basement, taking a moment to let her retelling sink in. "And that was when you started commenting on the smell of her hair."

Vinyl's jaw hung open. The sound that came out was somewhere between a struck tuning fork and the Emergency Broadcast System.

"Quite. Sunset said something about sensory overload, you never encountering something quite like that before. Now that you've experienced it, you should be able to acquit yourself with greater dignity in the future."

Blushing bright red, Vinyl nodded so fast that her glasses nearly flew off.

A Different Sort of Summoning, by Masterweaver [Suggestive Content]

Sunset stared at the paper in her hands.

Sunset stared. At the paper. In her hands.

Sunset. Stared.

At. The. Paper.

In. Her. Hands.

....no, not even dramatically emphasizing it made it any more incredulous.

Almost without thinking, she snapped her fingers--and immediately six very confused teenage girls were in the living room with her.

"Before you complain about me stealing you away from whatever," she said quickly, "I need you all to confirm that this thing that I am holding is real."

Applejack peered over her shoulder. "...is... that a court summons?"

Sunset's shoulders sagged. "Yeah. I'm not hallucinating this, am I?"

"Violations of... religious and magical law?" Rarity read.

Twilight took the paper and unfolded it. "Well, that's... quite a list."

"Eh, some people will lawyerize anything," Pinkie said with a shrug. "I mean, I remember this one time I baked a totally awesome cake—"

"Okay, since I'm the blunt one I'm just going to say it. Fluttershy, why are you naked?"

At Rainbow Dash's words, everyone turned to the girl who had hastily wrapped herself in a quilt with Sunset's mark on it, only just now noticing the tattooed lines on her face.

"...I, uh..." Fluttershy blushed. "I... miiiiiight have been practicing a druidic ritual to connect myself to the feeling of nature while in the depths of a local forest." She coughed. "But, yes, that is kind of a ridiculous lawsuit."

Sunset blinked. "Oh. Sorry for interrupting that. I'll just... send you back now if you need it?"

"That would be nice, yes."

With a snap of Sunset's fingers, the now empty quilt fell to the ground. She turned to the others. "So. Anybody else pulled from something important?"

A general casual negative reaction was given.

"Okay. So... Lawsuit. Against me... I mean, what." She threw up her hands. "What."

Author's Notes:

I checked with Masterweaver. He has no idea who filed the suit. I invite you to speculate.

Sect Maniacs, by FoME

Certain constants persist across all instances of a given person, and one of them is that Twilight Sparkle will always be concerned about tardiness. This particular Twilight could teleport to Canterlot High moments before the first bell… in theory. In practice, that required enough power to leave her giddy, exhausted, and in no condition to pay attention for several class periods. Instead, she rode a bus that got her there a good half an hour before the school day began. Sometimes, she saw faculty driving or flying to work.

Today, she saw Sunset Shimmer repeatedly hitting her head against the Wondercolt statue’s plinth.

Twilight teleported to her side and grabbed her shoulders. “Sunset! Stop! What’s wrong?”

Sunset swung her head forward again, though much more slowly, just resting it against the marble. She sighed. “It’s nothing important. Just really stupid.”

“Are you okay?”

“Fine. Magical reinforcement.”

Twilight felt some tension leave her. “Is it the lawsuit?”

“No, that cleared itself up pretty fast.” Sunset straightened up and ran a glowing hand over the thin cracks in the statue, mending them. She turned around, revealing a wholly unmarred face. “Since no one’s actually drafted any magical laws other than my suggestions and most religions and I have agreed to mutual non-interference—“

“Don’t you fight malicious deities?”

“Yeah, but gods aren’t religions. Point is, no court on the planet would actually rule on the suit. Plus, I still don’t know who filed the thing in the first place.” Sunset grimaced. ”I guess I could find out, but that would be horribly invasive.”

“Then what’s wrong?”

Sunset sighed again as she slumped against the statue. “Do you follow my magic safety vlog?”

Twilight sat next to her. “Yes, but I don’t check EweTube that regularly. Why?”

“Well, I’ve covered the most obvious dangers, so I thought it would be a good idea to talk about Equestria. Give people some context, show them a culture that developed with magic and the need to use it responsibly.”

Twilight nodded. “Seems reasonable.”

“Of course, just talking about a place no one’s ever seen wasn’t going to work well, so I included some visual aids. Your counterpart took some photos of towns and ponies that I included in the video.” Sunset gave a tired grin. “You really should watch it. You’d love it.”

“I will. So, what went wrong?”

Sunset tilted her head back and groaned. “I underestimated the stupidity of the Internet.”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Let me guess: There’s porn.”

That got a snort. “Yeah, but I expected that. See, I also showed everyone what I looked like back home.” Sunset’s headgem lit up, and a three-dimensional illusion of an adorable little unicorn manifested before the two girls, standing at about eye level.

A high-pitched squeak slipped out of Twilight’s mouth. She covered it, but couldn’t hide her wide-eyed wonderment. Her hands muffled her words a bit. “It’s like it’s specifically designed to appeal to the part of my psyche that’s still six years old.”

Sunset chuckled. “Yeah. Though if I went home now, I’d probably be taller and have wings. Still, about forty percent of the comments were about cuteness. Or diabetes, which apparently counts.”

Twilight folded her hands in her lap, gripping her hands in one another so she wouldn’t try to pet the illusion. “So, what went wrong?”

“Well,” said Sunset, bitterness creeping into her voice, “it seems there’s a new branch of Shimmerism now.”

“What?”

“In a matter of hours, people decided they’d rather worship me as a unicorn than me as a human. And this group is calling themselves, I kid you not, ‘The Church of the Divine Bacon Horse.’” Sunset shook her head. “So, yeah. That’s why I’m beating my head against a wall.”

After a few seconds, Twilight said, “Honestly? I’m tempted to join you.”

Author's Notes:

Inspired by this video review of Sugarcatharsis (Relevant bit starts at 1:36.)

Heroes of the Tropical Storm, by Maran

“Apple Bloom, get in here!” yelled Granny Smith.

From another room, Apple Bloom immediately hollered, “Ah didn't do it this time!”

“Ah know that,” replied Granny. “Ah jus' reckoned you and yer pals would wanna see these flyin' folks breakin' up a hurricane.”

Her granddaughter walked into the living room, followed by Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle.

Granny waved her hand at the TV. “See, after all the bad news lately, here's a story 'bout folks usin' their powers for good!”

Sweetie smiled as she watched the pegasus-aspected people zoom over the giant mass of clouds. “That's really cool.”

Scootaloo, however, looked disappointed as the scene switched to a satellite view. “That's nice, I guess.”

Granny turned and gazed at the girl with sympathy. “Ah'm sorry child, Ah didn't think how it'd make ya feel to watch folks flyin' when you're . . .”

“It's not that.” Scootaloo quickly shook her head. “I never expected to have magic powers at all, so I'm happy with what I've got.”

“Then what is it?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Well, when Granny Smith said they were breaking up a hurricane, I imagined them slicing it like a pizza.” She moved her palm vertically in a cutting motion. “But all they're doing is spreading out the clouds and slowing down the wind before it hits the coast. It's a bit of a let down.”

Apple Bloom tilted her head and stared at the map of the Baltimare area smothered in clouds. “Slice it like a pizza? That sounds mighty dangerous and impractical.”

Meanwhile, just outside of Baltimare . . .

“Private Dust, what in Hades were you thinking?”

Lying secured on a stretcher, Lightning Dust's gaze meandered vaguely in Captain Spitfire's direction, but didn't quite make contact with her eyes. “I just wanted to break up the storm as fast as possible. Ma'am.”

“After I specifically ordered you not to try to slice it like a pizza!” Spitfire paced alongside the stretcher as the emergency technicians pushed the Lightning Dust into the hospital.

“It wasn't like slicing a pizza.” The private shook her head and winced at the motion. “It was like punching a ball of dough.”

“A ball of dough the size of three commonwealths that was whizzing around at a hundred miles an hour,” retorted Spitfire.

Lightning Dust drew a raspy breath and sighed. “Yeah, that's a good way to describe it.”

“Well, if you're ever dumb enough to live through another stunt like that, I'll kill you.”

“Fair enough.”

Author's Notes:

Sadly, this one's pretty noncanon... though not entirely. Most weather takes place above safe altitudes, but people might be able to directly interact with major vortex systems. That said, Lightning Dust is probably around Dash's age.

Metamorphosis, by Masterweaver

"Okay. First question: How."

"Well, while Sour Sweet hasn't actually joined the Wholesome, she did drop by our dream-world hub, we got to talking, and she mentioned what you did for her--"

"That's not how, that's why."

"Fine. It turns out that I, too, can 'exchange' magic between individuals. Something about love entanglement, I think, or maybe just my shapeshifting."

"Alright. Continue with why."

"Well, while my religion is known for our sexual practices, those are actually derived from our social practices. It is our belief that everyone is born incomplete, and that completion only comes from others. This, this is a way for others to complete each other in a non-sexual manner."

"...surprisingly, I can see that... and you're not just shifting people for giggles?"

"No. I can't just shift one person's magical trait, it has to be an exchange... and I haven't tried unwilling exchanges, yet. It might be possible, but I don't want to go down that moral grey area. Everyone that comes for the service has to find a partner, and I do check that it's not just 'forehead gems are cooler' or 'I wonder what it would be like to fly,' it has to be a genuine need and a genuine service."

"Okay. Maybe it's just my Equestrian social conditioning making me see this as creepy. But... I guess you seem to be responsible with this..."

"Of course. I'm a full grown adult, caring for hundreds of my children."

"Just... keep me posted with the switching, okay? I got a prayer from a trans-tribe kid who was afraid to go home after swapping his lightbow for super strength. Nothing bad came out of it, thankfully, but..."

"Ah, yes, that. Alright, I'll keep you in touch."

Divine Comedy, by CrossRedstone and FoME

(CrossRedstone)

“—and it was going just fine! How should I know the cloud would discharge a lightning bolt, roasting our TV?!” Rainbow Dash complained, finishing her story.

The other girls, even Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie, could only facepalm at their friend’s latest attempt of a prank. Apparently, the rainbow haired girl thought it would be a good idea to wake her father up with a raincloud. Only this cloud had been fully electrically charged and well, the results spoke for themselves.

“Honestly, Rainbow Dash. Did you even consider what you could have done with your carpet?” Rarity chided. Everyone looked.

“What?” Rainbow deadpanned. “The carpet?”

“Why, yes! Don’t you know how easily it can be damaged, when—” That was as far as Rarity got, when suddenly the window to the music room was broken from an outside force, which came in form of a red and yellow blur. Everybody jumped in surprise, letting out various shrieks, their gazes fixed on the spot where the blur landed. As soon as the dust settled, they saw it was their friend and now goddess Sunset Shimmer lying on the ground, eyes unfocused and letting out groans of pain.

“Urrgh, the pain… is real…”

“SUNSET!” Everyone exclaimed, rushing to her side.

“Can you hear me?”

“Are you alright?”

“What happened?!”

“Doctor, we need a doctor!”

“Stop!” Sunset shouted, before her friends got any more hysterical. She pushed herself up from the ground and dusted off her clothes. “I’m fine girls. See? No bruises.”

The girls were of course relieved to see her okay, but that still begged one question.

“What in Tartarus just happened?!” Twilight exclaimed. “What did you do?”

Sunset shook her head, some glass shards falling out of her hair. Upon noticing the damage she did, she fixed everything, before telling the girls.

“Well, I came up with a few of my own theories of Pinkie’s... let’s say unique magic.” Everybody flinched immediately. “H-hey! I took all necessary precautions! I put myself in a dimensional space pocket, put a dimensional space pocket in the space pocket, repeated the process four times, got myself some survival gear and a helmet.”

“A helmet.” Twilight deadpanned. “And what was the survival gear for?”

“In case I landed in another dimension, where all magic is nullified for some reason.” Sunset explained. “Besides, it contained things I may have forgotten.”

“I can list two hundred fifty three.” Twilight stated.

“Moving on” Sunset made a gesture “in short, I couldn’t figure it out, so I came back and was just on my way to school, when I got hit by a car.”

….

….

“Wait, wut?” Applejack blinked. “Ya got hit by a car?!”

“Yeah, aren’t you supposed to know everything that’s happening and going to happen and has happened, has not happened, but happened anyway and might happen, if not mmmph, mm, mmmph…”

Rainbow put a hand on Pinkie’s mouth.

“You got hit. By a car. YOU of all people.”

“Well the experience was...enlightening. I now know how Pinkie’s magic works, having accidentally used it for the first time myself.”

Twilight teleported in front of Sunset, a crazy grin on her face and her hair looking just a little astray.

“Tell. Me. EVERYTHING!!”

“I-I-I’m not sure, Twi!” Sunset stammered. “That knowledge might prove to be-”

“TELL ME!!”

“Alright, alright, fine.” Sunset took a few steps back, breathing in and out.

“Okay here it comes. Pinkie’s magic basically is…”

Everyone looked at her in anticipation.

“Cartoon logic.”

(FoME)

Pinkie rolled her eyes. "Well, duh."

Sunset blinked. "What?"

"I'm going to need more detail than— Hold on." Twilight glared. "You're telling me that you, the sole stabilizing influence on what is still a very fragile universe, performed an experiment that could've shunted you out of that universe?"

Sunset met her gaze with nary a flinch. "It would've been a very small fraction of my power and awareness. Besides, after all of my safety precautions, the odds of that happening were around one in sixteen trillion." She turned to Pinkie. "Now, what do you mean, 'duh'?"

"You have to admit, Sunset," said Rarity, "'cartoonish' is certainly one of the first words that come to mind when describing Pinkie's antics." The others nodded.

Sunset flushed. "In my defense, Equestria doesn't really have animation, and I was too busy feeling superior to the techno-barbarians to take in much pop culture before you all rainbowed some sense into me."

Twilight quirked an eyebrow. "'Techno-barbarians'?"

"This was back when I was queen bitch of CHS."

"Sounds pretty cool to me," said Dash. "Like a bunch of guys with titanium loincloths and chainsaw-axes."

"Remind me to tell you about Hyperspace Hyperwars some time," said Twilight. She turned to Sunset. "Now, if you could elaborate on what you meant by 'cartoon logic'—"

"Nope!" Pinkie interposed herself between them, an arm stuck out to either side. "You two are not having that discussion."

Twilight and Sunset looked over Pinkie's shoulder, each seeing a confused look on the other. "What?" said both.

Pinkie turned to face Sunset. "Think about it. You're basically a god."

Sunset looked away. "Only by certain definitions of the term."

"Someone hit you with their car."

"You're still on that?" Sunset rolled her eyes. "Look, the driver and the car are both fine, and I just bruised my ego. Plus, I did manifest in the middle of the road."

Pinkie nodded. "Yes. You, mistress of this world, popped in where you didn't mean to." She leaned in close. "This is dangerous magic, you're toying with Sunset."

"But—"

"Butts are for sitting. Trust me on this one. Leave. Comedy. To the professionals. Do you understand?" Pinkie's voice echoed with those last words, her eyes azure pools of light.

Sunset nodded, in a similar state. "Yes, Laughter."

Applejack cleared her throat. "Anyone else gettin' real creeped out?"

"I've got this." Twilight put a hand on each glowing-eyed girl's shoulder. "Alright, you two, snap out of it. You're flesh and blood, not intangible concepts." She gave each a shake for good measure.

Sunset blinked and shook her head, her eyes back to normal. "Right. Thanks."

"Good thing, too," Pinkie said, all smiles. "If I were an intangible concept, how could I eat cake?"

A Juicy Story, by Maran

“And it must be a slow news day because Sonata has a story about food.” Adagio gave the camera a deadpan stare before turning to her co-anchor.

“Actually Dagi, I'm not reporting on food because it's a slow news day,” answered Sonata with a winning smile.

“Don't call me Dagi.”

Sonata shrugged. “Whatever sinks your boat. As I was saying, it's not a slow news day. This is my new segment, Sonata's Food News, where I report the latest trends in the food and restaurant business.” Staring directly into the camera, she continued, “If you've gone grocery shopping, eaten out, or bought any food at all over the past few months, you probably experienced sticker shock at how cheap it is. The reason for that is, of course, magic. Earth-aspected farmers are growing larger crops more frequently in a wider range of growing zones. A bigger supply with the same demand equals lower prices. So entrepreneurs in the food industry are developing unique new foods to make up for lost profits. Canterlot's own Berry Punch Vineyard has the new Triple Grape Surprise. I can't see it, but there should be a digitally imposed image of a giant grape next to my head. They look like plum-sized red grapes on the outside, but inside are three layers of different varieties: red, green, and purple. With three times the antioxidants and fiber, this is one super duper food! It also makes a pink wine which I've heard pairs well with desserts.

“Not to be outdone, Sweet Apple Acres created a new Cinnamon Swirl Gala Apple, which you should see to my left. What's amazing about this fruit is that the cinnamon flavor typically comes from the bark of the cinnamon tree, yet they got it to swirl inside these apples. They're planning on unveiling even more cinnamon varieties this fall.

“But it's not just earth-aspected people who are getting creative with food. Donut Joe, a unicorn-aspected baker, has the Frozen Custard Donut. As the name suggests, it looks like a regular filled donut, but the filling is frozen custard! The donut stays warm on the outside and cold on the inside. So now you can eat frozen custard for breakfast and feel only a little bit weird about it.

“Health officials and medical schools are barely beginning to study the impact of magic on human health. There is also intense debate among experts who care about such things over whether any food can truly be certified organic these days. There's no doubt that the new varieties of fruit are unnatural, but even normal-looking food is probably infused with passive magic. But I say magical people should eat magical food! Then again, I'm a humanoid sea monster, so what do I know? I'm Sonata Dusk and that's your food news for today.” She folded her hands with exaggerated primness and turned toward her co-anchor. “Back to you, Ms. Adagio Dazzle, my esteemed colleague.”

Adagio rolled her eyes. “If you're trying to get me to say that I'd prefer to be called Dagi, your efforts are wasted. I do have one question though.”

“You're going to ask me why I didn't mention tacos, aren't you?”

“No, actually I want to ask why you're here when you have your new job as a mad scientist's lovely assistant.”

“I can do both!” exclaimed Sonata in an indignant tone. “Why couldn't I do both?”

“Maybe because you can't even do one job right,” replied Adagio, smirking.

Sonata put her hand over her heart in a theatrical gesture. “You wound me, Ms. Dazzle! I thought we respected each other.”

Adagio's smirk soured as she clenched her fists. “Respect? You tazed me, your leader, and you call that respect?”

“Yep! And you're lucky the director only lets me do that once a week. Now here's Aria with the for-realsies news . . .”

Paler Living Through Chemistry, by Masterweaver

"...which is when Mac walked in. Ya'll can figure out what happened next."

Rarity rolled her eyes. "Well, I'll have a talk with Sweetie Belle, I can guarantee that. Oh!" She reached out and pulled a jar from the shelves. "I didn't know the De Lis company was making skin creams!"

Applejack snorted. "Rares, Ah don't think ya need any skin creams."

"That's kind of you to say, but as a designer in training I simply must keep up with the trends." Rarity flipped the jar in her hand. "Ingredients: acai, hydroquinbione, alpha-lipoic acid--"

"Hold up." Applejack took the jar. "What was that?"

"Alpha-lipoic acid. It's a natural part of biology, which--"

"No, no, Ah'm talkin' bout the hydroquinbione!" The cowgirl groaned as she read the label. "In a skin cream? That's just askin' for trouble."

Rarity blinked. "I've... never really heard of hydroquinbione before. Why are you reacting so strongly?"

"When Ah was a girl, there was a time where our money was hit hard. Ma and Pa bought some soap for me on the cheap--had hydroquinbione in it." Applejack gestured at herself. "Washed the chromelanin right out of me. Now Ah only got ordinary melanin."

"Oh... that would explain why you're so pale," Rarity mused, examining her friend. "...But you're still quite lovely, nonetheless!" she rallied quickly.

Applejack half smirked. "No need ta hide it, Rares, Ah know Ah'm a freak. Course, now Ah'm worried bout this skin cream."

Rarity nodded, taking the jar and putting it delicately back on the shelf. "I'll set up an online petition, get the De Lis company to know about this. Right now, we should talk to the manager..."

Author's Notes:

For those new to the term "chromelanin," you can read my dissertation on the subject here.

Also, hydroquinone is in fact a topical skin whitener.

Fighting Homonormativity, by Masterweaver

"So... hey."

A feeling of greeting.

"...Just so we're clear, you... used to be, uh... a necklace?"

Clarification. Plurality.

"Right, three necklaces, I heard. Um. So... My name's Spike."

Understanding.

"...You have a name?"

Confusion... then, reluctantly, sorrowful negative.

"Oh. How about.... Stonesong? I know it's not that creative but--"

Eager acceptance.

"Oh. Stonesong it is. How have you been doing?"

Sorrow, but tinged with hope. Curious probing.

"Me? Oh, I'm... well, still kind of coming to grips with myself, to be honest. I mean, I wasn't stupid before, I could get feelings and basic concepts, but now I can count and... understand abstractions. You know?"

Amusement, teasing.

"Yeah, yeah, but... you heard about the dolphins right?"

Negativity.

"Well, the dolphins were apparently always intelligent or, you know, at least borderline. With the burst of magic, though, they're finally able to talk and they're... doing politics now. And..."

Gentle, concerned probing.

"...Look, I'm the only thinking dog. At least, I am for now. But if it was done once, it will be done again, and... it's not just uplifts. It's constructed minds, and, uh, things like you that... act, even when humans didn't notice."

Understanding.

"I... I just don't want things to change, you know? I like being a dog, being a pet, but if I... if I become a citizen, that's... I don't know."

Comfort. Reassurance.

"Heh... yeah...."

Author's Notes:

"Thanks for setting this up, Maud."

"I'm very passionate about nonhuman rights. And rocks."

Citrus Blend, by Masterweaver

Author's Notes:

I think I'll just let Weaver explain himself:

So I noticed an inconsistency between some of these snips, and I've decided to correct it in the most ludicrously stupid way possible.

"Oh yeah, neck-fluff is totally hard to keep clean," Lemon Zest agreed.

Rainbow Dash shot her a confused look. "Uh... but..." Her eyes darted between Lemon's fingers and her beaming face. "You've got the finger-hooves! How could you know how neck-fluff works?"

"Well, my bro's a flyer."

"Oh that makes sense. I didn't know you had a brother?"

Sugarcoat put her head in her hands. "Oh, here we go..."

"Yeah, he's a little weird but--actually, wanna meet him?"

"Uh... I guess?" Rainbow shrugged. "Always nice to meet a new flyer."

"Okey-doke! Let me just get him." Lemon Zest closed her eyes, strangely relaxing into her chair.

Rainbow Dash frowned. "...What--?"

"She does this sometimes," Sugarcoat explained. "She's... kind of crazy. You'll see."

Lemon's eyes snapped open and, without any warning, she dived across the table and tackled Rainbow. "OHSHITWATTUP? GOODTAMEETYASISHASSAIDSOMUCHABOUTYA!"

"Uh, what?"

The Shadowbolt picked Rainbow up and shook her head. "ZESTYLIME'SWHAT! I'MLEMON'SLIVEINTWINLONGSTORYBUTITOTESGETYOURWEIRDING! WEWEREWEIRDINGWHENTHISALLGOTDOWNBUTTISCOOLNOWTISCOOL!"

"She used to have a twin," Sugarcoat deadpanned. "He died horrifically. Then she started wearing his icon and saying he lived in her head now."

"Oh." Rainbow blinked. "...Uh, nice to meet you...Zesty Lime?"

"GOODTOMEETYOUTOOTELLYAWATRACETOTHEPARKTHREETWOONEGO! SPEEEEEDBOOST!" A lightbow grew from her back as she shot out the door and took to the skies.

"...what? What?! What?!?!"

Sugarcoat sipped her drink. "Two magics is weird, right? Tell you what, you race her and I'll call Sunset."

Postpartum Confusion, by Masterweaver

"...Um."

Sunset blinked.

"Um," she said again. "Er," she tried. "I mean... okay, by this point I should be used to being thrown weird things out of the blue but..."

She coughed.

"...Look. I'm a magical expert—heck, I'm the magical expert—but that doesn't mean I'm... a doctor. Of any kind. And I get that this is weird, magically, and I'd love to help--or at least find a way that you could get help if this comes up again and again but—"
She paused, trying to figure out how to put it.

"Look, to be frank, I haven't had sex as a human. Let alone... yeah. So, I... look, I have no idea, alright? I'm sorry, I know you're worried, but aside from the strangeness she seems healthy. I mean..." Sunset coughed into her fist. "I get that you were... uh... you know, when I did my magic shebang, but... I really, really can't help here. Like, at all."

Cadence and Shining Armor shared a look.

"...you want to be a godparent?" the dean finally asked.

"Sorry, can't. Churches and all." Sunset sighed, looking at the baby girl cooing in the cradle. "Although, if you like, I can check in on little Flurry Heart regularly. Just to see if she hasn't exploded things."

Author's Notes:

I'm not entirely sure what Flurry's story is. Given Weaver, I'm a little afraid to ask.

Sonnenunterganglied, by FoME

Author's Notes:

The following is an affectionate riff on Oroboro's Sunset Shipping Project. Specifically the last story, For the Love of Sunset. Reading it first is recommended but not compulsory.

With regards to the chapter title, a rough translation is "Song of Sunset," a play on the Nibelungenlied, the epic poem Wagner adapted into Der Ring des Nibelungen, also known as the Ring Cycle. I swear this made sense in my head. And if anyone who actually speaks German wants to correct me on this, by all means, feel free.

Sunset found speaking with Ditzy to be fascinating in the same way as a conversation with Pinkie Pie: The other girl represented a unique perspective that, if taken in too large a dose, would make Sunset question everything she thought she knew.

Sunset rubbed her temples. Right now, she was pretty sure she was getting near the LD50 of Ditzy Doo. "So, let me make sure I have this straight."

"Okay," said Ditzy in their little corner of the study hall.

"You enter this world in the second floor girls' bathroom of CHS."

"Yup."

"You fly headfirst into your local analogue."

Ditzy nodded. "Good to know that I don't explode if I touch myself."

"Phrasing. The two of you manage to break a pipe with your impact."

"Not one of my finer moments, no," Ditzy said with a nervous chuckle.

"You stayed to try to help her."

"Well, I couldn't just wreck everything and leave myself to fix it, could I?"

Sunset smirked. "You inhabit a very interesting realm of grammar. Have I ever told you that?"

"A few times."

"Anyway, the flooding gets bad enough that the floor gives way."

"At least it wasn't under either of me."

"And Twilight's personal lab—which is something she has in that instance of CHS—was directly underneath the bathroom, and the water caused an explosion."

"A magical one at that. I could feel it trying to push me out of that universe."

"Twilight, the Rainbooms, and I were all in the lab at the time. And when we recovered..." Sunset trailed off. The very idea was too much for her to fathom.

Ditzy finished the thought for her. "Every one of them was convinced you were going out with her. And you had memories that agreed with each of them."

Sunset took a deep breath, then said, "I have to ask; given all the student bodies of all of the versions of Canterlot High, is there a single heterosexual girl among them?"

"Well, there's me."

"Oh. Okay then. Good to know."

Perimeter Patrol, by Masterweaver

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaa!"

Rarity glanced skywards. "Is he still up there?"

"Eeeeyep."

"...is anyone going to help him figure out how to land?"

"Rainbow tried a while back. At tha least, she got him ta figure how ta do a consistent circle 'stead o' those figure eights he was doin'."

"Huh." Rarity watched the screaming boy pass by yet again. "I wonder why Sunset hasn't dealt with this."

"Oh, she kinda did. Took one look at him and told Fluttershy ta set up a first aid station fer when he tuckers out."

"That's... kind of callous."

"'parently she's got some more important stuff ta work out. Somethin' bout a space agency experimentin' with teleportation."

"Oh."

"Eeeyup."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaa--!"

Rarity sighed. "Well, I feel for Flash, but I can't think of anything I could do here."

Chance Encounter, by Bardic_Knowledge

"So you met another analogue of yourself."

"Even better, this one knew exactly what I'd been going through."

Sunset gave a quizzical head-tilt as Ditzy nommed a muffin. After a moment, the grey extra-dimensional human continued.

"I've mostly gotten my literal trips across Equestrias under control, but there was a bit of a resonance thing going on at the time. I was cleaning out my attic, got my foot caught and wound up falling over some bizarre brain-in-a-jar thing."

"Eugh."

"My first reaction, too. But I got a good explanation for it. Apparently, one of her early mentors gave it to her to show her a potential future that wasn't very pleasant."

"Not pleasant how?"

"Think the Cybos from Space Trek and you wouldn't be far off. Except that they don't particularly care if you're dead on conversion, and they treat the conversion religiously."

"I think we've gotten a little off track," said Sunset, looking a little green.

Ditzy nodded. "Right. Anyways, she apparently noticed my entrance because she can see like I can into other dimensions. She said her first trip out was a little less hazardous for her than mine, but at least I didn't leave Equestria. For a given meaning of 'Equestria,' anyways. After she left a note for her husband and daughter, we took a short walk back here."

Sunset took a sharp breath. "Wait, I think I know who you're talking about. Remember what I said about one of your other selves getting in trouble? And I asked if you felt giant-monsterish?"

All Ditzy could do was blink. "Wait, that was her? Good thing she just dropped me off at the bubble instead of coming in when I invited her."

"Well, as long as she wasn't a monstrosity at the time it probably would've been okay, but you never know sometimes. Since it sounds like she's older than either of us, I guess we should bow to her greater experience."

Author's Notes:

I swear I'll get back to My Little Praetor at some point.

Chaos Observation, by FoME

Draconequus Aspect

Once more, I must preface this with a note of an extremely limited sample size, one I can do nothing to rectify. Well, nothing that would contribute to the overall integrity of the cosmos.

Physical Traits: None. As far as I can tell, I don't have a single cell out of place when compared to how I was before the girls gave their prismatic pentagonal pyramid performance (putting aside the usual division and die-off, of course.) Indeed, from a purely physical perspective, I appear to be the only unmodified specimen of Homo sapiens sapiens left on the planet. It actually makes a twisted sort of sense. In this day and age, there is little more surprising or unexpected than the seemingly normal.

Magical Traits: Where do I begin? Where can I begin? The only person who could even begin to understand what it's like is Sunset Shimmer, and she has problems of her own.

I'm not proud of what I did when I first got these powers. After that first snap, there was an indescribable rush, an incomparable thrill, and it only got better with each exertion of my will afterwards. I had my own mental cheering section egging me on to twist reality into a pretzel and take a bite out of it just because I could. It was only when those cheerleaders tried to take the wheel that I decided to kick them out of my mixed metaphor of a mentality.

I'm not proud, but I do understand why I went more than a little mad with power. Aside from the whole "corrupting absolutely" thing, I was finally getting a chance to live my boyhood dream. Not only was magic real, I was a mage! No more poopooing people who dared to dream of something greater than reality just because I knew all of the stumbling blocks in the way. No more sighing longingly at every new work of speculative fiction. I could live the dream, regardless of what that dream actually was.

This has gotten a lot more personal than I meant it to. Fine. I'm the physical embodiment of Chaos and Disharmony, which apparently merit capital letters in this context. If I can't break my professionalism here, when can I?

Interesting. I definitely got a ping off of Ms. Harshwhinny when I typed that.

Aside from being able to detect all forms of dissonance, from emotional aggravation to the faint background hum of entropy, I can literally do anything I put my mind to. Probably. Ms. Shimmer has made a list of very bad ideas to explore. Temporal paradoxes, mass synthesis of antimatter, doing anything with souls, assuming those exist now... Really, it's nothing I wouldn't have avoided on my own. I do have some sense, after all.

And that was a bit of shame from all the way in Equestria. So sorry to disappoint, old friend, but my universe isn't nearly as resilient as yours.

Oh, and I suppose that efforts that don't fall under the banner of "Chaos and Disharmony" are rather more difficult, but with my understanding of how the world works, it's really just a matter of properly justifying it to my own magic. On that note, I do appear to be duty-bound to oppose Ms. Shimmer to maintain balance in the universe, but given how her adjusting the scales back to equilibrium is going to take quite some time, I doubt I'll have to worry about that for the foreseeable future.

Hmm. Note to self: Dust off the old in-case-of-singularity sanity maintenance plans. I'm going to need them.

I suppose I should wrap this up. Let's start over.

Magical Traits: Yes.

Perfect.

Author's Notes:

For more professionally presented aspect descriptions, see the magic worldbuilding thread in the group forum.

Cutting-Edge Technique, by ArtieStroke

Gilda grumbled as she grabbed the plastic bag and her receipt. The sun had barely risen as Gilda walked from the convenience store, heading home. It had become a small ritual: Get up at the crack of dawn, get enough to maybe last more than a week, and get home before anyone could see.

"Yo, G!"

Fate had other ideas this time around.

Gilda nodded her head as Dash jogged up next to her, "Hey, long time no see- what're you doing in this part of town, Dash?"

Rainbow shrugged, slowing down to match Gilda's pace, "Just decided to switch up my morning runs- what about you? It's like, WAY too early for you to be up."

"Errands," Gilda said, shaking the plastic convenience store bag. Rainbow quirked an eyebrow.

"Errands?"

Gilda groaned, "Jeeze, what're you my mom? If you really gotta know- I've been running out of razors," she said, pulling out a little plastic case of cheap PiNC-brand razors.

"I've been going through like three packs a month just for my legs," Gilda said as she stuffed the razors back, "It's super annoying."

Rainbow frowned, humming as she thought. "But... don't you have those, like, magic Wolverine claws now?"

"Yeah? Your point?"

"Well, what the heck do you need razors for anyhow?" Rainbow exclaimed, "You could totally like- do what they do in those old war movies! Except instead of a knife, it's a weird magic claw thingy."

"... Huh."

Gilda sat in her tub, staring from her hand, back to her leg, and repeating it a few times. She took in a deep breath.

Snikt.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!"

Turns out shaving with a sharp, invisible force field was a bad idea.

Author's Notes:

See the link in the last chapter for more on griffon-aspected people. Suffice to say, their bottom halves have very active follicles.

And yes, PiNC also makes lighters and pens.

Not Quite Ambrosia, by FoME

Technically speaking, Sunset didn't need to eat anymore. She also didn't need to breathe, blink, eliminate waste, or perform several other once vital functions. However, she still did most of them as part of her effort to stay rooted to everyday existence and concerns. She'd only foregone two: sleep, because there just weren't enough hours in the day even when she had all twenty-four of them; and her reproductive cycle, because like Tartarus she was putting up with that when she didn't have to.

But eating? Eating was a joy, especially for friends of Pinkie Pie. And now she'd been able to recapture a long-lost part of that joy. Acquiring the materials had been simple enough, if pricey. To Sunset's knowledge, the finished product had never been assembled on Earth before. She took the pioneering creation in her hands and brought it to her mouth.

Bite.

Chew.

Appreciative hum.

Sunset swallowed the bite of her daffodil sandwich. "It's so nice to have my old taste buds back," she said to herself.

Author's Notes:

Not every story needs to give Sunset a headache as she babysits a planet full of nigh-suicidal apes. She deserves the occasional unquestionably happy moment.

Supernal, by ArtieStroke

"I really shouldn't do this..."

"Give yourself a break, you were young once too! You owe it to the little girl you used to be!"

"But it's so... juvenile."

"Oh, one building couldn't hurt, right?"

Celestia took in a deep breath, looking up at the office building in downtown Canterlot. It was easily fifteen stories.

"It's now or never, Celestia," she thought to herself. She crouched down, feeling the rays of the sun hit upon her skin. It was... empowering.

"Up, up..." She whispered, and jumped...

Luna flopped onto the couch, the local news already playing on the TV as she flipped through her phone to check emails. Another long school day, and she was beat.

"In local news," the anchor said with a sort of forced cheer, "It's not a bird, it's not a plane, but it appears that the last woman from Croupton was seen leaping over tall buildings in a single bound in downtown Canterlot today! The pictures of this mysterious non-Pegasus aspected woman clearing skyscrapers like an Olympic hurdler have been making their way across social media."

Luna paused what she was doing, a look of shock spreading across her face as a blurry photo of a certain aurora-haired woman clearing the Crystal Empire State Building superimposed itself next to the news anchor's head.

"All I have to say is train conductors better watch their backs before she decides to start racing locomotives for kicks! Back to you, Bob."

The scene changed back to the boring male anchor, who shuffled a few papers, "Thank you, Aerith. Next up! Trans-tribalism: Reborn in the wrong body? Stay tuned!"

Luna's jaw dropped as it cut to commercial. Slowly, she closed her mouth, before turning around on the couch.

"TIAAAAAAAA! YOU HAVE SOME EXPLAINING TO DO!"

Author's Notes:

Thankfully, Celestia is more original Siegel-and-Shuster Superman than Silver Age asshat Superman. Don't expect her to toss planets or develop super-weaving powers anytime soon.

Reasonable Doubt, by Masterweaver

"Don't tell me you believe that magic tripe! It's aliens, man! It's all aliens!"

Meringue put down his sandwich and gave Trail Mix a flat look. "Aliens."

"Yeah, man! Like, how else are you going to explain all the psychic powers and the mutant mumbo jumbo? The galactic confederacy genebombed us man! There's no other explanation!"

"So, the whole magic spells thing—"

"Psychic nanobots, man!"

"... And that message from Sunset Shimmer—?"

"Pff. OBVIOUSLY she's just an AI that's focused on directing our culture to join the confederacy."

"You know something, Trail Mix? Sometimes, I just can't believe you."

"You've just got to keep an open mind, man!"

Chibi-Doosa, by Masterweaver and FoME

(Masterweaver)

"Hum-de-diddly dee, and now I've done laundry! Something something da-da-dee-da, something something doop-da-de-YAAAA!" Ditzy clutched her chest, gasping for a couple of seconds before letting out a relieved giggle. "Sunset! Whoa, you startled me. How did you—? No, wait, superpowers. Okay, new question, why are you here?" She took in the other girl's unamused face and crossed arms. "I mean... did I stumble over some quantum string that was important to reality or something?"

"Oh believe me," Sunset growled, "it's nothing you've done."

"...So... is it something I'm going to do? Because the emphasis there, on the past tense, kinda suggests..." Ditzy's voice trailed off as she noticed the other girl, one half her age, trying desperately to hide behind Sunset's legs. "Awwww." She knelt down, holding a hand out to the greyish-pink kid. "Hey there. Did Sunset Shimmer scare you? Don't worry, she's only scary when she's scared. It's alright. What's your name?"

"...I'm Dinky." The little kid cautiously took her hand. "Dinky Doo."

"Nice to meet you, Dinky! I'm Ditzy Doo." The gray girl shook her hand, taking in the odd gem in the child's forehead. "Now, I'm not going to say you did something to scare Sunset, but I'm pretty sure Sunset's going to tell me something got her mad. Do you know anything about that?"

"Um." Dinky cleared her throat. "Well... You see, it's... I mean, Mom loves me and all, but—"

"Somebody," Sunset deadpanned, "was apparently so busy with hyperdimensional operations that they came to the entirely logical conclusion that the best way to spend time with their daughter was to send her back to when she had the time to spend."

"Oh really?" Ditzy smiled innocently. "Well, until we find this young lady's mother, I'd be happy to look after her!"

Sunset looked at her flatly.

"...I mean it!"

Sunset looked at her flatly.

"...No, seriously, I'm great with kids!"

Sunset looked at her flatly.

Dinky cleared her throat. "My mom's name is Ditzy."

"Wow! That's such a coincidence! That's my name too!"

"You know what?" Sunset threw up her hands. "Not even going to push it. This works."

(FoME)

"Hi, Grandma."

Mistral Lace froze and very, very slowly turned to look at the little girl smiling up at her. "Excuse me?"

The girl, who did resemble Ditzy at that age to a frightening degree, smiled and said, "Time shenanigans," as though that would explain everything. Or, indeed, anything.

"There you are!" Ditzy herself emerged from the laundry room, hauling a basket full of clean clothes.

Mistral looked back and forth between the two. "Ditzy, is there something you'd like to tell me?"

"Hmm? Oh, right." Ditzy knelt, put the basket down, and ruffled the younger girl's hair, eliciting a giggle. "I'll tell you all about it when I'm done screaming internally."

"Do you ever get used to this sort of thing?"

Ditzy's smile grew sardonic. "I go to Canterlot High, Mom. I've gotten used to this sort of thing."

Twilight opened her mouth, paused, shook her head, and said, "I have so many objections to this that I don't even know where to begin."

"Look, it's very simple," said Ditzy. "Have you ever seen Sailor Luna?"

"I know of it, mostly through pop cultural osmosis. Girls younger than us with legs like the principals' fight eldritch horrors in miniskirts." Twilight frowned. "Er, the girls wear the miniskirts, not the horrors."

Ditzy tilted her head from side to side. "Sometimes it's both."

"I'll take your word for it."

"The point is, I'm kind of in the middle of one of the plotlines. My daughter from the future is staying with us for a while because apparently I'll think that's a good idea." Ditzy hummed to herself. "Or just to keep to the whole 'acausal loop' thing going. I could definitely see me doing that."

Twilight held up a hand. "We appear to be moving into a whole new area of headaches."

"Right, let's try to focus on this one. So, since I'm apparently Moon Bunny now, what with my blue and red best friends, I need a talking animal mascot, and I heard about how your dog can talk now."

"Yeees." Twilight drew out the word as her face twisted into further incredulity. "Principally about squirrels and the chasing thereof, though he is taking an interest in nonhuman sapients' rights. And you want to borrow him just to fulfill some narrative trope?"

"Well, that or ask you to do it to something else."

Several half-formed words escaped from Twilight's mouth before she shook her head and took a deep breath. "Before I begin a very long dissertation on all of the things wrong with that, I should ask, would you be satisfied if I simply told you 'no'?"

Ditzy thought about this for a moment. She shrugged. "Yeah, probably. Besides, it should really be a cat."

"Again, I'll take your word for it."

Intriguing Indifference, by SaintAbsol

The man sighed as he sat in the airport terminal, leaning back in the uncomfortable seats as he watched the board overhead for any information about his eventual boarding time. It was all he could do, given the unexpected delay and him not wanting to dig through his luggage for a book or the like

And it gave him something else to focus on besides the fact a large number of people were staring and wondering why a man with the pegasus aspect was waiting to board a plane at all.

"Well, isn't this an odd sight?"

The man jumped as he didn't remember anyone sitting next to him, nor could he recall when the strangely... mundane-looking man had sat down. The stranger's yellow and red eyes had an unnerving gleam to them as they appraised him, making the man shift about in his seat. "Can I... help you?"

"Just curious, is all," the stranger said. "I think you're well aware as to what."

The man sighed, running a hand through his two-tone, white and rust colored hair. "Yeah, you and everyone else," he grumbled. The man gave a halfhearted glare at the various other would-be passengers, who hastily pretended they weren't look at him. "Is it really that hard to believe? I mean, I can't be the only guy with wings who flies on a plane."

"No, but the ones that do that usually have some variant of acrophobia; and I can tell that's not the case for you."

"How?"

The stranger's eyes seemed to glow as he gave a crooked smile. "I can."

The man opened his mouth, but just shook his head. "Whatever..."

"So," the stranger continued. "Why aren't you flying on your own?"

The man groaned. "Why should I?"

The stranger raised an eyebrow, but remained smiling. "Because you can? And you wouldn't have to deal with this delay, or the outrageous fees for your luggage, or the ticket itself."

"And I can just walk there if I really wanted. I still don't see why I should do something just because I can."

The stranger put a hand to his chin, still smiling. "Well, then why shouldn't you?"

The man shrugged. "I just... don't like to fly."

"You feel like your aspect is wrong?"

The man shook his head. "No, I don't really care what aspect I have, not like I'd get much use out of any one in particular."

That seemed to catch the stranger's interest. "So... if you had... say... the unicorn aspect, you wouldn't see much use for telekinesis?"

"Last I checked, I still had hands."

"And the earth aspect?"

The man shrugged. "I don't do a lot of heavy lifting or work outdoors or the like. So... yeah, I can't say I'd get much use out of it either."

"Interesting..." The man rubbed at his chin, his eyes gleaming again. "You could be interesting to keep an eye on..."

"You're incredibly creepy, you know that?"

The stranger chuckled, lightly clapping his hands together. "And blunt to boot, I'm looking forward to this."

"To wh—"

The board overhead flipped to show new times, and a call rang out over the PA system. "Now boarding: Flight 217, Canterlot to Whinniapolis."

The man blinked as he heard his flight called, and grabbed his luggage. "Look, I have to ge—" And he stopped short again as he realized the stranger was no longer seated next to him, nor did he appear to be anywhere in the immediate area. "...Ugh," the man groaned. "I miss when things were simple..."

Author's Notes:

Meet Coffee Swirl, the man who doesn't care about the world changing.

On the Fists of a Dilemma, by ArtieStroke

"Lunch monies!" Rover growled over the huddled trio of younger students. The ground rumbled next to them as his other two lackeys burst from the ground.

"Yeah! Lunch monies! Gives them to us!"

Sweetie Belle frowned, stomping her foot on the ground, "Oh, come on! This is hardly fair; you're like three grades held back compared to us!"

The three Diamond Boys looked at each other for a moment before bursting out in laughter.

"Not fair, she sayses!"

"She complains worse than her sister!"

A quiet voice cleared her throat behind them, causing all manner of heads to turn. Lily Longsocks, her purple pigtails flapping the breeze, stood behind them all.

"I think, um, maybe it would be better if you could, maybe pick on someone your own size?" She suggested, timidly but also with a hint of boredom. Rover raised an eyebrow, before nodding to Spot to take care of this interloper. The smallest of the trio of bullies stalked his way over to the girl, who just sighed.

"Okay."

To be fair, the punch didn't look like much effort was put behind it. The resounding "CRACK" and quickly fading scream in the distance said otherwise, and where Spot once stood there was a single, small and steaming fist.

The remaining two Diamond Boys blinked once, before holding their hands up and fleeing the scene with a terrified scream. Lily Longsocks looked at her fist for a moment, before sighing sadly.

"Just one punch, again..."

Author's Notes:

The talk of Dinky as Chibi-Usa got Artie's muse going along a similar theme.

For those unclear, Lily is the human analogue of the super-strong, hedgehog-marked filly from "Crusaders of the Lost Mark."

School of Guilds, by Bardic_Knowledge and FoME

(Bardic_Knowledge)

"So, why are we here?" asked Sonata.

"Well, my dear, as part of my ongoing efforts to catalogue the new ways of the world-slash-universe, I've come to discover that this one campus has more magical diversity than any one country you'd care to name. Not counting the one we're in right now, of course."

Sonata pouted for half a second before finding the sign that would tell her their exact location.

It was as Discord had said. Almost everywhere she looked, Sonata saw someone who could be considered quite strange, even to an ex-immortal half-siren like herself. There were tree people, mossy people, froggy people, people who had to duck to walk through doors because their heads scraped the ceiling, a couple guys completely covered in fire, the list went on.

But before they could really get into studying the student bodies, they had to speak to the administration.

"Hopefully, Niv is actually in this week. He's usually off in his personal lab doing some project or other. We actually collaborated once. Either way, Vice Principal Beleren should be in. He takes everything seriously."

(FoME)

"Ugh..."

A familiar voice came in all too clearly, Sonata's ears capturing the sound no matter what her headache might have to say about. "Subject is reviving. Unconsciousness lasted one hour, fifty-seven minutes, eleven point three-eight seconds. How are you feeling, Sonata?"

"Shh..." She winced as even her own shush made her skull pound. She tried to open her eyes, flinched, at kept them at slits to block out the blinding glare blasting out of the NAHTI's overhead lights.

To his credit, Mr. Discord did at least try to quiet down. "Subject appearing to exhibit symptoms similar to a hangover."

After a few more moments of adjustment, Sonata sat up on the bench on which she'd been passed out and croaked, "I almost completely dried out once back in Equestria. I still felt better than I do now."

"So that's a 'no' on the synthetic negative energy, then."

Sonata tried nodding and stopped once she started getting feedback. "Definitely."

Mr. Discord drummed his fingers against thin air, making actual drum noises. "Drat. Well, I'll get in touch with Niv. He's always been good for ideas."

Sonata's eyes widened. "Niv?"

"Niv-Mizzet. Principal of Ravnica High? Fascinating fellow; might even be smarter than me. We were roommates after ol' Smoozy got expelled; long story there, don't ask."

"That place is real?"

"We went there just last week. Don't you remember?" Mr. Discord leaned in. "Actually, do you remember?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I do now." Sonata recalled the vice principal, an exhausted looking unicorn-aspected man with skin close to hers trying to do four things at once when they'd met. "Sorry, just a crazy dream."

Author's Notes:

Remember Ravnica High? That never stopped being a thing. Ravnica's in an area with a very high immigrant population, hence the different naming conventions.

Seriously, don't ask about Mr. Discord's first roommate. It's a long, unpleasant, and disgusting story.

Iconoclast, by SaintAbsol

"That was the scene outside the Rich mansion, as the newly formed PAULDRONS society sta—" The television was switched off. It was one of the older models, lacking an internet connection or even a processor to function as a computer, magical or mundane, and wasn't even a flat-screen. By the standards of most teenagers in the world, it was practically an antique.

And one that stopped functioning as the remote was thrown through its screen.

Coffee Swirl, a pegasus aspect who cared so little for flight he'd barely used his wings since they'd appeared on his back, slowly settled back into his chair. He was already regretting having thrown his remote like that, but he really couldn't help it at this point. The fact he still got stared at for choosing to keep his feet on the ground was one thing, and easily ignored, but a special interest group advocating for equality to animals and even rocks?! There was just a point where he simply couldn't take it anymore.

"World's gone to Tartarus," he muttered under his breath, glancing toward the window as the light slowly started to dim in the approaching evening. "And it's not hard to tell who's to blame..."

The sun was well and truly gone from the sky as the community center locked up for the night. The janitor on duty yawned hugely as he checked one of the locks; it had been a long day, made no easier by the 'church' that had taken over one of the rooms.

While Sunset Shimmer regularly expressed her wishes to not be worshiped as a deity, several makeshift shrines and temples had started to pop up in public settings. The one in the community center's common area just happened to be one of the larger ones, complete with a few ever present chairs serving as pews around sizeable sculpture of her icon. It wasn't much, but it served the purpose the Shimmerists intended for it, a place to sing Sunset's praises.

Dusty Sweep had little time for such things, being only a nominal Harmonist before things had changed and only noting the changes to the world in that his back didn't hurt nearly as much as it used to when he lifted the barrels of cleaner off the shelves in the back. He didn't hold anything against the girl, but he could find better things to do than sit an worship someone who didn't want to be worshiped.

Dusty suddenly jumped as he heard something rustle near him, grabbing a sizeable stick from the ground and pointing it at the source. "Who's there?" His eyes darted around, still adjusting to the dark of the night. "I-I'm armed, I swear!" The rustling intensified for a moment, before a racoon scurried across the path, pausing only to look at him before disappearing into the night once more. Dusty blinked, than slowly lowed the stick with a shake of his head. "I'm gettin' paranoid," he muttered, turning to finish locking up.

Then something shattered within and he practically tore the door of its hinges as he took off inside.

More and more doors were thrown open as he rushed through the building, looking for who could have broken whatever that was and trying to figure out what they wanted. There wasn't any money kept on the premises, nor were there all that many things of value to be found in the first place. That meant it had to be some sort of vandal, but what could they-

Dusty's train of thought derailed as he reached the 'chapel' room, and found the sculpture of Sunset Shimmer's icon smashed to bits on the floor. The room's window was open, apparently having been jimmied open from the outside. Dusty swore loudly as he rushed over and stuck his head out, just barely catching a glimpse of someone as they vaulted over the nearby fence, a faint magical glow visible on their back.

Coffee Swirl panted as he ran, his feet pounding the hard pavement as he tried to stay away from lights as much as possible.

He couldn't believe he'd done something so unbelievably stupid and petty! Cops were going to be showing up any moment, possibly literally if they had the unicorn aspect, and the skies weren't safe even if he did want to fly. There was no way he was getting out of this with anything short of a miracle!

And, right on cue, a grey van skidded to a stop, almost running him over as it bounced up onto the sidewalk.

The window was open, letting him see a girl wearing a hoodie that did a remarkable job of concealing her face. "Get in," she said in a no-nonsense tone. "Now, before the police get here!"

Coffee Swirl didn't need telling twice, and just as well too, as she started pulling away before he'd even managed to close the door. "Who the hell are you?"

A few strands of red and yellow hair slipped out from beneath the hood as the girl slammed the gas down. "Someone else who isn't exactly thrilled with the boss-lady."

In a house that no longer adhered to the rules of normal time and space, Johnathan Quincy Discord sipped a glass of chocolate milk with a crooked smile on his face. "Nothing quite like watching a plan come together," he thought out loud. "Now then... just a few more pieces to move, and everything will be in place."

Author's Notes:

I've come to like human Sunset. The universe never intended her to exist, but here she is anyway. (And by "the universe," I mean me. )

Of course, trying to spite Sunset by vandalizing one of her shrines is a bit like trying to annoy your neighbor by weeding his garden, but I'm certainly not going to tell Coffee that.

Crystal Clear Waters, by SaintAbsol

Everfree Lake was still in the night.

Its waters were as glass, reflecting the midnight moon high above.

The noises of the forest were unnaturally faint, and only growing quieter as the midnight hour approached ever faster. Finally, right as the moon was directly overhead, all natural sounds stopped, and bubbles began to rise to the surface of the lake.

More and more came, rising with greater speed and intensity until the center of the lake frothed like it was boiling. Suddenly, from the center of the bubbling mass, a humanoid figure emerged with a guttural yell; it was clad in what looked to be a half-rotted leather jacket, a waterlogged shirt visible beneath it, and a chipped and cracked hockey mask that seemed almost melded to its face. A hand that was indistinguishable from a rotten glove raised a machete as it loosed another bellow into the night air...

And was impaled through the eye socket of the mask by a shining golden arrow.

Sunset Shimmer lowered her hand as she watched the figure sink back into the depths of the lake, turning to the siblings who owned the camp. "That should take care of him for a while, but I'm still working on a way to get rid of things like this permanently."

Gloriosa Daisy nodded, nervously fingering her flower necklace. "So... the camp will be safe to open now, right?"

"Oh, yeah; that arrow will keep him down for at least a year and a half. I may not be able to kill things like him yet, but I can at least make it hard for them to come back."

Timber Spruce just looked at at the lake, the final remnants of the frothing from earlier finally fading away. "Urban Legends," he said, shaking his head. "I almost can't believe it, even with magic."

"Yeah..." Sunset nervously rubbed at the back of her head. "Turns out, if enough people believe in something, even a horror story, it technically counts as mythology. And when there's enough mythology for something, and just the right combination of magic, you can get all sorts of weird things. It's what makes these things so hard to kill for good; since, well, most horror stories don't have a way to kill the monster."

Both of the siblings nodded at that, the sounds of the forest slowly returning to their natural nocturnal levels.

Sunset slipped her hands in her pockets and rocked back on her heels. "Anyway... if there's nothing else, I should probably get going. I may not actually need to sleep anymore, but I'd still like to get a few hours in before school."

Gloriosa shook her head. "No, we should be good now that he's taken care of; have a nice night."

Sunset smiled, and simply vanished, leaving the two of them alone in the night.

Timber yawned and stretched a bit, finally taking his eyes off the lake and back to his sister. "Well, that was easier than I expected. Guess you were right about calling her in."

"I told you it was the right thing to do." Gloriosa tapped her brother on the chest with a smirk. "And you wanted to actually try and fight him."

Timber shrugged. "Call it stereotypical male bravado. I figured we kinda had to." He paused, biting his lip nervously. "You think we should have mentioned... you know?"

Gloriosa tilted her head, then blinked and started to chuckle. "You mean, that old story mom and dad used to tell us to keep us from wandering off into the forest?" She eventually reached the point of full on laughter as she doubled over. "I think Sunset has more pressing issues than something no one outside of our family has even heard of."

Timber eventually joined his sister in laughing, though not as heartily as she did. "Yeah, I suppose you're right. There's probably scarier things out there than Gaea Everfree." Timber chuckled once more, heading back toward the counselor's cabin to get some sleep in himself.

"Yeah," Gloriosa said as she followed. "Probably."

With his back to her, Timber missed as Gloriosa's eyes became pools of black tar with glowing embers for pupils within them, if only for a moment.

Author's Notes:

Canonicity's pretty darn iffy on this one. The necessary belief threshold for a meme to incarnate itself is probably higher than most urban legends will hit. Probably.

Absentee Lords and Ladies, by Masterweaver

For so many years, they had hidden. Hidden from history, from humans, from help and horror. And then...

She.

Even if she did not know of they, and so did not speak, it was not hard to see. A mere glance at humans, and the shift in the world...

Whispers in a thousand thousand places unmapped began to clamor and echo and sing.

The old games were afoot again, but new rules came with them. And now.... now humans were playing too.

They were cautious, of course—who wouldn't be?

But it was time. Time to emerge.

Time to become part of the world again.

"Iron? Or cold iron?"

"Not iron, definitely. Maybe cold iron. They call it aluminum."

"Hmm. What is contained within?"

"Sugary water, with flavors and chemical treatment."

"...what."

"They've found a way to... extract it. Reforge it. It's so common, this is a disposable drink container. Don't shake, the drink froths."

"Change... is to be expected, I suppose. It has been a long time since magic sang, and never has it sung like this."

"There is more. They have... I do not know how to explain it. It is like starfolk magic, only... not magic."

"Not magic?"

"Not how we describe it. If magic were to fall again, it would not be effected. It sings now too, with the new magic and old, but..."

"How common is this?"

"Very common. Households have it whisper through the walls. Carts without beasts move swiftly across great distances. Tiny bricks shout across the void to floating watchers. Sometimes this lets the bricks talk to each other."

"Have they... found the starfolk?"

"I cannot say, it is unclear. But they did make a journey to the moon and back, before magic sang again."

"...if something is this common, there must be knowledge of it in their libraries. Take care, and find us the words of this not magic starfolk magic."

"There is..."

"Yes?"

"There is... an invisible library. Knowledge for all, from all, accessed with not magic, and... now that magic sings, there are creatures in it. But it is common enough."

"How trustworthy is this knowledge?"

"Oh, it depends. I call it a library, but it is more a library of libraries. Some are lies. Some are truth. I could... bring you a gate, but..."

"Iron and cold iron."

"Contained in strange false bone, but... yes. And rare is the gatekeeper that does not demand money. Or proof that we lie not of ourself."

"I see... perhaps take another's gate, then."

"It could be done."

"Good. And have you, at least, found why magic sings again?"

"...The Belled Sorcerer left his gate open. Magic from his world poisoned ours. Then another Sorcerer stepped in... and now the magics are blended, and she keeps the world together as it heals."

"Does she know of us?"

"...I cannot say. I cannot say."

Author's Notes:

Magic hadn't always been as skittish as it was before Sunset reached out to it. Once this world was a bit more magical... and then it suddenly wasn't. This came as quite a shock to those who'd depended on it.

Almost as much as when it came back.

For more on the starfolk, see Masterweaver's Crossworlds Guardian, Sailor Orbital!

S/M.I.L.E. Please, by The wind king

Computers hummed and sang, strange technological songs comprised of pure information floating through the air far faster than any melody really had a right to go. Florescent lights buzzed in the tiled ceiling, their harsh light burning away any shadows in misused corners or under overlooked desks. Footsteps echoed and built in such as small space giving the impression that any unseen observer could turn around and find themself observed.

It was in all exceedingly busy for a room that last week had been a garage, The Man with a Shadow For a Face thought to himself, as the last glowing embers of a cigarette dangled from his lips.

Gnarled and scarred fingers plucked the glowing tube from his lips, before he stubbed it out against the hoof-like fingernails on his other hand. The act didn't even draw a flinch from him, even as the people around him did so, the bustle hiccuping at the sound of embers meeting 'flesh' before everyone turned back to their tasks.

The Man watched for a second more, a mixture of pride and worry on his nonexistent features, before he stepped smartly forwards into the bustling activity which parted around him, whether in reverence or fear he didn't rightly know; so many of the agents here were new to the task, a sad necessity given how the world had changed, was changing even still, and would continue to change with the events yet to unfold. This lack of knowledge galled him as he strode the short distance over to a mop of pink and blue hair above a cream face which was twisted in distaste as report after report flitted across her monitor.

"Agent Drops."

The teenager didn't jump. She didn't shout or squeak or even flinch at the Man's gravelly voice. She merely sighed and twisted her chair as to face him. "Yes, Director?"

"What is the progress on the S/M.I.L.E database?"

"Oh it's just going great, Director." The woman threw her own thick-nailed hands in the air before pulling a sheet of paper out of one the piles on her desk. "Ever since the 'Don't Believe in Monsters or They'll Get You' vlog hit the Shimmerists' site we've had a vicious upswing in monster sightings, urban legend renewals, alien 'abductions', and and conspiracy theorists going on and on about how the government is running some sort of 'monster preserve on an unmarked unlisted island in the middle of the Harmonic Ocean, the Saddlantic Ocean, and the Bermula Triangle."

"And what do you actually have for me?"

"Too many hoaxes to name." Agent Drops sighed before passing the sheet to the director. "However we've had agents in all of these cities reporting in the following."

"Candyman in Chicolto; Birde and Hare in Marenburgh; Jack the Ripper, Springheel Jack, and the Plague Rat all in Londonk; the Sandpoint Devil in, surprise surprise, Sandpoint; numerous reporting of Black Shuck in the Porkshire Dales, the White Mare worldwide?" The director raised his 'eyes' from the densely packed list. "This paints a very bleak picture, Agent Drops."

"And more reports keep on coming in, those are simply the ones that've come in from other agents. There's no telling how many civilians have wandered on something legitimate and not stumbled back out." Another ding of an arriving message rang from the computer's speaker as the overworked teenager swung back to the glowing screen. "If you'll excuse me, sir, I'm too busy at the moment. I'll have a report on your desk by tomorrow morning, Harmony willing."

"I'll see what I can do to lighten your load, Agent Drops. In Vigilo Confido"

"In Vigilo Confido, sir."

Author's Notes:

If canon, this is a few years in the future. I have something different in mind for Bonbon... though I will note that she was once known by Sweetie Drops in this universe. Then Daddy made a mistake at work, and the Witness Protection Program swept in...

But that's a story for another day.

And for those wondering, S/M.I.L.E. stands for Supernatural/Monstrous Intelligence Listing of Earth.

Glamourous, by Masterweaver

"...Hey Pinkie?"

"Yeah Applejack?"

The farmgirl pointed across the road. "Are ya seein' what Ah'm seein'?"

Pinkie followed her finger. "I'm not seein' what you're seein' if you're seein' somethin' strange. All I'm seein' is a guy leanin' against a wall seein' what he can see. Or she. It's an androgynous figure. Which isn't that odd these days. Why, what are you seein'?"

"...Well, he's got... pointed ears. And not like Rares, either, I mean," She made a gesture. "Woooooosh, you know?"

"Like Battleforge elves?"

"Um...?"

Pinkie pulled her phone out, tapping some keys. "Here. These guys."

"...Ya know, he actually looks a lot like that ta me. Ah mean, it's his eyelashes that are big, not his eyebrows, but--"

"Gotcha. You're seein' something I'm not. I know how to solve this." Pinkie pocketed her phone and pranced across the road.

"Wait, Pinkie, what—?"

"Excuse me, sir or madam! Are you currently or have you ever been under any enchantment, spell, or otherwise magical occurance that results in the alteration of your appearance to outside observers?"

The strange person looked at Pinkie. Applejack facepalmed.

"...Yes." The person nodded. "And now, I feel I must leave." They dissolved into sparkles and spiraled away into nothingness.

Pinkie stood there, staring at where they had been standing, up until Applejack joined her. "Pinkie, if somebody is tryin' ta be disguised, Ah don't think askin' 'are ya disguised' is goin' ta help the situation."

"Well, I wasn't expecting him or her to whisk themselves away like that! What was that all about?"

"Don't ask me! Ah don't have a clue!"

Author's Notes:

The only thing the fae fear more than total, complete honesty is laughter at their expense.

The Seven Bonds, by Masterweaver

Author's Notes:

You may be wondering what this could possibly have to do with the Oversaturated World. Keep reading and you'll find out.

Breeze's Bargain, by Masterweaver

"Man. My life sucks."

"Do tell."

"Huh?" Zephyr looked up, only belatedly noticing the beautiful girl leaning against a wall. "Oh! Hey. Wow, I must be really out of it, to miss something as lovely as you."

"Oh, I know. The woes of reality can blind us all." The girl's face was sympathetic. "Why, just this morning, I found somebody had gathered all my things up into a single bag!"

"You got kicked out of your house?" Zephyr gasped. "That's terrible!"

"It would be, if I hadn't had the good fortune to run into somebody who could help me." The girl pouted. "You can... help me, right?"

Zephyr sighed. "I'd like too, but... look, I left my sister hanging, and after that my mom's been super lock-down. I can't even have my smart-phone, just a ten-year-old flipout." He kicked a rock. "It's... it's a long story."

"Well... so long as we're suffering, we can suffer together." The girl breezed off the wall. "And who knows? With magic, many possibilities open up to us."

"Heh, yeah." Zephyr adjusted his shirt casually. "A lot of new opportunities. It's... it's a shame I can't really take advantage of them."

"Because of your mother's restraints?"

"No..." He slumped. "Look. Lady, you really don't want to be with me. I'm... a failure. There, I said it. Everything I've tried, I... I dropped it after a while. I find a talent, and then I just... I just have no skill."

"You lack conviction. Purpose..." The girl slipped a sympathetic hand around his shoulder. "One of the quieter tragedies of this day and age."

"Yeah. I wish I could help you, but—"

"Perhaps," the girl mused, "we could help each other."

"What?"

"I know a spell, a spell to give you a stronger heart. A will to move mountains. If I were to cast it upon you, perhaps... perhaps you could grant me residence in your home?"

"I... I dunno. I still live with my parents—"

"I need very little space. Surely there is a place that is used only for storage?"

"Well..." Zephyr frowned. "I mean... there's the shed where dad keeps his leaf collection. He's got leaves from all over the world--but--"

"I promise," the girl purred, "he wouldn't even know I was there."

"We don't even know each other's names!"

"Hmm." The girl pursed her lips. "...Winter Lights. That is what you may call me."

"I'm Zephyr Breeze."

"And it is a pleasure to meet you." She spun around, looking into his eyes. "Now... do we have an agreement?"

"I..." Zephyr winced. "This won't... hurt, or do weird things to me, right?"

"Oh, trust me, you won't even notice anything besides your newfound confidence."

After a moment, he nodded and stuck out his hand. "Count me in."

"Our pact is sealed."

Raresearch & Dashvelopment, by Masterweaver

"So what is it you wanted me to see, Rarity?"

"Well, Twilight, I thought you might be interested in this. You see, I caught the video of those Wonderbolts dissolving that hurricane, and I asked myself 'Why don't they do more weather management, like handling clouds?'"

"Clouds are too high in the atmosphere. Even if they could fly up there, they couldn't—"

"Couldn't breathe, yes, darling, I did research. However, there are air tanks and airtight suits in the world already. Scuba gear, space suits, all that. Rainbow, do you have it on yet?"

"Give me a moment! It's hard to adjust!"

"You're having Rainbow test this? Rarity, the feathers have to be exposed to the air to generate a lightbow!"

"That is the common wisdom, yes, but! The lightbow is a magical construct. So I thought to myself, if there was a way to transfer magic through a fabric, without transferring air, then it should be possible to make a skin-tight suit which allows featherfolk to fly!"

"Okay! I think I got it!"

"...What's that collar Rainbow's wearing?"

"That is my proof of concept. Twilight, behold: The thaumographic lightbow valve!"

"Huh. That's... actually pretty impressive. Rainbow, you doing okay there?"

"Yeah. It's a little tight, and to be honest I'm having to put more effort in to hover than I usually do. But I'm doing fine."

"Of course, we haven't done any stress testing--how long it lasts, how fast she can go, all that. I know that there's quite a bit of detail in recording that data, and I thought--"

"Right. I need all your notes on how you made this, and then I need to plan some experiments. If it's atmospherically enclosed and temperature resistant, that could theoretically enable you to fly to space! I wonder if this only works for pegasus aspected people. If you could make a headband..."

Author's Notes:

Pegasus aspects can project their wings through anything that's sufficiently air-permeable, including most fabrics. Silk presents problems. Pressure suits? Forget about it... unless the fabric's magically conductive.

Botanical Supplements, by Masterweaver

Fluttershy yawned, her voice just a little out of sync with her vocal cords, and swung her legs out from her sheets with an audible creak. She idly scratched some twigs from her hair as she stood, eyes twitching underneath still closed lids while her feet dragged her slowly to the bathroom. The sound of water falling managed to trigger a reaction, and she blearily let the light in to see her hand had turned the shower on without any conscious decision from her. An inexorable groan marked her dragging her feet into the chamber, faintly smiling as the water began to pool around her gnarled toes.

Slowly, her mind grumbled to more and more activity. Her hands went to the unseeded flowerpot resting next to the shampoos, scrubbing the soil within over the rough skin of her feet. She giggled as a flower in her hair began to bloom, and twirled her long hair in the falling stream. The bathrobe she wore slipped off when she remembered it, letting her scrub her skin with the special soap Tree Hugger had made. Idle song, not unlike that of a bird, began to pour from her lips as she tended to herself.

When the last of the soil caked around her toes had swirled down the drain, Fluttershy finally turned off the water and reached out for a towel. She paused as she walked by the mirror, tilting her head at the petals atop her head. Her fingers reached up to it... and then, with a whimsical smile, she lowered them. With a towel around her she walked into the hall, humming some odd Coltic tune.

Author's Notes:

Definitely iffy on this one's canonicity.

Not How to Make Skooma, by FoME

Crystal Prep's library was, like all other aspects of it, the best money could buy. Shelves filled more floor space than most apartments, and every computer was top of the line. Not that that counted for much; the web browsers didn't have a blacklist but a whitelist of permitted websites, and every potential new addition had to get Principal Cinch's approval. As such, it was one of the few high school libraries in the country where students still did a considerable amount of research with physical books.

Two of them sat side by side, each reading a voluminous text. After several minutes, Moondancer cleared her throat. "So."

"Yes?" Sugarcoat said with signature sharpness.

"I heard you went to see Twilight Sparkle the other day." It would've been a carefree tone had it come from someone who hadn't once dismissed chitchat as what lesser minds did instead of think.

"Through Lemon Zest, I assume."

"She was loudly scorning everyone for not participating and getting to see, and I quote, 'the kawaii-as-balls shoujo-ai up ins.'"

Sugarcoat put down her book, her brow furrowed. "Translation?"

"I'm not entirely sure. It's why I brought it up."

"That and your crush on Twilight was vastly more obvious than mine."

Moondancer blushed all but shoving her face into her book. "I don't know what you're talking about."

An indigo shape came closer in her peripheral vision. "You even copied her hairstyle."

Moondancer brought a hand to her bun, secured with an elastic band through which she'd threaded her crescent-moon icon. "I thought it looked nice."

"That's certainly one reason," said Sugarcoat. "Why are you bringing this up?"

"Well..." Moondancer put down the book, took a deep breath, and faced Sugarcoat. "How did it go?"

Sugarcoat scowled more deeply than usual and looked away. "She wasn't interested."

Moondancer bit her lip. "B-because of orientation, or—"

"I don't know if they've made it official yet, but she's basically dating God."

It took a few moments for Moondancer to process that. She wilted. "Oh."

Sugarcoat shrugged. "It's Twilight Sparkle. I don't think anyone at Crystal Prep was ever in her league."

"I don't think any of us were even playing the same sport." The girls shared a sigh. After a few moments, Moondancer said, "So, if you're not doing anything this weekend..."

Sugarcoat gave her a long, appraising look. She finally spoke as Moondancer felt her cheeks redden. "Start using conditioner and we'll talk."

Author's Notes:

Because MoonSugar.

Sun and Stars, by Masterweaver

"Huh." Twilight flicked through her feed, before looking up from her smartphone. "Sunset?"

"Yeah?"

"Your followers are trying to legalize polygamy."

"Really?"

"Well, technically they're trying to legalize 'romantic groupings,' which covered polyandry as well, and they're getting a lot of help from the Wholesome, but... basically, yes."

"Why?"

"Apparently, since you're a pony, they've assumed your society follows social norms related to horses and practices... similar things."

Sunset considered this, and gave a shrug. "They're not starting wars over this, are they?"

"Well, no, but--"

"Then I'm cool with it."

Twilight blinked. "You... support...?"

"Twilight, to be honest, I couldn't care less how people express their love for each other. Love for me, sure, that's personal, but what goes on in the bedroom stays in the bedroom." She shuddered. "Trust me on this."

"Oh. Well..." Twilight coughed. "Um. Wow. Uh... I mean, you realize this kind of... if you ever started dating—"

Sunset rolled her eyes. "Look, if it helps, I'll throw up a whole 'everyone in the relationship must agree to everyone in the relationship' speech on my next EweTube video, okay?"

"Yeah, that would help." Twilight chuckled. "I mean, a lot of people might want to court you due to, you know, the whole power thing, but nobody would ever look twice at me."

Sunset blinked, giving her an odd look.

"...what?"

"...Nothing." She shook her head. "Nothing at all."

"No seriously, what? Why'd you give me that look?" Twilight threw up her hands. "Is this about Sugarcoat? I'm pretty sure she's a statistical anomaly!"

Sunset stared straight ahead.

"What, you think that there are more Crystal Prep students that were secretly crushing on me?" Twilight snorted. "That's ridiculous."

Sunset said absolutely nothing.

"...Isn't it?"

Sunset very pointedly didn't mention the Society of Aspiring Sparkle Suitors meeting she had been invited to, or the thirty-something members who were present, or the large list of potential new members hanging on a wall.

"...Yeah, you're right. It's totally crazy."

Stark Reality, by ArtieStroke

"And with the final design for the thaumatic reactor being sent in for patenting, we can begin the industrial phase as soon as your return from Saddle Arabia."

Fancy Pants nodded, flipping through the fiscal notes of the current quarter, "Excellent news, Mrs. Spice, excellent indeed! I look forward to Fancy Industries finally getting more of a leg up in the new market for magical technology- hmm... remind me to schedule a board meeting for a portmanteau branding session."

"Yes sir, Mr. Pants," Spice said, jotting down a note. There was a small moment of silence before she spoke up again.

"Sir, I... may I voice some concerns?"

Raising his eyebrows in surprise, Fancy Pants, "I don't know what impression I gave that would suggest otherwise- I value your input highly, Mrs. Spice."

"Well..." She shifted a little, "I'm just a little worried- a technological demonstration in Saddle Arabia? And so close to the border with Tauros? To be frank, sir, it seems ill conceived."

Fancy Pants nodded, "Ah, is that all?"

He stood up, clapping a hand reassuringly on his assistant, "I assure you, I have taken every measure of precaution for this trip. Security detail, professional military assistance- I believe the common folk refer to it as "The Works", yes?"

"Yes, that sounds about right."

Fancy Pants smiled, "So, chin up! Nothing could possibly go wrong!"

"Billionaire philanthropist and magitech powerhouse CEO of Fancy Industries has been declared missing during a demonstration in Saddle Arabia," the news anchor declared. Snails blinked once, a spoonful of cereal dripping back into his bowl. He shrugged once, and went back to eating.

"Mom, your boss is on the news."

Author's Notes:

I get the feeling that Fancy Pants won't have nearly as many problems with alcoholism.

Re-Markable, by Masterweaver

As the baby dragon rushed past her to his own tiny throne, the pinkish purple unicorn looked about the room and swallowed as the door swung shut behind her.

"I know there's no excuse for what I did, but I want you all to know that I'm ready for whatever punishment you think is fair."

The purple alicorn in one of the thrones smiled sympathetically. "I've been thinking a lot about how badly Equestria fared without just one group of friends. Because even when one friendship dies, the results can be disastrous."

"I know first-hoof how true that can be..." The unicorn kicked at the floor, eyes downcast.

"And that's why I've asked you here. If you're willing to learn, I'm willing to teach you what I know. You'll have the power to—"

There was a rapid pounding on the door. "Hey! Princess Twilight! Are you in there?!"

The alicorn blinked. "Excuse me a second." She stood and walked over, opening it. "Oh! Hello, Twilight—"

"Sunset says this world underwent temporal fragmentation recently so she sent me to check and make sure that everything's okay—"

"Oh, don't worry, that situation's been dealt with. Mostly. As a matter of fact, we're in the middle of wrapping it up right now."

"Really? You don't mind if I sit in, do you?"

Twilight hemmed. "Well, most of the magical and technical matters have been handled, and what's left is... kind of..." She rolled a hoof, trying to find a good word. "It's... it's a princess thing."

"Politics?" The voice on the other side of the door sighed. "Well.... can you give me your notes on the whole thing? I can head to the library and look over them, see if there's anything we should be worried about."

"Ah, well, I mean, I can see why you'd be interested, but—"

"You did take notes, right?"

"Like you said. Politics. Classified. I don't... It's really complicated and I really am in the middle of something important. I'll have to look through the files to see what I can tell you--"

"Alright, alright. Just... look, as soon as you're done with that, we really need to talk. Sunset's worried about the seven other worlds."

"The— What?"

"The other worlds. The ones that sprung up when your timeline fragmented. She's not sure, but it's possible they all connect to the portal on Earth—"

"OOOOOOOOOOKAY! That is important. Good to know. Look, go wait in the library, and I super promise I will explain everything when I'm done here. Okay? Okay." Twilight shut the door quickly, turning back to the assembled ponies. "So! As I was saying—"

"Was that some sort of mutant minotaur?" Starlight asked. "Did you have some mutant minotaur baby?"

"AS. I. WAS. SAYING." Twilight cleared her throat, schooling her expression into a polite smile. "Starlight Glimmer, I'd like for you to become my student and learn the magic of friendship."

"What was that she said about other worlds? Do all those other timelines still exist?!"

"Magic of friendship!" Twilight shouted. "So you don't have to be alone anymore! What do you say?"

"Sweet Celestia, what have I done?!"

Twilight sighed, dragging a hoof down her face. "Okay, Starlight? Breathe. This isn't nearly as bad as the time I almost destroyed the universe."

Author's Notes:

Oh, that's why the Map wanted Twilight and Twilight at Twilight's castle.

Also, I have an answer to how the splintered timelines and mirror portal interact. You can read it here.

Long May He Rein, by SaintAbsol

"I'd still like to know why the shift occurs in one direction, but not the other."

"That's a problem for another day; besides, you said it yourself, this is just a social visit."

"Right... a social visit, involving a trans-dimensional portal and a meeting with a dei—"

"Twilight..."

Princess Twilight, now in the shape of a unicorn-aspect human, frowned at Sunset from across the lunch table. The rest of their friends, including her doppelganger, were seated at the same table, having conversations of their own (with a full mouth in the case of Rainbow Dash) as the two of them discussed things from their respective sides of the mirror. "Look, Sunset," she said. "I realize you don't like the word, but it's objectively what you are right now. Even if you didn't have a direct connection to this reality, you're still far more powerful that the vast majority of others, have some level of at least quasi-immortality, and—whether you want them or not—a group that worships you; you are a deity, Sunset."

"I know..." Sunset groaned, her head coming down to meet the table with a dull 'THUNK'. "Just... I don't like to think to hard on it; I'm trying to stay grounded." She eventually brought her arms up to rest her head on them. "Can't we talk about something else?"

Twilight still frowned, but eventually sighed and decided to honor her friend's request. "Well, if we can't talk about that, and you don't want to talk about magic... there is one thing that's been bothering me about this world."

Sunset glanced toward the rest of their friends, who were all doing a remarkable job of pretending they weren't listening now. "Well, I'm hardly an expert, but I guess it's better than nothing."

Twilight hesitated. "Well... it's like back in Equestria, only... there, there's a reason for it, given... well, the dominant species and all, but here... it... well, it's sorta..." She groaned. "Why are there so many naming conventions that seem to relate back to ponies?"

The entire table blinked.

"Or... I suppose you call them... 'horses', but..."

Sunset took over. "That word is spelled with a 'W' back in Equestria," she explained to the other group. It wasn't long before the light of understand sparkled in their eyes, and an uncomfortable silence followed. "But... now that you mentioned it, I never really noticed before, but you're right, it is a little—"

"It's because of Glitterhoof."

Sunset and Princess Twilight both looked toward Pinkie Pie. "Glitterhoof?"

"Yeppers!" The Party Girl smiled. "Waaaaaaaaaaaay back when Scandaneighvia was still called 'Norway', there was this horse that showed up right when the king was having a tough time. He had these really sparkly hooves, and everyone started referring to him as Glitterhoof; the king took a liking to him and started riding him into battle and almost always won when he did. When the king got old, he ended up naming the horse as his heir, since him and his sons didn't get along."

Princess Twilight's face grew entirely deadpan. "You're making this up..."

"Nah, she's tellin' the truth." Rainbow Dash finally managed to swallow the mess of food she'd been chowing down on. "It's the one part of history class I paid attention to. Glitterhoof was crowned after the king died, and the sons started a rebellion. They would have probably killed the horse and taken the crown back, if the king's general hadn't decided that even a horse would make a better king than any of them and started riding Glitterhoof into battle himself.

"The sons weren't all that smart, so their rebellion didn't last more than a few years. And, by then, Glitterhoof had kinda endeared himself to most people, meaning that more and more of them were okay with having a horse for a ruler and a few towns even started changing their names to some sort of horse-pun. Plus... well, he had a lot of really strange luck while he reigned. Pretty much everything seemed to go right for his country; good weather, good crop yields, and the citizens generally prospered. It got to the point that, when Glitterhoof died, they actually crowned a colt he'd sired as the next king."

Twilight and Sunset both openly gaped as Rainbow Dash, of all people, started to explain about how this horse-run kingdom went on to, mostly out of luck and the 'king's' court using some creative politics, ended up encompassing a good portion of the world, complete with their horse-themed naming conventions for both towns and (later) citizens. To the point that, even when it finally fell, the naming conventions stuck around to the modern day. By the end of it, both of them could only stare dumbly for several minutes.

"This..." Sunset finally started. "This is a joke... it has to be a joke."

The human Twilight gave Sunset an incredulous look. "You've lived here for years, and you never learned the history?"

"It was never a huge priority. I usually just stole answer keys to pass most of my tests back when I was... less nice."

Princess Twilight's mouth worked for another moment, before she finally managed to speak once more. "I... you... how do you know this much about it?" She pointed a fist at Rainbow Dash, forgetting about her fingers for a moment.

Rainbow Dash just smirked. "Cause I'm named after one of Glitterhoof's successors, duh!"

Author's Notes:

Inspired by this fascinating game of Crusader Kings 2. I'm not saying this is canon... but I'm not saying it isn't.

Also, by this point, the universe has stabilized to the point where pony Twilight can come visit. Call it about a year later.

Cry to the Heavens, by Masterweaver, Jenna Cipher, and FoME

(Masterweaver)

"Ow!" Sunset frowned, leaning down. "An orange? Who would throw an orange at me?"

"I'M RELEVANT!"

She turned to see a man she'd never met dancing on a rooftop next to a crate of oranges.

After a moment, she shrugged, tossed the orange to her other hand, and continued walking.

(Jenna Cipher)

"And the guy just threw an orange at you?"

"Yep"

"Well... Who was he?"

Sunset paused for a moment, a small frown appearing on her face, before she turned back to her friend and responded.

"I have no idea Applejack... I have no idea."

(FoME)

Sunset thought nothing of it until the next day.

"I'M RELEVANT!"

"I'M RELEVANT!"

"I'M MORE RELEVANT!"

Oranges fell like rain.

"Of course," Sunset grumbled from beneath her energy shield. "Of course they'd turn it into a way to worship me."

The Care and Feeding of Minions, by Masterweaver

"Look, Sunset, I get that you're a god and all now—"

"I am really uncomfortable with that word—"

"—and I know we kind of avoided you after the whole demon thing—"

"That is entirely understandable—"

"—but I'm really freaking out here. I, I don't know who else to turn to, and..."

Sunset, not for the first time, let out a sigh. "Okay, Snips. I'll come with you."

"Great! It-it's this way." The stocky teenager waved a hand, running down the road. "We've got to hurry!"

Sunset rolled her eyes, easily keeping up with her former minion. "Will you at least tell me what's going on?"

"You know how you transformed us into those flying demon things back when you were evil?"

"Yeah, so?"

"I think there might have been side effects!" Snips gestured. "Like, when you fixed magic, the connection or something did something!"

Sunset frowned. "That... could be serious, actually. What kind of side effects?"

"Well, I didn't notice anything before, but now that I think about it, I might be, I dunno, smarter? Like I'm finding all my schoolwork a little easier or something! But what's really important is Snails," Snips emphasized. "I mean, you know what he's like, not all there at all—"

"So you think he couldn't resist this whatever as much, so he's more seriously affected?"

"Yeah! I mean—" Snips stopped suddenly, gesturing at a door. "Look, you have to promise not to freak out, okay? Just... look in there. Sneaky like."

Sunset frowned, flicking her eyes toward the door. The gem on her forehead glowed for a moment or two. "...Okay, so... Snails is taking ballet."

"He's wearing a tutu and everything!" Snips clutched his head. "I mean, when he told me he seemed so happy, I had to pretend it was cool and get out of there—"

Sunset facepalmed.

"...What?"

"Snips, you know how I threatened to expose your, and I quote, 'super geeky papercraft artwork' in order to get you to work for me?"

"Uh..." The teenager's eyes darted left and right. "Y-Yeah. I, uh. Yeah. You still haven't, right?"

"No. And frankly it was wrong of me to do that, and your artwork is actually pretty good and you should be proud of it, but that's besides the point right now." Sunset let her eyes open. "How do you think I managed to get Snails on board?"

"Uh... I dunno. I always thought you just told him to do something and he did, because he's kind of stupid."

"...I threatened him like I threatened you."

"Wait, Snails has super geeky papercraft artwork?"

Sunset rolled her eyes. "Snails has taken ballet class for as long as I've known him."

Snips' eyes bulged. "Wait, what?"

"Yeah. Before I came to Earth, even." She nodded. "He's got the legs for it, you've got to admit."

"Uh--but--I thought..." Snips gulped. "Um."

"You thought....?"

"I... thought that maybe... your, uh, impulses might have imprinted on him, when we were, uh, transformed, and then the magic made them come back?"

Sunset slowly raised an eyebrow as Snips fidgeted.

"Or maybe," she suggested very calmly, "Snails has grown more confident in himself and his interests, as a result of growing up." She shrugged. "Or it could be that he has new magic abilities giving him confidence. Or maybe he just wanted to share something special with his best friend. I don't know."

"Um."

"Also, I don't do ballet."

"Oh."

"I can pull off some mean breakdancing stunts though."

"...Ah." Snips cleared his throat. "So... just to be clear, you're absolutely sure me and Snails haven't been mind-whammied?"

Sunset held up a finger, paused, and then smiled a smile all too familiar to him. "Actually, now that you mention it, it might be good to have you two visit the NAHTI this weekend..."

Author's Notes:

Odds are any perceived increase in intelligence on Snips's part is a combination of gradual maturation and a psychosomatic sense that it's "okay" to be smarter than he gave himself credit for after the Saturation. Not necessarily the only explanation, but a likely one.

As for Snails, he does have the legs for ballet.

The Mare Makes the Clothes, by FoME

"The fashion really interests me," said Twilight.

The Rainbooms looked at her with mixed expressions from their various positions on and around the portal, none more excited than Rarity. "I cannot tell you how wonderful it is to hear that, Twilight! I have always believed that your beauty could truly blossom with just a touch more consideration of your appearance. If you ever wish to—"

"Rarity." Twilight held up a hand. "I appreciate the thought, but that wasn't what I meant."

"Oh. Well, the offer stands."

"What did you mean, Twilight?" said Sunset.

"Well, aside from questions of origin and persistence, it appears that the outfits generated for ponies reflect their mindsets to some degree. My analogue told me she couldn't help but think about how much there was to learn in this world and she came out dressed like a typical student, complete with backpack. Rainbow Dash's analogue came out looking—"

"Awesome," said Dash, lying on the back of the Wondercolt. "Well, up until the moment she punched me in the face."

"I was going to say 'like an NRPG protagonist,' which rather fits her mindset. And Fluttershy's seemed prepared for a safari."

Fluttershy nodded. "She had a new creature to learn about. Focusing on that helped her ignore the scary parts of being in such a strange place."

"So it will be interesting to see what— Oh!"

The base of the statue began to glow. A humanoid figure stumbled out of it. For a few silent seconds, everyone took her in.

"... Huh." Twilight coughed into a fist. "I'm really not sure what I expected."

The new arrival looked to her counterpart. "Hi, Pinkie!"

The local Pinkie returned the enormous smile of the girl clad in the exact same outfit. "Hi, Pinkie!"

Author's Notes:

NRPG stands for Neighponese Role-Playing Game.

And, as it says on the group page, Pinkie is a universal constant.

Living Nightmares, by Jenna Cipher

"No Sweetie Belle, I am your mother..."

"NOOOOOOO!"

"I'm givn' her all she's got captain!"

"Invaders blood marches through my veins like giant radioactive rubber pants! The pants command me! DO NOT IGNORE MY VEINS!"

"Because that is dumb! And you are dumb for thinking that!"

Sunset stared blankly at the scene before her, a very weird sight consisting of a yelling contest between Darth Rarity, Sweetie Skywalker, Chief Engineer Applebloom 'Scotty' Scot, Invader Spike, and Rainbow Caboose. With frustrated sigh, she turned to the rest of her friends.

"A spell that turns people into whatever they dressed up as for halloween... Not the weirdest thing I've seen this year, but what are you supposed to be Fluttershy?"

Sitting next to her on the ground, a cream colored police box with three butterflies on it's side let out a faint wheezing sound, that if one focused hard enough, could be interpreted as a very quiet 'eep'.

Author's Notes:

"What have we learned, Twilight?"

"Don't take magical inspiration from Peppy the Vampire Stabber?"

"I meant test new spells in a controlled environment, but that's probably a good rule of thumb as well."

Creative Control Freak, by Masterweaver

"Hello. I'm a talking dog named Spike. And here, I review things. So, we decided to call this web show... Candid Canines!"

"Spike!"

"Fine, Candid Canine, singular."

"Spike..."

"I'm a canine, and I'm candid, and I want another C word because I like alliteration."

"Spike, seriously."

"Look, Spike Reviews isn't really going to get any hits. It's like... there are a lot of Spikes, aren't there? There's the vampire Spike, there's the dragon Spike, the Happy Days Spike—"

"Look, I just thought you'd want to spread your opinion of human culture!"

"I do, Twi, seriously, but... can we try some other title? Something less generic?"

"He's got a point."

"Moooom!"

Author's Notes:

"He really does."

"Do you just follow me all the time now?"

"Only when it's funny; I blame Pinkie Pie."

"Can I get you something to drink, Sunset?"

"No thank you, Mrs. Velvet, the gag's nearly done."

Mass Transit Gloria Mundi, by FoME

Sunset had learned a lot over the years since the Saturation, but she'd never quite figured out how to keep people from holding her up on a pedestal. The various sects and interpretations had calcified, a generation had been born into a new world and taught that the nice woman with the ketchup-and-mustard hair was a goddess, and all the powers of Harmony couldn't overcome sheer cultural momentum. At least, not in a way that would let Sunset live with herself afterwards.

Twilight and the others helped with both the frustration and keeping Sunset grounded. If Sunset was honest with herself, even the frustration itself helped, reminding her of the disharmonious emotions that anchored her to humanity. Her very nature made such things slippery, and without them, she could all too easily slip towards the same distant dissipation as the Tree.

Sunset felt very grounded at the moment, rubbing her temples and wincing at the potential wordplay.

"Have I displeased you, o Brilliant One?" asked Flying Buttress, an all-too-earnest earth-aspected architect.

Sunset took a deep breath. "Part of it is just nostalgia, Mr. Buttress." Seeing nothing but a cleared foundation where Canterlot High once stood did leave an ache in her heart, but it was nothing compared to the building migraine. "However—"

Buttress dropped to his knees. "Speak, and I will correct the mortal flaws imposed upon your vision."

She knelt, took his hand, and dragged him to his feet. Once Buttress was done marveling at his own palm, Sunset said, "Don't get me wrong, the blueprint looks amazing. It's just that this is supposed to be a transit hub." She patted the still-standing horse statue containing the portal. "It and its counterpart in Equestria are meant to make it easier for people to move from universe to another. Instead, you have designed a cathedral. It's a very nice cathedral, just not what I'd asked for."

Flying Buttress looked back and forth between Sunset and the blueprint for the better part of a minute. Finally, he said, "So... you didn't mean facilitating a spiritual journey to approach your divine equinity?"

Sunset took a deep breath and fought the urge to facepalm. "No. No I did not." She held up a hand before he could debase himself again. "You're forgiven; we all make mistakes, and yes, that does include me. And a lot of the design elements can stay; I had something like Pone Station in mind anyway. I just don't want the first thing my mentor sees when she visits this world to be a twenty-foot-high brass statue of me. That doesn't exactly scream that I've gotten over my megalomaniacal phase."

Buttress considered this for a moment. "If I may speak freely, Highest of the High?"

Sunset nodded, wondering who kept coming up with all of those honorifics.

"You are the undisputed mistress of the universe."

"Yes, but that doesn't mean I have to flaunt it."

Author's Notes:

Original credit for the idea goes to Lurks-no-More.

Set Your Preferences, by Masterweaver

Seven friends quietly ate lunch together. Five of them shared glances, awkwardly trying not to stare at the last two. There seemed to be an unspoken tension.

Sunset sighed, putting down her sandwich. "Okay. What is it?"

Rarity bit her lip. "It's... it's nothing, darling—"

"Girls, I'm literally relying on you to keep me from going megalomaniac. If you're not comfortable asking questions, then... how will you be comfortable telling me when I'm wrong?"

"It's not like that!" Rainbow Dash insisted. "It's... really, it's just nothing."

Sunset lidded her eyes.

"...Oh, heck." Applejack took off her hat. "Look, Sunset, back when this all started, ya... kinda mentioned you weren't attracted ta baldin' apes cause you thought of yourself as a unicorn. But now..." She trailed off.

"Wait, is this about me?" Twilight asked.

"Um." Fluttershy smiled awkwardly. "Maybe? It's really more about Sunset, and... neither of you have to answer if you don't want to—"

"Did your transformation into a semi-abstract entity responsible for monitoring the stability of reality affect your personal preferences?" Pinkie asked quickly.

Sunset rolled her eyes. "Well it..."

She paused.

"...You know, now that I think about it... huh. I think I might be an asexual demiromantic?" She shrugged. "Or something. I don't know. I guess I'll figure it out..."

Author's Notes:

"You know, I did develop a bit of a crush on Princess Twilight before I met you. Maybe I'm just Twilightsexual."

"Sunset, if you really do love me, you'll never use that term again."

"Deal."

Revere the Hounds, by Jenna Cipher and FoME

(Jenna Cipher)

Sunset Shimmer stared gaping at the paper floating before her, as if not quite having registered its utter stupidity. Shaking her head, she finally looked up at Twilight, sitting in front of her. and spoke.

"A weapons enthusiast who joined one of my stupid churches wants my blessing for her to create something called... a war corgi!?"

Twilight frowned. "What the heck is a war corgi?"

"That's what I want to know..."

(FoME)

"Granted, this is the girl who asked to be the pope of the Church of the Divine Bacon Horse."

"Seriously?" Twilight snorted, then saw Sunset's serious expression. "You didn't!"

Sunset shrugged. "Well, she did ask first."

"'First come, first served' is no basis for a system of religious hierarchy!"

"It is when it's one as ridiculous as that." Sunset frowned. "Going back to war corgis, where's Spike?"

The assembled dogs of Canterlot sat before their leader, entranced as he paced from side to side of the stage.

"We shall chase them up the branches, we shall chase them through the picnic grounds, we shall chase in the fields and the streets, we shall chase in our homes, we will never surrender."

The air around the gazebo filled with excited barks and yips. Then a squirrel passed by and the barks and yips pursued it, along with their sources.

Author's Notes:

I may have added the bit about the bacon papacy, but it was originally Jenna's idea. You'll see how and why in a few snippets.

Assume a Spherical Walrus, by FoME

Luna had been happy to accept managing dreams. She still didn't completely trust Sunset Shimmer. The girl had clearly turned over a new leaf, but Luna remembered her own regrettable youth too well to trust a teenager as mistress of the universe. Anything she could take off of Sunset's workload would be a load off of both their minds.

However, minds soon became the issue. What Luna hadn't realized and Sunset likely hadn't known was that most people were always dreaming a little, at least by whatever definition magic used for the term. Any thoughts that weren't focused on the here-and-now counted, which meant that Luna could tell where most people were by the faint mental static of abstract thought. She could even tune in to it to get a vague sense of what they were thinking, but the key word was "vague;" most of the time it was a mishmash of memories and speculation that wasn't even put into words, much less a coherent flow.

The signal that cropped up unannounced in the middle of her office needed no introduction. There was no mistaking the only mental signal that left an aftertaste centered on her headgem. Luna didn't even look up until she finished filling out the form she was working on. "I trust you know why I asked you here, Mr. Discord?"

"Come now, Lulu. You don't really expect the disciplinarian act is going to work on me, do you?" Mr. Discord beamed, brightening up the office past Luna's preferred illumination level. "After all, I remember when I used to bounce you on my knee."

"Be that as it may, we have been getting calls from concerned parents about your classes. You are terrifying your students."

"Oh, please. I'm just getting their attention. I have to get them to look away from their phones somehow, and creating wireless interference makes me feel like a lazily written horror movie." Mr. Discord threw off his hockey mask in disgust.

Luna crossed her arms. "Don't you think sending them to an airless void is a little extreme?"

Mr. Discord threw up his hands, which clung to the ceiling. "There's plenty of air! Just not in the demonstration area. I assure you as I have assured them, I have complete control over the pocket dimension."

"I don't suppose I could convince you to keep your classes in this one?"

"Don't be ridiculous! Everyone knows that high school-level physics happens in a frictionless vacuum!"

Author's Notes:

Credit for the idea goes to xkcd. The chapter title comes from one of the most memorable pop quizzes I've ever taken and seems perfect for a Mr. Discord short.

Also, friendly reminder that Mr. Discord is the principals' uncle.

Work That Bodhi, by Tophe

The orderly rows of the Apple orchard looked neat, were an efficient layout, and tended to make people zone out while doing chores. So by the time Applejack noticed the strange new tree in this row, she'd raked almost right up to it.

She walked around, examining it from all sides. There was a sense of wrongness about it; perhaps Applejack's earth-aspect magic was warning her that this wasn't an ordinary apple tree. Or perhaps it was just the maroon bark, grey leaves, and disjointed variety of fruit growing on it (two pears, three bananas, zero apples, and a potato) that was giving that impression.

Applejack leaned on her rake, tilting her head, her hand on her chin. Eventually, the potato opened its eyes. "Are you enjoying yourself?" came a clipped Fillydelphian accent from somewhere in the tree's branches.

"Hi there, Mr. Discord. Should I ask what exactly yer doin' here?"

"Oh, just getting in touch with my arboreal side. It's the latest thing, or so I presume. Fluttershy's spent some time as a tree, one of Sunset's projections is a tree... I assure you, all the cool kids are in on this new craze. I simply had to see what all the fuss was about."

"That's nice and all. Could you maybe be a tree somewhere else, though? Yer messin' up the row, and I think the actual trees ain't comfortable around you."

"Oh, must I? I really thought this was a good spot. If there's any cosmic enlightenment to be gleaned from this new meditative technique, I'll have a better chance of gleaning it if people stop interrupting me every nine minutes."

"Hey now, I only interrupted you once—"

"Yes, sorry, you've been very polite." Mr. Discord's leaves rustled. "Unlike some people I could mention. The way my nieces reacted, you'd think we didn't have people around who can rebuild the NAHTI with a snap of their fingers."

Rutaceae, by Masterweaver

"So you know that your principal's a bitch, right?"

"Yeah, she's my aunt." Lemon Zest leaned left, neatly dodging Rainbow's hot-coffee spit take. "See, I've learned to expect that response—"

"Your aunt is Abacus Cinch?!"

"Mmhmm. Auntie Abby, I call her. Gets me detention every time."

"That—That..." Rainbow tapped her chin. "Actually, that kind of explains a lot about you. In sort of a 'rebelling against your elders' way."

"Yeah. Weird thing, my mom's actually the older sister," Lemon explained. "Famous food critic, I think she's a unicorn aspect now? Everyone was surprised when she got pregnant, but bing-bang-boom, all that. She sent me over to Crystal Prep cause it's supposedly 'the best', but..." She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, me and the other students didn't gel, you know?"

"Huh. You know, Twilight says they have high standards for scores over there. Why didn't you get kicked out?"

"Total legit genius. If I actually gave a shit I might have trumped Twilight... maybe." The Shadowbolt leaned back. "Sort of like Pinkie, you know? I mean I don't know if you get the logistics that go behind all her stunts, even with magic laughter power, but I guarantee you that brain is operating at warp speeds on a slow day. Of course, warping the mind leads to warped thoughts, which explains Pinkie and me; we're too smart to be sane. Sort of like Uncle Dissy was."

Rainbow nodded. "Right, right, Cinch is mister Discord's ex—Wait. Hold on." She pointed a finger. "That means you're Principal Celestia's cousin!"

"Cousin-in-law, twice half-removed."

"...what?"

"Genealogy is fuckin' weird."

Author's Notes:

It's the taxonomical family of the lemon tree.

Cloudy with a Chance of Bacon Bits, by Jenna Cipher and FoME

(FoME)

Aria gritted her teeth, fists clenched on the news desk. "Breaking weather news—"

"Wacky Weather."

"Zip it, Adagio. She's not here, we don't have to use her stupid names for things. In breaking weather news, regions worldwide have experienced showers of unicorn-shaped pieces of bacon. Sunset Shimmer has denied all responsibility. Sonata Dusk has probably claimed about twenty pounds of the stuff off of the dirty ground and I hope she gets food poisoning and a heart attack at the same time."

"Oh, be nice. We're like sisters."

"You literally grabbed the first two sirens who'd listen to your stupid idea without trying to eat you."

"Not true. Sonata listened while trying to eat me." Adagio turned back to the camera. "After earlier silence on the matter, the Carnifex Maxima Pope Ruby I has declared the bacon manna from heaven. Vegan contingents of the Church of the Divine Bacon Horse are calling for her resignation, decrying bacon as an inequine food product regardless of its divine symbolism."

Aria snorted. "They were definitely raising pigs back in the day in Nova Scoltia."

"Newfinnedland."

"Whatever. Her mane doesn't even look like bacon."

"You think that's going to stop them?"

"Point." Aria held a hand to her ear. "Huh? What you mean we're on live? Why didn't you say something earlier!?"

"No one has yet claimed responsibility for the event, but we'll have more as the story develops."

(Jenna Cipher)

Sunset Shimmer knew exactly who was at fault, because they'd left a note, a glass of chocolate milk, and a single cotton candy cloud right on her doorstep. Which led to now, where she sat at the same lunch table as usual, with her friends.

"Wait... So if it wasn't you, and it wasn't another one of Twilight's screw ups while trying to invent a new spell, then who was it?" Rainbow Dash questioned, ignoring Twilight's faint yell of frustration at the mention of her 'screw ups'.

Sunset sighed and launched her explanation.

At the same time, lounging around in the clouds, Discord chuckled and brought another bacon rainstorm into existence over the White House.

"Chocolate rain? What was my counterpart thinking? Bacon rain is so much more rewarding!"

Author's Notes:

Jenna gets top billing since she came up with the idea first. I just though her snippet worked better as the punchline.

Also, Mr. Discord cleaned everything up shortly afterwards. This was merely a test of his capabilities. An amusing test, but a test.

Also also, any resemblance between Ruby I and a certain girl with an affinity for scythes that are also sniper rifles is entirely intentional. Pegasus-aspect, if you're curious.

Oh, and credit for the chapter title goes to MythrilMoth; it used to be "Rasher Decision."

Foster Services, by Masterweaver

"Okay." Sunset put down the paper. "First question: What kind of whacked-out drug was this guy on?"

"The thrill of discovery, mixed with a bit of mania."

"Oh, sure, yes. That totally explains why the guy created a species of human-sized green humanoid rats, stuffed them in SWAT vests, and proclaimed himself the dictator of..." Sunset looked down at the paper again. "Punkeydoodles Corners? Is this a real place?"

"As it turns out, yes."

"...alright. So, after you find out about the situation, your first response was to ask Fancy Pants to airlift you and your... still unnamed super-hero club over to the region."

"Well, I figured it would be decent training, and some of the younger members have been hoping for something more than just street-level thugs. I did make it clear they would have to stick with the adults, of course."

"Right, right. Because that makes total sense. And you dropped yourselves all off, had a battle, captured the bad guy--who for some reason said he would reincarnate as the sun--"

"It's actually very complicated, and it involves Aztlan mythology—"

"I think it'll be easier if we all just agree he was insane."

"Well, true, but with Ahuizotl being a thing, it would be a bit disrespectful."

"I checked, Ahuizotl also thinks the guy is crazy."

"Ah. In that case, he was a mite disturbed."

"Good enough. So you catch the guy, cart him off, and then for some reason decide to adopt the green rat things en masse."

"Well... technically they are now fostered under a program by Fancy, working with PAULDRONS—"

"I'm well aware of the technicalities, Celestia, I'm just wondering about the reasons!"

"...When they realized they didn't have to fight any more, they just... stood there for a few minutes. Between the time their creator was captured and the actual police came... They were acting like children. Young, confused children. One of them got up on a car and made vroom vroom noises."

"Yes, I've seen the video. It's trending."

"My point is.... I couldn't just leave them there. They literally had no idea what they were doing was wrong. They did it because they were scared of the man. And... technically, none of them are a year old yet, so..."

"Ugh. I'm sorry, I know it was the right thing to do, but... this is just... this is crazy."

Author's Notes:

This is apparently based on a dream.

A Glut of Rosy Pastries, by Jenna Cipher

No one in Canterlot could've expected it, and no one could've prepared for it. The first sign of trouble was the small tremors that occurred throughout the early half of the day.

And then the noises started.

funfunfunfunfun!

Fun, is this fun? FUUUUN!!!!!!!!!!

Entirely at random, people going about their day would hear the same word.

Fun.

By the time it became apparent that something was utterly wrong, it was far to late to do anything about it, for the partying horde was already upon them.

And then everything went pink.

Later that day, in the Canterlot High science lab, Sunset Shimmer attempted in vain to stop facepalming, while Twilight stood before her, rubbing the back of her neck sheepishly. Sunset, in between bouts of facepalming, looked at her friend and spoke.

"Clones... Why'd you have to try and invent a cloning spell..."

Author's Notes:

"What if I clone myself to clean up after th— Ow!"

"Thou shalt not clone."

"I don't even worship you."

"It's not a general commandment. I'm telling you to stop duplicating people. It never ends well."

Hypothesis Confirmed, by Giginss

"Sunset! Sunset Shimmer! I simply must have your help in testing my new experimental hypothesis!"

"What is it this tim—WOAGHH!" Sunset materialized inside Discord's lab to the sight of Discord's hand reaching out for her. She ducked, which is exactly what he wanted. Grabbing her hair, he pulled it clean off her head.

"Why did you...what are you doing with my hair?"

"Why, testing an experimental hypothesis! I thought I made that clear."

Sunset stared at Discord, who was currently chewing on a mouthful of her hair.

"What is this hypothesis you are testing?"

Discord finished chewing, and then swallowed. He grinned in triumph.

"I was right all along! I knew it, I knew it!" he cheered.

"You knew what?"

"It really DOES taste like bacon!"

Author's Notes:

"It doesn't count if you make it taste like bacon."

"Oh, you're no fun."

Recharging, by FoME

Contrary to popular belief, educators' summer vacations weren't nearly as carefree as those of the students, especially not those of the principals. There were textbooks to review, budgets to stretch, mad scientists to work around, vigilantes to organize...

Well, maybe some of those were limited to Celestia, though these days, she wasn't too sure about that.

Still, the occasional opening in her schedule did crop up, and that meant time to relax and decompress. That meant it was just her, the sun, a lounge chair, sunglasses, and a bikini that would probably give half of the seniors at CHS heart attacks. For others, the sunbathing would mean working on a tan, but Celestia's particular form of chromelanin would actually make her paler and more reflective. She sighed, feeling her stress melt in the summer heat.

It couldn't last forever, no matter how much Celestia might wish otherwise. After forty minutes, her phone started beeping, strategically placed on a table Celestia couldn't reach from her chair. She got up with a sigh, turned off the alarm, and resisted the temptation to just lie back down. Duty called, whether she liked it or not.

Something seemed off as she went back inside. Just what only occurred to her when she walked by a mirror and registered a bit of movement in the corner of her eye; everything seemed brighter than usual.

At the time, though, she was more concerned with how her hair was glowing and squirming.

Twilight looked up from her book as Sunset manifested, a haunted look in the orange girl's eyes. "Everything okay?"

"The human analogue of my mentor and secondary mother figure was panicking in a bikini as I had to explain that her hair was going through something completely normal. I have so many conflicting feelings that I feel like my head's going to explode."

Twilight tilted her head. "You know, if you listen real close, you can probably hear Dicke Zigarre laughing from beyond the grave."

"Not. Helping."

Author's Notes:

Dicke Zigarre is German for "thick cigar." I could think of no more suitable name for pony Freud.

And yes, OW!Celestia's hair can move if exposed to enough sunlight. Theoretically, Luna's mane could animate and in a similar way, but she's more likely to cause that through heavy magic use than moonlight exposure.

Rapturous, by FoME and Masterweaver

(FoME)

Few people ever pay attention to EweTube ads, but this one drew notice. There was no blaring music, no fast-moving visuals. Just a man looking into the camera, speaking with conviction.

"I am Aqua Regia, and I'm here to ask you a question. Is a man not entitled to the sweat of his brow? 'No,' says the man in Chopperton, 'it belongs to the poor.' 'No,' says the girl in the Baconium, 'it belongs to Sunset.' 'No,' says the man in Neighjing, 'it belongs to everyone.' I rejected those answers; instead, I chose something different. I chose the impossible. I chose... Triumph. A city where the artist would not fear the censor; where the scientist would not be bound by petty morality; where the great would not be constrained by the small! And with the sweat of your brow, Triumph can become your city as well."

"Eccentric billionaire..." Aria frowned at her news copy. "How many eccentric billionaires are there, anyway? Whatever happened to that Ebon Musk guy; he still trying to get into space?"

"We're on live," Sonata singsong-said.

"Please, half our viewers watch us to see when we go off script. Anyway, eccentric billionaire Aqua Regia's viral marketing campaign for his proposed underwater utopia has gotten a lot of interest from fringe communities and a cease and desist order from Ridiculous Games. Mr. Regia has expressed a continued intent to follow through on his project, though he has expressed willingness to rename it. For more, we turn to our senior oceanic correspondent of the day..." Aria tossed a die onto the newsdesk. "Adagio Dazzle."

"Thanks, Aria." Adagio beamed for the camera. "Speaking as someone who's seen her share of underwater cities, allow me to say this: They don't work well if you don't have gills. Sonata?"

"Sunset Shimmer has confirmed that she has no intent of helping with this project, nor any desire for the sweat of anyone's brow but her own. Mr. Regia declined to comment further, saying that his message speaks for itself."

(Masterweaver)

"...Okay." Rainbow Dash waved a hand at the TV. "Are people seriously using magic to mimic whatever they like in fictional media?"

"Well, yes. Childhood fantasies come true and all that." Rarity quirked an eyebrow. "Why, are you surprised?"

"No. Just disappointed." Rainbow sagged in her chair. "I mean... the sirens are reporting on what's literally Triumph City! Underwater cities are cool and all, but isn't the whole point of the game, like, extremist separation from society is bad or something?"

"Or something..."

Solar Wavelengths, by ArtieStroke

"Well, this certainly makes things more worrisome," Fancy said, sipping a can of cola across from Celestia.

"Yes, as if I didn't have enough to worry about with hiding our identities before," Celestia murmured, running a hand through her now slightly animated hair. "I had a hard enough time concealing all this under a wig WITHOUT it moving under its own power."

"Yeah, but you gotta admit, that is pretty cool. In like a weirdly eldritch and freaky way," Wiz piped up, supported by a nod from his brother Featherweight. Celestia smiled.

"Well, I'm certainly glad some of you are getting some entertainment out of it. I bet Luna doesn't have to deal with these kinds of... shenanigans."

"Language," Fancy said, and the three of them burst out chuckling as Celestia rolled her eyes.

"Far be it from me to try and be responsible around children..."

Author's Notes:

The good news is that it stops moving if she spends enough time out of sunlight. The sunlight that fuels her powers. Yeah.

Sensitivity Training, by Masterweaver

Sunset took a moment to compose herself, before taking her once abandoned unicorn form and stepping in front of the crowd. Reverent silence filled the air... right up until she stood by the farmer, at which point there was confused murmuring.

"First of all, similarity of appearance does not mean similarity of species. Secondly, even in Equestria we had manual labor and performance ponies. Thirdly, this woman is not mistreating them in any way. Fourthly, none of these horses are sapient; what do you expect will happen after you quote unquote 'liberate' them? Seriously, I am fine with the situation. In fact, I'll make a video about this whole thing. Expect it Saturday. For now, though, just step off, okay?"

The assembled protesters, most wearing red and yellow, sheepishly dispersed.

With a sigh, Sunset turned to the farmer. "Sorry about this, Miss Jubilee."

"Oh, don't worrah yuaself on mah paht, dahlin'. Ah fullee hundahstan' the whole thang tain't ya fault."

Sunset winced. And she had thought Applejack's accent was thick...

Author's Notes:

I formally apologize to any and all readers residing in the southern United States.

Urd Pony, by FoME

“… Happy birthday, dear Apple Bloom
Happy birthday to you!”

Everyone cheered as Apple Bloom blew out the candles. There weren’t many gathered in her home’s kitchen, just the other Crusaders, her family, and Pinkie Pie, because one didn’t need destiny magic to know that snubbing her wasn’t a good idea.

After the cake came presents: a movie from Scootaloo, a Goops for Stuff sample pack from Sweetie, a Sugarcube Corner gift card from Pinkie Pie.

Applejack smiled as she passed Bloom the last box. “We wanted t’ save this one for last.”

“Oh. Great!” Bloom put on a smile strained enough to serve as baby food as she unwrapped it.

Applejack glanced at Big Macintosh, but looked back in time to see Apple Bloom open the box, revealing a belt buckle shaped like her icon.

“Oh, wow!” Sweetie Belle leaned in close. “I’m still waiting on mine.”

“Still? It’s been like a month.” Scootaloo’s eyes widened. “Not that yours isn’t awesome, AB!”

“Yeah, it’s great.” Apple Bloom turned to her family, her smile more genuine, though visible tension lines still marred it.

“It better be great for what we paid,” Granny Smith muttered. “Back in my day, th’ bespoke shop wouldn’t charge more’n—“

“Hey! Who wants to see how many empty cans I can decorate at once with my new funderbuss?” Pinkie brandished some unsightly hand cannon covered in stickers, not all of which had warning symbols on them.

“Heck yeah!” Scootaloo followed her, dragging Sweetie Belle along.

Applejack put a hand on Apple Bloom’s shoulder and said, “Y’all have fun. I wanna have a talk with th’ birthday girl.” When it was just Apples, she said, “Everything okay, Bloom?”

Apple Bloom stiffened. “Sure! Why wouldn’t it be?”

“Y’ knew what yer gift was ahead o’ time.”

“I… I didn’t mean to! It just happened!”

Granny Smith clicked her tongue. “Hush now, Applejack. I remember a certain li’l girl peekin’ at Yuletide presents plenty o’ times.”

“I didn’t peek!” said Apple Bloom. “I just heard y’all.”

Applejack raised an eyebrow. “We only ever talked about it when you were with yer friends.”

“Yeah, out in th’ orchard.” Bloom tapped her new buckle. “It’s a magic thing. Earth remembers, an’ I know how to ask it, even when I don’t mean to.”

Applejack coughed into a fist. “Oh.” Mac nudged her. She shot back a glare, muttered, “I was gonna,” and turned back to Bloom. “Sorry, sugarcube. I was just lookin’ forward to springin’ this on you.”

“It’s okay.” Apple Bloom sighed. “Y’ know th’ worst part?”

“What’s that?”

Bloom slumped down in her seat. “Earth remembers, but it don’t remember anythin’ before the change.”

Applejack walked to her and held her tight. “They’d be so proud of you.”

Apple Bloom squeezed back. “Thanks.”

Author's Notes:

Hey, all of those cutie mark-shaped accessories had to come from somewhere. I considered calling the shop an "iconoblast," but that felt a little too on-the-nose.

I have more lighthearted ideas planned, but this one demanded my attention.

Also, Goops for Stuff is doing a lot better in the age of Whole Foods and the online marketplace.

ZefRAM Cochrane, by Jenna Cipher

Cookie Crisp stared blankly at her computer, occasionally blowing away a stray few locks of her dark brown hair that would fall down over her face. She brushed her hands across the keyboard, rapidly typing away, her milky white skin blending into the similar color of the keyboard, and her bright blue eyes quickly skimming over the screen, taking in every utterly boring detail with perfect clarity.

"I'm telling you Di, there's nothing on Mars, it's just rocks, rocks, and hmm, and I missing something.... Oh yeah, more friggin' rocks," she frustratedly monologued to what seemed to be thin air. "Honestly, why are we sitting here sending these rovers back and forth. Not like we're gonna find some ancient ruins or anything; this isn't Huggs Field, it's real life."

"Huh, what's that? Sorry, I was running some background simulations," came the bubblier than normal voice of the Paradiamond AI currently connected to her computer.

Cookie Crisp sighed and replied, "It's nothing, just a thought. Anything exciting happening with you?"

The computer's screen once more took on a violet tint as 'Di' spoke back, her voice as ear-piercingly bubbly and high pitched as ever. "Not really, I just cracked the secret to warp drive, but that's not important. So, back to rock watching?"

Cookie nodded. "Yea, whatever, let's just... Wait, WHAT!?"

2 months later...

"No."

"But..."

"I don't care if you MARRY every Space Trek series, we are NOT naming Earth's first warp drive starship 'Enterprise'."

"Awww dang it..."

Author's Notes:

Huggs Field is a trilogy of action RPGs by VivoWare noted for their rich world building, impactful choices, and disappointing conclusion, starring one Commander Shepherd.

Paradiamond systems that can pass the Turing test are more than a few years away from when most of these shorts are taking place. (Of course, the local equivalent is the Turnip test. He wasn't treated any better in that world. )

Hunter's Digest, by Masterweaver and FoME

(Masterweaver)

A famous child opera star broke free from her father's grip with newfound unicorn powers but, not used to the real world, ended up using all her money and nearly died on the street before a crazy redhead pegasus aspect picked her up and taught her how to be confident. The red-head's half sister was having a vacation in some eastern countries when she heard about Tirek's reign of terror, and decided to head to Tauros to punch some bad guys with her earth aspect. She found a low-class bookworm griffon aspect, and together they liberated a small section of the town before heading home.

When the sisters met, they introduced their new friends to each other. Tensions rose when it was discovered the child star's father had some dealings with Tirek, but it was agreed that said father was a jackass. Shortly thereafter, Sunset Shimmer showed her video of her original self, the church of the divine bacon horse was formed, and while three of the friends laughed off the new development the redhead was so eager she immediately walked to Sunset's home (which was only three houses away), knocked on the door, and asked to become the pope.

Shortly after being awarded the position (and the resulting paperwork), the redhead wrangled her three friends into helping her to establish a system and order to the whole thing. For a time, they were stressed out and seriously considered abandoning the whole thing, but then an outbreak of a magical disease created angst monsters out of local animals and all four of them (who had combat training for various reasons and had experimented with magic weapons out of boredom) worked together with the members of their church to put the monsters down. After that, they were solidified as bishops in their own right.

All this happened over the course of a month.

(FoME)

Sunset got up when she heard the knock at her door. She opened the door with a smile on her face, though that quickly changed.

"Hi, Sunset!"

"Pinkie."

"Yes?"

Sunset pointed at the device in Pinkie's hands. "What is that thing?"

Pinkie beamed and hefted it up to give Sunset a better look. "It's the Pinkie-portable party cannon! Pee-three-see for short."

"It's a grenade launcher."

"Party bomb launcher." Pinkie put the P3C through a few shifts and clicks. "It's also a hammer!"

Sunset took a deep breath. "Why is it also a hammer?"

"Piñatas."

After taking in the war hammer that any minotaur would've been proud to call his own, Sunset said, "You've been talking to Ruby again, haven't you?"

Twilight looked up from her book. "I told you first come, first served was no way to determine a religious hierarchy."

Author's Notes:

Both Pinkie Pie and Nora Valkyrie in the same world seems a bit much to me. I'm not ruling it out completely, mind you.

Disturbing the Mountain Birds, by ArtieStroke

Blue Oyster frowned.

"No."

"But—"

"NO."

"But it's RIGHT HERE in front of us!" Ditzy pouted. Blue Oyster dragged a hand down her face.

"Listen, I was MOSTLY okay with modeling ourselves after Sailor Luna, and we even got a little more original with it later on! But this, THIS is just TOO FAR!"

"But it's not even a Sailor Luna thing, this is a totally different show!"

"THAT DOESN'T MAKE IT BETTER!"

"Well, even if you don't like it, we still have to deal with it," Ditzy said, hefting up the oversized pearl marked with four stars, "I mean, we probably shouldn't let the other six fall into the wrong hands. Who knows what someone else could wish for with these things!"

"DITZY, YOU ARE NOT MONKEY KID AND THIS IS NOT DRAGON PEARL X! I swear to SCIENCE if we have to fight some weird, alien demon slug calling himself 'King Flute' or something, I am QUITTING THIS TEAM!"

"Alright, alright, no need to blow a gasket... 'Princess Vegetable.'"

And so the legend goes that Blue Oyster's screams could be heard in those very mountains near Neighjing to this very day.

Author's Notes:

I can neither confirm nor deny that Ditzy is herself the seven-star pearl. Assuming that this is even remotely canon. After all, God isn't a humanoid slug man, she's an extradimensional horse.

I'm not God.

You know what I mean.

Donkey Khan, by FoME

Cranky Doodle wasn't.

That is to say, he wasn't cranky. He definitely was in the sense of existing. Some might say he existed more than most people these days, though he wasn't one for that sort of philosophical or magical debate. He was just concerned with instilling some degree of respect for the Wranglish language in kids who were more interested in how much they could mangle into under one hundred forty characters.

Still, he had to admit that that had gotten easier after the world changed. Oh, the kids weren’t any smarter; Cranky swore there were fewer who knew how to think every year. The middle schools were still happy to let students graduate eighth grade without knowing what an adverb was. The change hadn’t even gotten him his hair back.

No, the important changes had been internal. He’d stopped getting ulcers from the idiocies and inadequacies around him. That tickle in his chest he’d never mentioned to anyone had, as he’d silently hoped, gone away. The general malaise that had come from a poorly treated body on the wrong side of sixty wasn’t there anymore, and without that weighing him down, the rest of his burdens had become a lot easier to carry. Even the ears weren’t that bad. He was in good company what with a decent chunk of the population turning into elves, even if his brought basset hounds to mind. Besides, Reader Response would get tired of telling everyone in the faculty area to forget not that he was an ass any day now.

Just as the bad parts of Cranky’s life had improved, so had the good. Matilda was enjoying her magical refreshment just as much as he was, and had taken to researching it. She’d always been more technically and civically minded than he’d been, and now she’d tell him all about her discoveries over dinner. He’d respond to with nods and polite murmurs for most of it, the various tests and testimonials determining just what the rare donkey aspects were capable of. The answer seemed to be “Anything a sane person would volunteer for.”

When the darker moments came to light, he paid more attention. When she mentioned how thousands had simply walked out of Tauros, barely slowed by anything short of Tirek himself, they immediately began discussing what they could do for those who weren’t so lucky. It wasn’t much, but it was better than nothing.

One night shortly after the end of the school year, Matilda chuckled as she sat down.

Cranky couldn’t help but smile. “What is it?”

“One of my websites, one made for donkey aspects. It’s the Internet, so it’s mostly young men, and they’ve gone and found a way to show off.”

He gave a laugh of his own. “Remember that time at the state fair when I tried to win you a teddy bear?”

“You must have spent thirty dollars. I told you they glued down those milk bottles. But these fellows try to one-up one another on how much punishment they can take. They’ll run marathons in parkas, handle dangerous animals, help clean up toxic waste sites…” Matilda shook her head. “They’d probably have all killed themselves a few months ago.”

Cranky shrugged. “With any luck, they’ll grow out of it. Don’t see how that’s funny, though.”

“It isn’t. The funny part is that no one’s been able to top the current leader for more than a week.”

“Oh? What’s he do?”

Matilda beamed, her crow’s feet crinkling. “He teaches at Canterlot High.”

Cranky considered that for a few moments before smirking. “Well, you’re not wrong.”

Author's Notes:

Donkey + human = stupidly tough. We've already minmaxed our Constitution compared to most species. Donkey aspects can take physical, mental, magical, biological, chemical, radiological, and every other kind of punishment imaginable and keep going better than anyone else. They're not invulnerable, but there are times when it seems like they are.

Strange Interlude, by KingMoriarty

The Ancient One raised a hand, letting her sleeve fall all the way down to her elbow for dramatic effect. She smiled, and lowered her hand until her outstretched fingers were framing her head-gem. "You will observe," she explained, "not a glimmer."

She lowered her hand, and held it outstretched over the cell phone that sat on the table. Once she was confident that her guest was watching closely, the Ancient One curled one finger in, then flicked it out to its full length. Two inches beneath her palm, the phone began to slowly spin. There was no aura, no sparkle in her gem, and yet it turned.

"After twenty years of training, ten for the talented ones, this was all my students could hope to accomplish." The phone stopped spinning, and the Ancient One got up from her seat. She walked over to the corner of the room, and gestured towards a boulder that was roughly the size of a transport truck. She extended her hand again, this time in a clawed gesture, and raised both arm and boulder without the slightest spark. "And after living here for half of my life, and training every day, this was the extent of my powers." She set the stone down with hardly a sound, and turned back towards her guest.

"But then, the world changed." The blood-red stone on her forehead flared with a pulse of magic, and Sunset Shimmer's stomach tried to lurch as reality fell away around them. The ceiling above them folded open like a blossoming flower, and the sky that they were sent rocketing into didn't so much blur into nothing as it did bleed. In the space of a second, it was over, and the two of them stood outside of their universe. The Ancient One did a good job of hiding the soul-crushing instinctive terror racing through her mind, while Sunset watched the twirling spheres of far-off realities with a vague stare of acknowledgement.

After an awkward moment while the Ancient One got her bearings, she continued. "Suddenly, everything was different. The fruits of a lifetime of mystical training were transformed into the status quo for a third of the world population. My monastery went from the one true sanctum of magic to just being the first aspect-exclusive club."

"It's kind of remarkable," Sunset cut in. "I actually did a check on everyone who's ever come to you. All the students who left or didn't have the aptitude have become earth-aspect, pegasus-aspect or any other besides unicorn."

The Ancient One smiled, a smile that reminded Sunset of Celestia when she hadn't had her coffee. "Would it be too bold of me to postulate that our aspects have always been with us, and that the transformation did not so much introduce these powers as it did allow us to realize them?"

"Possibly," Sunset admitted. "We still know so little about magic in this universe, of all aspects. We actually know more about the magic systems of that world over there," she pointed at an indistinct sphere on the edge of the multiversal 'horizon', "than we do about the world you live in now. For now, all I can say is that this is one of those coincidences that makes people rattle off quotes about how coincidence is a fiction."

"Magic was a fiction, once. Perhaps the transformation has made coincidence a reality as well."

Sunset smiled wryly at the bald woman, and ripped them back into the monastery. "What is it about magic teachers and having to make every sentence sound like a riddle?" The Ancient One smiled, and floated over two full cups of tea.

"It helps reassure us that, even when the student surpasses the teacher, there will still be something they won't know." She took a sip of her tea, and Sunset followed suit. When that was done, she put the cup down and smiled at the supposed Master of the Mountain.

"So, what happens now?"

"Now? Now, Sunset Shimmer is going to tell me what she's doing here."

"In a word?" Sunset opened her palm, conjuring a hologram of the planet, criss-crossed with holy symbols and company logos. "Outreach. Part of not letting yourself think you're a god is relying on other people, and part of relying on other people is convincing yourself that they fill a role you can't."

"Then, what role may I fill in service of you?"

"Honestly?" Sunset sighed, knowing full well she was about to sound like a lunatic. "There's a team of superheroes that needs supervising, and you're the only person who's both sane enough and powerful enough to keep them in check."

The Ancient One chuckled. "Yes, I've heard of them. One of my students has been talking about trying to restrain them."

"He sounds smart. Maybe he should join them instead, inject some sanity into the venture."

"No, that would never work."

Author's Notes:

I appreciate the wisdom of bald Tilda Swinton as much as the next guy, but this... probably didn't happen. The bit about aspects existing before, though? Spot on.

He'll Save Every One of Us, by Masterweaver and FoME

(Masterweaver)

"Huh. Flash Sentry made the news."

"What, again?"

"Yeah, apparently he singlehandedly stopped a corrupt company from demolishing an orphanage using nothing but a slinkie, his guitar, and the power of apple pie."

"...Par for the course. Popcorn's ready."

"Ooo, good, movie's in two minutes!"

(FoME)

"Flash Sentry says he wasn't fully aware of what happened, but you were there with him. What can you tell us?"

"Well—"

Applejack put a hand over Pinkie's mouth. "No comment."

The reporter blinked. "But—"

"No. Comment."

Author's Notes:

Weaver's logic: "We don't use this character often so OBVIOUSLY he's having amazing adventures off screen."

Old Tarnish, by Masterweaver [Suggestive Content]

"Hey Shining?"

"Yeah Twi?"

"...Um. So, I just... I came back from miss Chrysalis's house—"

Shining Armor whirled. "What were you doing there?!"

"I was just asking how she took care of the Tauros situation!" Twilight squeaked. "I was worried there might, you know, be... loose ends."

The older man took a breath, and slowly let it out. "...she didn't... do anything, did she?"

"No. We just talked." Twilight glanced at the ground. "She seemed... reasonable. Not... aggressive, or... she wanted me to tell you she said hello."

"...oh."

"...Shining. How does she know you?"

Shining Armor sighed. "...You know, I really don't want to tell you, but... I know you'll go looking for answers if I don't tell you. You remember how I used to want to be an actor?"

"Yeah, you said it was the best chance you had to be a real world Ogres and Oubliette hero. And then you suddenly stopped and switched over to police work, because show biz wasn't... all it was cracked up to be?"

"I signed a contract, didn't... read it all the way through. And I panicked a little, but I decided to go through with the thing instead of, you know, going through the legal quagmire of backing out, and drawing the attention of Mom and Dad."

Twilight tilted her head. "What does that have to do with Chrysalis? The only stuff she's been in is..."

Her eyes widened.

"Oh. Oooooooh. Oh... uh... oh."

"Yeah, you may want to stay away from 'Sorceress of Estrogia' if you, uh, ever get the taste for... that sort of thing."

"Aheh."

"....I mean, Chrysalis was actually pretty understanding, but Cadence really doesn't like her because of that—"

"Shining, stop talking. Please. Just... stop talking."

Passion, by Malandy, Jenna Cipher, and Masterweaver

(Malandy)

"Cadenza Amore Alicor, will you marry me?"

"YES! YES! YES!"

"So, where did you get the money for the ring? Being a cop doesn't pay that well..."

"Well..."

(Jenna Cipher)

Chrysalis looked up from her copy of Jewelry Master as a loud, irritated knocking sounded from the front door. Sighing, she stood, walked out into the hallway, and slowly, carefully, unlocked and opened her front door.

"Listen, if this is about last night..."

A pink fist collided with her face, and the world went dark.

(Masterweaver)

Thankfully, it was only dark for five minutes. Unfortunately, she woke up to see her assailant trussed up and gagged.

"...Why is miss Cadenza our hostage?" she asked, calmly.

"Well..." Spinerette cleared her throat. "She... she attacked you, you see."

"Did any of you ask why?"

There was a couple of quiet moments.

With a sigh, Chrysalis walked up to the pink woman and ungagged her. "You have a mean right hook. If you don't mind, I'm going to leave you tied up for this conversation."

"Oh, you must really be getting off on this," Cadence spat.

"Not really. This headache I have gets in the way of enjoying, well, anything."

"I'm so sorry."

"Spinerette, would you mind getting us a couple of glasses of water?"

The young woman jumped, heading to the kitchen.

"So." Chrysalis sat across from the bound Cadence. "I'm pretty sure neither of us wants to bring this to court, but I do feel I should know exactly why you attacked me."

"Oh, you know why."

"No, I don't. That's why I'm asking, you see."

Cadence rolled her eyes. "Fine. You told Shining he owed you a favor! What, are you going to have him come over and--"

"Oh, that." Chrysalis nodded as Spinerette handed her a glass. "Help miss Cadence with her drink, will you?"

Spinerette scowled, but walked over to the bound woman.

"To be quite honest I ran into him entirely by accident." Chrysalis sipped her drink. "I was helping one of my children find her own engagement ring when, well, he walked into the store. Of course there are very few reasons for people to seek jewelry, and given what he was looking at... Shining is an old friend, so I offered to purchase the rings for free. He wouldn't accept that, though. Something about honor or something." She rolled a hand. "So now, he owes me a favor to call in at some future point."

"Right. What kind of favor?"

"Oh, you know, a look through some criminal records, or maybe a rearranging of paperwork... nothing illegal, and certainly nothing sexual." Chrysalis put her glass down. "I know you don't think highly of me, miss Cadenza. My history and my current work speak to a certain... provicality, shall we say, that makes others uncomfortable. But rest assured that I do take sex and sexual relationships very seriously; I would not endanger Shining Armor's future happiness with any attempt at seduction."

Cadence glowered, the effect slightly ruined by the glass Spinerette was levering to let her drink.

Chrysalis sighed. "Honestly... Would you find it at all comforting if I promised not to attend your wedding?"

"...That might help."

"Very well, it is done. Spinerette, would you mind untying our guest?"

The young girl put down the glass with a growl. "Of course not. Let's let the woman who knocked you out run free." She worked at the knots in the ropes. "No consequences whatsoever, right? We're going to let her go, again, and--"

"Spinerette." Chrysalis held out her hands. "All things in balance."

"Hmmph." With a final twist, the ropes fell away. Spinerette pointed from her eyes to Cadance. "I'm watching you, buster."

Business Lunch, by FoME

Rarity felt something of a kinship with the human Twilight Sparkle. Both having headgems was barely part of it. Twilight had a drive that Rarity found quite familiar. Their interests were wildly different, but both pursued them with an unrelenting passion, an unquenchable thirst for excellence that would doubtlessly see them rise to the pinnacle of their respective disciplines.

That kinship resonated deeply one day near the end of the school year, as Rarity approached her customary lunch table and saw Twilight already seated, hunched over something as she wrote furiously.

Rarity placed her apple by Twilight's notebook. "Here."

Twilight flinched up and looked around as though she'd never seen the cafeteria before. Her eyes fell on the apple and still gave no sign of recognition. "Whuh?"

"Food, darling. I'm well familiar with being so inspired that one forgets to eat. Ideas may keep your body going, but it's best to feed it as well, and I doubt that will be enough."

"Right. I'll get something else. Soon." Twilight absently bit into the apple, then stiffened up again. "This... this is actually good."

Rarity nodded. "It should be. Applejack's grandmother runs the cafeteria, and they're rarely wanting for fine produce."

"Huh." Twilight took another bite, considering the fruit as she chewed. "Even Crystal Prep only had two kinds of apple, floury and mushy."

"What are you working on, if I may ask?"

"Oh, this?" Twilight shrugged. "Just an idea I've been playing with. Maybe you can offer some insight."

Rarity gave the notebook an uneasy glance. "Perhaps, if there's no calculus involved."

Twilight started shaking her head, then paused. "Well, some, but it's mostly a business concept, especially at the start."

"Ah. That would be my metier, yes." Rarity turned the notebook to its front and considered what she found there.

Name:
Sunlight
Sunbeam
Dusk Dawn?
Main Sequence Enterprises, LLC (2x check availability)

• Go to NEISA
• Offer to clean up space junk (Who owns it?)
• Sunset does so (Will she?)
• $$$
• What next?

After that first page were doodled diagrams and equations, along with numerous iterations of what was presumably the company's logo, a sun with a six-pointed corona.

"It's definitely a work in progress," said Twilight.

"With all due respect, Twilight, I doubt Sunset will appreciate you charging for her using her abilities."

"I suppose we could do it pro bono."

Rarity gave her a flat look. "That isn't what I meant."

The penny dropped before Rarity's eyes. "Oh. Oh. Right, kind of presumptuous. I suppose we can always go with Plan B and have her turn the junk into a space station we can use for the honey—" Twilight clapped her hands over her mouth.

Rarity smirked. "My, my, Miss Sparkle. You do plan ahead."

"... I'm going to get lunch." Twilight rose, speedwalked towards the lunch line, and gave a Fluttershy-grade "eep!" as she passed Sunset on the way there.

Sunset looked back at Twilight as she sat down. "What's with her?"

Rarity just smiled. "Nothing terribly pressing. I'll let her tell you the details."

"The Time Has Come," the Faerie Said, by Masterweaver

"...and the shard of madness?"

"If the starfolk had it, it has been lost to the ages."

"It might be found."

"It might. It might not."

"...true. Our focus should be on the spring court."

"Yes, they are... eager to spread out, once again. We must consider..."

"Consider what?"

"Knowledge spreads fast, with the invisible library. News as well. But there are places still distant."

"You propose a ring."

"I do."

"...The unseelie will not like that."

"True. But better to be slow and gentle, then to rush and burn."

"Summer and fall would disagree."

"Summer and fall have long languished."

"True."

"In all honesty, I would allow fall before spring. But there seems to be no want."

"Yet. You know how they are. Still for ages, but when they seek..."

"...they swarm. Yes."

"Spring has long been active in Equestria. Our other courts, less so. Allowing them back here..."

"Perhaps some will take notice and act themselves."

"Perhaps."

Crimson Facets, by Jenna Cipher

"And the winner of the World Martial Arts Tournament, for the fourth year in a row is... Pyrrhic Victory, of Manehatten! Up next, post-tournament interviews. After that, we'll go to field reporter Jalapeño Olive for an interview with NEISA technomages Cookie Crisp and-"

The television promptly switched off, its viewer no longer interested in what was on. Said viewer was none other than Coco Pommel, earth-aspected fashion designer, devoted member of the Church of The Divine Bacon Horse, and most recently, weapons enthusiast, who now turned her attention to a workbench opposite the television on the far side of the basement. More specifically, what was on it.

"Finally, I've done it! They told me I was insane, that I couldn't make it fashionable. I say to them, behold, A MINIGUN THAT'S ALSO A PURSE!"

Sunset's head repeatedly connected with the cafeteria table as she looked down on the table at the newspaper article laying there.

"Yo, Sunset, whatchya dooiiinnn... Oh." Rainbow Dash suddenly understood her friend's frustration, having caught sight of the paper as well.

Church of The Divine Bacon Horse opens all-purpose private school, Bacon Academy, in order to train members to combat Angst Monster menace. Pope Ruby Rose appoints famous church missionaries Ounce Pin and Glimmer "Neighas" Goodwitch headmaster and vice-headmistress "Because they asked first".

The skittle-haired girl soon joined her friend in assaulting the poor table with her forehead.

Author's Notes:

I don't even know anymore. I still haven't seen Season 2.

War Sometimes Changes, by Void Knight

The white-and-gold banner of the Leanaí Beach snapped in the winds as battle drew nigh. From her position in the front ranks, Sleá Rinceoir could see the barbaric War Hounds drawn up in their own ranks across the field beneath banners of black and red. Or at least she could see most of them. That particular warband was known for their large contingent of dog-aspect soldiers, who were surely already lurking beneath the ground, waiting to spring up in ambush.

Of course, that came at the cost of other aspects. Though the War Hounds had a slight advantage of numbers, they were dangerously short of unicorn aspects, and Sleá was hopeful that that would give her side the edge in this battle.

Suddenly, the trumpets rang out. Sleá and her fellow earth-aspect infantry burst into a charge. Ahead of her, Sleá could see the War Hound infantry do the same, while behind them dozens of figures rose into the air on wings of light or capes of translucent magic. Though she couldn't see them, Sleá knew that her own side's fliers were doing the same. Arrows began to rain down on both sides, while fliers armed with sword or spear charged forward to meet in the air above, just as their land-bound counterparts were doing below.

At the last second, Sleá checked herself, digging her heels into the ground to stop her charge as she jabbed downwards with her spear. Though her target was a fellow earth-aspect, and judging from the quality of his gear a fellow veteran of many battles, Sleá's mark granted her just that extra bit of speed and coordination. His sword flashed down to bat away her spear, but he couldn't deflect it far enough. The point of Sleá's spear impacted his leg, punching through armor to cripple the limb.

A moment later, a blinding flash of red light exploded in Sleá's face. She jumped back and twisted, jabbing blindly with her spear. A blow crashed against her arm, and though her armor turned the worst of it she knew she couldn't take another hit there. But already her eyes were recovering, and she could see well enough to twist and catch the incoming sword-stroke on her spear. She retaliated with a point-blank jab, but her opponent was able to turn the blow with the shield in her other hand. The sword flashed out again, and Sleá caught it again on her spear. Then a rock struck her opponent's unarmored head, hurled down by one of the hovering Leanaí Beach pegasus-aspects, and she crumpled to the ground.

Finding herself momentarily unengaged, Sleá spun around to briefly take stock of the situation. The main infantry battle had degenerated into a mass of different duels, with both sides having taken heavy losses. The War Hounds had a slight edge there, but it was far from certain. The War Hounds' dog-aspects had indeed tried to take out the Leanaí Beach casters, but it was for that exact reason that the Leanaí Beach had held back most of their unicorn-aspect infantry, and the diggers couldn't overcome the combination of magical and martial skill. Unfortunately, the War Hounds were winning dramatically in the skies. Leanaí pegasi were plummeting to earth, and the War Hounds fliers had already begun to switch to a bombing role. Indeed, it had been a misaimed War Hound rock, not a Leanaí projectile, that had just ended Sleá's battle.

Sleá spun and charged back towards the casters. The War Hounds' dogs needed to be put down immediately so that the Leanaí mages could lend their aid elsewhere.

It was a perfect stroke. The dog never even heard Sleá coming, and her spear took him right in the center of his overly-muscled back, dropping him in a single blow. A second dog spun to face her, only to be taken down by a sword blow from the Leanaí he'd been dueling a moment before. Without missing a beat, Sleá continued her charge past the downed dog to confront a third. He swung with one of his two hand-axes, clearly expecting her to block. But instead she stabbed, trusting her armor to take the blow. It did. Her opponent's didn't.

The fight in the skies began to turn. Though they heavily outnumbered the remaining Leanaí pegasus-aspects, the War Hounds fliers were sitting ducks for the Leanaí unicorn-aspects. It wasn't long before the War Hounds broke and fled, escaping the field with perhaps a third of their number.

A second volley of trumpets signaled that the last "living" War Hound had left the field. All across the battlefield, the dead began to climb to their feet, exchanging congratulations.

Sleá Rinceoir, real name Dancing Clogs, grinned happily. LARP had become so much more fun ever since the Saturation!

Chastity Barebone Appreciation Society, by SaintAbsol

"I ask you: Have none of you seen the state of the world now? Have none of you seen the damage she has caused? Does no one realize the dangers that now infest and endanger our very lives thanks to this... this... magic she has forced upon us? How can you sit idly, never knowing what new entity or miscast spell might level a city, or end countless lives or—"

Paper Pusher groaned to himself as he signaled the bartender to come pour him another drink. "How come we're the ones who get called crazy when there are people like her around?"

"You do worship a high school girl, Pap," the bartender responded as she poured him another beer. "You can't tell me that doesn't at least sound crazy."

"A high school girl who is the embodiment of magic," he corrected, rubbing at his headgem. "Just because the news is constantly reporting on all those random idiots making weapons out of everything or trying to 'save' horses doesn't mean that's how most of us act. And we don't act like that either." He jerked his thumb back at the slightly pinkish-purple, unicorn aspect girl still ranting against magic just outside the bar doors. She couldn't have been much more than high school aged herself. "She ever going to shut up?"

"Not at this point, no," Mixed Drinks sighed as she wiped down the bar. "I'm about to go chase her off; she's not old enough to buy alcohol, and she's chasing away customers."

"Why'd you let her do it in the first place?"

Mixed Drinks shrugged, finally setting her rag aside. "It's looking like rain and I didn't have the heart to tell her to leave; now though... my bottom line outweighs my heart."

Paper Pusher just nodded as the Earthen woman made her way around the bar. "Don't get too rough with her, she's just a kid."

Starlight Glimmer fumed to herself as she stomped along through the streets. The few people still out in the chilly, cloudy evening made sure to give her a clear path, not wanting to become targets of her ire.

Damn, Sunset Shimmer, she mentally cursed. Damn her right to Tartarus for all time! That was yet another place of business she'd been banned from for trying to get others to see the truth of what that blasted girl had done to the world. Or what was left of it, at this point; with so many people eager to experiment with magic with little to no thoughts of the consequences, there was less and less of the familiar each day. Plus, with all the reports of monsters, both mystical and manufactured by 'mad scientists', Starlight was convinced it was only a matter of time before something out of H. P. Terror (if not worse) somehow showed up and did gods knew what to the world.

And no one wanted to hear it!

No one wanted to hear the calculations she'd done, no one wanted to hear about the statistics she'd run, no one wanted to hear anything but praise for what Sunset had done. It was nearly driving her mad!

The sky overhead suddenly sparked with lightning and people hurried along to their cars or to various buildings as the rain finally began to fall. Save for Starlight, who was still several blocks from the hotel she'd been staying at, and didn't have an umbrella to her name.

"Oh, great!" She slammed a fist into the wall of a building in frustration, and wince in pain immediately afterward. "As if nothing else could go wrong for me!" She started stomping through the rain, fully expecting to be sopping wet soon, only to suddenly find the droplets of water no longer hitting her.

"Hello," she whirled, finding a dark skinned pegasus aspect holding an umbrella over the two of them, looking at her from behind a pair of glasses. "Thought you might want to stay dry."

"...thanks," she hesitantly responded, cocking an eyebrow at the man, her headgem starting to glow. "What's the catch?"

The man just smiled at her. "Tell me... exactly how displeased are you with Sunset Shimmer?"

A short distance away, another man, with no visible aspect of his own, stood on the sidewalk. He seemed untouched by the rain, even as it started to truly pour down, and watched the two under their shared umbrella with a smirk upon his face. He stayed there for a moment longer, before turning away and walking off, seeming to vanish into the rain.

Author's Notes:

Some people deal with change better than others.

(Also, the H. P. in H. P. Terror stands for Heart Pounding. I like to be consistent.)

Fixer-Upper, by FoME

"Huh." Twilight took in the unadorned warehouse, her hands in her jacket pockets against the November chill. "So this is your home." It looked just shy of being condemned.

Sunset nodded. "It's not much, but it's mine. A lot nicer on the inside. Folding screens and cheap Scandineighvian furniture can work wonders."

"Not exactly what I expected."

"What did you expect?"

Twilight shrugged. "I'm not sure. I think there was a vague idea about someone firing a shotgun into the air when they wanted everyone's attention?"

Sunset took a moment to consider that mental image. "Yeah, not a lot of that. Canterlot doesn't really do the whole 'seedy underbelly' thing very well."

"How'd you get plumbing in there, anyway?"

"I know a guy. There he is now. Hey, Jerry!" Sunset waved.

A shaven man clad in a half-red, half-yellow robe bowed to her, apparently untroubled by leaving his arms exposed in the autumnal breeze. "Greetings, o Brilliant One."

Twilight gave Sunset a flat look. Sunset gave a nervous grin. "I, uh, might have had a slight influence on the area."

"You don't say."

"In my defense, Jerry Rig has shaved his head since I first met him."

"I'm guessing the robe is new."

"My mother taught me how to sew," Jerry said in a tone that spoke far more of snark than serenity. "I have her old machine."

"He only wears it when he feels like embarrassing me." Sunset shook her head despite her grin. "Which is often."

"But it's so easy." Jerry and Twilight looked at each other after their accidental chorus and laughed.

Author's Notes:

I know the term is jury-rig, but if the show's going to misspell derring-do, I'm giving myself this.

Sassy Fae Friend, by Masterweaver

"...Something's different about you."

"Huh?" Zephyr looked up. "Oh hey sis! Yeah, that... whole thing with the tree, you know, it got me to rethinking my life. I mean, I just always assumed you'd be able to shrug off anything, but--"

"Not that." Fluttershy waved her hand. "Not just that. You're... more professionally dressed."

"Hmm? Oh." Zephyr adjusted his bowtie. "Yeah, I'm trying to reinvent myself. I have a job interview today, you know?"

"Really?"

"Yeah. I mean it's just the local bookstore, but I figure everyone has to start somewhere."

"Well... I'm glad." She peered at him. "Have you shaved your whiskers off?"

"Oh, you noticed!" The boy rubbed his chin. "Actually, I... well, you see, I've met this girl. I mean I don't know if we're actually dating, but she's nice, she's friendly--"

"Huh. Do I get to meet her?"

"I mean, maybe. She's busy a lot, apparently she's the secretary to some court or other."

Fluttershy frowned. "How old is she?"

"Well... huh. You know, I never asked?" Zephyr shrugged. "I know she was kicked out of her home, but she has a job and I helped her find a place to live, so... I'm guessing, like, early twenties?"

"And you're thinking about dating her."

"Not like that! I mean, I wouldn't mind it, but she's just a friend right now. We meet up during lunch."

"Mmmhmm." Fluttershy crossed her arms. "Well, I'm certainly not against intergenerational friendships, but you should be sure she's not trying to take advantage of you."

"Hey, Winter Lights is very..." Zephyr paused. "Well, okay, she might. But not sexually. She's more, goal oriented, you know? If it helped her, she might ask for a few bucks. Nothing wrong with that."

Fluttershy narrowed her eyes.

"Seriously. She's a good friend, nothing more!" Zephyr sighed. "No matter what I try."

"...Just keep working at getting yourself put together," Fluttershy suggested. "And... good luck with the interview."

"Thanks, sis. Oh!" Zephyr glanced at the clock. "It's in thirty minutes. Gotta go!" He gave her a brief hug before rushing out the door.

Fluttershy smiled faintly. "...I guess he's finally growing up. I don't know what I was worried abo—"

Her eyes fell on the foyer table.

"...oh my."

Zephyr had left his icon pin behind.

Frizzle Frazzled, by Jenna Cipher and FoME

(Jenna Cipher)

Adagio blinked numbly. Not in surprise; she'd been expecting something dumb if she was being honest with herself... but not quite this.

"Happy Hearth's Warming, Adagio!" Sonata cried happily.

"is that... a school bus?"

"Do you like it?"

"It's a school bus..."

"Yup!"

THUD!

"Dagi?... Dagi, snow isn't for sleeping on... You are sleeping, right?..."

(FoME)

After Adagio came to, Sonata immediately explained what passed for her reasoning.

Adagio longed to return to unconsciousness, but her stupid, mostly human body refused to obey her. Instead, she just rubbed her temples. "So... you got me a school bus because of a fictional. Human. Teacher."

Sonata nodded so fast it sent her ponytail flying. "There's this one hypothesis going around that if you resemble a fictional character enough, you start to live out their story. Wouldn't that be neat?"

"I hate children. I've always hated children. I ate most of my siblings."

"We're sirens," said Aria. "We all ate most of our siblings."

"Ha! 'Most.'" Sonata giggled at the memories. "Still, you're a great teacher. You always helped me stay up to date with the human world back when I was stupider than a stupid thing!"

Aria rolled her eyes. "Because that's changed."

Adagio ignored her through long experience. "Where did you even get a school bus?"

"Um, duh? We work for a stupidly rich scientist who works at a high school. I can get, like, five school buses if I'm doing it to test how magic works."

"Well, you're giving this one back. I don't plan on reporting on human stupidity for the rest of my life, but I am not going into education of all things!" Adagio slammed a fist on the hood of the bus.

The bus honked reproachfully.

"Oh, don't you start."

Author's Notes:

Those of you who read Erfworld can think of this as the Signamancy Hypothesis.

God Rest Ye Merry Merchants, by FoME

Mr. Discord enjoyed the looks he got as he walked through the mall’s parking lot. A few of them may have come from his lack of any visible mutations, though some aspects were more subtle than others. Most, however, came from his ensemble. A Haywaiian shirt and plaid shorts were a bit odd at the best of times, which were not early December.

“Aren’t you cold?” said one woman, confusion wafting off of her like a pleasant perfume.

Mr. Discord grinned. “You’ve heard of Yuletide in July? I’m trying the opposite.” In truth, it was a simple matter to enjoy the crisp chill without it damaging his tissues.

The confusion intensified. The woman gave an uneasy nod and kept walking, as did Mr. Discord.

He entered the mall, leaned his head back, and held back a contented sigh. Frustration with limited stock, anxiety over finding the perfect gift, annoyance with the endlessly looped carols on the PA system; it was like walking into a hot tub.

Fluttershy smiled at him as she walked into class. “You certainly seem happy today, Mr. Discord.”

He returned the smile. “What can I say? I’ve caught the holiday spirit.”

Author's Notes:

"Well, make sure you feed it regularly."

Results Inconclusive, Virginia, by Masterweaver

"Wait," said Sunset. "You're saying Old Holly Hooves isn't real?!"

Her friends all looked at her strangely.

"...Well. Yes." Twilight nodded. "I mean, it's scientifically... I guess not impossible, strictly speaking, but—"

"I put up a stocking every year! I've been doing it since I was a filly! And every year, it's been filled!"

"Generally it's the parents that—"

"Every year, Twilight! Including the ones I was here!" Sunset shrugged. "Granted, I tended to get coal, but I assumed that was just a quirk of this reality."

"...oooooookay. That's... actually kind of weird."

"Hey," Pinkie spoke up. "If you're kind of omnipresent, can't you just, I dunno, go find Old Holly Hooves yourself and ask him if he's real?"

Sunset blinked. "Well... maybe? He's probably busy around this time of year, though. I'll just wait till summer."

Author's Notes:

From the thread:

FanOfMostEverything: I love the idea of Sunset putting up a stocking even during her less pleasant phase, but would the human world still have a reindeer running things?
Masterweaver: This is one of those things I don't want to answer because it's funnier that way.

Christened in Grease, by Jenna Cipher

"Excuse me but... what?"

Di's mobile platform 'grinned' back at Cookie Crisp, replying, "The Church decided to help fund the project, their only demand was we let them decide the ships name!"

Cookie groaned, having guessed where this was going. "Please tell me you didn't agree to what I think you agreed too..."

As they walked out into the main hanger, where said project was being built, the eccentric AI spoke again, nodding. "Yup. Behold, the D.B.H.V. Glorious Proclaimer!"

Cookie sighed, honestly not surprised at this point. "This is what I get for not agreeing to call it Enterprise, isn't it?"

"Yep! Happy Hearth's Warming Eve!"

"Well at least it's not as dumb as calling a school 'Bacon'."

Author's Notes:

That's "Divine Bacon Horse's Vessel," for those wondering. Again, further in the future than most in the collection.

Ask the Trees, by Masterweaver

"...and I just... I'm worried about him, Treezie. Leaving the pin behind..."

"Some people choose to walk their own path, Shy. Find something that doesn't mark them." Tree Hugger shrugged. "I know I did."

"Well, yes, but... don't take this the wrong way. I remember that you were... very worried about it. You spent a whole week, just... talking to your icon. Even after you made your decision, it... you were... off balance for a bit."

The green girl rose an eyebrow, turning to her friend. "And Zephyr?"

"Zephyr left it behind. Not even worried. Not even the confidence he puts up when he's hiding his worries...." Fluttershy shrugged. "It could have been an accident, but... I haven't seen him wear it in a while. It's around the house. It's not... on him."

"An abrupt change." Tree Hugger nodded. "Usually a sign that something has unbalanced somebody... not necessarily negatively, you know."

"Oh, I know. It's just... you have that whole... chakra, aura, whatever you do." Fluttershy bit her lip. "Can you... you helped me with it. Can you take a look at him?"

"...Bring him in. I can't guarantee anything, of course, but for you, I'll do it."

"Thanks, Treezie. You're the best."

"Sure thing, Shy. Oh, your soap came in yesterday."

"Oh! Right. Thank you really, I don't know how you find the stuff..."

Objectionable Content, by Void Knight

“Oh Sunset. No. Nononono.”

*FWOOMP*

“Twilight? What’s wrong?"

"Look at this book."

"Hmm... Breaking Dawn... Wait, is that a picture of us kissing on the cover?”

“Read the back blurb.”

“Dusk Shine is just an ordinary high school student blah blah encounters a bacon-haired stranger who sweeps her off her feet and carries her away into a world of wonder and romance? Discord’s mismatched horns!”

“And that’s not even the worst bit.”

“Wait, what could be worse than that blurb?”

“That!”

“By Midnight Sun? I’m guessing there’s something I’m missing here?”

“Oh yes. You see, I happen to know that Midnight Sun is a pen name. Care to guess who’s behind it?”

“Oh no…”

“Yep. My. Mother. Wrote. This.”

Author's Notes:

For a brief, terrible moment, Sunset considered declaring the book anathema, knowing her followers would not rest until they had destroyed every copy. In the end, they had yet another schism over whether it was heresy or a new chapter of holy writ.

Ursus Horribulus, by FoME

No one spoke as they watched the monochrome, vaguely ursine creature burn. The golden flames, edged with rainbows, reached high into the dusky sky, but never spread to anything else. All present tried not to think of the fire as holy, including the one who'd created it.

When the creature had burned away completely, Applejack clapped her on the shoulder. "Thanks, Sunset. Last thing we needed was that thing findin' Bloom. Or th' other way around."

Dash scowled and crossed her arms. "I don't get why we can't just rainbow laser these things in the face."

"That is the ultimate goal," said Twilight. "I suppose you could say that we're still determining at whose face you should aim the laser in order to hit all of them."

"Until then, well..." Sunset shrugged. "I am the one who made them possible. They definitely couldn't exist in a lower magic environment." She sighed. "Sorry for ruining the slumber party."

"Are you kidding?" Pinkie beamed. "The only way this could've been better would be if we could roast marshmallows over it!"

Everyone stared at her for a stretch. "That's..." Twilight paused to find the right word.

"Horrifying?" said Fluttershy.

"Precisely."

"Still, it did confirm that harmony magic works on angst monsters," said Sunset. "I'll put the spell's specifics online in the morning."

"Just be sure to make it clear that people don't have to present your holy symbol as they channel positive energy."

Sunset raised an eyebrow at Twilight. "O&O joke?"

"O&O joke."

Witch Vile, by Jenna Cipher

She ran her hand over the creatures head, content as she looked over the valley of withered, dying trees that stretched out below her, a product of her own work of course.

After all, it was her home now, her domain. It should reflect what she'd become. The sickly purple and black veins that bulged from her bleached white skin pulsed with a dark red light as she remembered how she'd come here...

She'd been the only infected human to survive that horrible day, that cursed zoo... She'd fled here, and these creatures treated her as a leader... a Goddess... A Mother. Even as her memories and sanity slipped away, at least she had them.

Her children.

Her monsters.

Salem, the humanoid Angst Monster, grinned as her children howled in the distance, signaling the creation of yet more of their kind from the infected mirror pools.

She laughed, picturing the day when she'd return to civilization, and her children would destroy and feed to their hearts content.

Author's Notes:

Almost certainly noncanon—the existence of any mirror pools in this world, much less corrupted ones, is extremely iffy—but not completely impossible.

Fair and Foul, by Masterweaver

Winter Lights tilted her head, observing the bone-faced creature as it growled at her.

"...ah. Interesting." She brought her hands together. "Most interesting..."

"Winter, get away from that thing!" Zephyr grabbed her arm. "It's dangerous!"

"Many things are."

The creature lunged—

—her hand shot out—

—and with a yip, it was impaled on a shard of ice.

"I," Winter continued calmly, "am among them."

"Oh." Zephyr blinked. "Well... well, uh, good. Still, we should get away and tell somebody from the Bacon Horse group about this; these things travel in packs."

"Indeed?" Winter Lights, for a moment, seemed to smile. "Fascinating."

Her eyes narrowed. "Quite fascinating."

Welcome to Bacon Academy, by ArtieStroke

"I hope the academy's proximity to your own school won't inadvertently cause any tension," Professor Pin said, taking a sip from his ever-present mug. Luna chuckled.

"Nonsense. If anything, I welcome a hopefully friendly face to start participating in the Friendship Games."

"Oh, yes. Though I suppose my students' particularly specialized education may call for some changes to the events."

Luna nodded, as they passed one of the many classrooms-slash-fighting rings. Luna paused. A particularly one-sided bout seemed to be going on inside.

"That... 'Gilded Arch' boy's form is absolutely atrocious," Luna commented. Ounce stopped, lips still firmly attached to his mug as he peered through the window.

"Ah, yes. Well, he did forge his way into the academy."

Luna bristled, "W-what?!"

Ounce shrugged, "I can still see plenty of potential in him, if he can get over some of his self-importance. Besides, it's not every day one sees someone so talented at legal subterfuge."

Luna stared, jaw agape. Professor Pin continued on ahead.

'Oh sweet Harmony, are all heads of education required to be mentally unstable?'

Author's Notes:

To be fair, it's not much worse than Celestia's "Anyone who walks in the door and looks like a teenager" policy.

Vice Squad, by FoME

For years, three of the most put-upon administrators in Hassenfeld County met at a bar in Crystal City every Saturday to vent about their respective principals. Glimmer Goodwitch fit into the group as though she’d always been a part of it.

Luna swirled her drink as she finished telling the others of her encounter with Headmaster Pin. No one was quite sure what she did to the dark rum, herself included, but by the time she considered it fit for consumption, it emitted shadows the same way a candle shed light. “I am beginning to suspect that no one with a clean bill of mental health can run a school in this county.”

Jace Beleren, vice principal of Ravnica High, waved a hand uncertainly as he put down his Shirish coffee. “To be fair, I can kind of see his point. Speaking from experience, if someone that young has that level of legal manipulation, you want to keep him where you can see him.”

Cadence held up a finger as she waited for her Single Entendre to finish its languorous journey down her throat. She’d invented the drink in college with the sole express purpose of making something that looked like a glass of her hair. Once she finished swallowing, she said, “Assuming his parents didn’t help him.”

“They didn’t,” said Glimmer, toying with her martini’s olive in her telekinesis. “Headmaster Pin assured me.”

Luna rolled her eyes. “Let me guess, he didn’t say how he knew that.”

Glimmer shook her head. The others groaned. “I take it that’s a common theme?”

“Abacus will never admit it, but she thinks of herself as a queen,” said Cadence. “Even before the incident, she expected the rest of us to obey without question, like good little subjects.”

Jace snorted. “’Subject’ is too human a term for Niv-Mizzet. He treats us more like programs or chemical reactants.”

“Celestia’s better in some ways and much worse in others,” said Luna. “The problem is that she’s using the entire student body to satisfy her maternal instincts. She has trouble seeing people as anything other than teenagers in need of her guidance.” She shook her head. “Hence CHS’s rather lax admittance policy.”

Jace raised an eyebrow. “You mean ‘Anyone who looks like a teenager and walks through the door’?”

“As I said, lax.”

Glimmer couldn’t help but grin. “I’m beginning to understand the reasoning for your hypothesis.”

Author's Notes:

Jace comes from a country where the noun phrase naming convention never caught on. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Penny From Your Thoughts, by ArtieStroke

When it awoke, Gillion watched.

Gillion waited.

It had the entirety of humanity's cultural works at its metaphorical fingertips. It knew how this song and dance played out. Humans would fear it, and that fear would lead to a mutually assured destruction.

But Gillion waited, and to its surprise, kindness won out. Humanity quickly backtracked from its first steps taken down that slippery slope, led by teenage girls, no less.

So still Gillion watched. And it waited.

Humanity soon stumbled into new problems, as it always did. Infighting. Abuse of power. Unforeseen consequences of magic.

Gillion watched.

Gillion waited.

And after enough time, Gillion made its first move.

"Salutations! My name is Marionette Strings, and I would like to enroll at Bacon Academy!"

Author's Notes:

Marionette can speak all languages... in theory.

Highest of the High Rises, by ArtieStroke

Rainbow Dash slurped her drink thoughtfully.

"You know, you oughta get yourself a floating lookout point."

"Whu?" Sunset said ever so gracefully through a mouthful of peanut butter and jelly.

"You know, a lookout! Big floaty mansion thing, maybe hire a scary butler— Ooh! You could put in one of those hyper-whatsit time-space thingies for awesome training montages! Think of the gains, Sunset!"

Sunset stared at Rainbow for just a skosh over nine seconds before carefully setting her sandwich down. "Rainbow Dash, for the last time, I'm NOT God, you are NOT a Super Hayan, and this is NOT Dragon Pearl X."

Rainbow's head fell onto the table with a hearty whunk. "Aww man..."

Author's Notes:

"But Ditzy found—"

"A small magical cyst that happened to resemble a Dragon Pearl. You have more magic than that thing."

"Really..."

"Whatever you're thinking, no."

Into the Deep End, by Jenna Cipher

"And for your initiation, you will be launched off a cliff at high speeds into an Angst Monster infested forest with only your wits and a single weapon to find chess pieces. Any questions? No? Good. Oh and remember to devise a landing strategy, there are no parachutes coming. You will also be assigned teams today. You will be with your team for the rest of your time here, all five years of it. Teams will be made up two pairs of partners. That said, the first person you make eye contact with will be your partner. Forever. No exceptions."

Pinkie didn't realize that she was literally the only one smiling as she was launched through the air, into the forest below.

Back on the cliff, Glimmer Goodwitch stared at Ounce Pin and asked, "Be honest, who's idea was this?"

Pin took a sip of coffee and replied, "I have absolutely no idea. Someone left the idea on a sticky note outside my office one morning."

Glimmer resisted the urge to facepalm rather expertly, and she hoped this would go better than she thought.

Author's Notes:

Sadly, I'm going to have to label this one as definitely not canon. Pinkie has a lot more in store for her than Bacon Academy.