Life is just a long series of minor inconveniences, interrupted by short bits of regular inconveniences. If you're unfortunate, something decent happens to you, permanently turning every minor inconvenience from then on into a slightly more than minor inconvenience.

This is a story about just that.

My name is Garden Hose. Yes, it really is Garden Hose. My parents genuinely took one look at me as a newborn foal and said, "Yep, looks like a Garden Hose to me." I never bothered to ask why. I just figured my parents Garden Rake and Weed Whacker weren't the sharpest tools in the shed.

I could have been named after a flower. Aloe Vera--That's a pretty name. Petunia, Lily, Rose, Juniper, all of those are decent names. But no. My name is Garden Hose. That was only Exhibit A on my long-winded belief that life is just plain inconvenient.

The one decent thing in my life, which I will say now  for the record turned into a slightly more than minor inconvenience, was a little watering pail I was given for my Cuteceñara.

I loved that thing despite its imperfections. It was clearly a secondhand item. Dirt lined the edges, only half cleaned up, dings and dents marked its "character," and honest to Celestia, it still had a little bit of water in it. It immediately became an inconvenience by ruining my Cuteceñara dress.

Nonetheless, I still used it every day.

Exhibit B on why it turned out to be an inconvenience:

We moved to the Crystal Empire, the Celestia-damned asscrack of the north. Most of the time, it was too cold to even plant a decent set of perennial flowers. In nine out of the twelve months, a flower planted meant that I had to guard it with my life, lest the freezing winter make it brittle enough to shatter with a careless flick of the tail.

Imagine my excitement when Spring came along. Of course, there was the news of the Royal Baby, but I cared more for the royal blue roses I planned to plant today. In fact, since everypony was off at the Royal Crystaling, I would be undistirbd to work on my garden. Today was going to be a decent day, good even.

Don't forget what I said about decent.

"Aren't you excited for the Crystaling?"

"Erm... no?"

The old mare glared at me, crossing her hooves indignantly as she leaned back into her lawn chair. She was parked in front of the castle, fighting sleep as she began to nod off in the middle of the conversation. Whether the bags under her eyes came from lack of sleep or her old age, I'd never find out... or care even.

Shrugging,